Wild Horses
by LouBlue
Summary: EJami fic. Sequel to "Every Cloud..." Stefano continues to cast a shadow over EJ and Sami's happiness leading to the ultimate showdown. In amongst the drama a wedding is being planned but will it happen and will Uncle John ever get the girl?
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****: **Well thank you all for joining me in the third instalment of the "Patience is a Virtue…" series.

If you've stumbled across this and haven't read "Patience is a Virtue…" and "Every Cloud…" then I highly recommend you go back and have a read of those to make sense of this instalment. We are taking off more or less where we left off from in "Every Cloud…".

In the last instalment we tied up the loose end of Lucas and now in this story we have Stefano to deal with plus a wedding to try and finally get happening. It is so icky to watch EJ and Sami on the show nowadays – there is just no fun to them anymore and I really love these stories personally because they are a happy place to take refuge and just enjoy all the general craziness of the DiMera household and the wonderfulness of EJami. I am going to be introducing a few new characters along the way and I'll try and remember to drop a note in and let you all know of the actors I was thinking of when they crop up.

This story introduces a favourite amongst my "Forbidden Love" readers who is a perfect foil for Uncle John in a weird kind of a way plus an old favourite returns. There are engagement parties, Uncle John's strangeness continues to know no bounds and we find out if he ever makes a home run when it comes to Blondie. LOL There is lots going on so let's get cracking eh? I'll try to post every day with this story – I'll see how I go. Feedback is as always very appreciated.

So if you will, please enjoy "Wild Horses..."

**WILD HORSES****…**

**Chapter ONE**

EJ padded around his hotel room, his bare feet practically noiseless on the carpeted floors. He'd just had a shower and was just wearing black sweat pants. He picked up his watch that was lying on the bed side table and checked the time, eager to ring home. He'd rung earlier to say good night to the twins but it was past nine now and he wanted Sami's voice to be the last thing he heard before he fell asleep. He picked up his cell phone and dialled the familiar number.

"Hello?"

"Hello sweetheart," he said, unable to help the sudden smile on his face at the sound of her voice, "How's my best girl?"

"Feeling abandon," she said and he could hear the pout in her voice.

"My poor darling," he said, "Whatever can I do to make it up to you?"

"Get on a plane right now and come home to me and your children," she offered up hopefully.

"I wish I could Samantha," he sighed, sitting on the bed, "I miss you guys but I'll be home tomorrow afternoon."

"That's too far away," she said unhappily and then sighed, "So how's Idaho anyway?"

"A lot of potatoes," he told her with a smile.

"Well that sounds like fun," she said wryly.

"Oh it is," said EJ sounding very sincere, "Wildly so."

"And the case you're handling is going well?" she asked him, going to sit cross legged on their bed now, back against the head board.

"It is," said EJ, "Thank goodness, I really didn't want to stay that extra day but it looks like I won't have to so that's good."

"Yes," agreed Sami, listlessly picking at a bit of fluff on the bed cover, "I want you home. I hate sleeping in this big bed without you."

"I hate you sleeping in that big bed without me too," said EJ softly.

Sami smiled at that, missing him even more now.

"So," EJ drawled, settling back on the bed, his head on the pillow and one hand behind his head, "What are you wearing?"

"What?" she laughed at him.

"I want to know what I'm missing out on," he told her cheekily.

"Is that right?" she said teasingly and looked down at herself, "It's the blue nightie, the one with the lace along the top."

"Oh," he groaned, "My favourite, that's cruel Samantha."

"Well then," she grinned, "I'm not the one who got on a plane and left me all alone am I?"

"So what are you wearing then?" she asked him impishly.

EJ looked down at his black sweat pants and answered her.

"Black teddy with crotchless knickers," he said perfectly straight faced to which she dissolved in to giggles at.

He joined in, loving it when he made her laugh.

"So," he said teasingly, settling back more comfortably against the pillows now, absently scratching his chest, "What shall we talk about now?"

"Let's see," she mused, "How about world politics?"

"How about you tell me what panties you've got on," he suggested instead, "After all I told you mine."

"Hm," she mused, "I guess you did but unfortunately I can't. I'm not wearing any."

"Samantha!" he groaned, closing his eyes in frustration, "You're killing me here."

"Is that right?" she said playfully, "Poor baby, if I was there I'd kiss it all better for you."

"Really?" he said, arching an interested eyebrow, "And where exactly would you kiss to make it all better."

"Where would you _like_ me to kiss?" she turned it back on him mischievously.

"Where are you?" he asked suddenly.

"In our bedroom," she told him, "Sitting our bed."

"Lie back down," he said huskily.

"EJ," she said, biting her lip at the tone of his voice, the teasing suddenly gone now.

"Lie down for me sweetheart," he told her and Sami felt a quiver go through her at the sound of his deep voice all of a sudden.

"What are you doing?" she asked him a little hesitantly but doing as he said.

"You," he said simply and she blushed bright red then.

"We can't EJ!" she said sounding scandalised, Sami had never done anything like this before.

"Of course we can sweetheart," he told her confidently, "Are you lying down now?"

Sami made a little face, feeling her nerves tighten in anticipation and a thrill at how wrong this was.

"Yes," she breathed.

"I want you to touch your lips for me sweetheart," he told her quietly, "Can you do that for me?"

"Yes," she said a little unevenly, putting two fingers to her lips.

"Your lips are so soft," he murmured, closing his eyes and recalling the sensation of kissing them, "If I was there now I'd be kissing those lips, my tongue inside your mouth, tasting you."

Sami closed her eyes too and pressed the phone a little harder to her ear without realising it, remembering his kisses as well, the feel of his beard first thing in the morning rubbing against her soft skin, the smell of him in her nostrils.

"Yes," she sighed happily.

"I'd be touching your breasts now," he told her throatily, "Cupping them in my hands, squeezing them so your nipples get hard, they drive me so crazy when they do that. Touch them Samantha, make them hard for me."

Sami bit her lip but couldn't stop herself, her hand gliding down her chest now. She could feel her rapidly beating heart against her finger tips now as she moved lower, her breath becoming uneven. EJ's hand slid lower too, resting on his stomach, running over the hard muscles there, his fingers skimming lightly just under the band of his sweat pants but no lower.

"I'd want to see you first," he told her, his voice so low now that it seemed to vibrate through her and fresh wetness gushed out of her core and she moved a little uncomfortably against the ache, "Pull down the straps of your nightie, I want you exposed."

Sami had no choice but to do what he said, it was like she was under his spell all of a sudden. She was alone in the room, the lights were down and she was now lying on the bed with her breasts uncovered with the sound of his deep, almost melodic voice in her ear and it was a deliciously sexy experience.

"Have you done it?" he asked her.

"Yes," she gasped, feeling the cool night air on her naked skin, "I'm cold now."

"Let's see if I can't warm you up then eh sweetheart," he murmured, "Take your nipple in your fingers for me, pull on it and twist it baby, you know what you like."

Sami complied, arching into her own touch, working on it for him.

"Lick your fingers," he told her huskily, "And then go back. That's my mouth Samantha, my mouth on your body, loving you, my tongue lapping at those peaks."

Sami gave a soft little moan, imagining him there, dark head attached to her breast, clever tongue teasing at the sensitive buds. She pulled a little harder on them now, feeling her excitement starting to increase. EJ heard her change of breathing, could feel her becoming more aroused even over the phone lines and could stand it no longer. He pushed down his pants, exposing his rapidly hardening member and wrapped his hand around it and squeezed, picturing himself at her breast, remembering the feel of playing with that bud with his tongue, nipping at it, making it tighten even more. He groaned to remember the weight of her breasts in his hands, the way they filled his hands to overflowing, god but he loved her breasts!

"Oh EJ," she groaned helplessly, "I'm so wet for you right now!"

"Show me sweetheart," he said unevenly, his heart beating wildly in his chest now, "Show me how wet you are for me but don't stop touching your breast, use both of your hands."

Sami had no choice but to do what he said, utterly under his power now as though he was there himself doing these things to her. She put the phone between her ear and her shoulder, holding it there as she kept one hand on her breast, massaging and tweaking. The other crept lower, over the scrap of satin and lace now pooled at her waist and then disappearing over her mound and between her legs.

"Put your fingers inside you," he said, his voice hoarse now, his hand beginning to pump up and down on his aching rod, feeling himself swell even more in his hand, imagining her on their bed, laid out and pleasuring herself for him.

Sami slipped two fingers inside herself, the wetness there making it so easy. She was hot and slick to the touch and she moaned helplessly.

"If I was there they'd be my fingers inside of you," he said roughly, "I'd be making you ride them, pushing them up as far as I could go inside of you."

"Oh yes EJ!" she sighed, mimicking what he was telling her himself, pushing her fingers deep inside of herself.

It wasn't the same, his fingers were longer and thicker and she added a third finger to try and mimic the sensation and was partially successful but it made her crave his touch even more.

"You feel so good sweetheart," he told her, arching his head back, lost in his fantasy of her, "I'd have to taste you now, I wouldn't be able to stand it any longer. Do that for me sweetheart, taste yourself, tell me what it's like."

Sami withdrew her fingers and returned them to her lips, experiencing her own juices for herself.

"Tell me Samantha," he almost ordered her now, his breathing ragged, picking up his speed with his pumping as he imagined her doing just that.

"It's salty and warm," she groaned, not knowing how to explain it to him.

"Your nectar tastes so good baby," he groaned, arching his back a little now as he tightened his grip on engorged staff, "I can't get enough of it, it gets me so hard!"

"Are you hard now?" she asked him breathlessly, picturing his magnificent member, remembering how it felt to watch it swell and stiffen under her care, have it pressed up against her and pushing it's way into her body, making her strain to take all of him.

"So hard Samantha!" he grimaced, "I'm so hard for you right now I can't stand it!"

"I want you inside of me!" she gasped, "EJ please!"

"Turn over," he grunted, feeling the beads of sweat starting to run down his body as he laboured away, "On your knees Samantha, I want to have you like that right now."

Sami shuddered at the demand in his voice and scrambled to obey, turning over and pulling her knees up while she lay her head down on the bed, holding the phone to her ear, her backside up in the air, fully exposed.

"Are you doing it?" he asked her, his voice becoming increasingly strained now as he fought to stay in control and bring her to completion before he completely lost it.

"Yes," she gasped.

EJ groaned loudly, squeezing his eyes together tightly and picturing her perfect ass up high in the air, ready for him.

"Put your hands between your legs," he rasped, "Find your nub, make yourself come for me sweetheart!"

Sami widened her legs a little and did as he ordered, her finger finding the sensitive peak easily because it was already so swollen. She pulled on it first a couple of times but then need the harder friction, beginning to rub on it almost roughly, missing the feeling of his manhood pounding forcefully away inside of her to bring herself to completion.

"EJ!" she moaned, feeling her hips beginning to thrust back of their own accord, finding that age old rhythm as she drove her body to find some relief.

"I want you to come loudly for me Samantha!" he grunted, his own body racing towards it end, his hand pumping frantically away on his shaft, feeling his balls start to tighten now and knew he didn't have long to go.

"Oh EJ!" she sobbed, "It feels so good, I'm so wet, I'm ready for you to come in me, please come!"

"More!" he howled all reason starting to leave him now, "More sweetheart!"

"Now please!" she moaned, "Go harder, I need you deep inside of me, take me baby, make me scream for it!"

"OH YES!" he hissed, "That's it, that's my girl!"

"Oh, oh… ahh… oh god… oh god EJ… ooohhh!"

Sami gave a choked scream then as she came, her hips no longer under her control as they pumped up and down wildly as she tried to keep her finger on her nub, riding the orgasm out for as long as possible. EJ listened to the sounds of her climax and pictured her pale backside presented to him and himself embedded deep inside of her, feeling her walls contracting over and over and all around him and he was done.

"Samantha!" he howled her name as his body released itself all over him, his heels digging into the bed as his backside lifted off the bed, his body convulsing violently, "Oh god, oh god, oh god!!"

The two of them collapsed on their respective beds in endorphin soaked heaps of sated relief. EJ tried to come to his senses, reaching for the tissues on the bedside table, shakily cleaning himself up. Sami for her part rolled onto her side squeezing her legs together for a last little fissure of pleasure before flopping onto her back and looking rather dazedly up at the ceiling.

"Wow," she managed breathlessly after a minute or two, "Wow."

"Wow indeed," he agreed raggedly.

"That was…" Sami trailed off, trying to find the right word, "… Wow!"

EJ wiped the sweat from his eyes, his hair damp from the same, sticking to his forehead a little.

"I can't believe you got me to do that!" she half groaned, half laughed, feeling a little embarrassed now.

"I can't believe it either," he chuckled, "But I'm so glad I did."

"Me too," she admitted and blushed even as she did.

"Are you blushing?" he asked her in gentle amusement, knowing her so well by now.

"Yes," she admitted with a laughing sigh.

"My little innocent girl," he teased her affectionately, "First time?"

"Yes!" she said, "Why, wasn't it yours?"

"It was the first time I really enjoyed it," he told her honestly, a smile on his face now.

"Man whore," she complained to him but not sounding particularly upset.

"So I've had a little experience," he shrugged, "It was all for you sweetheart."

Sami rolled her eyes at that.

"Do you really think that line is going to save you?" she asked him wryly.

"The only thing that can and has saved me is you," he told her affectionately.

"Oh my god but you're sappy after sex," she laughed at him.

"Would you prefer me just to roll over and fall asleep?" he teased her.

"I wouldn't mind if you were in bed with me right now," she sighed, the bed suddenly feeling very empty now.

"I miss you sweetheart," he said softly, "I'll be home soon."

"I know," she said and sighed again.

"So are you kids done now or what, I need to use the phone."

The sudden sound of John's voice in her ear made Sami scream, throwing the phone onto the bed and recoiling from it in horror.

OH. MY. GOD!!!!!

Sami stared wide eyed at the phone as though it was the devil itself and then realised that she hadn't hung up yet. She crawled over to it and bashed randomly at it, not wanting to pick it up again for some incoherent reason. Finally the light went off and she knew she must have hit the right button at last. Sami just sat there then for a long moment, frozen in place.

Oh my god! John had been listening to them having phone sex!! How long exactly had he been there… a minute… two… longer???!!! It was just too horrible to think about! Sami whimpered and pulled the sheets up over her head, knowing it was no answer to what had happened but it was all that she could think of at the time.

She was never going to leave this room again… _EVER_!!

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ grimaced and looked at the phone in his hand.

Well this was an… unfortunate… turn of events to be sure.

He was not going to be returning home to a happy camper now that was certain. EJ dialled Sami's cell phone number this time and waited for her to pick up. This was going to take some fancy talking on his part to calm her down after this… she was probably out on their bedroom window ledge even now.

Tricky, very tricky… EJ was hoping something inspired would come to him to help sooth Sami.

"EJ," she said tightly, finally picking up, the panic in her voice obvious.

"So sweetheart," he said brightly, "Ready to go again?"

"OH!" said Sami and then there was the sound of her hanging up in his ear.

Okay then, apparently humour wasn't going to be the best way to diffuse the situation… duly noted.

EJ sighed and dialed her cell phone again… looks like it was going to be a long night… and not in the good way anymore thanks to his uncle!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter TWO**

Sami cocked her head at the top of the stairs and hearing the front door close and blew out a relieved sigh. She'd been hiding upstairs with the twins all morning, avoiding John, she'd even fed them in their room so she didn't have to look him in the eye. Sami felt herself go bright red again as she remembered the events of last night. EJ had been less than helpful and she suspected that he'd found the whole thing vaguely amusing whilst Sami wanted to enter the witness protection program and be given a whole new identity!

Honestly, how could EJ _not_ be embarrassed by what happened last night - what was wrong with the man??!

Whatever - he was going to be home that afternoon and Sami was just going to work on avoiding John until she at least had some back up with facing him for the first time. Sami walked down the stairs, feeling herself begin to relax. John would probably be gone for the day now so she could just get on with things and not be on edge that she was going to round a corner any minute and find the man that had overheard her and EJ having sex on the phone last night!

EJ had tried to reassure her that he was sure that John had just picked up the phone but Sami wasn't convinced, her luck just wasn't that good. She shook her head then, remembering her mortification when everyone had seen the scratches on EJ's back the first time they'd really made love… and she'd thought that was a bad as it could get! How wrong could you be?! Sami started towards the living room now, baby monitor in hand as she went to get them a drink each. She should probably have brought them downstairs now the coast was clear but they were happy enough where they were so she let them be for the time being.

Sami looked up then and through the crack in the partially open door she saw a flash of black and froze, realising to her horror that John was still there. She didn't know who she'd heard leaving but apparently it wasn't John. He was picking up his car keys, obviously on his way out now which meant he was going to come out into the hall where Sami was rooted to the spot. Sami panicked, knowing she wasn't ready to deal with him yet and also knowing there was no way she'd be able to get back up the stairs before he walked out into the hall. So in her horror she did the one thing she could think of and bolted into the foyer closet, closing the door behind her as she heard John's footsteps just outside the door now.

Sami leant forward a little, listening hard for the sound of his footsteps walking away and all the while holding her breath. It reminded her of the times she and Eric would play hide and seek as a children - that was an advantage of having a twin, you always had someone your same age to play with. But she always used to get so anxious, the anticipation of being found out at any minute killing her. Sami couldn't hear John's footsteps anymore and wondered where he was, the rug in the foyer possibly dampening the sound.

She was so intent on listening she almost screamed out loud when the door suddenly opened and John was standing there. They stared at each other silently, her wide eyed and horrified and him typically blank. John blinked once, then twice and then calmly reached out for his coat that was hanging beside her in the closet and without a single word or changing his facial expression at all John simply closed the closet door again. Sami could hear the door being open and then closed again and knew now that he was actually gone now.

_Oh my god! _

Sami covered her face with her hands and made a pained face. Was there _no_ end to the way she was going to embarrass herself in front of this man?!!

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ walked in through the front door of the DiMera mansion later on that day, a little disappointed not to find Sami waiting for him there after what his previous homecoming greeting had been like but not exactly surprised. He didn't seem to have been able to calm her down very much last night and he suspected that he had one of 'those' conversations waiting for him but didn't really care. As long as he could see and touch Sami, be in the same room with her it didn't matter what they were doing. Although a little 'welcome home EJ' time wouldn't go astray but he didn't know what his chances were after last night and Uncle John.

EJ hurried up the stairs, suitcase in hand and immediately went to check on the twins. He knew they should be having a nap right about now but didn't care, he just wanted to see them. He walked up between their two cots and smiled down at the gorgeousness that were his children.

"Daddy's home my darlings," he whispered to them tenderly.

They looked so angelic fast asleep, their little faces relaxed in sleep and EJ couldn't help himself, reaching down and lightly stroking their heads in turn, just needing to have touched them after two days apart from them. They didn't even stir which EJ had to admit to feeling a bit disappointed about but let them be.

Next stop was the bedroom to drop off his suitcase quickly and a quick scout told him Samantha wasn't there either so he headed back downstairs, through the living room and into the kitchen where he found John, calmly eating a sandwich by himself.

"Hello Uncle John," said EJ evenly.

"Nephew," acknowledged John and went back to his sandwich.

"Have you seen Samantha?" he asked.

"Yes," said John simply, "Repeatedly."

EJ grimaced, getting used to his uncle's ways by now.

"Have you seen Samantha recently?" he clarified the question.

"Sure," said John, "She seemed on edge - you know, more than usual."

"Yes well," sighed EJ.

"Something you said to her last night perhaps?" asked John straight faced, "Maybe you should work on your phone manner because it doesn't seem to be making her happy."

"Thank you for the advice Uncle John," said EJ with a grimace and shaking his head.

"Not that I'd know what your phone manner is like of course," continued on John casually, "Seeing as I had just picked up the phone before I said anything."

"Oh," said EJ and the two men shared a silent moment and EJ was grateful for John's round about way of reassuring him.

"So do you know where Samantha might be right now Uncle?" asked EJ, relieved to have that little conversation, if you could call it that, out of the way.

"Have you tried the closet?" asked John straight faced, returning to his sandwich.

EJ just gave him a weird look and gave up, continuing his search for Sami himself. After ten minutes and still not being able to find her he was becoming vaguely concerned. He knew she wouldn't be far away, at least within the range of the baby monitor which wasn't that wide a distance. EJ stood in the foyer and frowned and then looked over at the hall closet. He looked around himself, feeling a little foolish but then opened the door but the only thing inside was coats, hats and two umbrellas. EJ shook his head at himself- what was he doing? John was getting him to act as crazy as he was now!

EJ finally ended up back in their bedroom, a bit confused. As a final resort he went into the bathroom and found her sitting on the down turned seat of the toilet, the baby monitor clutched between her hands. She looked up as he entered but no made no other movement.

"Samantha," said EJ, immediately concerned and hurrying over to her, putting a hand on her back, "Are you alright sweetheart? What's wrong?"

Sami just stared back up at him for a long moment.

"What's wrong?" she repeated and then more loudly, "What's wrong?! Are you _kidding_ me?! After last night you can ask me that question?!"

"Oh," said EJ, giving a relieved sigh, "Is that all. You had be worried there for a moment darling."

EJ smiled then and sat down on the edge of the bath tub beside her, loosening his tie while she just stared at him in horror.

"Is that all?!" she squawked, "EJ!"

"I talked to Uncle John about it," he began casually, pulling his tie off.

"You spoked to John about it?" squeaked Sami in abject horror now.

"Sweetheart," said EJ with great affection, "If you keep on repeating everything I say all the time this conversation is going to take a very long time indeed."

"How can you be so flippant about this?" she asked him accusingly, "What is wrong with you?"

"First of all let me just finish what I was trying to say," said EJ calmly, "John had just picked up the phone, he didn't hear… you know… the other stuff."

"But he knew what we were doing!" she exclaimed, only slightly mollified by his words.

"Well yes," admitted EJ, "I think that you're reasonably safe to assume that."

"We have to move!" said Sami dramatically.

"Darling you say that every time someone overhears us or walks in on us in this house," he said patiently, "I think you maybe over reacting just a tad don't you?"

"It happens all the time!" she exclaimed.

"Yes well," smiled EJ leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees so his face was in line with hers as she sat there, "We _do_ have a lot of sex my dear - the odds are pretty good."

"Well no more!" she announced emphatically, not to be distracted by that smouldering look in his eye, "No more sex in this house - ever!"

"Whoa there!" said EJ, sounding mildly horrified, "Let's not go crazy here."

"I mean it EJ," she warned him, "I can't have sex ever again in this house."

"There is no way we can hold out with not having sex," said EJ ever practical, "Neither one of us has been able to keep our hands off each other for more than a day or two."

"We'll still have sex," protested Sami, "We'll just… I don't know, go to a hotel or something."

"You want us to go to a hotel every time we want to have sex?" asked EJ sceptically.

"That's right!" said Sami imperiously.

"I'm going to have to get a second job just to pay for the hotel bills," pondered EJ straight faced.

"Don't care," she said sharply, "No more sex in this house! Alright?"

"Well," said EJ, sitting back on the edge of the bathroom tub and crossing his arms in front of his chest seeming to consider this seriously, "Alright then, sure."

"Really?" said Sami in surprise, she'd kind of figured he'd be harder to convince for some reason.

"If that will make you happy sweetheart then of course," he smiled at her, "I'm all about making you happy."

"Well good then," she said a little uncertainly, "That's settled then."

"I do just have one little point I'd like clarified though if that's alright darling?" he said calmly.

"Um… okay," she said, "What's that?"

"Well no sex in this house," he said, "I understand that but what about other stuff?"

"Other stuff?" she repeated.

"Yes you know…" he prompted her suddenly standing and bending down to pick her up, depositing her on the bathroom vanity, next to the basin.

"EJ?" she said, eyeing him suspiciously now, "What are you doing?"

"Just clarifying a couple of points - it's what I do, I'm a lawyer you know?" he told her and then pursed his lips, "How about I wanted to steal a kiss from my wife like this…"

EJ pressed a depressingly short kiss to her lips and then looked at her enquiringly.

"Would that be allowed in this house or would we have to get a hotel room?" he asked her, perfectly serious.

"No," she said, rolling her eyes at him, "A kiss is allowed."

"Interesting," he pondered, "Well what about a longer kiss… like this for instance…"

EJ dipped his head and captured her lips in a hard kiss, his tongue quickly taking possession of her mouth, tasting her deeply, only pulling away when they were both breathless.

"I suppose that is allowed," she said a little unevenly, her face flushed now, realising now how much she'd missed his touch in the last two days.

"Good to know," he said huskily, "And what if I want to do this…?"

EJ pushed her legs apart as she sat on the counter top and settled himself between them, moving in close to nuzzle at the soft skin of her neck.

"That's okay," she said weakly, "There's no harm in that I suppose."

EJ teased his way along her jaw line with his nose, his breath hot on her neck now. Sami bit her lip, feeling her resolve weakening - what was it about this man that she seemed to have no self control with?

"What if I want to…?" he trailed off, licking his way down her neck and chest until he was at the valley between her breasts, showed off very amply with her low cut blouse.

"EJ," she sighed, feeling his tongue delving into her cleavage, licking and lapping away at the soft skin.

"And this…?" he said unevenly, lifting his head so he could look her in the eye as his hands cupped both of her breasts through her clothes, squeezing them rhythmically, "Am I allowed to do this?"

"Oh yes," she murmured, feeling herself falling under his spell, helpless to refuse him.

EJ ducked his head down to nibble on her neck again, massaging her breasts with ever growing firmness. God but he missed touching her, she was like a drug to him. If he couldn't touch her for a while, couldn't feel her softness under his hands he'd begin to shake and slowly start to lose his mind.

"I want you Samantha," he rasped, all teasing gone from his voice now, "Please."

"Yes," she breathed, "I want you too EJ, please, I've missed you so much."

He kissed her one last time before pushing her back on the counter a little and pushing up her skirt, pulling aside her panties and bending down to feast upon her exotic spiciness. Sami looked down at his dark head between her legs, worshipping her body and groaned loudly. She grabbed his head in both hands, digging her fingers into his scalp and held him there. It was so much better when it was him doing this to her and even though she'd enjoyed last night there was no comparison to what he was currently doing to her.

"I can't stand it EJ!" she moaned helplessly, "More, I want you inside me NOW!"

It was all he needed to hear. EJ straightened up, freeing his straining erection from his pants, desperate for her now. He pulled aside the satin of her panties again and plunged inside of her, unable to restrain himself any longer. Sami gasped at the experience of him entering her so fiercely - she never tired of it, that first sensation of her body taking his inside of her.

"Samantha!" he moaned, thrusting hard into her already.

The ache that hadn't been fully sated last night now bursting into full life now, making him incapable of going slowly. He was starving for her, always needing more of her. EJ hooked her legs up over his arms and grabbing her backside as he did, driving himself even deeper into her. Sami couldn't stand it, coming immediately for him and he was undone, exploding inside of her even as she moaned helplessly against him.

"Oh god Samantha," he said shakily, his body still giving little shudders as he dropped her legs back down, resting his forehead against hers now.

"Mm," she sighed happily, "So good."

She kissed him then, slowly, thoroughly and he returned it, their initial lust for one another sated but they both still needed more. While he kissed her Sami's hands went to his coat jacket, easing it off his shoulders and he shrugged out of it, carelessly letting it fall onto the ground. The buttons of his dress shirt was next, she undid each one while they continued the kiss and he remained embedded deeply inside of her.

EJ was busy too, using one foot and then the other to help step out of his shoes and push his pants down further until he could step out of them as well and then came the socks, never breaking the kiss the whole time. Next he worked on Sami, undoing her buttons and helping her out of it before his hands went immediately to her bra, releasing her from it's confines, next came the skirt, over her head and finally she was just left in her panties. EJ hooked a couple of fingers into the delicate scraps of material and tugged hard, ripping them from her body, not willing to lose his place inside of her to dispose of them any other way.

"You're so hard on my underwear," she groaned the complaint against his lips.

"Stop wearing it then," he told her roughly, "Problem solved."

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" she purred the question to him, linking her arms around his neck and giving him a teasingly seductive look.

"I'd _love_ that," he corrected her impishly, his voice husky as he pulled her closer to him, his hands on her butt cheeks.

EJ tightened his grasp on her ass, picking her up off the counter and walking with her, still impaled on his rapidly hardening shaft, into the bedroom. He laid her crossways along the bed, his body on top of hers. He began to move inside of her and she arched her back, revelling in this man's stamina.

Sami had always been slightly embarrassed by the level of her sex drive, thinking of it as her secret shame some how and hiding it from the men she'd been with. It made her feel like some kind of fallen woman but with EJ it was completely different. He matched her encounter for encounter. She'd never been with anyone with such a high libido that mirrored her own. It made her feel wild and free to know he wanted her as much as she wanted him, as many times as she wanted him. He was always ready for her and like everything to do with this man it was a revelation to Sami.

"I love you," she said helplessly, thrilling to each of his hard thrusts, pushing herself up to met each one, making him penetrate her ever deeper.

"Samantha!" he moaned, loving to hear her say those words to him.

Her full breasts were pressed against, her nipples scrapping across his chest, her body clenching tightly around him and he was in heaven. He last for a long time inside of her, prolonging both of their's pleasure, almost to the point of pain until in the end she was begging for him to end it for her.

"Please!" she pleaded with him, her nails raking his back and her eyes tightly closed against the pleasure, "EJ let me come, oh god please, let me come!"

"Look at me!" he ordered her, the sweat dripping off him and down onto her and stinging his eyes but he didn't care, "Look Samantha, tell me when you're there!"

He picked up his speed, hammering himself into her now and she was almost beside herself from the pleasure of it all as he varied his angles of penetration, finding new ways to delight her with his swollen thickness.

"Close," she mumbled incoherently, throwing her head from side to side now as the tension built in her body, "So close EJ, don't stop!"

"I can't!" he grunted, his body taking over completely now and the only sound in the room now was the sound of her body accepting his over and over again and their combined ragged breaths and gasping grunts.

EJ came first this time, his hips pumping frantically as he spurt his seed into her, working to make her take it all. Sami watched his face screw up from the intense joy of it all, loving his come face so much - it was just so beautiful. She had no choice but to join him now, screaming his name just as he'd howled hers at the exact moment he'd ejaculated into her and she'd felt him shoot his essences into her, making her feel like the sexiest woman on the planet in that moment.

EJ's weight was heavy on her as he lay gasping for breath on top of her and she didn't want him to move but she couldn't breath. Sami wiggled a little under him which set another little stab of pleasure through him but he realised he must have been crushing her and ever so reluctantly with drew from her and rolled to one side. He'd been inside her now for so long after that marathon session that it felt completely hollow without him there and she mourned the loss, already craving their next union - she really was insatiable when it came to him. EJ rolled onto his side, propping his head up with a hand and looking down at her lovingly.

"You are so very beautiful," he praised her, his voice still rough from his spent passion.

EJ loved seeing her like this, all glowing and pink from their lovemaking, he could never get enough of her. He reached out a hand and trailed his fingers over her lips that were still a little swollen from his kisses, trailing them down her neck to her collar bone and tracing it's delicate shape before carrying on, drifting lower, between the valley of her breasts and lower still. Sami squirmed a little under his light touch, her skin tingling where ever he touched. EJ drew imaginary patterns on her flat stomach and felt her muscles contracting a little under his fingertips as he did. He moved lower still, cupping her mound, his thumb running over the top that was covered in soft little crinkly hairs. Sami trembled helplessly at the intimate touch.

"I love coming home to you," he said huskily.

"I know," she said and gave a shaky little teasing laugh, "I noticed that - in fact you came home twice just then."

EJ gave a low laugh, the sound reverberating around in his chest and carrying on through her body as he lay pressed up against her.

"Mm," he said rubbing her mound a little harder now, "And while I do adore… _coming_…"

He inserted two finger inside of her then, moving them around lazily and enjoying the heated wetness that was result of their previous two lovemaking sessions. Sami shuddered and clenched around his fingers to which he gave a little grunt of approval.

"… home to you," he finished of with a mischievous look, "There are no words for how it feels to know that you and the babies are here. My beautiful family all waiting for me - it makes me so happy I can barely stand it sometimes."

"Oh EJ," she sighed up at him, cupping one of his cheeks in her hand and looking up at him tenderly, "You really _are_ a woman after sex aren't you?"

She gave an cheeky laugh then when she saw him give her a feigned look of outraged hurt pride.

"A woman eh?" he asked her mockingly, moving his fingers deeper inside her and placing his thumb on her nub and beginning to stroke it, "Let's see what we can do to dispel that particular myth shall we?"

Sami gasped, biting her lip, already feeling herself wanting to come.

"Oh no you don't," said with a devilish look, feeling her body tighten around his fingers and knowing she was wanting to climax again, "Not so fast young lady, you're going to have to pay for that last comment."

"EJ," she pouted up at him when he removed his hands from inside her, "Please!"

"Oh I will," he smirked knowingly down at her, moving over the top of her now, "But you're just going to have to wait."

He captured her mouth in a teasing kiss, his tongue stroking hers and she settled back into the bed in anticipation of round three.

_Welcome home EJ… welcome home indeed!_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter THREE**

Marlena smiled to see her daughter feeding the twins and quietly mourning the time she'd lost with Sami and Eric when they were that age thanks to Stefano DiMera. It was a strange thing to think that she was now living in the house of a man she'd hated for so long and was married to his half brother all of a sudden. Life certainly could have some interesting twists and turns, that was for certain.

"What are you thinking about Mom?" Sami asked with a curious little frown at seeing the faraway expression on her mother's face.

"Life," said Marlena simply.

"Oh that," said Sami wryly and then she cocked her head quizzically at her, "How are you and John going?"

Marlena paused, thinking how to answer such a complicated question. In so many ways the man she'd known and loved for so many years was still dead to her so there was a deep grief about that. But then there was also this man who looked exactly like her beloved John sleeping just down the hallway from her. He was so different though to the John she remembered; it really did feel as though they were two completely different people who just happened to share the same body. But then there were those moments when he'd look at her a certain way or say something that would remind her of the old John and all of those memories would come flooding back. He'd then ruin it of course and say something inappropriate straightaway afterwards.

It was hard to be around him so often, his odd behaviour notwithstanding, because he looked so much like her old John that she expected him to act like him and it just wasn't happening. Marlena in the beginning had faith that she could just draw him back into being the John she'd once loved by being there for him and trying to help him to regain his memories but it wasn't turning out like that. This new John seemed to be evolving but not into the man she remembered. This new man was kind of dark with none of the tenderness she was used to but despite that she felt a pull towards him, some strange thrall at being around him. She was attracted to this shadowy man full of contradictions and felt like she was betraying her love for the old John because of it. It was very confusing and it wasn't becoming less so the more time she spent with him. The conversation they'd had yesterday only confirming that for her when he'd just tried to kiss her out of the blue.

"_John!" she exclaimed, pushing on his chest and wishing she felt as outraged as she was making out, "What are you doing?"_

"_Don't you know?" he asked, tilting his head to one side as he characteristically took her question at face value._

"_Of course I know," said Marlena a little flustered now and moving determinedly out of his arms and forcing down the little tinge of disappointment that he let her._

"_Then why ask?" he questioned her in confusion._

"_I meant that you can't do that," said Marlena, trying to get things back under control._

"_Why not?" he asked her calmly, "We're married aren't we? Look at the kids, you can't open a door, pick up a phone or head downstairs for a late night snack without getting a ring side ticket to 'EJ does Sami – The Movie.'"_

"_John!" said Marlena in horror, blushing despite herself._

"_What?" he asked her with a shrug, "It's true."_

"_Sami and EJ are married…" she began._

"_My point exactly," interrupted John, "So shall I break out the whipped cream and meet you in your bedroom or what?"_

"_I wasn't finished," said Marlena through clenched teeth, "They're married and in love. And when they do decide to become… intimate I'm certain there is a lot more romance involved then what your last sentence contained. I mean look at EJ's beautiful proposal to Sami the other week. That was so romantic."_

_John considered that for a moment._

"_Well," he said finally, "I don't really want to set another peacock on fire because I like them but I have no problem with breaking any of Rolf's bones… how about a finger – that romantic enough for you because I'd happily do a leg if you want more?"_

_Marlena just stood there, not even knowing where to begin with what he'd just said, it was all just too appalling and the worse thing was she sensed he was really trying now. She just shook her head at him and walked numbly away from him and John watched her go, a perplexed frown on his face._

"_Something I said?" he called after her and she just didn't even turn around, escaping into her bedroom and closing the door loudly behind her._

_John shook his head, left standing alone in the hallway._

"_Woman!" he muttered under his breath, "Can't make up their minds."_

"We've had our moments," Marlena finally said with a strained smile, "I see it as a work in progress."

"I guess," said Sami uncertainly and then saw the expression on her mother's face, "You know Mom, for what it's worth… I do think he really loves you. Well, you know, a John kind of love but still."

"It's complicated Sami," said Marlena with a sad little smile.

"I know," she sighed but then shrugged, "But look at EJ and me. If you look up 'complicated' in the dictionary there is a picture of us."

"But you're happy now?" Marlena asked softly.

"Oh Mom," said Sami, her eyes lighting up and her whole face seeming to glow, "I'm _so_ happy. I didn't know this kind of happiness existed, I truly didn't. EJ makes me so happy I can barely stand it some times. I think I'm going to burst from it."

Marlena smiled to see her daughter so obviously and deliriously in love. It had been a long time coming and Marlena hoped with all of her heart that it would always be like that between them. The twins had been quiet throughout the mother and daughter chat but decided they'd been ignored long enough. Johnny let out a loud, raucous shout which is sister found hysterical, cracking up laughing and the two adults turned their attentions back to the children, the moment passing.

**oooOOOOooo**

Later that afternoon EJ was looking after the twins while Sami went out to do some shopping. They were down having a nap and EJ was doing some paperwork but with the baby monitor nearby. John sat across from him in his favourite chair, quietly reading. It was a calm moment in a house that was usually a little frantic.

"What does 'turgid' mean?" asked John suddenly, breaking the silence.

"Dull, self-important," replied EJ absently, still reading his paperwork, "You know… pompous."

John frowned and looked back at his book, looking a little confused.

"Does it mean anything else?" he asked a bit perplexed.

"It can also mean distended or bloated," EJ replied evenly.

This seemed to satisfy his uncle much more and he went back to his book. EJ gave him a musing look. It was funny what John did and didn't remember sometimes especially when it came to language. It was like he had these little random black spots where he could remember some seemingly obscure thing but be completely blank when it came to other more common things. Or in the case of his problem with a lot of idioms and expressions, remember them only half correctly. Just yesterday EJ had been forced to explain what validated parking meant and yet John had gone on to use the word 'ubiquitous' in a sentence… in a rather disconcerting way but still correctly. It was odd but John seemed less concerned by this ongoing problems then those around him. EJ gave a quiet sigh and went back to his work.

"What does 'tumescent' mean?" John interrupted him again.

"Swollen," said EJ and then frowned at him over the top of his reading glasses, "What _are_ you reading Uncle John?"

John held up the book for him to see.

"The Heaving Heart," EJ squinted to read the title, "A romance novel? _You're_ reading a romance novel Uncle? Why?"

"Well I was talking to Blondie and she told me I don't have the first idea about romance," said John pulling a face, "Apparently she thought what you did for Sami was romantic. Meanwhile I've got a peacock out there who looks like Michael Jackson after a Pepsi commercial and a butler that can't lift anything heavier than a sandwich now for the next three weeks. Who's going to bring in my crates of Scotch now, that's what I want to know?"

"I don't think those parts of the evening that Marlena was thinking of as being the romantic part," said EJ dryly.

"Yeah, that's what she said," said John stoically and then held up the book again, "So I thought I'd do some research. I went into a book store and asked the woman behind the counter about it and she gave me a whole heap of these to read."

"I don't know if that is the best form to get your information about romancing a woman from," said EJ a bit sceptically.

"Why?" asked John looking at him blankly, "Have you ever read one?"

"Well, no, I don't think I'm their target audience really," admitted EJ, "But still…"

"Here," said John, throwing 'The Heaving Heart' to him, "Read this and tell me what you think."

EJ caught the book and looked down at the impossibly square jawed and bare chested man with a blonde woman clinging to him on the cover and looked a little uncertain.

"It won't bite," John informed him, "It's been very helpful for filling in some blanks."

"Blanks?" queried EJ a bit hesitantly, not absolutely sure he wanted to head down this road with his uncle but some perverse part of himself pushing him on.

"Yeah," nodded John without guile, "I can't seem to remember sex."

"Oh," said EJ faintly, "Right, tricky. Well, ah… I'm still don't know if this is your best bet to filling in those… um… blanks Uncle John."

"So you think I should rent some porn?" asked John straight faced, "Is that what you're saying?"

"Definitely not!" said EJ in horror, trying to imagine what Marlena might end up having to deal with if that happened, "Do _not_ do that uncle!"

"Well what are you suggesting then?" asked John blankly.

"Well first of all can I just say I find it exceedingly strange that you can remember that Michael Jackson thing that happened years ago and yet can't remember sex," EJ began.

John shrugged stoically.

"What are you gonna do?" he said, accepting these things as always.

"Indeed," said EJ and knowing he was absolutely going to regret what he was about to say but kind of feeling like he had to say it anyway, "And I guess if you have any… umm… questions about… ahh… well sex… then I'm quite… ah… happy for you to ask me… I suppose."

"Well you certainly sound happy," noted John straight faced.

"Yes well," said EJ, moving a little uncomfortably in his chair, "Obviously this is a bit of an… unusual situation to be in but if you have any questions Uncle, I will do my best to answer them."

John pursed his lips then, considering what EJ had just said.

"Can I think about it for a bit?" he asked him, "Work out what I want to ask?"

"Of course," said EJ calmly, a sinking feeling in his stomach that he'd just made a terrible mistake.

_Marlena had better be appreciative of the sacrifice he was making here in her name. This had to make up for seeing her naked that time… surely!_

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ sat propped up in bed later that night, the sound of Sami's shower running in the background but he barely noticed. He turned the page of the book John had given him and continued to read, an eyebrow shooting up as he read the next paragraph.

"Oh my god," he muttered, pushing up the glasses that had slid down his nose a little, "This is pornographic!"

He'd had no idea that this was what women were reading in these books. Like most men he'd just assumed that it was romantic pap to set their hearts a racing but EJ felt his own heart start to pitter patter a bit with the what he was reading right now.

"What are you doing?"

The sound of Sami's voice suddenly there startled him, not having even heard the shower stop because he'd become too engrossed in Miranda and Rick's latest love tryst. EJ reflexively shoved the book under his arm and smiled up at her.

"Nothing," he said, looking anything but convincing.

"Nothing?" she repeated disbelievingly, "What are you hiding there?"

"It's just a boring old law book I've got to read for work," he lied and tried to make it sound like it wasn't.

"Law book?" said Sami sceptically and then made a sudden lunge for it, catching him off guard.

Sami managed to wrench the book from his hand and looked down at it and the picture of the woman with her arms wrapped around the semi naked man on the cover and then looked back at EJ with a smirk on her face.

"I see they're illustrating law books nowadays," she noted straight faced.

EJ rolled his eyes and sat up straighter against the cushions in the bed.

"It's not what it looks like," he protested, looking at her over the top of his glasses a little sheepishly.

"It looks like you're reading girly smut in our bed," she teased him.

"I'm just doing it for a friend," said EJ and then realised that sounded ridiculous.

"Really?" she challenged him, "Which friend?"

"I'm sorry Samantha," he said sounding very proper, "But that's client/lawyer confidentiality there you're wanting me to break."

Sami snorted rather inelegantly.

"So is this what you do all day?" she asked him wryly, "Go to work and read romance novels?"

"Of course not," he protested and then gave her a funny look, "Samantha, have you ever read one of these book before?"

"Sure," she shrugged, "When I was younger."

"They're very…" EJ trailed off, trying to find the right word, "… explicit, aren't they?"

"Have your fine English sensibilities been shocked by that?" she laughed at him, "All a bit too much for you is it, need a bit of a lie down now?"

"I'm not so much as shocked as…" EJ looked up at her then and gave her a mischievous smile, "… intrigued."

"Is that right?" mused Sami and looked back down at "The Heaving Heart", "Well let's see what's got you so… intrigued shall we?"

The way she'd grabbed the book, it was still open on the page he'd been reading and she quickly skimmed a couple of paragraphs and then looked up at him with a knowingly.

"I see," she said calmly, "Interesting."

Sami climbed onto the bed, straddling his legs as he sat up in bed and gave him an impish look and started to read.

"_Miranda looked at Rick and thought he was the most beautiful man she'd ever seen."_

Sami looked up from the book and ran her eyes slowly all over EJ's muscled upper body admiringly, clothed only in his usual black tank top and then onto his face, lingering a little longer than necessary on his lips which were upturned in a little smile of anticipation now.

"Check," she said cheekily and then went back to the book.

"_She stretched up and kissed him, knowing she was being forward but not caring."_

Sami stopped reading again and leant forward, reaching on either side of his head for the bed head behind him and grabbing hold of it.

"_His tongue quickly pressed for entrance into her own and she could do nothing but allow it, wanting to taste him again."_

Sami closed the distance between them, their lips meeting and she immediately felt EJ's tongue in her mouth, feasting on her hungrily. She rubbed her breasts against his chest as he did, making him groan and then she felt his hands go to the tops of her legs as she still straddled him and broke the kiss. They looked at each other, their combined breath uneven and practically nose to nose, she saw the lust in his eyes and knew hers held the same look of desperate need. She sat back a little and brought the book back up to start reading again, this time a little breathlessly.

"_He tasted of spicy warmth and heady maleness and it made her want more of him…"_

EJ began to knead the top of her thighs now between his strong fingers, watching and listening transfixed as she read on.

"_His hands went to her clothing and she knew she should protest but she couldn't bring herself to, wanting his hands on her body… wanting him. His hand sought out her core, needing to bring her pleasure and she trembled at his first intimate touch through her panties."_

Sami looked at him then, a slow sexy smile spreading across her face. With her free hand she pulled at the hem of her skirt to reveal the fact that she actually had no underwear on and EJ gave an excited groan at the sight.

"I didn't bother," she purred, "Hope you don't mind."

EJ just gave her a wicked look and moved one of his hands higher and she sat up a little, allowing him access to the wet heat between her legs more easily. EJ stroked her slick folds and Sami attempted to remember how to read and continue on.

"_Miranda felt a fresh wetness gush out of her body as he touched her, a throb starting low in her body. She felt his answering arousal pressed against her stomach…"_

Sami looked down at the front of his sweat pants and saw the large bulge in the front of them and gave a little laugh.

"Right on cue," she teased him and he gave an answering grin.

Sami's eager hand freed him from the confines of his pants and bit her lip to see his magnificent manhood at full attention and clearly wanting her. She felt herself go a little weak, temporarily forgetting their little game as she fantasised about being impaled on that thick staff again and gave a little whimper. EJ saw how she was looking at him so hungrily and his manhood jerked at the sight of it.

"I think we can take it from here," he said hoarsely, taking the book from her hand and throwing it across the room.

Sami nodded dazedly, the blood pounding around her body and the throb between her legs so painful she wanted to scream. EJ hastily wiggled about so that he managed to get his pants completely off, kicking them to one side. He pulled his shirt off over his head and went to remove his glasses but she stalled him.

"Leave them on," she ordered him throatily, always having found him to be particularly cute in glasses.

EJ arched a playful eyebrow at her but did as she said, his hands now at the hem of her silky nightie, pulling it up over her head in one quick motion until she was above him, as naked as he was.

"Oh god!" he grunted to see her naked breasts, never failing to be thrilled by them as he grabbed a full orb in one hand and latched on hungrily to the other.

He sucked on her nipple hard before biting and pulling on it with his teeth. His other hand tweaked and pulled on her other nipple, wringing delighted gasps from her lips. Sami groaned approvingly, feeling her centre begin to pulsate from his ministrations, a small spasm shaking her body as he bought her to a mini climax with just his hands and mouth on her breasts. EJ felt her whimpering climax and marvelled at this gloriously sexy woman who made her want her more and more every second they were together.

Sami reached between their bodies as she was still kneeling over the top of him and found his swollen length, feeling it twitch helplessly as she wrapped her hand around it and begin to pump it vigorously. EJ threw his head back and groaned loudly.

"Sweetheart no!" he protested despairingly, grabbing for her wrist to stop her, "Don't, I won't be able to last!"

Sami shook his hand free and grabbed his head between both of her hands, guiding his mouth to her other breast.

"Keep going!" she ordered him breathlessly, wanting to be in control now.

EJ moaned but obeyed, beginning to suckle at her other breasts and Sami threw her head back, thrilling at the power she had over him. She reached down between their bodies again and took hold of his shaft, feeling how it had swelled even more and wondering how she was ever going to get him to fit inside of her and trembling at how wonderful it was going to be to find out. She moved her hips back and forth, deliberately brushing her now slippery folds over the top of his purple tip.

EJ moaned repeatedly, grunting his excitement helplessly around the mouthful of breast that he was dutifully servicing for her, very frightened now that he was about to come before he even managed to get inside of her if she didn't stop. She suddenly tightened her hold on him and then to his enormous relief she was lowering herself down on top of him all of a sudden, feeding him into her body. EJ howled and threw himself backwards onto the bed, his hands reaching desperately above him to grab hold of the bed head, his knuckles going white as he held on for dear life, willing himself not to lose it right there and then. He tried to think unsexy thoughts but she really wasn't helping any.

"Oh god EJ you're so big! I can't stand it… oh… ahh…I can barely take you! Oh god it hurts so good!"

EJ's eyes rolled back in this head, the muscled cords of his neck standing out as he arched his back.

"Don't come yet!" she pleaded with him desperately, wanting to be able to ride his hardness for a little longer.

"Shit!" swore EJ loudly, digging his heels into the mattress as she began to move up and down on him, grabbing on so tightly to the bed head now that it was quite possible it was going to snap off in his hands.

The sweat poured off his body, every muscle in his body straining as he fought for control of himself. She was killing him and god but did he love it! He prayed that she would find her release quickly because he really didn't think he could hold on much longer and his prayers were answered as she began to moan loudly, her hands on his chest now as her hips pumped up and down frantically on him.

"Yes!" he moaned his encouragement to her, feeling her begin to shudder and clench around him, "That's it!"

"E…EJ… EJ!" she cried out at her end and he at last allowed himself his own release.

EJ finally let go of the bed head and grabbed her hips with both hands, holding her tightly in place as his body took it's turn, shooting it's hot stickiness into her waiting heat, howling her name. Sami sobbed her pleasure at the sensation for him which made him come again and she collapsed on his chest, waiting until he was done with her, loving the feel of him releasing into her and the way her body was milking the last of his goodness from his body.

"Bloody hell," said EJ raggedly at last, moving his hands from her hips to encircle her waist and hug her to him tightly.

"Mmm," she said happily wiggling on him a bit which they both enjoyed.

She then lifting her head from his sweat soaked chest, her own body glowing and slick from the same. Sami looked down at his face with a kind of amazed but gleeful expression on his face. He was still wearing his glasses rather amazingly but they were completely fogged up now and she giggled, pulling them of his sweaty face and placing them on the bed stand beside them.

"It's true what they say," said EJ with a devilish smile when she was back over the top of him, her hands on top of each other and her chin resting on it so she could look him in the eye, "Reading _is_ good for you."

He laughed then and the sound came from deep inside his chest, vibrating against hers as she lay there on top of him, that more than anything making her laugh as well. The grinned at each other, enjoying the afterglow of their lovemaking and each other.

Life didn't get much better than this, that was for certain.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter FOUR**

A few days later Sami awoke in the morning to feel the warmth of her husband's body pressed against the length of her back and smiled without opening her eyes. She snuggled back into him and felt the arm he'd thrown over her waist tighten his hold on her, telling her he was awake now as well. EJ pressed a kiss to her shoulder from where he was behind her and she sighed happily. He moved one of his long legs between hers as they both lay there on their sides and Sami was able to feel that they weren't the only ones that were up.

Her smile widened and she wiggled her backside against his erection that she could feel back there. He always woke up like this and she loved it, made her feel so sexy. Her little ban on sex in the house had proved totally impossible to enforce as it turned out and she was as much to blame as he was. They were both completely rampant and there was nothing to do but to sit back and enjoy it and deal with the inevitable embarrassing situations as they arose. Let's face it… it was totally worth it!

EJ's hand moved to cup a breast then, massaging it gently now and her body began to tighten in anticipation of what was coming next. She loved these lazy, half asleep encounters they had in the mornings. Beginning slowly but ending with muscle shaking orgasms that put a smile on her face for the rest of the day.

"Ready for me?" he growled the question softly in her ear, making her tremble.

"Oh yes," she sighed, feeling the wetness already soaking her thighs, "So much."

His hand left her breast and trailed along her hip and down to between her legs, wanting to feel for himself.

"Samantha!" he grunted excitedly, quickly feeling his hand becoming covered in her sticky goodness.

EJ pushed her leg further forward now and grabbed her hip, a sudden urgency to his movements. Sami bit her lip to feel him feeding his thickly distended hardness into her and grabbed a nearby pillow, burying her face into it and giving a muffled groan. Once completely sheathed in her EJ pulled out, almost all the way before plunging himself back into her waiting heat. They both groaned then, his hand returning to her breast to now and massaging it urgently now, his tempo quickly building inside of her.

"MAMA… MAAAMMAA!"

Johnny's loud cry broke the silence of the room over the baby monitor and both of the adults moaned loudly then.

"Johnny!" said Sami with a half complaining, half resigned groan.

EJ had slowed his thrusts inside of her but hadn't stopped completely.

"Maybe he'll settle himself," offered up EJ in vain hope still moving inside her determinedly.

To that Johnny's cries only got louder and they both groaned again and EJ gave up, sagging against her in dejected resignation.

"Guess again," sighed Sami and reached out and playfully nudged his thigh behind her, "Play times over big boy."

EJ made a deeply unhappy noise, pulling ever so reluctantly out of her and rolling onto his back, a picture of frustration.

"They said parenting would be hard," he pouted, "But no one ever said it would be this hard."

Sami rolled over to see his extremely impressive member standing at full attention as he lay there and couldn't help but giggle.

"Come on EJ," she teased him, "You can't complain - you got your fair share last night - in fact some might say more than your fair share."

"But that was hours ago!" protested EJ unhappily.

Johnny's cries were almost deafening now and EJ shook his head, going to sit up.

"I'll go," he sighed.

"I don't think so," laughed Sami, getting out of bed and slipping her rob on, "You're in no fit state to be going anywhere at the moment. You'll give the children nightmares!"

EJ looked ruefully down at his rampant hard on that wasn't going anywhere in a hurry and had to agree with her.

"Just lie there and think unsexy thoughts," she grinned at him, knotting the ties of her robe as she walked towards the door, "Doing tax returns or something."

Nearly ten minutes later Sami returned to find her husband in the exact same position… and state she'd left him in.

"I thought you were going to think about tax returns?" she said laughingly, coming to stand beside him as he lay stretched out in all of his male glory on the bed, eyes tightly closed.

"I am," he said and then opened one eye and gave her a wicked look, "We're doing them together… naked."

EJ wiggled his eyebrows at her, giving her a sexy look which only made her laugh harder.

"Well the twins are up for the day sunshine…" began Sami with a smile.

"I know how they feel," muttered EJ and pouted.

"So we're just going to have to finish… our tax returns… some other time I'm afraid," she said and gave him a knowing look, "And I think a cold shower is in order for you mister."

"I suppose," he sighed, propping himself up rather painfully on his elbows, "So…"

EJ trailed off and looked her up and down teasingly.

"Care to come and scrub my back for me Mrs DiMera?" he asked and then gave her a particularly lecherous look, "… or even my front perhaps?"

Sami seemed to consider this and leant down over him as he sat propped up on the bed, holding his gaze sexily before leaning even closer and whispering huskily into his ear.

"John in a thong and push up bra."

EJ recoiled from her throaty words and looked at her in abject terror which made her break into peals of laugher.

"Uncalled for!" he said in horror, trying desperately not to picture what she'd just said in his mind eyes.

"Just trying to help," she said cheekily and escaped into the bathroom before he could exact his revenge.

**oooOOOOooo**

Later that morning Sami had the twins at her feet, playing happily when suddenly Nicole appeared in the door way and made a triumphant flourish her arms out stretched as though she was accepting a standing ovation, EJ coming in just behind her.

"Guess what you're looking at!" she said dramatically, her voice so loud that both of the twins started at the sound.

Sami smirked and opened her mouth to answer her but EJ pre-empted her quickly.

"Our children are in the room sweetheart," he reminded her, shooting her a warning look while pressing an affectionate kiss to her lips and then gave her backside a playful swipe as he went to greet the twins, "Play nice."

Sami sighed and rolled her eyes, there was a golden opportunity dashed that was going to come again quickly. EJ crouched down beside Ali and Johnny who were clambering over each other to get to him, squealing excitedly at seeing their Daddy.

"Your husband is brilliant!" she announced to the room, "You are looking at the newly ex-Mrs Victor Kiriarkis - a man who not only lost a total hottie today but a sizeable chunk of his fortune."

"He _is_ brilliant isn't he?" said Sami proudly, smiling at him and quirking an eyebrow, "Amongst other things."

"Ladies," he protested, sitting on the floor with the twins now as they jumped all over him, uncaring of his expensive suit, "You'll make me blush."

"_Nothing_ makes you blush," said his wife wryly.

"Doesn't mean you shouldn't keep trying sweetheart," said EJ impishly and gave her a teasing wink.

"It was a thing of beauty," said Nicole triumphantly, strolling in and helping herself to the Scotch which Sami just raised an eyebrow at but said nothing, "Victor just sat there and had to take it as he had to sign over a big old hunk of his fortune to me."

She turned back round, glass in hand and grinned at them all.

"You know councillor," she smirked, waving her very full glass about, "If you'd managed to make him cry I would have thrown in a little bonus for you but then again, I have to admit I think you came pretty close."

"You know you did try and kill the man," said Sami flatly, "Some people might say that you didn't deserve one red cent from him. It's not like that kind of thing smacks of you being any kind of wife to Victor. I mean, what does that say about your entire relationship anyway?"

"Oh I don't know Samantha," said EJ mildly from where he was building blocks up into a tower which the twins would then knock down with great gusto, "Some relationships have been known to go on and thrive after such things."

Sami rolled her eyes and then sent him a warning look. Would he _never_ get over that whole trying to set him alight in the cabin thing?! EJ just grinned back at her impishly which made her shake her head.

"So anyway," said Nicole, seeing the little exchange between husband and wife and not liking not being the centre of attention all of a sudden, "It's time to celebrate - dinner is on me!"

"Well that very nice of you Nicole," said EJ, starting to build the blocks yet again but this time in the shape of a house, "But you don't have to."

"I insist!" she said dramatically, making a sweeping gesture with her hand, "I won't take no for an answer!"

"Sweetheart," said EJ looking up at Sami with a smile, "Does your mother have any plans for tonight do you know? Would she be willing to look after the twins?"

"Oh," said Nicole screwing up her face, "You want Sami to come too?"

"Of course I do Nicole," said EJ smoothly, "And if she's not invited I'm afraid I couldn't possibly even consider your invitation."

Nicole looked put out but then shrugged.

"Fine, bring the old ball and chain if you want EJ," she sulked, "I've started drinking early so I'm sure it will be fine!"

"Don't do me any favours Nicole," said Sami harshly, unhappy with the woman for blatantly asking her husband out while she was standing right there, "And my Mom and John are going out tonight so they won't be able to watch the babies so unfortunately we won't be able to accept your offer Nicole. Too bad, so sad."

"I'll pay for you to get a babysitter," said Nicole blithely, not to be put off.

"I don't want some stranger looking after my babies!" protested Sami hotly.

"And yet you live in this mausoleum with Strange and Stranger," shrugged Nicole making a reference to John and Rolf, "Go figure."

"Don't you talk about my family like that!" said Sami, oddly protective of them for some reason.

"Touchy," tutted Nicole, "What's that all about then?"

"It's about you coming into my house and ordering people about Nicole," said Sami with a scowl, "Don't you have a rock you should be crawling back under right about now?"

"I've got to use the little girls room," Nicole suddenly announced, ignoring Sami's dig completely, "Which way?"

"Up the stairs, second on your left," said Sami coolly, "Don't rush back."

"Sweet," said Nicole sarcastically but headed off anyway.

"What are you doing?" asked Sami in annoyance, coming to stand beside where EJ was still sitting with the twins and folding her arms in front of her chest, "Why are you pushing for us all to go out tonight - what are you - a sucker for punishment or something?"

"Sweetheart," said EJ wryly, unconcerned by her tone, "Nicole is excited, she has good news and I feel badly for her that she has no one to share it with."

"So this is about us pitying her?" mused Sami and the thought seemed to make her happier, "Can we tell her that we're just doing it out of pity?"

Sami looked at him hopefully and he ruefully shook his head at her determined hatred of the other woman.

"I think that would be a little churlish of us don't you Samantha?" he asked her calmly.

"Churlish, smurlish," griped Sami, "I want to rub her face in the fact that she's got no friends."

"Samantha," said EJ warningly and she rolled her eyes at him.

"Fine!" she snapped, "But I'm ordering two of all the most expensive things on the menu."

"After today Nicole can well afford that sweetheart," said EJ dryly, "Just nothing that is flaming… or comes on sharp, pointy sticks hmm? I think we learnt that after the Chez Rouge incident last month."

"I don't like this," said Sami and pouted unhappily, "Are we never going to get this witch out of our lives?!"

EJ thought now would not be the best time to mention that Victor's lawyers would inevitably be appealing the judges decision and that this wasn't over yet, not by a long shot. Instead he reached out a hand and stroked the calf of one of her legs as she stood there.

"If it makes you feel any better darling," he told her, "We've just come into a lot of money today ourselves seeing as I get a percentage of what the judge has ruled on in Nicole's favour. Just think of it this way - it's going to be Nicole who's paying for our wedding."

A slow smile spread across Sami's face at this and EJ had to laugh at the gleeful satisfaction she was gaining from that thought. EJ stood up then and pulled her into his arms.

"You know sweetheart," he said throatily, leaning down to press a kiss to her neck before continuing, "I thought we could have our own… private… celebration when the twins have their nap in a little while."

"Oh really?" said Sami with a little smirk, "And what kind of celebration were you thinking of exactly EJ?"

"Well I thought once we put the twins down…" he said, pressing a series of kisses along her jaw line next, making her shiver, "We could take a bottle of champagne to our room…"

"Aha…" mused Sami, a smile on her lips as he playfully teased her nose with his own now.

"I could slip into something more comfortable," he continued on, his voice low and husky, "…I was thinking you."

Sami gave a little laugh at that and he answered it with a mischievous grin of his own.

"Is _that_ what you were thinking?" she teased him impishly.

"That's _all_ I've been thinking about the entire day since we were interrupted this morning," he groaned, giving her a wicked look, "I couldn't think of anything else. I only know that we won the thing with Victor today because Nicole told me so. I spent all my time in that hearing imagining what I was going to do to my beautiful wife the very next time I got my hands on her."

To illustrate his point EJ moved the hands that were at her waist lower and grabbed both her bottom cheeks with them and squeezed.

"EJ!" she laughed up at him.

"Samantha," he growled and tightened his grip on her ass, pulling her into a heated kiss.

Sami melted into him and his kiss, everything else fading from existence in that moment, even her children. The blood began to race through her body, heating her from the inside out and the unsatisfied ache that he'd started this morning burst into life.

"Are you wet?" he asked very, very quietly against her lips so that only she could hear, his warm brown eyes searching her face with avid interest.

"Yes," she whimpered back softly and she saw the lust flare in his eyes before capturing her lips again, his tongue at her lips, demanding entrance which she granted him instantly.

Sami put her arms around his neck, clinging to him as the kiss quickly deepened and threaten to get out of control.

"Oh my god!"

The sound of Nicole's strident voice in the doorway all of a sudden brought Sami hurtling back to reality and she pulled her head away, breaking the kiss.

"Ug," said Nicole, walking into the room now and pulling a disgusted face, "I think I just threw up a little in my mouth then. Can't you two keep it in your pants? There are fragile young minds around you know?"

"Our children are very familiar with their Mummy and Daddy's displays of affection," EJ informed her calmly which belied his rapidly beating heart that Sami could feel against her.

EJ seemed in no hurry to let Sami go either, his hands still very firmly on her butt cheeks and he was even massaging them a little, in full view of Nicole. Sami blushed a little self consciously but didn't want him to stop, enjoying it when he was possessive of her like this.

"Very familiar," repeated EJ with a roguish grin down at Sami, giving her a wink.

"I was talking about me," said Nicole flatly, "Your kids don't have a chance at coming out unscathed with Sami as a mother. They're already damaged beyond repair."

Sami grimaced at that and took her arms away from around EJ's neck and stepped back a little from him, making him let her go.

"It's time for the twin's to have their bottle," she said stoically, Nicole's jab at her hitting a painful mark, "I'll be right back."

EJ frowned to watch her go, seeing that she was upset. He looked over at Nicole who'd just poured herself another drink. EJ walked over to her and took it out of her hand and set it on the table.

"Hey!" she protested with a frown, "I was going to drink that!"

"I think you've had enough," said EJ, his handsome face darkened with displeasure, "And as for what you just said to my wife I want you to apologise when she comes back in the room."

"Right!" snorted Nicole.

"Nicole," said EJ, his face very serious as he moved closer to her and Nicole felt a sudden flash of fear at the way he was looking at her, "I won't have you question Samantha's abilities as a mother. She is a loving, devoted mother who adores her children. Ali and Johnny want for nothing when she is there. Samantha is attentive and self sacrificing when it comes to her children and I won't have you stand there and suggest anything else when the only person you've ever looked out for in your life is yourself!"

"Alright… sheesh," said Nicole, taken aback by how fiercely he was looking at her, obviously angry with her, "Don't go all postal on me. I was just joking."

"If you want to retain my services as your attorney Nicole," said EJ flatly, his dark eyes cold and hard now, "Then I recommend that you do yourself a favour and never joke about such things again. Do we understand each other?"

"Fine," said Nicole feigning an uncaring shrug, "Whatever."

She turned away from him then and pretended interest in the painting above the mantle. Nicole felt a stab of pain that no man had ever rushed to protect her like EJ had just done for Sami and it made her sad to think that no man probably ever would. She didn't know how Sami had managed it but she'd gotten this hunky, intelligent man to actually fall in love with her and Nicole envied her for that - not that she'd ever admit it of course. Sami walked back into the room then and Nicole turned around. EJ gave her a pointed look and Nicole rolled her eyes dramatically but did what he was silently telling her to do.

"So Sami," said Nicole, as though the words were being forced out of her at great personal sacrifice, "I suppose there is an outside chance that you're not the worst mother in the world."

"Wow," said Sami sarcastically, picking up Ali first and propping her up on the sofa and handing her a bottle, "Validation of my parenting skills from a money grabbing, vacuous Paris Hilton wannabe - I feel _so_ much better now. Thanks Nicole - I can't tell you how much you're opinion on how I raise my children means to me, seriously, I think I might cry from the happiness of it all."

Sami then sent Nicole a death stare and then went to pick up Johnny and settle him in the cushions of the sofa with his bottle. Nicole turned to EJ and gave him a 'happy now?' look and EJ just sighed.

"Well that was lovely ladies," he said ironically, "A real Hallmark moment even if I do say so myself."

The two women both gave him very unimpressed looks then and EJ quietly groaned to himself. It was like trying to get a snake and a mongoose to play nicely together. The thing of it being is that it was usually the idiot in the middle trying to make it happen that ended up getting hurt!

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ and John were waiting in the sitting room for the women to finish getting ready that evening. Nicole had managed to get her way in the end and EJ and Sami were going out to dinner with her tonight. The twins were all tucked up in bed and grandma Caroline had just arrived for her stint as baby sitter and was up talking to Sami while she got ready.

"I've got women worked out," announced John confidently, taking a sip of his scotch as he stood in the middle of the room .

"Really, this should be good," said EJ sceptically and arched an eyebrow, "Do go on Uncle."

"They make out like their all uptight about sex but scratch the surface and they are just as sex orientated as men, they just hide it better," said John.

"And I'm assuming this insight is based on your experience with the romance novels you've been reading?" said EJ, arching an eyebrow at him.

"Sure," said John, "You've read them - they dress it all up but basically it's sex - but just with a lot of talking before and after… and sometimes during."

"Right…" said EJ slowly, not 100% sure he could disagree with that after having read one for himself now, "So based on this new revelation into all womankind, and admittedly I probably don't want to know the answer to this but is this why you're so excited about your plans for this evening with Marlena?"

"I've got her worked out," said John assuredly, "She wants me but she just can't say it so out loud, so we go out, I show her that I know how she feels about me and then we come back here and let nature take it's course."

"What exactly do you have planned that is going to show her you 'know how she feels'?" asked EJ, beginning to get a bit worried for Marlena now.

"She likes the theatre right?" said John.

"Mm," nodded EJ, okay with the plan so far.

"Woman like the sexy stuff as long as you don't call them directly on it," he said firmly, "So I've bought tickets to a play that is going to get her in the mood."

"Really?" asked EJ, trying to think of any plays that were on at the moment that would do that and coming up blank, "So what are you and Marlena planning on seeing tonight?"

"The Vagina Monologues," said John happily and then held up a hand when EJ opened his mouth, "I know what you're going to say - too sexy, too overt but when I told Blondie about it she was quite excited and you know what that means…?"

"Probably a little more than you do right now," said EJ dryly, realising his uncle didn't have the first clue about what that play was actually about or rather he thought he did but was way off!

"It mean's it's on!" he said triumphantly, "We'll watch the play, she'll be in the mood and then viola! Page 102 in 'The Heaving Heart' here we come!"

"Uncle," began EJ with a grimace, "I don't think you really understand what the play is… wait, page 102, was that the part where they were in the abandoned cabin together when it rained?"

"No," said John, a happy smile on his face at the memory, "It was when they were by the fire and the guy took that feather and…"

"I remember," said EJ, hastily interrupting him, recalling the scene quite vividly himself, "I remember uncle."

"So you liked the book then?" asked John a little smugly.

"It was eye opening," EJ admitted to him, "But…"

"But?" prompted John curiously.

"But Samantha and I don't seem to require any inspiration when it comes to the romance in our marriage," he continued on smoothly, a little twinkle in his eye.

"Hm," said John and took another sip of his drink.

John eyed EJ with interest all of a sudden then.

"So you and the wild cat and her mortal enemy are all going out to dinner together," mused John calmly.

"That's right," said EJ with a bit of a grimace.

"You're a slow learner," commented his uncle.

"So it would appear," mused EJ, not denying it.

"You do realise it's only a matter of time before one of them kills the other don't you?" John asked, sounding decidedly unconcerned at the possibility.

"I like to live life on the edge Uncle," said EJ mockingly, not disagreeing with him again.

"My money is on the wild cat," said John with a little nod of his head, "She's got a lot of rage that one."

"I'm rather hoping it won't come to that Uncle John," said EJ with another little grimace.

"Based on what?" asked John expressionlessly, "Previous experience?"

"Mm," murmured EJ, looking a little stressed now.

"So is it Chez Rouge again?" asked John, "At least you know where all the emergency exits and fire extinguishers are there."

"No," grimaced EJ, beginning to wonder if his uncle had a point, "I thought we'd share the chaos evenly around town. There is that new seafood restaurant across town that we're going to try."

"The one where you have tanks of water with fish in them and you pick the one you want to eat?" asked John seeming to consider this.

"That's right," nodded EJ, "It's meant to be very good."

"How's your CPR?" asked John straight faced, "You may need it tonight with all that water around."

"Don't be ridiculous Uncle," quietly worrying to himself that he wasn't being ridiculous at all!

"Well while you're fishing your wife and/or your client out of aquariums tonight you can think of me and Blondie," said John, looking self satisfied, "Getting it on."

"Oh," said EJ, making a pained expression, "First of all that will never be something I plan to picture… _ever_ and second of all I think I really should tell you a little about the play you're planning on seeing Uncle."

"Don't bother," said John with an unconcerned wave of his hand, "I like surprises."

"Well you're going to _love_ tonight then," said EJ ironically, "But seriously Uncle, that play is not what you think…"

"So are you ready to go John?" asked Marlena suddenly in the door now.

Both men turned to look at her as she stood there.

"You look very beautiful Marlena," said EJ sincerely and meant it.

EJ certainly had a lot to look forward to in the coming years with Sami if her mother was anything to go by… especially after that infamous shower incident.

"Thank you EJ," smiled Marlena and then looked expectantly at John, "The play will be starting soon, we'd better go John."

"Sure," nodded John and then as a very quiet aside to EJ as he passed by, "Eager."

EJ grimaced internally at how smug John sounded saying that. Penny's to pounds it wasn't just EJ's evening that was going to have a few surprises in it that was for sure. EJ seriously doubted that John was going to be quite so happy tomorrow morning when he saw him next and experiencing a little schadenfreuden himself, the thought made him smile.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter FIVE**

**EJ'S DAY….**

Sami and EJ were in the kitchen, each feeding a twin their breakfast the next day. They tended to take turns with who fed whom so it was always equal. Today EJ was feeding Ali and Sami had Johnny as they spooned warmed porridge into the sometimes less than co-operative babies. Sami was talking away animatedly about some wedding details and EJ was listening… kind of.

He'd worked out a system whereas by every time Sami would turn and have her attention on Johnny for a brief moment as she fed him his next mouthful EJ would take the opportunity to stare, unabashed at her breasts. She was wearing a particular favourite of his today, a pink top that was one of her most low cut blouses and it was displaying her assets most admirably. Sami would turn back and continue talking to him and it would be his turn to feed Ali while she was watching him. It was a good system and it was working well.

"I mean I don't know if I even want to have all of those people at our wedding…"

Sami continued on and she was back to feeding Johnny. EJ let his eyes settle on her breasts, remembering the way they'd been pressed against him last night, and the feel of her nipples scrapping across his chest. He wondered if she'd object if he just reached over and cupped one full mound. Probably… but he was pretty sure he would be able to talk her round… he seemed to have the knack.

"… and even if I did want them there I'm not sure it's a good idea…"

She was back to facing him so he quickly dragged his eyes from her and fed Ali her next spoonful before turning back to Sami's chest to return to his daydream of how he might be able to get his hands on those beauties again.

"EJ!"

EJ started and looked up to see Sami staring at him with a vaguely annoyed look on her face.

Something appeared to have happened to his system somewhere along the line. Johnny must have eaten his mouthful quickly or not wanted it or something because they'd gotten out of sync and she'd caught him out.

"Are you listening to me EJ?" she asked him in mild exasperation, "Or ogling my boobs?"

"Boobs," he admittedly freely with a lopsided smile, "Definitely the boobs but I was still listening to you sweetheart."

"You have a one track mind," complained Sami but she didn't look that put out by her husband's attention.

"That's not true!" he protested hotly, looking very offended, "I also think a great deal about you bottom as well."

He grinned then and gave her a devilish look complete with a wink and she just shook her head at his silliness.

"You know sweetheart," he said with an arched eyebrow, "I don't have to go into the office until a little later in the morning. How about we ask John to keep an eye on the twins and we can… _rent a hotel room_… for an hour or so."

He waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively then as he playful teased her about her previous attempt to relocate their lovemaking to hotel rooms to avoid any further embarrassing situations. Okay, so she'd laid down the law and less than five minutes later he was inside her making her scream to the high heavens for more. Just because the spirit had been willing but the flesh was weak didn't mean he had to keep on bringing it up to make fun of her about it.

"You know a smart man might think to leave sleeping dogs lie about that," she suggested grumpily, feeling a little silly that she couldn't even last out ten minutes against this man's sex appeal, "In case I decide to change my mind about it."

"Well if that happens sweetheart it will be my very great pleasure to change it back again," he smirked at her to which she just shook her head at his cockiness.

"You're so sure of yourself aren't you?" she said with a roll of her eyes but she was going to have the last laugh, "However I'm afraid I'm going to have to veto your little idea."

"Hm," he mused, handing the spoon to Ali now that she was finished with her food so she could play with it, "Guess I'll just have to work on changing your mind on that eh darling."

"You already have a date," she informed him sweetly.

"I do?" he asked in confusion.

"With John," she reminded him smugly, "I overheard you telling him you'd talk to him later on this morning about something."

"Oh right," said EJ sounding a bit deflated.

He must have suppressed the memory briefly. He'd met John in the hallway this morning and after asking about his and Marlena's evening and being left in no doubt to John's unhappiness about it all John had asked him if they could have that 'talk'. EJ gave a little involuntary shudder at what lay ahead of him… a sex talk with John. There was no way in hell that this was going to end well.

"What does he want to talk to you about?" asked Sami curiously.

"Sweetheart," said EJ grimly, "You so don't want to know the answer to that question… trust me."

"Oh right," said Sami a little worriedly, seeing the look on his face, "That bad huh?"

"Worse," grimaced EJ, "Much, much worse."

Sami was curious despite herself and opened her mouth to ask more questions but was interrupted.

"EHELPA… EHELPA… EHELPA!"

Both EJ and Sami looked at each other in shock and then shook their heads. Sami picked up Johnny and EJ picked up Ali and went to investigate.

"Never a dull moment in this place," muttered EJ under his breath.

The four of them came out the kitchen door into the living room to find a peacock standing in the middle of the room, surveying the area with seeming interest. John walked in next, following the sound of the piercing cries followed closely by Rolf

"EHELPA… EHELPA… EHELPA!"

The loud peacock screech resonated through out the house, bouncing off the walls and down the hallways. It was the one from the proposal incident, half of it's tail still missing after the events of that night. He'd ended up being dubbed 'Smokey' as in 'Smokey the Bear' by everyone. He was the only peacock with a name because he was the only one they could tell apart from the others.

"What is Smokey doing in the house?" asked Sami in horror, "What if the twins were in here playing rather than in the kitchen right now? Get it out of here John!"

"I don't see what the problem is?" protested John, "He just wants to look around."

"Get rid of the thing John," said Marlena, arriving on the scene now from upstairs.

"Fine," said John rolling his eyes at everyone's over reaction, "Rolf."

"Vy do I ave to do it?" complained Rolf, eyeing the large bird off warily, "Zis is za vone zat tried to kill me za other veek."

"Him or me Rolf," said John, laying down the ultimative, "Who do you want to take your chances with?"

"Threatz are not za vay to motivate your employees you know," complained Rolf under his breath as he warily began to shoo the peacock out of the house.

"I can go and get my gun if you'd prefer," offered John expressionlessly.

"John," Marlena chastised him and he just arched an unconcerned eyebrow at her.

Rolf began to gingerly shoo the creature out of the room and back through the French doors it had wandered in by. Smokey looked none too pleased at being so summarily dismissed and gave them an earful as he left, puffing up his feathers and almost seeming to flounce out of the room. The twins had watched the goings on completely fascinated by it all as Rolf managed to get the creature out of the room, locking the French doors behind it… although that was possibly overkill seeing as peacocks couldn't undo locks… that anyone knew of.

"Well now that the excitement is over let's get you little grubs upstairs and cleaned up," said EJ, looking at both Ali and Johnny.

Sami and EJ disappeared upstairs for about twenty minutes and returned downstairs again with freshly cleaned twins to see John and Marlena staring out the large window over looking the garden with rapt attention. They exchanged glances and then walked into the room.

"What are you looking at?" asked Sami as they all went to stand beside him at the window.

"Rolf's getting a shovel for me from the garden shed down there," John informed them.

"Why?" asked Sami curiously and smiling at Johnny as he made a grab for her necklace.

"Because I don't want to walk all the way down there and get it myself," said John flatly.

"Not why Rolf," said Sami in exasperation, "Why the shovel?"

"I want to bury something," said John expressionlessly.

EJ and Sami exchanged looks again behind his back and EJ just silently shook his head at her not to pursue it.

"Look," said Sami, "Smokey is back and he looks like he's giving Rolf a bit of a hard time."

"They certainly do seem to have developed a bit of a dislike when it comes to Rolf alright," mused EJ, shaking his head as Rolf started flapping his arms at the bird, trying to shoo it away which it seemed to be taking as an invitation for a fight, puffing up and advancing on him rather menacingly.

"Maybe it's a German thing," said John knowingly.

"First of all Rolf is Austrian," said EJ rolling his eyes at his uncle's ridiculous remark, "And secondly I'm sure the peacocks have no idea as to Rolf's nationality Uncle John and even if they did why on earth would they have a grudge against Austrians?!"

"How do you know what a peacock does or does not know nephew?" asked John perfectly reasonably, "Or what they hold grudges against?"

EJ shook his head, why did he keep having these inane conversations with the man? Why couldn't he just leave John to his delusions.

"There are more peacocks turning up," announced Sami, nervous now for Rolf, "What are they doing?"

"They seem to be having some kind of discussion about Rolf," said EJ knowing that sounded ridiculous but that was exactly what it looked like, their heads all together, gabbling away together. They all turned as one then, it was kind of eerie actually and stared at Rolf.

"Uh oh," said John expressionlessly, "Looks like they've voted Rolf off the island."

"John," said Marlena, not exactly sure what she was admonishing him for but feeling that she should anyway.

Rolf had obviously decided that he might no longer have the upper hand and had turned back round towards the house, breaking into a trot.

"Faster Rolf," called out John loudly from where they all stood at the window, seeming to be enjoying himself now, "The peacocks are massing!"

"Should we do something?" asked Sami worriedly as they watched Rolf streaking towards the house with four peacocks now hot on his tail.

"What like take pictures or something?" asked John, liking the idea.

"Like help him John," she said in exasperation.

"Nah," said John casually, "He's moves pretty fast for an old guy - he'll make it."

"This is _so_ wrong," said Sami fascinated but still shaking her head as the four adults and the twins stood at the window and just watched Rolf making a mad dash towards the patio, heading for the house and safety.

"And on so many levels," agreed EJ, not taking his eyes off the little tableau being played out in front of them either.

"John?" said Marlena, a thought suddenly occurring to her as she too watched Rolf and the peacocks transfixed, the man almost at the patio now, "Did you unlock the French doors from earlier?"

The need to answer that question became redundant when Rolf just then made it to the doors and then the frantic scrabbling sound of them trying to be opened reached them.

"I'm going to say a 'no' to that one," said John, the corners of his lips turning up in the barest of smiles.

"EJ!" said Sami, grabbing his arm, "Let him in already!"

EJ swapped Ali to his other hip and hurried over to the doors, unlocking them and Rolf tumbled through, landing on the ground in a puffing, sweaty heap before EJ closed the doors behind him and eyeing off the peacocks now circling the patio. Ali laughed to see him, thinking this was a very funny game and clapped her hands together.

"Hold the applause girl baby," John instructed her and walked over to where Rolf was gasping for breath on the floor and looked him up and down, "I don't see my shovel… Rolf?"

"Zey vere trying to kill me!" said Rolf, getting painfully to his feet.

"And if you'd gotten the shovel like I'd told you to then you could have defended yourself," said John unsympathetically.

EJ looked at Ali in his arms who was watching Rolf and John with great interest.

"Just so you know," he said ironically, tapping her leg to get her attention and turning around to include Johnny in this as well, "This is in no way normal behaviour you two."

"This…" EJ waving a finger at John, Rolf and the peacocks still milling around outside, "Is what we call crazy."

The twins just smiled and gurgled happily, finding crazy to be most entertaining.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ took a seat across from John and fixed what he hoped was a calm smile on his face although he was pretty certain that this ensuing conversation was going to scar him for life.

"Alright Uncle," he said evenly, "I suppose we should get started."

EJ shifted a little in his chair, dreading this like a trip to the dentist but putting on a brave face.

"So about sex," he began evenly, "Do you… I mean… are you aware of the actual…"

"I know what goes where," said John flatly, interrupting EJ's halting question, "If that's what you were trying to ask."

"Right," said EJ feeling a little relieved - at least he didn't have to go _there_, "So what is it that you do want to know then Uncle?"

"It's more the…" John shrugged then, "… the finer details I suppose. You know, what's acceptable, what isn't. That kind of thing."

"Oh well," said EJ, thinking that this might not be as bad as he thought it was going to be, "That's fine then - I'm sure I'll be able to help with that."

John went to his coat pocket and pulled out a white sheet of paper and handed it to him.

"You made a list?" said EJ weakly, "Wow… that's… ah… very organised of you uncle."

EJ looked down at it and turned over the piece of paper in his hands.

"And it's continues on over the page," said EJ, feigning being pleased, "Excellent - this should be just… well… let's get started shall we?"

EJ looked down and started to read the list.

"Okay," he began thoughtfully, "No to the first one… and the second one…"

He read on then and gave a little start.

"Dear god!" he exclaimed and looked up wide eyed at John who was sitting there calmly looking back at him, "Number three! Where are you getting these ideas from Uncle?!"

"I've been watching a lot of Animal Planet on television lately," said John stoically.

"Well that certainly explains number seven and twelve then," said EJ wryly, "And the answer to both of those by the way in case you're wondering is NO!"

EJ went back to the list, nervously reading on.

"Okay," he said, "Yes to number four but I recommend you discuss it before you just spring it on her."

"Isn't that what we're doing here?" asked John perplexed.

"I meant with Marlena," said EJ through gritted teeth, "There is no way in God's green earth that you and I will ever be in the position to do number four!"

"Speaking of positions," said John blithely, "Turn over the page."

EJ did as he asked and skimmed down the page.

"Number eighteen," John prompted him, "Yes… no?"

"Number eighteen is physically impossible without some kind of surgical intervention," said EJ flatly, "And number nineteen sins against God so no to both of those."

EJ made a little exasperated sound and looked up from the list, putting it down on his lap.

"Uncle John," he began, trying to think how to explain this, "All of the questions you've asked here, except for a few notable exceptions which I'll point out and then we will never talk of again, can be sorted out between yourself and Marlena when you're at that point in your relationship. This isn't really your problem… well, not your main one anyway. What you need to do is find out what it is that Marlena really wants from you."

"So how do you know what a woman wants you to do then?" asked John perplexed now, "If they can say one thing and mean another or if they change from day to day… how are you meant to know what to do?"

"Look Uncle John," said EJ with a little sigh, taking off his glasses and holding them in one hand and looking at him steadily, "Can I tell you my philosophy about women?"

"Isn't that what I'm paying you for?" asked John with a shrug.

"Actually you're not paying me at all," EJ reminded him wryly, "But we digress. I walk around and see all of these books about … how to make a marriage work… five steps to a happy wife… television shows on how to get a woman to do what you want basically and it seems to me so wrong. All of those things seek to tame the fierce, exotic creature that is a woman instead of standing back and enjoying the thrill of just being in their presence. Being with a woman is a wild adventure, they can change from one moment to the next with no warning and that is the exciting part. Take Samantha for example, the last thing I want to do is take away all that fire and passion that makes her who she is. I love that I never know what I'm going to get with her. It's thrilling and enthralling and I can't bear it when I see men trying to box in all that spirit and passion that women have. In my opinion only men who have no awareness of themselves resort to trying to control women like that, trying to find a sense of their own manhood in dominating a woman."

"So what are you saying?" asked John, "Just let them get on with being crazy then and stay out of the way the best you can?"

"No," said EJ with a little laugh and shake of his head, "Uncle John, a relationship is full of nuances - not your forte I know but it is. When you're with a woman you take the time to get to know her and take in not only what she says, but how she says it, when she says it and how she acts. It takes time to understand one another in a relationship and that's what I'm saying. With time comes intimacy and you can go on that wild adventure together, as equals without one trying to dominate the other. You don't always get what you expect but most of the time you get way more than you ever hoped for. I never want Samantha to feel that she isn't free to be exactly the person she is, deep down inside. I never want her to doubt my love for her or my constancy, that my love is conditional, dependant on her last word or deed."

John sat back and pondered this for a long time and EJ watched him, wondering if any of what he'd said had made sense to him.

"So you're saying I should stop trying to figure Blondie out?" he mused at last.

"I'm saying you should stop trying to figure Marlena out just so you can get her into bed with you," said EJ flatly, "Women know when you're trying to manipulate them - it's an instinctive thing even if they don't realise it fully themselves and they will never feel safe around you until you stop. Trust me, I know of what I speak."

"I guess you do," said John evenly.

"Look Uncle, bottom line," said EJ, "Put Marlena first and your own wants and needs second. If you want to have a shot at this it's the only way. It may not work but it's the only way it can."

John looked stoically at a spot on the wall obviously thinking about what EJ had said.

"Interesting," he announced finally and then just stood up and left the room.

"Well Marlena," sighed EJ quietly to himself, "I did my best - you're on your own now."

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ was walking up the stairs of to his office later that morning, preferring them to the elevator and making a phone call as he did. He put it to his ear while he waited for it to be picked up.

"Hello."

"Hey there," he smiled, "How's my favourite sister?"

"As far as I'm aware I'm your only sister," said Lexie dryly.

"Yes well with Stefano we can never be sure," agreed EJ just as dryly, "But if I did have other's I'm sure you'd still be my favourite."

"Smooth talker," she teased him.

"I have my moments," he grinned.

"So what's with the phone call?" she asked, "Not that it isn't lovely to hear from you of course."

"You're not in the middle of something are you?" asked EJ.

"Just some paperwork," she sighed, "Nothing riveting."

"Well I thought you might like to come and have lunch with me later on," he said, "I have this driving urge to spend some time with at least one member of my family that isn't completely bonkers."

"John giving you a hard time is he?" she laughed at him.

"Never before in the history of the English language have the words 'I don't want to talk about it' been more true than just now," said EJ wryly.

"That bad huh?" she said sympathetically, "My poor little brother. Well lunch sounds great."

"And how are things going your end?" asked EJ, detecting a little something in her voice.

"Oh you know," she sighed a little sadly, "Going."

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked her, "I'm a good listener you know."

"I guess you'd have to be, married to Sami," Lexie teased him.

"Fortunately for me I find every word that comes from Samantha's lips to be absolutely enthralling," smiled EJ, "So it's no hardship at all."

"Wow," she laughed at his dotting, "You've got it bad haven't you?"

"Some might even say it's a terminal case," agreed EJ ruefully, "So how does twelve thirty sound for lunch?"

"Great," she said, "Where?"

"I suppose somewhere close to the hospital place is best for you isn't it?" mused EJ, "How about that Thai place on the corner of Smith and Thomas? You like Thai right?"

EJ felt a flash of frustration at knowing so little about his sister but then, that was part of the reason for having lunch with Lexie today, to get to know her better.

"I love it," she laughed, "I'd eat it every day if I could but Abe hates it so it's a rare treat for me."

"Excellent," said EJ happily, "Then I'll meet you there."

"Great," she said, "Oh and EJ…"

"Yes?" he asked when she paused.

"Thanks for thinking of me," she said softly, "It means a lot to me."

"To me too," he returned quietly.

The siblings hung up then and EJ was at his floor and walking through the doors.

"Good morning Marcie," he smiled at the young woman, "How are you today?"

"I'm good thanks Mr DiMera," she said with an answering smile, "I've let your messages on your desk - most important ones on the top."

"You're a doll," he said, continuing on to his office, "Better hop to it then eh?"

She smiled and nodded at him as he passed by.

**oooOOOOooo**

"This has been fun," said Lexie, sitting back in her chair as the waiter cleared their lunch plates, "But I feel like I've done all the talking EJ."

"Nonsense," he dismissed her concerns with a smile, "I've enjoyed myself."

"You weren't just talking yourself up," said Lexie with a smile, "You actually are a good listener."

"Is that so hard to imagine?" he teased her, "With my DiMera blood and all?"

Lexie frowned suddenly and moved in her chair a little.

"What?" he asked her, seeing her sudden unease.

"I was just thinking about Father," she said, her face hardening a little, "Wondering where he was… what he was up to now. I'll feel a whole lot better once Abe and Roman find him again."

"Yes well I'm not exactly holding my breath for that," said EJ flatly.

"They say they're closing in on him," protested Lexie, "The think he's in Portugal."

"As I recall they also thought Samantha and Ali were in Mexico when in actual fact they were in New Orleans," said EJ dryly, "So I'm not exactly brimming with confidence that they have the first clue as to where our father actually is."

"Are you worried about what he might do next?" asked Lexie with a tilt of her head.

"I'd be lying… and foolhardy if I said I wasn't," admitted EJ, "But I've got people working on it."

"Do you think that's a good idea EJ?" she asked him worriedly, "Don't you think you should let the police just handle it from here?"

"There is too much at stake," said EJ with a determined shake of his head, "Samantha, the twins, you and Theo, Tony and Anna… you're all my family and I won't have Stefano hurting any of you ever again."

"You're taking a lot on yourself," said Lexie quietly, shaking her head at him, "You don't have to you know."

"I was the last one to see Father for who and what he really was," said EJ grimly, "I've got some ground I need to make up."

"But that doesn't mean you have to go up against him single-handedly," protested Lexie, concerned now, "It's not up to you to stop him EJ."

"Lexie I think I may be the _only_ one that can stop him," said EJ determinedly, "He may be calculating and ruthless but I can be too when I want to be."

"Yes but you're not evil," protested Lexie with a frown, "You have limits that you've placed on yourself about what you will and will not do."

"Maybe I don't when it comes to protecting my family," said EJ, his eyes suddenly hard.

"EJ?" said Lexie, her frown deepening at the look in her brother's eye.

EJ saw how he was worrying her and determinedly softened his face, smiling at her.

"But all this is just conjecture," he said with a little wave of his hand to lighten the mood, "Our Father is not a well man and can't live forever Lexie. Chances are he pass from this world into the flaming abyss that is surely waiting for him on some little remote island and none of us will ever see or hear from him again."

"That would be my best case scenario," said Lexie grimly.

"It will be fine Lexie," he said, laying his hand over the top of hers reassuringly as it rested on the table, "Don't…"

"Worry my pretty little head about it?" she challenged him with a warning gleam in her eye.

"Well I was going to say - Don't concern yourself with men's business but that works too I suppose," he said straight faced.

"Oh you!" she said, pulling her hand out from underneath his and slapping at it for his teasing.

EJ laughed then and Lexie joined in then, shaking her head at him.

"You're impossible," laughed Lexie at him.

"You've been talking to my wife," grinned EJ and then his cell phone rang and he grimaced apologetically, "Sorry… do you mind?"

"Of course not," said Lexie with a little shake of her head, "Answer it."

EJ gave her silent thank you and pulled the phone out from his coat pocket.

"EJ DiMera," he said calmly and then frowned a little, the voice on the other end of the phone catching him off guard.

"Oh Marlena hi," said EJ a little surprised, "Is everything… I'm sorry… you're where? Yes… yes of course… I'll come immediately… I'm leaving right now… no don't worry about a thing."

EJ hung up and looked a little stunned.

"Is everything alright EJ?" asked Lexie with a frown seeing her brother's expression.

"Yes," he smiled reassuringly, regaining his composure quickly, "I just have to go and help Marlena out with something."

"Nothing serious I hope?" asked Lexie concerned.

"Just some car trouble apparently," he said easily.

"It's nice that she feels that she can come to you," smiled Lexie, "You've made real strides with that family over the last year."

"Well the only way was up," said EJ wryly, "But yes, I do think that for the most part Samantha's family is accepting me in her life."

"I'm glad," said Lexie, "Sami's family is important to her - I'm sure that has made both of your lives a lot easier."

"It has," agreed EJ and then gave her a little smile, "But I must dash now, can't keep the mother-in-law waiting now can I? Lose all the brownie points I've managed to gain."

"Alright," she laughed up at him as he bent down to kiss her cheek goodbye, "We'll have to do this again sometime."

"Absolutely," said EJ with a definite nod, "And soon."

EJ made his final goodbyes to his sister and then hurried to his car, pulling out of the car park, thinking about the phone call he'd just received.

Today was turning out to be a rather strange day decided EJ to himself as he drove away.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter SIX**

**MARLENA'S DAY…**

"EHELPA… EHELPA… EHELPA!"

Marlena froze putting on her last earring at the sound. She tilted her head in confusion. That peacock cry sounded a little closer than it strictly should have been. Walking out of her bedroom she headed downstairs to investigate what was going on.

"EHELPA… EHELPA… EHELPA!"

Well that was definitely too loud for the peacock to be outside the house so that could only mean…

Marlena walked into the sitting room to find the rest of the household already there looking with varying degrees of either horror or interest on their faces as they all stood and looked at Smokey occupying centre stage in the room. John and the twins faces were the interested ones and the other adults were the horror filled ones… funny that. Marlena opened her mouth to protest the peacocks presence but her daughter beat her to it.

"What is Smokey doing in the house? What if the twins were in here playing rather than in the kitchen right now? Get it out of here John!"

"I don't see what the problem is. He just wants to look around."

"Get rid of the thing John," said Marlena with a sigh, feeling her daughter was completely justified to be concerned about the twins.

"Fine…Rolf!"

"Vy do I ave to do it?" Zis is za vone zat tried to kill me za other veek."

"Him or me Rolf. Who do you want to take your chances with?"

"Threatz are not za vay to motivate your employees you know."

"I can go and get my gun if you'd prefer.".

"John!" Marlena chastised him.

Sometimes that was all Marlena felt like she did when it came to John nowadays. Marlena watched as Rolf managed to get the large bird out of the room, albeit a bit nervously and lock the door behind it. This was all a bit much before she even managed to have her morning cup of coffee but then that seemed to be how things were in this household.

"Well now that the excitement is over let's get you little grubs upstairs and cleaned up."

Marlena smiled and gave a little wave to her grandchildren as Sami and EJ carried them out of the room and Rolf had gone back into the kitchen leaving just John and Marlena alone.

"Good morning," she said with a little smile.

"Good morning," he repeated, looking like he didn't know what to say next.

"I want to thank you for last night," said Marlena, "I really enjoyed myself."

"You did?" he asked in astonishment, "Why?"

"What do you mean why?" she said a bit taken aback, "Didn't you enjoy the play?"

John paused for a very long time before answering that.

"I laughed, I cried, it changed my life," said John stoically.

Marlena arched an eyebrow and tried to work out if he was serious or not. John just looked back at her with a characteristically unreadable expression on his face. At least they were indecipherable to Marlena. EJ seemed to do better at reading John's moods for some reason and she couldn't help but be a little miffed by that fact. She was the one who had known and loved John for so many years now and yet she often felt the most clueless around him. But then maybe therein lay the explanation. EJ didn't have any real relationship with John before he lost all his memories so he was simply taking his Uncle at face value whilst she was struggling to reconcile the John she remembered with the man who had taken her to dinner and a show last night.

She'd thought it had been a pleasant night. Their conversation wasn't what it used to be but there was something quite new and exciting about getting to know him all over again but it was also somewhat frightening because she wasn't sure how she was going to feel about this man once she did get to know him. She'd clung to the hope that his memories would be returned to him but as time went by Marlena was having to increasingly deal with the possibility that the John she knew was gone for good. So that meant that she would have to be making a decision about how she felt about this completely different man at some point and she found herself vacillating over that.

Marlena just didn't know exactly how to feel about John nowadays and the following incident where everyone watched Rolf being chased down by peacocks and John's reaction to it all didn't help any. His lack of concern or sympathy for Rolf, his continued detachment from the events going on around him… his need for a shovel. Marlena hadn't asked him what he wanted it for and had no intention of doing so. At this point there were some things she was happy to have remain a mystery to her. But despite all the strangeness and despite her better judgement there was still something about John, even this altered John that drew her to him.

**oooOOOOooo**

"Hey Mom," said Sami, walking out into the foyer from where she had the twins playing happily in the living room in their play pen now that EJ and John had finished their 'mysterious' talk, "Off to work?"

"Yes," her mother smiled at her as she pulled on her coat.

"I thought we might have lunch together today," offered up Sami, helping her on with it, "If you're free that is?"

"Oh," said Marlena touched at the invitation, "Well that sounds lovely but I've already got a lunch date."

"Really?" said Sami in surprise, "With who?"

"Your father," said Marlena calmly.

"Dad?" she repeated, shocked.

"Just because we're not married anymore doesn't mean we don't like to spend some time together," her mother teased her, taking in her expression, "We do still share two beautiful children together after all."

"Of course," said Sami hastily, "I didn't mean anything by that… it's just… I thought that maybe…"

Sami stalled then, not really wanting to finish off what she was saying.

"What is it Sami?" her mother pressed her.

"It's just John," said Sami with a helpless shrug, "I wouldn't think he'd be too happy about you and Dad… you know…"

"Firstly John doesn't control me," said Marlena firmly, "And secondly I don't see why John would have any problems with me seeing a friend for lunch."

"He's not just a friend he's your ex-husband, my father," corrected Sami with a raised eyebrow knowing she wouldn't be too thrilled about it if she was in John's position.

"Sami," said Marlena with a little shake of her head, "I'm not sure why you're concerned about this."

"I just don't want to see anyone get hurt I suppose," sighed Sami with a little frown, "I know things are… delicate between you and John and I don't know…"

"Don't worry about us Sami," said Marlena, tucking a stray strand of blonde hair back behind her daughter's ear lovingly, "We're all adults… we know what we're doing."

"Really?" asked Sami sceptically, "Even John?"

"It will be fine Sami," her mother reassured her evenly although she wasn't actually sure it would be.

"So where are you and Dad having lunch today?" said Sami, changing topic ever so slightly.

"The Lemongrass," smiled Marlena, "We haven't eaten there in years. It will be nice to go back."

"Well give my love to Dad when you see him," said Sami, "Tell him he has to come round and visit his grandchildren before they're all grown up."

"I will," said Marlena, her smile widening at the mention of Johnny and Ali.

John walked out of the living room and nodded at the two of them standing there.

"Ladies," he said shortly and headed up the stairs.

He crossed paths with EJ as the younger man was coming down the stairs, dressed in a suit and tie ready for work now.

"Elvis," said John with another little inclination of his head as they passed one another.

"Uncle," said EJ and kept moving, their little talk from earlier on still fresh in his mind.

EJ got to the bottom of the stairs and smiled warmly at Sami.

"I'm heading to the office now," he told her, "I maybe a little late home tonight - I've got a late meeting. Don't wait for me for dinner."

"Okay," said Sami, putting a hand out and straightening his tie, "That's fine. Actually I was going to go and see Chelsea for a little while after dinner if you're not going to be home… Mom?"

Sami looked at her mother hopefully.

"I'll look after the twins," smiled her mother at the silent question.

"Thanks Mom," grinned Sami, "I won't be late, I promise, probably only an hour at the most."

"It's nice you're spending some time with your cousin," commented EJ.

"Yup," said Sami with a little shrug, "I guess, just felt the urge to hook up with some family I guess."

"Well I'd better push on," said EJ, glancing quickly at his watch, "You…"

He leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss to Sami's mouth then before continuing.

"Have a wonderful day," he told her, stroking her cheek with one finger tenderly, "And I will call you."

It was a little habit of his that he always called her at least twice from work each day. Sami quite liked it, made her feel like he was thinking about her even though they weren't together… which she supposed he was. Marlena watched the little exchange between husband and wife and gave a soft smile, appreciating how good EJ was with Sami. EJ turned then and looked at Marlena.

"Have a good day at work EJ," she said calmly smiling up at him.

EJ just gave her a long look then with an expression that Marlena couldn't easily decipher… worry, concern… she wasn't sure but was even more caught off guard by his next actions. EJ suddenly took a step over to her and pulled her into his arms, gathering her up in a big bear hug. Marlena didn't know what to do so she just patted his back, feeling like she should comfort him in some way but not sure about what.

"Marlena," said EJ determinedly, straightening up and patting the tops of her arms now like he was about to give her a pep talk or reassure her about something.

"EJ?" she returned a little hesitantly, "Is everything okay?"

Marlena looked over at Sami who looked as confused as Marlena felt by his sudden display of affection towards her.

"Of course," said EJ and gave her a somewhat strained look, "Just wanted to wish you luck."

"For?" asked Marlena in consternation.

"Just in general," said EJ a little vaguely and gave a wave of his hand, "You know… just luck."

"You're being weird," Sami informed him flatly, "Why are you being weird? Did something happen with you and John during your talk?"

"What do you mean by weird?" asked EJ hedging, "What makes you think anything weird happened with Uncle John and I?"

"There was a peacock in our living room this morning and John has some mystery plans that involve a shovel," she said flatly, "Is that a good place to start? And when does something that isn't weird happen when John's around?"

"I really must be going," said EJ abruptly changing the subject and fixing a bright smile on his face.

He gave a little incline of his head to them both and excused himself, disappearing out the door.

"This discussion isn't over EJ DiMera!" Sami called out to him as he went.

Marlena gave a perplexed little grimace. It seemed like the odd in this household was spreading like wild fire all of a sudden, EJ appearing to be it's latest victim.

**oooOOOOooo**

Roman stood up and smiled as Marlena entered the restaurant.

"Doc," he said affectionately and giving her a kiss on the cheek, "Good to see you."

"You too," she said with a warm smile and took the seat opposite him as he held out her chair for her, "I'm glad you rang."

"Well I realised I haven't seen my favourite lady for a while," said Roman, sitting down now, "And decided to do something about that."

"Well that's a nice thing to say," she said with a little laugh.

The waiter arrived and they gave their orders and with surprising speed their food turned up.

"How are Sami and the twins?" asked Roman around a mouthful of his steak, "I've been meaning to drop by but work has been so crazy at the moment."

"When hasn't your work been crazy?" asked Marlena wryly, taking a sip of her water.

"I guess," he said wryly, "It's not really a kind of 9 to 5 job is it?"

"No," agreed Marlena with a smile, "But to answer your question Sami is doing well, the best I've think I've ever seen her in fact."

"She sounds good when I ring her," said Roman and then fixed Marlena with a speculative look, "And how is EJ? What's it like living with Stefano junior?"

"Well," said Marlena, her brow furrowing ever so slightly as she thought about the question, "I can't believe I'm going to say this but EJ is actually a good influence on our daughter."

"Really?" said Roman sceptically.

"I don't know how to say it other than…" Marlena trailed off trying to find the right words, "… they fit Roman. It's so strange but it's true. EJ and Sami… well it works."

"And you're okay with that?" asked Roman, his eyes narrowing slightly.

"I'm okay with any man that can make Sami as happy as she is now," said Marlena with a little shrug, "I'll never be able to forget what EJ did to Sami but she seems to have forgiven him completely so all I can do is support her in that."

"But he treats her well?" pushed Roman, not being able to find as much warmth for EJ DiMera as his ex-wife seemed to have now.

"He treats her very well," laughed Marlena, "Too good in fact, I think he spoils her sometimes but in other ways EJ is very grounding for her."

"Well I guess if my little girl is happy…" began Roman but then a hard look came over his face, "But the minute that man takes one step out of line I'm gonna be on him and on hard."

"I know," said Marlena affectionately, "You were always good at that."

Marlena pursed her lips then and she looked a little unsettled.

"What about Lucas?" she asked with a frown, "Do you have any date for his trial yet?"

"No," said Roman with a shake of his head and leaning back in his chair as he contemplated his ex-son in law's fate, "I still can't believe he did those things to Sami and those babies. It seems impossible to think that this is the same guy that we've known all these years."

"People change," said Marlena with a sigh, "It happens."

"Speaking of that," said Roman, eyeing her curiously now, "How's John?"

"He's…" Marlena tried to find the right words and was finding it difficult, "You know… John."

"But that's the point isn't it Doc," said Roman, "He's not John. He's not the man any of us remember. No one knows who the hell he is and least of all John himself."

"It's complicated," agreed Marlena stoically.

"It's complicated and dangerous," said Roman, leaning closer to her now, "Doc you don't know what this new John could do."

"John would never hurt me," protested Marlena trying to work out if she really believed that.

"You don't know what he would or wouldn't do," said Roman grimly, "Stefano had him brain washed and programmed to be a killer."

"He hasn't shown any indication he's dangerous," said Marlena determinedly, wondering quietly to herself if his offer to break some of Rolf's bones for her had been genuine or not.

"All I know is that you, Sami and my grandchildren are living in that big old house with two DiMera's and a crazy scientist," said Roman unhappily, "It's doesn't sit well Doc."

"Roman," said Marlena warmly, reaching out a hand to cover his, "You really don't have to worry about any of us you know."

"But I do Doc," said Roman sincerely, "Always have, always will."

Marlena looked back at Roman and felt a real sense of the familiar. Everything was so strange with John and suddenly Roman seemed like something real, something well-known and comfortable. Marlena felt a rush of nostalgia go through her being with him like this.

"Marlena," said Roman almost urgently, covering her hand with his other hand and leaning towards her, seeing how she was looking at him.

His cell phone rang then, interrupting the moment and Roman made an unhappy face.

"Answer it," said Marlena with a knowing roll of her eyes and she smiled at him affectionately.

Roman grimaced and excused himself, hurrying out of the restaurant and standing out in the garden area, just outside the door as he answered his cell.

"Roman Brady," he said abruptly into the phone, "Yeah… when… where are you? What now?"

He looked up then and looked through the glass door back to Marlena who was talking to their waiter.

"Look I'm across town right now," he said in frustration, turning back round and shaking his head.

Sometimes his job had the worst timing!

"Fine… okay… I'll be there," he said, "Give me the address… aha… aha… that's by Mill Road right? Yeah, look don't touch anything until I get there, let the crime scene guys on but hold off on the interviews okay?"

Roman made a few more arrangements with the caller and then hung up, snapping his phone shut noisily as he worked out some of his irritation on it. He felt a tap on his shoulder and spun round. Marlena was standing there with a half smile on her face. She held out a paper bag to him with a knowing arch of one eyebrow.

"I saw your face," she said calmly, "I know that look – you've got to go haven't you?"

"I'm sorry Doc," said Roman, ruefully accepting the doggy bag she'd had the foresight to have made up while he was on the phone, "Duty calls."

"Like I haven't heard that before," she said with a twinkle in her eyes, "How long were we married… how many dinners died an unnatural death in the oven or just went straight into the trash?"

"You were a saint to be married to me," agreed Roman with a little quirk of his lips at the memories.

"I was in love," she corrected him.

Roman looked at her then and there was this long moment when neither one said anything, just looked at each other.

"Well," said Marlena eventually, feeling a little flustered but trying to hide it.

She smoothed his coat jacket down a little nervously, needing something to do with her hands all of a sudden.

"You'd better get going," she said with a warm smile, "Don't want to keep everyone waiting."

"I'm sorry Doc," said Roman and she wasn't sure that it was just the broken lunch date he was referring to.

He cleared his throat then and looked away, turning back to her with a smile then.

"I'll pay for lunch," he told her, "On my way out."

"You bet you will," she teased him, "You're standing me up – you have to pay."

"What are you doing in about an hour or so?" he asked her suddenly, "Do you have patients to see?"

"Actually I was just going to catch up on some paperwork," she said and then curiously, "Why."

"Look I'll have this wrapped up in an hour, I've just got to oversee a couple of things," said Roman, "Why don't we go down to the river and take a bit of a walk together… like we used to."

"Well we haven't done that in a long time," agreed Marlena and then nodded, smiling, "That sounds lovely Roman, I'd really like that."

"It's a date then," said Roman happily looking at his watch, "Shall we say around 2:30 then?"

"2:30," agreed Marlena, "I'm going to go and finish my lunch and I'll see you then."

"I am sorry to desert you like this," said Roman regretfully, "Leave you eating alone in the restaurant."

"I'm quite used to my own company," she said calmly, "Don't worry about it Roman, you go and I'll meet you later."

"Great," grinned Roman and then leaned over and gave her cheek a kiss, "See you then."

Marlena went back to her table and her meal, seeing Roman pay for their lunches and then leave hurriedly. She finished the rest of her meal slowly, thinking about a lot of things and wondering what it was exactly that she was doing.

**oooOOOOooo**

Marlena walked out of the restaurant, taking the same route that Roman had, through the little garden that he'd taken his phone call in. She'd only taken a few steps out of the restaurant when she came across the body of a man, obviously a waiter by his clothes, stretched out in front of her, half on the path, half in garden.

"Oh my," she said, hurrying to his aid, "Are you alright?"

The man didn't answer and Marlena quickly scanned him for obvious injuries but couldn't find any. His eyes fluttered open and he gave a low groan.

"Lie still," she instructed him, "I think you've fallen or something. What's your name?"

"Edward," he groaned painfully, still looking up at her groggily as he lay there on the ground.

"It's alright Edward," she told him calmly, "I'm going to get you some help, alright? Don't you move though, stay there."

Edward made a little dazed head movement and Marlena headed off to find someone to help him. It was twenty minutes later once they'd sorted out Edward. He seemed to be more or less okay but the restaurant had called for an ambulance anyway because he seemed to be rambling a bit, going on about his drink tray amongst other things. Once she was sure everything was under control Marlena headed back to where she'd parked the car seeing as it was almost time to meet Roman now only to find her car wasn't where she'd left it.

Marlena looked about in confusion. Surely her car hadn't been stolen as well? This day was just becoming too strange. First marauding peacocks and now this… were was it going to end?

Marlena turned around, looking a bit lost as she tried to work out what to do next when she finally spotted her car across the street. There was a man in a uniform bent over beside it and Marlena hurried over to investigate. When she got closer she realised what he was doing.

"What are you doing?!" she asked in horror even though it was perfectly obvious.

"I'm putting a clamp on the wheel," said the rather hefty man nonchalantly.

He pointed a grimy finger at the handicap parking sign.

"Handicap parking," he informed her in case she couldn't read.

"But this is my car," said Marlena, "And I didn't park here!"

"Sure you didn't," said the guy sarcastically, he'd heard it all before, "So that's why I'm not clamping your car."

"But I'm telling you," protested Marlena heatedly, "I did _not_ park here! I parked across the road, I'm sure of it."

The man just looked steadily back at her, unimpressed by her denials.

"Look," began Marlena, frustrated, "I'm a doctor…"

"Then you should know better," the man interrupted her.

"Excuse me!" said Marlena highly offended, "But I do know better and I didn't park here!"

"Look lady," said the man getting fed up now, "This is your car right? It's in a handicap car park right? So I clamped it. It's that easy… I worked it out and I ain't even got a medical degree so it shouldn't be real hard for you."

"Well I want to talk to your superior," said Marlena, outraged and confused that this could be happening to her, "This is ridiculous!"

The man handed her a piece of paper with official notification of her car being impounded and where she could go to see about it being unclamped. Marlena took it and looked down at the piece of paper and for some reason just couldn't control her annoyance. Maybe it was all the tension and frustration of the last months being released, maybe it was being around John and getting use to his blunt way of handling things or maybe it was because this man was being so rude to her but Marlena wasn't going to take this lying down. In a fit of what might have been called childish rebellion she took the notice and tore it up into a hundred little pieces and threw it up in the air defiantly.

"Lady," said the man in agitation as the confettied pieces of paper rained down on him, "You've picked the wrong day and the wrong man to have a hissy fit at."

"First of all my name isn't 'lady'," Marlena corrected him angrily, "And second of all I demand you unclamp my car wheel! I did nothing wrong and I shouldn't have to pay a fine or have my vehicle impounded when I did not park here! For all I know you probably moved my car here somehow just so you could make some extra money!"

"Are you callin' me some kinda cheat?" asked the wheel clamp man, his voice starting to rise with his own anger, "Is that what you're sayin'?"

"I'm saying that I did not park here!" said Marlena, her voice as loud as his now, "And if you don't unclamp that wheel I will… I will…"

"What?" smirked the man, "What are you goin' do about it?"

Marlena's eyes narrowed dangerously at the man, unbelievably infuriated by his attitude and the situation. Impulsively she made a grab for what she assumed was the lever that was for undoing the wheel clamp that he was holding in his hand. She'd caught him off guard and she managed to get it out of his hand and she made a bee line for her clamped car wheel.

"Hey!" shouted the man, turning round and coming after her, "Stop that! Give me it back!"

Marlena was already at the clamp and was desperately trying to work out how this worked exactly. She put the level against what looked like the lock and tried pulling up and back on it, seeing if that would work. At the same time the angry wheel clamp man had come up behind her and leant down over her as she was crouched down beside the car.

"You can't do that lady!" he said angrily, "You are goin' be in so much trouble when I…"

That sentence was stopped very abruptly short when two things happened.

One, Marlena gave an almighty, last ditch desperate tug on the lever in her hand hoping it would do the trick and two, the lever slipped out of the groove she'd wedged it in. Neither of these things would have been a problem in of itself of course, except for the fact that wheel clamp man had chosen that exact some moment to lean right over her shoulder to try and retrieve his lever. The lever flew back and up with the misdirected force Marlena had applied to it try and get the clamp off and collected wheel clamp man squarely in the face. The man made a surprised pained grunting noise and fell backwards onto the ground, out cold.

Marlena looked in horror at what she inadvertently done, frozen to the spot and staring wide eyed at the now unconscious man sprawled out on the ground in front of her. Marlena stood up and grimaced.

Now _this_ was going to be difficult to explain.

**oooOOOOooo**

Marlena looked up as they called her name and gave a polite smile.

"One phone call," the desk sergeant instructed her, "Make it count."

"Thank you officer," said Marlena evenly and made her phone call.

"EJ?" she said calmly, "It's Marlena… I'm in jail and I need you to come and bail me out please."

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ hurried up the front stairs of the Salem PD and headed for the holding area. He was duly familiar with its whereabouts, having already had a couple of stints in there himself. To say that he'd been surprised to get a phone call from Marlena from here would have been what you would have called the typical understatement. Of all the people he knew Marlena Evans was the least likely to end up in a place like this and EJ's mind boggled as to what had precipitated such events. EJ walked up to the desk sergeant on duty and gave him a professional smile.

"Good afternoon Sergeant…" EJ squinted a little, focusing on the man's name badge, "…Christoff. I'm EJ DiMera, Dr Marlena Evan's attorney. I'm here to secure her release if you could just tell me what the charges are against her please?"

The sergeant flicked through his paperwork looking for her name. He was a big man, broad shoulders and a way about him that told you not to mess with him. EJ tapped his fingers on the desk as the sergeant searched for Marlena's details. Sergeant Christoff's gaze went from the paperwork in front of him to EJ's tapping fingers, just staring at them. EJ looked down at what the other man was staring at and stopped, straightening up and removing his hand from the desk top. Christoff fixed him with an unimpressed look and EJ had the feeling that he'd just been awarded a demerit point somehow even though the older man hadn't said a single word. He went back to his paper work, continuing to look for Marlena's name.

"Here it is," he said, "Evans, Marlena… charged with harassment of a city worker, assault… and littering."

"Really?!" said EJ in shock, his professional mask slipping at hearing that, "Are you sure you're looking at the right information? This is Marlena Evans we're talking about… E-V-A-N-S."

"Are you suggesting I can't spell 'Evans'?" asked the sergeant flatly, "Or maybe you don't think I know what I'm doing… is that it?"

"No of course not sergeant," said EJ quickly, not wanting to get on the wrong side of this man if he wanted to get Marlena out of there, "It's just I'm a little… well… taken aback I guess."

Sergeant Christoff just stared back at him, not sharing his shocked surprise.

"She's my mother-in-law," EJ said, feeling the need to explain for some reason, "Assault eh? Guess I'd better start being a whole lot nicer to her now."

EJ grinned, inviting the other man to join in on his little joke. Sergeant Christoff didn't, just stared back at him looking decidedly unmoved by EJ's flippancy. EJ shifted his weight from one foot to the other, seeing the man didn't share his sense of humour.

"So," he said finally, "May I see my client please?"

The sergeant wordlessly pointed him in the direction of the cells. A half an hour later both EJ and Marlena emerged from the police station and stood outside in the sunshine. Marlena turned her head towards EJ as they stood there and sent him a grateful look.

"Thank you EJ," she said sounding a little stilted but still meaning it.

The truth was she was terribly embarrassed about the whole thing and it was hard to try and regain any sense of dignity about it all. It was also a little difficult to explain how it was that she'd managed to assault a man with a metal lever… that probably wasn't going to make it into the letters she would be sending out in the Christmas cards this year!

"Of course Marlena," said EJ smoothly, "Don't mention it. You know you can call on me anytime if you need help."

"Actually on that note I was wondering if you could do the same?" she asked him a little uncomfortably, "You know… not mention this little… ah… incident to anyone."

"You're my client Marlena," said EJ firmly, "I would never breach the confidentiality that that ensures you."

"Thank you," she said again and then looked worried, "Is the man… umm… from the incident... is he alright do you know?"

"I rang the emergency department they took him to and he's just fine," EJ reassured her, "He's just got a black eye but apart from that he's fine."

"I'm so embarrassed," Marlena admitted to him painfully, "I've never done anything like this before in my life!"

"Of course you haven't," EJ said quickly, "And don't worry about the charges, I'm sure I can get them sorted out so you won't have to go to court over it all."

"I just don't know what happened," said Marlena still confused by it all, "I _know_ I didn't park in that handicap park. I would never do such a thing. I just don't understand it."

"It was probably college students thinking it was funny prank to pull to move your car," EJ tried to reassure her.

Marlena looked at her watched and realised with a start that she was nearly half an hour late to meet Roman.

"Excuse me," she mumbled to EJ, quickly going for her cell phone that had just been returned to her as she left the jail house and dialled Roman's number, seeing there were already two messages on her phone from him.

"Roman, hi," she said quickly when he answered, "I'm sorry but something has come up and I won't be able to meet you. I'm so sorry I couldn't ring you but it couldn't be avoided."

"You alright Doc?" asked Roman, hearing the agitation in her voice.

"Oh yes," she said, forcing herself to sound calm, "I'm fine, it's just something to do with work… you understand."

"I guess I can't really complain seeing as I did the same thing to you," said Roman ruefully, sounding a bit disappointed.

"I'm sorry," she said again, "Another time."

"Well that sounds real nice," said Roman, "I'm going to hold you to that Doc… I'll ring you."

"Good," said Marlena warmly, "You do that."

They said they're goodbyes and she hung up, giving EJ a slightly uncomfortable look, knowing he'd heard her lie to Roman.

"I really don't want Roman to know that I was in jail this afternoon," she said apologetically, feeling the need to justify her little white lie.

"Marlena," said EJ with a shake of his head, "You so don't have to explain yourself to me, really, it's absolutely fine. So how about we go and see about getting your car unclamped at last eh?"

"Thank you EJ," she said with an appreciative smile, "That sounds like a great idea."

EJ smiled and then drove himself and Marlena to the impound office to retrieve her car. Whilst she was filling out the last bits of paperwork EJ's cell phone rang and he excused himself, walking outside the impound office to answer it.

"EJ DiMera."

"Oh… Uncle John, hi… I…"

EJ's eyebrows shot up then as his uncle continued to speak on the other end and then he shook his head.

"Well are you alright?" he asked, "No… no… I'm not far away… I'll come get you... just try not to talk to anyone until I get there okay?"

Marlena walked out of the impound office to see EJ hanging up the phone.

"All set?" he asked her with a smile.

"Yes," she sighed, "I've paid my fine and they're unclamping my car now. I'll be able to take it in a couple of minutes."

"Excellent," said EJ, "Glad that is all sorted. Now will you be alright here Marlena? I have a little something that I must attend to."

"Of course," she nodded, "You go. I appreciated how you've dropped everything to come and help me EJ. It means a lot to me."

"We're family Marlena," he told her firmly, "There is nothing I wouldn't do for you."

Marlena smiled up at him, touched by his words. EJ excused himself then and headed for his car.

This day just kept getting more and more weird.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter SEVEN**

**JOHN'S DAY…**

EJ walked down the hallway on the second level of the DiMera mansion, on his way back from his old room. It was the bedroom he'd slept in when he and Sami's marriage had been in name only. Those days were well and truly behind them thank goodness but he still had a couple of things stored in it. He fully intended to move everything into the main bedroom he shared with Sami but just hadn't gotten around to it yet. He absently wrapped the tie he'd just retrieved from his old room around his hand as he walked back to his bedroom. John suddenly appeared from his bedroom door and EJ couldn't help but note that he was alone.

"Good morning," he said.

"Nephew," nodded John evenly, no flicker of emotion on his face.

"So how was last night Uncle John?" asked EJ with a little quirk of his lips, curiosity getting the better of him, "What did you think of the play?"

John just looked at him blankly for a long moment before speaking.

"Well," he began expressionlessly, "I admit that I don't remember much of my life before this… but I still feel pretty confident when I say that it was the most horrific night of my life."

"Oh," said EJ, trying to hide a smile, "Well I did try and tell you what the play was about but you wouldn't let me."

"Next time try harder," said John flatly, "Halfway through I was seriously considering gnawing my own arm off just to get out of there. If I want to hear women talking all nauseous about something…"

"Ad nauseam," EJ corrected him with a smile, "I think you meant to say women talking ad nauseam Uncle."

"I know what I meant," said John stoically, "And if I wanted that I could sit around here and listen to Blondie and your wife carry on about nothing for hours on end. At least I'd have my favourite chair and a Scotch in my hand while it was happening."

"Well I'm sorry the evening didn't turn out as you'd planned Uncle John," said EJ straight faced… although not as sorry he suspected as if it _had_ turned out as John had planned.

"You don't sound sorry," said John, giving him a vaguely accusing look.

"Well I don't think your pretext was an especially sound one in the first place," said EJ with an arched eyebrow, "So I'm not exactly surprised it didn't work for you Uncle John."

John considered his words for a moment, looking at EJ as he did.

"I've got the morning free," John informed him.

"Oh…" said EJ straight faced, "… did crazy cancel?"

John just looked back at him, his expression not changing one bit at EJ's playful dig.

"Sorry," said EJ ruefully, "Didn't mean to say that out loud… you were saying Uncle?"

"I've got the morning free," repeated John, "And I thought we could have that talk then."

"Oh right," said EJ, sounding less then thrilled at the prospect, "That sounds great… I can't wait."

"Right," said John, not picking up on the younger man's sarcasm, "After breakfast then?"

"Absolutely," said EJ, hoping his face wasn't showing the reluctance he was feeling, "I'll be around, just come get me when you're ready."

John nodded and headed off down the hallway to the stairs. EJ grimaced, a sex talk with John… and his day had started so well!

**oooOOOOooo**

John watched as Rolf managed to get Smokey out of the room at last - the man was not good with animals that was for sure. But then he wasn't exactly great with humans either… guess you got what you paid for there.

"Well now that the excitement is over let's get you little grubs upstairs and cleaned up," he heard EJ say and turned round to see Marlena smiling at the twins and waving them goodbye.

Marlena walked over to him and smiled up at him and he thought how beautiful she looked in the mornings and wondered yet again what it would be to wake up beside her and see her first thing in the morning. He suspected she'd be even more beautiful somehow.

"Good morning," she said with a little smile.

"Good morning," he returned her greeting.

John just stood there then, wondering what it was she wanted him to say next. He wasn't good with small talk and when he did attempt it then there was usually something new to add to Sami's list of things he was never allowed to talk about again.

"I want to thank you for last night," said Marlena, "I really enjoyed myself."

"You did?" he asked in astonishment, "Why?"

"What do you mean why?" she said a bit taken aback, "Didn't you enjoy the play?"

John looked back at her steadily and had a very strong sense that it was very important he should lie when answering that question. He found all of this business of hiding behind words to be a bit tiresome sometimes. Things were what they were and calling it by another name or spelling it or whatever didn't change the facts. John had worked out that it seemed to make people feel better if they didn't face the truth directly but rather in a sideways or round about fashion. Case in point Sami. She was fine as long as they talked about cookies or cat allergies or baseball or even S-E-X but as soon as you spoke about it directly there was suddenly another thing to add to his taboo list.

John just didn't understand what the big deal was but evidently it was a big deal to everyone else. He could tell Marlena wanted him to say that he enjoyed the play too which again, he just didn't understand. What difference did it make if he enjoyed it or not? She obviously did and that was fine. How was his enjoyment or lack thereof take away from hers? She either enjoyed it or she didn't - that simple - and what he said next shouldn't impact on that in anyway but he strongly suspected that it was going to. So John, despite his better judgement and for her sake only, met her half way.

"I laughed, I cried, it changed my life," said John stoically.

She was looking at him oddly now but he was pretty used to that look now, everyone made it around him at some point most days. He could see she was trying to work out if he was serious or not but didn't help her out any. The truth wouldn't make her feel any better which would in turn impact on him so he just stood there and waited for her to speak - it was her turn after all.

"John," said Marlena a little hesitantly, obviously giving up trying to read his expression, "If you didn't like the play then it's perfectly alright that you say so. It's fine."

John eyed her calmly for a minute.

"I find that a highly suspect statement," he informed her flatly, suspecting a trap even though she probably didn't realise she was setting it.

"What do you mean?" she asked put out, "I always want you to tell me the truth John."

"You see," said John shaking his head at her, "In my experience people say that but when it comes down to it no one likes the truth when they hear it. They just like the concept of it… not the reality."

"That's not true John," protested Marlena… wondering if that was actually true.

"Sure it is," shrugged John unconcerned, "You're just not taking any notice."

"It's my job to take notice of those kind of things," said Marlena a little indignantly.

John didn't say anything immediately, just looked back at her steadily and Marlena started to feel a little flustered under his scrutiny.

"Do you want to know the truth Blondie?" he asked her suddenly and Marlena nodded slowly, looking nervous now.

"The truth is I like to spend time with you," he told her calmly, his face giving nothing away, "You make me feel…"

"Feel what?" she asked hesitantly when he didn't immediately go on.

"Just feel," he said with a shrug, "You make me feel."

Marlena just looked at him then and John could see she was affected by his words. It looked liked he'd finally managed to say something right to her. It almost made having to sit through that god awful play worthwhile… almost. Rolf walked out from the doorway just then and John remembered something.

"Rolf," he said abruptly, "Shovel."

"Vat?" asked Rolf in confusion.

"Need shovel," he clarified, "Go get."

"John," sighed Marlena, "If you're not going to say please at least use prepositions when you ask for something would you?"

"Will that make you happy?" he asked her, fixing his gaze on her intently.

Marlena looked a little taken aback - would prepositions make her happy?

"It's just polite," she tried to explain to him, "It's not a matter of making me happy John."

"Hm," said considering that and then looking back at Rolf, "I need a shovel… please."

"Does this place even have a shovel?" asked Marlena in consternation, preferring to concentrate on the shovel rather than what John could possibly want it for.

"Oh ya," said Rolf blithely, "Zey are in za shed out in za garden Marlena. Ven Stefano vas living here I often had to use zem to bury…"

Rolf stopped short then realising he may have just said too much. Marlena was looking at him with a kind of quiet horror on her face and John just looked interested.

"I vill go und vetch vone now," he said hastily, deciding that he'd said enough.

"Oh dear," said Marlena worriedly, walking over to look out the window that looked out over the back garden, "What do you suppose Stefano had Rolf burying in the back gardens?"

"I'm guessing it wasn't treasure," said John as they both watched Rolf go out the back way and head towards the shed.

"Oh look," commented Marlena, "There's Smokey again… what's he doing?"

"Stalking Rolf by the looks of it," said John calmly, wondering idly who would win in a fight… man or peacock.

Probably depend on the man really… and on the peacock. There was something about Smokey that spoke of the killer instinct in him to John - it was possibly why he was John's favourite.

**oooOOOOooo**

John took a sip of his Scotch and considered his earlier conversation with EJ. It seemed a little too simple just to sit back and do nothing when it came to getting the girl. Besides, what did that even mean, put Marlena's wants before his own? John had the distinct impression that Blondie didn't know what she wanted other than the 'old' John back. She seemed focused on that rather than dealing with the reality that he wasn't the John she married. So how did you go about giving her what she wanted when what she wanted no longer existed anymore?

He was quite possibly in the minority but he liked who he was now. From all the stories he'd heard of the other John he sounded boring, wishy washy and to be perfectly honest, John was glad to be rid of him. So all he had to do was get Blondie to move on and see him for the man he was, let go of the old John, see him for the man he was now and fall in love with him. How hard could that be? What would it take… a couple of weeks, a month at the most for him to make it happen now that he was putting his mind to it? John felt happier now that he had a course of action to follow.

The sound of Marlena and Sami's voices in the hallway drifted over to him and he walked over to stand behind the door, totally unconcerned about eavesdropping on their conversation. After all, he needed to gain some recognisance information for his plan so he was completely justified in listening in and as it turned out it was just as well he did.

"…_Oh, well that sounds lovely but I've already got a lunch date."_

"_Really, with who?"_

"_Your father."_

"_Dad?"_

Roman!

John stiffened at this information and frowned unhappily, this was not part of the plan at all!

"… _just because we're not married anymore doesn't mean we don't like to spend some time together," her mother teased her, taking in her expression, "We do still share two beautiful children together after all."_

They shared children too!

Well apparently, John couldn't actually remember that but he'd met Belle before she'd sailed off into the sunset. He hadn't met Brady yet but everyone assured him that he existed so he supposed he had to take that at face value. But John hadn't realised that kids could count in a maintaining a relationship… interesting. John leant a little closer to the door, listening intently now.

"… _it's just John, I wouldn't think he'd be too happy about you and Dad… you know…"_

"_Firstly John doesn't control me and secondly I don't see why John would have any problems with me seeing a friend for lunch."_

"_He's not just a friend he's your ex-husband, my father." _

Alright wild cat, way to go!

She just earned herself a brownie point from him for that. John nodded approvingly at Sami's words unfortunately they didn't seem to sway Marlena.

"_Sami, I'm not sure why you're concerned about this."_

"_I just don't want to see anyone get hurt I suppose. I know things are… delicate between you and John and I don't know…"_

"_Don't worry about us Sami. We're all adults… we know what we're doing."_

"_Really? Even John?"_

Okay, just for that he was taking away the newly awarded brownie point John decided petulantly.

He continued to listen in, hearing Marlena give the name of the restaurant. Well, look like he had something to do today after all. He walked out into the hallway then, giving them a little nod.

"Ladies."

He passed EJ on the stairs.

"Elvis."

"Uncle."

As John continued up the stairs he began to mentally work out his plan of attack for the day.

**oooOOOOooo**

John shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he stood in the bushes out side The Lemongrass restaurant and peered into the large window in front of him, watching the couple sitting inside and eating lunch together. He had a good vantage point from where he was standing of the two of them. John had also discovered something he didn't know about himself… he could lip read. Now this turned out to be a most fortuitous realisation because now he could work out what they were saying to one another.

He'd been watching and lip reading there conversation back and forth. It had all seemed fairly innocuous really. Roman had been telling her about how he had plumbers coming in today to look at his drains. The name of the company was "Drains Ahoy" which he seemed to find amusing for some reason, John couldn't see the humour in it himself. Then Roman had gone on to talk about his meal with great excitement.

So is this what Blondie wanted? Talking about plumbers and steaks… was that Blondie's idea of a good time? If that was the case John was probably going to have to get another portion of his brain damaged to be able to accommodate that! This man could bore for his country. John squinted and read lips again. Now he was going on about his shoes… well it was either his shoes or his poos, it was a little hard to tell. Ironically it would actually be more interesting if it was a story about his poos that Roman was currently regaling Marlena with… so that was how John knew it was shoes. This man was as interesting as navel lint he decided.

John shook his head, unable to believe that Blondie had ever had any interest in this man. He was so… dull and unoriginal. It made him wonder yet again what kind of man he must have been for Blondie to fall for him in the first place.

Basically if this was her type then he was screwed!

John attempted to focus and go back to their conversation.

"_John would never hurt me." _

"_You don't know what he would or wouldn't do. Stefano had him brain washed and programmed to be a gorilla."_

Gorilla?

That didn't seem right… what else could it be… vanilla… tequila?

"_He hasn't shown any indication he's dangerous."_

Oh right… a killer, got it.

"_All I know is that you, Sami and my grandchildren are living in that big old house with two DiMera's and a crazy scientist. It's doesn't sit well Doc."_

"_Roman, you really don't have to worry about any of us you know."_

"_But I do Doc, always have, pig's swill."_

Hm… what was that? Some kind of expression he didn't remember anymore maybe - he'd have to ask his nephew about that one.

But never mind that - there seemed to be a lot of touching going on there between the two of them and John was not happy with that. What was all _that_ about exactly?!

The conversation came to an abrupt end then as it seemed Roman had a phone call. Very conveniently for John Roman got up and walked straight out to where John was hiding behind the shrubbery and he was able to listen in to the whole conversation without having to lip read anymore.

Apparently Roman had to leave.

YAY!

Marlena joined him and then they made plans to see each other later.

BOO!

Well this wouldn't do, lunch was one thing with people all around them but John wasn't about to let the two of them go off wandering down memory lane together. Something had to be done about this. A voice suddenly interrupted his plotting as he watched Marlena finish the rest of her lunch.

"Excuse me sir but you can't do that."

**oooOOOOooo**

**EDWARD'S DAY…**

Edward loaded up his tray with empty glasses wishing away his shift at the restaurant. It was meant to be his day off but he'd swapped with Hector because Hector had said he needed the day off to go to the dentist. It was kind of a slow day at the restaurant and the day was dragging along. It didn't help that it was a beautiful day outside either he mused fatalistically – the least it could have done was rain or something to make him feel better about spending the day indoors and serving drinks to people all day long.

A movement out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and Edward turned his head and looked out the large window that over looked the gardens to see a man, all dressed in black with his back to him, peering into the restaurant section whilst standing in a garden bed. Edward frowned and being a good employee thought he'd better deal with this before anyone else noticed. He changed course from back to the bar and headed outside the double doors that led to the gardens, still with his tray of empty glasses in his hand and walked up to the man.

"Excuse me sir," he said politely and the man turned round and regarded him expressionlessly, "You can't do that."

Edward waved with his free hand to the fact he was actually standing on a couple of flowers in the neatly manicured bed. The man looked down at the flower bed and then looked steadily back at Edward.

"Yes I can," he said, his voice strangely low and expressionless, "I'm doing it right now… see?"

Edward sighed internally whilst maintaining an outward expression of professionalism. Great, why did he always have to get all the weirdos? Hector never believed him but it was true, Edward seem to attract every freak with in a hundred mile radius.

"I meant that you _shouldn't_ do that sir," said Edward with a fixed smile.

"If that's what you meant then that was what you should have said," said the man stoically, "It would save everyone a lot of time."

"Well be that as it may sir," said Edward, his smile feeling frozen to his face as he tried to get the crazy man out of the garden, "But I'm really going to have to ask you to step out of the garden and come with me."

"No," said the older man shortly and then waved a dismissive hand at him, "Now go away, you're distracting me."

The man turned around then and went back to looking at whatever it was he was intent on looking at in the restaurant. Edward had had enough by now and walked up to the man, grabbing his arm with the hand that wasn't holding the drinks tray and making him turn around again.

"I'm sorry sir but I'm really going to have to insist you come with me," said Edward firmly, "Or I'll be forced to call the police."

The man cocked his head at him, regarding him expressionlessly for a long moment which was making Edward increasingly uncomfortable.

"What's your name?" he asked suddenly.

"Ed… Edward," he replied, not sure why he was telling this weirdo his name but he seemed a pretty hard man to say no to for some reason.

"Edward," said the man calmly, looking at the tray of empty drinks he was carrying, "… may I borrow a straw?"

**oooOOOOooo**

John carefully closed and locked Marlena's car door after having moved it into the handicap parking place. He then pulled out his phone and place a call to the city council anonymously complaining about a car parked in a handicap car park outside The Lemongrass restaurant.

Well that was one problem sorted - that should slow Blondie down a bit.

John walked back to his car, taking a seat in it and then dialling up information.

"Can I have the number for 'Drains Ahoy'?" he asked.

He hung up and dialled the number he was given.

"Hi," he said, "This is Roman Brady - I'm just ringing to check what time to expect your plumbers? Right - and just checking the address, what do you have… 13 Cardwell Avenue, yes that's right."

John hung up and checked his watch. Looks like he had at least an hour before the plumbers were due to arrive at Roman's. Plenty of time to go and do a little recon around at Roman's and see what he could find out about the man who was vying for Blondie's affection. He'd seen it in the way the other man had been looking at he and he wanted to know what he was up against.

After all, know thy enemy.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ climbed the steps to the Salem police station, experiencing a strong sense of déjà vu as he did. He walked up to the front counter and gave a grimacing smile at Sergeant Christoff who looked up from his paperwork and gave him the once over.

"Me again," said EJ brightly, "We'll have to stop meeting like this, people will say we're in love."

The sergeant just looked back at him, not a single flicker of emotion on his face what so ever.

"I'm here for my uncle," said EJ when it became obvious the man was just going to keep on staring at him.

Mental note - this man had no sense of humour - must remember that.

"John Black," EJ told him putting on his best professional manner now seeing as some light jesting wasn't cutting it, "And if you could tell me what he's being held for sergeant as well."

The officer gave him a last dark look and then went back to his paperwork, flicking through the various pages and this time EJ knew better than to rush him.

"Black, John," he said finally, "Breaking and entry."

Sergeant Christoff looked up then and eyed EJ's expression of quiet resignation.

"No protests of innocence?" he asked flatly.

"Not with this one," grimaced EJ, "In fact I'm surprised that there aren't more charges to be perfectly honest."

EJ gave a bit of a laugh then, inviting the sergeant to partake in his little joke but then he remembered… no sense of humour.

"So same place again?" sighed EJ, "To see my client I mean."

The sergeant just nodded and EJ headed off to see John. After talking to John and getting the full story, although EJ suspected that he was missing out a few pertinent details somewhere along the line, he had managed to organise as he'd done for Marlena for John to be released into his care. The two men stood at Sergeant Christoff's desk and filled out the last of the paperwork.

"So you two will be together then?" asked the desk sergeant flatly.

"Yes."

"No."

The officer looked between the two men and arched an eyebrow.

"Yes we're together," said EJ with what he hoped was a reassuring smile for the benefit of the now suspicious looking Sergeant.

"No we're not," interject John blithely.

EJ bit his lip, a pained expression on his face.

"Could I have just one minute with my client alone please officer?" said EJ, holding up one finger and giving the man a hopeful look.

Sergeant Christoff crossed his arms in front of his chest and just stared steadily back at EJ which he went ahead and took as a yes. EJ took John's arm and steered him over into the corner.

"Uncle John," he said in frustration, his voice low, "_What_ are you doing? I'm trying to get you out of jail!"

"But you told me to tell people we're not together," protested John, confused now.

"Well you weren't being released into my custody then," said EJ in exasperation, "_Now_ we're together!"

"Well you just blow hot and cold don't you?" said John, looking a little miffed now.

"Just tell him that you'll be with me Uncle John," sighed EJ, "Can you do that for me… please?"

"No wonder it took you and my step daughter so long to get together," said John disgruntled now, thinking he'd been doing the right thing, "You're all over the place."

EJ opened his mouth to protest but John was already walking back towards the front counter with the increasingly impatient desk sergeant at it so EJ followed him.

"We're together," he announced flatly to the other man and then sent EJ a vaguely accusing look, "Apparently it's alright to say that here but not when we're checking into a hotel room together - work that one out if you can!"

"Oh god," groaned EJ quietly and just shook his head.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ walked down the stairs later that evening to find both John and Marlena quietly reading. John with his usual newspaper and Marlena deeply engrossed in her own book. EJ wondered to himself if either had mentioned their days excitement to the other. EJ found it highly improbable that they had which meant he had to be very careful what he said around each of them so as not to break the other's confidences. Funny how the events of a single day could further complicate an already complicated situation.

"Did you manage to settle Johnny?" asked Marlena with a smile, looking up from her book as he walked in.

"Yes," nodded EJ, "I think he's just a little unsettled because he's teething now."

"You should just tell Boy Baby all the good things about teeth," said John, "You know, make it worth his while to go the inconvenience of teething."

"He's a baby Uncle John," said EJ with a roll of his eyes, "You can't really explain to him those kind of things."

"Says you," shrugged John, "When I was looking after them yesterday I told both Boy Baby and Girl Baby I wouldn't be changing any diapers and they came to the party on that. You should try reasoning with them sometime, it might make yours and wifey's life a lot easier."

"First of all I'm not sure I need to be taking parenting advice from a man who can't even remember his last hair cut," said EJ in vague exasperation, "And second, I'm pretty sure that was just a coincidence with the nappy changing and the twins rather than an act of self control on their behalf because you asked them to.

"Says you," said John unfazed by EJ's censure, "I'm just saying you shouldn't treat them like a babies all the time."

"But they _are_ babies!" protested EJ, not knowing why he was even pursuing this ridiculous conversation, "They're nine months old!"

EJ looked over at Marlena, silently pleading for some help with this one. Marlena gave him a sympathetic smile and decided discretion was the better part of valour.

"You know I had a strange thing happen to me today," she said, abruptly changing the subject sensing that John wasn't going to be swayed on this point.

"Really?" asked EJ, arching an eyebrow at her, wondering if she was going to come clean about her little jail stint to John but waiting to see where she was going with this.

"Yes," she said evenly, "I was having lunch with a friend…"

There was just the slightest hesitation over the word friend before continuing on smoothly.

"… and when I came out of the restaurant to leave I found one of the waiters semi-conscious on in the garden," she informed them all.

"Really?" said EJ again, this being news to him, "What happened? Did he say?"

"Well he seemed a little disorientated and confused," mused Marlena, "He wasn't making a lot of sense… kept going on about standing on flowers and a man wanting a straw."

"A straw?" repeated EJ, suddenly very suspicious, sending his uncle a speculative look.

John was just sitting there impassively, no indication that he knew anything about of what they were talking which EJ was beginning to find highly unlikely. Suddenly Marlena's car trouble seemed to make sense and he shook his head. Clearly none of his talk had sunk in at all!

"Yes, I know," laughed Marlena, "It's so bizarre. Fancy saying you were assaulted by someone with a straw… like that's even possible."

"Indeed," said EJ dryly, sending John a sideways look, "Totally impossible of course."

"So what time did Sami say she'd be home from visiting Chelsea?" she asked, changing the subject again.

"Well Samantha shouldn't be too far away," said EJ checking his watch, "She told you she'd only be an hour or so and it's just gone that now."

Just then EJ's cell phone rang and he flipped it open, a smile spreading across his face when he saw the caller ID.

"Speak of the devil," he announced happily and putting the phone to his ear.

"And the devil appears," said John dryly but EJ ignored him.

"Hello sweetheart," he said, "I was just thinking about yo…"

EJ was interrupted by his wife's garbled voice on the other end of the phone.

"Samantha," he said a bit worriedly, "Slow down sweetheart, I can't understand what you're saying… are you alright?"

EJ listened as Sami calmed down a bit and started again.

"Oh," he said calmly, smiling at John and Marlena reassuringly, as they'd both turned to look at him enquiringly, "Of course that isn't a problem at all sweetheart… I'll come and get you… don't worry about anything, I'll be right there."

EJ hung up and gave a little grimace.

"Samantha's broken down beside the road on the way home," he informed them both, "I'm just going to go and pick her up."

"Oh," said Marlena in surprise, "Is she alright?"

"Yes, just in a bit of a flap," said EJ calmly, "Do you mind Marlena… looking after the twins for a little longer for us?"

"Of course not," said Marlena quickly, "You go. I don't like the thought of Sami standing beside a road by herself."

"Thank you," said EJ and quickly made his way out of the house and into his car.

EJ sat in the car for a moment and shook his head.

There was a growing amount of love in their house he decided as he started the car but there were also a growing amount of lies as well.

EJ pulled out of the driveway and headed off to collect Samantha… the strangeness of the day only continuing to grow.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter EIGHT**

**JOESPH MILLER'S DAY…**

John carefully eased the window over the kitchen sink at 13 Cardwell Avenue open and climbed through it. Roman had a pretty advanced home security system in place but John had found it easy enough to over ride. He stood in the kitchen and looked around, surveying his surroundings. Well the guy certainly liked to keep a neat kitchen, he'd give him that. It was absolutely spotless, maybe Roman had a cleaner or something because he didn't seem the type to spend all day scrubbing away at tiles and sinks somehow.

John walked out of the kitchen and into the living room. John's eyebrow arched at seeing the giant screen TV and sound system hooked up. It wasn't as impressive as his of course but still, it was a little more sophisticated than John would have given him credit for. Time to check out Roman's taste in DVD's. There was a whole cabinet full of them and John pulled out a few.

"Donny Does Dallas"… "Bobby Goes Bareback"… "Forrest Hump"

Okay then, the man had a taste for the exotic - interesting. Guess he did get excited about more than just plumbing and steaks after all. John wondered where all the women were in the pictures on the cover and then shrugged - guess you had to watch for that. John put back the DVD's and kept looking around. There was a lot of artwork on the walls and scattered about were statuettes and figurines. He stopped in front of one large one standing in a corner. It was kinda arty looking but it was more or less to figures entwined, their lower halves melting into one another. John didn't know if he really liked it - and by the by - that was the most flat-chested woman he'd ever seen hugging the other figure. In fact, if he didn't know better he'd would have said they were two guys!

John turned round and saw another little figurine on the coffee table. This time it was definitely two men and they seemed to be playing leap frog or something. Again it was pretty arty so it was a bit hard to tell. Who knew Roman would be this into 'objet d'art' wondered John. Just goes to show, never judge a book by it's cover which was why John was here in the first place - he wanted to flick through a few of Roman's pages to see what he was dealing with here. After having gotten the lay of the land downstairs John headed upstairs.

Joseph Miller juggled his grocery bags as he struggled to open his back door with his arms full. He managed it and then quickly deposited the bags onto the kitchen counter and turned round. That was when he noticed the open window above the kitchen sink and froze. He knew he hadn't left that open when he left - he was quite anal about those kind of things. He quickly went to his security panel and noticed that none of the lights were on. Whoever had left his window open had somehow managed to deactivate his extremely expensive alarm system at the same time. Well "Always Alert" was going to be getting a strongly worded letter from him over this little incident to be sure!

A noise upstairs alerted Joseph to the fact that the burglar was still in the house and his heart gave a painful lurch in his chest. That was if he wasn't murdered in his own home of course! Joseph quickly went to his car keys and pressed the panic button on it that was wired directly to the alarm company, bypassing the home security system. Well that meant the police would be on there way now but in the meantime he had some lunatic in his house! Maybe he should wait outside until the police arrived? Then Joseph remembered that all of his jewellery was stashed up on the second floor and decided to take matters into his own hands.

He hurried out into the living room and picked up a statue as a weapon but then quickly put it down again - that was a particular favourite of his - no sense in risking it being damaged at all was there? He scouted around and found a less beloved piece and now armed, went to bravely face down the interloper who seemed to think he could just waltz in here and take what he wanted.

Joseph crept up the stairs, his heart hammering painfully in his chest as he made his way to confront the intruder. The door to his bedroom was ajar and he could hear someone moving around in there so he tried to be as quiet as he could and tip toed over to the door. Joseph tighten his grip on "Man amore" and swallowed hard, deciding to use the element of surprise to catch his thief of guard.

Joseph leapt through the door, making a garbled banshee cry as he did and brandished the statue in what he hoped was a threatening manner above his head. The intruder had been standing at his closet and he just simply turned around and stared at him with a completely unmoved expression on his face. Joseph stood there, frozen to the spot, statue raised above his head and realised that he didn't really have a game plan after the grand entrance.

"What are you doing?" asked the intruder, his voice low and gravelly sounding.

"I'm scaring you so you'll stop what you're doing," offered up Joseph a little uncertainly now.

"Well let me know when you're about to start," said John straight faced.

Joseph lowered the statue from above his head and looked back at the man who had a disconcerting habit of not blinking. He was quite tall and well built, broad shoulders and strong looking hands Joseph noted as the intruder calmly put down the book he'd been holding down onto Joseph's beside table. He was all dressed in black and looked to be in his late forties, early fifties maybe. His face had a kind of lived quality to it that wasn't without it's attractiveness. Joseph eyed him up and down, silently summing him up. All in all he had quite the bear thing going on with those rugged looks, hairy arms and what looked like a chest and that deep voice.

"So who are you?" asked the intruder suddenly.

"I… I'm Joseph," he said, a little uncertain why he was answering the man considering he was the one being broken into here.

"So Joe," the man said flatly, "What are you doing here?"

"I… I live here," offered up Joseph warily.

The man looked around the room and then back at Joseph.

"Alone?" he asked.

Joseph arched an eyebrow at that. This wasn't the weirdest pick up he'd ever had but it came close.

"Yes," he said with a nod.

This information seemed to puzzle the man and he looked around again before fixing Joseph with a searing gaze.

"I'm looking for a man," he informed him evenly.

"Oh sweetheart," said Joseph with a roll of his eyes, "Aren't we all!"

The man frowned a little at that.

"A specific man," he continued on, "I thought this was his house - the guy gave me the wrong address."

"Oh," said Joseph with a wave of his hand now, putting down the statue as he walked more into the room, "Honey, I've been _there_ before. I've been given all sorts of fake addresses over the years… and given my fair share of them out as well I have to say!"

Joseph gave him a knowing wink then, not sure why he wasn't more afraid of this stranger in his house but instead finding a growing kinship with him.

"Did you meet him in a bar or something?" he asked sympathetically.

"It was a restaurant," John corrected him, "And it wasn't me, it was Blondie who met with him."

"Oh right," said Joseph, things becoming clear now to him, "So your Blondie is off cheating with another man and you thought you should do something about that huh? Check out the competition, is that it?"

"Yeah," nodded the man, "That's it."

"Well I understand completely," said Joseph, "I've been there myself."

Joseph walked over and took a seat on the bed, crossing his legs and leaning in towards the man in a conspiratorial fashion, seeming to want to have a bit of a chat now.

"I was dating this Peter once," he began and gave a disdainful wave of his hands, "Absolutely gorgeous but like all gorgeous people… don't they know it! They think it gives them carte blanche to do whatever they want. Is Blondie good-looking?"

"Yeah," said John, coming to sit down beside Joseph on the bed, "A real stunner."

"All you can think of day and night?" asked Joseph knowingly.

"Yeah," nodded John, thinking this guy was particularly insightful for some reason.

"You've been together for awhile now?" suggested Joseph - this was such an old story!

"So I've been told," nodded John.

"And don't tell me, you've been having a few problems lately," said Joseph with a wise look.

"Well Blondie doesn't really like my peacocks," mused John.

Joseph paused then and frowned a little… he'd never heard them called _that_ before. Joseph shook his head and pressed on.

"Look…" he paused then, realising he didn't even know the man's name yet.

"John," the other man supplied readily.

"Look John," he said calmly, "All relationships have their ups and downs. You just have to work out if this Blondie is really worth it."

"I've been thinking about that," said John with a considered look, "I the answer is yes, definitely."

"So it's the real thing then?" asked Joseph feeling a little flutter - he was always such a romantic at heart.

"It's the most real thing in my life Joe," said John calmly, realising that it was true.

"That is so sweet," sighed Joseph and then laid a hand on his knee, "Why can't there be more men like you in the world?"

"Really?" said John, a little surprised, "Everyone I know keeps wanting me to change."

"Oh sweetheart," said Joseph, patting his knee affectionately, "Don't you go changing a single hair on that manly chest of yours my darling."

John looked down at his chest and then back at Joseph who was smiling at him encouragingly.

"Thanks Joe," he said, feeling a bit better all of a sudden, "You're the first person to ever say that to me… well since the coma anyway."

"You were in a coma?" said Joseph, intrigued.

"That's the word on the street," John confirmed, "Don't really remember it myself."

"Well I suppose you wouldn't," agreed Joseph, nodding agreeably.

"So how did it turn out?" asked John suddenly, "With you and that Peta?"

"Ug!" grimaced Joseph, "Badly! Here's some advice for you honey, if you're going to have a showdown with someone try not to do it in somewhere that has a lot of breakables - it's not only bulls that shouldn't be allowed in china shops you know… the same goes for bitches as well!"

John made a short little grunting sound which Joseph wondered was meant to be a laugh.

"You're a funny guy Joe," he said approvingly.

"Why thank you John," he said with a smile, "It's been a while since someone said that to me too."

There was a sudden noise downstairs and then the sound of a man's voice.

"Police! We're armed!"

"Oh!" said Joseph in horror, putting his hand to his mouth, "I forgot, I pushed my panic button when I came into the house and it automatically calls the police."

"Hm," said John, not seeming to be fazed by it all.

"I'll go and explain," said Joseph, "You stay here."

Thirty minutes later Joseph's explanations hadn't seemed to cut it and John found himself sitting in a holding cell waiting for EJ to arrive after he called him with his one phone call. Joseph walked in through the door, smiling politely at the police man standing there on guard before hurrying on over to where John had just stood up.

"I'm am so sorry," he said, holding onto the bars that separated them, "I tried to get them to let you out but apparently there is paper work now even though I'm not planning on pressing charges."

"That's fine Joe," said John expressionlessly, "I called home and the lawyer is on his way - I'm going to be out of here soon."

"Oh," said Joseph, "So you actually live together huh? And he's a lawyer."

"Yeah," John confirmed, "It has its uses."

"So it would seem," agreed Joseph, "You know honey, I've been thinking about your situation and maybe this isn't the best way to go about it when it comes to Blondie. Breaking into other people's houses is only going to end up badly… case in point, look where you are right now. I know we've talked about this but are you really sure this Blondie person is worth it."

"You sound like my nephew Elvis now," said John flatly, "He said that I should just let Blondie come to me."

"Well maybe your nephew has a point," reasoned Joseph, "I mean, look how it turned out for Peter and me - you don't want that and a $2000 repair bill at the end of it all do you?"

Joseph suddenly noticed that John was looking over his shoulder and through the open door out into the booking area.

"Looks like I'm nearly out of here anyway," noted John, nodding his head to where he could see EJ talking with the burly officer behind the front counter.

Joseph turned around to finally see this mysterious Blondie that he'd heard so much about and then he had to grab at the bars of the cell to steady himself as he swooned a little.

_Oh my god - that was the most gorgeous creature he'd ever seen in his life!_

Joseph stared wide eyed at the very tall, dark haired man standing at the counter. Even side on he was breath taking and my god - look at that ass!

"I've changed my mind," said Joseph urgently, turning back to face John, "Do what you have to do to keep this one - kill, maim, disembowel whatever but do not, I repeat - do NOT let this one get away!!"

"Really?" asked John, taken aback by his abrupt about face and wondering why the sudden change of heart.

"Absolutely!" said Joseph with great certainty, "Some things are just worth the risk if you ask me and this sweetie is _definitely_ worth the risk!"

"Thanks Joe," said John, appreciating the other man's enthusiasm on his behalf, even though it seemed a little over the top seeing as he didn't even know Marlena but it was nice to get some encouragement rather than the usual censure.

"Well," said Joseph regretfully, "I really have to go John, I hate to leave you like this but I've made plans that I just can't break."

"Don't worry about it Joe," said John, "You've been most… enlightening… thanks."

"Anytime," said Joseph and patted John's hand that was holding on to the cell bar, "And I do hope everything works out for you and your Blondie."

"It will," said John with great certainty.

"That's the spirit," said Joseph, "Well, if you ever need anything or just want to say hi - you know where I live after all!"

He gave a little laugh then and John actually joined in… if you accepted that strange noise in the back of his throat as being a laugh of course. Joseph gave him a last reluctant look and a wave and then turned around to walk out the jail. As he did he met Blondie coming the other way. If possible the man got even more gorgeous the closer they got. Joseph wondered idly how he'd gotten the nickname Blondie because his hair was so dark and even his skin was a delectable tanned colour - maybe it was meant to be an ironically affectionate title. Joseph determinedly ignored the man's gorgeousness though as he decided it was time to speak out on his new found friends behalf.

"You," said Joseph accusingly, stalling the man as he went to walk past him, "Should be ashamed of yourself!"

"I should be?" asked the man with a confused frown, "And why might that be exactly, just out of curiosity?"

_Oh dear god that accent!_

Joseph practically passed out at the sound of his rich, English accent washing over him. This man was the living end! The long, tall streak of deliciousness was looking at him expectantly and Joseph tried frantically to remember how to speak.

"That man in there," said Joseph, jabbing a finger back towards the cell door, "Would do anything for you know!"

"You don't know the half of it," said EJ ironically, thinking back to how fantastic John had been in New Orleans, "You should see what he can do with a straw and then you'll really be amazed."

"Really?" asked Joseph, sounding very intrigued now.

"I'm sorry," said EJ with a little shake of his head, "And you are?"

"Joseph Miller," he announced.

"Oh," said EJ, taken aback, "You're the man house that was broken into."

"That's right!" said Joseph almost defiantly.

"So, sorry," said EJ, still confused, "How do you two know each other exactly?"

"Oh not so nice now when the shoe is on the other foot is it?" asked Joseph smugly, "Maybe you should think of that next time you go sneaking off to restaurants with other people!"

With that, Joseph gave a triumphant flounced and marched out of the police station, head held high.

"Ah… nice meeting you!" EJ called out after him a little dazedly, not sure what else to say.

His uncle seemed to attract crazy like bees to the honey!

EJ kept on walking then until he was standing in front of John's cell.

"Well I just met your new friend Joseph Miller," EJ informed him.

"He's great isn't he?" asked John happily.

"Well you certainly seem to have a new fan in him that's for certain," said EJ wryly.

EJ sighed then and looked around at his uncles surrounds.

"Okay," he said, bracing himself, "Let's do this then - why were you caught breaking into your new BFF's house today?"

"Joe had a panic button he carried on him," John explained, "I couldn't over ride that when I turned the security system off for the rest of the house."

"Not how Uncle John," said EJ between clenched teeth, "Why! Why were you even there in the first place?!"

"I wasn't," said John stoically, "I mean I was but I wasn't meant to be."

"I'm sorry," said EJ grimacing, "But I'm going to have to buy a vowel here Uncle - what does that mean."

"Blondie and Roman had lunch together today," he said.

"Oh," said EJ, "Interesting but still doesn't explain…"

"He wants her," said John flatly.

"Roman does?" said EJ and then sighed, "I guess I can believe that but I'm still waiting to hear what… oh wait… Roman lives at 13 Wardell Street… is that where you meant to break into uncle - to Roman's house?"

"Wardell Street?" repeated John in annoyance, "The plumbing place told me Cardwell Street when I rang!"

"You rang them?" said EJ, "What plumbing place?"

"Drains Ahoy - going to fix Roman's drains," said John shortly, "So I went and rang them, told them I was him and got them to confirm the address so I could find out where Roman lived."

"But they told you the wrong address," said EJ, finally understanding, "Hence your new friendship with one Joseph Miller was born - I see."

"So can I pursue some legal action over that?" asked John seriously, "The plumbing company I mean?"

"You know," said EJ straight faced, "Seeing as you gained the information by falsely identifying yourself and then went on to use that information commit a crime I'm going to lean towards a 'no' to that question."

"Oh," said John sounding disappointed, "I think I'll still send them a strongly worded letter anyway."

"Please don't Uncle John," she EJ in quiet resignation, "If you could, just let it be."

"Fine," he grumped, "So can I get out of here or what?"

"I have to make a few arrangements but it looks like Mr Miller isn't pressing charges so that should make life a lot easier," EJ informed him, "After that we just have to fill out some paper work and then I'm sure we'll be able to go."

"Good," said John flatly, "Oprah's on soon and I don't want to miss it. Today it's about cellulite."

EJ tilted his head, a little uncertain if John was joking or not.

"I was just wondering uncle," he said calmly, "Did anything we talked about this morning in regards to Marlena and how to handle your relationship with her sink in at all? Or did I just waste half an hour of my life that I'm never going to get back?"

"I guess only time will tell," said John calmly, "Now run along and get this sorted will you, I don't want to miss the beginning of my show."

EJ just grimaced and shook his head, wondering why he wasn't more used to this by now.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter NINE**

**SAMANTHA'S DAY…**

Sami's orgasm woke her and she half sat up in bed, shuddering helplessly as her body throbbed and pulsated wildly. She propped herself up on her elbows and to see her husbands dark head between her legs, intent on devouring her utterly and she groaned in ecstasy, flopping back on the bed and letting him have what he wanted from her.

When he was finally done and Sami was nothing but a mass of quivering nerve endings he released her from his mouth and moved up her body, pushing her legs further apart and wordlessly mounting her. Her body took him effortlessly, already so slick from what he'd done for her that it was easy for her to take him in one hard thrust. He drove all of himself deep into her, again and again, his urgency making the bed shake as he found his rhythm inside of her. EJ pushed the material of negligee up so that her breast were bare for him to enjoy. He moved over her more fully so that he could enjoy the feel them against his chest, making soft groaning noises at the sensation.

Sami loved moments like these, when her own passion had been temporarily sated and she could watch him in the throes of his, not distracted by her own raging need. He was beautiful to behold, handsome face twisted in an expression of wonder and exquisite pleasure and always she could see his love for her behind those chocolate eyes, behind the want and need.

His breath was coming in ragged gasps as his body took her fiercely and she adored every moment of his possession of her, arching her back and grabbing his bottom cheeks, forcing him deeper into her. One final hard thrust into her and she felt him give into the lure of her body and then the sensation of his hot seed being pumped into her and she gave a happy shudder.

"Sa…Samantha!" he groaned at his last, his hips still working frantically to give her all that he had for her of his maleness.

She stroked his back and waited for him to be finished, enjoying the sounds of his gasping grunts of release while she did. EJ collapsed onto of her, keeping himself inside of her as he waited for his senses to return to him.

"So," she said, looking up at him with a teasing smile, "Am I to take it from that little display that you've forgiven me for last night?"

EJ gave a groaning laugh into her shoulder, shifting some of his weight off her as he still lay on top of her.

"I'm thinking about it," he said, his voice still rough as he lifted his head to look down at her, "On one condition…"

"What's that?" she asked him impishly.

EJ moved inside of her a little, his thickness still pleasing to her despite his recent release.

"That you come at least one more time before you get out of this bed," he purred the order to her.

Sami stretched out, her arms above her head and clenched down around him hard, feeling his shaft twitch approvingly inside of her.

"Oh I think that can be arranged," she said throatily, beginning to move her hips and sliding herself up and down his length, encouraging him to return to his former hardness.

"That's my girl," he groaned happily, letting her coax his body back into life so they could begin again.

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami walked out into the hall to go and fetch the twins to take them down for breakfast. As she did she noticed EJ and John talking further down the hallway.

"_Sorry, didn't mean to say that out loud… you were saying Uncle?"_

"_I've got the morning free and I thought we could have that talk then."_

"_Oh right, that sounds great… I can't wait."_

"_Right, after breakfast then?"_

She only caught a fragment of the conversation but her curiosity was instantly peaked, wondering what it was that the two men might have to talk about. With John it could seriously be anything. EJ joined her a few minutes later in the kitchen and helped her organise the twins for their breakfast. She had wedding things on her mind and wanted to talk to EJ about them.

"I mean I don't know if I even want to have all of those people at our wedding," sighed Sami, "It's not like all of them are thrilled we're still married is it?"

Sami went to feed Johnny another spoonful but he didn't want it, screwing up his face at her so she let him be.

"… and even if I did want them there I'm not sure it's a good idea because those people who aren't going to accept this marriage are never going to, no matter how many times we get married so I'm thinking, why bother with them at all."

Sami looked over to EJ to get his opinion on who they should be considering to invite to the wedding which was rapidly approaching seeing it was already two days into October. However it quickly became clear that he possibly didn't have an opinion on the subject as he was just openly staring at her breasts and she knew that look on his face, he was definitely not thinking about seating arrangements right then!

"EJ!"

EJ started and looked up and Sami gave him with a vaguely annoyed look.

"Are you listening to me EJ?" she asked him in mild exasperation, "Or ogling my boobs?"

"Boobs," he admittedly freely with a lopsided smile, "Definitely the boobs but I was still listening to you sweetheart."

"You have a one track mind," complained Sami.

She tried to sound cross with him but the truth was the way he was looking at her was making her tingle all over, especially in the areas that he'd already seen a fair amount of attention from him this morning. There was possibly something seriously wrong with her because she just couldn't seem to get enough of him although thankfully he seemed to share the same affliction. They bantered back and forth a bit until she reminded him about his mystery meeting with John which seemed to wipe the smirk off his face pretty quickly which just made her even more determined to find out what the story was. However that was going to have to wait because she had a different agenda for today.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ and Sami walked up the stairs, carrying the twins with them to get cleaned up after breakfast. Sami could hear John and her Mom talking in the living room.

"_Good morning."_

"_Good morning."_

"_I want to thank you for last night. I really enjoyed myself."_

"_You did… why?"_

"It sounds like their evening was interesting," observed Sami as they continued up the stairs and out of earshot of the older couples conversation.

"I think they'd have to go a long way to be as interesting as our night out was," commented EJ dryly.

"Aren't you over that yet?" she asked, sounding a bit defensive now.

"Sweetheart it happened less than ten hours ago," he informed her with a little laugh, "And it _was_ quite spectacular."

"You're making it sound worse than it actually was," she protested, handing him Ali so she could get both of the twins cloths laid out for the day.

"Samantha," said EJ wryly, taking turns at smiling at each twin that he had on both hips, "I have no need to embellish our evening with Nicole. No one's going to believe the story as it is… it's just as well we've got witnesses."

"Witnesses?" snorted Sami, "You make it sound like someone died."

"It came pretty close there," said EJ with a quirk of his lips and then looked down and addressed the twins, "Yes your Mummy was in fine form last night my little darlings. Although…"

EJ looked up then and ran his eyes all over Sami then, a sexy smile on his lips.

"… your mother is _always_ in fine form," he finished off cheekily.

"Don't start," she warned him but didn't sound very serious about it.

"Certainly not," agreed EJ quickly, "Starting would imply that I would have stopped at some point and I never intend stopping in my appreciation of the gloriousness that is my lovely wife."

"EJ," she sighed, shaking her head at him but her lips had curved up into a little pleased at the way he was looking at her so adoringly.

"There is one really tragic thing about last night though," he mused, pursing his lips regretfully.

"Which is?" asked Sami, as she finished laying out the last of the twins clothes.

"Their salt and pepper calamari on that garlic polenta bed was simply fantastic," sighed EJ with a wistful sigh, "What a shame I'll never be able to taste it again."

"Oh please," said Sami with a roll of her eyes at his dramatics, "It's not like we're banned for life or anything."

"Actually sweetheart I think that was the inference intended when they asked us to leave and never come back," he told her indulgently.

"Oh that's just something people say in the heat of the moment," she dismissed easily.

"Yes," agreed EJ humorously, "Just like - 'Quick, someone call a paramedic!'"

Sami narrowed her eyes at him menacingly as he continued to tease her about last night.

"The woman was fine EJ," she bit out, feeling pretty bad about it all but not wanting to give him any more ammunition.

"Mm," agreed EJ straight faced as he put Ali down on the change table first so she could be cleaned up, "More good luck then good management on that front eh sweetheart?"

"Ali honey," said Sami sweetly, leaning down to put her face in level with her daughter's who was listening to the goings on with interest, "Can you hurry up and learn to speak so you can tell your Daddy that if he doesn't drop it soon he's going to be back in his old bedroom before he can turn around."

"Johnny my boy," said EJ, impersonating her teasingly, "Can you hurry up and learn to speak so you can tell your Mummy that it's going to take more than a couple of doors to keep me out of her bed."

"EJ!" she admonished him, trying her best to sound annoyed with him.

"Samantha," he mimicked back and then very quickly reached round beside her and gave her bottom a playful smack.

Sami squeaked and gave him a mocked outraged look, rubbing her backside as she did. The twins thought that this was hysterical and both of them burst into great belly laughs which set EJ and Sami off too.

"Don't you two encourage him," she threatened Ali and Johnny with a wagging finger even as she laughed along with them, "He's enough of a rogue as it is!"

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami checked her watch quickly before walking into the living room where her mother and John were sitting reading together.

"Well the twins are settled and I'm heading off," she said, "Thanks for doing this for me Mom."

"That's alright sweetie," said Marlena, "You just have a nice time with your cousin."

"I will," said Sami quickly, feeling a little guilty now, "I won't be very late I promise."

"That's fine honey," said Marlena, "I'm sure the twins will sleep through now and besides, EJ can't be too far away."

"Okay then," said Sami quickly, "I'd better get going then."

Sami left the house and hurried off to her car, driving off but didn't go very far. In fact she just went to the laneway beside the mansion and waited, checking her watch again. Any minute now… sure enough, another car pulled out of the DiMera mansion, right on cue. Apparently it wasn't only the Germans that could be relied on to keep good time - the Austrians were no slouches in the area either. Sami put her car in gear and being careful to hang back a little began to follow the other car. A curiosity that had started as a niggle for Sami and then had steadily grown into a full blown need to know situation.

Just what exactly was it that Rolf did every Monday and Thursday night between 7 and 9pm?

Sami was going mad with the wondering. It was hard to imagine what interests this strange man might have really. She hadn't even considered asking Rolf, just assuming he'd lie to her anyway so that had left her with only one option… following him. She knew EJ would disapprove so she'd simply omitted telling him. He didn't seem interested at all about what Rolf got up to when he wasn't at the mansion so he never needed to know about her little fact finding mission.

She continued to follow Rolf into the centre of town and then just a few streets over. Sami didn't really know the neighbourhood and carefully parked out of view of where he'd parked. Watching him from across the street she saw Rolf go into a big building that had no signage on the front to say what it was. It looked like it may have been an office building at one stage but it was doubtful that it still was. Once she was sure he was inside she ran across the street to the side door which Rolf had just entered through. The only lights on in the building were on the second floor so it didn't take a genius to work out where he was heading.

As Sami walked through the doors and started up the internal staircase she tried to imagine what was going on up there. Some kind of support group for ex-evil scientists maybe? Or maybe he was running secret experiments away from the mansion, unbeknownst to them all. Or maybe he was even meeting with Stefano. That random thought stopped her mid stride up the stairs. Why hadn't _that_ occurred to her before now?! Sami grimaced, feeling like she'd come this far and not wanting to stop now but the thought that Stefano might just be a few feet away gave her pause for thought. She shook her head then, reminding herself that Rolf had been the one to help EJ find Johnny. His allegiance no longer seemed to be to Stefano so Sami just pressed on determinedly.

Sami came to the top of the internal staircase and cautiously opened the door that led out onto the second floor of the building. There was a long corridor with a series of doors dotted along it. She frowned and walked out into the corridor and looked around. There was nothing very particular to suggest what might be going on behind the doors for her to notice. The only thing that stood out was a particularly large white sculpture that stood just to her left at the end of the corridor which the stairs brought her up at. It was taller than she was and kind of pointy and weird looking. It was set up in front of the large window that was floor to ceiling and the light from the street lamps outside gave it a weird and unsettling glow. She walked over to it and read the plaque beside it - 'The Angst of a Woman' - it read and Sami wrinkled her nose at it. It certainly made her feel anxious - you could put an eye out with one of those points! But this wasn't getting her any closer to finding out what was Rolf was up to.

She started to walk down the corridor but only had to take a few steps really before she was at the first door. There was light coming from under the door so Sami guessed something was going on in there. She went up on tip toes to look through the glass window that was set into the door and peered inside. A strangled gasping sound was wrenched for her lips at the sight that met her eyes and she staggered backwards, as though she'd been physically hit. This was beyond anything she'd ever imagined and it was just too awful for words.

Sami took another couple of disorientated steps back, wanting to distance herself from the complete horror of what that room contained. Her hands flew to cover her mouth as her brain continued to reeling from the shock of it all. As she did she felt something hard jab her between the shoulder blades. She spun round just in time to see 'The Angst of a Woman' starting to tip backwards. Sami gaped at it in untold desperation as it teetered there on one edge for a tantalising moment, teasing her with the fact that it might even yet have it's balance restored to it and tilt forward again but as Sami had noted before on many occasions… she simply wasn't that lucky.

After the briefest of pauses the monolith continued on it's downward arch but unfortunately there was nothing behind it but the glass window which was no match for the weight of the large piece and it smashed threw it easily. The sound of glass shattering and wood splintering bounced down the corridor even as the sculptor hurtled towards the ground. The sound of it impacting and bursting into a million pieces of white plaster and dust was offset by the sound of a car alarm going off and the sound of more breaking glass and metal twisting.

Sami walked numbly to the window and looked down in dismay at the chaos she'd inadvertently caused. The flashing lights of the now semi-flattened car that the sculptor had landed on blinked accusingly up at her and Sami gave another quiet whimper.

Well there was nothing for it now.

Sami slowly turned around and did the only sensible thing she could do at this stage.

_She ran._


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter TEN**

Sami stood up and impatiently began to pace around the little cell, throwing anxious glances at the doorway out into the custody area.

"That won't make your lawyer turn up any quicker honey," the woman sharing a cell with her cautioned her.

"I know," said Sami distractedly, "I just want to get out of here and go home."

"So what did you do?" the woman asked her with a curious tilt of her head.

"Just a little damage to property," said Sami airily, trying to make it sound like no big deal.

"Oh?" pushed the woman.

"I don't really want to talk about it," said Sami with a grimace.

"Honey what else are we gonna do?" she said quite reasonably, "We're both stuck here - may as well tell each other our stories."

Sami shrugged.

"I guess," she sighed.

"I'm Crystal by the way," she introduced herself, sticking out her hand to shake.

"Sami," she said and smiled politely at the woman.

She looked to be in her mid fifties, well dressed and accessorised. She obviously had money and taste and Sami couldn't help but wonder what she was doing here.

"So Sami," said Crystal, "What's your story babe?"

"I pushed a statue out a second floor window down onto a car in the street below," said Sami and then gave her an anxious look, "But it was an accident - I swear!"

"Fair enough," said Crystal, seeming to take Sami's story in her stride.

"What about you?" she asked curiosity getting the better of her, apparently she'd learnt nothing about curiosity and the cat even after the events of tonight.

"Well mine wasn't an accident," said Crystal unapologetically, "I tried to run down my husband in my SVU."

"Oh my god!" said Sami, shocked, "What happened?"

"Ah the little bastard is more nimble than he looks and got out of the way in time so I only managed to run over a foot," sighed Crystal in disappointment.

"Oh," said Sami weakly, "But why were you trying to run him down at all?"

"The oldest reason in the book," said Crystal with a roll of her eyes, "The creep is banging his secretary! I mean his secretary - could it have been more of a cliché, I ask you?! She's all of about twenty, tits and ass like rocks, meanwhile look at me…"

Crystal gave a bit of a despondent wave down at her body but Sami could see nothing wrong with her.

"I think you look fantastic," protested Sami.

"That's because I'm all trussed up like a turkey," sighed Crystal, "When I'm naked I look like I'm melting but you're too young to know anything about that yet. Wait till you have kids and then you'll know what I mean."

"I have three," said Sami.

"You're doing well sweetheart," said Crystal, clearly impressed, "But boobs like that aren't going to defy gravity forever."

Sami looked down at her breasts that had always been rather ample and put a worried hand to them.

"No?" she asked anxiously.

She'd never really thought about it before now but Crystal was making her worry.

"You married?" asked Crystal suddenly.

"Aha," nodded Sami, still worrying about her boobs now.

"Bet you he loves those puppies," said Crystal knowingly.

"Oh yeah," said Sami, answering without thinking and then suddenly blushed.

She wasn't sure why she was sharing so much with this woman and also wasn't' so sure that EJ would be exactly thrilled to know that they were discussing him like this but then again - he was never going to know.

"Mm," said Crystal, "Until they find a pair they like better and then it's all over."

"EJ's not like that," protested Sami.

"Is he gay?" asked Crystal.

"No, of course not!" said Sami hotly.

"Got a penis?" to which Sami didn't know what to say.

"Then he's like that," said Crystal confidently.

"Look Crystal," said Sami hesitantly, "I know that your having a hard time of it right now but not all men are like…"

"Bob," Crystal supplied readily, "Bob Ball."

"Like Bob…" she continued on and then frowned suddenly.

"Wait… Ball?" said Sami hesitantly, not meaning to be rude but unable to help herself, "You're name is Crystal Ball?"

"Yeah," said the other woman flatly, "That should have been my first clue that this marriage was a mistake! My maiden name was Crystal Wazcycni and I thought that was bad!"

"Crystal Ball isn't bad," protested Sami, trying to be kind, "It's… it's memorable."

That was the best adjective she could come up with on short notice but it seemed to please Crystal well enough.

"I guess," she shrugged.

"I'm sorry about your trouble Crystal," said Sami trying again, "But like I was trying to say, not all men are like Bob."

"All men are dogs," said Crystal flatly, "Some are just better at faking it for longer - that's all."

"Don't you think that's a bit harsh?" said Sami, wrinkling her nose up, "I mean, I've had some bad luck… well more disastrous luck really with men over the years but now I've found the one I'm meant to be with and it's changed everything for me."

"Don't tell me let me guess," said Crystal with a roll of her eyes, "He rings you from work everyday, tells you all the time that he loves you, you make love nearly every day… how am I doing?"

"Well yes," said Sami a little taken aback by the woman's insight.

"So did Bob in the beginning," said Crystal with a hard look, "And then I'd say about a year in, he started to roam. It was just little things… didn't call me every day, less sex… he started dressing up more and wearing cologne."

"He was having affairs even back then?" said Sami in horror.

"Yeah," said Crystal, "I was just too dumb and trusting to realise but if I knew then what I know now…"

Crystal gave Sami a kind of wild look.

"I'd go back in time, take his testicles and make earrings out of them!" she said with a triumphant look, "Then we'd see who was boss!"

Crystal mimed snipping motions then plucking the newly snipped imaginary items out of the air and held them up to her ears like earrings and proudly showed them off.

"Wow!" said Sami looking a little taken aback, "Well that's really… graphic… of you Crystal."

"Honey," said Crystal with a sad shake of her head, "Do yourself a favour…"

"What?" asked Sami a little nervously as to what this slightly manic woman might suggest.

"Ditch that fella of yours before he ditches you and become a lesbian," she said looking completely and utterly serious, "That's what I'm going to do."

"Um… I don't think that's how that works," said Sami a little uncertainly.

"Oh how hard can it be," said Crystal breezily, dismissing her concern, "At least you wouldn't have to train them what to do down there."

"Well, no… I guess not," said Sami, a little bewildered.

She looked down at her watched and prayed that EJ was on his way already before she caught crazy from her cell mate.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ stood at the top of the stairs to the police department and took a deep breath, hoping against hope that his favourite desk sergeant had finished his shift. After all it was hours later so the chances were good. EJ pushed open the doors and the first person he saw was Sergeant Christoff sipping on a mug of coffee and doing a crossword in his usual position behind the front desk.

_Didn't this man have a home to go to?!_

EJ sighed and putting his best foot forward he walked up to the desk and smiled at the man.

"Good evening Sergeant Christoff," he said calmly, "How are you this fine evening?"

The older man straightened up and folded his arms in front of his chest and shook his head at EJ.

"I know," said EJ with a smile, "I can't seem to keep away today - I think it's your excellent coffee, or possibly the rapport we've built up… it's rather special I think."

"You're one slow learner aren't you?" said the sergeant flatly, yet again not enjoying EJ's sense of humour.

"Oddly enough you're not the first person to point that out to me," said EJ with a quirk of his lips.

"Name?" said the Sergeant tersely.

"Samantha DiMera," said EJ and then gave him a little grimace as the other man arched an eyebrow at him and nodded in confirmation, "My wife."

Yet again Sergeant Christoff flicked through his paper work for him.

"DiMera, Samantha," he read out in his monotonous tone, "Wilful damage of private and public property."

"What kind of damage to what kind of property?" asked EJ with a little sigh.

"A one of a kind piece of sculptured artwork through a second storey window onto a car below," said the sergeant, supplying the finer details.

"Guess that will do it," said EJ stoically and then a thought occurred, "I don't suppose there was another woman with her at the time - tall, blonde, kind of mouthy?"

"Your wife was alone when the police officer ran her down," he was informed.

"Just checking," said EJ ruefully.

"So is that _every_ member of your family that has been sitting in my jail cell today?" asked Sergeant Christoff flatly.

"Well I do have twin babies at home," said EJ jokingly, "Do you have a paediatric area of your jail cells at all?"

Sergeant Christoff was not amused by EJ's flippancy and just gave him that hard stare that EJ was becoming increasingly familiar with. EJ didn't know why he kept trying with this man - he just couldn't seem to help himself.

"Sorry," he apologised with a grimace, "Wildly inappropriate thing to joke about I know."

"I'm sure I'll be seeing your kids soon enough," said the sergeant stoically.

EJ made a bit of an offended face at that but at the minute it was pretty hard to play the 'we're not that kind of a family' card with the events of today.

"You know the way," said the sergeant, summarily dismissing him and going back to his crossword puzzle.

"By this stage I should have my own locker here," said EJ under his breath and headed off to see Sami.

**oooOOOOooo**

"So is that your guy?" asked Crystal, looking at the impossibly handsome man walking towards them.

"Yes," smiled Sami, dreading the upcoming conversation but happy as always to see him.

"Oh honey," said Crystal sympathetically, "You are _boned_."

"What do you mean?" asked Sami worriedly.

"That is a full time job you've got there," said Crystal shaking her head sadly at her, "You're going to be beating every woman… and man… with a pulse off with a stick to try and hang onto that hunk o' love you've got going on there."

"EJ loves me," protested Sami.

"Bob loved steak but even he didn't want to eat it everyday," said Crystal knowingly.

Sami looked back at EJ as he walked towards them and tried to ignore the feeling of dread that her new found confidante was causing in her.

**oooOOOOooo**

Thirty minutes later EJ and Sami were driving back to the mansion after EJ had secured her release. At this point the thought he could fill out the paperwork in his sleep! Sami could feel the inquisitive looks he was throwing her every now and then but determinedly ignored them. She hadn't been forth coming in the exact details that led up to the incident with him. She could tell that he wasn't going to let it go but was keeping stubbornly quiet on the subject until she was left with no other option. Sami frowned and sat up straighter in her seat when she saw him pull into a little alley way and turn off the car engine.

"What are you doing?" she asked in annoyance, "This we're not home yet - I want to go home to my children EJ."

"And you will," said EJ, perfectly agreeably, "As soon as you tell me what happened tonight."

"You know what happened tonight," she hedged.

"I know what the police report said," he disagreed with her, "But I can't help but feel I'm missing out on a few pertinent details along the way somehow. Now I thought you were planning to see Chelsea tonight - at least, that was what you told your mother and I."

"She cancelled," Sami mumbled the lie.

"Oh," said EJ and scratched the tip of his nose thoughtfully.

He twisted around in his seat and regard her carefully whilst Sami just looked resolutely ahead.

"So to recap," mused EJ straight faced, "Chelsea cancelled her plans with you at the last moment, so instead of coming home you decided to topple a large piece of art work onto a car from a great height - is that about right sweetheart?"

"It was an accident!" she said through gritted teeth, "I didn't mean to do it!"

"Alright then," he countered smoothly, "Precisely what was your intention for this evening Samantha?"

"I… I…" Sami bit her lip nervously, really not wanting to do this.

EJ arched an eyebrow at her, silently encouraging her to continue.

"I was following Rolf," she admitted in rush.

EJ's other eyebrow shot up in surprise at her admission - was everyone in the family destined to develop stalker tendencies?

"Because?" he prompted her.

"Because I wanted to know what he did on his nights off!" she said in annoyance, crossing her arms in front of her and pouting, "There, happy now?"

"Actually I'm still a little confused," admitted EJ, "How does wanting to know what Rolf does on his night off end up with you destroy private and public property? And while we're on the subject - couldn't you have just asked Rolf."

"Oh right!" she scoffed, "Like he would have told me the truth! I wouldn't have believed whatever he told me so I would have had to follow him to make sure so this way I had the element of surprise on my side. He wouldn't know I was there."

"Well he would have been the only one," commented EJ dryly, "You do seem to have left your mark somewhat darling."

"I followed him to that building," she said, ignoring his humour, "I went upstairs and saw what he was doing and it was horrifying! I guess I kind of stepped backwards or something and I hit the statue, it fell out of the window and landed on the car …"

"So…?" prompted EJ when she left it at that, "What is it that Rolf does do on his night's off then?"

"Hey if you want to know so bad why don't you go there yourself and find out?" she scowled at him, really not wanting to relive the horrors of the night.

"I would sweetheart but we can't really afford the damage bill," he told her straight faced.

He quirked an eyebrow at her.

"So?"

"He's in an painting class," she said flatly.

"A painting class?" repeated EJ in confusion, "So what is so horrifying about that? I mean, how bad can his painting be?"

"I didn't say he _did_ the painting," she said through clenched teeth, "I said he was _in_ a painting class."

"So what?" asked EJ a bit bewilder now, "He teaches the class."

"No," she bit out, still looking straight out the window and not at him.

"But what else is there…?" EJ trailed off as he realised, "Oh…"

EJ put his hand to his mouth to hide the grin that was rapidly spreading over his face.

"He was the model," he said then, the amusement obvious in his voice, "The nude model… I'm right aren't I Samantha? You saw Rolf naked?"

"Don't say those two words together!" she said hotly, her cheeks going bright red, "Don't you _ever_ say those words again do you hear me!"

"Oh Samantha," he said, the laughter burbling up inside of him at the stricken look on her face.

He imagined her standing there, looking in and seeing Rolf in all his glory. It would have been priceless!

"Don't you dare laugh at me EJ DiMera!" Sami warned him heatedly when she saw the corners of his mouth begin to turn up, "I am _not_ in the mood - I've been traumatised for life you know!"

"This?" said EJ, pointing to the growing smile on his face, "It's a nervous tic darling and I've had it since childhood. I'm quite sensitive about it actually so if you wouldn't mind not drawing attention to it please."

"OH!" said Sami in annoyance at his flippancy.

EJ laughed out loud then which only made Sami more upset. She'd had a harrowing evening and all he could do was laugh at her. Well she was going to show him!

"Stop laughing at me EJ otherwise…" she threatened him, her eyes narrowing dangerously.

"I'm not laughing at you I'm laughing at you, I'm laughing with you," he protested, with a wide grin on his face, "Besides, what are you going to do to stop me eh? Push a large statue on top of me?"

EJ seemed to find more amusement in the thought and began to laugh again which just made Sami want to show him who was boss. She released her seat belt and turned towards him, an evil gleam in her eye.

"You think you're so clever don't you?" she accused him in annoyance.

"I have my moments," he smirked back at her, "And there is nothing you can do about this one sweetheart, I definitely have the upper hand - you made your bed and now you're just going to have to deal with the fall out… i.e. my amusement, consider it your payment for my legal services tonight."

"Is that right?" she asked him in a low voice, "So you're just going to keep on taunting me with this until you think I've paid my dues, is that it?"

"Well…" EJ considered that for a moment, "… yes, actually."

He gave her a teasingly look then and started to laugh again but Sami was not going to let him think he'd won this round. She leant closer to him until and rubbed her body up against him as he sat there beside her. EJ sent her an amused, quizzical look but seemed unconcerned.

"What's this?" he teased her, "Think you can distract me? I think you will find me made of sterner stuff than that young lady. I've got a lot more mockery intended for you."

"Is that right?" she murmured.

Sami's hand went to rest on his stomach before disappearing down the front of his pants to find his growing hardness. EJ gave a strangled little hiss as her hand wrapped around him and squeezed almost painfully.

"What's the matter EJ?" she purred up at him, "Nothing to say now - cat got your tongue?"

"Well not my tongue, no," he said ironically and gave her a little smirk, his breathing a little uneven now.

With her other hand she undid his belt and unzipped his fly.

"Samantha sweetheart," he said tightly, "What are you doing?"

Sami just smiled knowingly up at him before ducking her head down and taking his already impressively stiffening member into her mouth. EJ bucked up and made a strangled cry at the feeling of her warm mouth sliding over his rigid length, a hand instinctively going to the roof of the car, bracing himself.

"Samantha!" he gasped, as her hand tightened around the remainder of him that wouldn't fit into her mouth and began to work on him.

Suck, pump, roll and lick… she very quickly found a delicious rhythm around him and EJ's head lolled back at the sensations she was wringing from her body. He buried both hands in her soft blonde hair, his fingers pressing on her scalp and encouraging her in her ministrations. His breathing began to come in short, gasping pants and he knew he didn't have long to go.

Suddenly an elderly couple walked by in front of the alley they were parked in, taking their little dog for a walk. EJ tensed, trying to put a calm look on his face for their benefit so that they wouldn't suspect what was going on in the car. Sami wasn't making it easy for him though because she felt him stiffen and took it as a sign to go harder and faster which she did. EJ whimpered under his breath as the elderly couple turned to look at him, smiling and nodding a good evening to him. EJ tried to smile back but doubted he pulled it off as Sami quickly bought him to his peak.

He desperately willed the old couple to keep moving and stop looking at him before he lost it completely but they were walking unbelievably slowly. His breaths were coming in short, distressed pants now as he clung to his control, trying to look like he wasn't about to come in his wife's mouth while he sat in his car. The couple finally moved past the alley way and EJ nearly cried with relief, closing his eyes and giving himself over to Sami's skilful mouth.

"Oh yes!" he groaned happily, "Oh sweetheart… YES!"

Sami heard him cry out and then she had the hot, salty taste of him suddenly spurting into her mouth as she continued in her self appointed task until she was satisfied he had nothing left to give her. She released his now spent thickness from her mouth, sucking on him hard as she did and wrenching a last pleased shudder from him. Sami did up his pants again and then sat back on her side of the car.

"So," she said cheekily, seeing the completely dazed look on his face and wiping the corners of her mouth with her fingers, "Are you right to drive or what?"

"Give me a minute," said EJ weakly, holding up a hand to her, "I can't seem to remember how to drive just at the moment but I'm sure it will come back to me."

Sami laughed at his humour and he joined in, albeit a little shakily. He leant over then and pulled her into a hard kiss.

"You're amazing," he told her dreamily.

"Well you would say that after that," she said with a smirk, "We just won't mention this ever again - alright? No more teasing me!"

"What will be my punishment if I do?" he asked her with a cheeky grin.

"You won't get to find out what that little experience did for me," said Sami smugly, seeing the way his eyes perked up with interest.

"Really?" he asked her impishly, "And what might that be?"

"Drive us home and I'll show you," she told him calmly.

EJ quickly turned the engine on and put the car into gear and Sami gave him an amused look.

"I see your driving prowess has returned all of a sudden," she noted dryly.

"It's a miracle," he agreed straight faced.

"I don't think you can call being horny a miracle EJ," she said, trying to give him a stern look but failing miserably.

EJ just laughed and pulled out of the alleyway and broke more than a few speed limits on the way home.

Sami smiled quietly to herself - today had started well, had a definite low in the middle but it looked like it was going to end with a bang… and she was alright with that.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter ELEVEN**

EJ rolled over onto his side the next morning to find his wife standing in front of the mirror, looking intently into it as she put her hands to her breasts and cupped them from underneath, pushing them up higher. EJ propped his head up on one elbow and looked at her curiously.

"Hey," he said in mock censure, "What are you doing? That's my job."

Sami gave a start and whirled round, not realising he was awake yet and felt a little foolish at being caught out. She'd been lying there in bed and thinking about Crystal and her dire predictions about Sami's body and had started fretting over it.

"I was just thinking about my boobs," she confessed to him honestly, looking a little stressed.

"Ahh," said EJ knowingly, "Welcome to my world."

"EJ!" she laughed, throwing a hair tie at him - the closest available object - as he lay there stretched out on their bed, the sheet pulled up to his waist.

"Careful," he warned her very seriously, "You could do a damage."

Sami rolled her eyes at the unlikeness of that happening.

"How would you feel about me getting plastic surgery, you know… in a couple of years?" she asked him curiously.

"What, on your breasts?" asked EJ and he sounded quite taken aback by the suggestion.

"Well yes," she shrugged, "They're not always going to look like they do now you know."

"But surgery," said EJ with a definite frown now, "That seems to be a big risk to fix something that doesn't have anything wrong with it in the first place."

"It's perfectly safe," said Sami with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"It's surgery," corrected EJ firmly, "And there is an inherent risk in any surgical procedure, it's extremely painful and there is always the worry of post operative infections. It may not turn out how you like and then you're stuck with it."

"But they're not always going to look like they do now," she said again anxiously, "It's going to change how you feel about them."

"Will you still let me touch them?" he asked her perfectly seriously.

"Well… yes," said Sami a little uncertainly.

"Then no," he said very positively, "It won't."

"But…," she went to protest.

"Samantha," he interrupted her, "I'm a guy - trust me, anytime we can get our hands on breasts that's all we're thinking about. Not that we wished they were different but rather about how happy we are that we've managed it."

"Not all men think like that!" she exclaimed argued with him.

"99% of us do, there is always the odd exception but sweetheart I don't know why we're even having this conversation," EJ shook his head at her, "You're breasts are the epitome of what breasts should be like - I will never tire of them."

"You say that now…" said Sami unhappily, thinking about Crystal.

"I'm saying that because it's not just your breasts or your body that attracts me so strongly to you Samantha," he told her earnestly, all traces of kidding gone from his voice now, "You walk into a room and you have this energy, this brilliant fire that burns from the inside out and that will never change. In fact it only seems to grow brighter every day I spend with you and like a moth to the flame I am helpless against that pull."

"EJ," said Sami with a little pleased pout, "Really?"

"Really," he assured her determinedly, "Samantha we're both going to change physically in the coming years and I'm looking forward to it. I want to grow old with you, I want to get the grey hair and wrinkles and all of those things because it will mean that time has passed and we would have had all of these amazing times to look back on."

"I suppose," said Sami a little reassured but then fixed him with a stern look, "But just so you know - I _won't_ be going grey - understand?!"

EJ laughed at this and she joined in.

"So you wouldn't let me get surgery then?" she asked him, tilting her head at him enquiringly.

"Sweetheart it's your body and I can't stop you from doing that if you absolutely decide that is what you want and I'd support you," he told her honestly but then gave her wicked smile, "Of course I'd campaign shamelessly against it up until that point. I do much prefer the feel of natural breasts myself to the other kind."

"And you know this because?" she challenged him, folding her arms in front of her chest in mock annoyance, "Had a lot of experience with the other kind have we?"

"Read it in a book," he said looking ever so innocent.

"Yeah right," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"Samantha," he tried again to reassure her, "You're perfection personified to me sweetheart. I adore every curve and dip of your body and I promise you that will never change."

Sami slow smile moved over her face at that and he smiled back at her.

"So," he pouted, "I've been awake for minutes now and I still haven't had my good morning kiss. What's that all about then?"

"It's getting late," she told him with a little smile, "We don't have time for a… good morning kiss… right now."

"There is always time Samantha," he said dramatically, "Some things are just too important."

"Sorry," she teased him, walking past the bed to get to the bathroom, "But I've got places I need to be."

EJ made a grab for her as she walked by but she was too fast for him.

"Ah ah," she chided him, "No you don't."

"But I couldn't possibly survive the day without my good morning kiss from my beautiful wife," he said petulantly.

"Okay," she sighed, relenting, "But just one kiss - you promise?"

"I promise," said EJ very seriously.

Sami walked to the bed and bent down, intending to give him a quick kiss on the lips but he had other ideas. EJ grabbed her wrist and pulled her down on the bed, quickly trapping her under his body.

"EJ!" she groaned laughingly, 'You promised! One kiss!"

"Indeed I did," he said with an evil gleam in his eye, "I just didn't say _where_ I intended to kiss."

He quirked an eyebrow at her then and holding both of her hands above her head with one of his own he slid further down her body and pushed her legs apart, settling between them more comfortably. EJ pulled aside the already damp material of her panties and looked up at her with a saucy look, licking his lips slowly which made her core quiver in anticipation.

"I'm a lawyer remember sweetheart," he teased her, "Always read the fine print."

"Oh," she sighed, wriggling impatiently under him as she began to crave his next touch, "Just shut up and give me my kiss already will you?"

"I thought we didn't have time?" he said, the laughter obvious in his voice at seeing her growing arousal.

"We won't if you don't get on with it!" she complained to him breathlessly, having him so near to touching her there and doing nothing about it was killing her.

EJ scraped his beard against the delicate skin of her inner thighs and she groaned at the sensation and from the frustration. He nuzzled at her folds and she whimpered, pushing her hips forward, encouraging him to continue. She let out a grateful sigh when she finally felt his mouth on her, his tongue suckling at her nub and she arched lazily, her eyes drifting shut as she gave herself over to him. Those same eyes suddenly snapped open though when she felt him abruptly leave her, releasing her arms and sitting up. She blinked up at him blearily, her body screaming for more.

"You said only one kiss," he said regretfully, going to move off her, "And I'm a man of my word."

Sami stopped him, rolling him over so that she was on top, straddling his waist.

"Oh no you don't!" she told him with an annoyed look for getting her worked up and then letting her twist in the wind like that.

"What?" he asked her laughingly, looking so innocent she wanted to hit him, "It was your rule."

"There's a new rule," she told him, giving him a commanding look.

"And what might that be sweetheart?" he asked her with an intrigued smile, his hands going to massage her thighs now.

"Finish what you started," she said with a little quirk of her lips.

EJ bit his lip, a pleased smile spreading across his face.

"Take you're panties off Mrs DiMera," he instructed her throatily and she hastily complied, throwing them over her shoulder and quickly returning to sitting atop him.

EJ grabbed her backside cheeks and squeezed pushing on them so she went up on her knees. He quickly sidled down the bed so his head was directly between her legs and then pulled on her backside, drawing her down so that again his lips met her core. Sami groaned and bent over onto her elbows even as she felt his hot tongue inside of her, stroking her walls. It barely took anytime before her hips were moving of their own accord, him helping them find their rhythm as he drew agonised gasps of pleasure from her lips.

"Oh god EJ!" she moaned, dropping her head down onto the bed as she climaxed, gritting her teeth against the pleasure.

"Samantha," he groaned in return, feeling her shuddering over him.

She'd barely finished when she felt him remove his mouth from her and sit up.

"Don't move!" he instructed her urgently, going up on his knees behind her and Sami gave a strangled sob, obeying him but reaching up and grabbing the bars of the bed head in front of her.

EJ grabbed her bottom cheeks in his hand again, delighting in the feel of their ripe firmness under his hands.

"Hurry!" she said breathlessly and he didn't need to be told twice, his painfully hard member pushing it's way into her and he hissed to see feel how hot and ready she was for him after her orgasm.

Sami grabbed onto the bars tightly, as he started to move inside her, so grateful that he was done teasing her and wasn't starting slowly, the bed head she was holding onto banging into the wall behind it from the power of his thrusts. EJ leant over her his hands going to her breasts as he continued to drive himself into her and she gave a happy gasp. He lay his cheek against her back and she felt his beard scratching at the sensitive skin there as he moved up and down her, feeling like he was everywhere, all around her, inside her - devouring her whole with his body and his hunger.

"Yes… yes… yes!!" he grunted against her back, "So good… ohh… ahh!"

EJ quickened his pace, not sure he could bring her to climax again before he lost control of himself but he needn't have worried. As soon as his body began it's orgasm she followed his lead and the room was filled with the sound of him releasing himself noisily into her and her sobbing her happiness at the sensation.

"Mmm," said Sami dazedly, letting go of the bed head and straightening up so that she was just kneeling on the bed as he was, his body still possessing hers.

"Ah… uhh!" he gasped at the feeling of her tightening even more around him as she leant back against him, his arms going around her waist to try and steady them both.

"You're such a good kisser," she giggled, tilting her head back and looking up at him.

EJ grinned and leant over her shoulder, capturing her lips as he finally got his good morning kiss.

**oooOOOOooo**

"What exactly do you think John is burying out there in the woods?" asked Sami, squinting to see him way off in the distance from where she was standing at the window in the sitting room later that morning.

EJ looked up from the newspaper he was reading, peering over the top of his glasses at her.

"Probably some magic beans," he said straight faced and then went back to his paper.

"Be serious EJ," she chided him, still very intent on finding out what it was exactly that John was up to.

"Sweetheart," he said teasingly, "The last time you were curious you ended up in a jail cell remember? Maybe you should just let it be."

"The last time I was curious you ended up with me… resting affectionately in your lap on the way home from jail," she reminded him with a challenging look.

"You make an excellent point my darling," he said straight faced, "You carry on and I'll just… sit here… reading my paper… not doing anything that couldn't be interrupted if the urge to become… affectionate should overtake you again."

"Can't you ever get enough?" she asked him exasperation, turning back to look out the window, hiding the small smile curving her lips from him.

"Can't you?" he countered and she could hear the smirk in voice.

"Canapés?"

Rolf suddenly appeared in the door way from the kitchen and Sami immediately spun round, looking back out the window very intently to which EJ had to smile. She'd been studiously avoiding looking at the older man all morning after the events of last night and EJ found it to be very amusing.

"It's a bit early for canapés isn't it Rolf?" asked EJ, looking at his watch, "It's only ten o'clock in the morning."

"I am practicing za new recipe," Rolf explain, "I need zome vone to tell me vat zey zink of zem."

"Oh well," said EJ, "I'll try one in that case."

He popped one of the little pastries into his mouth and made an impressed face.

"Not bad Rolf," he said, "In fact they're quite excellent. Sweetheart, you should try one."

Sami sent him a dirty look over her shoulder only to find him giving her an amused, challenging look.

"I'm not hungry," she said flatly, still keeping her back resolutely to Rolf.

"Oh but you'll hurt Rolf's feelings darling," he said looking ever so innocent, "It would be like you dropped a big weight on them from a great height."

Sami gave him a look that would have cut through metal at that pointed remark.

"Oh zat remindz me," said Rolf conversationally, "I vas at my art clazz last night and zome lunatic pushed a statue through za window on za zecond floor and hit za instructor's car below."

"Really?" said EJ, feigning surprise, "That seems unbelievable Rolf - what kind of person would do such a thing?"

"Oh za vorld iz full of crazy Elvis," sighed Rolf.

Sami gave EJ a look that promised him a painful retribution for this conversation but he just smiled back happily, clearly undaunted by her silent threats.

"And I didn't know you took art classes," continued on EJ blithely, enjoying himself enormously now, "Did you know that sweetheart?"

"Alright I'll try the stupid canapés!" snapped Sami, just wanting this conversation to end now.

She still had her back to Rolf and had no intention of turning round to face him so instead she just stuck out her hand behind her and groped blindly for the appetiser. Rolf looked a little uncertainly at EJ over her odd behaviour and then gingerly moved the plate of little bite size pastries he was holding closer to her fumbling hand until she contacted with them and managed to grab one before popping it quickly in her mouth.

"Mmm, great Rolf!" she said in a rather over the top fashion, "These are amazing! You know what you should do… you should go back into that kitchen and make a couple of big batches of those right away!"

Rolf looked at EJ rather sceptically and then at the back of Sami's head that was still resolutely presented to him.

"Very good," he said slowly, not sure what to make of the young woman's strange behaviour but this was Sami after all - who knew what was going on in that head of hers.

Rolf took a step backwards then and then another, as though he didn't want to turn his back on her just in case and then hastily made his way back into the kitchen.

"You do realise that this is only a short term solution to your problem sweetheart?" EJ pointed out wryly, "At some point you are going to have to look Rolf in the eye again."

"No I don't!" she said hotly, hating him for being right.

"Samantha," he smiled up at her, tickled by her prudishness and unable to stop himself from teasing her, "The human body is a beautiful thing…"

"Don't!" she threatened him, "No more talking about last night otherwise…"

Sami pointed to her lips and then to his crotch and then made a definite nixing movement with her hands.

"Well that's pretty hard to argue with," sighed EJ with a grimace and returned to his newspaper.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ nodded in silent thanks to one of the wait staff at Chez Rouge as they placed a martini on the table in front of him, his attention being occupied by the man on the other end of the phone call he was making.

"And you're sure about that?" he asked with a little frown, "No… no of course."

EJ listened for a little longer and then grimaced.

"Well thank you Mr Newman," he said in the end, "As always you've been most helpful… and you'll keep in touch? Excellent, I'll wait to hear from you then."

EJ hung up his phone and looked thoughtfully off to one side, not even seeing the elegant surrounds of the restaurant as he mulled over this latest bit of information from Bill Newman and what it meant to him and his family. It was deep in thought that Emily Jorgensen came upon him, playfully tapping him on the shoulder from behind as he sat there.

"Solving all the worlds problems dear boy?" she teased him at seeing his intent expression.

EJ's head snapped round and he immediately stood up and gave her a happy smile.

"Emily!" he exclaimed, bending down to kiss her cheek, "How are you? And no, not all of them… just mine."

"Oh well," she sighed, "Charity isn't the only thing that should start at home I suppose."

"I guess not," smiled EJ and then looked at her quizzically, "And what are you doing here young lady? Not meeting some other man for lunch I hope - should I be jealous?"

"You should definitely be jealous," confirmed Emily knowingly, "You're not my only bit on the side you know."

"Heart breaker!" said EJ in mock accusation, his hand going to cover his heart.

"You, darling boy, don't know the half of it," she said sagely to which EJ had to laugh.

"I see I'm going to have to keep an eye on you," said EJ teasingly.

"Well you can do that while you buy me a drink," said Emily going to take a seat at his table as EJ quickly pulled a chair out for her.

He nodded for a waiter and gave him Emily's drinks order , a white wine and then sat down across from her.

"So how has your week been?" she asked him conversationally after her drink had arrived.

"I lot of exhilarating highs, terrifying lows and many trips to the jailhouse," said EJ ruefully, taking a sip of his martini.

"I suppose that is the job of a lawyer for you," smiled Emily.

"Actually that was just my family," EJ corrected her straight faced, "Work has been pretty benign of late I have to say."

"Well it would be a crime to be boring I suppose," laughed Emily at his candour.

"In that case that would be the only crime my family _hasn't_ managed to commit this week between them all," EJ confided in her ruefully.

Emily laughed out loud then and EJ joined in and she shook her head at him.

"You do intrigue me dear boy," she said, "You can't leave it there now."

"But I'm afraid I'm must," clucked EJ regretfully, "Client/lawyer privacy and all that - I'm legally bound not to say anything else… that and the fact that Samantha would never sleep with me again if I did!"

"I find that highly unlikely my dear," said Emily teasingly.

"Yeah," said EJ with a self satisfied smirk all of a sudden, "She wants me but bad."

Emily laughed again and then tapped his arm disapprovingly.

"You never did tell me how your proposal went with Sami," she reproved him lightly.

"Well that's a bit of a story in of itself," said EJ with a sigh, pulling out the toothpick from his drink and chewing on an olive, "But she said yes… in the end… after a couple of minor hiccups."

"Hiccups?" questioned Emily curiously, "What kind of hiccups."

"Let's just say that peacocks are not one of my most favourite birds anymore," said EJ unhappily, remembering how they'd managed to completely ruin the romantic evening he'd had planned for Sami and himself, "And that they're surprisingly flammable."

"Flammable?" repeated Emily with great interest, "Oh now you're just going to have tell me that story EJ DiMera otherwise you are nothing but a big tease!"

EJ dutifully told her his tale of woe about the proposal fiasco and to her credit, Emily didn't even smirk once.

"Well that is something you certainly don't hear everyday," she mused at the end of the story, straight faced.

"It is if you're in my family," lamented EJ.

"Come now," Emily chided him playfully, "Every family has their eccentricities and secrets. Take my family for example, turns out my grandparents were kissing cousins."

"Ha!" scorned EJ light-heartedly, "I can beat that - my Uncle is my wife's stepfather and not only that but her Great Aunt and my grandfather had a passionate tryst back in the day which resulted in the fore mentioned uncle! Oh and did I mention that the great aunt Colleen was a novice, about to take her vows any day before my lecherous and _married_ grandfather swept her off her feet!"

"How scandalous," said Emily in mock horror, "You win I guess."

"You bet I do," said EJ smugly, "I keep checking on the number of fingers and toes the twins have between them just to make sure there isn't any to spare with all the intermarrying and tangled genetic webs that our families have. I bet you could point to just about anyone in this room and I could relate them back to either Samantha or I in probably two steps or less."

"Really?" said Emily, looking around her, "Let's put that to the test shall we?"

"Batter up!" he declared confidently.

"Let's see…" mused Emily, looking around her, "How about that lovely red head standing in the corner over there?"

EJ looked over to where she was pointing and smiled.

"Maggie Horton," he told her, "Samantha's ex-Aunt in law, from her first marriage - married to Mickey Horton, my boss."

"Alright then," said Emily, "How about that pretty young thing over there?"

"Chloe Black," said EJ easily, "Ex-wife of Brady Black, my uncle's son so that makes her Samantha's ex-half sister in law and my ex-cousin in law."

"Confusing," commented Emily.

"That is only the tip of the iceberg Emily," he informed her knowingly, "Keep going."

"How about that striking blonde over there," Emily nodded towards the woman being shown to her table with a young man.

"Ah Nicole Walker," said EJ with a smile, "Now this _is_ interesting, particularly as her dining companion is none other than Phillip Kiriarkis. Where to begin with this one? Let's see, Nicole used to date Samantha's twin brother, went on to marry Samantha's ex-husband before divorcing him and marrying Victor Kiriarkis. Now that makes the man she'd dining with her ex-son in law who used to be married to Samantha's half sister Belle. So that would make Phillip Samantha's ex-half brother in law unless I'm sorely mistaken."

"Wow!" said Emily, "Apparently Salem is a simply fabulous place to be a lawyer in!"

"It is Emily," agreed EJ sagely, "It really is!"

"That's family for you," she said with a shake of her head, "Can't live with them, can't live without them."

EJ suddenly sat up straighter in his chair and gave her an intent look.

"Emily," he said firmly, "You're brilliant!"

"I am?" she asked wryly, "And just which particular aspect of my brilliance are you referring to now?"

"You've just given me a solution to a problem that I've been mulling over for a couple of weeks now," he told her.

EJ leant over the table and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you."

"Well you're quite welcome I'm sure," said Emily with a bemused shake of her head.

EJ grinned back at her and Emily had to laugh at him.

"I know that look," she said teasingly, "You're up to no good."

"I'm not going to deny it's a distinct possibility Emily," he said with a bit of a smirk, "A distinct possibility."


	12. Chapter 12

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****:** Okay, forgot to mention earlier but just to let you know who I was thinking of with the Joseph character I introduced. He'd been on Days as Chris from the gym and American's might know him as Ross the Intern. I'm an Australian so I wasn't familiar with him either but I caught a bit of his stuff and I just thought he'd be a wonderful foil for Uncle John and addition to the DiMera household.

Anyway, just thought I'd try and give you a visual because Joseph ends up being an important part of this story.

Hope you enjoy more of this story...

**Chapter TWELVE**

A week later Sami was walking down the stairs of the DiMera mansion, absently screwing the top back on one of the twin's bottle after having just put them down for a nap. The sound of EJ's voice told her that he was still here even after he'd kissed her goodbye ten minutes ago and she smiled to hear his voice, feeling an excited flutter. She made her feel like a giddy school girl around him but she just didn't care. Sami walked up to the doorway into the sitting room to see EJ on the phone, his back to her. She was about to walk up behind him and throw her arms around his waist but then she heard his next words.

"Yes," he laughed, "Samantha has no idea - I just tell her I have meetings and she doesn't even question it… very convenient really."

Sami froze and then hastily stepped back behind the door in case he turned around and saw her. She leant closer to the door, listening intently.

"Yes, I know the one," said EJ and she saw him nodding through the crack of the door, "It's very nice and more importantly no one is going to see us there."

Sami bit her lip, trying not to let her imagination run away with her but he wasn't making it easy.

"I'm looking forward to it too," he said and turned round and she could see the smile on his face, "I know it's been hard for us keeping this under the radar but it won't be for too much longer."

He laughed again then.

"Yes the wedding has been a real blessing in disguise," he agreed with the mystery person, "Samantha is so distracted that she hasn't noticed anything awry thank goodness… but you know Samantha, it's hard to keep ahead of her at the best of times so I think we need to keep on being very careful about this."

Sami gasped and then covered her mouth with one hand - who the hell was he talking to and what were they talking about? It couldn't be what it sounded like - it just couldn't!

"So lunch then?" he said and smiled again, "Just the two of us - I'm looking forward to it. It will give us a chance to really get to know each other properly without Samantha around, just as long as no one sees us. The last thing I need is someone reporting back to Samantha that they saw us together… that's a good idea… I'm sure the hotel will do room service."

Sami scowled at this, hotel… room service?! What _was_ this?? EJ hung up then while she was fuming away to herself and then realised too late that he was walking out of the sitting room and directly towards where she was standing in the hall. She had no where to go to get out of his way in time so she did the only thing she could and bolted to the hall closet, closing the door just as she heard EJ come out and then head up the stairs. Sami shook her head… what had just happened then? She stood there in the closet, trying to make sense of it all.

Sami gasped when the closet door was suddenly open and yet again John was standing there… of course - it was like he had radar or something.

"Grey jacket," he instructed her calmly, not even blinking this time at finding her there and Sami grimaced, reaching behind her for the requested item and handing it to him.

He went to close the door of the closet but then a thought occurred to him.

"You know, I'm planning on going out later again today and I'll need my black coat for that," he told her expressionlessly, "Shall we meet back here at say about 4pm?"

Sami just gave him a very unimpressed look to which he just shrugged and closed the closet door and headed out the front door of the house. Marlena stood unnoticed at the top of the stairs and made a worried face before turning back round and heading up the stairs again. If she'd lingered even a couple of seconds longer she needn't have been so worried… well, not about John anyway because she would have seen Sami emerging from the closet. Instead she met EJ coming down the hallway, finally heading off to work.

"What's wrong?" he asked with a little frown when he saw her face.

"I've just watched John talking to the closet," said Marlena anxiously, "What do you think he was doing?"

"I don't know," said EJ, pulling a thoughtful face, "Maybe he's got a direct line to Mr Tumnus or something."

"My husband is talking to coats EJ!" said Marlena, not amused by his flippancy.

"Let's face it Marlena," said EJ with a little grimace, "He's done weirder things."

"Well yes," admitted Marlena, "But I thought he was getting over all that."

"Marlena," said EJ gently, "Have you allowed yourself to consider the possibility that this might be it? That this is John now and it's not really going to change?"

"Yes," sighed Marlena, "I've thought about it."

"And?" he prompted her.

"And I'm still thinking about it," she confessed and gave a heavy sigh.

EJ made a sympathetic face at her and patted her shoulder before making his way back down the stairs, ready to leave for work now. Sami stopped him as he was about to walk out the door.

"Still here?" she asked unnecessarily, feigning ignorance.

"Yes," he smiled, "Just had to make a couple of business calls but I'm off now."

He leant down and kissed her.

"I'll see you tonight," he told her, "Love you."

"I was thinking," she said hastily as he went to go again, "Maybe I could bring the twins to the office and we could all have lunch together."

"Well that sounds fantastic sweetheart," he told her ruefully, "But I've got a business meeting with some clients for lunch today - can we do a rain check?"

"Of course," she said brightly, her stomach churning now.

"Great," he said, giving her another quick kiss, "Talk to you soon darling."

Sami just smiled up at him and nodded, the smiled frozen to her face until he closed the door and then it immediately turned into a mask of anxious worry.

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami paced around the sitting room nervously, unable to sit still. The twins were playing happily with one another and Sami was grateful for that at least. The over heard conversation from earlier on was haunting her and she just couldn't stop thinking about it. She was sure there was a perfectly reasonable explanation for it all… she just couldn't think of it right then, that's all. Sami checked her watch again and saw that it was almost lunch time and could stand it no longer. She needed to find out what the hell was going on. A quick look over at the twins told her they were still fine

"Oh hi Marcie, it's me," said Sami with a fake smile which was a little crazy seeing as the other woman was on the end of the phone and couldn't see her, "I was just looking to leave a message for EJ. I don't want to ring him on his cell because I know he's got a meeting with a client for lunch and I don't want to interrupt."

"Oh," said the other woman in surprise, "Hello Mrs DiMera. Well Mr DiMera is out for lunch certainly but he doesn't have any meeting with a client scheduled."

"Are you sure?" said Sami, keeping her voice calm.

"I'm very sure," said Marcie, "I make all of his appointments with clients and record it on my books."

"Oh silly me," said Sami brightly, her stomach suddenly churning again, "I guess I heard him wrong - don't know where my head is nowadays. All this wedding organising is taking up valuable brain space it would seem."

"I can give Mr DiMera a call for you now if you like," the other woman.

"No, no," said Sami hastily, "I'll call him, that's fine, thank you Marcie."

"Very well then," said Marcie in her usual calm fashion, "Was there anything else I can help you with Mrs DiMera?"

"Ah no… except," said Sami distractedly, trying to work out what all this meant, "Do you mind not telling my husband what an air head I was? I mean, he'll just worry and think I'm doing too much - can you do that for me Marcie?"

"Of course Mrs DiMera," she said smoothly, "That's no problem at all."

Sami hung up the phone and stood there for a long moment, a bit dazed before she sat down heavily on the sofa. The twins immediately decided to drag themselves up and clamber all over her but even their playful antics couldn't dispel the feeling of dread in Sami's stomach.

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami heard the front door bell later that afternoon but didn't bother stopping what she was doing. She was in the kitchen and she'd decided earlier in the morning that she'd have another go at cooking for the family. Her last attempt had been somewhat less than successful and she'd wanted to try and prove to everyone that she could this whole cooking thing if she put her mind to it. So she'd decided on making satay chicken and rice. The recipe seemed simple enough, so that she was confident that she could make the satay sauce from scratch. Consequently that was why she was currently grinding up peanuts in a mortar and pestle to make a nut paste for the sauce.

Her mind, however, wasn't really on the job. Even as she crushed those nuts her thoughts were occupied with EJ and his mystery phone call and supposed meeting that never really happened… or at least not with whom he said it did. EJ was lying to her and she didn't know why. Crystal's dire warnings came back to haunt her again and she tried desperately not to think about them. She was so involved in her thoughts, alternating between being frightened and being mad, that she didn't even notice the person watching her from the doorway of the kitchen.

"Oh my, are those anyone's nuts in particular dear?"

Sami's head snapped up at the sound of the woman's voice.

"Emily!" said Sami in surprise, "Oh hi! How are you?"

"Better than you by the looks of it my dear," said Emily kindly, taking in the stressed look on the younger woman's face.

"Oh… I…" Sami looked down at the now macerated nuts and gave a rueful smile, "I decided I'd cook… seemed like a good idea at the time…"

"But now you're not so sure?" finished Emily calmly, walking into the kitchen, not entirely convinced that she was getting the full story but letting that be for the moment.

"It looks so easy when Martha Stewart does it," grimaced Sami, "Even Rolf makes it look simple."

"Oh cooking is like everything in life," said Emily, "You just wing it and fake confidence until you get it right. So would you like a hand with that dear?"

"Oh no," said Sami, "I couldn't ask you to do that."

"You didn't," said Emily with a little smile, "I offered, now what are you up to."

"I have to get this…" Sami pointed to the gloopy, vaguely odd coloured paste she was working on, "To look like that…"

She pointed to the beautifully displayed picture of the satay chicken sticks in the cooking book she had open beside her on the bench.

"You know in my day cook books didn't come with pictures," said Emily with a wink, "Far less pressure all round I think."

"I think I would have liked that," sighed Sami.

"Now let's see what we can do about this," said Emily, coming to stand beside Sami.

Fifteen minutes Sami was looking at something that very closely resembled the picture in the cook book and gave Emily a duly impressed look.

"Wow," she said, "If I wasn't already married to EJ I'd marry you!"

"Your husband said the same thing to me the other day," she laughed.

"Oh," said Sami, suddenly realising, "I'm monopolising you and I didn't even ask – did you come to see EJ because he's at the office."

_Supposedly._

The thought made her frown a little, having momentarily forgotten her troubles in the company of Emily.

"Actually dear I came to visit with you and twins," said Emily with a shake of her head, "If that's alright."

"Of course," said Sami hastily, "They'll be up soon from their nap – do you want to wait? We could have some coffee and cake… I promise I'll make neither."

"I would have taken my chances dear," smiled Emily, "I'm a tough old bird but that sounds lovely."

"I'll just get Rolf and put all this away," said Sami, looking down at all the satay sticks that just had to marinate now and just needed cooking for tonight's meal.

The twins awoke in the midst of it all so it was a bit frantic but eventually they were happily crawling around on the back patio while Emily and Sami had coffee together.

"Ah," said Emily as a peacock wandered by in the garden, "The infamous Smokey I see."

"EJ told you did he?" she laughed.

"Indeed he did," smiled Emily, "It sounded like quite the proposal."

"Yeah well not every man will set a peacock on fire for you," mused Sami and then bit her lip.

"What is it dear?" asked Emily, seeing her sudden change of mood.

"It's nothing," she said quickly and tried to give a bright smile.

Emily just arched an eyebrow at her and Sami grimaced.

"It's complicated," she confessed.

"A complicated nothing," said Emily thoughtfully, "You're in luck my dear, that's my speciality."

"You'd think it would be mine by now too," said Sami with a sad sigh.

"EJ?" queried Emily calmly.

"Yes," she said with another sigh, "We've always had this kind of… complex history."

"All the best love stories do dear girl," said Emily knowingly, "Take my husband Harry and me – oh but that man drove me to distraction! I never knew if I wanted to kiss him or wait till he fell asleep and club him to death with a fry pan half the time."

"Emily!" laughed Sami, shaking her head at the older woman's candour.

"So what is it that he's done, or hasn't done or is going to do that's got you so upset my dear?" asked Emily, taking a sip of her coffee.

"Nothing," said Sami hastily.

"I think those nuts would beg to differ," she said dryly.

"Yeah well," said Sami reluctantly, "I guess you already worked this out about me… you know, considering how we met and all but I can over react sometimes."

"It was barely noticeable," said Emily impressively straight faced seeing as the first time they'd met Sami had been screaming profanities at her, "And so you think you're over reacting now about something?"

"I don't know Emily," said Sami honestly, "It's just that my life right now is _so_ good. I've never been this happy before… ever! And I feel like…"

"Something has to go wrong," Emily finished for her.

"It always has in the past," said Sami sadly, "Particularly with men."

Sami looked down at her cup of coffee then and bit her lip.

"Emily," she confessed softly, "I don't know what I'd do if I lost EJ now – I think it would kill me."

"And what makes you think you are losing him?" asked Emily, "Because I saw him just the other day and he seems as crazy about you as he's always been."

"I don't know how to say this Emily," said Sami uncertainly, not sure why she was unburdening this on the other woman only that it felt good to talk so honestly about things with someone, "But EJ and I… well, in the past… and I guess you never lose it but EJ and I are…"

"Exceptionally good liars?" Emily filled in calmly.

"Y… yes," stammered Sami in shock, feeling embarrassed to admit it but it was true.

It was what frightened her about this whole thing. They'd lied to each other so convincingly in the past that Sami was frightened her love for him was blinding her to it again.

"Oh don't look so surprised dear," said Emily with a casual wave of her hand, "Takes one to know one – Harry and I had our moments I can tell you."

Emily leaned forward then and patted Sami's hand reassuringly.

"Let an old woman who's lived a very full and… well at times unconventional life," said Emily, "That man of yours loves you. I mean _really_ loves you – not that wishy washy love that people fall in and out of all the time but the way he loves you changes lives and is constant. Whatever you are worried about Sami… talk to him. I rather get the feeling that there is nothing you could shock each other with by now."

"We have set the bar pretty high," admitted Sami ruefully.

She looked over at Emily and gave her a grateful smile.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"You're welcome dear," said Emily with a half smile, "Just promise me you won't turn into one of those couples that just do what everyone expects all the time and the highlight of their days is choosing which television shows to watch together. Boring as bat shit if you ask me."

"Emily!" said Sami shocked but then had to burst out laughing to which the twins joined in happily.

**oooOOOOooo**

Later that night Sami lay in bed on her side, listening to the sounds of EJ having a shower. She'd asked him over dinner how his lunch meeting with his client had gone today and he'd happily reported that it went well. She'd watched him lie so easily to her and it had frightened her. They used to lie to each other all the time back in the day but it had been a long time now since that had been their way with one another… at least she'd assumed that was the case. She certainly hadn't lied to him at all - except over some minor things, like the whole going to see Chelsea thing an that didn't really count. It wasn't like she was off seeing another man… although technically she did inadvertently see another man naked but still, that wasn't the point!

The sound of the shower stopped abruptly and a few minutes later she heard him walk out from the bathroom. The bed dipped as he got into the other side but she kept her eyes resolutely closed, feigning sleep. She felt him lean over her and press a soft kiss of to her shoulder before settling in behind her, curving his body against hers and throwing an arm over her waist. The smell of him, all clean from his shower assailed her and with his body wrapped around her she felt swamped, lost in him and it didn't bring her the comfort it usually did.

It took her a long time to fall asleep and when she did her dreams weren't happy ones.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter THIRTEEN**

Sami sat in the kitchen, her fingers tapping distractedly rhythm on the table top. She'd caught EJ making another mystery phone call again this morning. Well, she'd actually been quietly stalking him from room to room but her stealth had paid off and she'd heard him make arrangements to see someone that afternoon. Sami's tapping picked up speed as she recalled the conversation. It had definitely not been business like and when she'd asked him about his day he'd lied and said he had clients to see all afternoon and he'd be stuck in his office the entire time. She'd heard him make his plans and she knew he absolutely wasn't going to be in his office all day today.

For some reason she just couldn't bring herself to talk to him about it. She knew she was being crazy and that she could just put herself out of her misery by talking to him about it but would she be able to trust what he told her seeing as he'd already been lying to her? And then Sami had tried to convince herself that she didn't want to know - that she could just pretend that nothing had changed and she could just ignore whatever this was. Deep down though Sami knew she just didn't have that in her. She was a woman of action and this doing nothing was driving her crazy, so she gave up.

"John," said Sami, suddenly bursting into the sitting room where he was reading quietly by himself, "Can you look after the twins for me for a little while please? I've got to go out."

John looked up from the book he was reading and arched an eyebrow at her.

"When did I become a day care centre?" he asked her flatly.

"It's an emergency John," said Sami, walking into the room, "I wouldn't ask only… is that a romance novel?"

Sami stared at the cover of 'The Vicar's Daughter', momentarily distracted and John just looked back unapologetically. He'd gotten quite addicted to them actually and seeing as Blondie wasn't being too forth coming in that department it helped to pass the time.

"Yes," he said expressionlessly.

"Why?" she asked him.

"Why not?" he countered.

Sami shook her head, she didn't have time for this.

"So will you do it?" she asked him.

John put down his book and looked her up and down calmly.

"You look like you're going to do something crazy," he informed her evenly.

"No I'm not!" she protested hotly, "Why would you say that? I'm not going to do anything crazy - why would I? What's there to be crazy about? No crazy here!"

"Well," said John ironically, sitting back in his chair, "_I'm_ convinced."

"John," began Sami warningly but he interrupted her.

"Can I just say something here?" he asked her, leaning back in his chair.

"Unless it's a yes to the baby sitting I wish you wouldn't," said Sami flatly.

"There's an old saying that might be helpful here," continued on John as though she hadn't spoken.

"Oh god!" said Sami hopelessly.

"Life is like a box of chocolate…" began John, giving a very sage-like nod.

"You never know what you're going to get," finished Sami with a roll of her eyes, "Very enlightening John, thanks for that."

"Of course you do," said John with a confused frown, "It's right there on the box - they have the picture of the chocolate and then what's inside it. Any idiot knows that."

Sami grimaced realising that he was right - so what the hell had Forrest Gump's mother been going on about then?!

"So what about the chocolates then?" asked Sami in resignation.

"What chocolates?" asked John expressionlessly.

"The chocolates you were just comparing life to!" said Sami in exasperation.

"That wasn't me," said John blankly, "You're thinking of someone else."

"You just said life is like a box of chocolates!" exclaimed Sami, feeling herself begin to lose all control over this conversation.

"How so?" asked John looking up at her with great interest.

"No, that's what you said!" said Sami in frustration.

"Why would I say that?" asked John mystified, "Life is nothing like a box of chocolates… a box of matches maybe or a packet of cotton buds definitely… but chocolates - don't see it myself."

Sami opened her mouth, almost about to fall into the trap of asking how life was like a box of matched or cotton buds but then closed it again quickly. She'd already disappeared far enough into the rabbit hole as it was!

"So baby sitting," she sighed, exhausted by their conversation, "Yes… no?"

"Sure, why not?" he shrugged, "I can read some of my book to Boy and Girl Baby."

"No!" said Sami in horror, "Do not do that John! Promise me!"

John looked a little put out at the vehemence of her reaction but gave a little shrug,

"Fine," he huffed, "So where are you going exactly?"

"I've got some wedding stuff to do," Sami replied evenly.

John seemed to accept this at face value and after organising what he could and couldn't do with the still sleeping twins she hurried out of her house. In a way she hadn't lied to John - she did have some wedding stuff to take care of - like making sure some hussy didn't run off with the groom!

And Sami knew exactly who that hussy was too after today's phone call.

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami was met at the door by Henderson, the ever faithful man servant of Victor Kiriarkis.

"I want to see Nicole!" snapped Sami rudely, not up to niceties right then and then she frowned, "Not that I know what she's even doing still living here seeing as the divorce from Victor was final a couple of weeks ago!"

Henderson didn't say anything to that but he'd been wondering the same thing himself but was too professional to say anything. Sami pushed past him and stood in the hallway, looking around.

"Is she here?" asked Sami bitterly, "Upstairs?"

"Ah Ms Walker is… indisposed at the moment Mrs DiMera," said Henderson tactfully, "If you'd like you can leave her a message and I'll make sure she gets it."

"Don't bother," snapped Sami, "This message I want to deliver in person!"

"But I really don't think Ms Walker should be disturbed…" began Henderson anxiously but Sami cut him off.

"That woman couldn't _be_ anymore disturbed!" she bit out and headed straight for the stairs, intent on putting an end to this once and for all.

Only one person was going to be walking away from this with all their body parts intact and it wasn't going to be Nicole 'Street' Walker!

Sami stormed up the stairs of the Kirarkis mansion, grabbing a vase as she went by, her mind a white hot blur of rage. Henderson stood nervously at the bottom of the stairs as the woman with the crazy eyes practically ran up the stairs and sighed.

_Were there no ladies left in the world?_

Sami got to Nicole's door and threw open the door.

"You complete tart!" she screamed, standing in the doorway, her face bright red, "I'm going to kill you, you cheating bitch!"

Nicole sat up in bed, her eyes wide in shock, followed a couple of seconds later by the man in the bed beside her.

"You!" Sami hissed, her rage momentarily blinding her and then a little more confused, "…you?"

Sami looked between Nicole and the man in her bed.

"Who are you?" asked Sami in bewilderment.

"This is Greg," said Nicole calmly.

"Actually it's Gary," the man corrected her.

"Really?" said Nicole with a frown, "Are you sure?"

"Pretty much," shrugged Gary.

"Wh… what are you doing?" Sami asked, trying to work this out.

She was so sure that it was going to be EJ in her bed and now she didn't know what to think now.

"Reading the bible together," said Nicole sarcastically, "What does it look like Sami?"

"You know," said Gary a little uncomfortably, "Maybe I should go - you two obviously have stuff to talk about."

He got hastily got out of bed then, pulling on his pants while Sami suddenly found the ceiling to be absolutely riveting. Gary just threw on his shirt, not bothering to do it up and grabbed his shoes.

"Well… umm… bye," he said to Nicole and then gave a little frazzled smile at Sami, "Ah… nice to meet you."

"Ah… you too?" said Sami, not sure what else she was meant to say in the circumstances.

Gary then edged past Sami and made good his escape.

"Well you're a real buzz kill," said Nicole unhappily, sitting up in bed more.

Nicole eyed her suspiciously then, taking in her wild look and the vase Sami was still clutching.

"What's got you all hot and bother Sami?" asked Nicole in annoyance, "I'm going to guess from the jealous wife act that you thought EJ was with me. Well he isn't here as you can see and just out of curiosity - why would you think he would be?"

Sami looked taken aback then, not knowing what to think - she was so sure it would have been Nicole somehow managing to get her hooks into EJ but it looks like she was wrong.

"You think he's off with some skanky ho right now don't you?" asked Nicole incredulously, the penny suddenly dropping.

Sami didn't answer but her expression gave her away.

"That bastard!" said Nicole, sitting up properly in bed, "I just assumed when he was going to cheat on you I'd be that skanky ho - what the hell?!"

Sami arched an eyebrow at her at that and Nicole suddenly realised what she said.

"You know where I was going with that," she said with a casual wave of her hand.

Sami gave her a disgusted look and shook her head.

"Oh don't give me that look," said Nicole with an uncaring shrug, "You obviously thought it was a possibility otherwise you wouldn't have been doing your crazy woman routine just now. Unless of course you're just going house to house and hoping you'd strike it lucky eventually and find out whoever it is that EJ's cheating on you with."

"EJ's not cheating on me!" said Sami heatedly.

"Well not with me, no," sighed Nicole, "What is wrong with that man?"

"He's got good taste," said Sami snidely.

"It can't be that great," Nicole snarked back, "After all he married you."

"Shut up Nicole!" snapped Sami.

"Shut up Nicole?" she mimicked, "Wow, you used to be able to do a lot better than that back in the day."

Sami just made an annoyed grunt and turned on her heel, intending to leave now.

"Hey!" protested Nicole with a frown, "What are you doing?"

"Leaving," said Sami flatly.

"To go and find out who EJ actually is doing the nasty with?" Nicole enquired of her.

"My marriage is none of you business," said Sami, her voice hard.

"Look, you just chased away my afternoon tennis lesson," said Nicole with a shrug, "And you're obviously not at the peak of your game right now… so why don't I come with you? After all, if you think about it… EJ's kind of cheating on both of us really."

"What?!" exclaimed Sami in a kind of horrified confusion.

"It's like I said before," she said blithely with a wave of her hand, "I was next in line to hop on the EJ express and some other harlot has gotten in first. Well I don't like it when people cut in front of me - so I've got just as much right as you do to hunt down this little witch and tear her a new one."

"Are you drunk?" asked Sami flatly at hearing her insane reasoning.

"A little," she admitted unapologetically, "But I can still have your back."

"The only time you've ever wanted my back was so you could stick a knife in it," said Sami, unimpressed by her offer.

"But now we're on the same side," protested Nicole, "Scorned by the same man - we're like Thelma and Louise."

"They drove their car over a cliff at the end of that movie," pointed out Sami dourly, "They both died."

"Really?" asked Nicole in surprise, "Huh… I always stopped watching it after Brad Pitt put his shirt back on."

"Look, this is a moot point anyway," said Sami, "All I know is that EJ was meeting the little home wrecker this afternoon but I don't know where."

"Hm," said Nicole, pondering this for a moment, "How do you know?"

"I overheard them this morning on the phone together," said Sami sadly, feeling defeated now.

"Was he on his cell phone or the house phone?" asked Nicole intently.

"What does that matter?" said Sami in annoyance.

"Sami," said Nicole, wanting her answer.

"The house phone," said Sami in exasperation, "Happy now?!"

"Did EJ ring them or did she ring EJ?" asked Nicole, still pushing.

"EJ rang her I guess because I didn't hear the phone ring," said Sami with a shrug, "So what?"

"So," said Nicole as though she was explaining to a backward child, "If we go back to your house now we can just press re-dial and hope no one's used the phone while you've been on your wild goose chase here. Then we'll know where it was that EJ rang and might be able to get an address or something from there."

"Actually," said Sami, trying not to be impressed by Nicole's reasoning, "I can do one better than that. The mansion has more than one line into it. I can ring Rolf now on the kitchen phone and get him to press re-dial for us on the sitting room phone for us - it will be quicker that way."

"See," said Nicole smugly, "I told you I'd have your back. So how about it Sami - you and I team up and teach that man of ours a lesson?"

"First of all EJ is _my_ man," said Sami in annoyance, "He's _never_ been your man and secondly, that sounds like the worst idea in the entire history of ideas!"

"And yet I'm not hearing a 'no'," said Nicole gleefully, "You make the call and I'll get dressed and we can take it from there."

**oooOOOOooo**

"I can't believe you talked me into letting you tag along," grumbled Sami half an hour later as they walked into the foyer of The Belvedere Hotel.

"Oh you love that I'm here," said Nicole, unconcerned.

"Your Tourette's is playing up again," said Sami sourly, "It must be because it sounded like you said that I loved having you round and we both know that couldn't be further from the truth."

"So what do we do now?" frowned Sami as they stood in the rather swanky looking foyer of the hotel and looked around.

It would have been too much to hope for that EJ and the mystery woman could have just been standing there making out in the lobby just waiting to be caught out. Although that was a pretty weird thing to be hoping for Sami had to admit.

"Watch and learn," said Nicole confidently, sweeping over to the front counter and fluttering her eye lashes at the middle aged, distinguished looking man behind the counter.

Sami rolled her eyes but followed her over and stood beside Nicole and smiled at the Concierge as well.

"Well hello there," purred Nicole, "How are you this afternoon…"

"Jean Luc," replied the man, the slightest hint of a French accent in his voice, "I'm am very well Madame… may I be of assistance at all?"

"Well yes Jean Luc," said Nicole with a little simper, "I was wondering if you'd be able to help me find someone - a dear friend of mine in fact. We used to go to school together and I want to surprise her."

"Is this person a guest here?" asked Jean Luc.

"Yes," said Nicole confidently.

"And what is her name?" he asked.

Nicole opened her mouth to reply and then realised she didn't actually have an answer to that question so her mouth hung open rather comically for a long moment as she scrambled to think of something to say. In the end she gave up and gave Jean Luc a brilliant smile, grabbing Sami's arm.

"Will you excuse us for one moment please?" asked Nicole brightly and quickly did an about face, practically dragging Sami with her over into a corner.

"Wow," smirked Sami, pretending to be impressed, "That was really something - so much to learn from you! I think I'll have to go back and ask Jean Luc for pen and paper so I can write all of it down so I make sure I don't forget anything."

"Very funny!" snapped Nicole, put out, "How are we meant to do this if we don't even know the little trollops name?"

"Well that's a very good question Nicole," said Sami sweetly, "But I'm just hear to watch and learn so don't ask me."

"Fine," Nicole bit out, "I'll figure it out… let's see - we could describe EJ to the Jean Luc and see if he remembers him at all. The guys pretty distinctive after all."

"EJ wouldn't need to stop at the Concierge desk," argued Sami, "He and this woman obviously have a prearranged thing going on - he'd just go straight to her room."

"We could keep ringing him on his cell phone and then walk up and down the corridors until we hear his phone," she offered next.

"This place is four stories high and there are over one hundred rooms!" protested Sami, "That is never going to work!"

"Well I don't see you coming up with anything better," said Nicole unhappily.

"Remind me exactly why I let you come along?" said Sami with an unimpressed look.

"Alright, alright," scowled Nicole, thinking hard, "How about this then - we set off the fire alarm and that means everyone will have to evacuate the building. We wait outside and there is a good chance that EJ and Little Miss Whorelina will come out together during the building evacuation."

"That is the most ridiculously idiotic, flawed plan I've ever heard," said Sami flatly.

Nicole just looked calmly back at her and arched an eyebrow as Sami folded her arms in front of herself and returned her gaze steadily.

"And worth a shot," admitted Sami finally.

Nicole gave her a triumphant look and put her hands on her hips.

"See," she grinned, "Glad you bought me along now aren't you?"

"Let's not go crazy," said Sami flatly, "Let's just say I'm mildly less appalled that you're here."

"Ah," grinned Nicole, "Feel the love - okay, group hug!"

"Don't touch me!" said Sami in annoyance, swatting away her hands as Nicole went to hug her, "This is just a… a business arrangement between us! We are in no way friends do you hear me?!"

"I love it when you play hard to get," said Nicole with a smirk.

"Cut that out!" snapped Sami.

"Tease," pouted Nicole.

"So let's do this already," said Sami in exasperation, "The longer we hang around here wasting time…"

"The more time EJ and that woman from Slutavia have to visit Orgasm Town - all stops included along the way," finished Nicole blithely.

"What is it going to take for me to get you to stop talking?" asked Sami, sounding less than impressed by her graphic description of what EJ and some random woman might be doing right now.

"A very large vodka," replied Nicole instantly.

"Gee I must have left that in my other purse," said Sami sarcastically.

"Me too," sighed Nicole but she sounded utterly serious.

"Well I suppose the first thing to do is actually find a fire alarm to set off," mused Sami, ignoring that last comment and looking around.

The two of them wandered up and down a bit until Nicole waved frantically to her.

"Way to be discrete Nicole," muttered Sami under her breath as several people turned to look at her.

Sami joined Nicole over by the elevators to where there was a door that opened out into a corridor that led out into the gardens of the hotel. Nicole ushered Sami threw it and proudly displayed the little box on the wall.

"There you go," she said happily, "You just have to break the glass and then the alarm will sound and everyone will have to leave the building. Including EJ and the hussy."

"Won't all the sprinklers go off too?" frowned Sami, suddenly not sure that this was a great idea.

"Better the sprinklers than your husband honey," said Nicole knowingly.

Sami had to admit, that was pretty hard to argue with.

"Okay," said Nicole, nodding towards the break glass fire alarm, "You do it then."

"Why do I have to do it?" frowned Sami.

"Well one - it was you who couldn't keep your husband satisfied so he had to check out greener pastures," began Nicole which earned her a death stare from Sami, "And secondly I'm more of an ideas person whilst you've got the powerful ropey arms of a worker."

Nicole was rewarded with a slap on the arm for that effort.

"Ouch!" protested Nicole, rubbing her arm, "Save all that energy for breaking the glass and putting the smack down on Little Ho White when she runs out of the building okay? I'm just here to help - same side remember Sami!"

"Glad you keep reminding me," she grumped, "Otherwise it would be pretty easy to forget."

Sami looked back at the little fire alarm box on the wall and then looked up at the ceiling, trying not to picture EJ in the arms of some other woman but not being able to help herself. She slipped off her shoe and stood in front of the alarm, determinedly raising her doffed shoe above her head.

"What are you doing?"

Both Nicole and Sami froze and then slowly turned their heads to look at Jean Luc standing there with a very suspicious look on his face. He'd been watching the two women after his rather strange interaction with the tall one and he didn't need the years of working in a hotel to tell him they were up to no good. When he'd seen them disappear behind the door he thought it would be prudent of him to investigate what they were doing. Turned out it was just as well he did by the looks of it.

"I… I… saw a spider," said Sami weakly, still with her shoe raised above her head.

Jean Luc walked over to where she was standing and looked at the wall.

"It's gone now," said Sami, finally lowering her arm and giving him a bright smile.

"It was probably the smell of her feet," offered up Nicole helpfully which earned her another unimpressed look from Sami, "I know _I'm_ feeling a little woozy now!"

"Then perhaps some fresh air would be in order," said Jean Luc smoothly, "Ladies…?"

He indicated the door that led back into the foyer and Sami and Nicole exchanged looks but there was nothing they could do short of creating a bigger scene then they already had. Jean Luc walked with them through the foyer and out the door so that they were standing in front of the hotel now.

"Enjoy your afternoon ladies," said Jean Luc most cordially but there was no doubting that he didn't mean for them to be doing so at The Belvedere.

Sami grimaced and gave a last lingering look at the hotel, realising she'd lost her opportunity to thwart EJ's liaison and suddenly felt very depressed. Guess there was nothing for it now - she was just going to have to talk to EJ about it what was exactly was going on. They walked back to Nicole's car in silence.

"Well," said Nicole, blowing out a long breath, "Guess there is only one thing left to do now."

Sami frowned and looked at her in confusion, doubting that Nicole had come to the same conclusion she had. Nicole saw her expression and just gave a knowingly look and a mischievous smile.

_Uh oh…_


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter FOURTEEN**

EJ arrived home later that afternoon excited. He'd organised with Caroline to baby sit the twins over night so that he and Sami could have some alone time together. Caroline had been more than happy to offer and EJ felt like he and Sami could do with the break, even if it was for just one night. However things hadn't gone quite to plan. He walked into the sitting room to find Ali and Johnny in their play pen and John sitting on the sofa beside them, reading his book.

"Uncle John," smiled EJ, putting down his brief case, "How are you?"

He walked over to the twins who had excitedly pulled themselves up on the bars of the play pen and were clambering for his attention. EJ grinned and kissed them both hello before picking them up in his arms.

"I'm not sure, certainly not who everyone thinks I am," said John, looking up from his book as EJ walked into the room.

"What?" asked EJ in confusion as the twins jabbered excitedly away at him.

"You asked me who I am," said John, "And I just told you."

"No Uncle John," said EJ in exasperation, "_How_ are you, not who are you. Why would I ask you who you are?"

Well this conversation wasn't off to a brilliant start - EJ didn't have high hopes for the rest of it all of a sudden.

"Where's Samantha?" asked EJ looking round, deciding to just changed the subject, it helped sometimes, "I have a surprise for her."

"She's out," said John expressionlessly, "Surprise."

"Oh," said EJ, disappointed, "Do you know where?"

"Wedding stuff apparently," John told him, "I think she's organising the chocolates - she was talking about them a lot before she left."

"Oh," said EJ again and then gave the babies a little wink, "Okay. Have you been looking after the twins for her?"

"That was the agreement we eventually reached," said John with a nod.

"Thanks for that," said EJ, "Were they any trouble?"

"Depends," said John evenly, going back to his book, "I mean it's not like they set light to any of my peacocks or anything but Boy Baby made me lose fifty bucks earlier."

EJ had taken a seat across from John and put a baby on each knee so he could get a bit more comfortable. His head snapped up at that last statement though.

"What does that mean?" asked EJ with a sudden feeling of uneasiness, "How did Johnny make you lose fifty dollars Uncle?"

"Well," said John conversationally, "I thought seeing as he was so much bigger than Girl Baby that it would be a definite advantage. Meanwhile Rolf maintained that Girl Baby was lighter and would be able to move faster because of it. Turns out he was right… damn it."

EJ just stared at John for a long moment, hardly able to believe that he was going to ask this next question.

"Uncle John," said EJ dazedly, "Please tell me you and Rolf haven't been racing the twins for money?"

"Okay," said John obligingly, "But you're probably going to work it out for yourself when you see the racing lanes we drew in chalk in the hallway."

"Uncle John - you can't do that!" exclaimed EJ in horror.

"Can and have," John corrected him blithely, "And why not?"

"Because it's wrong!" said EJ in vexation.

"Why?" asked John with a shrug, "They both enjoyed themselves and they are finally bringing some money into the family. Okay I lost this time but last time I made twenty bucks on Boy Baby when he finished his dry biscuit first and another thirty when Girl Baby woke up first from her nap."

"So this is what you and Rolf do when Samantha and I leave the twins in your care?" asked EJ weakly, "You gamble with them?"

"You see I thought the race thing wasn't a gamble," sighed John musingly, "Just goes to show you - you can never judge a book by it's cover. What good are long legs if you just sit on your butt and chew on your hand?"

John arched an eyebrow at Johnny then as the baby sat happily on EJ's knee.

"And yes Boy Baby, I'm talking to you," he said dourly, "As soon as you come into your inheritance I'm expecting that money back."

Johnny squealed happily at his Great Uncle and clapped his hands together. Ali had been listening to John talk as well, just as fascinated by him. It was strange but the twins really did like John for some reason. It was hard to know how to argue with this one. The twins were obviously intrigued by John and always seemed happy to be around him so there didn't seem to be any harm done. It just felt very wrong to EJ for some reason but as often was the case with things involving John, he just couldn't quite work out why.

**oooOOOOooo**

"Here's to men," said Nicole, holding her up shot glass, "Can't live with them… can't kill them."

"Well you certainly didn't seem to be able to," said Sami with a grin, "If Victor is anything to go by."

"That was a misunderstanding," pouted Nicole.

"Sure it was," smirked Sami.

"Hey," said Nicole unhappily, "Less talking, more drinking!"

At that she licked the salt off her hand, threw back her shot of tequila and grabbed the slice of lime and sucked on it. Sami followed suit and pulled a face at the sharpness of the alcohol.

"Ha," laughed Nicole, "Lost your touch huh?"

Sami scowled but couldn't argue. Somehow Nicole had managed to talk her into going to a bar at five o'clock in the afternoon and they'd been there for the last hour. The Nightingale Bar was the latest hip and happening place in Salem but Sami had never been before. Bars weren't exactly her scene nowadays. The place was rapidly filling up now with people who had just finished work and were looking to relax. Somewhere along the line Nicole had organised for them to do tequila shots with beer chasers and Sami had to admit, she was starting to feel a little woozy now.

"You know I can't remember when I did something like this," confessed Sami, only slurring ever so slightly on her words and sucking on her lime absently, "It had to before I was even pregnant with the twins. Wait, I remember - I'd just told my Dad to love me or leave me and he chose leave me at the time."

"Funny," said Nicole, pouring another round for the two of them, "I did the same thing and Roman chose to love me."

"What?" frowned Sami.

"Ah… nothing," said Nicole hastily, thinking Sami probably wasn't quite up to hearing that she and Roman had slept together years ago.

Normally Nicole wasn't that compassionate but Sami was pretty down now so it was kind of like shooting fish in a barrel - no challenge so where was the fun?

"That was like two years ago now - how about you?" said Sami with a little frown, carrying on and deciding to ignore Nicole's last remark, "When did you last blow everything off in the afternoon and go to a bar?"

"Tuesday," said Nicole sounding very matter of fact.

"So not that long for you then?" said Sami mockingly.

"Well excuse me for not being tied down with children," said Nicole unapologetically.

"Ali and Johnny don't tie me down," protested Sami.

"Speaking of which - what did you do about the little rug rats?" asked Nicole.

"I rang my grandma Caroline and asked if she wouldn't mind taking over from John for the baby sitting," said Sami, "But it turns out that EJ had already organised her to go and get them. She's looking after them tonight because EJ had something planned for us."

"Probably feeling guilty and is doing something nice for you to make up for cheating on you," mused Nicole, "Bastard."

"He's not a bastard," said Sami, her lower lip starting to tremble somewhat, "I love him. He's great and wonderful and thoughtful and loving and…"

"Banging some other woman senseless," Nicole finished off blithely.

Sami made a distressed face and dropped her head desolately on the table top with a bang.

"Ow," she mumbled but remained face down on the table.

"Hey!" Nicole admonished her, "None of this! This isn't a 'Pity Party' Sami Brady - it's a 'Screw You EJ' party!"

"It's DiMera!" corrected Sami in annoyance, "It's Sami DiMera now Nicole!"

"Oh," said Nicole in surprise, "I wasn't going to bother changing over seeing as the marriage is pretty much kaput now - seems like a wasted effort to remember."

"My marriage isn't over!" exclaimed Sami hotly.

"So you're going to have one of those open marriages," said Nicole, perking up at that, "Great! So how do you feel about EJ parking his purple Porsche in my garage next?"

"NICOLE!" said Sami in absolute horror, completely taken aback by her rather graphic statement more so then the actual question for some reason.

"What?" she frowned unrepentantly, "Is it more of a Pinto? Doesn't matter - I've worked with less. Hey, what am I saying - so have you, you've been married to Lucas too!"

"Stop talking!" demanded Sami, unable to pick which thing to be appalled over first.

There were just so many to chose from!

"I am not talking about… about… you know whats… with you Nicole!" she hissed, "And from what I saw this afternoon you're garage is already pretty full!"

"Oh what Gerry?" asked Nicole with an unconcerned shrug, "He doesn't count - he's just my tennis coach."

"I think it was Gary actually," Sami corrected her with a roll of her eyes.

"Really?" said Nicole in confusion, "He just doesn't seem like a Gary to me for some reason."

"So what's the story with you two?" asked Sami curiously, "Are you seeing him?"

"Bits of him," said Nicole with a smirk, "He's just helping me with my tennis game although he did seem rather impressed with my ball handling skills already if earlier was any indication."

"You are disgusting!" said Sami flatly.

"You always were up tight about sex Sami," said Nicole with a casual wave of her hand, "What's up with that? That good Irish catholic upbringing of yours making you feel guilty about enjoying sex? Maybe if you'd been a little less rigid about the whole thing then EJ wouldn't have felt the need to be _rigid_ with some one else."

"My husband is plenty satisfied!" said Sami, glowering at Nicole.

"All evidence to the contrary," smirked Nicole.

"What do you know?" scoffed Sami, "You're not exactly an expert on marriage are you?"

"We weren't talking about marriage we were talking about sex Sami," said Nicole casually.

"Well I guess you are the expert on that," said Sami snidely, "I heard you wrote the book… or was that made the movie?"

"Hey look at that," said Nicole cheerfully unconcerned by her dig, "You're mean when you're drunk as well as sober - good to know."

"I don't know why I'm here," groaned Sami, making a depressed face, "I should just go home and talk to EJ about this."

"Oh right," sneered Nicole, "So he can lie to your face again - great plan Sami."

"Well this isn't helping," moped Sami.

"That's because you haven't drunk enough yet," Nicole reassured her, "And then we have to find you a man."

"I've got a man," said Sami with a sad little pout.

"Honey, you _had_ a man," corrected Nicole, "It's time to go shopping for a new one."

"But I like the one I've got," wailed Sami.

"Here," said Nicole unsympathetically, pouring her a double shot now, "Drink that and then we'll work on the other thing."

For some reason Sami did as Nicole said and felt her senses spin as all that alcohol hit her system at once.

"Alright then," said Nicole satisfied now that Sami was well on her way to becoming drunk enough to do this properly, "Let's go shopping."

She turned around in the booth and looked out at the sea of people that was all around them now. The place had certainly filled up all of a sudden.

"How about the brunette over there?" said Nicole, pointing to the stocky man in the corner talking to some friends.

"I don't want a man," protested Sami, "It's you who is newly single - we should be looking for you."

"We can do both," agreed Nicole happily, "What about that guy with the shaved head and great jacket on?"

Sami squinted blearily at where Nicole had nodded, trying to focus. Maybe she'd have better luck if she took her contacts out.

"Eh," said Sami without much enthusiasm, "What about the guy standing beside him for you, the one with the blue shirt?"

"Ugh," said Nicole pulling a face, "Pants are too tight. You can practically tell what religion he is from here."

"What?" asked Sami in confusion, her brain already pretty muddled.

"Think about it," Nicole said with a knowingly look.

Sami gave an exaggerated frown, thinking deeply and then finally worked out what Nicole was implying.

"Oh," she said and then as it really sunk in she blushed, "OH!"

"Hi there… can we buy you two lovely ladies a drink?"

Sami and Nicole both looked up at the two men who had suddenly appeared as though by magic at their booth. Sami opened her mouth to decline politely but Nicole beat her to it.

"Well sure but I should warn you gentlemen - we have expensive tastes," she cooed up at the two men who were both very good looking and well dressed.

"Well that's just fine," smiled the taller blonde one charmingly, "Because we both make a lot of money so you needn't feel guilty about that."

"Move your butt," hissed Nicole under her breath to Sami while still smiling sweetly up at the two men, "Then I guess we're all yours then."

Sami sighed and moved over and the two men took a seat.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ frowned and checked his watch, it was past six o'clock and she wasn't home yet. Caroline had already come and collected the twins and EJ was beginning to worry now. He'd tried to ring Sami's cell phone but she wasn't answering for some reason.

EJ had a feeling of impending doom come upon him suddenly then that he just couldn't seem to shake.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter FIFTEEN**

The two men had introduced themselves as Guy Mitchell, the tall, blonde one who'd spoken first and Ben Carmichael, a well built dark haired man with an easy smile. Sami and Nicole were side by side in the middle of the circular booth and Ben was on one end next to Nicole and Guy on the other, next to Sami.

"So investment bankers huh?" said Nicole, looking very interested, "I do love men who know how to handle their money."

"Well I guess we're definitely the guys for you then," smiled Ben, leaning closer to her, "Because we're great at that."

Sami was trying to focus on the conversation going on around her but her head was spinning a bit by this stage and she was finding it difficult. Nicole however managed to bring things back into focus for her of course.

"So I haven't seen you two here before," said Guy, "What brings you to lovely ladies to The Nightingale?"

"She just got dumped," said Nicole blithely.

"Nicole!" exclaimed Sami in annoyance, "No I didn't!"

"Dumped, cheated on… whatever," said Nicole with a wave of her hand.

Sami glowered at her which Nicole ignored completely.

"I can't imagine any man being silly enough to cheat on someone as beautiful as you," said Guy warmly to Sami.

"You'd be surprised," said Nicole with an unconcerned shrug, "Half of Salem has done it so you don't have to imagine too hard."

Sami opened her mouth to give Nicole and earful but she didn't give her the chance.

"I have to powder my nose," she announced and smiled ever so sweetly at Ben, "Do you mind?"

"Of course," he smiled back at her, sliding over and standing up, holding out his hand to take hers and help her out.

"Thank you," she cooed up at him.

"Hurry back," he said softly, kissing the back of her hand that he was still holding.

Sami rolled her eyes at the display.

Nicole strolled off then, hips swinging from side to side sexily and Sami shook her head. That woman had no shame.

"Wow," said Ben, sitting back down, "Your friends really something isn't she?"

"And how," said Sami flatly but did not mean that in the same way Ben seemed to.

"So what's her story?" asked Ben curiously.

"You don't have to answer that Sami," said Guy with a little smile, "Ben's just being nosey."

"Yeah well," shrugged Sami, still smarting from Nicole's comments, "What's there to tell, Nicole's just gotten back to town recently…"

A sudden wicked urge came over Sami then and she straightened up, intent on getting some revenge.

"She's been out of town for a couple of years," said Sami evenly, "But all the surgeries are done now and she's back looking to settle back into life in Salem."

"Surgery?" asked Ben a little surprised, "What, she's had work done?"

"And then some," said Sami straight faced, "She used to be a man."

"What?!" exclaimed Ben, his eyes nearly falling out of his head at this new piece of information.

"Oh yeah," said Sami blithely with a casual wave of her hand, "When she left Salem she was Nicholas and now that she's back - it's Nicole."

"Wow!" said Guy, "You could never tell. I would never have known if you hadn't said anything Sami."

"Well her height and those big man hands of hers give it away a bit but yeah, sure, they'd did a great job, I'm not denying it," said Sami nodding.

"So is she completely… I mean does she…?" Ben seemed to be having trouble filling in the next bit.

"It's gone," confirmed Sami calmly, "She keeps it in a jar. It used to be beside the bed but now I think it's in a cupboard somewhere. Anyway, she's trying to get back into the dating scene and I'm just here for some moral support."

"Phew," said Ben, slumping back against the booth wall, obviously gob smacked, "In a jar you say? Wow… I don't know… wow!"

"So are you… you're not…?" this time it was Guy who seemed to be having difficulty forming a sentence.

"I was born a woman," said Sami, feigning a regretful sigh, "Boring little old me."

"I wouldn't say that," said Guy warmly, leaning in a little closer, "From where I'm sitting you're anything but boring."

"So what did I miss?" asked Nicole, suddenly reappearing back at the booth.

Ben jumped up and looked suddenly kind of nervous.

"Nothing," he said hastily and stepped to one side so she could slide back into the booth.

Nicole sat down and settled herself whilst Ben retook his seat beside her, leaning in and examining her closely.

"What?" she said with an amused half smile on her face, "Planning on painting a picture are we?"

"No," said Ben pulling back a bit, "I was just… you're just so womanly… it's hard to take in."

"Yeah well," simpered Nicole, pleased by his comment, "If you've got it you've got it, what can I say?"

"So was it hard to come back to Salem?" asked Ben curiously, "You know… seeing everyone again."

"Oh Sami told you did she?" asked Nicole with a roll of her eyes, assuming Ben was talking about her return to divorce Victor, "I guess I just thought - screw it - you know? People can think what they like but I wanted that man out of my life and did what I had to do."

"It was very brave of you," said Ben, kind of in awe, "I can't imagine what you must have had to go through to get rid of 'that man'."

"Well there were definitely some hard times," mused Nicole, "He didn't make it easy for me. There were times when I just wondered how I'd ever managed to live with him as long as I did."

Sami just sat back and gave an amused smirk, folding her arms in front of her as she listened to the two of them talk at cross purposes.

"I guess it must have been hard to cross that final line and just have that final bond with who you used to be removed," said Ben very seriously.

"In the end I was just so glad to have it all over and done with," said Nicole blithely, taking a sip of her drink, thinking he was talking about the bonds of marriage, "I was almost ready to gnaw that particular 'bond' off myself if it made the process any quicker."

Sami had to choke back a laugh at the vaguely horrified look on Ben's face as he imagined a far more graphic image than Nicole had intended to provoke.

"So how about some more drinks?" asked Guy, seeing Ben floundering to compose himself, "Ladies?"

"You're a man after my own heart honey," said Nicole, smiling up at him, "Same again, just make it a double this time."

"I'll be right back," Guy told Sami, "You haven't told me nearly enough about yourself yet and I want to hear everything about you."

"I'll be here," sighed Sami, "No where else to be right now."

The two men excused themselves and went to get more drinks for the table.

"Well," said Nicole with a self satisfied look on her face as she watched them go, "Ben seems quite intrigued by me."

She made a little preening motion with her hand and smiled.

"Say what you like about me Sami," said Nicole confidently, "But I've still got it."

"Actually I think he's more intrigued by what he thinks you don't got anymore," smirked Sami and then chortled loudly away to herself.

"What does that mean?" scowled Nicole, suddenly suspicious of the other woman's obvious amusement.

**oooOOOOooo**

Chelsea walked into The Nightingale and looked around. She was meeting with Daniel here and then planning on going out to dinner. No one she knew usually frequented this bar so she thought it would be a safe, discrete place to meet. Unfortunately for her, as soon as she walked in who did she see but her cousin Sami. What were the odds?! And who was that with her… what the hell… Nicole Kiriarkis?!!

_What, had the apocalypse happened and no one bothered to tell her???_

Last time she'd checked these two were mortal enemies and now they were hunkered down and drinking like there was no tomorrow if all those shot glasses on the table were anything to go by. Chelsea walked up to their booth and gave them a confused look.

"Hey you two," she said a little uncertainly.

"Chelsea!" exclaimed Sami excitedly, clearly three sheets to the wind, "My little cousin - how are you?"

"I'm good," said Chelsea warily, "And how are you Sami?"

"I was sad," Sami confessed to her but then gave a happy smile, her words definitely starting to slur now, "But now I'm feeling so much better!"

"And why is that?" asked Chelsea uncertainly.

"Alcohol!" proclaimed Sami happily.

"Actually I was asking about why you were sad," Chelsea corrected her wryly.

"Who knows?" shrugged Sami and then brightly, "Alcohol!"

"Is EJ here?" asked Chelsea, looking around.

"She doesn't need the big old Brit boy when she's got little old me," said Nicole, putting an arm drunkenly around Sami's shoulder.

"I'm not sure that's an even swap," noted Chelsea wryly.

"Join us!" said Sami, patting the seat beside her.

"Um… I'm meeting someone," she hedged.

"Anyone we know?" asked Sami with interest and Chelsea had the feeling that if she actually told her that her cousin wouldn't remember it in the morning and it was tempting - to be able to say the words out loud but thought better of it.

"No," she smiled, "Just someone I met the other day."

"Oh," sighed Sami, "You should bring him over and introduce him to us."

"Maybe some other time," said Chelsea with a little grimace, "Well I'd better get going."

"Bye bye," said Sami, giving her a little wave.

Chelsea smiled and backed away from the two of them and headed over to the bar to wait for Daniel. Chelsea looked back over her shoulder in concern, now seeing that two men had suddenly appeared from no where and were cozing up to the women. The man sitting next to Sami had seen particularly attentive and her cousin didn't seem to be in any state to do anything about it. She pulled out her cell phone and found a quieter area of the bar and made a phone call.

**oooOOOOooo**

"Yes thank you Chelsea," said EJ, "I appreciate the heads up. I'll come directly to fetch them."

"I'd say break a few road rules to get here," suggested Chelsea, "It's not pretty."

"Quite," grimaced EJ and after thanking her again he hung up.

"Wifey running amok?" asked John, seeing the expression on EJ's face and having heard his side of the phone call.

"I'm sure there is a perfectly logical explanation for why Samantha is in a bar with Nicole," said EJ, trying to sound convincing.

"We're still talking about the hell cat right?" asked John sceptically, "Perfectly logical and her don't tend to go in the same sentence that often."

"Hm," said EJ distractedly, trying to imagine the two women in a bar together.

Lives had nearly been lost at restaurants and golf courses; it didn't bear thinking about what might happen in a bar.

"We should go," said EJ abruptly, not really fancying another trip to the police station particularly, he somehow just knew his favourite desk sergeant would be on if he did.

"You know what this means don't you?" asked John thoughtfully.

"What?" frowned EJ as he went to retrieve his car keys.

"You've done something, or haven't done something to those two and they're now ganging up against you," said John with a knowing nod.

"Don't be ridiculous Uncle," scowled EJ, "I have neither _done_ nor _not done_ anything to Samantha and Nicole. This is probably because I've asked Samantha to try and be nicer to Nicole."

"Well that just makes you ten flavours of stupid now doesn't it?" John pointed out, "No one in their right mind would want those two to get along."

"I disagree," said EJ in annoyance, "I think that Samantha and Nicole actually have a lot in common if they would just take the time to get past all the bad blood between them."

"My point exactly," said John in mild exasperation at EJ's continuing determination to not think this thing thoroughly, "They are both stubborn, impulsive, irrational, wilful, crazy women who would do anything to get what they want and you've just pushed them into each other's orbit. You do realise that the chances of Salem will still be standing in another month is pretty slim thanks to that little unholy alliance you just helped to forge."

"Oh god," said EJ weakly, realising his uncle was right.

"You've doomed us all," said John straight faced and then gave him a double thumbs up sign, "Good job nephew!"

"You're being overly dramatic," EJ dismissed his dire warnings with a shake of his head, determinedly trying to hold onto his reason – not always an easy thing to do around John.

"Of course I am," said John ironically, "That's why _Chelsea_ of all people panicked and called you to come and get them… because _I'm_ being overly dramatic."

"Look I'm sure this is just Samantha and Nicole getting to know one another and there is nothing to worry about," said EJ, trying to remain calm, "Now I'll admit my first few attempts at getting them to play nicely together did not go particularly well but it's not like we're having to go and collect them from a police station or even a hospital now is it? It seems that they are at last putting aside their differences and getting along better. It's like that old saying…"

"Abandon hope all ye who enter here?" supplied John blithely.

"No," grimaced EJ and then sounded determinedly upbeat, "I was thinking more of the one that goes - 'If at first you don't succeed…'"

"Then sky diving isn't for you," finished John knowingly.

"No," said EJ in exasperation at being continually interrupted, "It's 'try, try again'."

"I think it's more important you don't try extreme sports," mused John, "I think that's the take home lesson in that saying."

"Get in the car Uncle," said EJ flatly.

**oooOOOOooo**

John and EJ walked into The Nightingale Bar and looked around. It was a trendy place full of young people and loud music but it wasn't hard to spot two good looking blondes in amongst the other patrons.

"There," said John, pointing out Sami and Nicole in a booth together.

EJ looked over to where he was pointing and shook his head. The two women were huddled together, laughing away happily. It was quite surreal and EJ wondered idly if somewhere hell was freezing over.

"Hm," said John expressionlessly, taking in the bizarre scene as well, "I saw a movie like this the other night."

"What - 'Thelma and Louise'?" asked EJ ironically, noting how these previously mortal enemies seem to have buried the hatchet all of a sudden and were bonding like crazy now.

"Who?" asked John with a frown, "Is Louise the woman who works at the service station?"

"No it's a movie title Uncle John," said EJ in exasperation, "You said this reminds you of a movie."

"Yeah," he said flatly, "I was thinking more along the lines of 'Godzilla and Mothu' though."

EJ turned and looked at him then.

"You know, two monsters that get together and level a city before the Japanese scientists work out how to stop them both," John supplied calmly.

"Uncle, are you comparing my wife to a rampaging monster?" asked EJ in vague horror.

Just then a raucous laugh broke out from across the room and they both turned to see Sami and Nicole laughing hysterically at something… well hysterical obviously.

"If the bellowing roar fits," said John expressionlessly.

"Come on," said EJ with a roll of his eyes, "Let's get this over with. Now just follow my lead Uncle John – the last thing I want to make is a scene. Let's keep this as low key and civilised as we can eh?"

John gave him a rather sceptical look over that last request but dutifully fell in step beside him as they crossed the bar to get to the two women. They stood in front of the booth Sami and Nicole were in and they both looked at them, the women taking a moment to realise that they were there.

"Konnichiwa," said John ironically to the two women which earned him a frown from EJ.

Sami blinked up at them blearily.

"John," she said, sounding surprised in a drunken kind of way and then, "EJ!"

"Nicole," he nodded at her first and then looked at Sami, "Samantha sweetheart, having fun?"

"We were!" scowled Sami, his sudden appearance reminding why she was getting drunk in the first place, "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to retrieve my wife," he said calmly and then looked over at Nicole, "And offer her accomplice a ride home while I'm at it."

"Oh right!" scoffed Sami, her words slurring a little, "_Now_ I'm your wife! How convenient for you!"

"Told you you'd done something," said John smugly, which earned him another frown from his nephew.

"Come on Samantha," he told her evenly, "We're going home."

"No I'm not!" she said with a dramatic wave of her hand, "I'm moving out!"

"No, no, no!" said Nicole with an exaggerated shake of her head, "_You_ should go home and _he_ moves out - never give up real estate Sami!"

"Ohhh!" said Sami seeming to find that a brilliant idea for some reason, "Even better! You stay and I go… no wait, I go and you stay… no you go and I stay…"

Sami thought about that for a minute, frowning hard, making sure she'd gotten that right.

"Yes!" she triumphantly, finally working it out, "The last thing… do the last thing!"

"You go for it sister!" said Nicole, patting her arm encouragingly and bobbing her head up and down and presenting EJ with a unified front.

"Tell you what," said EJ patiently, "Why don't we all go home and from there we'll decide who goes and who stays - how about that eh?"

"You suck!" exclaimed Sami and tried to glare at him but was finding it increasingly hard to focus all of a sudden.

"I'll read between the lines with that last statement and take that as a yes shall I sweetheart?" said EJ ironically, "You two just sit here for a minute longer and John and I will pay your bar tab. Don't move."

To which Sami defiantly jumped up and down in her seat just to spite him. She regretted it immediately though as the whole room suddenly began to spin wildly.

"Excellent," said EJ with a roll of his eyes.

He and John walked over to the bar and pointed out the girl's table, asking for the tab. EJ's eyes widened when he saw the amount.

"My god!" he exclaimed as he pulled out the cash from his wallet and handed it to the bar tender, "How can two women drink that much alcohol in just over two hours? I don't even know how Samantha is upright anymore – even if Nicole probably did have two thirds of this."

"It doesn't seem to be a problem as that guy over there seems happy enough to prop her up," commented John idly.

EJ frowned and turned around, his eyes narrowing and his face darkening in a violent anger.

**oooOOOOooo**

"We're back," smiled Guy, "Did you miss us?"

He and Ben put the new drinks down on the table in front of the women.

"Absolutely," said Nicole and now she was starting to slur a little.

"I think we have to go," pouted Sami unhappily, thinking about EJ and how much she wished she could hate him.

"No don't!" said Guy quickly, coming to sit down beside her and putting his hand on her leg, "The party's just started – we were just starting to get to know each other better."

"That's right," Ben added his dissent as well, finding himself strangely attracted to the shemale sitting beside him and wanting to investigate that a little further – he'd always considered himself to be a pretty open minded kind of a guy.

"No," sighed Sami tiredly, "I have to go, have to face the mu… mu… music."

It took her a bit to get the relatively simple word out of her mouth but she finally managed it.

"I have to open a can of whoop tushy on someone," she informed Guy in a conspiratorial fashion, "And it's not gonna be pretty!"

"Well stay here then," he tried to cajole her.

"Can't," said Sami with a drunken shake of her head, "Have to go!"

"Then how about a goodbye kiss then?" said Guy with a smile and leant in towards her confidently.

"What?" asked Sami, having about a five second delay between hearing people talk and working out what they meant at the moment.

It was just long enough for Guy to seize his opportunity and press his lips up against hers. Sami froze, trying to work out what the hell was happening. But before she could the man in her face was suddenly gone and she blinked blearily, wondering what had just happened. Guy was having a similar experience. One moment he was kissing a beautiful blonde woman and the next he was being dragged out of the booth and had some man in his face that looked like he was going to kill him with his bare hands.

"Wha…" was all Guy managed before the tall man viciously head butted him and set him reeling to the ground.

"Hey!"

Ben had jumped up then to defend his friend and EJ was more than happy to give him some of the same, throwing a hard punch at the man's face. Ben crumpled to the ground groaning but it had been enough time for Guy to regain some of his senses and run at EJ, tackling him around the waist and throwing him backwards onto a table with people sitting at it. Glasses scattered and broke all over the place. A woman screamed as she was covered in alcohol, ruining her dress and her male companion took umbrage to that and grabbed Guy, shoving him off EJ and into another man. Well the other man didn't take too kindly to this and threw a punch at the first man and from there things deteriorated rather quickly. John looked around himself as the place quickly erupted into violence and gave a happy smirk.

"Alright," he said to himself, "_Now_ it's a party!"

He picked up a handful of drink coasters and joined the fray. EJ meanwhile only wanted to get his hands on the man he'd seen kissing Samantha and fought his way determinedly towards where he could see him underneath a large red headed man. EJ pulled the red headed man off him and Guy's grateful look froze on his face when he saw who his rescuer was and EJ just gave him a cold smile and grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and dragged him to his feet just so he could punch him off them a couple more times. Sami and Nicole meanwhile were looking at the goings on rather bemusedly, their reactions greatly dulled by alcohol by now.

"Oh my god!" said Nicole in horror suddenly.

"What?" asked Sami, grabbing her arm with the exaggerated motion that drunken people have, "Did you get hit by something?"

"No," she said in real horror, "I nearly spilt my drink!"

Sami looked at the drink in Nicole's hand and then back at Nicole and found this hysterically funny for some reason and erupted into laughter which the other woman joined in on. They sat there, laughing uncontrollably as all hell broke loose around them. EJ suddenly reappeared at the table, his face having some blood on it now and his clothes looking a bit worse for wear.

"What happened to you?" asked Sami in all seriousness, her eyes wide.

"I'll tell you on the way home," said EJ ironically, taking her arm, "We're leaving."

"But I haven't finished my drink!" protested Nicole as she too slid out of the booth and stood a little unsteadily beside EJ and Sami.

Just then someone bumped her from behind and the drink she was still holding onto was knocked so that all the remaining liquid ended up on the floor. Sami burst into laughter again at seeing that.

"My drink," mourned Nicole, "I have to get another."

She turned around, fully intending to walk through the maze of people throwing punches and furniture all over the place but EJ grabbed her.

"You've had enough Nicole!" said EJ firmly.

"Party poo… pooper!" she said unhappily but John was suddenly there as well and grabbed her arm.

"How about we go somewhere else for that drink?" suggested John straight faced.

EJ looked at his uncle. The last time he'd seen him he been wading into fight two guys armed with pool sticks and all he had in his hand was a placemat. It seemed to have done the trick though because there wasn't a mark on him. EJ didn't know whether to be impressed or frightened really.

"Time to go," said EJ grimly, seeing some police officers starting to appear in the crowd.

The two men held on tightly to Nicole and Sami and managed to weave in and out of the chaos so that they were finally out of harms way and out on the street. EJ's hopes of making a clean getaway were foiled though when he saw two uniformed officers walking towards them. They obviously were late comers to the party and were in no rush to join their fellow officers in the bar, walking right up to the four of them determinedly.

"Don't tell them your name," EJ instructed John under his breath as the two police officers approached them and then more loudly, "Officers, good evening."

"Sir," nodded the shorter one, eyeing the less than sober state of the two women and the somewhat rumpled appearance of the two men.

"I suppose you'll be wanting to get in there and sort things out," said EJ with a bright smile, "Don't let us hold you up - we'll just be on our way."

"Hold on sir," said the first officer, "Do you know how it started?"

"Well my friends and I were quietly drinking together and then we saw a blonde man wearing a white shirt and a rather garish green tie just hit some other poor innocent man and from there it kind of deteriorated into a free for all."

"And how did you get those?" asked the cop a little suspiciously, indicating the blood on EJ's lip and nose.

"Oh I caught an elbow in the face as I was helping the ladies to get out of there safely," EJ lied easily, "I tend to stay out clear of these kinds of things – I'm more of a lover than a fighter really."

EJ smiled charmingly, inviting them to join in on his little joke but the both declined. The second officer who hadn't spoken yet turned and looked at John.

"What about you?" he asked John.

"Oh I'm more of a fighter than a lover," admitted John straight faced, "But I'm hoping my luck is going to change in that department real soon – I've been reading books."

EJ groaned silently to himself and tried to gloss over his uncle's brutal honesty.

"My friend is just teasing you," said EJ quickly, "As you can see there isn't a mark on him."

"So what's your name then?" asked the second officer, not completely convinced.

"EJ DiMera," John offered up happily.

"Son of a _bitch_," muttered EJ under his breath and tried to maintain an outward look of calm.

Just then the sound of a window breaking came from the bar and they all turned as one to see some poor man rolling around on the ground after having just been tossed through the large plate of glass.

"We'd better get in there and help Ted," said the first officer grimly, "Looks like its getting ugly."

The two officers took off towards the entrance of The Nightingale, intent on helping their fellow officers while EJ just stared at his uncle.

"What?" asked John when he saw the way he was looking at him.

"Why did you do that?" asked EJ in annoyance, still holding onto Sami as he felt her begin to sway in the breeze somewhat.

"You told him not to give him my name," said John in confusion, "So I didn't."

"But you gave him _my_ name!" said EJ in exasperation.

"Well you didn't say that I couldn't do that," pointed out John calmly, "You should be more precise when you give instructions if you're going to get this upset about it."

"Get in the car Uncle John!" said EJ frustrated and then realised something, "Wait – Nicole has her car here – can you drive it back to her house and catch a cab home? I'll take Samantha home directly; she's looking a little worse for wear."

"Bite me," slurred Sami and glowered up at him.

"I can drive," said Nicole blithely, fishing around in her purse for her keys, "Here, I'll show you."

She attempted to open the door of the car they were all standing beside and was having great difficulty so she put her face right down level with it and tried again.

"Nicole," EJ sighed, "That's not your car."

"How do you know?" she pouted up at him, "You don't even know what I drive!"

"True," admitted EJ, "But seeing as that's a police car you're currently attempting to break into, I'm pretty confident in saying that you don't drive one of those."

Nicole straightened up and squinted at the lights on top of the car and grimaced.

"I wondered what they were," she admitted bemusedly and then drew herself up and tried to look confident but the way she was swaying about kind of ruined it, "But I'm still fine to drive."

"No!"

Both John and EJ answered in unison to that one.

"Well I'm not going to tell you which car is mine," she said childishly, folding her arms in front of her chest defiantly, "So what are you going to do about that Mr Smarty Pants?"

John simply reached over and took the car keys from her hand and pressed the unlock button. On the other side of the street, about five cars down the lights of Nicole's car flashed as it unlocked itself. Sami found this to be hysterically funny for some reason and dissolved into laughter while Nicole just pouted unhappily.

"I'll see you at home," EJ said to John, "And thanks for this… all of this really."

"Hey," said John with one of his characteristic smiles that belied the sarcasm in his eyes, "I'm just glad that we didn't have to make a scene and everything was kept so civilised."

EJ grimaced, knowing he had to take that one on the chin, all things considered.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ opened the front door of the DiMera mansion; Sami slung over one shoulder, mumbling drunkenly away to herself. Marlena met them at the door and gave a gasp.

"Sami!" she said in shock, "EJ what happened? Is she alright? What happened to your face? Where's John?"

"Small altercation at the bar, Samantha's drunk but fine, took a couple of hits but gave better than I got and dropping Nicole off… in that order," he supplied calmly.

He turned round to close the door and Sami lifted her head to see Marlena standing there.

"Mommy!" she exclaimed happily, holding her arms out to her and grabbing her in a weird upside down hug, "It's my Mommy!"

"Oh dear," said Marlena with a sigh, patting the back of Sami's head as she clung to her.

"Let go of your mother Samantha," EJ instructed her when he found he couldn't move because Sami was hanging on so tightly to Marlena, "We need to get you upstairs."

"You're not the boss of me!" she raged at him but then let Marlena go anyway so it was a bit of pointless protest.

"So John took Nicole home?" asked Marlena, "Was she in the same state?"

"No," said EJ, "She could walk, at least she could the last time I saw her."

"Oh right," said Marlena, looking a little put out.

"Is there a problem Marlena?" asked EJ, taking in her unhappy look.

"Of course not," said Marlena brightly, "Why would there be?"

"Well I'd better take this one upstairs then," said EJ.

"Who are you taking upstairs now?" Sami demanded to know, her voice coming from behind EJ seeing as she was still over his shoulder.

"You sweetheart," he told her and rolled his eyes at Marlena.

EJ carried her up the stairs and into their bedroom, depositing her carefully on the floor and catching her quickly as she tilted backwards kind of wildly.

"Whoa!" he said, holding the tops of her arms and steading her, "Easy does it!"

"Stop telling me what to do!" she said unhappily, swatting his hands away, "Don't touch me!"

Sami drew herself up to her full, less than impressive height and glared up at him, launching her tirade on him.

"You think you're… you're so smart don't you?" she asked him bitterly, swaying a bit as she jabbed at his chest drunkenly, "You think I don't know but I know… oh I know!"

"Sweetheart," said EJ calmly, "I'm really not sure what all this is abo…"

"Don't you stand there all… all… handsome and… and…tall and pretend you don't know precissly what this is all about!" she interrupted him, her face pink with anger now, "I don't need to be a genius to fig… figure out wh… what's going on…well no more… that's it! I'm done! From now on I'm go… going to be a la…le…"

"Lorry driver?" suggest EJ helpfully, trying not to laugh because it hurt his ribs.

"No!" she snapped, waving an angry hand at him and tried again, still swaying about pretty badly, "A la…leb…"

"Labrador?" offered EJ up again and was rewarded with a slap on his chest which actually made him wince a little around his amusement.

"Lesbian!" she said triumphantly, finally managing to get the word out.

"_You're_ going to be a lesbian?" asked EJ with a sceptical arch of his eyebrow, "You mean you're only going to sleep with women from now on?"

"Well… no," frowned Sami a little confusedly, "I wouldn't be that… that kind of leb… lebian… lesbian."

"So you'd be the kind of lesbian that slept with men then?" asked EJ straight faced.

"Yes!" she said defiantly.

"I think there's a name for those kinds of lesbians," mused EJ thoughtfully, scratching his chin, "They're called heterosexuals."

"Don't… you… la… laugh at me EJ Di… DiMera!" she warned him, poking his chest between each word to get her point across, "I should… should have known tha… that this was coming but you… you set a peacock on fire and I tho… thought that meant you loved me… And you want to know something? I'll tell you who's nuts they were - they were yours!"

"Well," said EJ ironically, a bemused look on his face at her incoherent and disjointed ramblings, "Bit of a mixed bag there sweetheart but I'm going to take a guess that I've done something to upset you."

"Oh you're so innocent aren't you?" she sneered up at him, ready to give it to him with both barrels but then something not entirely unexpected happened to her, "You… yo…"

Sami trailed off then and seemed lost for words.

"Samantha?" asked EJ, seeing her go suddenly pale, "Are you alright?"

"I'm going to be sick," she mumbled faintly.

EJ reacted quickly, picking her up and rushing her to the bathroom just in time for her to empty the contents of her stomach noisily into the toilet. He winched to hear the violence of her vomiting which didn't seem to be going to stopping any time soon so EJ just held her hair back from her face and rubbed her back until she was finally done. Sami rolled limply to one side and would have just lain down on the bathroom tiles if EJ hadn't held onto her and kept her in his arms. Sami looked up at him, her blue eyes full of self pity and unhappiness.

"I'm sad," she whispered up to him, pouting as a giant tear rolled down her face.

"Not as sad as you're going to be tomorrow morning I fear my darling," said EJ kindly, pushing back a sweaty piece of hair from her forehead, "Come on, let's get you out of those clothes and into bed."

"You're always trying to get me naked," she complained half heartedly, her eyes closed now as she suddenly felt exhausted.

"Yes I am," EJ laughed quietly, picking her up in his arms.

He stripped her off and put her in the shower briefly knowing it would make her feel better in the morning even though she protested a little now. After a bit of a struggle he managed to get her into her pyjamas and into bed where she promptly fell asleep. EJ quickly got ready for bed himself and got in beside her.

He leant over her, brushing some of her pale blonde hair away from her face as she slept the sleep of the incredibly inebriated. His fingers trailed down one flushed cheek and traced the line of her lips a sudden image of them being kissed by that stranger coming to him. EJ felt his body tense as a possessive rage filled him. It had taken every ounce of strength in him not to simply snap the interlopers neck but that would have meant prison and he wasn't Lucas - he wanted Samantha more than he wanted revenge. EJ lay back on his side of the bed and sighed heavily.

Well tonight's romantic evening he'd planned for the two of them hadn't gone exactly to plan that was for sure.

**oooOOOOooo**

Marlena sat up in the living room, pretending to read the book she had in her hands but she'd been on the same page now for thirty minutes and she really wasn't that slow of a reader. The sound of the front door being opened finally ended her self imposed vigil and she jumped up, hurrying to the foyer. John looked at her standing there and arched an eyebrow at her.

"Blondie," he said with a nod, taking his coat off.

"You're back," said Marlena a little unnecessarily.

"So it would seem," agreed John and then he cocked his head at her enquiringly, "Were you waiting up for me?"

"Of course not!" Marlena protested quickly, "Why would I be?"

"Don't know," he shrugged, "Maybe you didn't like the fact I was out having fun without you."

"EJ said you were just taking Nicole home," frowned Marlena.

"And it was fun," nodded John, "We talked, she took me up to her bedroom… took all her clothes off."

"You're kidding me!" exclaimed Marlena looking very unhappy now.

"Yeah," nodded John and Marlena blew out a sigh of relief, "… we didn't talk."

He just kept on walking then and headed up the stairs leaving a flabbergasted Marlena in his wake. John got to the second floor and let the self satisfied smile that had been bubbling up inside of him ever since he'd been met at the door by a clearly jealous Marlena.

_Oh yeah… he was in with a chance there alright._


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter SIXTEEN**

The next morning Sami slowly woke up and then attempted to open her eyes and that was her first mistake. She made a little whimpering sound as she tried, the inside of her eye lids feeling like they were suddenly carpeted and she could have sworn she heard a rasping sound as she finally managed to get them to open. The morning light which was still quite low blinded her and she made a fully fledged groaning sound as she realised her eyes were in no way ready for such things.

EJ was doing up his tie in front of the mirror and heard his wife make a guttural kind of sound and assumed correctly that she must be waking up at last. Despite being a bit sore himself this morning EJ didn't envy how badly Sami was going to be feeling in a minute when she was fully conscious. He turned round and looked at her stretched out on the bed in the exact same position he'd placed her on it the night before. She hadn't moved so much as a muscle all night. Sami's face was twisted in pain as she attempted to try and open her eyes again.

EJ went and sat beside her on the bed, placing one hand by her shoulder and leaning over her. Sami blinked blearily and then suddenly EJ's face filled her entire vision. He had a little amused look on his face and she couldn't quite understand why. In fact she couldn't understand much of anything at the moment.

Why did she feel this bad?

How come she didn't remember going to bed last night?

Was there a small dead animal in her mouth?

"And how's my beautiful girl this morning?" he asked her affectionately.

Sami looked up at him and mustered every last bit of strength she had and managed to raise a hand and grab his tie, dragging his face down so that it was a scant inch from hers.

"Kill… me," she rasped in a voice that in no way sounded like her own – possibly Barry White's but not her own.

"Sorry darling," said EJ, an amused grin spreading across his face, "No can do."

"I'm dying," she moaned.

"Don't think anyone has ever died of a hang over," EJ informed her, trying to get her to loosen her grip on his tie.

"Hang over?" she grunted, looking confused.

"You don't remember last night at all?" he asked her.

Sami frowned and then instantly regretted it as using all those muscles at once proved too painful.

"You and Nicole in the bar?" prompted EJ.

Sami just looked at him blankly and EJ grimaced, not entirely upset that she didn't remember anything about last night because that meant she didn't remember the man who kissed her. Of course it was etched on his brain for all of eternity and it made him want to hit something just thinking about it but at least Samantha was clueless so he could learn to live with it he supposed.

"I hate Nicole," said Sami in confusion, her words slow and painfully eked out.

"Apparently not so much anymore," said EJ ruefully.

"Was I in jail again?" she asked him worriedly, finding all this talking to be totally draining.

"Unbelievably we all managed to avoid that particular detour last night," said EJ and then made an unhappy face, "Although I possibly might have some minor fallout after Uncle John being a bit too forthcoming at one point."

"John?" queried Sami with difficulty, "Oh no, John saw me like this?"

"It's fine sweetheart," said EJ calmly, "And before you say we have to move you didn't do anything embarrassing."

"Do you mean embarrassing for me or just for a regular person?" she asked morosely.

"Both," he smiled.

"The twins!" she said suddenly, her eyes widening in horror as she realised that she had no idea where they were.

She vaguely remembered asking John to look after them but it got kind of hazy after that.

"They're still at Caroline's," he told her evenly, "Don't worry they're fine."

"Why are they at Grandma's?" she asked in confusion.

"I'll explain later," EJ said with a little quirk of his lips, "But I'm going to ring her and ask if she wouldn't mind looking after them for a little bit longer. I've got a business meeting I must go to this morning but after that I'll swing by and pick them up. I don't think you're quite up to dealing with them with the state you're in."

"I can look after my own children!" exclaimed Sami hotly and then had to pay for that outburst when the sound of her own voice reverberated painfully around her head.

She struggled to sit up; managing to get her head off the pillow in a pitiful display of defiance but that was it. Sami finally gave up, her head flopping back down on the bed as she gave a pained groan.

"Shall I make the call?" asked EJ sympathetically having witnessed her feeble attempts at becoming upright.

"Yes," she hissed, closing her eyes and praying for death.

"I'll be home in a couple of hours or so," he told her, pressing an affectionate kiss to her forehead, "Stay in bed and I'll get Rolf to bring you up something for the headache okay?"

"Ow," she said flatly at the soft caress which made him smile.

With her eyes still closed Sami tried to nod her head to say yes to the headache thing but it was too painful so she mumbled an 'okay' instead. EJ stroked her cheek very lightly with a knuckle and thought it amazing that even this hung over she managed to look beautiful. He knew they'd have to talk about what precipitated last night's little blow out but Sami was in no fit state for that right now so it would have to wait. EJ had an inkling about what it might be but was unsure how it could be that. Leaving Sami to her regrets he walked down the stairs to find John reading the morning newspaper.

"So how's Godzilla this morning?" asked John straight faced.

"A little the worse for wear actually Uncle," said EJ with a little grimace, "Not that it wasn't entirely unexpected of course."

"So did she tell you what you did to her and Nicole yet?" John asked curiously.

"Again Uncle," said EJ in vague frustration, "I haven't _done_ anything."

"She thinks you have so it's the same thing – so whatever the reality is it doesn't change anything," said John calmly.

"Quite," sighed EJ and then shook his head, "I have to go out for a little while but I'll be back in a couple of hours. Do you mind keeping an eye on Samantha for me please Uncle John? Just until I get back and we can sort this all out."

"You know what I'd do if I were you?" he asked, "I'd forbid her from ever seeing Nicole again."

"I'm not some Neanderthal intent on controlling her every move Uncle John," said EJ in exasperation, "I can't forbid Samantha to do anything. She's my wife, not my slave!"

"That's possibly the attitude that ended up with your wife with some other man's tongue down her throat," said John, going back to his paper, "You might want to re-evaluate giving my step-daughter so much free reign."

"Well thanks so much for that graphic reminder about something that was so painful for me to see Uncle John," said EJ flatly, "You certainly have a way with words."

"I like to think so," said John, missing EJ's irony.

"So you'll just keep an eye on Samantha for me?" asked EJ in frustration.

"Sure," shrugged John, "As apparently I am running some kind of day care centre after all."

"Thank you," said EJ in exasperation but not commenting on John's last statement and picked up his car keys.

"So what will I do if Nicole knocks on the door and wants to play some more with your wife?" John called out idly just as EJ was about to walk out of the room, "Invite her in and point her towards the direction of your wife seeing as your so _comfortable_ with the two of them being friends?"

"I said I couldn't forbid Samantha from seeing Nicole," said EJ unhappily, "That doesn't mean I should make it easy for them to have a repeat of last night."

"So if she comes a knockin'?" asked John calmly, "What's the game plan?"

"Set the peacocks on her," said EJ grimly, not entirely joking.

A couple of hours with that woman and Samantha was off kissing some other man. He might not directly be able to stop them seeing one another but he was going to have to come up with a way of nipping this friendship in the bud. John was right – he'd been ten flavours of stupid encouraging that relationship! John smirked to himself as he heard EJ leave at last. And they thought he was crazy to get all those peacocks.

Who's the crazy one now?!

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami made her way gingerly down the stairs, each step a jarring reminder of last night's error in judgement. After EJ had left she'd lain there for about half an hour or so before crawling, literally on her hands and knees, to the bathroom to have a shower. She'd hoped it would make her feel better and bring back some of the events of last night and she was half right. Standing there in the shower and letting the hot jets of water hit her body she did start to remember fragments of yesterday but unfortunately it didn't make her feel any better.

Quite the opposite in fact.

Sami remembered overhearing EJ's phone call, she remembered storming the castle at Nicole's only to find her in bed with a man but not her man. She also recalled very clearly the embarrassing scene with Jean Luc the concierge and that from there they'd ended up at some bar. After that it all got pretty blurry again but whatever had happened it wasn't good. And the worst part of it was that she was no closer to working out what EJ was doing in that hotel and with whom.

She was finally at the bottom of the stairs and she could have cried with the relief of not having her head bounced around with every downward step. She shuffled to the living room, channelling the body of a ninety year old woman and saw John reading his usual morning paper. It all seemed so normal and it made the fact that her world was crumbling around her seem worse some how. She tottered over to the sofa and sank down on it gratefully and then lay down, pulling her feet up in a puddle of self pity. John looked her up and down and shook his head at her.

"EJ said you looked bad," he said.

"EJ lied John," confessed Sami despondently, ignoring his comment.

"Check the mirror," he said straight faced, "I actually think he was being kind."

"He's cheating on me!" she wailed and grimaced as the sound of her own high pitched voice made her head throb worse.

"You are a full time job," commented John stoically, "And then some. I don't know where he'd find the time or the strength to cheat on you."

"But he is," said Sami sadly, looking ever so down cast and sorry for herself, curled up on the couch.

"He keeps telling me he has business meetings but when I ring the office Marcie doesn't know anything about it," she said dejectedly, "And then Nicole and I followed him to a hotel and he was with someone I just know it but we couldn't find him so we left."

"Couldn't it be something perfectly innocent?" reasoned John.

"No!" said Sami emphatically, sitting up and then she had to wait for a minute to make sure she wasn't going to throw up before continuing, "I met this woman in ja… gym… gym class… aerobics."

Sami floundered a bit to save herself with that one - no reason to let on that she'd had a recent stint in jail - she had a life time of things to live down already and John only really remembered the last six months! She told John the story of Crystal and her cheating husband and how she hadn't suspected a thing and then suddenly he was dumping her for a much younger woman. John listened patiently, even nodding a couple of times.

"Hm," mused John when she'd finished talking, "With a name like Crystal Ball you'd think she would have seen it coming really."

"John!" scowled Sami, "This is no laughing matter!"

"So you say," said John stoically, "Let's recap shall we? So you think EJ's cheating on you because some woman you met at the gym was cheated on by her husband - is that right?"

"Well, yes," frowned Sami, feeling a little foolish when he put it like that, "But you had to be there, she was very convincing!"

"Evidently," he said expressionlessly.

"I mean, he told me he had a business meeting this morning but how do I know he's not with her right now?" bemoaned Sami, feeling very lost and unhappy.

"One way to find out," said John calmly and picked up his phone.

After a brief discussion with Marcie he hung up again.

"Well?" asked Sami hopefully.

"No meeting," John informed her stoically to which Sami gave a disheartened groan.

"I knew it!" she moaned, flopping dramatically back on her side on the sofa, "He's with _her_!"

She covered her face with her hands.

"He left his drunk of a wife in bed and went to see his bit on the side who's probably perfect!" she said brokenly.

Sami lay there thinking dark thoughts until she realised that John was just sitting there.

"Say something encouraging John," she growled at him, unhappy that he wasn't making any effort to comfort her in her time of need.

"That satay chicken thingy you made the other night didn't make me totally want to kill myself," said John evenly.

"About EJ and I," said Sami through gritted teeth, "Say something reassuring about EJ and I so I can stop worrying John!"

"So you want me to lie then," mused John, "Okay… my nephew probably finds inebriated women who vomit everywhere very sexy and…"

"Never mind!" snapped Sami, sitting up, "I'm going to go and see EJ and sort this out once and for all!"

"You know where he is?" asked John in surprise.

"I think so," said Sami with a little frown.

"Okay then," said John, "I'll get the car."

"I don't want you tagging along!" protested Sami, "He's my husband and I'm going to deal with it my way and by myself."

"You can't drive," said John flatly, "If I lit up one of my cigars now you'd go up like a bonfire."

"I… I…" she wanted to dispute that fact but suspected he was probably right.

"I'll need my coat," said John, taking her less than impressive argument as agreement, "Do you want me to give you a minute so you can get into the closet first?"

Sami just have him a very unimpressed look which didn't faze John at all.

So," said John straight faced, "That's a no then?"

**oooOOOOooo**

"This is the place huh?" said John, looking around at the beautiful hotel set amongst the sprawling gardens, 'Well my nephew's taste in hotels has improved, I'll give him that. I bet none of the beds in there smell of weasel… or even badger for that matter."

"What are you talking about?" asked Sami in annoyance and then held up a hand, "No wait, don't tell me, I'd rather not know."

"Your loss," said John with a little shrug.

"Unlikely," muttered Sami under her breath.

John started to walk towards the hotel entrance, heading for the foyer but Sami grabbed his arm.

"No wait!" she said sharply, worried she was going to run into Jean Luc the disapproving concierge and have him thwart her plans again.

"What?" asked John in confusion, going to move past her and into the foyer.

"No John!" Sami said quickly, "We can't go through the foyer!"

"Why?" asked John in confusion.

"I… I… I have a foyer phobia," she stammered, reaching for something other than the truth.

John arched a sceptical eyebrow at this.

"What?!" she said defiantly, hands on hips, "That's a thing!"

John just continued to regard her steadily.

"Oh what do you know?" she said defensively, "I caught you trying to eat a candle the other day!"

"It smelt like apples," said John with an unapologetic shrug, "If they don't want me to food something they shouldn't make it smell like you can eat it - it's that simple. It's the gasoline all over again."

"What?" asked Sami in confusion and then shook her head, "Never mind, we don't have time for this!"

"So if we can't go through the foyer what's the plan then?" asked John evenly.

"I don't exactly have one," confessed Sami.

"Well what room is EJ and this woman in?" asked John and Sami bit her lip.

"I don't know," said Sami and made sheepish face.

"So to summarise," said John stoically, "You _think_ Elvis is in this hotel, in a room you don't know the number of, with a woman you don't know - have I got that right?"

"Pretty much," grimaced Sami.

"Well tell you what Sami," said John with out missing a beat, "You release the wild goose and we'll just starting chasing it now shall we?"

"Alright!" she scowled, "I know, it's tricky! That was why Nicole and I were going to…"

She stopped then, realising she may have said too much.

"That's right, you and Nicole were here," said John thoughtfully and then looked over Sami's shoulder, "And the building is still standing. Guess you're losing your touch there wild cat."

"You're not helping John!" snapped Sami, "We need a plan."

"So what was yours and Nicole's plan?" asked John curiously.

"We were going to set off the fire alarm and hope that EJ would come out with the woman and we'd catch them out," admitted Sami.

"Fire," said John, shaking his head at her, "That's yours and Elvis' answer to everything isn't it?"

"Well do you have a better idea?" demanded Sami in frustration.

John pursed his lips, seeming to think about that for a long moment.

"What's your position on kidnapping and torture?" asked John straight faced.

"NO!" exclaimed Sami in horror.

"Then I've got nothing," said John stoically.

"Alright then," said Sami with a roll of her eyes, "So we'll go with my plan then okay?"

"Sure," said John calmly, "Why not?"

"We just can't go through the foyer," said Sami.

"Because of your phobia right?" asked John expressionlessly.

"Ah… yeah," said Sami nervously, "Sure. We can go through the gardens and there is a side entrance - I know there is one there."

"Right behind you," said John and Sami started to walk through the gardens, finding the entrance to the little corridor that she and Nicole had been unceremoniously removed from yesterday.

Today however they were entering from the garden end. She and John walked down the short corridor but then Sami realised it wasn't the same corridor. She must have gotten turned around somehow because now there were a couple of doors dotted along corridor and when she snuck a look into the first one she saw that it was a kind of laundry room. The sound of two men talking in the distance alerted them to the fact that any minute they were going to have company. Sami grabbed John's arm and dragged him into the laundry room, looking about and seeing that it was thankfully unoccupied.

"Well this looks as good as place as any," noted John calmly, as though he did this kind of thing every day.

Sami grimaced but started to look around to see if there was a fire alarm that she could break the glass of anywhere. After a minute of looking she made a frustrated sound.

"John," she said, slowly turning round and still scanning for the red box, "Did you find…"

Her next words froze on her lips.

"John!" she squeaked, "What are you doing?"

John looked over at her from where he was holding his lit lighter to one of the smoke detectors above his head.

"Don't do that!" she exclaimed and bolted over to him, pulling on his arm and grabbing at the lighter, "Are you crazy? You can't…. OOWWWW!"

Sami cried out as the very hot metal of the lighter began to burn her hand and she tossed it up in the air, desperate not to be touching it anymore. The thing somersaulted in the air a couple of times before rather unfortunately hitting a wall and bouncing down until it disappeared down one of the laundry chutes.

"My lighter!" lamented John, "Why did you do that?"

"Why were you trying to set something on fire?" she asked him in agitation, sucking on her tender fingers.

"To set off the fire alarm," John told her in exasperation, "What else?"

"You can just push a button to do that!" said Sami, shaking her hand now to try and stop the pain.

"This way is more authentic," protested John.

"I don't need for it to be authentic," scowled Sami, "I just need for the alarm to go off which I can't help but notice… they're not!"

"You know we should probably try and get that lighter back," mused John, peering down the dark laundry chute, "Just in case - we don't know what's down there… could be flammable stuff."

"It's a laundry John," Sami dismissed his concerns easily, "It's full of water! I'm not wasting time trying to retrieve your stupid lighter - I'll buy you a new one later."

"But…" John began to protest but the men's voices were back and they sounded like they were getting closer.

"We've got to go!" she said urgently and made a dash for the door and John shrugged and followed her at a more sedate pace.

The two men had disappeared into the door down from them but Sami didn't want to take any chances. She pushed open the door and ran back down the corridor so that she was standing out in the gardens again. John joined her half a minute later, deciding to take things at a more leisurely pace which she found annoying for some reason.

"So Plan A's a bust," said John happily, "What's Plan B?"

Sami groaned and turned around, looking out onto the gardens. They'd actually come around the back of the hotel to enter through the gardens and many of the rooms appeared to open out on to it. Each room seemed to have it's own little balcony, the ground floor balconies only a couple of feet off the ground rather than the second and third floor balconies which were more like twenty and forty feet respectively. Sami sighed a deep sigh of despair. There was no way that she was going to be able to find out which room EJ was in now. She turned back round to John and gave a hopeless shrug.

"It's pointless," she said despondently, "We'll never find him. It's like looking for a needle in a hayst…"

"There he is," John interrupted her and Sami whirled around to see John was absolutely right.

EJ was standing out on one of the ground floor balconies, looking out over the garden vista, his hands in his pockets. Sami grabbed John and dragged him behind some bushes so that EJ wouldn't see them. She pulled back some of the foliage and looked over to where he was standing. EJ surveyed his surroundings for a minute longer and then turned around and walked back into the room.

"Come on!" hissed Sami, making a dash towards the balcony that EJ had just been occupying.

John watched her race off and shook his head - this outing involved a lot more scurrying then he'd first envisage that was for sure. By the time he caught her up she was standing beside the balcony and jumping up and down on one spot. John arched an eyebrow at her curiously.

"What's with the kangaroo impersonation?" asked John calmly.

"Shush!" she said loudly to him and then whispered to him, "I'm trying to see in through the balcony doors."

John looked past her and through the balustrades of the balcony to where there were French doors that opened into the room. Sami was too short to see into the doors, hence the jumping.

"Can you see?" she asked him anxiously.

"Of course I can," said John in surprise, "I drove us here remember?"

"Can you see into the room?" bit out Sami, the way he could be so literal sometimes driving her crazy.

"You want me to peer into the room?" asked John evenly.

"Yes!" hissed Sami, "Peer, peer!"

"Okay," said John happily and went up on his toes and looked through the balustrade.

"Can you see them?" asked Sami worriedly.

"I can see Elvis," confirmed John.

"What's he doing?" asked Sami fretfully, her voice low so that the occupants of the room wouldn't be able to hear them.

"Scratching," John replied stoically.

"Scratching?" repeated Sami in confusion.

"Scratching," confirmed John calmly, "And maybe some itching."

"Can you see her?" asked Sami unimpressed with John's attention to detail.

John looked back and Sami waited impatiently for him to relay what he was seeing.

"Well?" she pushed him, "Do you see her?"

"Yup," he said expressionlessly.

Sami's heart dropped and her stomach tightened painfully.

"What does she look like?" asked Sami achingly.

"A guy," John informed her.

"What?" asked Sami in bewilderment.

"It's a guy," said John flatly.

"Are you sure?" asked Sami in confusion.

"He doesn't have any breasts… so yeah, I'm sure," commented John stoically.

"Well who is it?" asked Sami, totally bewildered now - she'd been so sure it was going to be some hoochy mama or even worse, some classy gorgeous woman that she couldn't hope to compete with.

"I don't know," said John, "He's not wearing a name badge or anything."

"EJ must have been telling the truth," said Sami dazedly, "This _is_ a business meeting."

"Remind me," said John evenly, looking over the balustrade again, "Do you normally wear pants to a business meeting?"

"Of course," said Sami with a frown.

"Then this isn't what this is," said John definitely.

"What do you mean?" asked Sami in growing worry.

"The guy isn't wearing any," said John.

"What?" said Sami looking a bit taken aback.

"Pants, not wearing any," filled in John happily, "Just a towel."

"No he's not!" exclaimed Sami.

"Hey!" said John looking a little put out, "Who's doing the peering here - you or me? I'm telling you, the guy's just wearing a towel."

"What's EJ doing?" asked Sami worriedly.

"Leaning on the kitchen counter talking to him," replied John.

"But he's fully clothed right?" asked Sami anxiously.

"Define fully clothed," said John straight faced.

"Oh my god!" said Sami in horror and before John could stop her she somehow managed to throw herself on the balustrade and scramble up it, throwing herself over it so that she was standing in the little private court yard.

Sami tried to move forward so she could look into the doors for herself but in her haste tripped over one of the chairs that was there. She stumbled backwards into the French doors that then swung open and caused her to tumble into the room that held EJ and his mystery man.

"Samantha!"

The sound of EJ saying her name in shock came to her as she blinked dazedly up at the ceiling as she lay there, half on the balcony, half in the room. EJ suddenly appeared in her line of vision and she could see right away that he was fully dressed.

"Are you alright?" he asked her anxiously, his hands going to check for any injuries, "Did you hurt yourself?"

John strolled in from the balcony now, hands in his pockets and looked down at Sami still lying on the ground, EJ crouched by her side.

"Your wife can not take a joke nephew," said John calmly.

"Uncle John?" said EJ, even more confused.

"Well some things never change - you always did know how to make an entrance."

Sami looked over her shoulder to see the last person in the world she'd expected to see.

"Eric?" she gasped, wide eyed.

"Hiya Sis," he grinned down at her, "Great tumble but you're landing needs work - I'd give it about a 7.2."

"Eric!" she repeated in shock.

"Aha!" said John triumphantly, as Eric walked out, now with jeans on and a white shirt that he had yet to button up, "See, told you - no breasts!"

Eric gave him a puzzled look but walked over to him anyway and gave him a hug.

"Hey John," he said happily, "Good to see you."

"You too," said John just as happily.

Eric pulled back and smiled at him and without missing a beat John asked him,

"And who are you?"

"It's Eric," said Sami, with a roll of her eyes, still hardly believing that this was happening, "My twin brother."

"Oh!" said John and then looked at Eric steadily, "Nope, not ringing any bells."

Eric just shook his head a little bewildered and then grinned down at his sister.

"So are you going to get up or am I going to have to come down there to get my hello from my twin?" he teased her.

"Eric!" she said happily, scrambling to her feet and throwing her arms around his neck, "I'm so happy to see you!"

"You too shrimp," he laughed returning her embrace, "I've missed you."

"Really?" she asked him hopefully.

"Yeah," he grinned, "Five minutes back in Salem and I remember how much life you bring to a party."

"Yeah, everyone loves a clown alright," agreed John calmly, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"Ignore him," said Sami, sending him a displeased sidewise look.

Sami looked over at EJ, quietly smiling to himself as he watched their reunion.

"You did this?" she asked him faintly, feeling so bad that she'd ever doubted him.

"I thought it would be a great surprise for your birthday," he told her gently, "I know it's been a while since you and Eric have seen one another and besides, I wanted a chance to get to know my brother-in-law."

"Right," said Sami weakly.

"So just out of curiosity Sis," said Eric with a slight smirk on his face, "What were you and John doing out on our balcony just then?"

"Ahh…" Sami hedged, not sure how to answer that without looking really bad.

"We weren't on the balcony per say," volunteered helpfully, "We were just underneath it."

"So you followed me?" said EJ with an arched eyebrow, shaking his head, yet again impressed by the sneakiness of his wife.

"Not exactly," said Sami.

"But you tracked me down to here?" pointed out EJ.

"Yes," admitted Sami a bit shame faced now, "And then I saw you in the balcony when we were in the gardens."

"I see," said EJ calmly.

"And then I got John to see who… who was in the room with you," Sami admitted hesitantly.

"So," mused EJ slowly, crossing his arms in front of his chest and tapping a thoughtful finger to his chin, "You sent the guy with amnesia out to do recognisance for this little outing… interesting. Tell me darling, what exactly was the thinking behind again?"

"He's tall," said Sami a little sulkily, feeling a little foolish when he put it like that.

"Is that important?" asked EJ, a small smile that he could no longer contain starting to curl his lips.

"I had to peer," John volunteered happily.

"Indeed," said EJ with a roll of his eyes, "But what I don't understand is why…"

His next words were lost however when suddenly a loud ringing began to sound throughout the hotel followed almost immediately by the overhead sprinklers going off. The four of them stood there getting wetter and wetter, no one moving or saying anything.

"Perhaps we should all retire to the balcony," said EJ eventually, the water dripping off his nose now as the sprinklers didn't seem to be stopping any time soon.

Sami bit her lip, saying nothing and they all filed out onto the balcony. John was giving her a 'I told you so look' and she returned it with a 'I blame you for this' look. EJ took off his now saturated coat and tie and draped it over one of the chairs on the balcony, the one Sami had tripped over actually. EJ wiped the water from his face and put his hands on his hips, regarding Sami steadily.

"Samantha, sweetheart," he said calmly, "Is there something you'd like to tell me about this unseasonable summer shower we seem to be experiencing?"

"Plead the Tenth amendment!" urged John to her in a loud whisper.

"I think you mean the Fifth Uncle John," said EJ wryly, "That's the one about not testifying on the grounds you might incriminate yourself whilst the Tenth amendment makes explicit the idea that the federal government is limited only to the powers granted in the Constitution."

"Oh yeah," agreed John, nodding at Sami, "That's not going to help you - you should definitely go the Fifth then."

"Or how about the Sixth amendment darling?" asked EJ sweetly, "It guarantees your right to a swift and public trial."

"I just love how you all assume that I had something to do with this!" said Sami heatedly, folding her arms in front of her chest, "John was with me you know - why don't you all point fingers at him?"

"Oh look…"

Everyone turned around at the sound of the French accented male voice and saw Jean Luc the now rather damp looking concierge standing just below them in the gardens looking less than impressed.

"… Spiderwoman," he said ironically.

Sami gave him a weak smile.

"I'd like to plead the Fifth," she said quickly before he could say anything else.

"Man," said Eric, looking over at EJ, "Sami landed on her feet marrying a lawyer didn't she? Talk about a match made in heaven."

"I've always thought so," smiled EJ, shaking his head at whatever this latest drama was.

_Never a dull moment with his Samantha, that was for sure._


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter SEVENTEEN**

Sami walked into the living room of the DiMera mansion, nervously fidgeting with her necklace as EJ came up behind her.

"Well," she said brightly, "The twins just went out like a light."

"Yes," agreed EJ calmly, "I think they got a fair amount of attention and excitement at great grandma Caroline's last night and this morning. Although they would have had to go a long way to beat our morning's excitement."

Sami turned around sharply, suddenly engrossed in the vase that had sat on the mantle piece every day since they'd started living there. EJ had been magnificent back at the hotel. Jean Luc had been very suspicious of the fact that she was there and the sudden fire alarm considering their past history. Apparently some silk sheets in the laundry had started to smoke because someone had tossed a still hot lighter in with them. There had been a very small fire which was quickly put out but it had generated a lot of smoke. So much so that the entire ground floor fire sprinklers had gone off.

EJ had very calmly pointed out that there was no evidence to support his suspicions and that unless he was to come up with witnesses that actually placed Sami at the laundry then there was nothing further to talk about. Especially when she was in the room with them all when it happened. Jean Luc had been forced to let them all go but managed to give the distinct impression that none of them were exactly welcome there anymore. That had left Eric with no where to stay.

"_You'll have to come and stay with us," said Sami quickly to Eric as they were all escorted from the premises by security - a bit over the top Sami felt, "He can stay can't he John?"_

"_Aren't kids meant to leave home and never come back?" grumbled John._

"_I don't want to be any trouble," said Eric, swapping his suitcase to his other hand, "I can always stay with Dad."_

"_Your Dad being Roman right?" asked John with a little frown._

"_Of course!" said Sami in exasperation, "We're twins remember!"_

"_That doesn't have to mean anything," pointed out John reasonably, "Or did I misunderstand the first eight months of Boy and Girl babies life?"_

"_Yes Roman is my dad too," said Eric quickly, seeing the storm clouds gathering on his sister's face._

"_So I suppose Blondie will be visiting you there?" mused John._

"_Blondie?" asked Eric in confusion._

"_Mom," supplied Sami helpfully, "He calls her Blondie now."_

"_Ah ah," said John with a shake of his head, correcting her, "To my knowledge I've only ever called her that."_

"_You only remember the last six months of your life John," pointed out Sami in exasperation._

"_You're point being?" asked John expressionlessly. _

"_It really isn't a problem," said Eric hastily, ever the peace maker, "I'm happy to stay at Dad's."_

"_You'll stay with us," John informed him flatly, "It will be more convenient."_

"_It will mean I'll get to know my nephew and niece better," nodded Eric, "And catch up with Sis here."_

"_Oh right," said John with a shrug, "It's convenient for you too - well… good."_

_Sami and Eric exchanged glances at this - wondering why John was finding it suddenly so convenient._

"_So Eric," said John, falling into pace with him, "What's your stance on peacocks - for or against?"_

"_Umm… for I guess," said Eric a little dazedly, "I hadn't really thought about it before but sure - for, why not?"_

"_Good man," said John happily, "There is a concerning amount of againsts in our household."_

"_I never said I was against peacocks Uncle John," sighed EJ as they got to their cars._

"_Well you set one on fire," grumped John, "I can't feel the love happening there!"_

"_Whoa!" said Eric, looking around at this strange little family group and trying to come to grips with the fact that they were his strange little family group, "Clearly I've got a lot of catching up to do here!"_

"_I'd recommend having a stiff drink in your hand when you do," said EJ dryly._

"_Yeah and your sister knows just the one," chimed in John happily, "Of course you might have to wait a day or two for the insurance assessors to finish up."_

"_Get in the car Uncle John."_

Eric had come back with them, everyone had dried off and changed their clothes and then EJ had gone to fetch the twins. By the time he'd come back Eric had headed off to surprise Marlena at work. The rest of the time EJ and Sami had made a fuss over the twins, realising how much they'd missed them even though their time apart had been fairly full. Well certainly the parent's had been anyway. Sami had dragged out putting them down for their afternoon nap because she knew that would mean that their would be no more distractions which meant that EJ wanted to talk about the last 24 hours and she'd really didn't want to do that.

"You know I actually think Johnny seems to have grown over night," said Sami brightly, turning back round and trying to keep things light, "He's getting so tall now. I had someone stop me the other day and they couldn't believe that he and Ali were twins because of the size difference. Poor Ali just can't compete."

"Samantha," said EJ calmly, "As much as I usually love any opportunity to discuss our children I can't help but feel we have something slightly more pressing which needs to be discussed."

"I'm pleading the Fifth!" said Sami desperately, really not wanting to talk

"Unfortunately for you sweetheart the Fifth amendment is only applicable in a court of law," EJ informed her wryly, "And thankfully so far we've avoided that particular joy today."

Sami turned away again, knowing that this had been coming ever since she'd realised what she'd done in the shower this morning. Not that she knew the full story exactly still but the bits she did remember weren't exactly encouraging.

"Am I to take it that last evenings little blow out was a direct result of you suspecting that I was cheating on you?" asked EJ, characteristically cutting to the chase.

Sami didn't reply, just resolutely kept her back to him and started fidgeting with her necklace again.

"Because that is what you thought I was doing in that hotel room right?" he asked her, still addressing the back of her head, "You thought I was with some other woman."

Sami felt so stupid now that she really didn't know what to say.

"Samantha?" said EJ and then again, reaching out and putting a hand on her shoulder, "Samantha, will you please turn around and look at me."

Sami felt his hand on her shoulder and made a resigned face before turning round and doing as he asked.

"Samantha?" he prompted her.

"Yes!" said Sami, not liking being backed into a corner like this although she deserved, "Okay? Yes I thought you were cheating on me and yes I followed you to that hotel! Happy now?!"

"Not really," said EJ wryly and then regarded her steadily for a moment, "Why were you so ready to think I would do such a thing to you?"

"You lied to me!" said Sami sharply, "You told me you had business meetings but instead I find you at a hotel. What do you expect from me?!"

"I expect for my wife to come and speak to me about it," said EJ just as sharply, "Not take off with Nicole Walker and get drunk in a bar! Is there some reason why you felt you couldn't come to me directly and just ask what it was I was doing?"

"Because how would I have known that you wouldn't have just lied to me again?" snapped Sami, knowing that she wasn't the wounded party here but unable to stop her self defensive anger.

"Have I ever given you reason to distrust me along those lines?" asked EJ in consternation.

"You slept with Kate!" she hissed.

"We'd barely had our first date then!" said EJ in annoyance, "And I think that hardly compares to…"

He bit off his next words determinedly, thinking better of them but Sami wasn't letting it go.

"What?" she challenged him angrily, "What doesn't that compare to?"

"Well the first couple of months of our marriage your fidelity wasn't exactly something to write home about was it sweetheart?" he asked bitterly, the old wound suddenly feeling fresh again, "Just how many times did you sneak out of our apartment, leaving me in my wheelchair so you could be with your lover eh? Ten times, twenty times… thirty?!"

"You were only in a wheelchair because you were faking it!" she threw back at him, her guilt and shame over her behaviour around that time not making this any easier.

"I was not faking it!" said EJ sharply, "Like I said once - I may have been playing it up but I certainly wasn't making it up! And I have your former lover to thank for that!"

Sami sucked in a painful breath as his jab hit home and EJ instantly regretted the harsh words.

"Look Samantha…" he began, putting his hands to his face and rubbing it tiredly as he forced himself to calm down.

He dropped his hands from his face and held out a conciliatory hand to her.

"I'm sorry," he said softly and she could see that he meant it, "Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to rehash the past."

"But you wanted to know why we have trust issues in this marriage and there it is," she said painfully, "It's not like we've had the perfect marriage from the beginning now is it?"

"Samantha," said EJ, his hand going to the back of his neck and rubbing it, a sure sign he was thinking very carefully about his next words, "I don't agree."

"How can you say that?" she asked achingly, "I cheated on you, we've lied… done horrible things to one another."

"Samantha," said EJ, walking over to her and picking up her hands and bringing each one to his lips in turn, "For me our marriage started the moment I heard you tell me you loved me… that day in the hospital bed. All of the other things just washed away for me and it was like a brand new start. Ever since then I have worked so hard to show you my faithfulness and constancy but you seem determined not to accept it. I know our past has been… rocky at times but I also know my love for you will not change. I choose you Samantha… even when you're driving me crazy or scaring me half to death or causing brawls in pubs… I choose you!"

Sami felt tears well up in her eyes at his words and she shook her head.

"What?" he said gently, pulling her into his arms, "What is it sweetheart? Talk to me."

"Every time I think I'm going to be happy something happens," she said painfully, "In the end… no matter what I do… everyone leaves me…"

Her voice broke then and hot tears spilled out of her eyes and ran down her face.

"I love you so much EJ," she choked out, "And I just know I'm going to lose you one day and I can't bear it."

"You are not going to lose me!" he tried to reassure her, "Don't you understand that yet?"

"You… you say that," said Sami with a forlorn shake of her head, "But one day you're going to be rescuing me from my latest crazy stunt or being embarrassed by me publicly and just realise that you can't.. .can't take it anymore! And… and then you're go… going to leave me and I won't be able to survive it! Everyone else I could take but… but not you… you… E… EJ!"

It was getting harder and harder to get the words out because she was working herself up into a state now as she let out all the old wounds of abandonment in her life. Only Eric had ever stayed true to her through thick and thin - everyone else had deserted her at times when she really needed them and it was impossible to believe that EJ wouldn't do the same. She began sobbing in earnest then and EJ couldn't stand it any longer.

"Listen to me Samantha Jean DiMera," he said urgently, bending down so his face was directly in line with hers, his hands gripping her arms almost too tightly, "I am not Lucas or Austin or Brandon or any of those other men in your life who were too weak to love you properly! Do you hear me? You don't horrify me, you don't embarrass me or mortify me. I adore your wild nature, I do. I don't want you to stop being the Samantha I fell in love with. What I want is for you to trust me… trust in my love for you. I fought so hard to get you Samantha. I had to wade through fiancé's, husbands and family to get to you and I would do it all again in a heartbeat if it meant I could spend just one minute having you love me. I'm not waiting for you to change and become something you're not. I don't want that! You just have to let me in Samantha. It kills me that you spent the last however long suffering needlessly thinking I was being unfaithful when all you had to do was come and talk to me about it. I don't want you to have to suffer like that, not because of something I've done."

"I'm an idiot I know," sniffled Sami unhappily.

EJ brushed away her tears with one hand and shook his head.

"You are a passionate, loving woman who follows her heart, wherever it takes you," he corrected her, "And even though I hate the thought of what you must have been going through… I'm also so grateful that I am in that heart."

"Yes you are," she told him softly, "So much. I love you."

"Now there's something every husband loves to hear," he told her with a little smile, "I love you too Samantha, just promise me… next time talk to me… and then you can go do your crazy thing. Okay?"

"Okay," she said and gave a watery smile.

EJ pressed a series of lingering kisses up her neck and along her jaw line then, ending finally in a soft kiss on her mouth. His tongue pressed for entrance and she granted it and they kissed languidly for a long moment. EJ finally broke the kiss and moved to her ear, tracing it's outline with his tongue, making her shudder. His touch was heavenly as always except for one thing.

"EJ," she sighed.

"Mm?" he mumbled, the low sound reverberating in her ear because of his close proximity to it.

He kissed back down her neck and she tried again.

"EJ."

"Yes sweetheart," he replied, straightening up and taking her face in both hands, his thumbs stroking her cheeks now.

"This is really nice…" she began and had to stop as he nipped teasingly at her lips and she lost her train of thought for a moment.

"Yes it is," he agreed, his voice low and full of seduction.

"But…" she managed in between biting little kisses.

"But?" asked EJ in confusion, straightening up and regarding her quizzically, his thumbs still stroking her cheeks.

"But I've got a killer headache," admitted Sami ruefully, feeling a bit bad saying that but it was true.

EJ gave a little laugh and shook his head.

"I'm sorry," she said unhappily, knowing where he was hoping this was going to lead and she wanted that too but unfortunately the spirit was willing but the flesh was weak.

"You don't ever have to apologise for something like that," EJ told her tenderly with a shake of his head.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead and Sami wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her cheek on his chest.

"I think it must be from inhaling some of that smoke from earlier," she told him.

"That or the fact you drank your own body weight in tequila last night," noted EJ in amusement.

"I'm sorry about that," said Sami, lifting her head from his chest and tilting her head right back so she could look him in the eye, "It must have been awful for you."

EJ tensed a little, he couldn't help himself as he realised that she must have remembered about kissing that other man. It had made it a little more bearable to know that she didn't remember any of it but it looked like he was going to be denied that little comfort now. Sami felt him go rigid in her arms and felt even worse for that.

"Was it that bad?" she asked him anxiously, "Did I disgrace myself totally? Oh god, I didn't start the brawl did I?"

EJ felt himself relax at that, realising she still had no clue about the events of that night and he fully intended to keep it that way.

"No of course not sweetheart," he told her, although in a roundabout way it was her who started it all, "You were just drunk, that's all. Tell you what, let's not talk about it ever again. No harm was done and what's the point of going over ancient history eh?"

"Maybe so you can learn from it?"

EJ and Sami turned their heads to see John walking into the room.

"I think we've learnt all we need to from this little incident thank you Uncle John," said EJ, determined not to have Sami's memory jogged in anyway, "It's time to move on."

"If you say so nephew," said John calmly, pouring himself a Scotch.

"I do," said EJ firmly.

Rolf suddenly appeared at the door then.

"Zamantha," he said, "Zere vas a phone call for you ven you vere all out."

"Oh," said Sami, "Who was it Rolf."

"Nicole," he said.

EJ tensed again but Sami didn't notice because she'd already moved out of his arms.

"Did she say what she wanted?" frowned Sami.

"Zomezing about ramming za town together?" offered Rolf, not really understanding the expression himself.

"I think you mean hitting the town," corrected EJ unhappily.

"No I think Rolf had it right the first time," commented John casually, thinking about the state they'd left the bar in last night.

"And I don't think that's exactly a good idea now is it sweetheart?" said EJ stiffly, ignoring his uncle's comment, "Remember what happened last time?"

"I thought we were moving on from that?" asked John ever so innocently.

"We are," said EJ tightly.

"Then let the kids play," said John blithely, "After all, I'm sure they've learnt a lot from it all."

EJ threw his uncle a warning look which John completely ignored.

"I'd better ring her back," said Sami, going to get her cell phone.

"Ah…" said EJ, moving to block her path, "Is that the best idea sweetheart? Maybe you should give it a day or two… or possibly a week… or three before you see Nicole again?"

"Why would I do that?" frowned Sami, "You're the one who's always telling me not to be rude to Nicole. The least I can do is return her phone call."

"Good point wild cat," said John helpfully, "Elvis _is_ always encouraging you to be nicer to Nicole isn't he?"

EJ gave John an annoyed look, not finding the same amusement in the situation that John seemed to be. Sami went to go for her cell phone again but EJ blocked her again.

"EJ!" said Sami in mild annoyance, "What are you doing?"

"I just really think that calling Nicole back isn't a good idea right now," said EJ hastily, "You were just telling me how you've got a headache - why don't you go upstairs and have a little lie down while the twins are sleeping?"

"I will," frowned Sami, "But I'll just give Nicole a quick call first. I don't know what you're getting so uptight about EJ - it's just a phone call."

"Yup," agreed John stoically, taking a sip from his Scotch, "Just like the one that gave the okay to bomb Hiroshima… and look how well that turned out."

"Uncle John!" hissed EJ, "You're not helping!"

"Helping?" asked Sami in confusion, "Helping with what? What's going on here EJ? Why don't you want me to ring Nicole."

"I just think you two have done enough damage for one day," said EJ quickly, feeling himself being backed into a corner now, "You've already destroyed a bar and a hotel between the two of you, don't you think you should take it easy on Salem for a bit?"

"Excuse me?!" said Sami, her voice starting to rise at his admittedly only slight exaggerations, "What does that mean?"

"It means that the 'moving on' process seems to be a little slower moving then first hoped," commented John idly.

"Uncle!" snapped EJ, feeling himself getting angry now, "Unhelpful!"

"Don't you trust me?" asked Sami, her eyes narrowing now as she too became angry.

"Well if I didn't it would be a perfectly understandable stance now wouldn't it?" asked EJ, in rising ire, folding his arms in front of his chest.

"So you don't trust me?" said Sami in disbelief.

"With Nicole?" said EJ with an unapologetic shrug, "No, sweetheart, no I don't. And in my defence I have restaurants, bars, hotels and even the occasional golf course to back me up on that!"

"I can't believe you're saying those things to me!" exclaimed Sami angrily.

"But you're not exactly denying them are you sweetheart?" asked EJ heatedly.

"What are you, the cops all of a sudden?" she snapped at him, annoyed that he was right and she couldn't really deny it, "Who died and made you the king of all you survey?"

"Well that woman in the restaurant came pretty damn close!" said EJ tersely, "Just as well I know first aid eh darling?! Pretty much a prerequisite being married to you I have to say!!"

"I cannot _believe_ you are dredging this all up!" said Sami in horror, her cheeks going pink as the argument became more heated, "That was an accident."

"You threw a ladle at Nicole's head who was too quick for you and got out of the way leaving it free to hurtle on in it's path of destruction and strike that poor unfortunate woman in the head!" recounted EJ loudly, throwing his arms up in frustration, "In what way was _that_ an accident?"

"It was just a glancing blow!" protested Sami, feeling bad about it but not willing to show that to EJ right in that moment, "She was only stunned!"

"As indeed was the rest of the patronage of the restaurant at such behaviour!" pointed out EJ with a smirk, "And then when Nicole retaliated and threw that stick of butter at you… well that was hardly a high point now was it?"

"It missed me," said Sami, feigning ignorance to his meaning.

"Yes but not the gentleman sitting directly behind you eh darling?" EJ reminded her sweetly, "It landed on his head!"

"It's not my fault the guy was wearing a toupee!" Sami defended herself hotly, "Why couldn't he have just gone with a comb over like all the other guys his age?!"

"Well he certainly had to by the end of the evening didn't he sweetheart?" EJ challenged her, "That hair piece was not going to recover from having all that butter slathered through it now was it?!"

_Oh. My. God. _

John just knew he had to go on the next outing with the kids now - he was _totally_ missing out here!

"Like your hands are so clean!" snapped Sami, "You shot John!"

There was a sudden deathly silence then as Sami realised what she said. Both she and EJ looked uncertainly at John who was taking an unconcerned sip of his drink. He looked up to see them looking at him worriedly.

"I kind of worked that one out for myself," said John almost cheerfully, he made a wave with the hand holding his drink, "But don't let that stop you. You were saying about cholesterol soaked toupee's nephew?"

John looked back and forth between the two of them with great interest, taking another sip of his drink, wondering where all this was heading. He was pretty confident that it was going to end with EJ doing or saying something stupid which John had to admit he liked the thought of. Sami was his Achilles' heel alright. He was always so calm and in control about everything but when it came to his step daughter she certainly seemed to know how to press his buttons.

_Hell she probably installed most of them herself!_

John didn't have to wait long to see his prediction come to fruitition.

"This is ridiculous!" said EJ, his handsome face twisted in a dark scowl, "I'm not discussing this any further! Samantha, I _forbid_ you from seeing Nicole ever again! Do you hear me?"

_Ohh… jackpot!_

"You forbid me?" repeated Sami incredulously, her hands going to her hips, "Did you just _forbid_ me to see Nicole again EJ?"

"He did," confirmed John readily, "I've still got some water in my ears from earlier but he definitely said he was forbidding you to see Nicole."

EJ grimaced, knowing he'd made a tactical mistake but she'd gotten him so wild the words had just slipped out. They were words planted by John of course but that didn't matter because he was the one who'd uttered them and he was the one who was going to have to defend them because he wasn't backing down on this one.

_No siree Bob!_

"Who do you think you are?" asked Sami, her eyes flashing death at him, "Forbidding me to do anything."

"Your husband and your lawyer," said EJ defiantly, "And I seem to be serving more time as the latter then the former when you two are together so I think I'm within my rights to say that you and Nicole together are a bad idea!"

"You are not the boss of me!" shouted Sami, "And I will see who I want, when I want EJ DiMera and you don't get to say one thing about it!"

"Apart from when I'm having to do all the talking to bail you out of jail or from going to jail of course!" said EJ hotly, "Then you seem more than happy for me to do all the talking then don't you darling?"

"You were in jail?" asked John interestedly, "Me too! What did your bed smell of?"

Both EJ and Sami glared at John and he looked back at them calmly. Suddenly the sound of Johnny's crying filled the room.

"Hm," said EJ, snatching up the baby monitor, "It sounds like my son needs me. Perhaps _he'll_ be a little more grateful for the help I give him? What do you think Samantha?"

EJ didn't give her a chance to answer him, turning on his heel and stalking out of the room.

"Hey there genius!" she called out after him, "While you're up there maybe you can _forbid_ him from dropping food everywhere when he eats!"

"He'd still have a long way to go to catch up to his mother if our restaurant outings are anything to go by!" he yelled back as he stormed up the stairs, "At least our son's food dropping habits haven't required the calling of paramedics!"

"OOHHH!" said Sami in frustration, stamping her foot as he got the last word, "Did you just hear that? What does he mean by saying those things to me?!"

"Unbelievable," confirmed John sagely.

Sami whirled around and began angrily stomping up and down the room, venting wildly.

"Who does he think he is _forbidding_ me to see someone?" she raged.

"Absolutely," said John with such a look of shocked disbelief, "I don't know _where_ he would have gotten such an idea from."

"I mean is he kidding me?" she exclaimed, still pacing ferociously, her hands balled into tight fists.

"I know," said John sympathetically, "You're his wife, not his slave. It's down right Neanderthal of him to act this way towards you if you ask me."

"Damn straight!" agreed Sami vehemently.

"I would not let him get away with this if I were you," John counselled her straight faced, "I think you should definitely do something to get back at him. Possibly something involving flame throwers and monkeys. I'm free at around two this afternoon - is that good for you?"

"What?" said Sami distractedly, having only been half listening to him as she was so mad at what EJ had just said to her that she couldn't listen properly and be mad at him at the same time.

"I know a great wildlife guy if you have trouble sourcing the monkeys," said John helpfully, "Hooked me up with the peacocks no problem at all."

Sami just looked at him, not having enough energy to be horrified by whatever new craziness this was.

"I'm going to lie down!" she announced flatly and turned around sharply and marched out of the room.

"So we'll meet back here at about one-ish then?" John called out to her as she now stomped up the stairs.

His only answer was the loud stomping of her feet on the stairs and John smirked to himself.

_This must be what they mean when people go on about how rewarding it is having children… _

_Bring on the flaming monkeys!_


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter EIGHTEEN**

EJ sat in the living room, legs crossed, his finger tapping a noisy drum on the arm rest of the chair he was sitting in. Clearly he'd made a tactical error in judgement with how he'd handled the whole Samantha/Nicole thing. She'd just gotten him so worked up that he'd lost all his reason - not that he shouldn't be used to that by now around her. Samantha Jean Brady had driven him completely insane ever since the day they'd first met.

No, he'd taken completely the wrong tact with this one that was for sure. Sami had been holed up in their bedroom for the better part of the afternoon, only emerging when the twins were up and had to be looked after. To say that she was frosty towards him would be a slight understatement. Liquid nitrogen was frosty - this was some new level of coldness that there probably hadn't been any instrument designed to measure it yet.

He much preferred their heated arguments. When they'd been going at it hammer and tong earlier he'd been so turned on despite his anger. She was yelling back at him, gorgeous breasts heaving, that blush that enthralled him so spreading all over her body and her blue eyes flashing fire at him. It was doubtful that Samantha knew this but when she got really mad and they'd fight like that her nipples would become erect. Oh god - it had taken every ounce of will power to try and keep his thoughts on track in their argument. If John hadn't have been standing right there he would have just grabbed her and had her on the floor right then and there. In fact it had come dangerously close to that anyway.

EJ shifted in his chair uncomfortably, becoming semi aroused at just the memory of the fight and those perfect breasts. Everything she did intoxicated him - it didn't matter what it was. The ache for her was relentless and it was only when he was inside her, feeling her all around him that it was briefly assuaged but it was only a brief respite. As soon as he'd climax he was already craving her again. EJ pulled on the material of his pants, trying to relieve some of the painful constriction he was feeling as his thoughts did little to calm him down.

He had to fix this and he was currently putting his pragmatic lawyer mind to good use and working out how - in between fantasising about of having Samantha bent over that desk in the corner and screwing her senseless, her cries filling the air as she begged for more…

"Stop it!" he muttered under his breath, addressing his crotch now, "I need the blood around my brain right now otherwise our fantasies are all we're going to have from now on! Behave yourself!"

"Ehh… Elvis?"

EJ looked up to see Rolf looking at him a little worriedly as he watched the younger man talking away to his lap.

"Yes Rolf," said EJ smoothly, the sight of the other man standing there greatly helping him with his current predicament, unbeknownst to Rolf, "What is it?"

"Nicole Walker iz at za door," he informed him.

"And you managed to keep her on the other side of it?" asked EJ in surprise, "Normally she is pretty good at barging in."

"I am za vising up wiz her," Rolf informed him knowingly, "I can smell za perfume she likes through za door and I von't open it - just talk to her through za door."

"Very ingenious Rolf," said EJ, duly impressed.

"Ya," said Rolf stoically, "It has vorked vell so far… except for zat zing with za courier."

"Ah… sorry what?" asked EJ in confusion.

"Za courier had za package to deliver but I vouldn't let him in," said Rolf, "It turns out he haz a very effeminate zmelling aftershave. I zort it vas Nicole putting on a man's voice so I vouldn't let him in."

"Oh, I see," said EJ faintly, trying to picture _that_ conversation.

"Anyvay," said Rolf with a philosophical shrug, "He vas not happy and now zis house iz black testicled - no vone will deliver packages here… I have to pick zem up from the depot now."

EJ's face screwed up a little at that last thing.

"I think that you meant 'black balled' actually Rolf," said EJ with a bit of a grimace.

"Ya," said Rolf, "Zat is what I zaid,"

EJ opened his mouth to explain that particular nuance of English when Nicole's voice came bellowing down the hall.

"_Hey Ralph! What are you doing - I'm not getting any younger out here you know?! How long does it take to pry the old girl out of her coffin anyway?!"_

"I'll handle this thanks Rolf," said EJ calmly, standing up now that the entire conversation and the sound of Nicole's voice had put paid to any unfortunate side effects from thoughts of intimacy with Sami.

He walked towards the door, calling back over his shoulder.

"And maybe we can see about getting you a peep hole for the door," he said, "Stop any other cases of mistake identity from occurring eh?"

He'd been going about this all wrong he decided as he walked. There was more than one way to skin a cat and in this particular case there was more than one cat. EJ got to the door and opened it then, just as Nicole prepared another onslaught.

"HEY RALPH…!"

EJ winced as she basically screamed in his face.

"At last," said Nicole with a dramatic roll of her eyes, "A girl could die of thirst waiting for that decrepit Lurch wannabe to get where he's going!"

Nicole went to sweep past him but EJ was too quick for her, putting a hand on her shoulder and walking determinedly forward so that they were both outside the house now. EJ let the door close behind him.

"What is this?" scowled Nicole.

"The great outdoors," said EJ calmly, indicating the trees and bushes around them.

"I've seen it," she's snapped, "And it ain't that great! Come on, let's go inside."

"I don't think so," said EJ evenly.

"Oh," said Nicole, her manner changing abruptly then as she sidled up to him and put her hands on his chest, "Finally seen the light and decided to upgrade huh? About time I have to say… and you're in luck councillor…"

Nicole looked up at him through her long eyelashes, batting them at him shamelessly.

"There's still an opening for you," she purred and then gave him a devilish look, "Maybe more than one if you play your cards right mister."

"I don't think so," said EJ flatly, his hands going to her wrists and removing her hands from his chest.

"Well you're no fun," she pouted, "Which was why I was here to see Sami and not you as it turns out so out of my way Stretch, me and my girl Friday have some excitement to be had."

"I don't think so," said EJ, stopping her as she went to move past him.

"Have you had some kind of stroke and that's all you can say now?" asked Nicole, wrinkling her nose at him in disgust, "Because if that's the case it's going to make you being my lawyer a bit tricky. Although…"

She trailed off, seeming to think about that scenario.

"That could actually work," she mused, "Victor - 'I'm not paying that money grabbing witch one red cent'; EJ - 'I don't think so'; Victor - 'You'll never see one dime of that money'; EJ - 'I don't…"

"Nicole!" said EJ, interrupting her ramblings in frustration, "What are you doing?"

"Trying to get into the house!" she said, putting her hands on her hips in annoyance, "What are you doing?"

"Averting disaster," said EJ smoothly.

"What does that mean?" asked Nicole, looking a little put out.

"It can't have escaped your notice that when you and Samantha are together everything else around you tends to fall apart," pointed out EJ dryly.

"Yeah, who knew that all you had to do was liquor her up and that pickle wedged up her ass clean out," said Nicole with a smirk, "We did have some laughs that's for sure."

"I doubt that is the way the police would view it," said EJ flatly, "So from here on in I think that you and my wife should maintain a certain amount of distance between each other. I'd prefer a couple of counties obviously. I hear Paris is lovely this time of year as well."

"But you're always saying we should do stuff together," protested Nicole.

"I told you to play nice together," said EJ annoyance, "Case in point, not letting my wife get so drunk she can't stand and then let some…"

EJ bit off his last words and Nicole arched a knowing eyebrow.

"Oh right," she laughed, "_That_ is what this is about. You're jealous!"

"I'm not jealous," denied EJ hotly.

Nicole leant closer to him, going up on her toes to look very intently into his eyes.

"Just as I thought," she said smugly, dropping back down to her normal height, "Those baby browns are riddled with green."

"Don't be ridiculous," said EJ shortly.

"So do you want to know who it was that was playing tonsil hockey with your wife?" asked Nicole sweetly, "Of course, I think he was only doing it to make me jealous but what can you do right?"

"I don't want to know anything about that man!" snapped EJ.

"You should at least ask Sami what kind of a kisser he was," said Nicole blithely, intent on causing as much trouble as she could - more out of habit then anything else really, "See how you rank."

EJ's eyes narrowed dangerously and Nicole had a moment when she thought she may have taken the joke too far. He certainly didn't seem to be laughing, that was for sure.

"Oh look," she said with a casual wave of her hand, "It was nothing, I doubt he even had time for tongue with how quickly you pulled him off her. What does Sami say about it? Has she been grovelling for your forgiveness ever since?"

EJ didn't say anything but the expression on his face told Nicole more than he intended to.

"She doesn't remember any of it does she?" asked Nicole with dawning comprehension, finding this latest turn of events to be very amusing, "_That's_ why you don't want us to spend any time together! You're worried that Sami is suddenly going to remember the other guy kissing her and you don't want that!"

"You know Nicole," said EJ, unimpressed by her deduction skills, "My marriage has nothing to do with you."

"That is so funny!" laughed Nicole, "I guess you kind of need something from me now councillor huh? What's it worth to you EJ?"

"I don't know Nicole," replied EJ sweetly, "What is it worth for you to retain my services as a lawyer?"

"Well you lose your sense of humour pretty damn quick as soon as your wife kisses another man," said Nicole sulkily, "What's that all about?"

"It's about being in a mutually exclusive relationship Nicole," said EJ tersely, "And I intend to keep it that way, by what ever means possible."

"Oh right!" snorted Nicole, "Says the man who's playing hide the sausage with some little tramp! Well I'm not happy EJ DiMera!"

Nicole jabbed a finger at his chest in annoyance.

"I was meant to be that little tramp!"

Nicole scowled then - damn - she'd done it again.

"I am not doing any such thing," said EJ, swatting away her finger, "I have been completely faithful to my wife."

"So what's with the hotel room then?" said Nicole unconvinced, hands on hips again.

"It was a surprise for Samantha's birthday," said EJ evenly.

"What?" taunted Nicole, "Here's me in a hotel room with some girl's hands all over my wang - surprise honey! Does Hallmark even _make_ a card for that?"

"It was Eric," said EJ stoically, blowing out an tired breath.

How could he have ever encouraged Samantha to be around this woman? No wonder she'd freaked out so badly - if this was the kind of encouragement she was getting from Nicole then it was a miracle that Sami hadn't kicked down that hotel door, guns blazing and asked the questions later.

"Eric?" she repeated hesitantly, "As in Sami's twin brother?"

"To my knowledge that's the only one she's got," said EJ ruefully.

"Oh my god!" shrieked Nicole in horror, "You turned Eric gay?! What the hell? He was perfectly fine when I…"

"Dumped him to marry Lucas for a five million dollars?" filled in EJ sweetly, "Hard to imagine how that would damage a person."

"But still," said Nicole, still reeling, "How's Sami going to take this? Or Marlena… or Roman? Oh my god, oh my god - I'll give you a hundred thousand dollars if you let me watch when you tell them. Please, pretty please EJ!"

"Wipe the rabid foam from your mouth Nicole," said EJ with a roll of his eyes, "Eric and I are not sleeping together. I flew him over so that he and Samantha could share their birthday together. It's that simple."

"Oh," said Nicole, sounding a bit disappointed now, "Well, I'm glad Eric hasn't gone gay I suppose."

Nicole brightened up then as a thought occurred.

"How about I give you fifty thousand just to tell Marlena?" she asked hopefully, "It doesn't have to be true, I just want to see her face. She was so horrible to me when I…"

"Brutally ripped out her son's heart and spat all over it?" offered up EJ sweetly, "Again, so hard to understand her motivation. I guess it will forever be a mystery."

"So what's the bottom line here Tall, Dark and Insecure?" she asked him, folding her arms in front of her chest again, "Are you forbidding me from ever seeing Sami again - is that it?"

"Forbidding is such an ugly word Nicole," said EJ calmly, "So yes, that's precisely what I'm doing."

Nicole looked him up and down then, pursing her lips and considering his statement.

"You know she's making you crazy right?" she asked finally, "You get that right?"

"Of course," said EJ calmly.

"Well as long as you know I suppose," she sighed and then cocked her head at him, "Can I just come in quickly and make a phone call - my cell phone is out of juice."

"I don't think so," said EJ, pulling his cell phone out from his back pocket and handing it to her, "Knock yourself out."

"And I need to use the bathroom," she pushed.

"You're not coming in," said EJ flatly, "Under _any_ pretext."

"This isn't over EJ DiMera," she said, tilting her head back to look him in the eye, "You wait and see. One day you're going to need my help and come crawling back to me - it's just a matter of time."

"Well if I ever need to have my wife whipped into a paranoid frenzy again then you will be the first person I call," said EJ dryly, "But until that day arrives I'm pretty comfortable with the arrangement we just came to thank you Nicole."

"Whatever," she said with a roll of her eyes.

She turned around and began to stalk away but then she heard him calling her name out after her. A self satisfied smile spread across her face at that - well that didn't take long now did it?

"Yes EJ?" she said sweetly, turning around and giving him a mocking look.

"You have my phone," he pointed out evenly, "Do you mind?"

Nicole's smirk was quickly replaced with a scowl and she threw the phone, _a la _Russell Crowe style at his head. EJ caught it neatly with one hand.

"Thank you," he said politely and turned around and went back into the house leaving Nicole pouting in the driveway.

"One down…" muttered EJ to himself as he leant back on the door he'd just closed on the glowering Nicole.

He looked up the stairs to where he knew Sami was currently hiding out in their room.

"… one to go," he finished, pushing away from the door and determinedly walking back into the living room.

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami sat on the edge of their bed later that night, still brooding about her conversation with EJ from earlier that day. He was off putting the twins down, whilst she sat cross legged on the bed and couldn't believe the gall of the man. A little voice of reason was trying to argue with her and point out that EJ might have perfect right to feel the way he did but she stubbornly ignored it and tried her best to maintain her outrage at his high handedness. The door of their bedroom opened but just a crack and then a white washer was pushed through the crack and waved about. Sami folded her arms in front of her chest and refusing to find that cute.

Next thing one of the twins pull apart little balls was rolled along the floor and came to a halt just in front of the bed. Sami looked down at it and then back at the door. A hand suddenly appeared holding the little whiteboard that they used in the kitchen downstairs to write the grocery list on. Sami read the message on it.

_OPEN IT._

She looked down at the little ball suspiciously and then back at the door. The whiteboard disappeared only to return a couple of seconds later with a new message.

_PLEASE._

Sami sighed, working really hard at maintaining the rage but finding it increasingly difficult. She bent down and picked up the plastic ball, pulling apart the two halves that used to contain Sesame Street characters but now had a white piece of paper in it. The white board appeared again.

_READ IT._

The board flipped over…

_PLEASE._

Sami looked away, biting her lip so that she wouldn't smile although why she was bothering seeing as he wasn't even in the same room as her but it was the principle of the thing! Sami unfolded the note and recognised EJ's neat handwriting immediately.

_I'M AN IDIOT._

_A GIANT, HOPELESSLY IN LOVE IDIOT._

_FORGIVE ME._

"And if I don't want to forgive you?" she asked and then there was the sound of marker on whiteboard furiously scribbling for a minute, "What then?"

The whiteboard re-emerged.

_I'M A DESPERATE MAN SAMAN_

There was a brief pause as the whiteboard was flipped over.

_THA - DON'T MAKE ME DO THIS._

"Do what?" she challenged him, unable to stop the smile on her face now, "I think you're bluffing!"

The whiteboard withdrew again, more sound of writing before reappearing.

_THEN YOU LEAVE ME WITH NO CHOICE._

The board flipped over again.

_DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU._

Sami shook her head, trying to imagine what this crazy man of hers was up to. He never failed to catch her off guard and she loved him for that. Again the white board appeared.

_RETURN TO ME._

_FORGIVE ME._

_OR…_

"Or what?" asked Sami with a smirk.

Another ball suddenly rolled into the room and Sami retrieved it without being prompted, enjoying their game now. She opened it up and found a plastic moustache inside. She held it up to her face and arched an eyebrow. The white board reappeared and Sami read the latest message.

_MR POTATO HEAD'S MOUSTACHE…_

_NEXT WILL BE HIS NOSE._

The board flipped again.

_FORGIVE ME OR MR P WILL NEVER _

_SNEEZE AGAIN!_

Sami covered her mouth with her hand to stop from laughing out loud at his antics, all of her anger completely gone now. She got up from the bed and walked over to the door, opening it to find EJ furiously scribbling his next message. He looked up at her in surprise. She wordlessly took the whiteboard out of his hands and wiped off his next message - something about his hat and skin cancer and wrote her own. She held it up in front of her chest for him to see.

_GET IN HERE._

EJ took back the whiteboard and wrote his response.

_REALLY?_

Sami grabbed it back off him and began to write.

_YES REALLY - NOW GET IN HERE BEFORE I _

She stopped and flipped the board.

_CHANGE MY MIND._

Sami wiped the board down again one last time and wrote her final say on the matter.

_IDIOT._

EJ took it off her again and wrote his final say on the matter as well.

_I BELIEVE I OPENED WITH THAT._

"It was worth repeating," said Sami, trying to scowl at him but not even coming close.

"I love you," he told her with a grin.

"I love you too," she said with a smile.

EJ walked into the room and swept her up in his arms so that she had to go up on tippy toes.

"And just for the record I wouldn't have really cut off Mr P's nose," said EJ straight faced, "I don't want you to think you're married to a maniac or anything."

"It may be a little too late for that," she smirked up at him, "After that little display."

"But it worked didn't it?" he asked smugly, "Here you are, in my arms again."

"Careful," she warned him wryly, "You're not completely in the clear yet - you've got some making up to do first."

"Way ahead of you," he said confidently, tightening his arms around her.

"Really?" she asked with an arched eyebrow, "And what did you have in mind exactly?"

"Well I was thinking that you could take all of your clothes off?" he murmured, teasingly nudging her nose with his own.

"And why would you want me to do that?" she asked him playfully.

"Because one, I'm always trying to get you naked," he said with an impish look, still nuzzling her nose with his own, "And two, I've got a surprise for you."

"And the surprise requires me being naked does it?" she asked him sceptically, the corners of her mouth turning up and ruining the disapproving look she was going for, "And why might the be Mr DiMera?"

"It I told you Mrs DiMera," he said, his lips tantalising close to hers now, "It wouldn't be a surprise."

He teasingly nipped at her lower lip, enticing her with the promise of a kiss but not quite delivering.

"Take your clothes off," he instructed her, punctuating each directive with a too quick kiss, "Lie on the bed… face down… and wait for me."

"Wait for you?" she questioned him, "Where are you going?"

"I just have to fetch something from downstairs," he informed her, a little smile on his lips at her obvious curiosity.

"Since when have you ever needed props?" she purred, arching an eyebrow at him.

"I don't recall you complaining during our own version of the Ice Capades," EJ returned smoothly and waggled his eye brows at her teasingly, "In fact if I remember correctly you were extremely vocal in your appreciation of that particular 'prop'."

"I vaguely remember that," she mused straight faced.

"Only vaguely?" said EJ in mock horror, "I see I'm going to have to see about getting us tickets for the next show."

EJ let her go then and stepped back from her.

"You. Bed. Naked," he instructed her, "Face down."

"This had better be worth it," she said mockingly.

"I think there won't be any complaints," he told her knowingly and then he was gone.

Sami bit her lip and felt a quiver of anticipation go through her, her body already keen to find out where this was going. She quickly stripped off her clothes and lay on the bed, face down as instructed. The sound of the door being opened made her lift her head from the bed and look back over her shoulder.

"Only me," he confirmed and then had to swallow hard at the sight of her pale loveliness stretched out so invitingly in front of him.

The urge to just forget the foreplay and finish this right now washed over him but he valiantly fought it back. He'd been in an agony of want for her ever since their fight so what were a couple more minutes? EJ set the bottle he'd retrieved from downstairs on the bureau and quietly stripped off his clothes before picking it up again and joining her on the bed.

"What are you doing?" she asked with a little smile, "And why are you naked?"

"I didn't want you to feel out of place," he told her straight faced, "I'm just being polite."

"Polite?" she scoffed, "Is that what they taught you at Cambridge - classes must have been pretty interesting in that case."

"Never missed one," he confirmed and she had to laugh at that.

EJ moved over her, his knees on either side of her hips. Sami felt him back there and then heard the sound of a bottle being squeezed and then him rubbing his hands together. A smile spread across her face and she settled in more comfortably against the mattress. So this was his surprise, a massage. I guess that was one way to kiss ass… although Sami was hoping for some actual ass kissing at some point. She bit her lip and wondered if he'd be any good at this but she didn't have long to wonder.

At the first touch of his oil covered hands to her back she gave a blissful sigh. He had just the right pressure, just the right speed to his strokes that made her absolutely melt into the bed. Of course he'd be perfect at this as well as everything else - how could she have ever doubted him? EJ smiled to hear her sighs, knowing he was definitely winning back some brownie points here. His strokes were long and steady, his hands sliding over her body easily and finding every last knot and area of tension in her body while she made little sighing sounds of contented approval. EJ leant over her so that his lips were at her ear, his hands on her shoulders.

"I thought you might need to relax a little after all the excitement of the last day or so," he murmured into her ear, "Might even help with the headache."

Sami made an unintelligible noise as her response, too blissed out by this stage to manage much more. EJ gave a pleased smirk and returned to his self appointed duties. This continued for a long while until they both began to find themselves becoming dissatisfied with where EJ had been limiting his touch to up to this point. He became bolder, his hands straying from her back and shoulders, his finger tips running over the side of her breasts now. Each long stroke of her back he managed to move his fingers so that they caught more of her breasts on each pass until finally he gave them what they both wanted.

EJ's hands swept from her shoulders to under her arms and then cupped her breasts completely even as she lay face down on the bed. He massaged them for a while, enjoying listening to her sighs of pleasure even as his own breathing became increasingly ragged as his arousal steadily built. Long fingers found her nipples, pulling and twisting on them and making her squirm underneath him. He reluctantly left them then, confidently making his way down her back and taking time to massage her full bottom cheeks.

He knew she'd be ready for him now and the thought thrilled him but he still held off. His fingers drifted down lower, pushing between her legs and she was indeed very ready for him already. He stroked her folds and was rewarded with fresh moisture for his trouble.

"Thank you sweetheart," he praised her efforts, his other hand returning to one bottom cheek and pinching it teasingly.

"EJ," she sighed achingly.

"Want more?" he asked her, his voice rasping a bit now.

"Yes," she moaned softly, "More please!"

He obliged, driving two fingers into her and quickly adding a third when it became obvious she was craving more. His pushed and prodded her deepest parts, ringing sighs and whimpers of delight from her. He pulled and twisted on her nub, making her jerk and gasp for more whilst all the time he was making her his fingers so deeply.

EJ could feel her body getting more desperate in it's movements, could see the way she was pushing back harder and harder on his hand and knew it was nearly time. Sami was so close to her climax now she could barely stand it. Her breath was coming in short pants and she was clutching at the bedspread every time he pushed his fingers into her, whimpering her delight. And then suddenly, just as she was about to fall over that precipice she felt his hands leave her body.

"NO!" she moaned in horror, needing her release now.

But he was already grabbing her hips, flipping her over and pushing her knees towards her chest. He slid into her dripping heat and she instantly came. EJ moaned loudly to feel her orgasming all over his thickness, her heat convulsing all around him and thrilling him with the sensation. He held her in place, letting her ride him for as long as she needed until she was done with him but he was by no means done with her.

Even as she lay there gasping dazedly for air he began to move inside of her, long hard strokes that made her walls continue to flutter even longer. His penetrations of her became increasingly desperate and she clutched at his broad back, urging him on even as she felt herself begin to climax again. EJ moaned harshly, the way he'd managed her to bring her back to that point of no return again so quickly exciting him intensely. It drove him mad how responsive she was to him, made him incapable of doing anything else but following her lead. Sami gasped happily as she felt him suddenly spurt his seed into her and she smirked at how quickly he'd come inside of her. The first time never took them long. He shuddered and shook on top of her and she stroked his sweat slicked hair as he did.

_Make up sex rocked!_

"Well that was a nice surprise," she sighed happily when he was finally still in side of her, "Very nice indeed."

"But you haven't seen my big finish yet," he told her unevenly, lifting his head off her shoulder where his last spasm had sent it and looked at with a wicked little smile.

"Big finish?" she repeated in amusement, "Wasn't that it?"

"Hardly," he scoffed, "That was just a practice run."

"Oh," said Sami with a giggle, "Is _that_ what that was?"

EJ rolled onto his side and pulled her against him, languidly kissing her now. Sami melted against him and returned his kisses, tongues lapping at each other as they enjoyed each other so simply. After long minutes EJ pulled back and looked down at her, his breathing a little uneven from his returning arousal.

"How's the headache?" he asked her with a little smile.

"Gone," she said with an answering smile, "You're better than Tylenol."

"I'll add that to my resume," he smirked, "So ready for the big finish now?"

"Born ready," she laughed.

"I noticed that," he said giving her a decidedly sexy look, "And don't think I'm not very grateful for that."

"You make me sound easy," she said with a rueful shake of her head.

"Samantha my darling," said EJ with a roll of his eyes, "Trust me, you are _anything_ but easy!"

He rolled over onto his back and patted his chest.

"All aboard," he said teasingly.

Sami laughed and went to straddle him but he stopped her.

"Other way," he instructed her.

"Okay then," she smiled and went to straddle him again but this time with her back towards him.

"Lean forward," he said roughly and she could hear the arousal in his voice and her body responded accordingly.

EJ felt her fresh wetness on his chest and made a low growl of approval. Sami did as she was told and leant forward, propping herself with her hands either side of his hips. She felt his hands go to her backside and pull her further up his chest and she knew where this was heading.

"You're so good at this," she groaned, wiggling herself back towards his waiting mouth eagerly, "It drives me crazy."

Her wet core was level with his face now and he couldn't contain himself any longer. He nuzzled at her folds, breathing in the spicy heat of her, his tongue running up and down her folds. Sami quivered, trying to remain still for him. The sudden feel of his tongue pushing into her made her groan loudly and EJ echoed it. He loved tasting her like this, he could never seem to get enough it seemed. He could taste himself as well from their previous encounter and the knowledge that his seed was so deep inside her made him harden even more.

Sami whimpered as his tongue alternated between her core and her already swollen nub, it was painfully good. With her face where it was she had the perfect vantage point to be able to watch his body respond to hers. He was swelling magnificently before her eyes, standing hard and proud and it quickly got to the point where Sami could no longer just watch. EJ bucked up at the sudden sensation of Sami taking him into his mouth and he moaned loudly, the noise juddering deliciously against her already sensitised apex.

She moved down over him, taking as much as was humanly possible into her mouth and EJ's hands clenched at her bottom cheeks from the feel of her going down so deeply on him. She tightened her lips around his thickness and hummed, the vibrations causing his shaft to become even more engorged. EJ thrust his tongue back inside of her, determined to bring her as much pleasure as she was doing for him. Sami's hand joined her mouth on his hardness and before too long they were both in such a state of heady arousal that EJ couldn't take it any more.

"Move down!" he moaned, desperate to finish inside of her now.

He pushed on her bottom cheeks, urging her to slide further down his chest and she relinquished her prize reluctantly. But she was also urgently craving to have all of that swollen length inside of her as well. Sami moved down his body until she was where they both wanted her to be. She leant forward, steading herself with her hands between his legs and raised herself up, ready to take him. EJ watched transfixed as she hovered over him, tantalising him with her wetness brushing against the tip of his painfully hard member.

"Samantha!" he cried out urgently, "Please, sweetheart - hurry!"

Sami looked over her shoulder and saw the tension on his face and felt a thrill of power as she refused him, teasing him again with rubbing her sex against his but no more. EJ moaned long and loud, grabbing at her hips and trying to drag her down onto him but she wouldn't let him.

"God Samantha!" he groaned hopelessly, "I can't do this! Please sweetheart, let me in!"

"Beg me," she teased him breathlessly, pushing her hips back and making sure he knew what he was missing out on, "Beg me EJ, tell me what you want."

"You!" he hissed, "I want to be inside of you, making you come!"

"Really?" she breathed sexily, "Is that what you want?"

"Yes," he gasped, "So bad! Hurry… I can't… can't… hold on for much longer…"

His raw confession thrilled her and Sami relented, feeling the growing need for release herself. She moved over him again properly, letting his tip rest teasingly against her opening for a long moment while she listened to the guttural sobbing noise he was making behind her and then, finally she ended both of their's torment.

"AHH….YYEESSSS!" he hissed excitedly, watching in awe as her body swallowed his whole.

They both rejoiced at the feeling of being so intimately joined again. She remained still for a long moment, just enjoying the sensation of him stretching and filling her so completely and EJ managed to regain some self control now that he'd finally been allowed back inside of her. He was going to make her pay for that torment he decided with a wicked grin.

Sami began to move on him then, lifting her hips right up so that he was almost completely out of her again before dropping back down sharply and he had the thrill of feeling himself penetrate her all over again. Sami quickly began to pick up the pace, all of her teasing having created a driving need in her as well and she need some relief quickly but he seemed to have other ideas. He tightened his grip he had on her hips, forcing her to slow down and then finally stop.

"EJ!" she moaned her protest, her body throbbing and eager for more but he wasn't letting her.

"What do you want?" he taunted her as she'd done him, "Tell me what you want Samantha."

"You!" she groaned, moving uncomfortably on him, her body screaming at her to do something.

"Beg me," he growled, "Beg me Samantha!"

"EJ!" she moaned, unable to bear this torment.

She clenched around him hard as he remained stubbornly still inside of her and he had to grit his teeth against her powerful persuasion. Again and again she brought her walls to bear down on his excruciatingly engorged member until he thought he would start screaming from the voracious need to just take her hard and violently right then. The sweat poured off him at their silent battle of wills.

"Beg me!" he rasped, his voice cracking at the end as he began to lose control of himself again but wanting her to admit defeat first.

"Please!" she sobbed hopelessly, not caring anymore as long as she could have some relief from this agony of want, "Please, oh god please EJ - I'll do anything! Just please - I have to come NOW!"

EJ gave a triumphant hiss at this, loosening his hold on her hips so that she was free to move as she pleased.

"Take what you want sweetheart!" he grunted, "I'm yours!"

Sami gave a grateful sob and of their own accord her hips began to move up and down on his hardness at an almost violent speed now. She was riding him so hard that EJ came almost instantly, spilling himself into her but she didn't stop. Sami could hear EJ orgasming loudly behind her, driving her own body on. Like the first time they'd made love he remained hard for her despite his release and she gratefully used his impressive resiance to pleasure herself shameless.

EJ blinked dazedly, trying to recover from his orgasm only to find her body was driving him towards his next one with the way she was pounding up and down on him, forcing his body into hers again and again.

"Ohhh yessss!" he groaned happily, "That's it, keep going!"

She was so close, she could feel it just there, her release - so tantalisingly close. His moans of encouragement did it for her in the end and Sami came, very, very hard. EJ felt her give a final wild jerk of her hips which felt so painfully good around his still rigid member that it made him come again. He wondered deliriously if his body even had anything more to give her seeing as this was his third orgasm in a short amount of time but whatever there was her body milked from his spasming body and hungrily looked for more.

Sami dropped down, face into the mattress as her orgasm overwhelmed her completely. Every time she thought she was done a fresh wave of contractions and pleasure would wash over her and she'd find herself screaming mindlessly into the mattress. It seemed to go on forever and the sounds of EJ's helpless, choked out grunts of happiness told her he was having the same problem.

Sami climbed off him at last and fell backwards down onto the bed beside him, both of the them still breathing rapidly and their bodies were slick with sweat and each other. They lay there, looking up at the ceiling as they both tried to come back to their senses. Finally EJ found the strength to speak.

"Ta dah," he said weakly and gave a vague flourish with his hand with the last of his strength.

Sami started to giggle then, burying her head into his shoulder as he began to laugh as well.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter NINETEEN**

"I think someone's coming!" Sami whispered urgently.

"Oh god yes!" EJ grunted, the sweat dripping off his nose as his strokes inside of her became decidedly urgent now, "So close sweetheart, I'm so close!"

"No," said Sami anxiously, "Outside the door."

She looked worriedly at the door handle, her eyes wide as she hoped against hope that no one would walk through the door just then. They'd come to one of the spare rooms to escape all the chaos in the house. The twins were sleeping but there were caterers and people every where setting up for the birthday party tomorrow night. EJ had organised it all but it was a flurry of activity at the moment and very little privacy to be had.

They'd snuck into one of the spare rooms that seemed to be a bit of a storehouse of bits of furniture - a couple of chairs, a wardrobe and desk and a few other odds and ends like paintings and mirrors. No bed though which was why EJ currently had her up against the wall. Her legs were wrapped around his waist as he drove his hardness into her again and again, picking up speed as he rapidly approached his end. Sami had already climaxed a minute or so beforehand so she wasn't quite as distracted as EJ obviously was. That was why she'd heard John's voice coming up the corridor.

"_I don't even know what's in half these rooms." _

Sami heard John say.

"_Seeing as this used to be Stefano's place it could be anything."_

Oh god Eric!

Sami closed her eyes and prayed that they weren't going to decide to find out what was in this particular room.

"EJ!" she hissed, "You have to stop!"

"Can't," he groaned hopelessly, stopping completely beyond him now, "Oh god, Sa… Samantha!"

Sami felt him tense suddenly inside her and then he gave a final hard thrust and there was the sensation of him releasing himself into her. EJ threw back his head, giving a choked sob at the exquisite feeling of finally being able to climax. Sami frantically cupped both her hands over his mouth to muffle his moans as his body continued in it's frenzied dance inside of her. She could hear John and Eric's voices moving away now and she nearly cried with relief, taking her hands off EJ's mouth. He dropped his sweaty head in the crook of her neck now, struggling to catch his breath.

"God sweetheart," he groaned softly, nuzzling her neck, "That was _so_ good."

She cupped the back of his head and tugged on his short, dark hair, making him lift his head to look at her.

"That was John and Eric!" she told him anxiously.

"Can we not talk about your brother and my uncle right now sweetheart?" he asked her unsteadily, "It kind of kills the moment for me."

"They were outside the door!" she told him.

"Who?" asked EJ distractedly, his body still throbbing pleasurable, making coherent thought tricky.

"John and Eric!" she hissed in frustration.

"Oh," said EJ, sounding unconcerned, "Okay."

"Put me down EJ!" she told him and he reluctantly withdrew from her, letting her feet find the floor.

"So do you think they heard us?" fretted Sami, "Did it sound like they heard us?"

"Sweetheart," said EJ dazedly, still coming down from his high, "All I heard was a voice in my head shouting - oh god, oh god, oh god and then just some incoherent screaming after that. They could have marched an entire tour group through here and I wouldn't have noticed just then."

"Oh no!" she exclaimed biting her lip, "What if they heard us EJ? And what if they'd come in?!"

"Well that was my argument for us just going to our own bedroom instead of one the spare rooms," said EJ, wiping the sweat from his brow, "No one would have just walked in there."

"But if we were in our bedroom together then people would guess what we were doing!" said Sami in annoyance.

"As opposed to walking through that door unannounced and having it in 3D living colour for them," pointed out EJ ironically, "A much better idea sweetheart."

EJ turned around, leaning shakily back on the wall and frowned.

"What are you doing?" he asked, watching her pick up her pants.

"Getting dressed," she said in exasperation, just grateful now that things hadn't gotten a lot more embarrassing for them, "What does it look like?"

"Oh no you don't, I've got…" he squinted and looked at his watch, "… another thirty minutes before I have to go down and help the party planners put up the marquee and I fully intend to spend at least 28 of those minutes inside of you."

"Oh do you now," she asked, crossing her arms in front of her chest, "And do I get a say in any of this?"

"Absolutely," he said happily, "Top or bottom?"

"EJ," said Sami with a little laugh which he took as consent on her behalf.

He walked over to the door, picking up a lone chair as he did and propped it against the door knob.

"Why couldn't you have done that when we first came through the door?" she asked in exasperation, "Then I wouldn't have had to panic like I did?"

"When we first came through that door your hands were down my pants," he reminded her wryly, "That was pretty much all I was thinking about right then. I'm a man remember sweetheart - we're not great multi-taskers."

"Oh I don't know," said Sami with a little smile, "That thing you did the other night with your tongue and your fingers at the same time was pretty impressive."

"Like that did you?" he smirked, pulling off his shirt and boxers and standing there completely naked now, "Plenty more where that came from sweetheart - now what's your pleasure?"

"Top," said Sami, shooting him a little sly look.

"And will you be needing a hand with any of those clothes you are still inconveniently wearing?" he asked, tongue in cheek as he wave a finger at her blouse.

"I think I've got it," she said wryly, "But thanks for the offer."

"Anytime sweetheart," he told her, lying down on the carpet, hands behind his head as he looked up at her, "_Anytime_."

He watched her every move avidly as she pulled her top off over her head and was left standing there naked except for her bra. EJ couldn't help himself, his eyes ran all over her beautiful body and he felt his body begin to surge into life again.

"You still seem very far away," he commented unhappily.

"Do I?" asked Sami innocently, walking over and kneeling beside him before straddling him and sitting on his stomach, "How's that?"

"Infinitely better," he smiled, closing his eyes briefly at the feeling of being between her thighs like this.

"But you still seem to be a little over dressed," he pointed out, his eyes dropping to her lace covered breasts.

"I thought you could work around it," she told him sweetly, "Up to the challenge?"

"I'm definitely getting there," he replied ruefully as she wiggled a little on top of him.

EJ sat up nipped at the hard buds contained in the lace but was quickly frustrated by it. He slipped one of his hands into the lacy cup and pulled one full breast free.

"Oh that's better," he said happily, taking the turgid bud into his mouth and suckling, "Much better."

The same attention was lavished on her other breast and Sami tilted back her head, enjoying his skilled mouth on her body. EJ lay back down on the floor then and smiled up at her, his hands on her thighs now.

"So," she said with a sultry smile, "Is my man ready to erect _my_ marquee now?"

EJ gave her a confused look at that, propping himself up on his elbows.

"I'm not sure what you were going for there sweetheart," he said in amusement.

"I was trying to be sexy," she admitted ruefully, "But it kind of got away from me."

"You don't need to say one single thing to be the sexiest creature in any room you walk into," he told her, licking his lips slowly as his eyes wandered freely all over her.

"That's all well and good but this is cutting into my thirty minutes," she said straight faced, "I believe there was talk of someone being inside someone else at some point?"

"I think you're right sweetheart," said EJ, just as straight faced, "And it's high time we did something about that."

**oooOOOOooo**

"So you managed to surprise Mom then huh?" smiled Sami, nudging Eric as he sat beside her on the baby rug, playing with the twins.

"Well not somersaulting into a room and setting off water sprinklers kind of surprise," said Eric straight faced, "I'm not really in your league there. But yeah, she still seemed pretty surprised."

Johnny excited waved a block at his Uncle Eric and used Eric's shoulder to pull himself up so that he was standing next to him.

"Hey!" said Eric with enthusiasm, "Great lookin' block you've got there Johnny, want to swap?"

Eric held up a green block in front of Johnny and the baby looked down at the orange one in his hand and then back at Eric's and decided he wanted both. Johnny took his hand off Eric's shoulder and reached out for the block. Eric gave it to him and for a long minute Johnny held onto both blocks, looking at them happily.

"He's standing!" squeaked Sami excitedly, this being the first time that he'd managed it for more than a couple of seconds, "EJ come quickly!"

She called out to EJ as Johnny continued to stand their, oblivious to the excitement he was causing, instead admiring his two blocks. EJ suddenly appeared at the door, hearing Sami's cries and looked to see what Sami was wildly pointing at. A grin split his face at seeing his son standing properly for the first time. Johnny looked up when he saw his Dad enter the room and held up his blocks to show his father but this unbalanced him a little and he promptly dropped to the ground, landing on his backside.

"Ohh!" said Sami excitedly, "Clever boy! Look at your brother Ali - isn't he clever."

"He certainly is," grinned EJ, walking in now and crouching beside Johnny, "Look at you standing all by yourself!"

"I don't know what the big deal is?" said John in confusion, "I stand all the time and no one rushes in to give me a round of applause."

"That's because you're not a baby," said Sami in exasperation.

"Hey!" protested John, "I can only remember the last six months of my life so technically I'm younger than these two!"

"Thank god we didn't have to re-potty train him then eh," said EJ as a quiet aside to Eric and they both grinned at each other.

The two of them had been getting famously, swapping Samantha stories, unbeknownst to her of course. She would not have been pleased if she'd known. Marlena chose that moment to rejoin them, camera in hand.

"Oh Mom!" said Sami excitedly, "You just missed it, Johnny just stood up by himself for the longest time!"

"Did you?" she asked excitedly of Johnny and he nodded happily at his grandmother, not really knowing what he was agreeing to but enjoying the attention anyway.

"You should have had your camera a minute a go," said Sami ruefully.

"Well I actually have it out for _my_ twins," smiled Marlena.

"Mom," said with a roll of her eyes, "You've already taken heaps of pictures of us together the last two days."

"And I'm going to be taking a lot more Sami," said Marlena firmly, motioning for her to sit on the sofa, "You wait until Johnny and Ali grow up and move away from you and see how you'll fair with it all."

"Not going to happen," said EJ cheerfully, "These two aren't allowed to leave home until they are 52 years old… at least."

"Wishful thinking EJ," said Marlena wistfully looking at her babies, "They're gone before you know it."

Sami made a pained expression at the thought of it. EJ saw her face and tapped her leg.

"Relax sweetheart," he told her calmly, "I've got it all figured out. They're not going anywhere. For one thing they won't be able to get across the piranha filled moat I've got plans to install and for another they'll both be encased in giant plastic bubbles which are going to limit their movements a great deal."

"Wow," said Eric straight faced, "_That_ shouldn't mess them up at all!"

"Hey when you have kids you get a say!" said Sami, slapping his arm as he came to stand beside her as she sat on the sofa, "Until then we're going with the piranha/moat/bubble idea of EJ's!"

"As long as you two are being realistic about the whole thing," he grinned, "… and selling tickets to the show."

"Of course," said EJ evenly, "How else are we going to pay for the moat."

"Remind me," said John with a little frown, "What's a moat?"

"It's a water filled ditch you usually find around a castle or a fort," explained EJ, "Keeps unwanted invading forces out… and it oft times came with a draw bridge so you could get across it."

"And piranhas?" he queried next.

"Small South American fish that eat flesh," supplied EJ again, "Shoals of them have been known to skeletonise a cow in minutes."

"Really?" said John, sounding way too interested.

"You can't do that," said EJ flatly, not even bothering to look up from where he was playing with Ali, "So don't even think about it."

"What if the piranha was just in a pond or something, rather than a moat?" pushed John, "How would that be?"

"Completely unacceptable Uncle John," said EJ calmly.

"But they could eat left overs," cajoled John, "And if we ever had a body we had to get rid of think how convenient that would be!"

Everyone in the room just turned to stare at him then, even the twins and John looked back, unfazed.

"What?" he said with a shrug.

"Do you think that is a likely scenario?" asked EJ stoically, "That we're going to be needing to dispose of a lot of bodies in the immediate future?"

"I'm just saying if the need ever arose we'd be prepared nephew," said John.

"Hm," mused Eric, "I was a Boy Scout and we never covered that in our 'Always be Prepared' training."

"You were probably away that day," said John, missing his humour.

"No," said Eric wryly, "I don't think that was it."

Eric looked over at Sami then and arched an eyebrow.

"Is he always like this?" he asked his twin with an amused look.

"Nah," said Sami casually, "Sometimes he talks crazy."

"So this is pretty normal then?" asked Eric.

"As near as you're going to get," agreed Sami stoically.

"Eric," said Marlena, deciding to get this conversation back on track, "Get closer to your sister, I want to take my picture now."

Eric smiled good naturedly and leant down so that his cheek was pressed against Sami's as she sat there, scrapping his stubble against her face playfully.

"Stop that!" she giggled, "It tickles."

"What?" he said innocently, "You're beard is tickling me too."

He earned a whack on the chest for that little comment and he feigned a gasp of pain. EJ watch the siblings playful banter with one another and hoped that Ali and Johnny would have the same relationship when they were grown.

"And now with the little twins," said Marlena, having taken the photo now.

EJ passed them up to Eric and Sami and there were more photos and he smiled watching it all. It felt so normal, so right even though he'd never had anything remotely like this in his children he was unbelievably happy that his children would be growing up with a normal family life.

"So which one do you think is the evil twin?" asked John casually in amongst the happy picture taking.

Scratch that - _mostly_ normal family life.

Everyone turned to look in a mixture of horror and disbelief at John who was looking with great interest back and forth between Ali and Johnny as they sat on Eric and Sami's lap's respectively.

"John!" exclaimed Sami in horror, "What are you…"

"My money is on Boy Baby," he mused as though Sami hadn't spoken, "He is abnormally large - that's got to mean something."

Sami gasped in horror and covered Johnny's ears.

"John!" she hissed.

"Uncle John this is hardly appro…" began EJ, leaping to his son's defence as well.

"Although to be fair," continued on John blithely, obviously considering this matter very carefully, "Look at you two…"

John nodded at Eric and Sami then before carrying on.

"It's was clearly the girl twin that was evil there," he pondered, "So there must be more to it then just a size ratio thing."

"I am not evil…" said Sami heatedly and then had to temper that somewhat considering everyone in this room knew great chunks of her history, "… any more."

"Or any less," finished John smoothly for her, "And before you start denying things let's give a certain hotel a ring… or a bar even and see what they've got to say."

"Sami isn't evil John!" said Marlena, scowling at him, "She's just… just…"

Marlena floundered to find the right adjective to describe her head strong daughter.

"Passionate," supplied EJ with an affectionate look at his wife, "She's passionate, determined and singled minded and all the more glorious because of it."

"Thank you sweetheart," said Sami, giving him a brilliant smile for his words.

"And as for the twins Uncle," EJ continued on smoothly, "Johnny is big for his age because I was big for my age as well…"

"And look how you turned out," interrupted John straight face.

"Whilst I admit to the occasional… detour along the way I don't think you could refer to me as evil Uncle," said EJ dryly, "I'm not my father after all."

"Granted," nodded John, "You're taller."

"Well that wasn't the main difference I was going for," said EJ with a roll of his eyes, "Both Johnny and Ali are blank slates that have yet to be written on Uncle John. They'll make their way in this world, making their own mistakes, hopefully learn from them and becoming better people because of it - like we all have done."

"So you're saying you don't know either?" John mused, "Fair enough."

"That wasn't what I was saying Uncle John!" said EJ in exasperation.

"You know what I was thinking?" interrupted Eric, seeing EJ getting more and more frustrated and there being no real end in sight with this conversation, "If Sami looks like Colleen Brady's twin and EJ, you look so much like your grandfather Santo… and they had a child… John here…"

Everyone looked at John then and he just looked back, unmoved by the family history lesson.

"So if Colleen and Santo's son looks like John…" Eric continued his thought process out loud, "Does that mean Johnny is going to look very much like John when he's older - like they could be brother's or something?"

That thought seemed to make John happy and he sat up straighter in his chair.

"Well I guess I'm alright with that," shrugged EJ, "As long as Ali doesn't turn out looking like him."

The others in the room laughed at EJ's little quip but John didn't look amused.

"What are you saying?" he asked, sounding put out now.

"That you would make an extremely unattractive woman Uncle John," said EJ, amused by his uncle's offence at the suggestion.

"Why?" he demanded to know.

"Well the chest hair would be a bit off putting for one thing," noted Eric straight faced.

"And the hairy knuckles," chimed in Sami, enjoying being the one dishing it out to John for a change rather than being on the receiving end.

"And you do have a very deep voice," noted EJ, joining in.

John looked unhappy about these criticisms of his 'feminine charms' but before he could defend his inner beauty Rolf walked back into the room and whispered something in his ear. Whatever he said brightened John's mood and he got up, following Rolf out of the room.

"You know," said Sami slowly in absolute amazement, "I think we may have actually won that one!"

"Or at the very least it was a draw," nodded EJ with equal awe, "Apparently it takes the three of us working together to defeat the force of nature we now know as John."

"The three Musketeers!" said Eric triumphantly, "All for one and one for all!"

"Silliness," said Marlena shaking her heads in amusement at them. "Well I have to go and pick up a couple of things for the party tomorrow so will you be with us for lunch Eric?"

"You bet Mom," said Eric with a grin, "Rolf does great cheese puff ball thingies - I'm getting addicted."

"Oh me too!" groaned Sami, "It's not good with a wedding less than three weeks away!"

"So you're really going to have the wedding here?" asked Eric curiously.

"Well I thought about it," said Sami, "And it was something a bit different and I've only ever been married and almost married in churches before so I thought being married outdoors would be a nice change."

Sami stopped and considered that for a moment.

"That sounds a bit sad when I put it like that," she said, her brow wrinkling in distress, "All those weddings and almost weddings."

"So you've had a couple," dismissed EJ easily, "The only important thing is that you ended up married to the right man in the end."

"And that would be you?" she asked him teasingly.

"Of course me you little minx!" growled EJ, trying to scowl at her but his smile ruining it.

"Hm," grinned Sami, "In that case Mr Right, I guess it's your turn to change your son because that is not the smell of happy coming from his diaper right now."

EJ leant over and sniffed gingerly, pulling a face at the whiff he got.

"I think you may be right there sweetheart," he said ruefully, "Time Daddy changed his little man eh?"

"Da da da da," Johnny gave his consent and EJ scooped him up in his arms.

"Actually I've got some rising damp coming from this general area as well," said Eric as he looked down at Ali on his knee.

"Well you've changed a diaper before," said Sami airily, "Off you go."

"The boss has spoken huh?" he asked of Ali who gurgled happily at the attention from her uncle.

EJ and Eric headed out of the room with their respective charges and Marlena followed suit, leaving Sami alone in the room. She sighed contentedly and flopped back on the sofa and happily, smiling to herself at how good things were in her life right then. She should have known thoughts like that only led to trouble by now though. John suddenly reappeared at the door looking very pleased with himself.

"What?" she asked him in amusement, seeing the child like excitement in his eyes.

"I know your birthday is tomorrow," he told her, "But I want to give you your present today if that's alright."

"Present?!" squealed Sami excitedly, sitting up straight in the sofa, "John you shouldn't have!"

"Oh," he said, looking taken aback, "I guess I can return…"

"No, no, no!" exclaimed Sami hastily, "No returning - I'll take it, I'll take it!"

"Oh," said John and then smiled, "Good."

"So what is it?" asked Sami, nearly bouncing up and down on the sofa in her excitement - she _loved_ presents!

"Well I thought about it," said John, obviously very pleased with himself for what ever it was he'd decided on, "You're a unique kind of a gal, nothing run of the mill for you…"

"Yes…" prompted Sami, getting more and more excited, this was sounding good.

"And I wanted to get you something you don't already have," he continued on.

"Okay…" smiled Sami, grinning like a loon.

"And I then I remembered how much you like pink things and then it all just fell into place," finished John triumphantly.

Oh my god, oh my god… pink things… pink gold… pink diamonds… shiny things, shiny things!!!

Sami was fit to burst from the anticipation of it all. John was a multi millionaire so money was no object… it could be a whole necklace made out of pink diamonds and gold. Sami felt herself swoon a little at the prospect, glad she was already sitting down.

"So the package was just dropped off," said John, seeing her tremble with expectation, "Do you want to go see?"

"You can't bring it in here?" she asked in confusion.

"Nope," said John, "Too big."

Oh, not a shiny thing then… a car then… a big, old shiny pink sports car that she could rub in Nicole's face… yippee!

"Come on," said John, "Head out onto the patio."

"Is Rolf driving it around?" asked Sami breathlessly, standing up and walking out onto the patio.

"Yes he is," nodded John, still looking very pleased with himself.

Sami stood on the patio and looked expectantly at the side of the house that the front drive was connected to and waited to hear the expensive purr of a sports car engine and then it appearing from around the corner but nothing was immediately forth coming.

"Close your eyes," he instructed her and Sami shrugged, doing as she was told.

"Can I open them now?" she asked as a full minute ticked by, starting to get a little worried now when she still didn't hear any car engine.

"Open them," said John, "You're going to love this!"

Sami opened her eyes and blinked at little blearily in the sudden light, trying to focus. Her eyes widened at the sight in front of her and her jaw dropped.

"HOLY CRAP!!!"

**oooOOOOooo**

John and Eric were upstairs, just finishing changing the twins, chatting amiably when they heard Sami's voice.

"That is one loud profanity," said Eric with a little frown, "Should we be worried?"

"I think we may have tarried a little to long," agreed EJ ruefully, picking up Ali this time, "Better go and check on the missus."

Eric picked up Johnny and followed EJ out of the room. The two men walked down the stairs and into the living room to see John and Sami standing on the patio. They both hurried over to see what was going on because even though they could only see Sami's face in profile there was a definite stunned pall to it.

"Samantha sweetheart," said EJ urgently, passing through the French doors and joining her on the patio, "What's wron… oh…"

EJ trailed off as he turned to see what she was looking at.

"Oh…" he repeated weakly.

"Wow!" said Eric, joining them, "Is that… I mean… are we looking at…?"

"Flamingos!" announced John happily.

"Yup," agreed EJ stoically, "That's certainly what they look like alright. I'm sorry uncle but why are we all looking at flamingos exactly?"

"They're my birthday present," said Sami, finally seeming to remember how to speak, "John put unique and pink together and came up with flamingos."

"As you do," said EJ wryly, "So… these are _your_ flamingos then sweetheart… am I understanding that right?"

"I guess," she said faintly, looking at the birds standing about ten feet away from them in a little huddle after Rolf herded them from the front driveway where a truck had just dropped them off.

"I've never seen a flamingo close up before," mused EJ, leaning closer, "They're surprising large aren't they?"

"How many?" asked Sami resignedly.

"Zere are zese three plus anozer three who vould not co-operate," Rolf informed them, "Zey are still round za front."

"I now own six flamingos," she said Sami weakly, obviously still trying to make sense of that statement, "Happy birthday to me."

"They're something else right?" asked John happily, smiling away proudly at his gift.

"That is one way of putting it sure," agreed EJ distractedly, trying to work out what sort of house he was going to have to by for Sami and himself now to house six flamingos - possibly something with a pool maybe.

"I didn't know you were coming so I didn't get you anything," John said, looking at Eric, "But you can take a couple of them back with you if you like when you go?"

"Ohh, thanks John," said Eric straight faced, "But I don't think they'll fit in the over head luggage compartment."

"I own a flock of flamingos," said Sami, still staring at them in bewilderment as they just stared back at her, the occasional one chewing on it's feathers disinterestedly.

"Flamboyance," corrected EJ.

Everyone turned to look at him at that.

"Flamingos come in flamboyances," said EJ, "Or sometimes it's called a stand or a stein but it's usually a flamboyance."

"Cool," nodded Eric, considering this, "A flamboyance of flamingos."

"What is it with you and groups of things?" asked Sami with a scowl in his general direction.

"I did a lot of pub trivia night quizzes when I was at Cambridge," said EJ brightly, "Collective nouns came up quite frequently."

"And now you've got a bunch of them in your back garden," pointed out Eric, "Funny how life works out isn't it?"

"But… but…" Sami stammered, trying to work this out, "How are they going to get on with the peacocks?"

"They'll sort it out," said John confidently, "It's a big garden."

John stuck his hands in his pockets and regard the rather bemused looking birds happily.

"So you love them right?" he asked Sami, looking at her and then back at the flamingos.

"I… I…" stuttered Sami, trying to work out how she felt about this turn of events.

"I think Samantha is just a little overwhelmed at the moment Uncle John," said EJ, stepping in and rescuing her as she floundered about to try and find the words.

"She loves them," said John confidently, smiling to himself.

_Sami sighed heavily to herself… she had a bad, bad feeling about this… this was not gong to end in happy, she was sure of it._


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter TWENTY**

**6:49pm ALL IS QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT…**

Samantha tucked a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear as he did a check in front of the mirror before heading down stairs. The guests would be due to arrive any minute now and she felt a little nervous about the whole thing, excited but nervous. She was glad Eric was going to be with her, it felt like forever since they'd celebrated a birthday together. Sami's fingers lingering at the new diamond earrings she was wearing, a birthday present from her husband and she tilted her head this way and that, admiring their sparkle. A matching diamond necklace hung around her neck, finely crafted and intricate, it was a testament to EJ's good taste in such things. Sami's smile widened at how he spoiled her so.

With a final check of her reflection she turned round and left the bedroom and headed down the stairs to see how all the party preparations were going. EJ had all but organised it all and the caters had outdone themselves when she walked into the living room to see both sets of French doors opening out onto the patio which now sported a marquee. Tables covered in white linen table cloths were dotted around, glowing in the many fairy lights strung around trees and bushes, lighting the area. Sami was relieved to see that they'd gone with electricity rather than flames this time round - didn't really want to tempt fate.

Stands of flowers were set about the place, matching the centre pieces on each table and the buffet table groaned under beautifully presented canapés and hors d'oeuvres. It was breath taking to look at it all and Sami smiled to herself to see how much trouble EJ had gone to for her. She was going to have to make sure she… thanked him… properly later on tonight.

"It's lovely isn't it?" asked Marlena, coming up behind her and surveying the scene with her.

"It really is," sighed Sami and then looked around, "Do you know where EJ is?"

"I think he's in the kitchen talking to the caterer," said Marlena.

"Thanks Mom," she smiled and walked back into the house to find him.

EJ emerged from the kitchen just then and met her halfway. He looked her up and down, his eyes widening in appreciation.

"Wow!" he grinned, "I am one lucky man - look at you Mrs DiMera!"

Sami blushed under his avid gaze and grinned back at him, practically glowing with happiness.

"Thank you EJ," she said and then bit her lip in excitement, "The house looks amazing - I can't believe you managed to organise all this in such a short amount of time!"

"Well I have to make sure that you think I'm worth keeping around now don't I?" he teased her.

"I guess," she answered just as teasingly, "So do you want to go and get a drink before the guests all start arriving?"

"Absolutely," he smiled and pushed open the kitchen door to let her go through first.

Sami stepped out into the hallway and then gasped as she felt EJ come up behind her and put his arm around her waist and drag her into one of the dark little storage rooms that was under the stairs.

"EJ!" she went to protest but he silenced her by pressing his lips against hers as he pulled her into his arms and taking full advantage of her surprise he plundered her mouth deeply.

"What are you doing?" she giggled when he finally let her speak again.

"I think you look far too gorgeous tonight," he told her, pressing his forehead against hers lovingly, "I can't possibly share you with everyone - I want you all to myself."

He kissed her again and there was so much passion, so much desire that Sami melted into the kiss and began to seriously consider his suggestion.

"EJ," she panted unevenly, when he eventually broke the kiss, "We can't."

"Eric is here," he pointed out with a roguish grin, tightening his arms around her and pulling her even more firmly against him, making the back of her knees tingle at the feel of his hard length against her, "I'm sure he can hold down the fort for a bit."

"So you organised all of this for me only for me not to go," she laughed up at him, "What kind of logic is that?"

"I find no use for logic when I've got my breath takingly gorgeous wife in my arms," he smiled at her.

"Well I'm dressed for a party," said Sami impishly, pushing against his chest and trying to wiggle free.

"I can soon fix that," he said with a devilish quirk of lips, his hands going to cup both of her bottom cheeks, making her squeal.

"Okay you two!" called out Eric from outside as he rapped on the door, "Keep it PG13 in there - I think I just saw some cars pull up!"

EJ pouted in disappointment but Sami just shook her head and laughed at him.

"Guess you're just going to have to share me after all EJ," she teased him, as he reluctantly let her slip out of his arms.

Sami took the couple of steps to the door and put her hand on the door but stopped and turned round to look at him with a sultry look.

"Mind you…" she purred, "There is that saying… good things comes to those who wait."

She gave him a knowing look then and EJ grinned back, wondering what his chances were of luring her back into the little room once the party was in full swing. After all, exactly how long was a man expected to wait when his wife looked like that?!

**7:03pm COME IN IF YOU'RE GOOD LOOKING…**

Bo and Hope pulled up at the DiMera mansion at the exact same time as Roman and Caroline and after greeting one another, they walked in together.

"Do you know I think this is the first time I've been to this place without a search warrant in my hand," said Bo ruefully.

"It's a strange day in the Brady/DiMera history that's for sure," agreed Roman with a bit of a sigh, still not completely thrilled at how it had all worked out.

"Oh don't start," his mother chided him, "Sami and EJ are happy - let them be happy."

"Of course Ma," said Roman quickly, "I don't begrudge her that… I just never thought it would be with a DiMera that's all."

"What's in a name?" they heard a playful voice ask behind them and turned to see Lexie being escorted up the same driveway by Abe, "Look at me."

"Lexie's right," smiled Hope, "EJ did a really nice thing flying Eric out so he and Sami could celebrate their birthdays together. We should give him credit for that and for this party."

"Mm," said Bo, not completely convinced, "I just have this feeling that it's all going to end badly somehow."

"You and me both little brother," agreed Roman stoically as they stood at the front door now and knocked, "You and me both."

**7:14pm THAT IS WHY THE LADY IS A TRAMP…**

EJ had just bought Sami over a glass of champagne when she looked over his shoulder and smiled up at him.

"You invited Nicole," she said happily, not so much pleased so much by the woman's presence as what it meant.

"I did?" asked EJ, suddenly tensing, turning around to see the blonde woman making a grand entrance even as they spoke, "Oh… so I did."

EJ was careful to keep his displeasure from showing to Sami as she seemed quite happy that Nicole was here.

"Do you know what this means?" she smiled up at him.

"That I should have rethought having food served on pointy sticks?" asked EJ ruefully as he watched Nicole walk purposely towards them.

"No silly," she laughed, "It means that you trust me and that just means so much to me EJ. The fact that you invited Nicole here means that you're willing to give me a second chance to prove to you that I can be trustworthy. Thank you sweetheart."

"Yeah," said EJ stoically, accepting her praise despite it being completely unwarranted, "I'm great aren't I?"

"So there you are," said Nicole, on them now, "The birthday girl herself!"

"Hello Nicole," Sami, determined to be polite, "Thank you for coming."

"Yeah well," she smiled, grabbing a glass of champagne as a tray went past, "I thought you might need some cheering up on your 30th birthday."

"I'm 24," said Sami flatly, all thoughts of civility quickly leaving her.

"Really?" said Nicole mock surprise, "Hm… that just goes to show you - never judge a book by it's cover huh? Especially not one that's been flipped through as many times as you."

"Why you…!" began Sami heatedly, feeling EJ's hands go to her shoulders to stop her from getting any closer to Nicole.

"Well you just make friends where ever you go don't you Nicole?"

They turned around to see Eric standing there, regarding the new arrival with a carefully neutral expression on his face.

"Eric!" exclaimed Nicole at seeing her ex and quickly made herself match his guarded look despite the flutter in her stomach at the sight of him after all of this time, "EJ told my you were back in town."

"And it appears he was right," said Eric with a little hard smile, "How are you?"

"Newly divorced if you must know," said Nicole, grimacing internally and wondering why she'd opened with that.

"So it must be a Wednesday then," commented Eric ironically, taking a jab at her poor history when it came to men and marriage.

Eric turned to Sami before Nicole could retaliate and smiled at her.

"Mom wants to take a photo of us with Grandma," he informed her and crooked his elbow for her to hold onto, "Come on, I've been sent to fetch you."

Sami sent Nicole an sour look, unhappy about the other woman's jab but comforted herself that Eric had gotten the last word and let him lead her away, promising EJ she'd be right back. EJ kept a smile on his face until Sami had turned her back to them and then it dropped quickly from his face, replaced with a glower.

"What are you doing here Nicole?" he asked her sharply, "I thought we came to an understanding?"

"We did," she said blithely, "We both agreed that Sami has made you crazy remember?"

"I think the point was that you were going to keep your distance," he said through gritted teeth.

"Oh geez!" she said with a roll of her eyes, "Are you still going on about that? That was days ago - get over it already!"

"I don't want you talking to my wife about that night," said EJ tersely, "And I certainly don't want you encouraging her into a repeat performance at some point down the road!"

"I'm no expert on marriage…" she began.

"I think that goes without saying," interrupted EJ flatly.

"But why don't you talk to Sami about it?" she continued on as though he hadn't spoken, "What's the worst that can happen - remember the guy and go and look him up and then end up hooking up with him and doing the usual Sami thing and falling in love with him and run off leaving you alone with a broken heart?"

EJ just looked back at her silently, unimpressed by the picture she was painting and Nicole gave a bit of a grimace.

"I guess that would suck a bit," she confessed, "Maybe it won't be that bad - maybe she'll only hate you for keeping it from her. See, there is always an up side!"

"That was the most pathetic pep talk I think I have ever received," said EJ flatly and Nicole shrugged at that, not really caring.

"So what did Daddy Warbucks give the old girl for her birthday?" asked Nicole curious as to what goodies Sami might have scored from her multi millionaire step daddy and bored with their conversation now.

"Uncle John gave her flamingos," said EJ distractedly.

Nicole forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"Is that an euphemism for something dirty?" she asked bemused.

"Of course not Nicole!" he snapped, "He gave the flamingos - you know, the big pink bird!"

"Wow," said Nicole looking a little taken aback, "He really is a few sandwiches short of a picnic isn't he?"

"Nicole," said EJ, ignoring her comment, "I think you should leave."

"And I think I should stay," she said sweetly, "And if you try and get me to leave I'm going to show you what a real scene looks like EJ DiMera!"

"Fine!" he said harshly, "Stay then but keep out of trouble or else Nicole - I won't have you ruin tonight for Sami."

"Wow," said Nicole with a dramatic sigh but didn't look the least bit concerned by his threats, "You need to work on your host with the most act and I'm just waiting for Sami to get a few drinks into her before the real fun starts."

"NO!" said EJ, a little more loudly than he intended, "No drinks, no fun - got that Nicole?!"

"And a big bah humbug to you too councillor," she sniffed and grabbed another drink from a tray floating past, replacing it with her empty one, "I'm off to mingle - ta tah darling."

"I'm watching you Nicole," said EJ ominously.

"Then I'm better give you something to watch then hadn't I councillor?" she sassed him cheekily, disappearing into the throng of people.

EJ felt a hand on his arm and looked down to see Lexie looking up at him worriedly.

"Is everything alright EJ?" she asked him with quiet concern.

"Unlikely Lexie," sighed EJ in resignation, "It's unlikely."

**7:22pm A MOMENT ON THE LIPS…**

Eric walked up to John as he surveyed the buffet table intently. John looked at him as he came to stand beside him.

"Elvis informs me I'm to ask if I'm not sure what something is before I food it," said John expressionlessly.

"Oh… well… that's probably good advice John," smiled Eric, taking John's strange turns of expression in his stride now, "Otherwise you might end up eating those wax fruit over there."

John cocked his head and looked at the very realistic and intricate food and flower centre piece and picked up an apple from it. He looked at it carefully before sniffing it. Eric arched an eyebrow at his behaviour but didn't comment.

"It doesn't smell like anything," John informed him flatly.

"Well it wouldn't would it?" said Eric with a little quirk of his lips, "It's made of wax."

"Candles are made of wax right?" asked John and Eric nodded his head in silent confirmation, "So if a candle smells of apples but tastes like wax does that mean this this will taste like an apple because it doesn't smell like one but is shaped like one?"

Eric paused and tried to dissect that statement.

"Ah… sorry," he said, "Run that by me one more time John. You want to know what exactly?"

John was saved the effort of repeating himself as EJ walked by them, intent on keeping Nicole in close range so he could pre-empt any real disasters and saw his uncle standing there with the wax fruit in his hand. Without breaking stride or even turning his head as he kept his eyes fixed on the tall blonde he strode by the two of them and offered his help.

"Don't eat the wax fruit Uncle John," he said distractedly and was already striding away as he did.

John made a regretful face and placed the fake apple back in the platter.

"You're a weird guy John," mused Eric.

"Is that a problem?" asked John bluntly.

"Not for me," smiled Eric, finding this new John to be very entertaining.

He'd loved the old John and hadn't had the issues that his sister had about his Mom and John being together but he had to admit this John mark II was something else altogether. From his bird fetish to his frankness and all the stuff in between there were certainly a lot of things to enjoy about this John.

"So can I food that?" asked John curiously, putting his face right down close to the neat row of canapés - little slices of round bread piled high with tiny black ball like things.

"Sure," smiled Eric, wondering what John would make of caviar, "Try it and then I'll tell you what it is."

John seemed to find this acceptable, he was pretty fearless about what he put in his mouth nowadays and it couldn't be any worse than when he'd given into temptation and tried out his shaving foam which had an intriguing scent of citrus to it. It had been a serious let down in the flavour stakes unfortunately - he'd had to drink some aftershave just to get the taste out of his mouth and had a nice little buzz on for the rest of the morning because of it. Those aftershaves had some kick to them!

"So what do you think?" asked Eric curiously as John's face characteristically remained expressionless as he chewed on his mouthful of caviar.

John considered the question for a long moment before answering.

"It's like Flipper threw up in my mouth," he said eventually.

"You know," said Eric ironically, doing his best to keep a straight face, "It's funny you should say that - I think that was their last ad campaign."

**07:32pm THE ENEMY AT THE GATE… **

EJ and Rolf stood in the kitchen as the caterers beetled about preparing the next course and strategised. As soon as Nicole had turned up and on seeing John trying to eat wax fruit he knew that a plan was called for. He didn't want anything to ruin Samantha's birthday party and was going to do what it took to make sure that didn't happen but for that he needed help.

"Okay," said EJ seriously, "The way I see this is divide and conquer. We've got two main worries tonight - my uncle and Nicole. If we each take one and keep an eye on them the entire night we should hopefully avoid any major calamities… or at the very least avoid the police having to be called."

"Ya," nodded Rolf, listening carefully after EJ had roped him into helping.

"So which one do you want to take?" asked EJ.

"Vell I really don't vant to have to deal vis a cold blooded, maniac who vould zink notzing of killing a person if zey deemed it necessary," mused Rolf calmly.

"Fine," said EJ flatly, "I'll take Nicole then."

"Good," said Rolf, "She frightens me."

"Hey guys," said Eric, walking into the kitchen to find the two men, seeing them deep in discussion and looking at them curiously, "Can I play too?"

"We're just um… checking… on… um…" said EJ, trying to frantically think of something while his mind was on what Nicole and John were already up to without anyone to watch them.

"Do you want me to come back later when you've come up with a good lie?" asked Eric helpfully, "Although can I just say, I always thought lawyers were meant to be quicker on their feet with this kind of thing."

"Ve are making of ze plans," Rolf informed him.

"For…?" Eric prompted them expectantly.

EJ grimaced and decided to come clean.

"I'm just a little concerned about some people at the party causing… some… awkwardness," admitted EJ, "And I didn't want Samantha or yours' party ruined because of it."

"And the 'some people' would be?" asked Eric curiously.

"Nicole and John," said EJ flatly.

"Oh," said Eric ruefully, "I guess I can see that - particularly after what you told me about the bar thing the other night and I did just stop John from eating an entire plate of butter."

EJ arched an eyebrow at him curiously and Eric clarified.

"I think he got confused because they were in those fancy little curls and didn't know what they were," mused Eric, "He'd already eaten about six of them before I managed to stop him."

"I think he's developed some kind of oral fixation since he's come back," sighed EJ with bemused shake of his head, "He puts a lot of things in his mouth that he shouldn't. The twins give me less trouble in that department than he does at the moment!"

"Why do you think that is?" asked Eric curiously.

"Well he moves faster than they do for one thing," said EJ, pondering the question and then saw Eric looking at him in amusement and realised he'd done a 'John' and grimaced ruefully, "Oh, you mean the oral fixation thing? I try not to think about it… like a great many other things to do with my uncle."

"Zis is all vell and good," interrupted Rolf, "But zey have been alone out zere for a while now… don't you zink ve should get out zere Elvis before zings start to go bear shaped."

"The expression is pear shaped," EJ corrected him with a roll of his eyes, he really did need to sit down with Rolf and go over some of the finer details of English with him.

"But pearz are not dangerous," protested Rolf, "Bear shaped makes much more zenze Elvis."

Oh god, now Rolf was talking like John - that man was infecting the whole household!

"Look," said EJ in frustration at yet another one of those conversations, "As long as we keep the main two instigators of mayhem under control we should be fine tonight."

"Hm," mused Eric, "So it's kind of like the axis of evil and we're the US marines."

"Well there is only two of them," said EJ with a little shrug, "So it's more of a Straight Line of Crazy."

"Excellent," grinned Eric, "I'm in! Where do you want me?"

"This is your birthday party," EJ shook his head, "You're meant to be having fun Eric."

"And how can you think that this isn't going to be fun?" laughed Eric, a twinkle in his eye.

"You may have a point," sighed EJ, "You take Uncle John with Rolf, he's a two man job at least."

"Should we synchronize our watches?" asked Eric, tongue in cheek.

"No," said EJ seriously, "But I'd recommend a stiff drink first."

**07:47pm THE TIES THAT BIND…**

Emily and Joseph stood together under the marquee watching the party from the side lines. EJ had introduced them and they'd hit it off immediately.

"So let me get this straight," said Joseph slowly, working this out as he went along, "John is married to Blondie… who is that _woman_ over there… who is the mother of the woman who is married to that tall streak of hotness standing over there who, as it turns out, isn't Blondie after all. Have I got that right?"

"That sounds about right," nodded Emily with a little smile.

"And John is EJ's uncle… not his lover?" continued on Joseph, slowly piecing it altogether.

"As far as I'm aware," said Emily straight faced.

"So the lawyer is straight then?" said Joseph with a sad little sigh, "I knew it was too good to be true."

"Oh please," said Emily with a roll of her eyes, "Look at all the hotties your side has… Rupert Everett, Rock Hudson to name only a couple tall dark and handsomes… don't be greedy!"

"So to recap," said Joseph, "Sami, who just happens to be the twin sister of that hunk of gorgeous standing by the buffet table, is John's step daughter and is married to John's nephew… is that right?"

"I believe so," said Emily with a nod and then made a discrete motion towards where Lexie was standing with Abe talking to Caroline, "And that is EJ's sister."

"No way!" exclaimed Joseph at clearly what was another story.

"Way," said Emily calmly, "And there is another brother as well but don't even get me started on Sami's side of the family!"

"Oh my," said Joseph with a roll of his eyes, loving the drama of it all, "This is better than 'Days of Our Loves'!"

"Ohh!" said Emily excitedly, "I _love_ that show - watched it for years!"

"Me too!" gushed Joseph, "Who's your favourite couple?"

**7:49pm THE DEVIL IS IN THE DETAIL…**

"So John those are the flamingos John got you for your birthday?" asked Maggie, looking at the birds who were standing off on the other side of the marquee, looking in at the party curiously.

"As opposed to the non birthday flamingos," her husband teased her with a grin which earned him a smack on the arm.

"Don't be so quick to judge Mickey," said Sami flatly, "We do have the ostentation of peacocks remember and they weren't birthday related."

"That's right," said Caroline with a raised eyebrow, "What is it with John and large birds anyway?"

"I don't know," sighed Sami taking a sip of her drink, "But EJ says I should be just grateful that he's not that interested in reptiles."

"That's a good point," agreed Caroline ruefully, "And they are very beautiful to look at. Look, there is one of the peacocks now. I thought birds were meant to be asleep at this time of night, what are they all doing up?"

"I think the light attracts them Grandma," said Sami with a shrug and then glowered at Smokey as he wandered in closer to the goings on, "And that's not a peacock… that's Satan with tail feathers!"

**08:11pm LOOSE LIPS SINK SHIPS…**

Lexie and Eric stood with John trying to clear up a little matter after having just met Joseph but they weren't getting very far. Emily was there as well and was keeping quiet, simply enjoying the show. Joseph had excused himself to go and get another drink and Lexie thought it prudent that they bring John up to speed about his new friend before things got complicated but John was not making it easy for her. Her first couple of subtle attempts had failed so he was forcing her to be more direct.

"John," said Lexie determinedly, trying again with a shake of her head, "Joseph is gay."

"Yes he is," nodded John happily, "Very upbeat guy - I like that."

Lexie and Eric exchanged looks with one another, whilst Emily just smiled quietly away to herself.

"Cover me," said Eric dryly to Lexie, "I'm going in."

Eric turned back to John and smiled calmly at him.

"Joseph sleeps with men," Eric tried again.

"Who hasn't?" shrugged John, "Elvis and I slept together in New Orleans."

EJ was just walking by at that point with Bo and Hope in tow and caught the last part of that statement. He stopped abruptly and quickly moved to clarify that point to the little group and Bo and Hope who had also over heard John's statement.

"It was only one time and it was just because his bed smelt of weasel," said EJ quickly which didn't actually help the situation any by the way they were all looking at him.

"That is like the oldest excuse in the book EJ!" grinned Eric with a roll of his eyes, not helping the situation.

"Yeah," agreed John stoically, "The hotel clerk didn't seem convinced either when he walked in on us."

"The hotel clerk?" repeated Bo in a kind of intrigued horror, "What exactly were you two doing in a hotel room together?"

"I think I made myself perfectly clear on the subject," said EJ evenly, drawing himself up to his full height and trying to maintain some dignity under the circumstances and nearly pulling it off.

"I don't think 'weasel' explains anything EJ," said Hope, pulling a face, "If anything it kind of raises a lot more questions."

"You know," said EJ hastily, "This is a boring story, why don't we talk about something else."

"It certainly doesn't _sound_ like a boring story my dear," said Emily straight faced.

"Et tu Emily?" asked EJ in quiet resignation which only made her begin to laugh at him, "Et tu?"

Maggie and Mickey appeared then and EJ was grateful at least that the man who he worked for hadn't heard John's latest revelation.

"Do you mind if we steal these two?" asked Maggie brightly, indicating Bo and Hope, totally unaware of what she was breaking up and EJ could have kissed in that moment but he had enough to explain already so controlled himself.

"Ah…" hesitated Hope, clearly wanting to hear more about the weasel story but Maggie was already steering the two of them away and EJ let out a relieved breath - two down at least.

"What started this particular conversation?" asked EJ in vexation, "Uncle John?"

"Don't look at me," said John stoically, nodding at Eric, "_He_ started it."

"But clearly I had no idea of where it was going to end," he smirked, "I think you've been holding out on me EJ."

"And me!" piped up Lexie with an impish look at her brother, "I can see we're going to have to go to a lot more lunches little brother, clearly I'm missing out on some good stuff!"

"In what way does this help me?" asked EJ with a roll of his eyes, taking their good natured teasing in his stride, "Eric… the kitchen… remember our discussion? In case you're wondering - things like this was what I was hoping to avoid."

"What discussion?" asked John with a little pout, "What am I missing out on?"

"Very little if that latest revelation is anything to go by," replied Emily cheekily, "And EJ, your lovely sister and brother in law here were just trying to explain a certain something about Joseph to him - that's what started this."

"Oh," said EJ with a raised eyebrow, "How did you go?"

"Go with what?" asked John in confusion.

"A for effort but an F for actual achievement," admitted Eric ruefully.

"You have to be direct," EJ informed them.

"Direct about what?" asked John, trying to get a straight answer from someone as they continued to talk about him as though he wasn't there.

"Watch and learn children," said EJ in such an old man way that Emily had to stifle a laugh.

EJ turned to John and looked him in the eye and just told him how it was.

"Uncle John," said EJ calmly, "Joseph has sex with other men, rather than women."

"Oh," said John, pondering this for a long minute, "How?"

"And I am _outta_ here!" announced Eric in vague horror, "This was _not_ what I signed up for."

"Consider yourself drafted," said EJ flatly, "Grab a shovel and muck in!"

"Don't look at me!" said Eric hastily, "Lexie - you're a doctor - you tell him!"

"How does that qualify me to answer that question?" she asked, looking a little flustered.

"Doesn't anyone know?" asked John in surprise, "Is it a secret?"

"It's not a secret per say," murmured EJ, rubbing the back of his neck distractedly.

"So?" prompted John, wondering what all the fuss was about.

"Do you remember number 15 on that list you showed me?" sighed EJ, just wanting to get this over with now.

"Sure," nodded John.

"Well… it's like that… only with two men," said EJ steadily, "And no trampoline… although I'm not 100% sure about the trampoline I have to admit - that may well be an optional extra."

"What list?" asked Eric and Lexie in curious unison and EJ shook his head.

"Please don't make me answer that," he asked of them which only made them more curious of course.

Joseph chose that exact moment to return, champagne glass in hand find Lexie, Eric, EJ and John all standing round in a circle.

"So what did I miss?" he asked brightly.

Eric opened his mouth to tell him nothing but John got there first.

"You're gay," John announced flatly to Joseph.

"Oh no," cringed Lexie quietly and EJ sighed stoically but Joseph seemed unfazed.

"Oh yes honey," he nodded sympathetically, in case John wasn't taking this well, "The gayest of the gay I'm afraid."

"I'm ungay," he made another announcement to Joseph.

"Straight," Eric corrected him, "The opposite of gay is straight John."

"That doesn't seem right," frowned John, "Are you sure?"

"Almost positively," replied Eric straight faced.

"Okay then," shrugged John, accepting this, "Then I'm straight."

"Kinda figured that sweetie," smiled Joseph.

"I just didn't want to lead you on," said John, "Although I do have some questions."

"Oh god," groaned EJ, "Brace yourself Joseph. Emily, you may not want to be here for this."

"Are you kidding me my dear boy," she laughed up at his stressed face, unconcerned, "You couldn't tear me away."

"You just fire at will honey," said Joseph merrily, "I'm all yours."

"Would anyone like anything more to drink?" asked EJ, sensing now might be a good time to get liquored up.

"Me!"

"I will!"

Eric and Lexie chorused their agreement in unison.

"But we'll go," said Eric with a cheeky look at EJ, "You'll probably want to stay and be a good host. And who knows… maybe you'll learn something new?"

"Well I just learnt I can't rely on my brother in law in a tight spot," said EJ flatly, unamused by Eric's teasing, "Or my darling sister it would seem."

"Sorry," said Lexie with a little smile, not really looking that sorry, "Do you want us to bring you back anything?"

"A double of everything they've got," said EJ flatly and then looked at Joseph, "And you may want to get a top up as well Joseph."

"Oh I'm sure that nothing John can ask me will be anything I haven't been asked before," said Joseph confidently, "It will be fine honey."

EJ just grimaced and shook his head.

"Would but that were true," sighed EJ, realising that Joseph had no idea what he was in for.

Lexie and Eric made good their escape, leaving a trapped EJ and a quietly amused Emily as John began to ask his questions.

"So Joe," he said, "Two guys, out to dinner… who pays?"

_Okay, starting off easy… good sign._

"Usually the one who asked the other one out will pay," replied Joseph calmly, "Just like you breeders sweetie."

John considered this and nodded.

"Makes sense I suppose," he said, "So do you bring flowers or what when you show up for dates?"

"That pretty much depends on the guy honey," shrugged Joseph, "What they're into."

_Okay, another relatively benign question… this may not be so bad after all._

"And who decides what goes where when you're naked?" asked John bluntly, "Do you flip for it or take turns or what?"

_Nope… it was going to be as bad as he thought._

"Emily?" asked EJ nervously, "Are you sure you don't want to go for a walk or something… the gardens are really quite lovely, even at night."

"I've seen the gardens," said Emily with a light laugh and EJ's obvious unease, "Relax my boy, you'll live longer. I'm no shrinking violet you know and I'm curious to know myself. Answer the man Joey."

EJ sighed as Emily joined the dark side and left him standing on the edge of sanity all by himself as the other three dove into the waters of insanity together. Apparently the water was warm and lovely once you were in because they all seemed to be enjoying themselves. To his credit Joseph answered all of John's increasingly graphic questions with aplomb, granting him new found esteem in EJ's eyes. It's not many people who could face down those kind of questions and not run screaming from the room. Joseph gave the occasional twitch but apart from that he answered all of John's questions quite calmly whilst Emily looked on with quiet interest, interjecting the occasional comment here and there. They could have been discussing sport or politics for all anyone else in the room knew.

_If only._

"… and that's how you know if you've pushed it in too far," finished off Joseph with a flourish.

John opened his mouth to ask his next question but EJ needed a break, especially as neither Eric nor Lexie had seen fit to return with his requested alcohol. He saw Roman out of the corner of his eye walking by and practically leapt on the poor man.

"Roman!" said EJ, grabbing his arm and dragging him into their little circle, "Have you met Joseph Miller? He's a friend of Uncle John's and this is Emily Jorgensen, a dear friend of Samantha and mine. Joseph, Emily this is Samantha's father, Roman Brady."

"Hello Roman," said Emily, taking pity on EJ and helping him in the distraction, "It's nice to meet you."

"You too Emily," smiled Roman warmly, "I've heard Sami speak about you very affectionately and it's good to be able to put a face to the name now."

"You're daughter is an amazing young woman," said Emily with great affection, "I enjoy her company immensely."

"She is that," said Roman proudly and then looked at Joseph, holding out his hand to him.

"Well hello there," smiled Joseph and the two men shook hands.

"Hey there Joe," returned Roman easily.

"Joe's gay," announced John happily.

"Okay then," said Roman looking a little taken aback, not so much at the information but at John's abrupt delivery of it.

He looked between the two men curiously.

"So how did you two meet exactly?" asked Roman with a little tilt of his head, curious despite himself.

"I was going through Joe's pants…" began John casually.

"I wasn't in them at the time unfortunately," chimed in Joseph, seemingly unfazed by John's chose of words.

"You know I don't think Roman really wants to hear this story Uncle," said EJ in exasperation, "I don't think he's that interested."

"He asked?" protested John and then frowned, "So what would Roman be interested in then?"

John thought for a quick moment, trying to think up something they all had in common and then brightened when he thought of it and EJ should have known to expect the worse.

"EJ saw Blondie naked," he announced cheerfully.

Everyone in the group turned to look at EJ then and he just kept a determinedly calm expression on his face.

"So Uncle John," he said straight faced and not missing a beat, "You were saying… you were in Joseph's pants…"

"Oh too late for that dear boy," said Emily with a wicked little smile on her face, "That ship has sailed."

"And how!" exclaimed Joseph, much more interested in this story now.

EJ gave a resigned sigh fearing Emily and Joseph were right. Roman meanwhile hadn't said a single word and then there was this long, painfully awkward pause were Roman just stared at EJ and EJ could feel the flesh burning off his bones.

"So Roman," said EJ eventually, giving the best image of being cool, calm and collected as he could in the circumstances, "How's work these days? Been busy?"

"What are you doing seeing Marlena naked?" asked Roman in a low angry tone.

"It was completely an accident," said EJ quickly, "She was in the shower… I thought it was Samantha and I was going to join her… ah… Samantha that is, not Marlena. But then at the last moment I realised…"

"Wait, last moment?" interrupted Roman tersely, "How last moment? Are you telling me Doc saw _you_ naked?!"

"EJ!" gasped Marlena, who had been walking by then on the way to the drinks table and came to a dead halt when she'd overheard what they were talking about, "What are you doing telling Roman that story?! Have you lost your mind?!"

"I think it's safe to say I'm coming dangerously close," mused EJ stoically.

"What the _hell_ is going on in this house?!" asked Roman angrily, very unhappy at these latest revelations.

"I don't know!" gushed Joseph, enjoying all the sordid revelations immensely, "But is there _anyway_ one of you can adopt me so I can move in?!"

"You'd have to ask the lawyer my dear boy," smirked Emily, very amused at seeing EJ in such a tight spot.

"Well there's probably going to be a vacancy opening up when my wife hears about this conversation," mused EJ straight faced, "And rather ironically it looks like my uncle's piranha idea may have come in handy after all. If this gets out there will definitely be a body to be disposed of in the eminent future in the house."

"You're not helping yourself," said Roman unamused by talks of piranhas and dead bodies considering the DiMera mansion didn't exactly have a good history in regard to if not the former than certainly the latter.

"I'm aware of that," sighed EJ stoically.

"This," said Joseph in absolute bliss, "Is hands down the _best_ party I've ever been to!"

If only Joseph knew how much more party there was to come he might have saved his enthusiasm…


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter TWENTY-ONE**

**9:08pm EVERY MOVE YOU MAKE I'LL BE WATCHING YOU… **

"Why does my father keep staring at you?" asked Sami in confusion, seeing Roman giving EJ a hard look from across the room as she and EJ danced together.

EJ turned her around in a smooth move so that she had her back to Roman now and smiled down at her reassuringly.

"Is he?" asked EJ, ever the innocent, "I hadn't noticed darling."

EJ had noticed alright - the man hadn't even so much as blinked since John's revelations and it didn't look like EJ was going to be living it down anytime soon. His mission to run crowd control on his uncle wasn't what could have been called a roaring success thus far… or even a whimpering one for that matter. He needed a moment to regroup and come up with a better plan although at the moment he was leaning heavily towards simply clubbing John over the head and locking him in one of the upstairs room until everyone left. In fact he might do that anyway… just for the hell of it. EJ had left John under Eric's care, deciding that he needed a little quiet time with his wife to sooth his jangled nerves.

"What's up?" asked Sami, tilting her head back and looking up at him curiously, "You're all tense. What's wrong EJ?"

"Nothing sweetheart," he reassured her, determinedly making himself relax.

"You sure?" she asked sceptically.

"I have my beautiful wife in my arms," he said softly, pulling her closer to him and looking deeply into her eyes, "How could I be anything but in seventh heaven?"

"It does seem unlikely," she said, tongue in cheek.

"So are you having a good time?" he asked her, drawing her closer to him, his hand dropping down to the small of her back, fingers fanning out and stroking her through her dress.

"I am," she smiled against his chest, "A very good time."

"I'm glad sweetheart," he said, managing a quick look over her shoulder at his watch without her noticing.

All he had to do was keep disaster at bay for another hour and half, two hours tops. He was more than halfway there. As long as he maintained the status quo he actually might manage to pull this off rather amazingly. Then again, a lot could happen in two hours - with John a lot could happen in two minutes!

"You're tensing up again," Sami told him.

"Sorry," he apologised quickly.

"What are you worrying about?" she asked him, resting her chin on his chest and smiling up at him, "Everything is perfect."

Out of the corner of his eye he saw John surrounded by a group of people clearly regaling them with some story and EJ might be getting paranoid now but he could swear he caught the word 'weasel' drift over the top of the music and people talking. EJ gave Sami a big smile, determined that she shouldn't worry even as he was pretty sure that John was single-handedly destroying what little good reputation he'd managed to build in Salem and raising a whole new series of concerns for people when it came to him. Where the hell was Eric? He was meant to be keeping an eye on John while he danced with Sami? The question was answered when Eric wandered by with a plateful of food.

"That looks good," said Sami, eyeing off his food as she stopped dancing, slipping one arm around EJ's waist.

"Get your own," Eric teased her, holding it away from her, "I had to fight Uncle Bo for this last spring roll and it got a little ugly in the end there."

"Speaking of ugly," said EJ smoothly, "Wasn't there a certain something that you were meant to be doing right about now Eric?"

EJ jerked his head in the general direction of John and his enraptured audience who had just made a very concerning collective gasping noise.

"Oh," said Eric with a confused little frown, "Are we still slamming that gate shut? I thought the horse had pretty much bolted by now."

"What horse?" frowned Sami, "What are you two talking about?"

"Nothing sweetheart," EJ smiled down at her, "Just a little something between brother-in-laws."

"You're being suspicious," she told him, eyes narrowing, "Should I be suspicious? Eric, what are you two up to?"

"Third course I think," said Eric straight faced, "And then I'm definitely leaving room for dessert."

Sami opened her mouth to protest but just then Hope appeared and wanted Sami for something so she had to reluctantly leave the two men to it but she sent them a warning look over her shoulder as she left to tell them that this wasn't over yet.

"I really don't think leaving Uncle John alone at this point is a good idea," worried EJ as soon as Sami was out of ear shot.

"Why?" shrugged Eric, popping a little tartlet into his mouth and then having to talk around it, "That's the worst of it right?"

EJ made a vaguely grimacing expression and Eric perked up with interest at that.

"Whoa!" he exclaimed, "You're telling me there are more 'bodies' buried in that brain of his? Like what EJ? What else could he spill the beans on?"

EJ thought of cat allergies, Brazilians, jail and straws and so many other things that it just didn't bear thinking about.

"Let's just say he's got quite the cemetery going on up there," said EJ ruefully.

"This family," said Eric shaking his head and then looked at EJ curiously, "Is Joseph one of those stories? I mean, that was kind of weird how John told everyone how they met. You know I was talking with Joseph for awhile there and he seems like a really nice guy and I mean, anyone who isn't completely freaked out by John has to have something going for him right?"

"He certainly has the ability to remain calm under pressure," nodded EJ, remembering John's practically pornographic conversation with him.

"Hey did you know that Joseph thought you and John were… you know… _together_ when he first met you?" asked Eric, chewing on the hard won spring roll.

"Oh," said EJ with a little frown, taking this on board, "Actually that might explain our first meeting… almost. I wonder why he thought that?"

"I'm guessing something that John said," mused Eric.

"Well yes," sighed EJ, "That goes without saying. It just seems weird that he'd think that though."

EJ saw the way Eric was looking at him and quickly clarified.

"Not that there is anything wrong with being gay of course," he said hurriedly.

"Except that you're married to my sister," commented Eric dryly.

"Well yes," admitted EJ stoically, "That would make it a little more on the wrong side I guess."

EJ looked over to where John had a new group of people around him and this time he definitely heard the words 'buck naked'.

"So do you think my name is going to be completely ruined by the end of tonight?" he asked Eric in resignation.

"Yes," said Eric very calmly, "Yes I do."

The two men considered this for a long moment until Eric finally broke the silence.

"Asparagus puff?" he asked of EJ, offering him the last morsel on his plate.

EJ shrugged and took it. Why not, the condemned man was meant to have a last meal after all. EJ chewed morosely on the asparagus puff and comforted himself with the fact that at least Sami was having a good night but as it turned out he was a little premature in his consolation.

**9:16pm THREE MEN AND A BABY… **

Nicole walked up to John and slipped her arm through his as he stood talking to Marlena and Kayla, smiling up at him.

"There he is," she said, batting her eye lashes at John, "My knight in shining black armour!"

"Hello Nicole," said Marlena, keeping her tone carefully neutral.

"Marlena," said Nicole, still looking up at John, "Did John tell you how he swooped in the other night and saved me from a bar brawl?"

"One that you more or less started from my understanding," said Marlena, unimpressed by the way Nicole was hanging off John.

"I think your daughter and son in law were more to blame for that one," said Nicole blithely, "I was just an innocent bystander."

"It's hard to imagine you being an innocent anything actually Nicole," commented Steve dryly with an arched eyebrow as he returned with drinks for Kayla and Marlena.

"Nicole," said EJ, suddenly arriving it seemed from nowhere," What are you doing?"

"Just thanking your uncle for coming to my rescue," she smirked up at him, determined to make him pay for trying to throw her out earlier, "You remember EJ, the fight that you started?"

Marlena and Kayla looked at EJ curiously, not having heard this particular version of events before. EJ just smiled back at her calmly.

"I don't think you were in any fit state to recall what happened that night," said EJ flatly, not willing to give her any ground.

"And that is where this lovely man came in," she cooed up at John, "I do hope I didn't do anything inappropriate when you took me home John."

"According to my family I'm not the best judge of appropriate versus inappropriate it would seem," said John with an unconcerned shrug, "Race a couple of babies and suddenly you're a pariah according to my nephew here."

Everyone turned from looking at EJ to looking at John then.

"What does that mean John?" asked Kayla mystified, thinking it must be a euphemism for something else.

"He's just being funny," said EJ quickly, "Aren't you Uncle John?"

"I don't know," said John expressionlessly, "No one's laughing."

"Hypothetically if you were racing babies," said Steve, always ready to stir the pot, "And let's say for argument sakes that they were twins or something… who would win?"

"Not the one you'd think," said John flatly, still a little upset over his forty dollars.

"Interesting," mused Steve, "So do you think there is money in that?"

"There's money in anything if you back the right horse," shrugged John.

"Steve," frowned Kayla, not liking the look on her husband's face and knowing he could be a little quirky when the mood took him, "What are you doing? Don't you even think of racing little Joe!"

"Don't be silly sweetness," he tutted at her straight faced, "First of all he's too little and second of all there's only one of him so you can't really race him – you need at least one other baby."

"Or an animal," suggested John.

"Nah man," said Steve with a shake of his head and Kayla blew out a relieved breath as Steve seemed to come to his senses but she was a little premature, "It would be really hard to find one that was a fair match with. I mean – what would you go with for something like that?"

"I don't know – a hamster?" tried John.

"No," EJ shook his head, getting caught up in the conversation despite himself, "They are surprisingly fast. I think you can rule out anything in the rodent family really. Steve's right – it would be very difficult to find a suitable match. For instance, do you find an animal of comparable size or age or even method of forward motion? I mean… would hopping be allowed or slithering?"

"Not many animals only use two feet to get about," commented Steve, really thinking about this now.

"That's why you do it when they're still crawling about," said John sounding very knowledgeable on the subject, "Four legs – fair fight."

"It would still be very difficult," said EJ with a shake of his head.

"How about a turtle?" suggested Steve, "You know, one the same size as the baby?"

"Turtles come that big?" asked John suddenly interested.

"Oh yeah, bigger even," said Steve calmly, not knowing the can of worms he was potentially opening.

John looked at EJ and he shook his head.

"No giant turtles Uncle John," he said firmly.

"But when the babies got boring we could race them," pointed out John practically.

"Racing turtles?" mused Steve unconvinced, "That doesn't scream excitement to me."

"We could strap babies to their backs," suggest John.

"Okay then," said Steve happily, "Now you're talking! Like jockeys!"

"Can you three hear yourselves?!" asked Marlena in horror.

The three women had just been standing there listening with growing unease as the men began to seriously discuss the idea. The crazy was spreading through the house like wild fire all of a sudden!

"Why wouldn't we be able to hear ourselves?" asked John, genuinely perplexed by the question.

"I think Marlena means that we shouldn't be discussing racing baby laden turtles," said EJ, returning to reality now.

"Why?" he asked her curiously, "What animal gets your vote then?"

"You just shouldn't be racing babies John," said Marlena sternly.

"Why not?" asked John.

"Because… because…" stammered Marlena, faltering a little and looking over at Kayla for help but she bit her lip and couldn't seem to come up with anything helpful either.

"That was Elvis' argument," commented John coolly, "Not overly convincing."

"Okay," said EJ quickly, "Let's agree to disagree on that point and move on eh? Oh and before we do can we all agree that Samantha never needs to know about this conversation?"

"We can add it to the list," smirked Nicole who had remained strangely silent through this little exchange.

"Oh you've got a list too?" said John with interest, "But my nephew made me burn my last one."

"And with good reason," said EJ grimly, remembering the infamous 'sex talk'.

"Really?" she asked, screwing her face up in confusion, "Why, what was on it?"

"And time to go!" interrupted EJ quickly knowing John would be quite free with the information if given half the chance and deciding that apart from Nicole, no one had any where near enough alcohol for that!

He took Nicole's arm and smiling at the rest of the group removed her from their fold and gave a frustrated look around, looking for Rolf. Where was the man? He was seriously dropping his bundle here and meanwhile the bundle was looking up at him in annoyance.

"What are you doing?" she complained, pulling her arm out from where he was holding onto her, "It was just getting good."

"Nicole," said EJ sharply, "I thought we agreed that you were going to behave yourself. How is going in there and stirring up trouble between my uncle and Samantha's mother behaving yourself?"

"But a girl's got to have some fun," she pouted unhappily.

"So true," said EJ smoothly, "And I bet there is just heaps of your kind of 'fun' to be had outside this house so why don't you just run along like a good little girl?"

"Well I can see where the pickle from Sami's ass ended up," she said sourly, "You're a real joy kill did you know that?"

"You see that is exactly what I'm trying to avoid today," said EJ flatly, "Any 'killing' or even maiming tonight if that is at all possible."

"But if you won't let me get Sami drunk so we can have a little fun then what's a girl meant to do?" she said, sticking her bottom lip out again childishly.

EJ looked around then, still desperately looking for Rolf but not being able to find him, instead finding someone who might be able to take Nicole off his hands for a little bit.

"Daniel!" he called out, waving the older man over to him.

Daniel walked over to where EJ and Nicole were standing with a pleasant smile on his face. Chelsea had talked him into coming but they were determinedly keeping their burgeoning relationship a secret for the moment.

"Daniel," said EJ quickly, pushing Nicole forward, "Have you met Nicole Walker? Nicole this is Daniel – he works at the hospital with Lexie."

"Ohh," she cooed with a little simper, "You're a doctor?"

The sexy look dropped from her face abruptly then when a thought occurred.

"You are a doctor right?" she asked him flatly, "Not the guy who pushes trolleys around or empties bins?"

"No I'm a doctor," confirmed Daniel, a little taken aback at Nicole's bluntness.

"Well then," she smiled, reverting back to seduction mode, "In that case I'm very happy to meet you Daniel."

"Ookkaay," said Daniel slowly, shaking her offered hand.

"Well I'll let you two kids get to know each other shall I?" asked EJ brightly and promptly left them to it before Daniel could voice the protest that EJ could see in his face.

EJ hurried off, happy that he'd at least slowed Nicole down a bit for now. He didn't really know Daniel and Daniel didn't really know too many people at the party so how much harm could she do? Someone was a little less happy with the situation though, Chelsea stared unhappily at the couple standing together but there was very little she could do about it without giving too much away. She was just going to have to wait until Daniel could get away himself which it didn't look like Nicole was going to make it that easy if the way the other woman had latched onto his arm was any judge. EJ, unaware of the drama he'd just created in someone else's relationship headed off to find Rolf.

**9:28pm THE ICE MAN COMETH…**

EJ finally found Rolf in the kitchen, sitting at the table, looking blankly at the wall in front of him, seemingly lost in his own thoughts.

"Rolf!" said EJ in exasperation and the man turned to look at him, "What are you doing? I thought you said you were going to keep an eye on Nicole, meanwhile she's out there trying to permanently destroy the fragile remanent of my uncle's marriage!"

After EJ had been waylaid trying to diffuse the whole - 'I saw your ex-wife naked' thing with Roman he'd gotten Rolf to take care of Nicole but obviously he was not to be trusted either.

"What are you doing in here?" he asked in frustration when Rolf didn't answer straight away.

"Mhe trifed to kiff mef," he replied.

EJ screwed up his face, having no idea what Rolf had just said.

"Rolf?" asked EJ with growing concern, "Are you drooling?"

EJ looked closer at the older man and realised his cheeks seemed strangely distended along with the fact that there was indeed drool coming from the corners of his mouth and dribbling down his chin.

"What happened to you?" asked EJ in a vague horror.

Rolf picked up a nearby glass and spat out the mouthful of ice he had in his mouth, thus explaining the chipmunk cheeks and the drooling in one foul swoop.

"Ze crafy voman tried to kiff me!" repeated Rolf but his mouth must have been still a bit numb from all the ice so it came out decidedly oddly.

"Nicole tried to kiss you?" asked EJ in confusion.

"No," said Rolf in frustration, "Kiff me, kiff me Elfis!"

"Ooh sorry," said Joseph, coming in on the tail end of that conversation and arching an eyebrow as he too took Rolf to meaning 'kiss' as well.

Looks like that there might be a bit of hope along that lines after all and apparently he had a thing for older, accented men… interesting, wait until he told Emily this latest bit of gossip!

"Yes Joseph?" prompted EJ when the other man just stood there looking between the two of them with great interest, "Do you need something?"

"We're out of napkins," Joseph informed him.

EJ leant over and handed him a stack of fresh ones.

"There you go," smiled EJ.

"Ah thanks," said Joseph, wracking his brains to come up with an excuse to stay but couldn't think of anything.

He reluctantly left them to it and would have listened at the door but caterers kept coming in and out and would have blown his cover.

_Bother._

"So sorry Rolf," said EJ when Joseph had left, "Nicole tried to kill you, is that what you're saying?"

"Ya Elfis," said Rolf unhappily.

"How?" sighed EJ in quiet resignation.

"I zink she saw me following her," admitted Rolf looking very put out, "And fen I fasn't looking she put za fasafi in my foodz. I was wingling and eating mome foodz and look mazual and she tried to kiff me!"

Between Rolf's accent and whatever had happened to his mouth that was a little tricky for EJ to decipher but he gave it his best shot.

"So you were trying to look casual and mingle so that Nicole wouldn't notice you," said EJ slowly, "And you were eating a plate of food that she interfered with in some way."

"Wif fasafi, fasafi!" exclaimed Rolf, "Put it in my fandmich!"

"She put…wasabi was it…?" translated EJ carefully, "In your sandwich?"

"Ya!" exclaimed Rolf and started to drool again, his mouth still a molten pit of fire, "Meaps of it!"

"Ah," grimaced EJ, trying not to laugh at Rolf's misfortune, "That was a bit unlucky. Are you alright?"

"Nein!" exclaimed Rolf, "Zat voman is za mevil!!"

"I don't think she's the devil," said EJ with a resigned shake of his head, "Probably just a second cousin or something."

"I vant manger foney for going mear her Elfis!" said Rolf hotly, dribbling quite badly now.

"We'll talk compensation later," sighed EJ feeling a bit bad for Rolf now, "Just suck on your ice and you'll be fine."

"Fayz you!" sulked Rolf, "I zink a mave fermenant mamage to my fouf!"

EJ left him then, sitting there with a mouthful of ice and thinking dark thoughts. EJ walked out of the kitchen and back to the party and met up with Eric.

"Find him?" asked Eric.

"Yes," nodded EJ stoically, "But he's not in a good way. He's out for the rest of the night I'm guessing."

"Wow," said Eric, "This assignment should have come with danger money."

"Don't you start," scowled EJ, "You volunteered to help!"

"So what happened to Rolfy then?" asked Eric curiously.

"Your ex-girlfriend assaulted him with wasabi," said EJ flatly.

"Well she was always creative," said Eric with a shrug, "In a crazed kind of a way. Is he going to be alright?"

"He's not happy," admitted EJ.

"What?" asked Eric, tongue in cheek, "A little hot and bothered maybe… spitting fire even?"

"Why don't you go and ask him?" suggested EJ wryly, "I'm sure little jokes like that will cheer him up no end!"

"I'll let him be," grinned Eric and saw EJ's stressed expression, "Relax man - so we lost one butler? It could have been worse right? I'm sure that's as bad as it's going to get tonight."

EJ gave a sudden shudder than and Eric looked at him in surprise.

"What was that?" he asked him.

"Someone just walked over my grave," admitted EJ.

"I get that all the time," said John, suddenly appearing beside them both.

Eric and EJ turned to look at him as he continued his thought.

"I should really get that grave dug up or something until I'm ready to use it for real," he mused.

"I've said it before and I'll say it again," said Eric calmly, "You're a weird guy John."

**oooOOOOooo**

Outside the back door of the kitchen one of the caterers moved some empty crates up against the wall of the house. This caused the end of one line of fairy lights that had been tethered there to come lose and fall on the ground. The rest of the that string of fairy lights stretched around to the side of the house ending up in the marquee/patio area.

_*And without knowing it, he'd doomed them all._


	22. Chapter 22

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****: **Okay and now for the big finish of the party and I do mean big! LOL This chapter is 19 pages long but I didn't want to break it up and interrupt the flow because so much was going on. This was the first time I'd attempted to write for so many characters and in this format so it was a bit of a learning curve for me. I had such fun writing this party and it becomes a bit of a theme in later chapters – the DiMera parties going off with a bang. LOL

I love Uncle John's bird fetish which only goes from bad to worse I might add, much to the rest of the family's horror. ;) I hope you enjoy the rest of the party and thanks as always for the lovely comments. The more comments I get, the more quickly I'm inspired I am to getting around to posting the next chapters. A bit of blackmailing anyone... ? LOL

Please enjoy...

**Chapter TWENTY TWO**

**9:33pm THE POSTMAN ALWAYS KNOCKS TWICE…**

EJ walked from the kitchen into the corridor that ran from his left to his right. To his right it joined onto the living room and to his left it led out to the side of the house. He was intending to go to his right and head back into the living room but a flash of colour caught his eye through the glass sliding door on his left and he recognised Smokey. EJ didn't like that particular peacock being this close to the house so he went down to investigate.

"Where you going?" asked Eric curiously who had been following him out, intending on returning to the party.

"Just want to check on something," he said over his shoulder as he headed down the corridor.

EJ pulled back the sliding door and stepped out into the side garden which was partially paved this close to the house. He looked Smokey up and down and Smokey looked him up and down.

"He's got attitude I'll give him that," said an amused Eric as he leant against the door and saw the peacock and EJ sizing each other up.

"Well he can take that attitude a little distance from the house thank you very much," said EJ flatly and then to Smokey, "This is no place for you so run along - there's a good peacock."

Smokey gave him a dismissive look, clearly offended at being spoken to in such condescending terms. EJ had made a sweeping gesture with his hands, indicating which way he should go so Smokey of course promptly went the other way, walking under some dangling fairy lights.

"I don't think he likes you," observed Eric.

"I don't know why," said EJ dryly, "I did extinguish him you know - he'd be a whole lot crispier now if it wasn't for me."

EJ walked over to his left to try and get Smokey to go the way he wanted but the unhelpful bird just turned around a couple of times but went nowhere.

"Ah EJ?" said Eric a little uncertainly, "He's getting kind of tangled there."

"I can see that," said EJ in annoyance, "Silly creature. Come and give me a hand Eric, we're going to have to grab him and untangle him."

Eric came up on the other side of Smokey and he eyed them off suspiciously.

"Do these lights go all the way round to the back of the house?" asked Eric as he edged closer to Smokey.

"Yes," said EJ, keeping his eyes on the bird, "So we really don't want him running off right about now and tearing out all the fairy lights as he does so let's make sure we do this by the numbers eh?"

"I've never wrangled a peacock before," commented Eric.

"On my count, we both make a grab for him," said EJ calmly as he stood to Smokey's right and Eric to his left, "One… two… THREE!"

Both men lunged at Smokey and managed to latch onto him, Smokey made some very unhappy noises as EJ picked him up and Eric began to untangle the lights from around Smokey's neck and body.

"He's kind of vocal," noted Eric.

"Yes," said EJ, flinching a little as Smokey squawked loudly in his ear, "He's always got something to say."

"Almost done," said Eric, removing the last line, "Is he going to attack us when you put him down."

"It's a pretty strong possibility," admitted EJ, "He has a habit of being ungrateful."

Now the Smokey was free Eric stepped back and EJ prepared to put him down but with Eric moving away he noticed something.

"Oh," he said quietly.

"What?" asked Eric, looking over his shoulder to where EJ was looking, "Oh."

All of John's flamingos stood in a group by the door that Eric had left open, watching the goings on.

"Alright then," said EJ calmly, "Nice flamingos… don't go through that door now… nothing in there for you."

"Stay away from the light guys," agreed Eric, turning around slowly so as not to startle them, "Okay Bird Whisperer - what now? If we're not very careful here they are going to take a couple of steps that way and end up in the house."

"I'm aware of that Eric," said EJ, trying to think of what to do next even while he still held onto Smokey.

"Maybe if we put Smokey down he'll just lead them off in the right direction?" suggested Eric.

"Yes," said EJ mockingly, "Because he's proven to be so helpful already hasn't he?"

"Well genius you come up with something then," shrugged Eric.

"Try edging closer to them but go along the wall and try and put yourself between them and the door," suggested EJ, "I'll hold onto Smokey just in case."

"Worth a shot I suppose," said Eric and started to edge towards the wall and then moving along it towards the flamingos.

He only gotten half way when of one accord the flamingos just suddenly walked into the corridor.

"Nope," said Eric brightly, "Didn't work - got a Plan B at all?"

"Great!" groaned EJ and put down Smokey now seeing as the damage was already done.

Smokey fluffed his feathers and looked down his beak at them and then looked over at the door way the flamingos just walked into and then back to the two men.

"Can… can peacocks smirk?" asked Eric, taken aback by the display.

"Of course not," said EJ but not as certainly as he'd like.

"I think he planned this," said Eric slowly, "Look at him, he's laughing at us!"

"Can you hear yourself Eric?" asked EJ with a shake of his head, "He's a peacock!"

"He lured us out here and distracted us so his cohorts could get into the house!" insisted Eric with great certainty.

"Can you lose your mind at some other more convenient time please?" asked EJ in exasperation, "We have a slightly more pressing matter to attend to now."

With a last suspicious look at Smokey Eric followed EJ over to where he was now standing at the sliding glass door.

"Look," said EJ urgently, "They're still in the corridor - we might still be able to nip disaster in the bud!"

Eric stood beside EJ and saw that the birds were still huddled together uncertainly in the middle of the corridor, looking about them, obviously deciding what to do next.

"They're on this side of the kitchen door," observed EJ, "If Rolf is still in the kitchen all we have to do is get him to come up and then he'll be on the other side of them and he can just usher them back this way - no problem at all."

"Okay," said Eric, "Not too bad a Plan B I suppose."

"Rolf!" called out in the quietest shout he could manage, "Rolf… Rolf!"

Eric snickered a little then.

"What?" frowned EJ, looking at him.

"You sound like a dog barking," observed Eric with a grin.

"How does that help us Eric?" asked EJ with a roll of his eyes, really not needing him to be channelling John right at that moment.

"A little humour to lighten the mood perhaps?" he suggested innocently.

"My mood will be plenty light once I've got those birds out of the house," said EJ flatly, "The last thing we need is all those flamingos running wild and free in the mansion!"

"You make an excellent point," nodded Eric sagely, "Please continue."

"Rolf!" EJ tried again, "Rolf!"

Eric gave a little chortle again but EJ ignored him. Rolf meanwhile had heard him calling his name and gotten up and walked to the kitchen door. It he'd been only a split second earlier though things might have turned out differently but unfortunately he wasn't… so they didn't. Rolf went to push on the door that opened into the corridor but just as he did there was a roar of laughter from the party which startled the flamingos and they began to run… away from the noise… and further along the corridor.

"Ohh!" grimaced Eric as he watched the birds bolt down the corridor like a giant pink tidal wave of destruction, "Unlucky!"

Rolf poked his head out just in time to see the last flamingo rush by and looked suitably confused by the state of affairs.

"Nothing for it now!" said EJ, determinedly setting his jaw, "We're going to have to do this the hard way!"

He started off down the corridor after them with Eric hot on his heels. Rolf watched them run past him and gave a rather bemused look at the goings on, not that he shouldn't be used to it by now in this household. For a brief moment there was a flicker of hope when Abe appeared at the end of the corridor. EJ thought the other man might be able to turn the birds around but it was quickly dashed when the birds just continued their stampede, knocking the completely caught off guard police commissioner of Salem to the ground and running over the top of him.

"Sorry Abe!" called out EJ as he and Eric raced over the top of him as well, unable to stop in there pursuit of the birds.

Abe lay on the ground blinking a little dazedly and pulled a pink feather out of his mouth.

"What just happened there?" he asked in total confusion, he was only looking for the bathroom!

The birds erupted into the living room where John was talking to Caroline, Roman, Bo, Steve and Kayla along with several other people in the room including Daniel, Chelsea and Joseph. They all turned to stare in shock as the birds rushed into the room.

"Stop them!" called out EJ from behind them.

"What?" asked Bo in amazement as the birds ran past him, "How?"

"Take down the leader!" suggested Steve, "The others will follow!"

"Great idea Uncle Steve!" said Eric as he ran by, "And which one do you think is the leader exactly?!"

"The pink one!" he offered up unhelpfully with a grin, kind of enjoying the mayhem himself.

"Steve!" his wife urged him, "Go and help them!"

"Man," grumbled Steve, "If I had a dime for the number of times I had to do _this_ at a party…"

Despite his carry on though Steve was a man of action so the next time the birds ran by, knocking things over as they did he simply leapt on one of them and tackled it to the ground.

"Hang on Steve!" yelled out Kayla.

"I think that advice is a little unnecessary sweetness!" called out Steve as he clung to the unhappy bird, "But thanks anyway!"

"Oh my!" said Caroline, taken aback by all the action, especially when the other birds that weren't engaged in wrestling with Steve wheeled around and in their panicked state headed straight towards her.

EJ practically leapt across the room and got to Caroline first and swept her up in his arms and moved her out of harms way, just in the nick of time.

"Are you alright Caroline?" he asked anxiously when he'd deposited her back on the ground.

"Oh my," she repeated, looking a little dizzy from his quick actions, "Yes thank you EJ, I'm fine."

"Stay here," he instructed her urgently, moving her gently back into a little alcove that was set into the wall, "You'll be safe here, don't move okay?"

"Alright dear," nodded Caroline a little bemusedly.

Confident that she was safe EJ headed back into the fray as now Bo, Roman and John had joined in on the chase but it wasn't very organised so that all they managed to do was have the terrorised birds move destructively around the room, knocking over tables and ornaments as they did and just generally creating havoc.

"This isn't working!" called out Eric.

"You think?" asked EJ sarcastically, stopping in the chase and trying to think about this logically now.

Meanwhile Steve had managed to maintain hold of his bird and was staggering to his feet, the large bird protesting wildly, it's large beak snapping dangerously close to Steve's face.

"Be careful honey!" warned Kayla worriedly from the safety of the same alcove Caroline was occupying.

"More good advice sweetheart," noted Steve straight faced as he determinedly kept his face away from the snapping bird.

Unfortunately this meant he wasn't able to watch where he was going and the next thing he knew he'd stumbled over an upturned chair and lost hold of the hard won bird as he fell to the ground.

"Damn!" he said unhappily as he picked himself up and watched as his bird regained the rest of the charging flamingos.

"Well that's Plan C out the window," noted Eric to EJ, a little out of breath now as they tried to stop the birds from heading up the stairs, "Just as well there are 26 letters in the alphabet huh?"

EJ grimaced and feared he might be right. Suddenly John casting doubt on his sexual persuasion seemed like a happy memory in light of this new disaster. It seemed highly unlikely he was going to be able to keep this little turn of events from Samantha.

Damn… why hadn't they just all gone out to dinner for the twins birthday party?!

_But that was the thing about hindsight wasn't it… it was always twenty twenty._

**9:36pm A FRIEND IN NEED IS A FRIEND INDEED…**

"Is this a regular occurrence?" asked Daniel a little nervously of Chelsea as the stood to one side, the chaos began to unfold in earnest, "In your family I mean, do these kind of things happen often?"

"Define often," said Chelsea stoically.

"Quick!" called out John as he joined in the chase, "The flamboyance is getting away!"

"What does _that_ mean?" asked Chelsea in confusion.

"It's the collective noun for flamingos," supplied Daniel a little distractedly as he watched the group of disoriented birds wheel around as one and take off in to the foyer now.

"Wow, that's really gay," said Chelsea wrinkling up her nose.

"And how," said Joseph, suddenly appearing from behind them, "Even I think it's a little OTT and _I'm_ wearing make up."

He turned and smiled at the two of them.

"Hi," he said Joseph brightly, "Joseph Miller, friend of John's."

"Chelsea," she supplied with a little smile, "I'm Sami's half cousin and this is Daniel."

"Hi," said Daniel, shaking Joseph's hand while he still kept one eye on the action, "Nice to meet you Joseph."

"You too honey," said Joseph, returning his hand shake, "Oohh, strong hands."

"You know I think I should really help," said Daniel, still distracted by the ongoing antics of the birds, especially as one had separated from the pack and was now astride the dessert table.

"You do that sweetie," said Joseph with a nod, "We women folk will stay and get to know each other."

"Um… good to meet you," said Daniel, his eyes on the bird now leaping from table to table.

Daniel rushed off then and managed to get to a vase just in time, catching it before it shattered on the floor.

"Oohh," cooed Joseph appreciatively, "Very good hands."

"Back off Joe," said Chelsea, sending him a mock warning look, "He's spoken for."

"Thought as much," said Joseph with a little smirk, "But there's nothing wrong with a little healthy competition now is there."

"Joseph!" EJ called out from across the room as he attempted to corral the birds, "Close the French doors and don't let anyone back into the house! We're going to block off their escape routes so they have to go back the way they came!"

"Oh!" said Joseph excitedly, thrilled to be a part of the action, "Duty calls honey! Time to put my big boy pants on so if you'll excuse me Chelsea!"

Joseph scampered off and Chelsea watched him leave with a bemused smile on her face. Where did her cousin find these people?!

**9:39pm TWO BIRDS IN THE BUSH IS WORTH ONE PIECE OF HAM…**

Sami, Lexie, Marlena and Emily were all talking quietly together outside on the patio near the marquee along with many of the other guests enjoying the lovely clear evening. They all turned to stare though when Joseph suddenly bolted through the French doors, slamming them quickly shut behind him.

Joseph leant his elbow up against the door frame of the French doors and lounged, trying to obscure as much of their view of the goings on inside the house as he could and attempted to look casual but managing to look anything but.

"Joey?" said Emily suspiciously, "What are you up to my dear?"

"Nothing Em," he said, opening his eyes wide while maintaining the slightly odd stance, "There was just a… umm… breeze coming through the house which was a bit chilly so I decided to close the doors."

"But then aren't you on the wrong side of the door now?" asked Marlena in confusion.

"It wasn't me who was cold it was… was Daniel," he lied hastily, "Can you believe a man that butch looking is such a little girly man when it comes to a drop in temperature?"

"This sounds like a lie to me," said Emily, "What do you think ladies?"

"Oh yes," said Lexie with a definite nod, "Absolutely."

"Is there something wrong inside Joe?" asked Sami, suddenly worried as she tried to peer past him, "Has something happened?"

Sami squinted and thought she saw a flash of pink over Joseph's shoulder and then there was the sound of something breaking.

"What was that?" asked Sami, really worried now.

"It's just… um… everyone inside is… umm… playing ch…charades!" said Joseph, finally managing to think up a lie, "My guess that was the movie 'Crash'."

The women looked at each other, completely unconvinced at Joseph's attempts to explain away the noise. The sudden sound of a woman giving a startled scream cut through the air.

"Oh!" said Joseph brightly, still trying to carry the lie, "And that must 'Scream' - I just loved Neve Campbell in that - didn't you?"

The scream came again and Joseph, who could never be accused of being a quitter kept at it.

"And there's the sequel, 'Scream 2'," he said happily, "Hey, I'm great at this game!"

"What is going on inside my house Joe?" asked Sami advancing on him, intending on finding out for herself.

"Nothing sweetie!" said Joseph hastily, "You just enjoy your party - a girl doesn't turn 24 every day now does she? I remember my 24th…"

Nicole had wandered over when Joseph and appeared on the scene and had been listening in. Not one to stand on ceremony she decided to take matters into her own hands.

"Out of the way Short and Fruity," she demanded, pushing him to one side, "Let's see what's going on in there!"

Her timing couldn't have been worse unfortunately though as just then Eric and EJ had managed to get the birds heading towards the kitchen but as soon as they saw the opened doors they bolted towards that. Nicole ripped open the doors to see an avalanche of pink heading towards her.

"WHAT THE…!" she screamed and turned and ran back towards where Sami was standing by herself.

Sami stared, wide eyed at the amazing sight as Nicole bore down on her, complete with flamingo entourage.

"They're attacking!" yelled Nicole in horror.

"Well don't come this way!" shouted back Sami but it was too late and seeing as she had a wall on one side and nothing but tables and chairs blocking her escape route on the other side she had no choice but to follow suit and run.

Sami dashed down the side of the marquee, with Nicole hot on her heels and the panicked flamingos right after them. She was intending to head for some open space in the garden, figuring the birds would just disperse once they had some room around them. That might have been the case except they seemed to have decided that Nicole was their saviour for getting them out of the house and weren't going to lose track of their new leader now.

"Stop following me!" Nicole screamed back at them over her shoulder.

"Stop following ME!" yelled Sami as Nicole for some reason kept on her heels.

EJ and Eric emerged from the house then to see Sami, then Nicole and then the flamingos all running for their lives.

"Not good," winced EJ, immediately starting to chase after them.

"Man but there is a lot of running at this birthday party!" said Eric but quickly followed after EJ anyway.

The rest of the guests that had been under the marquee all started to follow the strange cavalcade as well down into the gardens. By this stage though Sami had come to the conclusion that this was ridiculous. They couldn't run forever… especially not in these heels! She came to an abrupt halt in front of the large water feature from the 'Smokey incident' and turned round, opening her mouth to say as much but didn't get the chance. Nicole hadn't noticed her stopping because she was looking back over her shoulder to see how close the birds were so she barrelled right into Sami at full pelt.

Sami screamed as Nicole collided with her at great speed, the impact knocking them both backwards into the water feature. On seeing this EJ just ran faster, grimacing to himself. This was not going to go down as the best birthday party Samantha had ever had now!

"Samantha!" he called out in concern, immediately clambering into the water after her, "Are you alright?!"

He grabbed her around the waist and hauled her to her feet, managing to get completely soaked as he did.

"Sweetheart!" he said urgently, holding her at arms length and looking at her worriedly as she still looked kind of dazed, "Are you hurt?"

"N… no," she managed unevenly, shaking the water out of her eyes, "I'm alright… I think."

Eric on the other hand had a completely different reaction to that of EJ's concern, coming to a stop beside the pond and staring at the sight of the two women scrabbling about in it's water and EJ trying to desperately fish out Sami and just dissolved into laughter. He laughed so hard he cried in fact, grabbing his sides because it was that painful. The flamingos by this stage had stopped running and were just standing idly around, still looking a bit confused by it all.

"I'm fine too if anyone's wondering!" snapped Nicole's unimpressed voice from behind the two of them.

Eric had finally managed to compose himself a little and walked over to where Nicole was still floundering a little in the pond water, her expensive Italian shoes not really designed for such conditions.

"Well look at that," he said mockingly, "I always kind of figured you'd melt if you got wet!"

"Just shut up and help me out!" snapped Nicole and Eric grinned, doing as she asked.

EJ had already helped Sami out of the water and put his arm around her shoulders offering her some body warmth as she began to shake a little even though the night wasn't very cold.

"Sami honey!" said Roman, arriving on the scene now and coming up to her, "Are you alright?"

"Yes Dad," she said a little shakily, "But what were the flamingos doing in the house? What happened?"

"Smokey tricked EJ and I," said Eric, still helping Nicole out as she squawked and complained bitterly.

"No he did not!" said EJ sharply, "That is ridiculous Eric - he's a peacock!"

"I'm telling you," said Eric firmly, "That bird lured us out there so the flamingos could get in the house."

"So what?" asked EJ with a quirk of his lips, "Smokey is a gang leader now - a criminal mastermind orchestrating smash and grabs?"

Eric made a sweeping gesture back at the house and pulled a face.

"I give you exhibit A councillor," he said straight faced.

"He really is Satan," said Sami weakly.

"Your brother is being ridiculous Samantha," EJ dismissed her concerns easily.

"You know I don't mean to be the cold voice of reason here," said Bo as everyone started to calm down and pick themselves up from where they'd scattered, "But Sami… didn't you say that John gave you six flamingos?"

"Yes," said Sami unhappily, still flicking water from her eyes as her wet hair dripped everywhere.

"Well I only count five out here," continued on Bo.

"Maybe only five went into the house," suggested Roman.

"Oh no," said Eric, "There was definitely six - I'm sure of it."

"So where's lucky number six then?" asked Bo.

Every person listening turned as one and looked back at the house silently.

"Alright then," said EJ, ever ready to take charge, "Cleary we still have one flamingo in the house. A couple of us will just go in there and find it and shoo it back out. If we can get five out then one should be no problem."

Everyone thought that was a good idea and EJ, Eric, Bo, Roman and Abe all headed back into the house, leaving the others to pick through the debris of the party for their belongings and whatever else they could salvage. Nicole had grabbed the nearest champagne bottle and not being able to find a glass had just started drinking straight from the bottle.

"Classy," said Sami sarcastically as she wrung the water from her skirt, seeing her sitting there, swinging away happily.

"It keeps me warm," she said flatly, taking off her shoes and emptying the water from them, "And don't you give me any trouble. I could sue you for what happened here tonight - I could have been killed!"

"Tell you what Nicole," Sami smirked, "Why don't you get your lawyer to give us a call."

Nicole screwed up her face as she realised the problem with that.

"Crap!" she said unhappily and took another mouthful of alcohol.

**9:44pm GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT BALLS OF FIRE…**

People were starting to drift back into the house now until there was only Steve left out there. He turned ready to head back in himself when he saw a peacock with only half of it's tail feathers standing there.

"Hey," he greeted it and it just looked back at him unblinking, "Hell of a night huh?"

Smokey didn't seem in the mood for a chat and just started to walk amongst the debris, picking at this and that he found on the floor. Steve was going to leave him to it when he noticed it walk through some of the fairy lights that had dropped to the ground and start dragging it along. The string of little lights began to pull free from the tree it was draped over and knock over glasses that were on the food table because it was still seemingly attached to Smokey. Smokey just kept on walking, dragging an ever growing line of destruction behind him and Steve decided he should intervene.

Before he could get there though the fairy light string hit a lit candle piece centre piece that then tipped over onto it's side, igniting the flower arrangement beside it. The centre piece went up quickly and some sparks came off it and hit the marquee which quickly began to smoke and then a patch promptly went up in flames.

_Uh oh._

Steve quickly grabbed the punch bowl and prayed there wasn't as much alcohol as he thought in it and threw it on the ever growing flames. Smokey meanwhile, his work here done, wandered off into the night to find a comfortable roost for the night… or the bowels of hell… depending on who's side you were taking with that one.

**9:48pm THE EAGLE HAS LANDED… **

A rather extensive search of downstairs failed to discover the erstwhile bird and other people were drifting in now to see if they could help.

"It must have gone upstairs," said EJ with a shrug, "There is nowhere else it could be."

Sami walked in then to see EJ walking up the stairs, thinking he was going to check on the twins she went to join him and see about getting some dry clothes to put on. They walked up the stairs together.

"So where was the last bird?" she asked him casually, glad the drama was over now.

"Don't know sweetheart," he said calmly, "Still looking."

"What?!" she gasped, grabbing his arm and making him stop at the top of the stairs.

"Can you see it?" called out Eric from the bottom of the stairs.

"EJ!" panicked Sami, "The twins!"

"It's alright sweetheart," he soothed her, "Even if he did manage to find his way up here, he's a flamingo, he can't open doors."

"No opposable thumbs," agreed Eric helpfully from below and waggled his to demonstrate and Sami was unamused by his flippancy.

Just then the flamingo rounded the corner from the hallway on the second floor and came to a dead halt as Sami, EJ and the flamingo all met on the top landing of the stair case. They all three stared at each other.

"Don't make any sudden movements," said EJ in a low voice to Sami, "We don't want to chase him deeper into the house."

"EJ!" called out Roman from the foyer, "Get behind it and then just shoo it back down the stairs, we'll take if from there."

The hapless bird was really panicking now and was feeling decidedly ganged up on so it did the one thing it could in the circumstances - it tried to fly over the stair case railing to make good it's escape. Unfortunately it didn't get very far with it's wings being clipped so it didn't so much soar as plummet. However because it already had the height advantage of being on the top tier of the stairs it managed a fair amount of air and on it's way down, in some magnificent manoeuvre of impossibility it managed to latch onto the large chandelier that hung high up in the foyer of the DiMera mansion with it's impressive beak.

Every one just stopped what they were doing and stared, wide eyed at the sight of the large, pink bird, hanging by it's beak from a chandelier, the chandelier swaying gracefully from side to side as it did.

"Now _there's_ something you don't see every day!" announced Joseph, vocalising the awe that everyone was feeling at that moment.

"I've seen a lot of things in my life," agreed Emily sagely who was standing next to him as everyone stood mesmerised, moving their heads back and forth with the majestic swinging of the flamingo adorned chandelier, "But this is a _definite_ first."

"EJ!" squeaked Sami, her eyes still fixed to the pendulous flamingo, "What are we going to do?!"

"I'm thinking," he said distractedly, just as transfixed as everyone else, tracking the flamingos strangely lulling movements.

"Think faster!" urged Sami desperately.

"Well I don't think it can hold on for more than a minute," said EJ vaguely, still fascinated by the, hopefully, once in a life time sight.

"I'll take that bet!" announced John, holding up his arm and clicking the stop watch function on his watch to start timing, "One hundred bucks says it can last eight minutes - look at that beak - it was made for this kind of thing!"

"I find that highly doubtful that is was made for _this_ kind of thing," muttered EJ, still unable to tear his eyes away from the strange tableau before him.

"Four minutes ten zecondz!" chimed in Rolf, seeming to have recovered from the wasabi assassination attempt, "Zat beak may be powerful but look at zey scrawny neck on it - four minutes ten zecondz!"

"Six minutes!" chimed in Lexie cheekily which earned her a disapproving scowl from Abe but she just grinned up at him unconcerned by his censure - this was a party after all.

"Three minutes thirty seconds for me!" called out Nicole, "I'm with Lurch here - that thing doesn't have the strength to hold on for that long."

"Well you'd certainly be the expert on grasping on to things and not letting go wouldn't you Nicole?" asked Eric sweetly from where he was standing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Bite me Eric," she snapped.

Joseph looked with interest at Emily and Emily leaned over and filled him in on the history.

"They used to date but then she dumped him to marry this other guy," Emily informed him in a low voice as they leaned together in a conspiratorial fashion, still watching the swinging flamingo, "They guys mother paid her five million dollars to do it."

"No way!" gasped Joseph in scandalised delight.

"It gets better," said Emily with a smile, amused by his enthusiasm, "The guy… just happens to be Sami's ex-husband."

Joseph gasped dramatically and grabbed his chest, as though he was getting chest pain for the headiness of it all.

"I _frickin_' love this family!" announced Joseph, almost giddy with the tawdry delight of such juicy titbits of information.

"Yes," agreed Emily calmly, "I frickin' love this family too."

While Emily was bringing Joseph up to speed other people had joined in on the bidding for the fate of the hapless bird. Steve walked back into the room to let people know about the goings on outside when he too became captivated by the sight of the dangling flamingo.

"Sweetness?" he said, coming to stand by Kayla, "I've only got one good eye so I'm just checking - is there a flamingo hanging from that big old light up there?"

"Yes," said Kayla weakly.

"Hm," said Steve, seemingly unfazed by this new development, "Say what you will about them but those DiMera's, they really know how to throw a party."

Meanwhile Sami was becoming increasingly concerned that no one was doing anything… other than betting on the poor birds fate of course.

"Eric!" called out Sami, desperate now seeing as EJ wasn't being overly helpful, "Don't just sit there - do something!"

"Okay," said Eric happily and then to John, "Put me down for seven minutes twenty seconds Rolf, this bad boys in it for the long haul!"

"Eric!" growled Sami in frustration, "That is _not_ what I meant!"

"Well you weren't very specific so I just went with my gut on it," he said with a little shrug, "What are you gonna do?"

"I'm going to kill you, that's what!" Sami told him in annoyance.

"I don't think that there is anyway to get the bird down until he is ready to do so of it's own accord," said EJ, having been quietly thinking about the problem as the twins bantered back and forth, "But to make sure that it doesn't hurt itself when it does let go I think a couple of us should stand under it with a sheet and break it's fall."

There was a general murmur of consensus for the plan, even while everyone still stood there, riveted to the sight of the flamingo/chandelier piñata thing that was going on. EJ walked down the stairs to go and find a tablecloth to do the job, thinking the caterers, the ones that hadn't run screaming to the hills fearing for their life that is, might have some spare.

"I'll get a table cloth," John pre-empted him, still keeping an eye on the bird so that he wouldn't miss it when it did drop and be able to stop the clock.

John walked over the only table that still was intact, with all of the wine glasses, fine china, flower centre piece and cutlery sitting on it and picked up one end of it. EJ's eyes widened what he saw what his uncle intended - hadn't their been enough rampant destruction for one day?!

"Uncle John NO!" EJ cried out, holding out a hand but he was standing in the foyer and John was in the living room so he had no chance.

EJ grimaced, bracing himself for the sound of breaking glass and china all over again as John just gave one powerful tug on the white linen sheet and tugged it effortlessly out from underneath everything that sat on it. EJ's jaw dropped as looked at John standing there, table cloth in hand and the table setting still perfectly in place, one lone glass vibrating ever so slightly before regaining it's equilibrium.

"How did you do that?" asked EJ in complete awe, meanwhile everyone around him had broken in to applause for the amazing feat - you couldn't have gotten better at Vegas!

"Do what?" asked John blankly.

EJ shook his head, he'd quiz his uncle another time, he had more pressing matters right then - like gravity taking it's effect on the pink, feathery piñata in the foyer.

"I can't hold the other end," said John, "I'm time keeper - Rolf!"

"Very vell," sighed the long suffering man.

Rolf went to cross over from where he was standing by the front door to where EJ now had a hold of the table cloth. This meant he passed directly under the suspended giant bird to do so. And because Rolf was not a lucky man when it came to giant birds… the inevitable happened. The flamingos strength finally gave way or maybe he just preferred the idea of landing on something and didn't have much faith in the table cloth plan but whatever the reason, he let go.

"OOHHH!"

The entire room gave a collective gasp when the bird began to fall.

"AAAHHH!"

Followed by a collective in take of breath as it landed directly on Rolf's head, instantly flattening the unfortunate man. The bird seemed a little stunned - not as stunned of course as Rolf who was lying on his back with a flamingo on his face. The bird scrambled to it's feet, using Rolf's face for traction and stood up, ruffling it's feathers indignantly. It drew itself up to it's full height and then with quiet dignity walked out through the foyer, into the living room and out the French doors to rejoin the rest of its' flamboyance, everyone silently parting to let it get by as he did.

"Okay I want to revise my earlier statement," said Joseph in awe, "Now _that's_ something you don't see every day!"

"Oh my god!" exclaimed John, "Is he hurt do you think?"

"I don't zink it's too bad," said Rolf weakly from where he was still lying on the ground.

"Not you," frowned John, "Pinky there - I didn't _pay_ for you!"

"John!" chided Marlena yet again but Lexie was already moving in to check on Rolf.

"Seven minutes twenty-eight seconds," announced John, ignoring Rolf's groans from the floor.

"Yes!" crowed Eric, jumping to his feet and punching the air with both hands, "Birthday Boy!!!"

"Don't get too excited there Birthday Boy," said Roman with a little arch of his eyebrow at his son, "There are laws against this you know."

"Seriously?" asked John, looking a little amazed, "There are laws against _this_…"

John made a sweeping gesture between chandelier, Rolf and the flurry of pink feathers that were still floating around.

"Seriously??" repeated John.

"Against gambling," said Roman dryly, "There are laws about gambling with out a licence."

"And where might one pick up a licence to gamble on Flamingo vs Chandelier events?" asked John straight faced.

"You can't John," said Roman flatly, "No money exchanges hands… sorry Eric, that's the law."

"Easy come, easy go I suppose," sighed Eric.

"I am _so_ the fun Dad," smirked John at this turn of events.

The sound of a fire trucks wail suddenly cut through the air and it seemed to be getting closer.

"Oh yeah," announced Steve casually, the sound reminding him, "The marquee's on fire - I called the fire department."

"Steve!" said Kayla in horror, "How could you not mention something like that before now?!"

"Baby there was a _flamingo_ hanging from a _chandelier_!" reminded her wide eyed, "That pretty much trumps anything else in the 'hey guess what?" stakes if you ask me!"

And everyone had to agree… that was pretty hard to argue with.

**10:13pm SEX, DRUGS AND ROCK N ROLL…**

"Thank you so much for your quick response time," said EJ with a calm smile at the fireman who had reported back to him when the last of the little fires were out, "We really appreciate it."

"That's fine sir," replied the man who's name was Jerry, "There isn't too much damage, the guy who called us seemed to have put the worst of it out although that marquee will need replacing."

"Yes," said EJ ruefully, "I'm expecting a rather big damage bill from the caterers so we'll just add that to the list eh?"

"And did you know that you've got several large birds in your garden?" asked Jerry, looking a little taken a back, "They look like peacocks and flamingos to me."

"Well you have an excellent eye," said Joseph, suddenly appearing at EJ's elbow and giving the burly and handsome fireman a big smile, "And I bet that's not all that's great about you."

Joseph gave Jerry a coy look at the last and Jerry looked kind of confused now. When the firemen had all trooped through the door that had made if official for Joseph… he'd died and was in a party in heaven - he was sure of it! There was scandal, gossip and cat fights. There was rampaging birds running amok all over the place and creating a delicious chaos. EJ was standing next to him wet and his clothes were clinging to every tight, muscled inch of him and now… to make a perfect night even more perfect… he was surrounded by buff fireman being all manly and take charge.

He was in a man buffet of delight!

Jerry looked around at the carnage and the various guests in differing states of disarray and shook his head. He'd heard about these kind of parties put on by rich folk, where anything goes, he'd just never seen one before.

"Sir," said Jerry, his voice kind of hard, "I'm not sure what started all this…"

"Smokey," threw out Eric as he walked by with his grandmother on his arm, helping her find her coat.

EJ sent him an exasperated look at that, unable to logically accept that a peacock could have orchestrated this whole fiasco.

"Look whatever you people were 'smoking' or 'snorting' or whatever," said Jerry, his suspicions confirmed now, "This could have gone a lot worse…"

"There are no drugs at this party," said EJ quickly, seeing what the other man was thinking.

"Although this was quite the trip," said Joseph brightly.

"Okay, It's like this," said Jerry after giving Joseph an uncertain look, "Whatever kind of party this was… drugs… sex…"

"Whoa!" said EJ in horror, "It was definitely not one of _those_ kind of parties!"

"Although there was a fair amount of swinging going on," said Joseph cheekily, unable to help himself.

EJ didn't even bother to look at him, just put his arm around Joseph's shoulder and clamped a firm hand over the other man's mouth.

"I can assure you that this was a perfectly respectable birthday party for my wife and twin brother Officer," said EJ evenly, even as he stood there with his hand over Joseph's mouth, "We even have the Police Commissioner in attendance along with a sizeable chunk of the Salem PD as well as some community leaders. I can tell you now that this party was completely above board."

Jerry looked around himself and looked back at EJ, his scepticism obvious.

"Sure it was," he said flatly, "I can't tell you the number of call outs we get that are exactly like this."

"Thank you for your help Officer," said EJ sweetly, giving up as it was obvious that the man wasn't buying what he was selling.

Jerry shook his head and walked off and EJ looked down at Joseph, finally taking his hand off his mouth. He looked down at his palm and back at Joseph.

"Were you just licking my hand then?" he asked him dryly.

"A little," said Joseph impishly, winking at him, "Like it?"

"Joseph," sighed EJ with a rueful smile, "There have been way too many firsts for me tonight to be adding yet another thing to the list."

"So does that mean I should check back at a later date?" asked Joseph hopefully, waggling his eyebrows at EJ rather comically.

"Are you hitting on my husband Joe?" Sami demanded to know, catching the end of that conversation and slapping his arm as she came up behind Joseph to stand beside EJ, putting an arm around his waist.

"A little," admitted Joseph with a grin.

"Bad party guest!" she admonished him and tried to look mad but it was pretty hard around Joseph, besides, she was just happy all the birds were out of the house now, "Emily, keep Joseph under control will you?"

"He's quite the handful isn't he?" asked Emily with a light laugh, coming to stand beside Joseph now and linking her arm with his.

"And then some!" said Joseph attempting a sultry look which just ended up making everyone laugh to which he joined in.

**10:31pm** **ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END…**

EJ, Sami and Eric were standing at the door, saying their goodbyes to all of their guests. John had been relegated to the sitting room where it was all agreed he could do little more damage.

"Thanks for coming Dad," said Sami, hugging her father and then giving him a rueful look, "Sorry about… well, you know."

"It wasn't your fault honey," said Roman and sent a quick dark look at EJ, "And you know, if you ever feel like a break from all of…"

Roman made a vague gesture at the aftermath of crazy all around them.

"… this," he continued on, "You know you and the twins are always welcome at my house."

EJ grimaced, pretty sure that he was being included in the 'all of this' statement there but kept himself determinedly polite.

"Roman," he said, not offering the man his hand because he was pretty confident it wouldn't be taken.

"EJ," said Roman flatly.

"Hey Dad," said Eric brightly, giving him a hug now, "I'll come by tomorrow and we can hang out… okay?"

"Sounds like a plan," smiled Roman, "Happy birthday you two."

"Thanks," Sami and Eric chorused together.

Next was Caroline.

"Well there goes my ride so I'd better be going," she smiled up at them all, "I had a wonderful time tonight!"

"Really Grandma?" said Sami sceptically.

"Oh yes," laughed Caroline, "Most fun I've had in ages I have to say. Your Grandpa Shawn would have loved it!"

"He would have been right in there chasing down the flamingos," grinned Eric, picturing it.

"That he would have," smiled Caroline a little wistfully.

The twins both hugged her at the same time.

"Love you Grandma," they both told her.

"I love you too," she said, cupping each of their cheeks and smiling tenderly up at them.

She looked over their shoulder at where EJ was standing and held out her arms to him.

"Come here you," she said with a little laugh, "I have to say goodnight to my protector."

EJ grinned and took a step towards her, having to almost bend in half to return the diminutive woman's hug which he did. She pulled back a little and put her hands on the tops of his arms.

"Thank you EJ," she told him affectionately, "For looking after me tonight and for loving my granddaughter so much."

"Both things are my great joy to do so," he told her warmly, straightening up and taking her hand and kissing the back of it, "Goodnight Caroline."

"Goodnight," she smiled up at him and then included the others, "Now you're all to come and see me very soon, with the little twins do you hear me? Eric, you are not to leave town without coming to dinner at least once!"

"Grandma," said Eric with a big grin, "You couldn't keep me away from your home cooking. I'll be there!"

Bo and Hope were next, still looking a little shell shocked.

"Well… it was memorable," said Hope with a little dazed smile.

"And then some," agreed Bo ruefully, nodding his head.

"Thanks you for coming," said Sami quickly, "And thanks for helping out with the situation Uncle Bo."

"Is that what we're going to be calling it?" he teased his niece with a grin.

"Unless you can come up with something better," laughed Eric.

Lexie and Abe were in line next and EJ got in first.

"Sorry about that whole being trampled by a flamboyance of flamingos there Abe," said EJ with a little grimace, "No hard feelings I hope?"

"No," said Abe slowly, "But can you do me a favour EJ?"

"Of course," said EJ expectantly, "Anything."

"We'll just never speak of it again okay?" said Abe firmly.

"Absolutely," said EJ quickly, "Goes without saying."

"EJ, always fun," Lexie smiled at him and went up on her toes to give him a good night kiss on the cheek, whispering in his ear as she did, "I want graphic details of what that looked like at our next lunch together - you understand little brother?"

"Absolutely," said EJ evenly, not letting on what she'd just said to him to anyone else.

Lexie hugged the twins then and she and Abe left. Several more party goers made their final goodbyes and EJ, Sami and Eric oscillated between thanking them and apologising.

"Great party man," said Steve straight faced as he and Kayla left, "Particularly enjoyed the party games. Can't wait for the wedding."

"Steve," chided Kayla, seeing Sami suddenly worried face and smiling reassuringly at her niece, "It's going to be alright Sami. I mean, what are the odds against something like this ever happening again?"

"Right," smiled Sami weakly, knowing her aunt was just trying to be comforting but she didn't know what it was to live in this crazy house.

"And if it does we'll all know what to do next time," said Steve brightly.

Kayla just shook her head at her husband and ushered him out the door. Emily and Joseph walked up to them next and Joseph looked between the three of them and seemed to be finding it hard to find the words so instead he just dramatically threw his arms around all three of them at once in a giant bear hug. He let them go finally and stood there as they all regarded him with varying degrees of amusement. Joseph opened his mouth, clearly trying to speak but shook his head, words failing him again so he just silently repeated the hug, much to Emily's amusement. At last he released them and took a deep calming breath, attempting to find the words.

"This party…" he began, his voice low and trembling with deep emotion, "This party was akin to a religious experience for me! I could die tonight and know I've lived a full and complete life after this party!

"Well you'll have to come to the wedding in that case," said Sami ruefully, amused despite herself about his obvious enthusiasm about the goings on at the party.

Joseph made a choked gasping noise as though all of his Christmas' had come at once pulled Sami into a solo bear hug now, causing her to squeak in surprise at his sudden action.

"I love you!" he announced dramatically still hugging her, starting to tear up a little now, "And I want to have your babies!"

The other three people started to laugh now at Josephs theatrics and Sami probably would have too if she could breath.

"Alright, alright," said EJ in amusement, removing Sami from his grasp when it seemed clear that he was so overwhelmed that he was forgetting to let her go, "The only babies Samantha will be having are mine Joseph and vice versa so how about you just get us a toaster or something like that instead."

"Okay," said Joseph, a little teary now from all the emotion of it all, "So how about a hug from the birthday boy now?"

"Sure," laughed Eric, having grown quite fond of Joseph in a short amount of time - turned out herding flamingos together was quite the bonding experience.

Joseph grabbed him in a tight hug and didn't seem to be in a hurry to let him go either.

"Ah Joe?" said Eric in amusement after a minute, "Are your hands on my ass?"

"A little," smiled Joseph happily.

"Unhand the boy you big old man whore," laughed Emily, with a shake of her head.

"You do like to spread it around Joe," said Sami with a roll of her eyes, "First my husband, now my brother… who's next, EJ's brother?"

"That's right!" exclaimed Joseph excitedly, "You have an older brother - will he be at the wedding?"

"Tony and his _wife_ Anna will be," confirmed EJ with a smile.

"I can't wait!" said Joseph, jumping up and down a little in excitement, "Okay then, I suppose we should be going but first how about a cuddle from the host with the most?"

"Fine," said EJ, trying not to laugh, "Just keep it above the waist okay?"

EJ bent down and returned the enthusiastic hug of the smaller man and had to smile as did everyone watching.

"Happy Birthday Sami," said Emily while this was going on and giving her a hug and a kiss, "I had a simply wonderful time. Thank you so much for inviting me."

"Thank you for coming Emily," said Sami with a sigh, returning the older woman's hug warmly, "I'm so glad you were here."

"You two could throw a Frisbee and I'd be there," she said in quiet amusement, "Never a dull moment I have to say."

"Eric," she said, turning her attention to the younger man, "It was so lovely to meet you and a very happy birthday to you too. I do hope that I will be getting to know you much better in the near future."

"Me too," smiled Eric, who taken an instant liking to the feisty little woman, "Tell you what, how about you and I sit together at the wedding? I can dish all the dirt on my little sister in between courses."

"Like hell!" said Sami in horror which only made the other two laugh at her.

All this time Joseph had still been hugging EJ although EJ had attempted to end it a little time ago, dropping his arms and straightening up. Joseph it turned out was a little harder to convince that the hug was over because he still had his arms around EJ's neck and due to their height differences Joseph's feet were no longer on the ground because of it. So EJ was standing there, his arms down at his sides as Joseph hung off him, a resigned look on his face.

"Joey," said Emily, admonishing the younger man, "You look like a giant necklace. Hop off the poor boy and let him be!"

Joseph gave a regretful sigh and loosened his grip, his feet landing back on the floor at that.

"Come on you," she said, taking Joseph's arm, "Home to bed with you - you've had enough excitement for one night."

"Bye," said Joseph, reluctantly letting Emily lead him away, looking back over his shoulder wistfully at the others.

EJ, Sami and Eric waved their goodbyes to the two of them and then looked at each other for a long moment before bursting into loud laughter all at once - it was either that or cry.

**10:48pm THERE'S A KIND OF HUSH, ALL OVER THE WORLD…**

John walked into the living room now that all of the guests were gone to find the rest of his family sitting or slumped in various chairs around the place and surveyed the carnage with interest.

"Now _that_…" he announced, sounding very happy, "… was a party!"

"_That_ was a blood bath!" corrected Sami heatedly, "Oh my god! What was I thinking have the wedding here? It's going to be a disaster! Our wedding is doomed EJ, doomed!"

"Our wedding is not doomed," laughed EJ at her dramatics, "I look on this simply as a dress rehearsal and you know what they say about a bad dress rehearsal ensures a good opening night eh darling? It will be fine."

"There were flamingos in the punch bowl EJ!" she reminded him loudly, "Flamingos!"

"A little bit of colour and movement," shrugged EJ, trying to reassure her, "I mean, no one got hurt."

Rolf staggered out of the kitchen pressing a napkin to his head where blood was oozing from a wound.

"_Almost_ no one got hurt," EJ corrected himself with missing a beat.

"Are you alright Rolf?" asked Sami with a sympathetic grimace.

"I need to go to za hospital," the older man groaned.

"What again?" asked John in annoyance, "This is getting old pretty quick Rolf."

"John!" Sami chided him, "Don't be so mean, Rolf's hurt. You need to take him to the hospital - they were you're flamingos after all!"

"Correction," said John calmly, "They are _your_ flamingos Samantha."

Sami opened her mouth to argue the point but it was kind of hard considering he was right… technically. If only John had given her pink diamonds instead none of this would have happened!

"John," said Marlena calmly, "Just drive Rolf to the hospital would you… for me?"

John obviously found that a compelling argument because he gave in.

"Fine," he said, still pretty unhappy about it though, "Go and get your coat Rolf."

As they all sat there, waiting for Rolf to return, EJ looked around the complete shambles that used to be their living room.

"All things considered," he commented calmly, "It could have been worse."

The others surveyed the carnage as well and then they all nodded in silent agreement.

_Such was life in the DiMera mansion._


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter TWENTY THREE**

**11:13pm ALONE AT LAST…**

EJ was in the bedroom, waiting for Sami to join him in bed, starting to wind down after the nights excitement. He walked over to one the bed and pulled up one end of the mattress and removed a little black box from it. He'd had to resort to hiding his gifts from Sami before her birthday because he'd caught her on more than one occasion riffling through his sock drawers and coat pockets obviously trying to find what he'd gotten her. She'd been a bit sheepish about it when he'd catch her out but she hadn't stopped. The only way he'd managed to keep the necklace and earrings a secret was by stashing them at his office and then bringing them home the night before and putting it in the highest self of the kitchen cupboard that he was pretty sure she didn't even know existed because she was so short. Sami emerged from the bathroom just as he pocketed the box into his pyjama bottoms and he had to laugh at what he saw.

"Don't you think you might be a little over dress for bed darling?" he asked her in amusement as he looked at the diamond earrings and necklace that she was still wearing with her pink pyjama pants suit.

"Oh poo," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand, "You're always saying that."

"That's true," he said with a grin, "But this time I was referring to the jewellery sweetheart."

"I am _never_ taking these off!" she announced dramatically, "I want to be buried in them!"

Sami turned and admired her reflection in the mirror, enjoying the way the diamonds sparkled and caught the light, even in the low light of their bedroom. EJ just watched her and gave an affectionate shake of his head – she certainly did enjoy those shiny things alright. He walked up behind her and stood very close, bending down and pressing a kiss to the little bit of exposed skin where her neck joined her shoulder and then he rested his head on her shoulder. Sami smiled to see how cute he looked doing that.

"Tired honey?" she asked him with a little smile.

"Mm," he murmured against her skin, not lifting his head, "It turns out that running down rampaging flamingos and rescuing damsels in distress from ponds is quite exhausting."

"Who knew?" she teased him, her smile widening.

EJ lifted his head then and rested his chin on her shoulder, capturing her gaze in the mirror as he still stood behind her.

"You alright after your impromptu little dip sweetheart?" he asked her with gentle concern.

"I'm fine," she said easily, "And there was an upside to it all."

"There was?" asked EJ in consternation, "And what might that be – your brother almost wetting himself with laughter perhaps? Eric certainly seemed to find the whole thing pretty funny."

"And for that he will pay and pay dearly," said Sami, her expression suddenly menacing as she contemplated ways to make him pay for his public display of enjoyment at her expense.

"So what's the upside then?" asked EJ with a little smile, knowing that look and being pretty glad that he wasn't in Eric's shoes right then.

"That Nicole went in with me," she smirked, "She looked like a drowned rat."

Sami turned her head and looked at EJ in sudden concern.

"I didn't look like a drowned rat at my own birthday party did I?" she asked, suddenly worried.

"You looked like an incredibly fetching water sprite my love," he told her with a little laugh at her sudden vanity, "And if we didn't have an audience I would have had to whisk you off to have my evil way with you."

"I thought you were tired?" she giggled as he began to press more kisses along her neck and then his tongue was tracing the delicate outline of her ear.

EJ pressed himself against her from behind, his arms wrapping around her waist and tightened his hold on her and she could feel all of his hard length against her back now as she tilted her head and granted him ready access to her neck.

"Tired sweetheart," he whispered in her ear, making her give a little shudder, "Not dead."

"So is that something in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" she teased him with a laugh as she felt his growing hardness against her bottom.

"Oh!" he said a little taken aback as she'd distracted him so, "It's something in my pocket."

He loosened his hold on her and taking a step back. Sami turned round and her eyes dropped to the definite bulge in his crotch area and arched a disbelieving eyebrow at him.

"And I'm happy to see you," he said ruefully as he stuck his hand in his pocket, "I have one last little thing for you."

"Oh EJ," she sighed, her eyes lighting up at the prospect of more gifts which just made him love her more, "You've already given me too much. These earrings and necklace must have cost a small fortune!"

"Mm," he nodded looking very serious, "I suppose you have a point. You know, Christmas is almost upon us. Why don't you give me the necklace back and I'll just return it to you then?"

EJ made teasing move to take the necklace from around her neck but Sami made a rather scary hissing noise and slapped his hand away even as her other hand went to protect her necklace.

"Ow!" protested EJ, shaking his hand as she'd really let him have it, "Well seeing as I'm not hearing a lot of support for that idea then maybe you should keep it."

"You bet I am!" huffed Sami, folding her arms in front of her chest and fixing him with a determined glare but the corners of her mouth were curling up a little as she did it, "You can take these back from my cold, dead hands mister… my cold, dead hands!"

"Well hopefully it won't come to that eh Samantha?" he laughed, finding her to be unbearably cute when she was like this.

"So what did you get me?" she asked curiously, fidgeting a bit with the excitement of it all.

"You know maybe I should wait until the morning," said EJ straight faced, "I mean it's getting late and the twins will be up early because rather amazingly they slept through the whole debacle tonight and…"

Sami couldn't stand his ramblings any longer even though she knew he was teasing her, she was just too excited to see what he had gotten for her.

"Gimme, gimme, gimme!" she demanded of him, jumping up and down now and making EJ burst out in laughter at her shameless display.

"I see I'll be the one teaching our children not to put stock in the material things of this world eh sweetheart?" he chided her around her laughter.

"Stop teasing me and give me my present EJ!" she said slapping his arm and trying to scowl at him.

"I think you're going to have to ask a lot nicer than that sweetheart," he tutted regretfully.

Sami looked him up and down then, pursing her lips and fixing him with a considered gaze. She stepped closer, pressing herself up against him, fitting all of her soft curves against his hard, angular lines. Sami put a hand on stomach, giving a satisfied smile as she felt his stomach muscles involuntarily clench at the light touch, revelling in the power she had over him. She went up on tip toes then, tilting her head right back as she did, her eyes on his lips. EJ dropped his head, preparing to meet her half way as his hands went to her hips and his eye lids drooped as he felt the familiar thrill at the thought of being able to kiss her again. Her lips had just brushed against his in the barest of kisses when he suddenly felt her hand in his pocket and then the box he'd been keeping in there being quickly yanked out as she twisted out of his grasp and held it above her head triumphantly.

"You are _so_ easy EJ DiMera!" she crowed at him, "One little kiss and you are anyone's!"

"Correction sweetheart," he said with a rueful shake of his head at his wife's cunnings way, "One little kiss from _you_ and I'm _yours_."

"Whatever!" she scoffed, more interested in the contents of the box then his sentiments right now.

Sami held it up to her ear and gave it a little shake, hearing a rather pleasing metal clinking noise.

"So you got the present," said EJ, nodding to himself, seemingly resigned to the situation.

"Yes I did!" she said happily, very pleased at outsmarting him.

"But the real question is can you keep it sweetheart?" he asked her seriously and then he made a sudden lunge for her.

Sami squealed and just missed being caught and she bolted to the other side of the room, shaking her head at him and beginning to giggle as he advanced on her menacingly.

"Don't you dare EJ DiMera!" she warned him as he made another grab for the box but again, she just managed to stay out of his grasp and now she made a made dash for the bed.

"Stay right there!" she threatened him around her laugher as she stood on the bed now and waved an imperious finger at him, "Give it up EJ, I'm just too fast for you!"

"I've had a lot of practice chasing down pink things tonight," he told her, tongue in cheek, "So you are in all sorts of trouble young lady!"

Sami leapt off the bed as EJ leapt onto it and she just ran like a mad woman for the door with EJ hard on her heels.

"You are just making this a whole lot worse for yourself Samantha DiMera!" he threatened her around his own laughter.

Sami was in the hall now and heading for the twins room, figuring it was going to be akin to sanctuary because he wouldn't want to make a scene in there and risk waking the children. EJ ran into the room to find Sami standing between the cots of the fast asleep babies, grinning triumphantly at him like some kind of loon. EJ shook his head at her and called her bluff. In two quick steps he'd covered the distance between them and simply thrown her over his shoulder. Sami gave a surprised gasp and covered her mouth with both her hands to make sure she didn't make anymore noise because she really didn't want to wake the twins and EJ was already carting her out of the room. EJ walked out into the hallway with his wiggling cargo draped over his shoulder and met John on his way to his bedroom.

"I see you've gotten the knack of running down wild creatures now," commented John straight faced as he kept on walking.

"That I have Uncle John," grinned EJ as he headed back to their room, "That I have!"

"Hey!" protested Sami from her upside down position, "What are you two saying?!"

"That you my darling girl are a handful!" said EJ impishly and to illustrate his point he gave her backside a playful slap as she was still slung over his shoulder.

"Oh you…!" Sami began to chastise him for being so cheeky but was cut off when he unceremoniously dumped her on the bed and then climbed on top of her, straddling her.

EJ was careful to keep most of his weight off her and on his knees but it was enough to keep her in place. He grabbed her wrists and held her hands in place over her head even as one of those hands were still tightly clinging to the box she'd stolen from him.

"Get offa me EJ!" she protested, wiggling under him, "You're too heavy!"

"No I'm not," he grinned and she pouted, trying another tactic.

"I need to go to the bathroom," she said, opening her eyes wide and looking as innocent as she could.

"Then go," he said happily, "We've got clean sheets in the cupboard."

"OH!" she said and gave an unhappy laugh at his teasing, "You're like the meanest man in the world EJ DiMera!"

"Is that so?" he considered that carefully for a minute, "How about this then? You ask me nicely like we agreed on earlier and I'll let you open your present. Would that make me a little less mean in your eyes sweetheart?"

"I suppose," she huffed and then looked up at him teasingly through her lashes, "Remind me again – how am I meant to be nice to you?"

"Well," said EJ, seeming to think on this very seriously, "I was thinking something along the lines of this…"

He trailed off and bent down over her and she held her breath, waiting for his kiss. She could only move her head because of the way he was pinning her to the bed but she did so eagerly, meeting him halfway as they finally had their kiss. EJ felt her melt into the kiss, his head quickly beginning to spin as her tongue pressed for entrance into his mouth and he willingly gave it. Sami squirmed under him, finding being confined like this frustrating when she wanted to be touching him. He relented and let go of her wrists and she immediately buried both hands in his short dark hair and tightened her grip on it, deepening the kiss. Things were quickly spiralling out of control and it was only when EJ broke the kiss and spoke that she remembered what had started all of this.

"Well that was very nice I have to say," he said unevenly, looking down at her with lust filled eyes, "Very nice indeed. After a kiss like that I suppose I'll have to let you have it now."

"Really?" she smiled up at him, her heart beating erratically in her chest as she arched her body up against his and gave him a knowing look, "Good because I really want it now."

"Then here it is Samantha," he said, his voice low as he bent over her again and Sami closed her eyes, anticipation roughening her breathing even more but instead of his lips on hers she felt something different.

She opened her eyes to see that EJ was reaching for the now discarded box and placing it on her chest. Sami smiled, having completely forgotten about his present for her in the heat of the moment and the self satisfied look he was giving her told her he knew it. EJ sat back on his haunches a bit, letting her wriggle out from under him a little and sit up, back against the head board of the bed.

"So open it already," he teased her when she just stared down at the box in her hands for a long moment, "The suspense is killing me!"

Sami grinned at him and pulled the little white bow on the hard box and flipped open the lid. Her eyes widened at what was inside.

"Oh EJ," she gasped, "It's beautiful."

EJ smiled to see the delight on his wife's face and moved so that he was beside her on the bed.

"It's just a little something that I wanted to give you to remind you about our life together so far," he told her softly, watching the awe on her face as she gently removed the item from it's box and held it up, "It's white gold."

Sami looked at the delicate charm bracelet in her hands and felt the tears well up in her eyes. EJ silently took her hand and put the bracelet on her wrist. Sami looked down at the sentimental piece of jewellery on her arm and bit her lip.

"There's a charm for every milestone for us," he told her, smiling at seeing how affected she was by it, "Look, I'll show you."

EJ pointed to the first charm.

"A wrench," he informed her, "It made our paths cross that very first time."

He pointed to the next one.

"A towel," he said tongue in cheek, "Because that little incident made it all the more memorable."

"Well I certainly knew what I was getting," said Sami cheekily, remembering the particularly revealing incident.

"Indeed," he smirked, "A camera… that photo shoot - where you chased off that model and took her place."

"We were going for classy, not skanky," said Sami sweetly, "She wasn't right for the shoot, that's all EJ."

"Of course sweetheart," he agreed teasingly, "Strictly a professional decision on your behalf I'm sure."

"Alright," she huffed, pretending to be upset, "Move on, next charm."

"The couple dancing," he smiled at her warmly and leaned in to whisper in her ear, "I like to think of that as our first date."

"I was engaged to Austin at the time EJ!" she said, sounding scandalised by the thought.

"A minor detail," he dismissed easily, "Next… "

EJ touched the charm of an open oyster with a pearl in it.

"Our second date," he reminded her, "I gave you pearl earrings."

"Again," she said with a shake of her head, "The night before my wedding to Austin!"

He pointed to the charm of a little house.

"The house we sheltered in during the rain and danced," he said softly, ignoring her reality and inserting his own, "That's such a special memory for me."

"So was the part where we got arrested and then I ran out on my own wedding," she said with a roll of her eyes.

"I only found one of those things to be a nuisance," he said cheekily.

"I bet," she said, giving him a sideways look, "I'm still sure you planned the whole thing somehow."

"I didn't make it rain and I didn't get us arrested," he protested, "It was just fate telling you that Austin wasn't the one. Next, the letters charm. Santo and Colleen's love story written down and proving once and for all that we are indeed fated to be."

Sami looked at the little crafted charm of a bundle of letters and gave a soft smile, wondering if her great aunt would be happy to know how things had turned out for her and Colleen. Somehow she suspected she would be.

"The two babies," EJ moved on and pointed out the little figures of a boy and girl baby, "Ali and Johnny - the greatest gift anyone has ever given me in my life."

Sami stroked the two little charms and felt the tears well up again as she thought of their children.

"The church we were married in," he said next and then gave her a cheeky look, "I wasn't sure to go with a church or a gun there."

"I told you EJ!" she said, frowning at him and giving his arm a light whack, "Don't joke about that day."

"Sorry sweetheart," he said with a little laugh and continued on, "Next…"

"A cat?" she interrupted in confusion, not knowing what that meant and then she suddenly realised and a blush broke out all over her face.

"EJ!" she exclaimed, "You can _not_ have that on this charm bracelet!"

"Why not my little wild cat?" he asked her innocently, "That was the first night you came willingly into my arms and it was an extremely memorable night… for me at least and I'm pretty sure for you too."

"Of course it was!" she said, her blush only deepening now, "But what if someone asks me what it means? What am I going to say."

"Just tell them I suffer from cat allergies," he said straight faced.

"EJ!" she groaned and shook her head, "So now I'm afraid to ask about this bed."

"The hospital bed where you told me you loved me," he said simply, "The day our marriage started."

"Oh," she said quietly, biting her lip, "Well I guess that's alright then."

"And last but certainly not least…" he said and pointed to the last charm on the bracelet.

Sami squinted and looked at the little figure.

"Is that… is that Smokey?" she asked with a little laugh at the peacock with half a tail.

"Had to have it specially made," nodded EJ with a grin, "There is a shocking lack of peacock charms with half their tail feathers burnt off. I just don't understand it myself."

"For your proposal," she said softly, "My beautiful, memorable proposal."

"Indeed," he said with a little nod.

"But EJ," she frowned, touching a charm of solid heart in the middle of all the others, "You've forgotten one - what about this heart?"

"Ah," grimaced EJ a little and explained, "Well as you know our history got a little… complicated there in the middle and I made some very poor judgement calls for which I will always be sorry, putting you through the things I did."

"EJ don't," said Sami with a shake of her head, not wanting to think about those times anymore.

"I just wanted you to know that through it all I loved you… not very wisely at times I admit," he said ruefully, "But I loved you with all of my heart and soul Samantha Jean Brady DiMera."

"This is beautiful EJ," she said, her voice shaking with emotion, "I love it so much, you must have gone to so much trouble to have this made for me."

"Nothing feels like work when I do it for you," he told her truthfully, "And there is plenty of room for more charms as we make our way through this world together. I mean, after tonight, I think it goes without saying that I will be getting you a little flamingo charm to add to the bracelet eh darling?"

Sami laughed at that and EJ grinned back.

"Well at least no one ended up in jail," she said ruefully, "I guess that's a plus."

"A definite plus," he agreed with a nod.

"So have I thanked you yet for my beautiful gifts and the umm… highly original party you just threw me?" she asked him coyly.

"Actually," mused EJ, pretending to think about it, "I don't think you have Samantha."

"Hm," she said and nodded thoughtfully, "I'm just not sure what appropriate thanks would be in the circumstances. Maybe a card?"

"Shops are shut," he pointed out calmly, playing along.

"Oh right," she nodded again, "Of course. Well maybe I can make you a cake or something?"

"I've already risked death tonight," noted EJ straight faced, "I don't want to tempt fate."

That bit of truth telling earned him another smack.

"I have a suggestion," he said brightly.

"How surprising," she noted with a smirk.

"How about a kiss?" he asked her.

"You shock me," she said, with a quirk of her lips.

"So is that a yes?" he questioned her, ignoring her teasing, "Do I get my kiss?"

Sami lay back on the bed and smiled up at him as he sat beside her.

"I suppose I can run to one kiss," she mused.

EJ moved over her and looked up and down the length of her body, keeping himself just above her. He put out a hand and ran it over her stomach and then up to her ribs.

"You're so beautiful," he told her, almost in awe, "I can't believe your mine Samantha."

"Less talking and more kissing," she instructed him but still look pleased by his comments, "I don't have all night you know."

"Well in that case…" he murmured, done with their banter now and just wanting to be tasting her.

He closed the distance between them, claiming his prize. Sami sighed as she felt his tongue move into her mouth and find her own. The kiss lasted for a long time and when he finally drew back they were both breathless.

"My turn," she breathed and pushed on his shoulders, making him lie back on the bed now.

Sami straddled him as he'd done her not too long ago and she smiled down at him and slowly pulled off her little t-shirt, leaving herself topless now except for her jewellery of course.

"Breath taking," he whispered and he wasn't talking about the shiny things now, "Samantha…"

"We seem to be a little overdressed for my official thank you," she finished for him with a knowing look.

"Exactly," he smiled.

Sami quickly got off him and disposed of her pyjama bottoms while EJ did the same before she reclaimed her position on top of him.

"That's better," she purred.

"Infinitely," he agreed.

Sami went up on her knees, leaning forward to kiss him, moving back a little as she did and dropping her hips down. She sank down on his hardness at the exact same time she claimed his mouth.

"Oh god yes!" he groaned into the kiss at having the taste of her in his mouth as well as the feeling of her wet heat encasing him in the same moment.

Sami sat back and his hands went to her breast, cupping the fullness of each and delighting at the feel of her hard nipples against his palms as he massaged them for her. Sami groaned loudly and it encouraged him to be a bit rougher with her, finding her nipples with his fingers and twisting and pulling on them, making her gasp and cry out for more. She could feel herself beginning to lose control already as his clever hands worked on her body. He knew exactly what she liked and he knew how to give it to her.

"Oh god but you're so tight - I love it so much sweetheart!" he told her, closing his eyes in ecstasy as she began to ride him harder now.

Sami felt herself begin to climax then, jagged shocks of pleasure pulsating out from her core and through out her entire body, making her clench her teeth to stop from screaming out at the top of her lungs. EJ gasped and his whole body jerked at the feeling of her wet walls quivering around his shaft, powerful contractions driving his body into ever greater levels of arousal. Sami was making little choked sobs of pleasure at her bodies release and he couldn't stand it any longer. In a move so quick Sami didn't even have a chance to tense up he'd reversed their positions so that he was on top of her now.

"I love how quickly you come for me," he panted, his own body needing some relief now, "It gets me so hard sweetheart, can you feel how hard I am?"

EJ pushed his thickness into her as deeply as he could and she moaned loudly.

"Yes!" she cried out, still dazed from her previous orgasm, "Oh god EJ, please! You feel so good inside of me, more, give me more!"

With a pleased grunt at her enthusiasm EJ pushed her legs further apart and began to rhythmically stroke himself into her, his thrusts quickly gaining in speed and depth of penetration as the need to deliver himself into her body rapidly built. Sami avidly watched him above her, not even caring if she climaxed again, just watching his face as sweat began bead his forehead and a look of intense pleasure etched into his handsome features. He was so beautiful and none more so in these few intimate moments. He made her feel like the only woman in the world, like no one else existed - just the two of them.

"Please," he grunted unevenly, the sweat actually dripping from him down onto her body now, their bodies both slick from it as he continued to move frantically inside her, "Ple… please sweetheart… make yourself come for me! I want to feel you come around me again!"

Sami groaned, very aroused by his words. She moved her hands between their heaving bodies and whimpered as she found her hugely engorged nub, her previous release and his body having made it painfully sensitive but she began to rub it anyway, wanting to please him.

"Oh god yes Samantha," he hissed his praise, feeling her body begin to tighten around him again, "That's it, keep going, don't stop!"

Sami made a choked sound, obeying him and rubbing even harder, her body quickly returning to an intense state of arousal. She began to bear down on him uncontrollably and all he could do now was make guttural noises of approval low down in his throat, encouraging her on. EJ felt when she tumbled over that edge again, a final pleasing clamping around his swollen member and then a strangled gasp as she convulsed around him again. It was too much, the sensation made him lose control and with a final powerful jerk his body at last was able to empty itself into hers. Spasms of pleasure rocked his body as his hips took over, frantically trying to deliver every last drop of himself into her. Sami cradled him in her body, stroking his sweaty back and whispering words of encouragement into his ear until he was finally spent. EJ's muscles ached and his body throbbed from head to toe as wave after wave of endorphins washed over him.

"Happy birthday Samantha," he whispered raggedly into her ear, unable even to move off her yet.

Sami just smiled, too tired to speak and closed her eyes and knew she'd never been happier in her entire life then she was right then.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter TWENTY FOUR**

EJ wiped his mouth with his napkin as he finished the last of his BLT sandwich, whilst Sami was still working on her vegetable soup.

"Well I'd better check on Caroline and make sure our little howler monkeys aren't giving her too hard of a time," grinned EJ.

Sami gave him an answering smile and nodded. They'd come to the Brady Pub for lunch seeing as the mansion was still in a bit of a state from the party last night. John had gotten in cleaners for the job because it was just too much. Who knew that six large birds in a relatively confined space could cause that much damage?!

As soon as they'd arrived at the pub Caroline had insisted on taking the twins into the kitchen to leave EJ and Sami have their lunch in peace like she always did. Sami had felt guilty about it, feeling like she used her grandmother enough for baby sitting duties but as EJ had quietly pointed out - she would have been hurt if they'd tried to stop her. Besides, it was nice to share a meal every now and then and not have the distraction of two very boisterous children trying to grab at everything at the table and flick food all over the place.

"Won't be long," said EJ, standing up and pressing a quick kiss to her cheek.

"There are spare wipes in the side pocket of the diaper bag," Sami instructed him as he walked away, "Just in case it's a blood bath in there."

"Got it," said EJ with a nod and disappeared out into the kitchen.

EJ walked into the kitchen of the Brady Pub and smiled brightly at Ali and Johnny as they sat up in their joint stroller. The twins made excited jabbering noises at seeing their father.

"How are they going?" asked EJ, putting an affectionate hand on Caroline's back as she spooned the last of their lunch into their waiting mouths.

"They're like little baby birds," doted Caroline, "They've eaten up everything without any fuss what so ever."

"Well at least that's two birds from our household that aren't creating havoc," said EJ ruefully.

"I suppose that wasn't the best choice of words considering the events of last night," laughed Caroline, "You know I was thinking, that if it's alright with you and Sami that I could take the little ones for a bit of a stroll in the park down the street."

"Of course," said EJ but gave a little frown, "Are you sure though that the stroller isn't too heavy for you Caroline? I mean, with both of them in it, it can be a bit of a job."

"Oh nonsense," she dismissed his concern easily, "You should have seen what I used to push around when Roman and Bo were little. This is nothing - they make baby strollers so light and easy to manoeuvre nowadays."

"Well if you're sure then," smiled EJ, "I'll help you get the stroller outside for you."

"Thank you dear," said Caroline, pleased that she was going to be able to take her great grandchildren out and she could get to play the role of proud grandmother.

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami sighed and smiled happily to herself as she waited for EJ to return. She was the luckiest, most content woman in the world she decided. She had an adoring husband who was a devoted father, her family was all safe and well. Life, at long last was finally on track and she was just so grateful for it all.

"Hello there."

Sami's happy musings were interrupted by a the sound of a male voice standing beside her and she gave a little start.

"Sorry," the blonde haired man apologies with a lop sided grin, "Didn't mean to scare you."

"No you didn't… sorry, I was miles away," said Sami quickly, recovering her composure.

"How have you been?" the man asked her.

"Good," said Sami with a little uncertain smile trying to desperately place him.

He obviously seemed to know her but she had no idea who he was. He looked to be around her age, blonde hair, brown eyes and quite tall. He was also sporting a fading black eye and a split lip which should have given her a clue but it didn't. The man was good looking in a boy next door kind of way and Sami wracked her brains trying to think where she may have met him before. It was most likely he was one of EJ's clients that she'd met at one of those meet and greets that Mickey put on for the clients but a name just wasn't coming to her.

"Guy Mitchell," the man supplied when it was obvious that she didn't know who he was.

"Oh hi Guy," said Sami brightly, still coming up blank about who he was.

"We met the other evening," he continued on as he saw her continuing vagueness, "At the Nightingale."

"Oh," said Sami, her smile slipping somewhat, "Right."

Guy took a seat across from her uninvited.

"I'm glad I saw you here," he said with a warm smile, "It was kind of madness at the end the other night and I never got to see if you were okay or not… and I didn't have a phone number or even a last name for you."

"Oh right," said Sami weakly, feeling a blush heat her cheeks at the thought of this stranger witnessing her drunken disgrace.

"So was everything alright?" Guy asked with a little worried frown, "When you got home I mean? That guy you were with seemed pretty mad. He didn't hurt you did he?"

Sami could only assume he was talking about EJ because the events of most of that night were still either hazy or a complete blank. EJ had told her there had been a fight but that was only because she'd seen the marks on his face. Obviously a brawl would have been a more accurate description by the sounds of it.

"EJ would never hurt me!" she protested hotly, mortified by even the suggestion.

"Yeah well he hurt plenty of other people," said Guy unconvinced, gingerly touching his eye with one hand.

"EJ did that to you?" asked Sami, shocked.

"Well he did walk in to find us kissing," smiled Guy, a pleased look on his face at the memory, "So I suppose that isn't that surprising."

"I kissed you!" repeated Sami in utter horror.

_Oh my god… EJ!_

"Well I kissed you," admitted Guy with a teasing look, "But who knows where it would have taken us if we hadn't been so rudely interrupted."

Sami felt like she was going to be sick at the thought of EJ seeing her kissing another man, whether she'd started it or not. Why hadn't he said anything? What must he be thinking?

"So I was thinking," said Guy, leaning in closer to her where she was still sitting there a totally stunned, "I don't know what your deal is with the English guy but I really enjoyed myself the other night and if you're interested I'd like to see you again."

Sami looked at him wide eyed then, as though he'd lost his mind.

"I'm married!" she hissed at him.

"Yeah but not happily," said Guy, very self assuredly, "Otherwise you would never have let me do this…"

He leant forward even more than, intent on stealing another kiss from her. Sami was so shocked that she didn't react for a split second, hardly able to believe that this was happening to her. The first touch of his lips on hers woke her up though and her hands came up and pushed so hard on his chest that he almost fell out of his chair.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" she spat at him, keeping her voice low, conscious of the other people in the pub, "Don't you touch me!"

Guy looked a little taken aback by the vehemence of her reaction.

"But I thought…" he said in confusion.

"I don't care what you thought!" she bit out, "I don't know you, I don't remember the other night or the kiss and I don't want to know you! I love my husband, he's the only man I want kissing me so you'd better get up and walk out of here right now before he gets back and gives you a matching set of those black eyes!"

Guy stood up abruptly then and turned on his heel, walking out of the pub without another word. Sami put a shaking hand to her mouth and angrily wiped away at her lips, trying to erase the feeling of the other man's touch. She then put her head in hand, mad at herself for yet again getting herself into a stupid situation - would she never learn?

EJ stood there, arms folded in front of his chest and silently watching the going's on. He was standing in a little alcove by the kitchen door, where neither Sami or her companion could see him easily but he could see them. He'd returned just in time to see the man he'd instantly recognised from the bar the other night taking a seat across from Samantha. The sight of him kissing Samantha was emblazoned on his memory but it seemed as though she still didn't share his clarity about that night, seeming genuinely taken aback at being told they'd kissed.

It was a cold comfort to EJ that she didn't remember it but it was some comfort. The interloper was extremely lucky that Sami had reacted as strongly as she had when he tried for another kiss otherwise there would have been a repeat performance of the other night but this time the man wouldn't have been walking away. EJ watched him stalk out of the pub and before Sami noticed him standing there he returned to the kitchen.

EJ made his way out the back entrance of the kitchen of the Brady pub and headed down the alley way and out onto the street. Off to one side he saw Sami's unwelcome admirer walking up to what EJ assumed was his car and being careful to keep himself behind the man he approached him. Guy had just gotten the car door open when he felt himself being pushed hard between the door and the car itself and then the door slammed hard on him. He made a pained groaning sound and then he was being roughly turned around.

"You!" he said in surprise.

"Me," said EJ most agreeably, his tone belying the coldness in his eyes.

"What are you doing?" said Guy in annoyance, struggling a bit in the confined space EJ had wedged him into, trying to stand up straight and gain more of an upper hand but EJ wasn't budging, "Let me go!"

"I don't think so," said EJ, his voice a sibilant hiss now.

Guy actually felt a quiver of fear at the look in the other man's eyes but battled not to show it.

"What is this?" he demanded tensely.

"Just in case my wife didn't make it abundantly clear to you," began EJ, his voice hard and low in the man's ear, "You are _never_ to go near her again, do you understand me?"

"I guess that would be up to your wife," said Guy defiantly, not willing to back down to this man who seemed to think he could lay down the law like this, "She didn't seem to mind me being near her the other night."

EJ smiled then and it was so menacing that Guy involuntarily swallowed hard at the sight of it. He leaned right down, so that his lips were right beside Guy's ear, trapping him there with his greater size and height.

"She is my wife," EJ growled into his ear, every word carefully chosen and delivered very exactly so that there could be no misunderstanding, "_My_ wife. No one gets to kiss her, no one gets to touch her other than me. You are not allowed to breath the same air she does, you're not allowed to share the same space ever again. You see her in the distance turn around and walk the other way. If you think you see someone who even looks like her you turn around and walk the other way. Because if I see you near her _ever_ again, if you so much as say her name or even think about her again after today… I will take everything that is dear to you and destroy it utterly… and then…"

EJ trailed off and Guy found himself holding his breath, waiting for him to finish.

"… and then your torment will really begin until you're begging me to end the miserable existence that your life has become," finished EJ calmly, still his lips to the other man's ear.

EJ straightened up then and fixed Guy with the coldest, soulless look the other man had ever seen. He'd been threatened by other men before and it hadn't worried him but somehow he knew, looking into those almost black, hard eyes that these were no threats. This man was making promises that he fully intended to keep and that if he didn't do exactly as he was told then his life would effectively be over. The corner of one side of EJ's mouth turned up in a humourless smile, seeing the man taking his advice to heart.

"I see that we understand each other," said EJ evenly, "Excellent."

EJ stepped back and with a final harsh look at the man he simply turned around and walked away. Guy watched him go, hardly able to believe what had just happened. He still had his keys in his hand and he scrambled to get into his car and get the hell away from the lunatic but his hands were shaking so badly that he dropped the keys and had to feel around on the car floor for them. He finally managed to retrieve them and hastily put them in the ignition, the car roared to life and Guy floored the gas, just wanting to put as much distance between himself and that man.

EJ heard the car take off behind him but didn't bother to turn around, a feeling of grim satisfaction at seeing the fear on the other man's face. He was right to be afraid, EJ hadn't been joking or exaggerating. If he saw that man even in the same district as Samantha he was going to completely lose it. Knowing that he'd kissed her twice now was driving EJ crazy, even knowing that Sami hadn't wanted him to, it didn't matter. There was some primal male force driving him to protect what was his at all costs. EJ was back at the pub now and walked into the kitchen just as Sami came in through the door from the restaurant.

"Where are the twins?" she asked with a frown when she didn't see them.

"Caroline wanted to take them for a walk," said EJ calmly, no evidence of his violent urges towards the other man as he spoke affectionately to his wife, "I think she wants to show them off."

"Oh," smiled Sami with a sigh of relief, "Good, I was a bit worried there for a minute."

"Everything is fine sweetheart," said EJ evenly, walking over and pulling her into his arms and dropping a kiss to the top of her head, "Don't worry."

Sami wrapped her arms around his waist and put her head on his chest, hugging him tighter, She was still unsettled about the revelations of what she'd done the other night in her drunken state and the fact that Guy had seemed to think it would have been alright to just try and kiss her again. What if EJ had seen them… again? It was too horrible to even think about.

"I love you," she said almost urgently, squeezing him to her as tightly as she could.

"Do you?" he asked her and she could feel the question as well as hear it as it rumbled up from deep in his chest.

Sami lifted her head from his chest and had to tilt her head right back to look him in the eye.

"So much," she whispered painfully.

EJ cupped her face in both hands, his fingers in her soft hair as he searched her face intently.

"Prove it," he said finally, his eyes on her lips now.

Those same lips that had had another man's pressed against them just a few minutes earlier and the thought drove EJ mad. He just needed to possess her, prove to himself and to her who she belonged to and obliterate the other man's touch from her memory. He bent down and closed the distance between them suddenly, capturing her lips in an urgent, greedy kiss which sort to control and master. Sami melted into the kiss, letting him plunder her mouth readily, willing to give him everything, sensing his need to dominate for the minute. Slowly his fierce kisses softened, the need to mark his territory giving way to just needing her. He eventually broke the kiss, leaving them both panting, both wanting more.

"I need you," he rasped, his voice almost unrecognizable to his own ears now.

Sami mutely nodded her head quickly, her body on fire from his kisses.

EJ kissed her again, one hand leaving her face to find her breast and roughly massage it through the material of her dress. Sami moaned into his mouth, feeling her body push out fresh moisture, ready for him right then and there but somehow common sense prevailed.

"Not here," she groaned, fighting for some self control.

They were standing in the kitchen of the Brady Pub during the busy lunch rush - it was a miracle one of the wait staff hadn't barged in on them already. Sami grabbed his hand and hurried towards the side door which led upstairs to the rooms above. EJ let her pull him along until they got to the stairs and then he allowed her to go up just ahead of him but as he walked up behind her he slipped his hand up under her dress, his hand finding the heat between her legs and stroking it. Sami whimpered and had to quickly put out a hand to steady herself against the wall, her legs starting to shake uncontrollably.

They'd barely made it to the top of the stairs and he was pushing her down on the top landing and covering her body with his and reclaiming her lips even as his hands moved up her skirt and pushed her legs apart so he could settle between them. She felt his hands on her panties and shook her head.

"Don't," she gasped but he was already tearing them off her body and she groaned.

Oh god why did she even bother!

And why did she care so little?

Sami was finding his complete desperation for her unbearably exciting and she couldn't think past that. There was no more time for clothing, the need was too great and EJ simply released his hardness from the painful constraints of his pants and immediately thrust into her, not even checking if she was ready for him. Sami gasped and closed her eyes, the sensation excruciatingly wonderful to be taken so powerfully like this.

This was no gentle coupling, slowly building into a passionate finale like last night. It was demanding and frantic, almost too rough in it's intensity but Sami welcomed it. She revelled in the feeling of his insatiable need for her and so did her body, quickly coming to climax. She moaned raggedly as she convulsed under him even as he continued to thrust into her, prolonging her orgasm until she almost passed out from the severe pleasure of it all.

EJ felt her orgasm tear through her as she lay underneath him and felt an intense satisfaction at the gratification his body was giving hers but wanting more. He wanted to consume her utterly like she'd done him, leave nothing else for anyone else except for him. She had to be his, all of his and no others. Sami felt him the way he was thrusting into her so wildly and utterly and just knew somehow, from the urgency and ferocity of his lovemaking that he'd seen her and Guy earlier and it broke her heart.

"I love you," she told him brokenly, meeting each of his thrusts willingly, tilting her hips up and allowing him to possess her totally.

EJ moaned, feeling the way she was opening her body for him, knowing it was all for him and his pace inside her quickened even more, his body driving itself ever more desperately into hers.

"I never want anyone to touch me, to have me other than you," she told him raggedly, wanting to reassure him and let him know that the other man was less than nothing to her, "You're the only one I want coming inside of me, please EJ… please…"

"Sam… Samantha," he said hoarsely, his body moving inside her so hard and deep now that he was terrified that he was hurting her but he couldn't seem to stop.

"Oh god EJ!" she cried out, clawing at the material of his shirt, "That's it, take what you want sweetheart, give me everything! I want it all!"

Sami began to orgasm again, unable to control herself and she bucked wildly under him, gasping for her next breath. EJ groaned to watch the beautiful sight of her climaxing again, unable to take his eyes off her. She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, grabbing his sweaty face in her hands even as he continued to ride her mercilessly.

"Come for me baby," she pleaded to him breathlessly, "Oh yes… EJ… EJ… that's it… more! I want you deep inside me when you come!"

He could do nothing other than obey her, his body tensing, needing to deliver itself into her body. His orgasm was painful in it's force and he cried out from the relief of finally being able to empty himself into her body. Sami held onto him tightly, gasping words of encouragement for him to keep going and give her every last drop he had for her. She clenched around his still swollen length tightly even as he continued to thrust into her, giving him every last ounce of pleasure her body had for him.

"Samantha," he gasped finally finished, sounding utterly shattered.

"I love you," she said achingly and kissed him tenderly.

EJ returned the kiss and pulled out of her body and rolled to one side, so that she wasn't taking his entire weight. He shakily rearranged his clothing doing up his pants again as Sami did the same, conscious of the fact that her grandmother could arrive home any minute with the twins and head up the stairs. EJ leant back against the wall at the top of the stairs and Sami moved into his arms and he held her tightly to his side. He looked down at her, stroking her face tenderly with his long fingers.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked her unevenly, his forehead creased in concern now that his senses had returned to him, "I was so rough, I'm sorry sweetheart."

Sami shook her head at him, not wanting him to apologise for anything.

"I'm the one who's sorry EJ," she said, biting her lip in regret, "You saw me and Guy, before… didn't you?"

"Guy," he said, his voice suddenly hard, "Is that his name?"

Sami sat up straighter then, pulling a little out of his arms, suddenly desperate that he should know.

"I didn't remember him at all from the other night," she said urgently, "You have to believe me EJ. He had to tell me who he was and what we did. I'm so sorry that you had to see that. I don't remember anything about it. And then when he tried to kiss me again…"

"I saw you push him away," said EJ stoically, interrupting her apologetic explanation.

"I never want anyone else to kiss me other than you EJ," she said, her voice uneven with emotion, "No one has ever made me feel the way you do. Just one look from you makes me feel more than the most passionate kiss from anyone else. I love you and I want you, only you. I hate that you saw me doing something so stupid and I was drunk and that was no excuse and I know that and he told me he kissed me but I don't remember it, I just don't and I don't want to remember it, please forgive me EJ…"

"Shhh," he said, putting a finger to her lips, stilling her frantic ramblings, "It's alright sweetheart."

"No it's not," she said, a giant tear rolling down her cheek, "I've ruined everything."

"No you haven't," he said with a soft little laugh, "Don't cry sweetheart, I can't bear it when you cry."

He leant down and kissed away her tear which only made more stream from her eyes at his tenderness which he also kissed away.

"It's alright Samantha," he told her quietly, kissing her gently now and she could taste the saltiness of her own tears on her lips.

He pulled back a little and rested his forehead on hers and closed his eyes.

"I get so crazy when I see other men around you," he confessed achingly, "I can't stand it."

"Really?" she asked in surprise, he always seemed so calm and in control.

EJ gave a little smile and straightened up a bit so he could look her in the eye. He traced a line from her cheek down her jaw line and to her lips, tenderly stroking her soft curves.

"I just want to kill any man who touches you, even innocently," he told her, his voice low and possessive sounding, "I can't bear it when they look at you or even say your name."

"But you trust me right?" she asked him anxiously, "You know I wouldn't ever intentionally…"

"I know," he interrupted her, "It's not you I'm worried about Samantha. You just have no idea of how beautiful you are, what it is you do to men."

"I think you might be exaggerating a bit there," she said with a self deprecating grimace, "Plenty of men have been able to resist my charms over the years."

"Samantha," he said with a quiet laugh and shake of his head, "You're just so innocent sometimes."

Sami couldn't bring herself to really believe what he was telling her but she needed to know that he understood one thing.

"You know that you don't have to be jealous when it comes to me," she told him very sincerely, "I'd never cheat on you EJ, never."

"Sweetheart," he said with a heartfelt sigh, "You ask the impossible. I get so jealous of anyone who gets to be with you when I can't. Don't you understand, even know what it is that you do to me? I completely lose my mind when I'm around you."

"You mean like stalking someone and then almost burning down a hotel they're in because you think they're with another woman kind of lose your mind?" she asked him with a broken little smile.

"Yes," he smiled down at her, "Just like that."

"Well I might have a small inkling about what that's like," she said ruefully.

Sami snuggled in more fully against him and rested her head on his chest, feeling his rapidly beating heart at last begin to slow down as they talked.

"You know you never have to worry about losing me EJ," she said softly, "I promise."

EJ's answer was to tighten his arms around her and pull her closer to him, just revelling in the feel of her in his arms saying those words to him.

_But as much as she meant what she'd said, Sami should have known better than to makes promises she couldn't keep._


	25. Chapter 25

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****: **Well your Aunty Lou has been slowly been driven crazy by this board as she hasn't been able to upload any of her stories for days now! AGGHHH!!! Anyway, as you can see it is again working now so I'll post a couple of chapters to make it up to you. Here's hoping the board will behave itself eh and I can keep doing my regular updates.

Have fun with it.

**Chapter TWENTY FIVE**

"Well I'm outta here!" announced Eric, playfully ruffling Sami's hair as he walked by where she was sitting at the kitchen table.

"Hey!" she complained and swatted his hand away, "Quit it Eric!"

"Eric, be nice to your sister," interjected Marlena.

"Ha ha," gloated Sami up at him, "You got a smack!"

"Worth it," said Eric unrepentantly and went to mess her hair again and Sami slapped at his hands.

"Stop it!" she said in annoyance.

"Big twins!" growled John, trying to read his paper in peace, a rare commodity around this place, "Why don't you both go and play on the freeway if you're going to be this noisy?"

The twins grinned at each other, unfazed by his annoyance.

"I can't believe you're going home tomorrow Eric," pouted Sami, "Why don't you stay until the wedding? It's only a couple of weeks away now."

"As much fun as it would be to watch you go into melt down mode as you try and organise this shebang I have to go back to work," grinned Eric, "But I promise I'll hang around a little while after that and catch up some more… or are you guys doing the honeymoon thing?"

"EJ's organising that and I'm leaving it totally up to him," shrugged Sami, "I have no idea where we are going or even when."

"And you're okay with that?" asked Eric with a quirk of an eyebrow, "Not knowing what he's up to. The Sami I know would be dying of curiosity by now."

"So what?" she frowned, seeming outraged at even the suggestion, "You think I'm going through his drawers, tracing his phone calls or something crazy like that? I trust EJ to make a good decision and I'm happy to be patient and just be surprised by whatever he decides."

"Couldn't find anything out huh?" asked Eric sympathetically, unconvinced by her protestations of disinterest.

"No," pouted Sami, giving up on her act, "It's like he used to work for the Witness Protection Agency with how well he can hide information!"

"My sister's met her match!" Eric grinned and winked at her, "And they said it would never happen."

"You know Eric," said Sami brightening, a thought suddenly occurring to her, "_You_ could ask EJ about the honeymoon and…"

"Oh no!" said Eric with a shake of his head, "I'm not getting in the middle of you two – you're on your own Sis!"

"But I'm your twin sister," wailed Sami, giving him a pleading look.

"Yeah but I think I like EJ better," mused Eric straight faced and was rewarded with and apple thrown at his face which he caught neatly with one hand.

"Thanks!" he said happily, biting into it and giving them all a bit of a wave, "Like I said earlier – I am outta here."

"Bye dear," smiled Marlena whilst Sami gave him her best dirty look, "And I must be going too."

She stood up then and looked down at John who was still engrossed in his paper.

"Do you want to have lunch John?" she asked him.

"I just had breakfast," John reminded her with a frown, looking up at her.

"No," said Marlena with a roll of her eyes, "Later on, do you want to have lunch?"

"Well that was my plan," nodded John, "I do every other day – why would I not do it today?"

"Mom means with her John," said Sami in exasperation, "Do you want to have lunch with Mom today?"

"Oh," said John a little surprised, "Yes."

"Why don't you come by my office at twelve and we'll go somewhere?" offered Marlena with a little thank you smile to her daughter.

"Yes," said John again.

Marlena smiled again and walked out of the room.

"So you and Mom seem to be making progress," noted Sami, ever curious, "What did you do John?"

"I have no idea," said John expressionlessly, "It's like with my socks – I never check which is the left sock and which is the right sock when I put them on in the morning and I've managed to get it right every single time. Six months now and I haven't gotten it wrong yet. It's the same with your mother – I don't know how I do it, I just enjoy it when I don't have to swap socks."

John gave a very pleased smile at that and Sami opened her mouth to correct him about the socks but he looked so proud of himself that she didn't have the heart to tell him the truth so she just smiled at him.

"Wow John," she said, sounding impressed, "That's really something with the socks."

"Yes it is," he said with a self satisfied nod and went back to his paper.

Sami just shook her head and then rested her head on her hand and watched him with affection as he continued to read his paper. He was just so very odd but there was something also vaguely endearing about him at the same time she decided. An observation she would soon be revising though when Rolf walked into the room.

"Hey Rolf," she said with a little smile, "How's your head?"

"I vill live," he said with a shrug.

It was two days after the party and the house was almost back to its former glory which couldn't quite be said for poor old Rolf.

"And yet I still had to drive you to the hospital in the middle of the night," grumped John, not looking up from his reading, "The next time you catch a flamingo with your face you're on your own – I've done my duty!"

"Hopefully za situation vill never arize again," said Rolf with a grimace but not sounding overly convinced that it wouldn't.

John suddenly looked up from his paper and fixed Rolf with a considered look. That should have been Sami's first clue that she should leave but she was currently cutting up a piece of apple and popping a slice in her mouth and didn't notice the warning signs.

"I've got a question Rolf," he said suddenly, "And I can't get a straight answer from anyone."

"Ya?" asked Rolf, pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"What's a Brazilian?" asked John casually, "And I don't mean the people or the nut. I met this woman in New Orleans and she offered to show me her Brazilian so what did she mean by that?"

Sami sucked in a horrified gasp and then began to choke on apple, going red in the face. John looked at her calmly and simply poured her a glass of water and then went back to Rolf. Sami was desperately trying to get her voice to start working again so she could stop this oncoming freight train but she wasn't quite in time.

"Oh ya," nodded Rolf casually, "Za Brazilian iz a zing some ladiez like to have vere all of za hair is removed from za…"

Rolf stopped suddenly then as Sami, desperate to stop him finishing that sentence and her voice still not working did the only thing she could in the circumstances and threw the rest of her glass of water all over Rolf. Rolf blinked, shook his head to get most of the water off him and then looked at her in surprise.

"Removed from the what?" asked John, really curious now and ignoring what Sami had just done, just wanting Rolf to finish his sentence.

"NO!" Sami finally managed to choke out, "I can _not_ believe you Rolf!"

"Removed from the what?" asked John again in agitation, "I need some closure with that explanation Rolf."

"There are lines!" hissed Sami, her cheeks a very bright red, "Lines I tell you!"

"What?" asked John in confusion, finally looking at her, "What lions, what are you talking about?"

"Rolf is never allowed to finish that sentence!" she announced dramatically, "Ever!"

Two men exchanged confused looks, uncertain of what all the fuss was about.

"Because of lions?" asked John bewildered, having no idea what she was going on about.

"Lines!" shouted Sami, "Lines!"

She looked around wildly for something to illustrate her point and grabbed the red ketchup bottle from the middle of the table. Without stopping to think about it she squirted a big red line of the condiment across the table and then over the floor and up the bench, completely dividing the room in two. Rolf and John just watched her and when she was done she whirled around and fixed them both with a vaguely crazed stare.

"There are lines," she made a jab at the red line she'd just drawn with the ketchup bottle, "Lines that cannot be crossed – so don't cross them, do you hear me?!"

With that she stormed out of the kitchen, ketchup bottle still in hand. The two men just looked at each other and then looked at the line that divided the two of them.

"So," said John, finally breaking the silence, "Which one of us do you think is on the wrong side of the line?"

"And more importantly," continued on Rolf seriously, "If I can't crozz za line… how am I eva going to get out of za kitchen?"

EJ meanwhile had no idea of the dilemmas of the other two men and was carrying the twins downstairs after having cleaned them up after breakfast.

"So my little rug rats," he said to them affectionately, "I thought seeing as today is such a lovely day and I don't have to go into the office until much later today that you two, Mummy and I could all have a bit of a picnic out in the gardens. How does that sound eh? Does that sound like a plan?"

EJ smiled down at the Ali and Johnny as they gave him excited answers to his question. He pushed on the kitchen door with his foot seeing as his hands were full and continued talking to them as he entered the room.

"Well I'm glad the idea has your approv…" EJ said teasingly but his words trailed off as he walked into the kitchen properly only to find Rolf standing at one end of the kitchen, appearing to be wet for some reason, John sitting at the table and a big red line dividing the two of them.

EJ squinted and just did a quick double check that it wasn't blood – never be too careful in this house – and was relieved to see it only appeared to be tomato sauce. Relieved… but still confused.

"What happened?" he asked with a sigh.

"Wifey's gone crazy," John said flatly.

"What did you do?" asked EJ in resignation, his hopes for a nice quiet day dashed already.

"Oh right away you assume it was something I did!" said John sounding quite indignant, "Couldn't it just be that you married a fruit basket?!"

"Rolf?" asked EJ patiently, ignoring his uncle's outburst.

"Vell," began Rolf, still not totally sure what had happened himself, "John und I vere just talking and zen Zamantha…"

"Talking about what Rolf?" interrupted EJ; having a feeling he wasn't getting the full story.

"Brazilians," supplied John readily, "Next thing you know we're knee deep in crazy."

"I told you to add that particular topic to the not to be talked about list Uncle John," said EJ in frustration.

"To _your_ list," John corrected him reasonably, "Rolf hasn't got a list."

"And you just had to wait until Samantha was in the room to ask that question?" asked EJ in exasperation, "She is extremely stressed and a little overwrought with the upcoming wedding at the moment and I'd appreciate it if you didn't add to her and by extrapolation, my worries by having these kinds of conversations in front of her. Do you think you can manage that at all?"

"What kind of conversations?" asked John, not being very helpful, "How do I know what the conversation is going to be before I have it? It all seems very arbitrary if you ask me."

"No one is asking you Uncle," said EJ firmly, "Now where is Samantha."

"The Loony express went that a way," said John, indicating the door that led into the living room.

"Come on you two," sighed EJ to the twins, "Let's go and talk your Mummy down from the ledge eh?"

As EJ walked out the door with the twins in his arms he just heard part of the conversation behind him before the door swung shut again.

"Okay Rolf, all za hair iz removed from za what exactly?"

EJ grimaced and quickened his pace, seriously not wanting to hear the rest of that conversation. He found Sami sitting on the sofa, staring vacantly at one point, the ketchup bottle still clutched tightly in one hand.

"Ohh, not good," said EJ quietly and then softly to the twins, "Okay you two, help me out here. No sudden movements and look as cute as you can – Daddy's going in."

EJ took a couple of more steps into the room.

"Sweetheart?" he said a little hesitantly.

Sami slowly turned and looked over at him.

"Lines!" she said, her eyes still looking a little crazed, waving the ketchup bottle around as she did, little dollops of sauce flicking everywhere, "There are lines EJ!"

"I know darling," he said, trying his best not to laugh at the vaguely odd sight she made, "I saw the lines… they were very nice."

"Do you know what they were talking about in there?" asked Sami desperately.

"It was mentioned in passing," nodded EJ calmly, "Yes."

"I can't believe that those two think it's alright to talk about… about…" Sami trailed off then, obviously finding it hard to find the next words, "EJ…"

"We have to move," finished off EJ for her sympathetically.

Sami gave a frantic nodding of her head as an answer.

"Mm," said EJ in resignation, "I thought we might be heading in that general direction."

_Dang… and he hadn't even gotten the sex that usually precipitated such a statement… double dang!_


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter TWENTY SIX**

EJ lounged on the picnic rug, casually comfortable in jeans and t-shirt as the twins played happily at his bare feet. The picnic idea had been a bust after yesterdays unfortunate Brazilian/Ketchup incident but at least he'd gotten his wish today.

"So what do you think he talks to them about?" asked Sami curiously as she sat beside him, watching John off in the distance.

John was standing there, further down in the garden with several of the peacocks clustered around him. It was his morning ritual. John would take a cup of coffee and wander down to the garden and some of the peacocks would gather around him and then he'd talk to them.

"Do you really want to know the answer to that question Samantha?" he asked her rather sensibly, "I think as long as they don't start answering back we should let sleeping dogs lie don't you?"

"But it's weird right?" she asked him, still watching John with his little circle of devotees, "That he does that."

"Samantha, I caught the man licking batteries the other day," pointed out EJ, "A little conversation with peacocks is the least of our problems."

"Oh," she said with a surprised frown, "I wondered why all the batteries were out of the remotes around the place."

"The stuff that man puts in his mouth is a never ending cause of concern for me," said EJ with a roll of his eyes, "I'm quite relieved when he's with the peacocks truth be told… at least he can't get them in his mouth."

Sami shrugged, she supposed he had a point but she sure would still love to know what they talked about. EJ meanwhile picked up another croissant and bit the end off it. He was chewing away happily when he felt himself being stared at. He turned his head to see Sami watching him unblinkingly as he ate the buttery treat.

"Sweetheart," he sighed, "If you want one just have one already - it's not going to be the end of civilisation as we know it."

"Our wedding is just over two weeks away," she scowled, her eyes still fixated on the pastry that was left in his hand, "I can't! I have to fit into my wedding dress EJ!"

"Or you could get the wedding dress made to actually fit you rather than a size too small and put all this unnecessary pressure on yourself," he pointed out very reasonably which made her want to hit him.

"That's not how it works EJ!" she pouted.

"Well maybe it should," he shrugged, "Sweetheart I just hate to see you put yourself through this when you're absolutely, breath takingly gorgeous just as you are."

He looked over at her then and an evil glint came to his eye.

"In fact I don't know how I am possibly managing to let you sit there unmolested for all this time," he said with a devilish grin, "I am feeling the urge to fix that particular oversight immediately."

EJ sat up from where he'd propped himself up on his elbows and pulled her to him with a hand around her waist as she sat cross legged beside him. He nuzzled at her neck, playfully nipping at the tender skin.

"Hey!" said Sami, trying to sound stern, "You don't get me _and_ croissants mister!"

Without even lifting his head from her neck he threw the pastry over his shoulder and continued in his ravishing of her neck.

"No contest," he purred against her ear, making her giggle.

"Avert your eyes young uns," said a voice behind them teasingly, "Witnessing this kind of debauchery will scar you for life!"

Sami and EJ looked back over their shoulders to see Eric walking up to them from the house, obviously having just returned from having said his goodbyes to the rest of the family.

"So you all packed?" she asked him, craning her neck right back to look at him as he stood over them.

"Yup," said Eric, plopping down on the rug beside them, "All set."

"It's going to be weird not having you around," said Sami with a sad little sigh.

"I know," he grinned, "It's been a wild ride this trip I have to say. And that birthday party…"

Eric shook his head before continuing.

"There is no way anyone is going to believe me when I tell them about that party," he said ruefully, "I mean, if that was a birthday party… this vow renewal wedding thing you've got planned is going to be kick ass!"

"Eric!" she chided him and jerked her head at where the twins were hanging off his every word.

"Sorry," he said teasingly, "Kick bottom then."

"I'm sure it won't be anywhere near as spectacular as the birthday party," said EJ quickly, not wanting Sami to worry anymore than she already was, "That was just a one off thing - a freak series of events."

"Is that why you're not having a birthday party for the little twins tomorrow?" asked Eric, nodding at the two of them as they crawled around on the rug, "Worried lightening might strike twice?"

"Of course not," said EJ calmly, "And we are having a little party at home for them, just the family. With their birthdays only four days after yours and Sami's and seeing as it they will only be turning one and won't know what's going on we'll just keep it simple."

"Are you sure you can't stay one extra day for it?" asked Sami wistfully.

"There will be cake," EJ tempted him with a grin, "And party hats."

"Well party hats are pretty hard to say no to," said Eric with a laugh, "But if I don't go back now I won't be able to make the wedding and I definitely want to be here for that hoe down. Although it's pretty hard to imagine how you'll top the birthday party. I'm fully expecting a bunch of caribou next time to take up residence in the home theatre room!"

"A spoonful," corrected EJ, picking up a fresh croissant and tearing a piece off and feeding it to Ali and then another piece to Johnny, "Caribou come in herds and spoonfuls."

"Oh come on!" said Sami loudly, "Now you're just making stuff up! What kind of person would come up with that - a _spoonful_ of caribou?!"

"I don't know sweetheart, a hungry person perhaps?" grinned EJ with a little shrug, "But you have to admit… it would be a pretty interesting job to have… coming up with collective nouns for things."

"It sounds like everyone just sits round and gets drunk and comes up with the stupidest names they can think of," said Sami with a roll of her eyes.

"Oh yeah," agreed Eric, "Now that _would_ be a cool job."

"Well caribou or not," said Sami determinedly, "I'm not going to worry about it. Don't sweat the small stuff, that's me from now on."

"Really?" asked EJ, sounding a little sceptical.

"After our birthday party I've decided that what ever happens, happens when it comes to the wedding," said Sami with a definite nod, "I can't control everything, just my reaction to it. That's my new motto. I mean, if we can survive the flamingo fiasco then what's there to worry about really?"

"So I'll remind you of that sentiment next time you are sobbing inconsolably because they can't get you tulips in the exact shade of white you want shall I darling?" asked EJ teasingly.

"There is more than one shade of white?" asked Eric in consternation, this being news to him.

"Don't," said EJ with a rueful shake of his head, "That is a road you don't want to go down my friend - only heartache and misery is at the end of that road."

"Of course there is Eric!" Sami huffed, ignoring EJ's droll comments, "There is a cream white, off white, white white, pink white, blue white…"

"Wow!" said Eric, eyes wide, "That's a lot of whites alright."

"I wasn't finished," said Sami flatly.

"Come on," said EJ, taking pity on Eric and trying a distracting tactic and addressed the twins, "How about a last game with Uncle Eric you guys before we put him on the plane this afternoon?"

The twins seemed to think this was a great idea and Johnny clambered to his feet, having really gotten the hang of standing now and even managing a few toddling steps. Ali wasn't far behind him, standing up as well now. She was a lot more steady on her feet then her brother because she wasn't intent on rushing off anywhere, simply happy to be standing and enjoying the new vantage point. Eric got up then and stood over Johnny, a foot on either side of him and he took his hands, helping him to walk along. He gurgled excitedly at this new experience of walking. EJ stood up and did the same with Ali and they all walked like that a little further down the garden.

Sami smiled to watch her two favourite men with her children, thinking how cute they both looked playing with Ali and Johnny. She got up then and climbed up on the retaining wall that was behind where EJ and she had set up the picnic rug and sat crossed legged on it. It gave her a better view of everything. EJ and Eric were a little ways off now and they'd turned and she could hear them talking to one another but couldn't quite make out what they were saying to one another.

She was so happy that they got on so well together. It meant the world to her that two people she loved so much obviously liked each other as well. She watched then as Eric picked up Johnny and EJ scooped up Ali and they stood facing each other, several feet apart. The next thing she knew the two men had exchanged babies by tossing them through the air to each other. The twins made loud squeals of merriment at this new game but Sami was less than thrilled.

"Stop juggling with my babies!" she yelled out to them from where she was sitting.

"They like it," protested Eric as he tossed Ali back to EJ as EJ did the same with Johnny.

Both twins were laughing hysterically at this fun which made the two men begin to laugh as well.

"I don't care!" she yelled back, "You'll drop one if you're not careful!"

"But that's the great thing about twins," said Eric, not giving up.

He held Johnny up over his head then as he did.

"You've always got a spare!" he announced happily.

Johnny threw back his head and gave a great belly laugh at his uncle's joke which made even Sami laugh then and she shook her head at them.

"EJ!" she implored her husband for a little help here even as she couldn't help the smile on her face, "Back me on this."

"Alright," said EJ, not really sharing Sami's concern because he knew he and Eric were being very careful but not wanting to upset her, "How about this then? One more time for luck and then we'll call it quits eh?"

Sami shook her head but gave in, trying to quash her mother's instinct to protect her children from even the possibility of harm coming to them. She knew Eric and EJ wouldn't let anything happen to the twins but it was still hard to watch.

"One last time!" she called out her agreement, "But that's it!"

"One… two…" EJ counted the baby toss in as both he and Eric swung Ali and Johnny back and forth on each count, excited anticipation written all over their little faces, "THREE!"

EJ and Eric threw their respective bundles, each one catching the other one neatly as the baby howled with laughter. Sami blew out a relieved breath and was glad that was over. She felt a bit mean seeing as the twins were obviously enjoying themselves but then again they also enjoyed chewing on electrical cords so that was why babies didn't really get a vote in these kinds of things.

"You know what would make that act more interesting?" asked John as he ambled up to them from where he'd been having his tête-à-tête with the peacocks further down in the garden and observing the fun and games.

"Don't make eye contact with him Eric!" said EJ sternly as the other man turned to look at John, "It only encourages him."

But it was too late unfortunately.

"Chain saws," announced John, seeming to be really considering this seriously and then giving a nod, "Now that's an act I'd pay to see."

"Oh god," said EJ flatly.

"People juggling babies and chain saws?" repeated Eric with a little quirk of his lips as he winked at Ali who giggled back at her uncle, "I don't even think Cirque de Soleil would go there do you Ali?"

"What's that?" asked John and EJ rolled his eyes at Eric.

"You started this, you can finish it," he told his brother in law.

Some of the peacocks had seen fit to walk up with John and were milling around. Apart from Smokey they'd all gotten quite tame. In fact you could actually hand feed them now. EJ had bought down a bag of bird seed with them when they'd set up in the garden and Sami climbed down from the retaining wall and walked over to where they were all standing.

"Here," she said, handing the bag to EJ with a little smile, "See if Johnny and Ali wants to feed them."

EJ took the offered bag and walked over to where the peacocks were standing and squatted down, putting the twins between his legs as he did. They both held onto one of his thighs each to steady themselves as they stood there. The birds who were used to this by now were already lining up for food. There were four of them there now and they crowded around EJ and the twins.

"Need a hand there?" grinned Eric.

Eric took a handful of seed and caught the attention of three of the birds who scurried over to him and started to peck at the food out of his hand hungrily. EJ meanwhile had been training the twins to put out their hands as flat as they could and put some grain into their little hands. The bird that had stayed with them picked delicately at the offered grain as the twins gabbled away excitedly.

"Violet is such a sweet bird," smiled Sami, watching the bird gently picking at the grain, as though it somehow knew to be careful with the children.

It was the only other peacock that Sami could tell apart from the others other than Smokey because it was markedly smaller than the others and it was a purple peacock unlike the others that were the more usual blue. That was why she'd given it that name as well… because of the violet/purple feathers of it's body.

"Violet?" queried EJ with an amused quirk of his lips, looking back at her over his shoulder.

"So I named one of them?" shrugged Sami defensively, "So what?"

"So nothing," grinned EJ and then gave her a teasing look, "Although you do remember that these are all males right sweetheart… hence the name pea_cocks_?"

"Of course I do!" she said heatedly when in actual fact she'd forgotten about that and felt herself blush a little over her faux pas.

They were just so pretty it was hard to remember that they were all males. EJ gave a little laugh, knowing she was lying and she just gave him a mock scowl for being such a smarty pants. She watched then as EJ gave the twins another handful each for Violet and smiled.

"I don't know why Smokey can't be nice like this?" sighed Sami as she watched the twins happily feeding the docile bird.

"Smokey is a peacock that struts to the beat of his own drum I suppose darling," shrugged EJ.

"Yeah that and he's the spawn of Satan," said Eric wryly.

"Yeah," nodded John proudly, "Smokey rocks alright."

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami checked her text message and smiled, looking over at the little café across the street. Eric had left yesterday afternoon and EJ knew she'd been a bit down because of it and now he'd texted her to meet him at the café because he had a surprise for her. Sami's smile widened, wondering what that surprise might be. He'd told her to drop the twins at her grandmother's which made Sami think that there might be a bit of naughtiness involved in this particular surprise. She glanced at her watch and saw that it was nearly 11:30, when he'd asked her to meet him and was about to cross the road when she heard her name being called out.

"Lexie!" said Sami in surprise as the other woman hurried up to her, "Hi."

"Hi Sami," smiled Lexie, "What are you doing here?"

"I'm meeting EJ," she smiled.

"Snap," grinned Lexie, "He texted me, all mysterious saying he had a surprise for me."

"What is he up to?" wondered Sami curiously.

"Well he's your husband," pointed out Lexie with a little laugh, "Don't you have any idea?"

"EJ generally manages to catch me off guard with his surprises," admitted Sami ruefully, "I have no idea what this might be about."

"Maybe it's something to do with the twin's birthday party this afternoon?" suggested Lexie.

"You, Abe and Theo are still coming aren't you?" asked Sami, with a little tilt of her head.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world," said Lexie firmly.

"Well I don't know how it could be that," shrugged Sami, her curiosity well and truly piqued now.

Obviously it wasn't what she'd first suspected he might be up to seeing as he'd invited his sister along and the next voice she heard definitely confirmed that for her.

"Ladies."

Both Lexie and Sami turned to see John walking up to them.

"John," they chorused in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" Sami asked, "Did EJ text you?"

"He did," nodded John.

"Do you know what it's about John?" asked Lexie curiously.

"Yes," nodded John, "It's about a surprise."

The two women exchanged glances then and looked back at John.

"So what's the surprise then?" pushed Sami, unable to wait.

"I don't know," frowned John, "I just told you… it's a surprise."

Sami shook her head at him – why exactly did she keep falling into the trap that was John?

"Oh!" gasped Lexie and Sami turned her head to see what Lexie was looking at, "Look at those shoes Sami – aren't they gorgeous?"

Both Sami and Lexie walked over to the shop window and took a closer look.

"Manolo Blahniks," sighed Sami wistfully, "They're amazing."

John came and looked over their shoulders, wanting to see what all the fuss was about.

"Can you see how much they are?" asked Lexie, looking around for a price tag.

"Eight hundred," replied Sami with another sigh – they really were beautiful shoes – red stilettos with intricate straps and a little flower at the side.

"Is that dollars or pesos?" asked John seriously.

"Dollars of course John," said Sami, rolling her eyes at him again.

"So what do they do?" asked John curiously.

"What do you mean, what do they do?" asked Lexie, "They're shoes John, what they do is be a shoe."

"But for that much money they must do something else," reasoned John, "Is there a phone in them… or a GPS built in maybe?"

"No John," said Sami in irritation, "They're just shoes. You put them on your feet and you wear them."

"Well that's crazy," said John flatly, "Why would anyone pay that much for shoes?"

"What do you care John?" huffed Sami, "You're a multi millionaire – you could be a whole closet full of these shoes and it wouldn't matter to you."

"First of all red isn't my colour," said John stoically, "And second of all my closets are pretty full already…"

He gave Sami a rather pointed look at that and she returned it with an unimpressed look of her own at their private little joke.

"…And thirdly I didn't become a multi millionaire by buying eight hundred dollar shoes," he finished off.

"No you became a multi millionaire when my father went into a coma and you took his fortune by default," said Lexie wryly.

"And there were no shoes involved!" said John triumphantly, feeling vindicated, "Just like I said."

Lexie tried to think of an appropriate response to that but came up blank.

"Welcome to my world," said Sami to her with a roll of her eyes.

"Well if you two are going to stand here and look at ridiculously priced things I'm going into the café," said John.

"Tell EJ we'll be right there," murmured Sami, going back to look at the shoes.

It was John's turn to shake his head at them now… and they called _him_ crazy!

He turned around and started to cross the street then, leaving the two women to it.

"So what would Abe do if you came home with those babies?" Sami asked her teasingly.

"You mean after he regained consciousness?" asked Lexie dryly, "I'm guessing there would be a lot of shouting. What about EJ?"

Sami smiled to herself, knowing he wouldn't say anything but would probably insist that they both got some enjoyment out of the item – perhaps just her in the shoes and nothing else would be EJ's suggestion she guessed.

"Oh I see," said Lexie with a chuckle, seeing the expression on Sami's face, "Well aren't you the lucky girl then?"

"Yes I am," smirked Sami.

Lexie glanced down at her watch.

"We'd better get going," Lexie told her, "Or we'll be late for EJ and his surprise."

Sami nodded and reluctantly left the shoes to cross the street with Lexie. They could see John already at the entrance of the café, reaching out a hand to open the door. Sami felt the familiar thrill at the thought of seeing her husband and quickened her pace, wanting to see EJ and especially wanting to find out what the surprise was. Lexie took her arm and they stepped off the curb together.

John put his hand out to open the door of the café and turned the handle but that was as far as he got before the world around him exploded in noise and colour and he knew nothing else beyond that moment.

**oooOOOOooo**

The noise hit them like a tidal wave, followed by the shock of the blast.

The two women were thrown to the ground in a shower of broken glass, splintered wood and dust. As Sami was knocked to the ground she saw John being thrown across the pavement, blown completely off his feet and only coming to a stop when his back contacted with the front windshield of a nearby parked car, the glass cracking under the impact. Immediately car alarms all up and down the street sounded and then there were the sound of people screaming. Sami coughed and struggled to stand up, the dust and smoke making it hard for her to breathe all of a sudden.

"Lexie!" she cried out, reaching out a hand to the other woman who was also struggling to sit up.

"I… I'm alright," Lexie managed weakly, bits of glass caught in her hair and dirt streaked her face and Sami knew she must look the same, "John?"

Sami looked back across the street to where John was lying motionlessly on the hood of a car and she felt her stomach clenched painfully. Her gaze went to the café then or rather what was left of it. It looked as though someone had taken a giant sledge hammer to it and shattered it utterly. Through the haze of the dust and smoke she couldn't see anyone moving and then her heart lurched painfully in her chest before feeling like it stopped altogether.

"EJ…"


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter TWENTY SEVEN**

"Sami calm down," tried Lexie again as she held a piece of gauze to a woman's head, "We have no way of knowing if EJ was in there or not. He may not have even gotten here yet, we don't know."

"Then why isn't he answering his cell phone?" asked Sami, frantically pacing back and forth in amongst the chaos all around them, "It just keeps going to message bank Lexie!"

The two women had been more or less unhurt after the explosion and after their senses had returned, Lexie in particular had gone to help the injured people all around them. There were mainly superficial cuts and bruises of passer bys like she and Sami had been and an ambulance had already arrived and John was being looked after them even as they spoke. Lexie was trying to remain calm for Sami's sake but she held very grave concerns for her brother as well but didn't want Sami to know that.

"Here," Lexie instructed her, trying to distract Sami from her worrying for a little bit, "Hold this in place for me will you?"

Sami grimaced and hung up the phone, taking over applying pressure to the woman's head wound for Lexie. She looked over her shoulder at the ruins of the café and felt a tremor run through her. No one could have gotten out of there alive and she felt the tears begin to sting her eyes. This couldn't be happening… EJ couldn't be…

Sami couldn't even complete that thought, it was just too unbearable. Not now, not after all they'd been through, it was just too cruel. He had to be alright, he just had to be.

"Lexie!" said Sami urgently, getting the woman to press on her own wound, "I have to go and look for him, I can't just sit here."

"No Sami!" exclaimed Lexie, seeing the other woman already getting up and moving determinedly towards the destroyed café, "You can't – it's too dangerous. You have to stay here! Sami!"

But Sami was already across the street, almost running now, needing to find EJ. A young police officer stopped her before she could get too much closer though.

"Sorry ma'am," he said, "You can't go any further. It's not safe and it's a crime scene."

"But my husband is in there," she said unevenly, "I have to find him! I have to get in there!"

"I'm sorry ma'am but no you don't," the young officer said firmly, putting his hands on her arms to physically restrain her as she went to get past him.

"Let go of me!" she shouted at him, her tears making it hard for her to see him now, "You don't understand! I have to… have to get in there!"

"Samantha?"

The sound of her name being spoken by that familiar accented tone made her whirl around and stare wide eyed at the person who said it. It was hard to see through her tears but she didn't need to see him to know that it was EJ. She ran, full pelt towards her husband and launched herself into his arms, so much so that EJ actually had to take a step back at the force of the impact.

"Samantha?!" he said urgently, as she clung to him, sobbing her heart out, "Are you alright, what happened? Are you hurt?"

Sami couldn't answer him, she just cried even harder, unable to believe that he was here in her arms and not dead under the pile of rubble beside them. EJ looked around him at the destruction and saw Lexie over to one side even as he held onto Sami tightly, attempting to comfort her. His heart had nearly stopped when he'd walked around the corner and seen Samantha in amongst all of this desolation. The state of her clothes and face told him she'd been close by when it happened and the thought terrified him. Sami meanwhile had finally loosened her grip on him and had calmed down a little bit, enough to notice Emily and Joseph standing just behind EJ, looking around at the scene of destruction in bemusement.

"Samantha?" urged EJ, bending down a little so he could look her in the face properly, "Are you alright? Sweetheart?"

"I… I'm alright," she managed, still struggling to let herself believe that he was safe.

"Maybe we should sit down dear?" said Emily kindly, coming over to stand on the other side of Sami and rubbing her back comfortingly and feeling how the younger woman was shaking under her hand.

"I'm okay Emily," said Sami unevenly.

"Oh honey," said Joseph with a concerned shake of his head at her, "I've seen okay and sweetie… this ain't it!"

Lexie meanwhile had seen them all standing there and hurried over.

"EJ!" she said happily, the relief evident on her face as she reached them, "You're alright!"

"Lexie, you're here too?" asked EJ in consternation as Lexie now hugged him tightly, "Of course I'm alright, why wouldn't I be? I was nowhere nearby when this happened. It's you two I'm worried about."

EJ reached out a hand and touched her forehead at the small graze and frowned worriedly.

"It's nothing," Lexie said dismissively, "Just a scratch."

"What happened here?" asked Emily in amazement.

"We were meant to be meeting EJ at the café for lunch," said Sami unevenly, still staring at him like she couldn't believe he was even standing there, "We all got a text from you saying that you had a surprise for us and to meet you inside at 11:30 today."

"How do you mean?" asked EJ in confusion, "I was having lunch with Joseph and Emily today. That's were we just came from."

"Yes!" said Joseph excitedly, "We heard the explosion and then all the sirens and I insisted we walk round and see what had happened. I'm _such_ a busy body!"

"Well thank goodness you are Joey," said Emily, "Otherwise poor Sami here wouldn't have gone on thinking that EJ was inside and under all that debris."

"And why didn't you answer your cell phone?" asked Sami in agitation, suddenly remembering, slapping his arm and shaking her head at him.

Why was it with him that she so often found herself wanting to kill him and kiss him at the same time?!

"Oh," said EJ, "I turned it off when we went to lunch and I guess I forgot to turn it back on again when we heard the explosion."

"You guess?" said Sami in horror, "EJ I died a thousand deaths just now trying to get in contact with you!"

"I'm sorry sweetheart," he said and put an arm around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, "I had no idea."

"It's just so strange," said Emily, "You said that EJ texted you Sami?"

Sami nodded and snuggled closer to EJ, putting her arms around his waist as she stood beside him.

"I don't understand," scowled EJ with a shake of his head, his suspicions immediately aroused, "I didn't text you at all today Samantha."

"We all got one," said Lexie in confusion, "And it was from your cell phone – I've got caller ID."

"All?" queried EJ, "Was it more than just you and Samantha Lexie?"

"John," said Sami with a little sniff.

"Oh my god John!" exclaimed Joseph loudly, sounding very upset now, "What happened, is my man muffin alright?"

"He was standing right in front of the café when the explosion happened," explained Lexie.

"Yes," Sami nodded, continuing on the story, "The blast knocked him off his feet and onto the hood of that car over there."

Sami pointed a finger to the shattered windscreen of the car and dented hood.

"He's in the back of that ambulance over there now," she said, biting her lip, "I went over there when the ambulance first arrived and John was conscious but they told me I had to move away so they could check him out properly."

"I'd better go and see how he is," said EJ worriedly.

"Excuse me ma'am?"

They all turned to see a young woman in a paramedic's uniform addressing Sami.

"You and your friend were here during the explosion?" she asked, indicating Lexie as well and both Sami and Lexie nodded, "Then you should both really be checked out."

"I'm fine," Sami said with a shake of her head and Lexie quickly added her agreement to that.

"Would you both please get yourselves checked out?" said EJ, sounding a bit anxious and when he saw they were both going to protest, "For my peace of mind if nothing else. Please… Samantha, Lexie?"

"I want to come with you to check on John," said Sami with a shake of her head.

"I'll go with EJ," said Joseph firmly, "And Emmy, can you stay with the girls until we get back. Now stop arguing you two and do as you're told or else!"

Everyone kind of stared at Joseph then, a little taken aback by the sudden appearance of his forceful, take charge persona.

"What?" he said a little indignantly, "I can butch up when the mood takes me and this is a crisis people so everyone… do as I say!"

He gave an imperious sweep on his hand then, as though he was handing out a royal decree.

"Shoo!" he told them and grabbed EJ's arm, "Come on you, let's go and check on our boy."

The women all looked at each other, including the paramedic, not sure what to make of that as EJ was lead off by Joseph towards the ambulance with John in it.

"That was very impressive Joseph," said EJ, looking down at the other man as they approached the ambulance.

"I have my moments sweetie," he replied off-handedly and then gave EJ a worried look, "You don't suppose there will be blood do you? I'm really not that good with blood."

"I'm not sure Joseph," said EJ with a little frown.

"I'm sure I'm over it by now," said Joseph, "It's a childhood thing, I'll be fine. The important thing is that I'm there for Jo Jo."

"Jo Jo?" asked EJ with a little smile despite the seriousness of the situation, "Uncle John lets you call him Jo Jo?"

"Well I haven't technically called him that yet," admitted Joseph ruefully and then looked up at EJ questioningly, "I thought I'd try it out on him today for the first time."

"Waiting until he's concussed is probably as good as time as there ever will be," agreed EJ sagely.

They were at the ambulance now and one paramedic jumped down from the back of the bus and looked at them.

"Can I help you sirs?" asked the good looking Hispanic man in his dark blue paramedic's uniform.

Joseph gave him a quick double take and decided he wouldn't mind dialling 911 if this is what ended up on his door step.

"I'm EJ DiMera," EJ introduced himself, "You have my uncle, John Black there. Is he alright?"

EJ looked over the man's shoulder to where John was lying of a stretcher in the ambulance, propped up and looking around, looking pretty alert considering. From where he was standing EJ could see that his clothes and face were covered in dust and dirt and his shirt was a little tattered but apart from that it didn't look too bad.

"He's been very lucky," said the paramedic, "He's gotten off very lightly, just a couple of bruises and cuts. It's amazing actually."

"Can we see him?" asked Joseph anxiously and then extended a hand to the man, "Joseph Miller, close personal friend of the dolly on your trolley."

The paramedic shook his offered hand and looked a little bemused.

"Um… Hector," he informed Joseph with a lopsided smile.

"Enchanté Hector," cooed Joseph and EJ rolled his eyes at the other man.

"Can we see him?" asked EJ.

"Of course," said Hector.

They all walked over to the back of the bus and John finally noticed them.

"HEY!" he said loudly, "GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME TODAY ELVIS? HEY JOE!"

EJ and Joseph exchanged glances with each other at the way John was shouting and then looked at Hector.

"Oh yeah and he's experienced some hearing loss from the noise of the blast," supplied Hector.

"I CAN'T HEAR SO WELL ALL OF A SUDDEN!" John shouted, "I THINK SOMETHING HAPPENED TO MY HEARING WITH THE EXPLOSION!"

"Yes!" nodded EJ exaggeratedly for his uncles benefit and then looked worried at Hector, "So is it permanent?"

_Oh god - John was bad enough but John at 200 decibels was going to be quite the cross to bear._

"No," said Hector and shook his head, "He should be fine in the next day or two."

"Oh," said EJ with a sigh of relief, "That's great, thank you."

"IS IT PERMANENT!" shouted John, still oblivious to how loud he was being.

"No Uncle John!" EJ shook his head at him and John nodded in understanding.

"It will be like a tinnitus for a while – you know, a ringing in the ears but it will settle down," Hector informed them.

"THERE'S A RINGING IN MY EARS!" John announced loudly.

"Yes we know honey!" said Joseph back to him and patting his foot that was just in front of him as John still sat in the back of the bus.

John obviously decided that introductions were called for now.

"THIS IS MY FRIEND JOE!" he shouted as EJ tried to shush him with a finger to his lips but John continued on undeterred, "JOE IS GAY!"

"Uncle John," EJ winced, shaking his head at his uncle, "You don't announce those kinds of things."

John frowned, seeing the expression on EJ's face and was confused.

"BUT BLONDIE SAID I SHOULD INTRODUCE PEOPLE WITH LITTLE FACTS ABOUT THEMSELVES!" he said in his defence.

"Pick _another_ fact Uncle!" said EJ carefully and slowly so that he could make out what he was saying, "And you're still too loud!"

"Oh," said John, making an effort to remember to talk more quietly but it was quite hard because he could no longer hear his own voice, "Okay then. This is Joe, a friEND OF MIne and he's gOT A LOT OF STATUES OF NAKED MEN IN HIS HOUSE."

EJ just looked skyward for strength while Joseph seemed unfazed by having this broadcasted to one and all. John was thinking about that last statement of his and realised something.

"ALTHOUGH THAT PROBABLY HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH THE GAY THING NOW THAT I THINK ABOUT IT!" he publicized to anyone within a ten mile radius.

"I am _so_ sorry Joseph," said EJ with an apologetic shake of his head.

"That's fine sweetie," said Joseph with an unconcerned shrug and then he gave the rather bemused paramedic a cheeky wink, "It's quite an extensive collection if you're ever interested in checking it out sometime."

"Oh… right," said Hector looking a little taken aback by it all but he was used to dealing with all sorts in this job, "I'll keep that in mind… thanks."

"I HOPE THAT THIS RINGING ISN'T GOING TO LAST THAT LONG," said John loudly, seeming to be talking to himself really, "I WON'T BE ABLE TO HEAR WHAT MY PEACOCKS ARE SAYING TO ME… AND I'M JUST STARTING TO GET THE FLAMINGOS ON SIDE NOW TOO. THEY'LL THINK I'M BEING RUDE."

Hector gave John a concerned look and turned back to EJ.

"Maybe we should take him in to the hospital just to make sure," said Hector, "He's not making a lot of sense."

"No," sighed EJ, "That is pretty much how my uncle is nowadays."

"Really?" asked Hector sceptically, "What's all the stuff about the birds?"

"There is neither a short nor a remotely believable answer to that question," said EJ ruefully, "Sufficit to say that it does kind of make sense… more or less… to us."

"AND DO YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING ELSE THAT'S WEIRD?" bellowed John to anyone who might be interested in listening and at that tone it was hard not to listen, "EVERYTHING SMELLS OF YELLOW!"

"Does it sweetie?" asked Joseph sympathetically, nodding at John understandingly.

"YEAH," nodded John back, "THAT'S SO WEIRD… IT'S THE AFTERNOON NOW… EVERYTHING SHOULD SMELL OF GREEN. I WONDER WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?"

Hector shot EJ another uncertain look and EJ shook his head at him.

"Again pretty much par for the course," he reassured the other man straight faced.

"I know honey bun," Joseph reassured him, unfazed as well by John's rather odd statement and with an exaggerated nod of his head he spoke loudly to him, "WE'LL SORT THAT OUT LATER FOR YOU!"

"Do you mind staying with him for a moment while I check with my partner about something?" asked Hector, "Just call out if you need help."

"Of course," said EJ, "Can we go in?"

"Yeah sure," he nodded Hector.

Hector trotted off to find his partner as Joseph and EJ climbed up into the back of the ambulance and took a seat beside each other on the stretcher across from John. Just then Emily, Sami and Lexie appeared at the ambulance as well.

"Alright?" asked EJ with a smile at them both.

"We're fine," said Lexie with an answering smile, "Clean bill of health both of us."

"Told you," said Sami almost defiantly.

"It's just nice to have it confirmed," said EJ calmly, "I worry about you sweetheart."

"I know," sighed Sami, hard to be upset with him for that.

"Well I have to say you look fine John," smiled Lexie, looking at him as he still lay there, sitting up on the stretcher, "All things considered."

"ABOUT ONE O'CLOCK I THINK!" shouted John with a nod, "BUT MY WATCH HAS STOPPED SO I CAN'T BE SURE!"

Sami and Lexie looked at EJ both with identical arched eyebrows on their faces while Emily put a hand up to her mouth to hide her smile.

"He's lost his hearing in the explosion," explained EJ ruefully.

"Please god tell me it isn't permanent," said Sami with a pained expression on her face.

"They think it will be a day or two," said EJ reassuringly, knowing exactly where she was coming from.

"I WANT TO GO!" announced John and they all waved for him to be a bit quieter.

"We should wait!" said EJ loudly and slowly, indicating with his hands for John to stay on his stretcher but John was having none of it.

"I'M GOING," he shouted and swung his legs over the side of the stretcher and for the first time EJ and Joseph were able to see the right side of his face.

It seemed to have taken the brunt of the blast because it was blacker and from his right ear there was a large streak of crimson red blood streaking down from his ear and down his face.

"Oh poor Jo Jo!" exclaimed Joseph, putting a hand to his mouth.

"Jo Jo?" said Sami under her breath to Lexie.

"I give that five seconds once John can hear again," murmured back Lexie with a little smile.

"More like two seconds," interjected Emily with a roll of her eyes, having gotten a fairly good idea of the type of man John was by now.

"NO I DON'T WANT COCOA," John answered what he thought was Joseph's question, "I WANT A SCOTCH… A BIG ONE… AND ONE FOR EACH HAND… AND POSSIBLY A FOOT."

"You know," said Joseph brightly, turning to EJ as they still sat side by side on the stretcher, "I think I'm completely over my blood thing now. In fact it doesn't seem to aff…"

Joseph didn't get to finish his sentence because he promptly fainted then and did a rather spectacular face plant directly into EJ's crotch.

"OOHH," said John watching the man topple down into EJ's lap, "MAN DOWN."

"And how," grimaced Lexie as EJ struggled to remove the other man's face from his crotch but it was a confined space and Joseph wasn't being very helpful as EJ tried to push him off him because he was completely out to it.

"What a shame Joey isn't awake to enjoy this," mused Emily wistfully, "This would have been the highlight of his day."

"Emily!" exclaimed Sami in horror.

"Oh please," said the older woman with a roll of her eyes, "Like it's not the highlight of your day too Samantha!"

"Emily!" said Sami loudly again, her cheeks bright red now and Lexie just burst out laughing and then Sami couldn't help herself and joined in.

Hector chose that moment to return and found three women in varying stages of amusement at the back of his ambulance, his patient sitting up on the stretcher and the man who'd introduced himself as Joseph face down in the tall English guys lap who he couldn't work out if he was struggling to get him off his lap or keep him there.

_Clearly he'd been gone too long._


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter TWENTY EIGHT**

EJ held the door open for John and let him pass through first. He'd driven John back home in John's car seeing as driving wasn't probably the best thing for him to be doing right now all things considered. Sami was at her grandmother's collecting the twins. EJ had been a bit anxious about her going alone after what had happened but Emily and Joseph had volunteered to go with her and help. He was greatly reassured by that fact… well at least by Emily going anyway. Joseph had just regained consciousness from his fainting fit and EJ rather suspected that Emily would be looking after them both somehow. Marlena met them at the door and gave horrified gasp when she saw the state John was in.

"John!" she exclaimed, putting a hand to her mouth, "What happened, are you alright?"

"I GOT BLOWN TODAY!" John informed her with gusto.

Despite EJ's best attempts he still hadn't managed to get John to regulate the loudness of his voice yet. Marlena gave a confused look to EJ who quickly clarified.

"Up," EJ hastily corrected him to Marlena, "He meant he got blown _up_ today. There was an explosion at the café he was walking into and now his hearing isn't the best… hence the shouting."

"Oh my god John!" said Marlena anxiously, putting a concerned hand on his arm, "Are you sure he's alright?"

"NO MY PANTS AREN'T TOO TIGHT," he said at full volume, looking down at his legs, "WHY, DO THEY LOOK TOO TIGHT?"

Marlena looked worriedly at EJ and he smiled at her reassuringly.

"He was thoroughly checked out by the paramedics and they said he was fine and that his hearing would return properly in a day or two," EJ informed her with a comforting hand on her shoulder, "Don't worry Marlena but there is something else you should know… Samantha was there too. She was unhurt but she's a little shaken up as you can imagine. So was Lexie."

"You were all there?" asked Marlena in confusion.

"We're still working out exactly what happened," said EJ grimly although he had some dark thoughts on the subject himself.

"Was anyone else hurt?" asked Marlena anxiously, taking John's arm and helping him into the sitting room.

"Eight people died that they know of so far," said EJ harshly, his jaw clenching at the senseless loss of life, "They're still digging through the wreckage though, there could be more."

"Those poor people," said Marlena sympathetically with a shake of her head, "But thank God you're all alright."

They were at the sofa now and Marlena indicated the John should sit down and he did with Marlena taking a seat beside him and looking him over worriedly.

"How do you feel John?" she asked him, speaking slowly and making sure he was looking at her as she did.

"NO," he said with a shake of his head, "I'M NOT THAT HUNGRY… THANKS."

Marlena gave EJ a confused and worried look but EJ shook his head, starting to get used to it by now.

"Not 'Do you want veal' Uncle!" he said loudly to John, "HOW DO YOU _FEEL_?!"

John made an expression of understanding at that and considered the question for a moment.

"I FEEL LIKE SMOKED HAM!" replied John stridently.

"Um… does he means he feels like eating smoked ham… or that he actually just feels like a deli meat?" asked Marlena, giving EJ a bewildered look.

"Ah," EJ grimaced, his fledgling interpretive skills struggling a little now, "Not quite sure on that one. If it was anyone other than John I'd say the former but honestly, with him… it's even money either way."

EJ got John's attention and asked him carefully and slowly.

"Are you hungry Uncle?!" he asked loudly.

"Vat is vis all ze shouting?" asked Rolf as he walked into the room from the kitchen, his eyebrows shooting up when he saw the state of John.

"HEY ROLF!" said John happily, "I GOT BLOWN TODAY!"

"Up Uncle John," EJ corrected him again with a grimace and pointing upwards to illustrate his point, "You have to say blown _up_!"

John just looked up at the ceiling at that to see what EJ was pointing at. EJ sighed heavily – obviously this was going to be a trying 24 to 48 hours.

**oooOOOOooo**

The twins' birthday party was in full swing later that afternoon and Ali and Johnny were enjoying all the attention even if they didn't know what it was all for. All the aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins were there plus Joseph and Emily as Sami had insisted they stay after they saw her safely home. EJ watched as Sami made yet another trip into the kitchen and quietly followed her in.

"Hey," he smiled at her as he came up behind her at the sink and kissed the back of her neck.

"Hey," she replied and smiled back at him over her shoulder.

"How's my girl?" he asked, studying her face carefully, worried about her after what had happened today.

"She's alright," said Sami with a little smile, touched by his concern.

"You know we could have cancelled this party and done it another day," EJ told her softly, "Johnny and Ali would never have known the difference."

"But it's their birthdays today," said Sami wistfully, "I wanted them to have a party today."

"You've had a big shock today Samantha," said EJ, turning her around so that she was facing him, "You really don't have to do this. Everyone would understand. I could go back out there and wrap things up."

"No," said Sami with a shake of her head, "I don't want that. I want us all to be together… to be happy together."

Sami bit her lip as yet again the horror of nearly having lost him washed over her.

"Hey," he said softly, gently pulling her into his arms, "It's alright sweetheart."

Sami closed her eyes and listened to his steadily beating heart against her cheek and held onto him tightly. He was so solid, so real and she needed his strength right then. It was so close, she could have been standing there alone right now. Her babies without a father, her without her soul mate and the thought made her tremble a little.

"Samantha," said EJ achingly, feeling her begin to shake now, "Sweetheart, don't… it's alright."

"I know," she said hoarsely, clinging to him now, "Everything's alright because you're here."

She lifted her head right back then and gave him a watery smile. EJ returned it, wiping away her tears with a long finger. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and the touch was so familiar that it comforted her like nothing else could.

"I'm alright," she said, smiling determinedly for him, "Really, I guess I'm just a bit overwrought with everything. Eric going, what happened today… our babies having their first birthday already. It's just a lot of emotion to take in but I'm fine EJ… truly I am."

EJ searched her face, tucking a stray strand of blonde hair behind her ear and wasn't completely convinced. There was the sound of a collective gasp from outside in the living room where the rest of the guests were and they both turned their heads to look at where the sound came from.

"I think you may need to go and supervise John," said Sami wryly, almost certain that he was the cause of that noise… he usually was.

"Yes," agreed EJ unhappily and wrinkling his nose in a grimace, "He's holding court out there at the moment and that has never ended well."

"You go," smiled Sami, "I'll be right there."

"You're sure?" he asked her a little uncertainly.

"Yes," she said with a roll of her eyes and swatted his arm, "Get out of here will you, you're under my feet."

"I can't help it," he teased her, "I love being under you as often as I can."

EJ grinned and gave her a cheeky wink at that.

"This is your children's birthday party!" said Sami, pretending outrage, "That's enough of that kind of talk!"

"Party pooper," he pouted at her and she shook her head at his silliness.

"Go!" she ordered him with an imperious finger at the door and he made a regretful sigh and obeyed her.

EJ walked back into the living room where the rest of the party goers were carrying the tray of drinks and saw that John was regaling everyone with his exciting day.

"YEAH IT'S BEEN A FULL DAY ALRIGHT!" he nodded, still far too loudly but that didn't seem to be putting off his interested audience, "IT'S NOT EVERYDAY I GET BLOWN - THAT'S FOR SURE!"

"UP Uncle John!" exclaimed EJ loudly to him with a shake of his head as everyone stopped talking at that last announcement, "YOU HAVE TO SAY UP!"

Sami had been right - he'd left his uncle alone too long. EJ jerked his head upwards to illustrate his point which only made John look up again in confusion, uncertain what his nephew was continuing to point out to him.

"Well _that_ isn't getting old," muttered EJ with a roll of his eyes.

EJ put down the tray on the table and saw the twins who were in their high chairs were also looking up at the ceiling quizzically, following their Great Uncle's lead.

"Oh don't you two start!" said EJ in exasperation with a little quirk of his lips, "I've got my hands full with 'Old Yeller' over there!"

The twins grinned at their father, unconcerned with his plight and EJ had to laugh then. Everyone had returned to talking now and John was continuing on with his story but had managed to keep it down to a dull roar.

"I can't believe they are one already," smiled Caroline, coming up behind EJ, "It only seems like yesterday they were babes in arms."

"I know," sighed EJ, "Time goes so quickly."

"Wait until you're my age dear," said Caroline with a little laugh, "And you'll really know what that means."

"You are far from old Caroline," said EJ affectionately with a shake of his head.

"Well events like this certainly make me feel young," she said with another laugh.

"I'm glad," grinned EJ and then looked down at the twins who had been listening to the two of them talk with great interest, "How would you two like Great Grandma Caroline to give you some birthday cake eh?"

The twins squealed, seeming to love that idea and both Caroline and EJ laughed. Sami walked out a minute or two later and smiled to see the cute sight of EJ and Caroline sitting either side of the twins and feeding them cake and turned back round to go and fetch her camera. John's story was picking up volume again and EJ was about to tell him to quiet down again but was just a little too late to avert disaster.

"… AND THEN JOE WENT DOWN ON ELVIS!" finished John loudly.

Everyone turned to stare at John then and EJ froze as he sat there feeding a piece of cake to Ali. Ali sat there with her mouth open, waiting for her cake as her father grimaced.

"Oh how I wish," muttered Joseph with a roll of his eyes to Emily.

"He means Joseph fainted on me," explained EJ quickly to the room full of people who were now staring at him except for Lexie who was beginning to giggle and Emily who was just watching with gentle amusement as her dear boy clambered out of the hole that John had just dug for him.

Caroline meanwhile just calmly kept on feeding cake to Johnny and looked completely unfazed. The same couldn't be said for her son though.

"What the hell goes _on_ in this house?" asked Roman yet again, really starting to worry about his son in law now.

"Is it just me or does there seem to be an inordinate amount of oral sex references for a pair of one year olds party?" asked Emily with a quirk of her lips as a quiet aside to Joseph.

"Mm," murmured Joseph straight faced, "Makes me wish I knew more of them really."

"Look," said EJ firmly to the expectant room of party goers, "It's very simple, My uncle was blown _up_ and Joseph fainted _on_ me… that's all!"

Sami walked back into the room with her camera in her hand to find everyone at the party looking at EJ and gave an unhappy groan.

"John!" she said in exasperation, just knowing this was because of something he must have said, "What have you done now?!"

"Are you talking to me?" asked John, unsure if he'd just heard Sami say his name then.

"It's alright Samantha," said EJ with a shake of his head, "I've just explained what Uncle John said."

"Are _you_ talking to me?" asked John now, looking at EJ, thinking he'd just heard his name again and getting frustrated when no one seemed to be answering him, "You _talking_ to me?!"

"Wow," said Joseph in awe as he listened to John and looked around him, "Cake, party hats, stories about people being blown and Robert Di Nero impersonations - this party has it all!"

"EJ and Samantha do seem to have the knack for throwing memorable parties," agreed Emily sagely as everyone around them resumed their conversations after EJ settled his uncle down.

"Can I tell you something Emmy?" asked Joseph earnestly, leaning in closer to her.

"Of course Joey," she said with gentle amusement, seeing the excitement written all over his face.

"When I think about this upcoming wedding…" he began and gave a little shudder of anticipation, his eyes briefly rolling back in his head.

"Yes?" she prompted him, her smile widening.

"I get so excited at what could happen that I sometimes find myself tinkling a little in my pants," said Joseph candidly and Emily had to bit her lip from laughing out loud at his vaguely weird confession, "I mean, I can't imagine how they'll top the flamingo thing but somehow I just know they will! I am counting the days honey, counting the days!"

"Yes," agreed Emily with an indulgent smile at Joseph's enthusiasm, "I definitely think it's going to be a highlight of the social calendar of Salem."

"Do you think there will be video of it?" asked Joseph wistfully, wondering what or who he'd have to do to get his hands on that nugget of gold if there was.

"I'm almost certain it will be necessary for the inevitable insurance claims later," said Emily straight faced.

"Have I said lately how much I love this family?" asked Joseph with a heartfelt sigh.

"Oh I think that goes without saying nowadays," said Emily with a little laugh.

Sami walked up to them then and smiled warmly at them both.

"Are you having a good time?" she asked them with a little self deprecating laugh, "I know it's only a children's birthday party… I hope you're not bored."

"Oh honey," said Joseph with great enthusiasm, "I'd be here if you and the streak of deliciousness you're married to invited me to watch you balance your cheque books!"

"You make us sound way more interesting then we are Joe," said Sami with a rueful shake of her head, "We lead very boring lives you know."

"In comparison to who?" asked Joseph with a roll of his eyes, "Indiana Jones?"

Sami laughed at that and shook her head at him.

"Do either of you want something else to drink?" she asked them.

Emily and Joseph both shook their heads and murmured their thanks for the offer.

"I'd better keep moving," said Sami, looking over her shoulder at where EJ was struggling to keep even a portion of the birthday cake anywhere near Ali's mouth, cake and frosting being smeared everywhere now, "It's looking like my husband could do with a bit of a hand."

Sami gave them a final warm smile and wandered off to get a cloth for Ali and EJ to wipe themselves down on.

"So," said Joseph as she left, "And this is important Emmy…"

"Yes Joey," said Emily patiently.

"I want you to tell me everything that happened when I fainted onto Big Boy Brit over there," he said very seriously, "And leave nothing out, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem. For instance… exactly how long was my face in the crown jewels?"

"It's Ali and Johnny's birthday," observed Emily straight faced as he pouted prettily at her, "Not yours Joey."

**oooOOOOooo**

"Well that was a very successful birthday party," said EJ happily as he and Sami walked back into their room after finally settling the twins for the night, "No emergency services or law enforcement agencies were called out and no animals were hurt in the making of it so all in all it was by far and away the bes…"

He didn't get to finish his sentence though as Sami just whirled around suddenly and grabbed the material of his shirt and dragged him down into a desperate kiss. EJ was caught off guard but quickly recovered, returning her ardent kisses with a passion of his own. She'd been strangely subdued all afternoon, putting on a brave face for the twin's party but EJ could sense that she was still upset about the events of earlier today and he couldn't say he blamed her. The party had been distracting but the reality was that he'd almost lost his entire family today and the thought was paralysing.

Sami wasn't thinking about how close she came to death though, all she could think about was EJ and the fact that he could have been inside that café when it exploded. For those fifteen minutes or so she'd been so terrified that she'd lost him forever that the anguish of those moments had stayed with her all day despite her doing her best to ignore it. The thought that she may never have this man's arms around her again, kissing her, loving her had completely devastated her and now all she wanted to do, had wanted to do since he'd spoken her name in the street was be as close to him as she possibly could. She needed to reassure herself that he was real, that this wasn't a dream that she was going to wake up from and find that he was lost to her forever.

Sami pulled at his clothes, unable to bear the thought of anything between them any longer. She was desperate in her attempts and in the end EJ had to help, removing his own shirt and pants whilst Sami rid herself of her own clothes. It was torture not to be touching him and as soon as she was done she threw herself back into his arms, renewing their kiss like it was the last act of a dying woman, pouring all of herself into it and letting him know her utterly through it.

EJ returned her kisses, matching her ardour with a desperation of his own. He bent his knees, hand going to her backside and picked her up, not breaking their kiss. Sami wrapped her legs around his waist as he carried her to the bed. She had a sensation of slowly falling backwards and then there was the bed underneath her back but she barely noticed as EJ quickly covered her body with his own. She could feel how ready he was for her even now, after so little foreplay and her body answered his need, the wetness pooling between her thighs. She ached to have him inside her, craved it like a drug. EJ seemed to share her desperation as she felt him settle between her legs properly, the tip of his hardness pressing for entrance into her waiting heat. Sami grabbed his face between her hands and looked up at him desperately.

"Say my name," she begged him, needing to hear him say it.

He entered her then… her name upon his lips.

"Samantha."

Somewhere between a sigh and a prayer and she whimpered at the sensation of taking him into her body and hearing the emotion in his voice. EJ didn't want to but he closed his eyes as he moved into her, the feeling of being surrounded by her again overwhelming him with it's exquisiteness. He heard her whimper and forced his eyes open, not wanting to miss a single nuance of her expression when he was inside her. His eyes sort out every line, every curve of her beautiful face, emblazoning it on his memory forever.

"Samantha," he whispered in an awe filled reverence, loving her more completely than he'd ever known possible.

He began to move and she groaned under him, short fingernails digging into his back and he welcomed the small pain, it made her real and not some fevered dream. Sami arched her hips, craving him as deeply inside her as he could be, never wanting him to leave her body. He stretched and filled her like no other and she was bereft without him. The way she took his body into hers so utterly was causing ragged groans to be torn from low down in his throat, even as he picked up the tempo, pushing them both towards their ultimate release. She was everything to him, every happy moment, every joy, every sadness. His whole world personified and he had to have her, could never hope to live without her now.

Each penetration of her body by him brought her ever close to that edge and she clung to him, wanting to fall over it together, not wanting this perfect union to end but knowing it must, their bodies driving each other into a frenzy of arousal. She watched his perfect features twist into an intense expression of pleasure and knew it matched her own. No man had ever made her come as hard and as wholly as this man could. The pleasure he wrung from her body was near crippling, more than she could bear sometimes but that didn't stop her from yearning more as soon as her release came. She was insatiable and nothing could quench the hunger except for him.

Each time he pushed his swollen length into her she answered him with fresh wetness, driving them both mad at the feeling. His strokes were so urgent now, the bed shuddering under the force of his movements but he couldn't stop. EJ needed her so badly, needed her body to take his like this and beg for more. And she did, matching him perfectly with her own want and passion.

"Please," she gasped, clinging to him, her body urging him on.

EJ felt his orgasm beginning, the shock of pleasure begin to radiate out from where he was as deep as he could be inside her and rippling through out his whole body. Sami felt his whole body go rigid on top of her, felt him tense as he prepared to push into her one last desperate time and deposit his seed into her. Every muscle in his body strained against the intensity of the moment and Sami sobbed as her own orgasm broke, tearing through her body as he pumped all that he had into her with a desperate ferocity. Her walls convulsed around his spurting shaft, encouraging him in his endeavours and pleasuring them both with how tightly she was clamping around him.

"I love you."

His voice was a shattered whisper, all that he could manage as she continued to pleasure him with her body. Sami closed her eyes, hot tears sliding out from behind her closed lids, adoring him like no other in her life. She wrapped her arms around his neck even as their bodies continued to milk delight from one another.

"I love you," she said brokenly, desperate that he should know and never doubt it was true.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ lay in the bed, listening to Sami's quiet, even breathing. He turned his head to watch his wife as she slept peacefully. He'd come so close to losing her today and the thought was near crippling. EJ could tell that Sami hadn't really thought through the events of today yet as she was still so concerned about him but when she did he knew she'd realise that he hadn't been the target at all but rather herself, John and Lexie. Someone had tried to wipe out half of his family today, obliterate them from the earth and the knowledge weighed heavily on him.

Tomorrow Samantha would wake up and realise all this so he had to get his thoughts straight, work out a plan so that he could keep her and everyone else he loved safe. His mind was racing and he knew sleep wasn't going to be coming any time soon so he carefully climbed out of bed and silently got dressed and padded down stairs. He walked through the kitchen and poured himself some milk before heading out into the darkened living room. A small glow through the French doors alerted EJ to the fact that he wasn't the only one that sleep was eluding. John looked up as EJ walked through the French doors and out onto the patio, taking a seat next to his Uncle.

"SO HELL OF A DAY HUH?' asked John as he puffed on the cigar that glowed bright red and it was this that EJ had seen through the doors.

"Yes," sighed EJ and then remembered to nod vigorously for his uncles benefit but shushed him with a finger to his lips… an action he was becoming increasingly familiar with.

"It would seem I've had a big couple of years – shot, coma, run down, coma again, memory wiped and now exploded," mused John doing his best to keep his voice down, "Maybe God's trying to tell me something. Maybe next time you shouldn't bother saving me and let someone else have a crack with my body parts – what do you think nephew?"

"Well if we do that it won't be your lungs they're using," said EJ with a frown, batting at the air to get rid of the cigar smoke hanging there.

"WHO'S GOT BRUISING?" asked John with a frown, his volume creeping up again and EJ shook his head at him.

"No Uncle John," he said, "Not bruising, using!"

EJ gave up then and motioned for John to stay there as he got up and went back into the kitchen. He returned a minute later with the white board that had found it's way back to the kitchen after the 'I forbid you' apology. EJ sat back down beside John and wrote on the board and then held it up to him.

_HOW ARE YOU FEELING?_

"WOW!" said John and EJ shushed him with a finger to his lips again and John adjusted his pitch, "You've got really neat handwriting."

"Thank you Uncle," said EJ in amusement.

"You know," finished John, "Like a woman's."

"Cheers," said EJ with a grimace.

John took the board back off EJ and wiped off his message and wrote his own.

_I'M FINE – EARS ARE STILL RINGING THOUGH_

EJ just looked back at him and shook his head.

"I can hear _you_!" he mimed to him and then pointed at the whiteboard and shook his head, "_You_ don't need to write anything down!"

"I THOUGHT THAT WAS WEIRD," noted John, returning to his loud voice without noticing, "YOU KNOW, PLUS I CAN LIP READ."

"You can lip read?" asked EJ in amazement.

"SO IT WOULD SEEM," nodded John.

"So why didn't you mention this before?" asked EJ in frustration.

"NO ONE ASKED," shouted John and EJ made a dampening motion with his hand again, trying to get his uncle to keep it down to a dull roar.

That was hard to argue with although EJ felt like he should somehow.

"SO SOMEONE'S TRYING TO KILL US HUH?" mused John and EJ sighed and nodded stoically, his uncle finally putting into words what he'd been thinking all day.

"SO WE SHOULD REALLY DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT!" suggested John noisily, "YOU KNOW - COME UP WITH A STRATEGY ABOUT WHAT TO DO NEXT!"

"I was thinking the same thing Uncle John," said EJ with a nod, speaking slowly and clearly for his uncle to understand.

"LIKE A SECRET PLAN OF ATTACK!" considered John.

EJ couldn't help but wonder at the secrecy of a plan that was likely to be shouted out to all and sundry to hear.

"Maybe we should wait until you get your hearing back before discussing secret plans?" offered EJ with a quirk of his lips.

"DID YOU SAY SECRET PLANS OR SEPTIC PLANS THEN?" asked John with a bit of a frown.

"Gee let me think," said EJ sarcastically, "Which do you think uncle?"

"ALRIGHT," sniffed John, "THERE IS NO NEED TO GET HUFFY. IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU MUMBLE!"

"I do no such thing!" said EJ indignantly, "I have excellent enunciation I'll have you know. Maybe your lip reading skills are a bit rusty… ever think of that eh?"

John frowned and looked down at EJ's chest in confusion and EJ shook his head at the man.

"RUSTY UNCLE JOHN!" he said, resorting to shouting himself now, "NOT _BUSTY_!"

_God give him strength!_

**oooOOOOooo**

John had wandered back to bed now after some more rather fruitless conversation and EJ was left with his dark thoughts for awhile longer. Eventually he stood up and headed back into the kitchen to wash out his glass and as he did the cell phone in his pocket vibrated. EJ frowned, wondering who would be calling him at this time of the night… or rather morning by now. He pulled out the phone and checked it, not recognising the number.

"EJ DiMera," he said into the receiver.

"Hello Elvis."

EJ blinked but other than that made no other outward sign of emotion.

"Hello Father."


	29. Chapter 29

**Chapter TWENTY NINE**

"What no words of loving greeting from my youngest son to his father?" asked Stefano with a sarcastic laugh, "Why Elvis, how you disappoint me… yet again."

"I'm not really in the mood for niceties Father," said EJ, his voice clipped but otherwise giving nothing away, "Someone tried to kill half my family today."

"Ah," and EJ could imagine his father nodding sagely at this, "It is indeed a terrible thing to loose family Elvis. I do hope no one was seriously hurt at all."

"Haven't your cronies informed you that they failed yet again to do your bidding?" asked EJ flatly.

"My bidding?" asked Stefano and there was a hurt tone to his voice that made EJ grip the phone tighter as he listened to his father play games with him, "Why would you say such a thing I wonder?"

"Oh come now Father," snapped EJ, not in the mood for this kind of cat and mouse game, "The idea of killing Johnny and Ali's mother on their birthday has a special extra twist of cruelty that could only have been dreamt up by one man. A man who's whole life has been about revenge and death."

"What have I ever done to deserve such vitriol from a son on whom I only ever lavished my love and fortune on?" asked Stefano and EJ gritted his teeth as his father continued to play the innocent, "And speaking of such things Elvis… I have to say how hurt I was that I was not invited to Gianni and Alianna's birthday party. I am after all both of those children's grandfather am I not?"

"Ali's name is Alice," said EJ, knowing he shouldn't be surprised that Stefano knew that Ali was his, "Not Alianna."

"Bah," sniffed Stefano, "Such a common name does not befit a DiMera."

"Well oddly enough you don't get a say in such things," said EJ coolly, "You are never going to be anywhere either Johnny or Ali ever again so it doesn't matter very much what you think of their names now does it Father?"

"Never is a big word Elvis," said Stefano calmly, "And it is a word that I have no use for."

EJ shook his head, astounded by the gall of the man but then no one could ever accuse Stefano DiMera of lacking conviction… insane convictions but nonetheless, convictions. It was clear that Stefano had taken EJ aligning himself with the Brady's as a personal attack and had responded in kind. The three people he had arranged to be at that café explosion were aimed to cut directly at EJ's heart.

The usurping half brother who had taken his fortune and his place in the DiMera empire, the daughter who had urged her siblings to leave him to his coma and Samantha. Stefano knew that this would be the deepest cut for EJ. To lose her or the children would devastate him utterly and it was clear that was what his father had intended. The cruellest of punishments for his so called betrayal. To watch all that he loved in the world fall around him and be left with absolutely nothing. He doubted his father even intended to kill him at all, rather leave him to go through this world as alone and bereft of love as the man himself was.

"So," said Stefano when his son didn't talk for a long minute, "I think it is time father and son are reunited… what do you think eh Elvis? We have much to talk about."

"I agree," said EJ smoothly, "How about we meet somewhere neutral… like a park or something like that?"

"My thoughts exactly," agreed his father, "But I think that this is to be a private reunion Elvis so I have somewhere else in mind. You don't mind do you? Indulging an old man with his little foibles?"

EJ's lips turned up in a humourless smile. His father was far from the doddering old age pensioner he was trying to paint and they both knew it. He knew that this would be no simple meeting and that his father no doubt had an ulterior motive but EJ had to take that chance because things could not go on as they had been. This had to stop and the feeling of him being the only one able to stop this whole vendetta farce returned to him in force.

"Very well," said EJ evenly, "Where and when Father?"

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ checked his watch yet again, seeing that it had just gone past four o'clock and his jaw tightened, knowing it was almost time to meet with Stefano. He'd retained the air of normalcy, having breakfast with the family, coming to work and meeting with clients as if it was any other day. He'd toyed with the idea of informing the police but their record with his father hadn't been the stuff legends were made of and besides, EJ felt as though it was time he and his father had it out once and for all.

For the longest time he'd been very conflicted over his father - a man he'd grown up worshipping only to find that his idol had clay feet. Stefano had come after his family, not once but twice now. First with Lucas as his cohort and now obviously still seeking his revenge. EJ was not prepared for another wave of the vendetta to rip apart their two families and he was prepared to do what it took to stop it.

He'd already done some research on where Stefano had asked to meet him. There was a series of deserted warehouses that littered the Salem docks, far away from the usual busyness of the docks and Stefano had chosen one to meet EJ in. It was highly probable that his father had something in store for him that was unpleasant but EJ was confident that he could either talk or outwit his way out of any situation he might find himself in. And if that wasn't the case there was always his back up plan.

EJ pulled out the bottom drawer of his desk and removed the gun he had stored there and slipped it into his brief case. It never hurt to be prepared after all. His father was not to be underestimated. EJ walked out of his office and smiled at Marcie.

"I'm off Marcie," he told her, "Heading home a bit early today."

"Of course Mr DiMera," she smiled up at him from her desk, "I'll see you tomorrow."

"That you will," said EJ firmly, "That you will."

He walked down the stairs of the law offices he shared with Mickey Horton, forgoing the elevator as was his usual habit. It was now nearly four thirty and he had until five o'clock to meet his father. He knew Stefano would expect him to be early and he was going to be. He'd already told Samantha that he was going to be a bit late home tonight and she'd just nodded and seemed unfazed, used to him often working later nowadays. She'd seemed reserved again this morning and he knew the events of yesterday were finally sinking in for her now.

He'd promised they'd talk when he got home today and EJ was hopeful that he'd be able to tell her there was nothing to worry about anymore - that he'd taken care of the problem. He didn't want her to worry so he hadn't mentioned anything about Stefano's late night phone call. In fact he hadn't told anyone, not even John, doubting his ability to keep anything quiet nowadays. The lights of the car flashed as EJ opened it remotely with his keys and he opened the door and climbed in, folding his long legs into the car as he did. He put the key in the ignition and went to turn it.

"_What the hell do you think you're doing EJ DiMera?!"_

The question shouted in his ear and the sudden movement behind him in the back seat startled EJ, making him jump in his seat which in turned caused him to bang his head on the roof of the car.

"Bloody hell!" he yelled, rubbing his head and turning around to see his wife staring at him with a furious look in his eye, "Samantha - what are you doing there?!"

"I asked first!" she practically spat out at him, her eyes shooting him daggers of death, "Just where exactly do you think you're off to?"

EJ sighed heavily and ruefully gave his head a final rub before dropping his hand down and making a resign face. She knew somehow, he didn't know how but Sami obviously knew what he was up to and to say she wasn't happy about it seemed to be a bit of an understatement.

"You're going to see Stefano aren't you?" she demanded of him, "By yourself, not telling anyone!"

"It seemed like the best plan of attack," said EJ calmly, "And I was prepared."

"Oh really?" she snorted, leaning forward between the two front seats, "You were so prepared that you didn't even notice someone hiding in your back seat! What if I'd been some crazy person lying in wait for you EJ, what then?!"

"You mean other than the crazy person I married?" asked EJ dryly, shaking his head at the resourcefulness of his wife and wondering why he continued to be amazed by it.

"This is so not the time for your little jokes," huffed Sami, clambering into the front passenger seat and glaring at him all over again, "You are on thin ice mister. Thin ice! I can't believe that you are so stupid as to go off and confront Stefano alone! Especially after that little stunt he pulled yesterday!"

"You knew it was him?" asked EJ with an arched eyebrow.

"Oh come on!" said Sami with a roll of her eyes, "I know I didn't go to Cambridge but I don't need letters after my name to see that little horror show had Stefano DiMera's grubby hand prints all over it! Our family has been dealing with the DiMera's for a long time EJ, we know his handiwork when we see it."

"I see," said EJ calmly.

"Besides I came downstairs last night and heard you talking on the phone to him," admitted Sami begrudgingly.

"You listen in on a lot of phone calls," commented EJ wryly, "You don't have a job working for the FBI that I should know about do you?"

"You are not one to talk about keeping secrets EJ DiMera!" she said in annoyance, not willing to join in with his attempts at humour, still mad at him for keeping something like this from her.

"I didn't want to worry you Samantha," said EJ calmly.

"Oh no!" she said sarcastically, "And what could be worrying about my husband's body washing up on the river bank one day?! Spare me EJ!"

"Well first of all," said EJ with a quirk of his eyebrows, "Thank you so much for that vote of confidence in my ability to handle my father… very encouraging I must say."

"Stefano is a deranged killer who will stop at nothing to get what he wants," said Sami hotly, unapologetic of her worry for him, "And that's not you EJ."

"Isn't it?" asked EJ, his face suddenly hard as he wondered exactly to what lengths he would go to protect those whom he loved.

"No it isn't!" she said firmly, "So say what you will but if you're going to do this, I'm coming too EJ!"

"Is that right?" he frowned, very unhappy at this turn of events, "I am _not_ going to allow the mother of my children to put herself in harms way. There is absolutely no chance of that ever happening Samantha so you can just take yourself out of this car this very instance do you hear me?!"

"Well there is no way I'm going to let the father of my children do something so stupid and badly thought out all alone!" she huffed back, "So you can just think again mister!"

They glared at each other than, both fearing for the other's safety and neither backing down. EJ blew out a frustrated breath and attempted to calm down.

"Clearly we're at an impasse here," he began but she interrupted him.

"Don't you go and try and talk me out of this EJ DiMera!" she snapped at him, knowing he was about to try and cajole her into doing what he wanted, "Either we both go or neither of us goes!"

"Samantha!" said EJ, his voice rising as his frustration at her stubbornness began to get the better of him, "You are not coming with me I f…"

EJ swallowed the word 'forbid' before he could go much further, knowing it wasn't going to help his cause but it was too late.

"Forbid me?" she asked sarcastically, folding her arms in front of her chest, "Was that what you were going to say EJ? You forbid me?"

EJ ground his teeth, annoyed with himself for the slip of the tongue and knew he had little chance now to reason with her after that particular red flag to a bull.

"I don't want to see you get hurt Samantha," he said, regrouping and trying a different tact.

"Then I recommend you stop forbidding me from doing things otherwise Stefano is going to be the least of your problems!" she sniffed, giving him the death stare.

"You are the most unreasonable, obstinate, infuriating woman I have ever met!" he said in exasperation, "Why can't you just be sensible about this Samantha? My father wants to see me and me alone. There is no need for you to be involved in this."

"You are my husband!" she said fiercely, hardly able to believe he would say such a thing to her, "Everything you do involves me! We are a team EJ, you and me… and you know what - there is no 'I' in team!"

EJ shook his head at her persistence, caught between being terrified that she was going to be hurt and loving her even more for her fierce fighting spirit.

"But you know when I think about it there is an 'I' in idiot!" she continued on smirk, "In fact there are two!"

"So that would make one 'I' each eh darling?" asked EJ mockingly, teasing her despite the seriousness of their conversation - he just really couldn't help himself when it came to her.

Sami scowled, not liking how that conversation had ended up at all and she shook her head determinedly at him and leant forward, making sure she made her point.

"You are not going anywhere without me EJ," she said flatly, her lips pressed into a thin, determined line.

"You know I could argue the point that I have a definite size and strength advantage and if it came down to it I could simply remove you from the car forcibly," he pointed out to her.

"There are three reasons why that won't work," said Sami smugly, having already thought he might go down this route, "One - if you try that I will scream so loud and make such a scene that every person in Salem is going to down here seeing what is going on."

EJ grimaced, knowing she was well capable of such a thing and that would definitely slow him down somewhat.

"Two - I know exactly when and where you're meeting your father so we can either go together or I'll get a taxi and meet you there," she said, enjoying the upper hand she had over him.

EJ sighed and leant back in his seat, rubbing his face tiredly as he realised that he might not have the power he thought in this conversation.

"And three," she said defiantly, "You're not going anywhere unless I say so because of this!"

Sami pulled out a black lead from the bag she had slung over her shoulder and held up a piece of black electrical cord triumphantly.

"While I was waiting I popped the hood and disable the car so unless you get this back this car isn't going anywhere!" she said proud of herself for thinking ahead like this.

EJ squinted at the piece of cabling she was holding aloft so victoriously and then shook his head before reaching for the key that was still in the ignition and turning it. The car engine instantly roared into life and Sami's exultant expression immediately dropped from her face.

"That's the connection for the horn," he informed her straight faced and to illustrate his point he pushed on the horn and there was nothing but silence to be heard .

"Oh," said Sami, looking decidedly crest fallen at the item in her hand now.

Cars were not really her thing and she'd just opened the hood and grabbed at the first piece of important looking black cabling she'd seen figuring it was going to do the job. Sami looked over at EJ then and the corners of his mouth were turning up in the barest of smiles and she knew he was about to start laughing at her.

"Well it's still illegal to drive with a disconnected horn!" she said hotly, defiant until the end and unwilling to admit defeat.

EJ looked at her and loved her more than he ever thought possible. Every time he thought he'd knew all there was to love about her she showed him something new and impossible to herself and he fell even deeper in love with her.

"If I say you can come along then you have to promise me you'll do _exactly_ as I say," he said to her, hoping he wasn't making the biggest mistake of his life.

"Of course I will," said Sami, feeling a glow of victory at finally getting him to see reason.

EJ sighed and gave in then.

"Unless it's something really stupid," she finished off blithely.

EJ sighed heavily - this was increasingly feeling like a bad idea to him.

"Come on," she prompted him, looking ahead expectantly, "We're burning daylight here, let's go."

"Settle down GI Jane," said EJ with a little smirk, "And buckle up."

"You're not the boss of me," she huffed but did as he said anyway.

"A fact that has been pointed out to me on more than one occasion," he noted wryly as he put the car in gear.

"I can _not_ believe you were about to do something so stupid!" said Sami suddenly, still not completely over her annoyance with him and slapped his arm as hard as she could as she sat beside him.

"Ow!" he complained, putting a hand up to rub his mistreated arm, "That hurt!"

"You wait until I get you home," she said, throwing him a warning look, "There is more where that came from, this isn't over EJ!"

"Promises, promises," he grinned at her, pulling the car away from the curb now.

"Don't you try and charm me," she said, trying not to smile now.

"I wouldn't dare to presume," said EJ straight faced.

"Good," said Sami, "So let's go get the bad guy then and end this fifty year old vendetta thingy already… we have to be back by six to pick up the twins."

EJ smiled then, she made it sound so simple… what could he have possibly been worried about?

**oooOOOOooo**

John suddenly froze, his glass of Scotch halfway to his lips and gave a bit of a shudder.

"What is it John?" asked Marlena as she looked up from sorting through the mail.

"I'VE GOT A BAD FEELING," he announced with a bit of a frown.

Marlena cocked her head at him and waited expectantly for him to continue.

"IT'S PROBABLY SOMETHING I ATE," mused John and took a sip of his Scotch, "MOST LIKELY THE SMOKED HAM."

Marlena blinked and sighed, going back to her mail.

_But as it would turn out… it wasn't the smoked ham after all._


	30. Chapter 30

**Chapter THIRTY**

EJ and Sami pulled up just a little ways away from the warehouse and got out of the car and they started to walk down an alley way to get to the warehouse but EJ stopped her before she could get too far.

"Remember Samantha," he said to her firmly, "You're to do as I say. If it looks like it's going to get dangerous at all you are to get out of there immediately. Do you understand?"

"I understand I'm not going anywhere without my husband," returned Sami just as firmly, "If it looks like it's going badly then we both get the hell out of Dodge… got that EJ?"

"You are the most impossible of creatures Samantha DiMera," he sighed at her with a lop sided smile.

"So you keep saying but you must be a sucker for punishment because I don't see you going anywhere," she smirked back at him.

"I'm beginning to think that may actually be the case," EJ admitted ruefully but then his face became very serious, "Samantha before we do this I need you to promise me you won't do anything to put yourself in harms way. My father is a ruthless, evil man and I don't want you to provoke him anymore than he already is."

"I'm not going to do anything stupid," said Sami with a roll of her eyes as he fretted over her and then made a thoughtful face, "… probably."

"Samantha!" said EJ in agitation, "This is serious - I don't want you getting hurt in any way!"

"Look I'm not going to make promises I can't keep," shrugged Sami unapologetically, "You and I both know that my track record is not the best."

"Okay, that's it," said EJ with a shake of his head, "You can't come. Wait in the car for me and if I'm not back in fifteen minutes call the police."

"Oh great idea honey and while I'm waiting I can maybe whip up a quilt, make some brownies and warm up your slippers while I wait for my big strong man to return from the mammoth hunt!" she said sarcastically, giving him a decidedly unimpressed look.

"That's seems like a lot to shoot for in fifteen minutes," said EJ straight faced, "Why don't you just make the brownies… although on second thought I'm about to face down death in a minute… I'm not sure my luck will hold out against your cooking as well."

"You are just begging for me to put the smack down on you aren't you EJ DiMera?" she asked him, shaking her head at his carry on in disbelief, "Like you don't have enough problems with your homicidal father! I'm warning you… you do _not_ want to get on the wrong side of me as well!"

EJ just smiled back at her. He should be taking this a lot more seriously. After all they were about to meet with a man who had just attempted to blow half of their family up just yesterday and that was in no way the worse thing he'd ever done. It was just that when he was with Samantha everything else seemed to become less important somehow. But this was a very dangerous situation they were walking into and he made himself focus.

"Samantha," he said softly, his face etched with worry.

"I will be careful," she finished for him, "You will be careful and we will deal with your crazed father and then we will go home to our babies."

EJ smiled then, amazed yet again by the fight in this woman.

"… and then I'll make you a cake and you will sit down and eat every last crumb," she continued on very seriously, "… or die trying! Then we'll see who gets the last laugh about my cooking!"

"Well that's certainly gives me something to look forward to then," said EJ ironically.

"Oh stop your complaining," she said with a flick of her hair and turned around, heading towards where they were to meet Stefano.

Sami gave him a sly look back over her shoulder at him then.

"And if you're a good boy I'll let you eat it in bed," she said with a coy look back at him.

"And if I'm a bad boy?" asked EJ greatly intrigued by this scenario now as he hurried to catch up with her.

"Then I'll let you eat it in bed…" she purred, looking up at him through her eye lashes as he fell into step beside her, "… off my naked body."

"Now that," sighed EJ happily, imagining himself doing just that, "Is a highly motivating technique you've got there Mrs DiMera."

"Well I haven't had any complaints yet," she smirked and he grinned back down at her.

Sami felt EJ take her arm then and welcomed the comfort of his touch. The truth was she was scared out of her mind and their playful banter had helped to distract her from that fear. EJ had frightened her so much when she'd realised what he was planning – going off to see his father without a word to anyone. Stefano was capable of anything and she knew that he wouldn't hesitate to kill his own son and after all they'd been through to be together there was no way in hell that Sami was going to let that happen!

Stefano had been the bogey man from her childhood - the dark figure that you checked under your bed for every night. He'd terrorised her family for so long now and it was hard to separate herself from her childhood fears but she wasn't a child any longer. She was a grown woman and she had a lot to lose and Sami Brady DiMera wasn't in the habit of losing… at least not very easily. If Stefano DiMera thought he could just come in here and rip her family apart then he had another thing coming. The one thing she knew for sure was that she and EJ together were a hard combination to best. There might come a day when someone would… but today wasn't going to be that day!

EJ snuck a look at his wife as they walked along and saw the steely determination in her face and wondered at her bravery. He knew she must be afraid for all her bravado but she wasn't going to let him see that. She was just amazing. They were at the warehouse door now and he pushed on the door, focusing all of his attention on what the next few minutes might bring. He still hated it that she was here. EJ wanted Sami tucked up safely at home with the twins so that no harm could come to her but that was not the woman he married. No, he married a hellion and there was a price to pay for that. Like being almost sick with fear that she was going to get hurt but he couldn't let that overtake him now. His father was not a man to be trifled with and he needed to come out on top in this encounter. EJ was determined that today would be the end of all this hatred and violence… one way or the other.

The room was dim and dusty. Boxes were stacked up on demountable shelving all around but it didn't look like anyone had bothered with the place for a long time. Sami and EJ stood there for a long minute, looking around and letting their eyes adjust to the dimness. They looked at each other and then back around them.

"Father?" called out EJ, his voice echoing back on him in the large space.

There was no answer and EJ had a sudden feeling of unease. What if his father had lured him here only so that the rest of his family was unprotected? The nasty thought burrowed into EJ's brain and he frowned, suddenly wondering if his had been the best plan of attack after all.

"Do you think he's not going to show?" asked Sami in confusion, "Maybe he realised it was a stupid idea and is just toying with us?"

"Oh he's undoubtedly toying with us," said EJ flatly, still looking round and then his eyes finally made out something in the gloom, "Isn't that right Father?"

Sami wheeled round to see what EJ was looking at and made herself swallow the gasp of surprise, not wanting to show the man emerging from the shadows any weakness.

"Hello my son," said Stefano, leaning on his cane and walking out slowly from where he'd been observing them quietly, hidden away in the darkness, "How good it is to see you in the flesh at last. And you've brought Samantha, so delightful to see you my dear. You look very well, obviously being a DiMera agrees with you – what do you say eh Elvis – doesn't Samantha look beautiful today?"

Sami cringed internally at the way he said her name. It was like being grabbed by a cold and clammy hand somehow and had none of the warmth and tenderness that his son had when her name fell from his lips.

"My wife looks beautiful every day," said EJ smoothly, his tone giving nothing away and Sami envied his ability to sound so in control and calm.

"This is indeed a family reunion is it not?" smiled Stefano, leaning a little more heavily on his cane now as they talk, "Now if only you had thought to bring Gianni and Alianna with you then I would be a contented man indeed."

"You are never getting anywhere near my babies!" spat Sami, any thoughts of composure gone at the mention of her children, "You stole them last time and basically auctioned one off! It was beyond horrible how you tried to tear our family apart! And her name is Ali!"

"I merely enabled a loving father to have access to his daughter," shrugged Stefano unapologetically, "I don't see the great horror in that Samantha. How was I to know that Lucas Horton was not the father of that little girl when you yourself did not eh? I was trying to bring a family together, not tear anything apart. And as for Gianni – do you begrudge him knowing his grandfather Samantha? After all, I raised the man that stands beside you, the man you claim to love now so perhaps I was not such a terrible father as you would like to make me out to be?"

"But I thought I was such a disappointment to you Father?" pointed out EJ sarcastically, "Isn't that what you keep telling me?"

"I will admit," sighed Stefano, giving his son a hard look, "I have been unhappy with many of your choices in these last couple of years Elvis. But as a loving father I have tried to gently correct your ways and show you the folly of your choices."

"Gently correct?!" exclaimed Sami hotly, "You tried to blow me up yesterday!"

"Up," corrected EJ automatically and then shook his head, realising that was unnecessary and sent her an apologetic look, "Sorry sweetheart, force of habit around Uncle John."

"Ah my _brother_," purred Stefano, "How is he? Is he still enjoying my fortune and power? I noticed I did not get so much as one visit from him in hospital. He takes all that is mine and does not even bother with a thank you note. I can not abide that kind of rudeness."

"Maybe he thought it was fair exchange for you killing him and then bringing him back to life and wiping away all of his memories," spat out Sami, defending the man she'd grown strangely attached to.

"Do not talk to me of fairness young woman!" snapped Stefano, "My children left me to rot in a hospital bed when it was within their power to help me!"

"Perhaps your children would have been less inclined to do so if you'd treated them better," said EJ sharply, "You left Tony on an island for twenty years, Lexie you locked up in a cellar for months on end…"

"And you my son?" interrupted Stefano harshly, "What great injustice did I deliver on your head eh? I gave you everything Elvis, everything! And yet still you repaid me with betrayal and this contempt I see in your eyes. God forbid Gianni should grow up and look at you with this same look in his eyes Elvis, god forbid!"

"That won't happen because I won't raise Johnny to think he is the centre of the universe," said EJ, his lips thinning in anger, "That he is entitled to take what he wants, when he wants, uncaring of who he hurts as he does! My son is going to understand what loving someone more than yourself means and to put other people first rather than his own selfish needs. Oh you gave me everything Father for sure, everything except for a character to be proud of. You raised me in arrogance and blind, unquestioning loyalty. But my eyes are open now Father - I have seen the horrors you've visited on this world, on the Brady's and even the family you claim is everything to you and it is enough!"

"Enough!" roared Stefano, his face flushing in anger, "Who are you to tell me that it is enough! You have aligned yourself with the enemy Elvis and all for what? The love of a woman and a Brady woman at that, bah! You're weakness sickens me! Just like your brother, you let your heart rule your head and just like your brother it will be your undoing!"

"No," said EJ sharply, shaking his head, "It was my salvation. I never knew love until Samantha loved me and I pity you Father because standing here… standing here and looking at the twisted monster all those years of revenge and hatred have turned you into… I realise that you have never known this kind of love - the kind of love that can change your whole world and heal all of your wounds. A love that you must only set free to really understand and know. Your whole life has been about grasping for love and holding onto it so tightly that you either strangle it or it slips through your fingers."

"_You_ pity _me_?!" gasped Stefano, hardly able to believe his ears, "You presumptuous little upstart! Who are you to pity me Elvis?"

"I'm a man who has learnt there is more to life than a ridiculous fifty year old vendetta that no one can win Father!" said EJ tersely, "And seeing as you can not seem to stop yourself from blindly carrying out the wishes of a man crippled by his own pain…"

"You leave my father out of this!" roared Stefano, "He was a better man than you will ever be Elvis!"

"No," said EJ with a sad shake of his head, "He was a man who knew what it was to love absolutely and then he lost that love and wrecking havoc on the descendants of the ones Santo held responsible for that changes nothing Father. Santo and Colleen's love story was a tragic one but all this pain and suffering you have visited on the Brady's because of it changes nothing. They are both dead now… please Father, it is time to let them rest in peace now."

"Never!" shouted Stefano, "It was my father's dying wish that every Brady in this world should know the pain of losing loved ones. There is no end to that, there will never be enough suffering to make up for what was done to my father by the Brady's!"

"Are you kidding me?" asked Sami in horror, "Tell me you're kidding me?!"

Sami had been listening quietly to the exchange between father and son but could no longer hold her tongue. Her heart had swelled in her chest with pride as she'd listened to EJ speak about love and she marvelled even more at the man he become… especially as she looked at the man he'd come from. Stefano, as if she'd ever needed any more proof, was insane. So consumed with his hatred and vitriol for the Brady's that he couldn't see past that… not even a little.

"You have put my family through decades of hell!" said Sami, her eyes filling with angry tears now and she wiped them away quickly, not wanting him to see them as a sign of weakness, "I grew up half my life without a mother and the other half without a father thanks to you! You have messed with my family so badly, tortured each one of us in so many ways that there are just no words. How can you compare that to what happened to Santo and Colleen?! Santo lied to Colleen - he brought it all on himself and now you expect us to pay and keep on paying?! When is it going to be enough for you Stefano?"

"It's never going to be enough is it Father?" said EJ quietly, looking at his father, "That is why you leave me with no choice."

EJ reached into his jacket and pulled out the gun he had holstered there and pointed it at his father. Sami gasped, not having expected him to be armed but Stefano looked unfazed.

"So it has come to this," he mused, eyeing his son calmly, "The son turns on the father and now you are going to kill me is that it Elvis? The final act of betrayal?"

"I'm not going to kill you Father," said EJ determinedly holding the gun at Stefano's chest, "But you are going to come with us and we're going to drive to the police station and you're going to turn yourself in. It's time you paid for all of your crimes."

"So this is your plan then," pondered Stefano, looking back at the two of them steadily, "Do you remember what I always told you was the most important thing in this life Elvis?"

"Family," supplied EJ readily, his gaze unwavering and ready for whatever his father was about to throw at him… or so he thought.

"That's right," nodded Stefano, "Family - it is all that matters. I wonder my son how well you have learnt that lesson?"

"You can not make me feel badly about turning you in Father," he said evenly, "It's the right thing to do."

"Eh," said Stefano with a little wave of his hand, "So you say. But I wasn't talking about me Elvis. I was just wondering when it came down to it… where your true allegiance lies. With this new found sense of right and wrong or with the love of family?"

"He's just stalling EJ," said Sami with a frustrated shake of her head, "Let's just take him and get out of here. My Dad's going to be real happy when we show up and deposit you on his doorstep Stefano!"

She gave a little victorious smirk then, proud of her husband for taking this route although she wouldn't have been totally against the whole shooting him where he stood thing. But EJ was right - there had been enough blood shed and as long as Stefano DiMera was out of the picture all the violence could end here and now.

"Ah," said Stefano with a little quirk of his lips, "The certainty… and folly… of youth."

"What does that mean?" scowled Sami, "You've got no out Stefano, this is it - your reign of terror is over."

"Perhaps you might be a little less certain of that if you made and attempt to listen a little more carefully to what is going on around you Mrs DiMera?" suggested Stefano quite calmly.

EJ and Sami looked at each other and gave a little frown and that was when they heard it… off in the distance.

"Did you hear that?" asked EJ, cocking his head and trying to listen over the sound of the river outside, "What was that?"

Sami squinted, listening intently and the sound came again and this time it was unmistakeable. It was a woman calling out off in the distance, obviously in distress.

"It looks like you have a decision to make my son," said Stefano, his eyes hard, "Do you want your revenge on me or would you rather save someone you purport to love eh?"

"EJ!" said Sami urgently, grabbing his arm, "That's Lexie's voice!"

EJ heard the muffled cries of help coming from one of the nearby warehouses behind them and realised that she was right.

"She's your daughter!" exclaimed EJ in real horror as he began to realise what his father had done, unable to imagine ever doing anything to even remotely hurt Ali, "How could you harm her Father?!"

"She abandoned me to die in that hospital bed," said Stefano bitterly, "I have no daughter."

"EJ we have to help her!" said Sami desperately and EJ knew she was right.

As much as he wanted to take his father in and have him thrown in jail he couldn't abandon his only sister to do it and the knowing smirk on Stefano's face told him he knew it.

"This isn't over Father," said EJ, as he started to back up, keeping his eyes on Stefano even as he moved towards the door of the warehouse they were standing in.

"I agree," said Stefano with a cold smile, "You will know when this is over Elvis."

He and Sami were at the door now and with a frustrated shake of his head EJ moved out of the building, racing over with Sami to a nearby warehouse where they could hear Lexie's groans for help. They ran into the building, squinting to see in the dusty darkness. It seemed to have been an old workshop or some kind but it hadn't been used for a long time by the condition it was in. broken bits of wood and scraps of metal littered the area and it was hard to see much of anything, especially as the sun was starting to wan as the afternoon drew to a close.

"Lexie!" called out EJ, looking around but unable to see her.

There was an answering groan from a pile of rubbish in the centre of the large room and Sami and EJ immediately headed towards the sound. There was a large pile of heaped up beams, metal parts and general rubble, bricks and other building waste.

"Lexie!" called out Sami again as they couldn't immediately see her, "Lexie."

The faintest of groans answered them. Sami was standing closest to where it had come from and she grabbed at one of the heavy beams from that location and tried to lift it away, her eye caught by something and she gave a horrified gasp.

"Hold on Samantha," said EJ as he came to stand beside her and grabbed the beam.

He saw what she was looking at then. It was the tip of a woman's shoe and Sami had recognised it immediately as a favourite pair of Lexie's.

"Oh god," she gasped, putting a stunned hand to her mouth, "He's buried her alive."

EJ's blood ran cold as he looked at Sami, taking in her wide eyed expression of horror. With his greater strength he lifted the beam that Sami had been trying to move to one side. The shoe was still a bit away from them but with the beam out of the way they were able to see a little better through the pile of rubble. Now they could clearly see a small portion of leg as well. It was dirty and covered in blood. Suddenly a whimper came from the where the leg was resting. Sami and EJ both tensed.

"We're coming Lexie!" he said urgently, "Hold on!"

There was no response this time and EJ felt his stomach muscles clench anxiously. He needed to get all of this rubble off her but there was so much of it and from where he could see Lexie's leg she was buried pretty deeply under it so he was very worried that he was going to hurt her if he did. If any of these heavy beams or pieces of metal shifted in the wrong place she could be crushed to death even as he was trying to save her.

Sami straightened up from where she had been bending down in an attempt to get closer to where they could see Lexie's leg sticking out from the debris and started to move over to where EJ was standing. As she stepped over a log to get to EJ she momentarily lost her footing on some loose rubble and began to fall forward, stopping when she banged into his chest. He immediately grabbed out to steady her with both hands on her arms, standing very close to her between the logs and debris.

"Sorry," she mumbled her apology, rubbing her nose where she'd made contact with his chest with it, "Can't see where I am going. EJ we need to call 911 and get some help down here, fast. Lexie has stopped talking and I don't know if we can get all this stuff off her in time and without hurting her more."

EJ was about to agree when he heard a loud "thwanging" noise. He was still holding onto Sami's arms when he felt her flinch and a split second later he flinched as well as something cut through the flesh along his right side. Time stopped for a moment; Samantha staring at him with wide blue eyes.

_And then… then the sky fell. _


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter THIRTY ONE**

EJ lost his grip on Samantha as he was pummelled with falling wood and stones, tumbling into blackness. He wasn't sure how long he had been out when his eyes opened again but he didn't think it had been too long because it wasn't really any darker then before.. before what, what had just happened exactly?

He looked up and saw the patchy roof of the building over head, much further over head then it had been a few moments before. The roof hadn't fallen down he realised, they had. The ground must have given way somehow and now he and Sami were down another level in and looking up at the floor they'd been standing on about twenty feet above them. It seemed to be an enclosed space - like a basement or something like that but it was filled now with the debris that had been heaped above and had tumbled down with them.

_Oh god, Samantha!_

"Samantha!" he yelled out and started to cough from all of the dust that he had breathed in.

"Samantha!"

Frantically his eyes searched the gloom for her.

"She's okay, she's okay," he repeated in his head, not being able to process the thought that she might not be.

"EJ."

He heard her weak voice only a few feet from where he was standing and he started to tear at the rubble in front of him.

"Samantha, you alright?" he asked, unable to keep the panic out of his voice as he dug away at the barrier between them.

"Yes, I think so," she said weakly, "What about you?"

"I'm okay," he replied distractedly, intent on reaching her.

His shoulder hurt like hell and his side stung a bit from whatever it was that had cut him before they fell but he wasn't going to tell her that. He kept digging, he wasn't going to be truly okay until he could see her and make sure that she wasn't hurt.

"EJ, can you see Lexie?"

Damn, he had been so worried about Samantha that he had momentarily forgotten about his sister. EJ looked around and saw an arm sticking out from the debris.

_Oh god no!_

"I think I can see her", EJ said, not wanting to say anything more than that to Sami just then, not wanting to worry her more than she had to be.

"Leave me, I'm fine," said Sami, "Check on her."

EJ glanced at where he had been digging and back over to the where he had seen Lexie's arm. He was torn, every cell in his body was screaming at him to get to Sami but Lexie was his sister.

"Go," she encouraged him from underneath the rubble, knowing he would be hesitating, "I promise you I'm fine EJ - check on Lexie."

EJ grimaced at the impossible choice but Samantha really did sound alright rather amazingly so he did as she told him. As he got closer to where he'd seen Lexie's arm and something didn't look quite right. The way her arm was lying look odd, as though it had been broken in the fall. the thought was a sickening one to EJ. He reached out to touch her hand and instead of feeling warm flesh he felt a hard, cold smoothness.

_What was this?_

He tugged on the arm gently and to his horror it came away in his hand. EJ looked down and saw that he wasn't holding a human arm but rather a mannequin's arm. It was well made and he could see how he and Sami had mistook it for the real thing earlier, in the poor light and covered in dirt. EJ closed his eyes, relieved to find that it wasn't Lexie after all. At least that meant she was safe… hopefully. EJ frowned as he moved closer to where he'd pulled the arm from and the rest of 'Lexie's' body. He pulled it out and started to look at it. In one of the pockets of the jacket there was a wireless microphone.

_Son of a bitch! _

The irony didn't escape EJ that this was a trick he himself had once pulled with a certain ex-husband of Samantha's.

"EJ, did you find her, is she okay?"

"It's alright Samantha," he called back to her, trying to keep the frustrated anger out of his voice,

"It was a dummy."

"What are you talking about?" asked Sami, she was starting to worry that her husband had hit his head and was talking gibberish, "Did you hit your head?"

"No, my head is fine, we've been tricked," said EJ grimly, "This whole thing is a set up, Lexie was never here - just some mannequin dressed like her that had a microphone in it so we would think we were talking to Lexie."

EJ was making his way back to Sami; his anger and frustration building as he let what he was saying seep in to his consciousness. When he got out of here he was going to track down his father and make him pay for this. Was there no end to this man's capacity for evil?!

"So, what are you saying, that this was all a trap, that Stefano set all this up to trap us?" Sami's voice started to sound a little shaky at the very thought.

EJ cursed himself inwardly as he heard the worry in Sami's voice. This was not the way to put her at ease. Obviously this had been Stefano's plan all along - to lure whoever had turned up today to their meeting into this trap. That was why he had seemed almost pleased to see Samantha - another fly to get caught in his web. In fact the twisted old bastard was probably sad that EJ hadn't bought more people with him! But there would be time enough to sort out his father later. The first thing he needed to do was get Sami out from underneath all the debris.

"Hold on Samantha, I'll be right there," said EJ, trying to sound comforting as he resumed digging, "Whatever my father's intentions were he's not going to win, I promise you that."

A few moments later he cleared enough rubble to be able to see her. An overwhelming sense of relief filled him when he first caught sight of her. She was lying down in a little hollow. The beams of wood had fallen in such a way that she had actually a little shelter around her. EJ kept digging, not taking his eyes off of her, searching for any injury. Apart from a few bumps and bruises she looked okay. He almost wept with relief.

EJ moved the last of the obstructions out of the way and crouched down into the little alcove she lay in. She looked as reassured to see him as he felt to see her. Sami stretched out her hand and EJ immediately grabbed it. His eyes followed the length of her body looking for injuries. Her legs had several beams of wood lying over them and EJ instantly felt his worry return. Sami saw where he was looking and tried to assure him.

"It's okay I think, I can wiggle my legs and they feel fine, except above my left knee. That hurts a bit but otherwise I think that my legs are just trapped," she said quickly.

EJ nodded grimly and gave her hand a squeeze. Letting go of her hand he stood and grabbed the first plank of wood and lifted it off. This exposed the top part of Sami's legs and EJ could see why her knee was hurting. A large gash about six inches long had been opened up and blood was steadily seeping from it.

"Damn!" he said as he started to undo his belt to make a tourniquet to help stop the blood loss from her wound, he then took off his jacket and folded it to apply some pressure to the gash. EJ winced as she flinched but knew he had to stop the blood loss.

"Thanks," said Sami smiling weakly when he was done and EJ smiled reassuringly at her in response.

His hand went to his pants pocket and he pulled out his cell phone.

"I'm calling for help," he said determinedly, "We're going to be out of here in no time sweetheart. Don't worry."

Sami nodded bravely and watched as EJ dialled 911. He grimaced then and held out the phone, seeing that he wasn't getting a signal. EJ moved around, holding the phone out in front of him and praying to see even one bar on his screen but it wasn't to be.

"EJ?" said Sami eventually and this time there was definitely an anxious tinge to Sami's voice.

"No signal," said EJ grimly, giving up and pocketing the phone, "Must be all of this metal around - the signal just can't get through."

EJ saw Sami bit her lip worriedly and moved to comfort her, putting a hand on her back.

"How you feeling?" he asked softly.

"Not too bad, leg aches a bit and something cut my side before I fell and I am freezing but apart from that I'll live," said Sami making herself sound determinedly up beat despite the blow about the phone signal.

EJ nodded slowly, searching her face intently for any sign that she might be holding something back from him.

"Really EJ, stop worrying, I've cut myself worse shaving my legs," she said, try to lighten his mood.

"Then you need to get yourself a new razor or start waxing or something," he responded with a half smile.

Sami smiled back at him but before she could answer there was movement from above.

"Hey!" yelled EJ, not sure who it might be but hoping it was help, "Down here!"

No answer except the sound of metal moving. A silhouette appeared above them briefly and EJ immediately recognised Stefano's outline. Stefano moved a little so he was in the light.

"Father!" said EJ, trying to keep his voice calm but there was a definite edge of urgency to it, "What are you doing?"

"I am repaying my son for his many kindnesses to me," said Stefano flatly.

"Don't do this Father," said EJ, his voice tight, "You can't leave us here to die."

"Like you didn't leave me in that hospital bed?" asked Stefano bitterly.

"I could have killed you before," said EJ, trying to reason with the man, "But I couldn't… because you are my father."

"Bah!" dismissed Stefano easily, "You couldn't kill me because you are weak Elvis."

"Why, because I don't find the taking of a life so easy as you do Father?" asked EJ sourly, fighting with him even though he knew it wasn't a good idea considering the position he was in, "At least you are doing this yourself. I guess I should feel privileged that the great Stefano DiMera is actually getting his hands dirty! Usually you leave this kind of thing to your underlings eh Father?!"

"Some things are too important," said Stefano sourly, "You're kind of treachery Elvis deserves nothing less than this."

"Do not do this," said EJ with a determined shake of his head, "Father… please. Think of your grand children… what you're doing to their parents."

"I have plans for Gianni and Alianna that do not involve you or that Brady woman who turned you against me," said Stefano sharply and he moved so EJ could see his face properly now as he stood above him on the edge of their prison.

"You leave my children alone!" said EJ harshly, his heart hammering erratically in his chest at the thought of Stefano being anywhere near them.

"You no longer have a say in their welfare Elvis," said Stefano, his voice so emotionless he could have been talking about the weather now, "You wanted to know when it was over… well my son… it is over now. You have your precious Samantha… the woman who made you turn your back on me… on your birthright. Am I not a generous and loving father to grant your last moments on this earth to be with your 'true love' eh Elvis?"

Father and son looked at each other and for the first time EJ felt a real flare of hatred for his father. Stefano saw it and a humourless smile came to his face.

"At last my son understands," he said and made a distasteful face, "The strength that comes with hating something so much. But it is too little too late Elvis. You have chosen your fate and now you must live with it… or should that be die with it eh my son?"

Stefano stepped back then and EJ heard a noise of metal scraping from above before there was suddenly two large pieces of metal sliding across above him, slowly moving towards each other. He was locking them in, covering up the opening above them and sealing Sami and him underneath the floor in the makeshift tomb.

"NO!" yelled EJ again as the metal sheet slide across the opening above them.

The light became dimmer as the metal made its way across and then suddenly it clanged as it totally closed off the area above. Sami and EJ looked at one another in horror. They were locked in, no way to communicate to the outside world and no one knew where they were. Even if someone had managed to track them her it was a pretty big area to look and now there wouldn't even be a hole to look for, it would just look like part of the floor.

_This was bad… this was very, very bad._


	32. Chapter 32

**Chapter THIRTY TWO**

John stood in the doorway to the living room and frowned deeply. The ringing in his ears was getting worse not better. Maybe he should see someone about that. He undid the top button on his shirt to see if that helped but rather oddly it didn't.

"John," said Marlena, sweeping past him into the room and throwing him an exasperated look over her shoulder, "The phone is ringing."

She made it to the phone just in time and picked it up. The ringing in John's ears stopped then… looks like the shirt thing worked after all. It was probably restricting blood flow to his head or something and just needed a minute to settle he mused to himself, taking a seat. He turned his head and he didn't need his lip reading ability to see that whatever Blondie was hearing had upset her.

"WHAT IS IT?" he asked her when she'd hung up and she shushed him distractedly.

"That was Caroline!" she told him loudly, "Sami was meant to pick the twins up twenty minutes ago and she hasn't turned up. She tried both EJ and Sami's phone but they weren't answering. Maybe I should try and ring them?"

"MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY AND RING THEM!" suggested John stoically and Marlena rolled her eyes and nodded at him.

After trying both numbers repeatedly and having no luck she was beginning to become more anxious.

"I can't get through to either of them," she told John, her face etched with concern, "I'm worried. After yesterday… something could have happened to them."

John frowned to see her so upset, his jaw tensing.

"THAT SEEMS PRETTY LIKELY," he agreed with her which oddly enough only seemed to upset her more.

"What should we do John?" asked Marlena with an fretful frown.

John thought about that for a brief minute and then gave a decisive nod.

"I KNOW SOMEONE WHO MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP!" he said far too loudly.

John pulled out his cell phone and scrolled through the names until he found the number he wanted and then dialled it. He put the phone to his ear and gave Marlena a reassuring look.

"I'VE GOT IT ALL UNDER CONTROL BLONDIE," he comforted her noisily, "DON'T WORRY ABOUT A THING."

Marlena's confidence in him was put to the test though when heard the sound of someone picking up on the other end of the phone and talking while John just stood their silently, oblivious to it all. Having a man with temporary deafness making phone calls was probably not going to be the best way to go about things.

"John," sighed Marlena as she heard a man shouting hello's even from where she was standing.

"WAIT!" said John, holding up a hand to still her as she moved to take the phone off him, "I THINK IT'S STILL RINGING… GIVE IT A MINUTE!"

Marlena rolled her eyes and took the phone off John.

"Hello," she said into the receiver, "This is Marlena Evans, to whom am I speaking please?"

"Bill Newman ma'am," replied the man, "Pleasure to make your acquaintance."

"Mr Newman," said Marlena, recognising the man's name from the stories that EJ and John had told her in New Orleans, "We think we may have a bit of a situation and were wondering if you'd be able to help us?"

**oooOOOOooo**

It had been several minutes since the lid had been put on their prison. That was definitely what this was because Stefano had gone to great lengths to ensure that they were going to end up here. Sami looked around and realised that they had actually fallen down into a large metal container that someone had placed in the ground for whatever reason some time ago. It was about 20x15 feet and the ceiling was about 20 feet above their heads. Way too high to climb up even if the metal sheet wasn't they're to stop them getting out.

EJ had started to recover from his shock at his father twisted treachery and began to try and remove more of the logs from over and around Sami's legs. But as he moved them more rubble became dislodged and started to fall on them both.

"Stop EJ!" coughed Sami, covering her nose and mouth with her hand to protect against the sudden flurry of dust he'd disturbed, "You are going to get us more buried then we already are."

Frustrated EJ stopped what he was doing.

"Do your legs still feel alright?" he asked anxiously, moving closer to her again.

"Yes, they feel fine, I promise you I will tell you if they don't," Sami answered him reassuringly.

"You'd better," he said, his brown eyes holding hers very seriously.

"Why does he keep doing this?" Sami asked hopelessly.

"My father only understands revenge and hatred," said EJ bitterly, "He knows no other way to be."

Sami closed her eyes, suddenly exhausted with how long this feud had been going on - her entire life it had dogged her and now it seemed as though Stefano might have finally have won.

"We are going to get out of this Samantha," EJ told her when he saw her look hopeless for a minute and there was such assuredness in his voice that she felt instantly better.

"I know," she said softly.

"It's only a matter of time before they are going to miss us," said EJ determinedly, "You were meant to pick up the twins twenty minutes ago from Caroline's and she is probably already ringing your father as we speak. Every cop in the district is going to be swarming over this area in the next couple of hours, all we have to do is sit tight, keep warm and wait to be rescued."

"Sounds like a plan," said Sami, trying to sound confident as well and not dwelling on the fact that no one actually knew where to start looking for them, "Especially the keeping warm part."

EJ was instantly concerned, it was getting colder as night started to fall and she had lost heaven only knows how much blood from her wound.

"Cold?" he asked her with gentle concern.

She nodded mutely, feeling her teeth begin to chatter a little.

EJ sat down beside her and wrapped his arms around her, rubbing up and down her arms to try and get some blood circulating back into her freezing limbs.

"You know, the best way to share body warmth with someone is to be completely naked and get into a sleeping bag together," EJ said teasingly, trying to distract her from the cold as he felt her begin to shiver.

Sami snorted in a rather unladylike fashion.

"How many guys do you suppose have tried that line on women to try and get them naked?" she asked him.

"You know us guys," replied EJ cheekily, "We live in hope."

"And die in reality," responded Sami dryly.

"Fine, but don't say I never try and do anything nice for you Mrs DiMera," he said, pretending to be miffed.

"My hero," she teased him.

"I try," he said smugly.

EJ looked at his watch, 6:04pm. Incredible, they had only been down there for a little over twenty minutes; it already felt like a lifetime ago. EJ slouched down a bit so he could rest his cheek on top of her head, holding her to him and feeling the familiar comfort of having her in his arms. What was it about her that made him feel that everything was going to be okay? Even when they were having one of their legendary arguments he still felt the safest and most secure when he was with her. That no matter what was said, they would always find a common ground to return to.

When they had fallen through the floor like that and he had felt her wrenched from his grasp and for those few moments he had been filled with a terrifying dread. What if he had lost her then? Never to have her arguing with him again, laughing with him, never to hear his name on her lips again. He didn't know if he would have been able to live with that kind of loss.

"EJ?" her soft voice interrupted his reverie.

"Yes Samantha?" he answered her quietly.

"I am glad you're here with me," she said a little unevenly.

She echoed his thoughts of a few moments ago.

"I mean… I'm not glad we're here," she said hastily, "But if we have to be I'm glad we're together."

"Where else would I be, we are a team aren't we?" he reminded her of her earlier words.

"Yeah, we are," Sami answered softly and snuggled back against him more comfortably even as she felt him wrap his arms more tightly around her.

**oooOOOOooo**

After John had spoken to Mr Newman through a rather messy and loud process of him bellowing his questions to Marlena and her relaying back the other man's answers they'd work out where Sami and EJ might possibly be. It appeared EJ had rung Mr Newman earlier in the day to check out an address on the waterfront which he'd done. They were no more than abandoned warehouses and EJ hadn't given a reason for his interest but it seemed as good as place as any to start looking. After thanking Mr Newman for his help and hanging up Marlena saw that John had walked out of the room to grab his coat from the hall closet before returning.

"John," said Marlena anxiously, putting her hand on his arm to stop him as he went to move past her, "What are you going to do?"

John looked back at her, a resolute look on his face.

"ROLF!" he called out, not answering her immediately, "BRING THE CAR ROUND AND THROW SMOKEY IN THE BACK SEAT…"

Marlena looked at him wide eyed and John continued on.

"… I'M GOINg to go AND GET OUR KIDs and brING THEM HOME!" he announced confidently, holding Marlena's gaze steadily.

He gave her a determined nod then and pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

"DON'T WORRY!" he practically shouted into her face and Marlena blinked dazedly.

She watched as John headed purposefully out of the room, followed by Rolf and shook her head.

A brain damaged, hearing impaired amnesiac, a mad Austrian scientist and possibly a peacock possessed by Beelzebub going out to rescue Sami and EJ from the clutches of a complete mad man…

_That could there possibly be to worry about wondered Marlena faintly?_


	33. Chapter 33

**Chapter THIRTY THREE**

"He is so warm," Sami thought to herself as she moved closer to EJ.

Sometimes she would be standing next to him and she could actually feel his body warmth radiating out, like a physical touch. What is up with that, what could he possibly need all that warmth for? Mind you, she wasn't complaining right now. Not that she would admit it to  
EJ but between the shock of the fall, the dropping temperature and her blood loss she was really starting to get cold. That bad kind of cold that you fall asleep from and then never wake up. Maybe EJ's naked idea wasn't such a bad one after all, anything to stop this cold getting a grip of her.

She felt herself starting to get tired but forced herself to keep her eyes open. She thought of Will and Ali and Johnny how she had to get home to them, that she couldn't leave them without a mother and it gave her renewed strength. She felt EJ's arms tighten around her as he reached down in front of her to encircle her freezing hands between his own warm ones. She had meant what she said earlier, that she was glad that he was there with her. EJ had such a strong physical presence and that combined with his even stronger personality always seemed to fill any room they were in. It filled this prison room they were in now and it brought a strange sense of comfort to her.

Together they were always stronger then when they were apart, instinctively picking up each others weaknesses and matching them with each others strengths. Sami just knew that being together would save them again in this situation. It had to, she wasn't ready to die yet. She suddenly noticed she seemed to be getting colder, not warmer as the minutes ticked by and wondered why. She could still feel the heat still emanating from EJ but something else seemed to be cancelling it out but what was it?

Sami suddenly realised that while they had been sitting there water had started to seep into the room and it was starting to pool around her. The water was freezing; it must be coming from the river outside somehow. Just when she thought that this couldn't get any worse, it had!

"Bloody hell!"

EJ had just noticed the water at the same time.

"Where is that coming from?" he asked, looking around them now.

Unwrapping himself from Sami he stood and started to look around to see if he could see the source of the water.

"Oh no," Sami heard him say.

"What is it, what is wrong?" she asked anxiously.

"You are not going to believe this," he said flatly.

EJ had walked over to the just beside where Sami was lying and after moving some debris he saw that there was a grill in the wall and it was starting to run with water. Just above it there was a metal door about three feet square with a lever beside it. It was starting to drip with water as well but the metal door kept the rest of the water in check. Faith craned her neck up to see what he was looking at.

"What is it? she asked again, this time meaning the metal door.

"It looks like this used to be some kind of cooling tank for the metal work they were doing," EJ replied, figuring it out as he went along, "They would throw all of the hot metal and whatever down here. This door must lead to the river and when they wanted to get cool down the metal they would operate this lever somehow from up there and open the flood gates and all of the water from outside, rushes inside and… and …"

EJ trailed off then and whirled around, starting to pull debris away from the other walls furiously.

"And what EJ?" asked a frustrated Sami, not knowing what he was looking for.

"In order for that to work there must be some kind of drain down here, to take the water away other wise this pit would just overflow," explained EJ as he kept moving the clutter away from the walls. "That means that there must be an exit hatch here somewhere for the water to get out."

"An exit hatch, you mean a way out?" asked Sami with hope in her voice.

"Yes," answered EJ with a triumphant look over his shoulder at her, "A way out and… oh… found it!"

EJ stood in front of metal hatchway like the one they had just found but there was no water dripping from this one. It must lead back into the river and the pressure would keep a cycle of cold water running through the container at all times. That meant that this hatchway was dry for the moment and he should, theoretically, be able to climb through it until he hit the river and then he could swim out and then go for help.

He felt relief fill his body as now he had a job to do, something to get themselves out of this and he wasn't a helpless victim of fate any more. He turned and looked triumphantly at Sami and explained his plan. She was still pinned down so he would get out through the hatch and go for help and then the rescue guys with all of their equipment would be able to get her out safely.

"Sounds like a good plan," agreed Sami after she had listened to his idea.

The water was steadily rising around her and the thought of getting out of here sooner rather than later was sounding pretty good to her right about then.

"Don't worry sweetheart," said EJ confidently, "I'll have us out of here in no time."

Samantha smiled; there was that big personality again.

EJ turned around and grabbed the lever that would open the hatch. Nothing happened. He pulled harder until suddenly it came off in his hands, the metal making a sharp snapping sound.

Sami jumped, EJ swore.

"No problem, I'll just push it open," he said confidently and began pushing against the metal door.

Nothing… it wasn't moving… not even a little.

EJ started to swear under his breath and looked around for something to push it open with. Five minutes and a lot of threats later, the door still hadn't moved at all. While EJ had been working on the door the water had continued to rise and was now halfway up to his knees and because Sami was lying down, it was up to her waist, and it was freezing!

Sami was starting to feel her self shut down from the cold and tried to fight against it. She could tell that EJ wasn't going to get the door open that way and they were fast running out of time, particularly her. She looked at the hatchway just above her head. EJ couldn't swim out that way; the force of the water rushing in would stop him in his tracks. He was a strong swimmer but he wouldn't be able to fight against that sort of pressure. She then looked back at EJ who was still trying to get the door open. Sami realised that the only thing that was going to get that door open was the force from a room full of water pressing against it.

She closed her eyes for a moment as she tried to came to terms with what she knew she had to do to get them out of there. Fear pressed down on her but the faces of her children came to her and she forced down her terror with a grim determination. Opening her eyes she had made her mind up. Now came the hard part, convincing EJ that this was the only way.

"EJ, stop it," she said calmly.

EJ ignored her and kept going.

"EJ, STOP!"

He jumped at the loudness of her voice in the small room and looked around at her. The water was now starting to move up to her chest and he felt the fear return in force as he realised that she was going to drown unless he got her out of there.

"Come here EJ," she asked of him softly.

Something in her eyes was causing a knot to form in his stomach. He had seen that look before; it was a look of steely determination that she reserved for unpleasant things that she knew had to be done.

"I've got to get this door open," he began to argue with her.

"Your not going to get the door open that way," she said, "Now come here I have an idea."

EJ put down the piece of wood he had been beating the door with unsuccessfully and waded back to Sami. She kept eye contact with him the whole time and he didn't like what he was seeing there. She reached out her hand again like she had when he had first found her there and he grabbed it again in the same way and knelt in the water beside her.

"Her hand is freezing," he thought to himself, a lump forming in his throat, "I have to get her out of here."

"EJ, I need for you to listen to me now and listen carefully," Sami spoke calmly, never looking away from his gaze, "You are not going to get the door open that way. The only way is if we flood the room and the pressure pushes against it. Then it will open and you will be able to get out and swim for help."

EJ slowly let go of her hand and was staring at her with horror.

"Are you crazy?" he asked, emotion starting to build in his voice, "You are trapped under these logs and you can't get up, if we flood the room you'll drown! You can't be serious Samantha!"

EJ's voice was starting to become raised at the very thought of it and he stood up, reeling back from her in absolute shock.

"EJ listen to me!" she implored him urgently, knowing she didn't have long to convince him that this plan would work, "The longer we are down here the colder we will get. Soon you won't have enough strength to swim out of here anyway. All we have to do is pull that lever above my head and we'll be letting in the water from the river right? If we flood the room now before you get any colder you have a greater chance of getting out."

Sami paused and took a breath and swallowed hard before continuing.

"The water is cold, it will slow my metabolism down and the human brain can survive for up to ten minutes without oxygen," she said, trying to sound a lot more confident then she felt, "You get out and then come back for me. The logs will be easy to lift underwater and then you just get me out and give me CPR."

Faith had been seeing the growing horror on EJ's face as she talked and now braced herself for his reaction.

EJ just stared at her, trying to fathom what she'd just said to him. Was he understanding her right? Was she telling him to drown her so he could get out and just hope that he could get back to her, hope that he could get her to breathe again?

_Was she out of her freaking mind?! _

There was no way in the world that he would do that, he couldn't believe that she would even think of such a thing, much less say it out loud.

"You want me to let you drown?" he choked out angrily, "How could you think I would do that Samantha, let you just die in front of me!"

He was shouting at her now but he couldn't help himself, he felt like throwing up at the very thought of what she was suggesting.

"I am going to die in front of you anyway!"

Her anguished words tore a hole in his heart, this couldn't be happening.

"Listen to me EJ," she said in a calmer voice, the voice she used when she was trying to reason with one of the twins, "I don't like the thought of this any more than you do, believe me, but there is no other way. Either way I am doing to die down here but at least this way we have a chance to be okay."

EJ felt a lump in his throat as he realised she was right. He couldn't get her out and help wasn't going to get to them in time. Sami was watching the emotions moving across his face. She knew what she was asking of him, knew that the very thought of it was killing him inside but she also knew that this was their only chance, even if it was a long shot at best. Even if she didn't make it, he would be okay and that thought gave her some comfort. Knowing that he would still be out in the world, that he would look out for their children, keep them safe and tell them their mother died thinking of them.

EJ's face crumbled as he dropped to his knees again beside her. Samantha reached out and placed her hands on either sides of his face, framing his features. Closing her eyes she lent her forehead against his. His eyes had closed at the first touch of her hand.

Sami spoke softly to him now.

"I know you can do this EJ, I know it," she said with great certainty, "I have never known anyone else in the world that can do the things you do when you put your mind to it. You're unstoppable. I have never trusted anyone in my life like I trust you, please you have to do this… for me… for our children."

Tears had started to fall from EJ's eyes as she began to speak. Her words tore through him like a knife. He shook his head as though trying to ward off the truth of her words, not wanting to accept her solution but knowing in his heart that she was right. Damn it, why did she have to be right about this of all things? Why couldn't he think of a better plan, a plan that didn't involve her having to go through this? He couldn't think, he was so paralysed by the thought of losing her that his brain just froze.

"Promise me," EJ's voice began to become choked with emotion, "Promise me if we do this, that you will fight to come back to me, that you will fight to stay alive. I can't lose you like this, Samantha, I just can't."

Sami struggled with her own fear as she heard the desperation in EJ's voice. What was she doing? She didn't want to die down here but there was no other way. She had to reassure him, tell him that she wasn't going to give in either and if they both fought this horror together, they could win. They had to win; the alternative was beyond comprehension.

Sami took a deep steadying breath before replying to his tortured plea.

"I promise EJ," she whispered, "I promise to fight to come back to you and our children, I promise to fight to stay alive. You won't lose me EJ."

A sob escaped his lips as he wrapped his arms around her as though he would never let her go. He shook his head.

"Samantha," said EJ achingly, "I can't do this. Please, I could never willingly hurt you."

Sami hugged him back, drawing strength from his presence like she had always had. Strength to do what she knew needed to be done.

"I know EJ," she whispered back and with her arms still wrapped around him she reached over and pulled the lever above her head, removing that terrible choice from him.


	34. Chapter 34

**Chapter THIRTY FOUR**

"You know," complained John as he and Rolf walked along the docks, both with flash lights in hand as they searched for EJ and Sami in the dark, "This would HAVE BEEN A LOT FASter if you'd let me bring Smokey aLONG."

"Zmokey iz ze peacock John," protested Rolf as they walked out yet another warehouse that had yielded nothing, "He vould have been very unhappy to be put in za car."

"He would have BEEN ALRight in the front seat," pouted John, "Now this is going TO TAKE FOREVER without his trackING ABILITY."

John's hearing was slowly improving and only fifty percent of his sentences were at top volume now. However a full hundred percent of his conversation was still riddled with specious reasoning.

"Peacockz cannot track za peoplez John," said Rolf with a shake of his head, having already had this argument with him, "I told you zat."

"What DO YOU Know about peacocks?" argued John, "OTHER THAN THe fact that with a good wind behind you and the right motivation you cAN OUT RUN THEM?"

**oooOOOOooo**

As Samantha pulled the lever the hatchway opened, water began to rush in. EJ recoiled in horror realising what she had done.

"No Samantha!" he shouted at her, "NO!"

"It is alright EJ, this was my choice, MY choice do you hear me?" she said fiercely, "No matter what happens, I chose this. This is not your fault!"

EJ knew that if this went badly he would blame himself and she couldn't let that happen. The water was pouring in from the outside river and rising very rapidly now and it was already under her chin.

_Oh god, it was so cold. _

She could barely feel anything of her body any more; the cold was so crippling.

"You can do this EJ, please I know you can do this," she said achingly, reassuring him with her trust in him.

The water was now almost to her lips. He cupped her face and tilting her face back away from the rising water and looked frantically into her eyes.

"It will be alright… I love you EJ," she whispered as the water covered her mouth. Her eyes widen as the water passed over them but she continued to look at him.

"SAMANTHA!" he cried out as her face disappeared under the water.

He looked over to the escape hatch and saw that there was about another ten feet to go before the water would be up to the hatch enough to push it open. He looked back down at Sami; he was still holding her face. She was beginning to struggle as her lungs ran out of oxygen.

Taking three deep breaths he bent down into the water and pressed his lips against hers, creating a seal and breathed the oxygen from his lungs into hers. Sami stopped struggling and a look of relief came over her face. EJ continued to do this until the water level had reached the right height and he heard the metal door of the hatch giving way. By this time he had to swim up to get to air for himself before he ducked dived under the water to pass it on to Sami.

She was getting weaker from the cold water and the last time he went to try and breathe for her she was unable to take in the air properly. He pressed his mouth firmly across hers and breathed out as hard as he could but her eyes had started to close and he knew the cold was finally claiming her. Her hand had been gripping his up until then but he felt her grasp weaken and her body started to struggle for that last bit of oxygen in her lungs and then EJ felt her go limp in his arms.

"NO!" his mind screamed as his tighten his arms around her one last time before he kicked off to find the surface of the water.

His lungs sucked in the air as he hit the surface, delicious oxygen filling his lungs again. The cold was biting against his flesh but emotion and adrenalin kept him going. He pressed the timer on his wristwatch and pushed the gun he still had in his position down the back of his pants. EJ didn't know if his father was still out there but he wasn't going to be unprepared if he was. Securing his gun he started to swim towards the escape hatch.

It was big enough for him to fit through quite easily. EJ took another three deep breaths, pulling as much air into his lungs as he could and then dove down into the hatchway. He had no way of knowing how long it was or if he could even get out the other end but he knew he had to try. Samantha needed him to do this and he was going to do this or die trying.

The passageway was only about sixty feet long and right now he was very grateful for all that swimming he did for his rehabilitation after the hit and run. When he came to the end of the passage EJ was relieved to see that there was no grill blocking his way out. It had been a gamble because if there had have been he would have drowned then and there but then, this whole plan had been a ridiculous gamble that his own father had forced on them. EJ moved out of the passage way he immediately kicked his way to the surface, gasping in lung fulls of the fresh air around him when he reached it.

_2 minutes 43 seconds _

He looked at his watch and knew every second counted now, he had to get back to Samantha. EJ tried to block the picture of her under all that water from his mind, the image paralysing him otherwise. He turned around in the water looking for the shore and on seeing it he started to swim towards it immediately. He was thankful that he was such a strong swimmer but even so the cold threatened to take all of his strength from him. Sheer will power and the single bloody-mindedness that EJ was famous for kicked in and he pushed himself on despite the pain.

_4 minutes 10 seconds _

EJ reached the shore and for a brief moment he was disorientated as he looked for the building he and Sami had gone into, in what seemed like two life times ago. He saw it and started to run towards the building, stumbling as his freezing limbs didn't respond immediately. Inside the building he found the metal sheet that had been put over the top of hole. He ripped it up and looked anxiously into the dark water below him. He couldn't see Sami but he knew where she should be and he dived in immediately. Diving down, he tried to see through the gloom of the murky water, his hands reached out in front of him, groping into the dim waters. Suddenly his hand hit something soft and his finger wrapped around it tightly.

_Samantha._

**oooOOOOooo**

"Did you just hear zomzing?" asked Rolf, tilting his head to one side and looking at John and then realising he was probably asking the wrong man.

"NO," said John, not surprisingly, "WHat did you heAR?"

"It waz a heavy metal zound," frowned Rolf, looking around him and trying to pinpoint where he thought the noise might have come from.

"WhaT LIKE def Leppard or something?" asked John expressionlessly.

"Vat?" asked Rolf, John distracting him momentarily as was his way, "Vat leopard John, vat are you talking about? Did you see a leopard?"

Rolf looked around himself nervously now. He'd almost been killed by big birds on more than one occasion already - he really didn't like his chances with something further up the food chain. And with Stefano involved it wasn't outside the realms of possibility that there might be an actual leopard lurking around in the shadows. Both men stood there looking around - Rolf for a giant, predatory cat and John for a heavy metal band.

_Let's face it - they weren't exactly Batman and Robin… hell, they weren't even Bullwinkle and Rocky!_

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ had found Samantha's arm and he kicked himself towards her. Releasing her he started to pull at the pieces of wood that trapped her. They came away easily thanks to the buoyancy lent to them in the water and then he was able to grab a hold of Sami and start swimming towards the surface. Once at the top he pulled her out of the water and lay her on her side next to their now water filled prison. EJ looked at Sami's face and felt his heart sink. Even in the poor light he could see she was bluish in colour and felt so very cold to his touch. He checked for pulse and breath sounds and found none.

_6 minutes 21seconds_

EJ cleared her airways and began to give her mouth to mouth. Her lips felt so cold beneath his as he breathed into her. With shaking hands he found the midpoint of her sternum and placed his palm there, beginning compressions, willing her heart to start beating.

"Please Samantha, not like this," EJ begged her still form frantically, "You promised you'd fight, you promised me."

Nothing… so he resumed the mouth to mouth.

_7 minutes 8 seconds._

Complete panic was threatening to overwhelm EJ. This couldn't all be for nothing, it just couldn't be. His thought processes had all but shut down from the cold and the shock. The only thing keeping him going was his desperate need to bring her back to him. Nothing else existed for EJ now, nothing else mattered, only Samantha's next breath. To feel her heart beat against his palm, to feel her breath on his face.

Still nothing… back to compressions.

_7 minutes 58 seconds._

"Don't you give up Samantha," he pleaded with her shakily, as he repeatedly pressed on her chest, "Ali and Johnny need you, I need you… I can't do this without you, please sweetheart!"

Suddenly Samantha bucked up and vomited river water out of her mouth and then sucked in the night air, choking on the water that was still in her lungs.

"Samantha, it's alright Samantha, it's alright, I've got you, your going to be okay," reassurances tumbled out EJ's mouth as the felt the most unbelievable relief flood his entire body.

She tried to turn on her back but EJ stopped her.

"You have to stay on your side Samantha," he said as he held her, tears starting to run down his face.

"E…EJ," rasped Sami.

"I'm here Samantha, don't talk, everything is going to be okay," said EJ, his voice choked with emotion.

"You .. you OK?" she forced out from between freezing lips.

"I am now," he whispered unevenly, pressing his forehead against hers, "You came back, I thought I had lost you but you came back."

He was barely able to talk from all of the emotions that were tearing at him.

"Promise is a prom…promise" she managed to choke out.

EJ tightened his arms around her and began to sob then as the realisation that he'd so very nearly lost her forever. Nothing existed for EJ anymore in that moment, only her. Just then a light shone through the darkness illuminating them both. EJ didn't even look up. He just clung to Samantha, rocking her gently.

"ELVIS, SAMANTHA?!" called out John lowering the flashlight slightly so that the light wasn't shining directly on them.

Neither EJ nor Sami answered as John hurried over to where they were huddled together.

"Rolf!" he called out to the other man, "I FOUND THEm and THEY DON't look too good, you'd better call 911."

"Ya," nodded Rolf with a frown, seeing the state the two young people were in.

"Stef… Stefano," rasped EJ, not even looking at John as he held on tightly to Sami.

John looked around and grimaced. It was no huge surprise that his half brother was behind this.

"IT's alright Elvis," said John with a reassuring nod, "You and SAMAtha are SAFe now."

John looked down at the condition of Sami and hoped that he hadn't just told a lie then. He then took of his coat and draped it over the top of Sami, trying to keep her warm even as EJ continued to hold on to her tightly.

**oooOOOOooo**

John looked up in surprise when suddenly Roman and Bo burst through the doors, barely two minutes later.

"WHAt are you DOIng here?" he asked, taken aback.

"Marlena rang us," said Bo, frowning worriedly at the sight of a soaking wet EJ and Sami sitting there on the ground, Sami in EJ's lap still.

Roman crouched down beside EJ and Sami, concerned about his daughter.

"Sami!" he said urgently but she didn't answer, lying still in EJ's arms and he didn't look up at Roman, not even seeming to notice he was there.

"When?" asked John to Bo, taken aback.

"Straight after you left I guess," shrugged Bo, coming round to the other side of EJ and taking a look at the two of them more carefully and shook his head worriedly.

"So WHaT, she DIDN't trust ME TO HANDle it myself?" asked John, sounding put out now.

"Marlena mentioned something about peacocks?" said Bo looking around a bit warily, the events of the birthday part still pretty fresh in his mind.

"Rolf wouldn't LET ME BRIng him," John informed him, "Apparently there are laws ABOUT THAt kind of thing… _apparently_."

John didn't sound overly convinced by Rolf's assertions though.

"John what happened here tonight?" asked Roman anxiously, putting a hand out and touching Sami's cold cheek.

John didn't answer because he had his back to Roman right then and was still having difficulty picking when people were talking to him.

"I'll check how far away the ambulance is," Bo said, putting a comforting hand on his brother's shoulder as he went outside the building to place the call because there was no reception inside.

"So aren't you goING TO ASK ME WHat happened?" asked John flatly, turning around and looking down at Roman as he still crouched down beside EJ and Sami.

Roman gave him a vaguely annoyed look and gave an exaggerated nod for John's benefit so then John proceeded to tell the story of Caroline ringing, Mr Newman, Smokey not being keen to get into the car, Rolf being even less keen to make it happen, the possibility that there was a heavy metal band lurking somewhere in the shadows and then how he'd found EJ and Sami.

"Oh… and Stefano is behind this," finished off John as an afterthought, remembering what EJ had told him.

"See now John," said Roman in frustration, "I would have opened with that!"

"Yeah," said John stoically, completely unconcerned by Roman's censure, "But we are two _very_ different people Roman."

The wail of the ambulance siren cut through the night air and meant Roman didn't have to find an answer to that. John tapped a finger to his ear, well the ringing had gone but now there was this high pitched whine going on – John wondered if he should be concerned because it seemed to getting louder. Roman meanwhile had called out to some of his men that had accompanied he and Bo and had them scouring the area for Stefano. It was a long shot that he was still there but it always paid to be careful when it came to Stefano. A fact his daughter should know by now and despite his very real concern for her and even EJ he couldn't help but feel frustrated at them both for putting themselves in this kind of danger.

"They are in here," said Bo, coming through the doors with two paramedics in tow now.

John immediately recognised them as the male/female partnership that had helped him yesterday after the explosion.

"Oh hey," he said in surprise, "It's HECTor and TIM."

"Kim," the woman corrected him distractedly as they hurried past him to get to Sami and EJ.

"Well I guESS that mAKES more sense," nodded John to himself.

"I see the hearing isn't quite up to scratch yet," said Hector with a little smile, as he pulled his emergency back pack off.

"SORRY, I only hAVE a lighter," John told him which made everyone look at him a bit weirdly except for Rolf who, like EJ, had started to get the hang of deciphering of Johnisms.

"He doesn't vant a match John!" said Rolf loudly, shaking his head at John.

Roman meanwhile had been trying to get EJ to let go of Sami. He put out a hand to gently take Sami from him and in the first real sign of life from EJ he violently shoved at Roman, knocking him onto his backside as he squatted beside them and tightened his hold on Sami.

"Whoa!" frowned Roman in surprise, picking himself up from where he'd fallen after EJ's unexpectedly rough treatment of him, "EJ, what are you doing?!"

The paramedics exchanged looks with one another. They'd seen this kind of shocked induced over protectiveness before and knew they had to be careful.

"Hey EJ," said Hector calmly, putting his face down level with EJ's but being careful to keep a bit of a distance, "Do you remember me? It's Hector – I met you and Sami yesterday, after the explosion at the café. Remember – I helped your uncle."

EJ didn't answer, just kept a tight hold of Sami and stared down at her. He could hear people talking to him and knew that he should be answering them but he couldn't seem to bring himself to find the energy. All he knew was that he had to keep Samantha safe, that he couldn't let any more harm come to her and even though his strength was all but gone he would use what was left of it to protect her from all of these voices and people around them. He was too tired, too exhausted to work out who they were… he just wanted to hold onto Samantha and never let her go again.

Hector put out a tentative hand to touch EJ's shoulder and get his attention that way, knowing better than to try and touch Sami at this point. EJ was still bent over Sami as he cradled her in his arms and flinched violently under Hector's light touch, his head snapping up to look at the man with hollow eyes. The ravages of cold and shock were all over his face along with the cuts and bruises from whatever had happened to them. But that wasn't Hectors' main concern though, not liking the fact that they were both wet in this increasingly cold night air. His eyes dropped to Sami, who was also covered in bruises and she seemed a little bluish to his trained eye and through out all this she hadn't opened her eyes yet.

"EJ, we need to check you both out," Hector said gently but firmly, "You don't look so good, especially Sami."

At the mention of Samantha's name EJ tightened his embrace of her.

"Come on EJ," said Roman, the urgency starting to creep into his voice as the other man made no movement to release her, "It's okay, Hector here is just trying to help. He just want to make sure that you are both okay."

EJ stilled stared blankly back at Hector, not moving.

"Elvis," said John, calmly, coming to stand beside EJ and then crouched down beside him, "You have to let her go."

EJ seemed to focus a little then at the sound of John's voice and for the first time made proper eye contact with someone.

"She died," he whispered painfully to his uncle, hardly able to say the words without wanting to start screaming from the pain.

"So did I Elvis," said John calmly, putting a hand on his back, "It's not that bad. And then I wasn't and look how well that all worked out."

Roman and Bo exchanged looks then, wondering if John was being ironic there – it was pretty hard to tell nowadays.

"Its ok…okay EJ, let them have a look at…at us," Samantha's weak voice startled everyone including EJ who jumped.

He blinked a couple of times and shook his head as though her voice had woken him from some dream.

"Please," said EJ hoarsely, "You have to help Samantha, she drowned, stopped breathing for eight minutes, she got so cold and her leg is badly cut..."

"That's why we are here EJ," said Hector reassuringly, "Just let go of Samantha and we can check her out properly."

EJ looked down at Samantha in his arms and nodded slowly. Hector and Kim moved in and gently took her from his grasp and began to check her over. EJ's eyes never left Sami as the paramedics began working on her. He still sat hunched over, not moving even as John put a blanket around his shoulders that the paramedics had bought with them.

"You said she stopped breathing?" Hector questioned EJ as they began to work on Sami.

"Yes," replied EJ, still sounding a bit out of it, "We were trapped in this little room and it started to fill up with water and she was caught under these logs and I couldn't get her out. I tried but everything kept falling on us. I just co..couldn't get her out."

"It's okay sir," reassured Kim as she heard the emotion begin to rise in his voice at the memory, "You got her out in the end and you brought her back."

"No," said EJ quietly, so quietly that Kim barely heard him, "She came back because she promised me."

Kim was worried about EJ, he was more coherent then when she had first seen him but he was clearly in shock. She and Hector had finished checking out Sami. They had given her some oxygen and put a pressure bandage on the cut above her knee. That was going to need quite a few stitches, possibly even some surgery it was that deep and Kim was worried about an infection from the dirty river water. The thing that she was most worried about though was warming Sami up; her body temperature was still below what it should be and even a couple of degrees below normal body temperature could cause serious complications. After wrapping her in thermal blankets, Hector ran back to get the ambulance and bring it closer so they could get her inside and on the way to hospital as quickly as possible.

While he was gone Kim turned her attention to EJ.

"Let me have a look at you EJ," said Kim as she moved towards him.

"I'm fine," said EJ roughly, "Don't worry about me, just look after Samantha."

"We are looking after Samantha but we need to look after you too," said Kim patiently.

"I'm okay, Samantha is the one…" EJ started to argue back.

"Do not give me any grief or I will have those two police officers over there hold you down while I check you out and don't think that I won't," Kim cut him off, her tone brooking no further argument now.

EJ looked as though he was about to fight with her about it but the exhaustion and fatigue from the last two hours were starting to get to him as the adrenalin wore off and he didn't think he had the strength to make a fuss. Casting her an unhappy look he begrudgingly let her start to check him out.

He had fared better then Samantha, with most of the cuts and bruises looking pretty much superficial if somewhat painful. His shoulder had taken a bad knock but Kim thought it only looked bruised and some rest and painkillers would see that right. He had a cut on his right hand side similar to the cut she had found on Sami's left hand side and while it was deep it looked like a clean cut. Again, the thing that she was most concerned about was how cold he was. He was shaking uncontrollably and she needed to get him as warm as quickly as possible as well. Hector had returned with the ambulance by this time and was loading Sami on board. Kim started to call for another ambulance for EJ but he stopped her.

"I want to ride with Samantha," he said unevenly but despite that there was no missing the steely determination in his voice.

"We need to get you another ambulance sir," said the young woman with a shake of her head.

"I have to be with her, I nearly lost her tonight, I need … I need to be with her," EJ's voice was quiet and he looked up at the woman, "Please… pl..please, let me go with her."

Kim was startled by the quiet desperation in the man's voice and frowned. Hector had come up beside her in the meantime and saw the state he was in and came quickly to the decision that separating the pair at this point would probably do more harm than good.

"It'll be alright," said Hector with a look at his partner, "Let them go together. I don't think having them apart at the moment is really going to be a good idea, do you?"

She hesitated for a second before nodding. As banged up as he looked the man in front of her wasn't in as dire straights as the woman they currently had in the back of the ambulance. He wouldn't need the same kind of looking after that she did so it wouldn't be a real problem to have them in the same ambulance together.

"Thank you," EJ said quietly.

EJ went to stand and stumbled, his legs no longer able to carry his weight. They were too spent from the cold and exhaustion. Bo reached out quickly and grabbed him and between John and himself they helped him into the back of the bus with Samantha who had seemed to lose consciousness again. He immediately slumped down beside Sami, grabbing her hand in his and resting his face on the back of her hand. Kim closed the doors of the ambulance and turned back around to the two worried cops and John.

"We'll take them to University hospital and get them looked at properly," Kim informed them as she climbed into the back of the ambulance, "Do you have contact numbers for their family at all so they can meet us at the hospital."

"We're their family," said John determinedly, "And we'll be there when you get there."

They all watched as the ambulance pulled away then.

"ROLF!" called out John loudly.

"Ya?" he replied, standing just to the left of John now.

"Go get tHE CAR," he said noisily, "I'LL RING BLOndie and tell her what's happENED."

"I zink I should ring Marlena," said Rolf calmly.

"She's my wIFE!" said John in annoyance, "Get yoUR OWN WIFE and rING her wheN _your_ nephew and stEPDAUGHTER get locked in a water filled pIT OF DEATH by your INSANE HALF BROther."

"You can't hear properly John," said Rolf flatly, not buying into John's rant.

"No _you_ caN'T HEAR PROperly," he said childishly to which Rolf just rolled his eyes and started walking back to the car.

Bo and Roman watched the odd couple walk off together still arguing between them and shook their heads at them. Bo looked around himself then and frowned.

"So what do you think really happened here tonight Roman?" he asked, wondering if their family would ever be rid of the scourge that was Stefano DiMera.

"Whatever it was it must have been bad," said Roman flatly, "I have never seen EJ so badly shaken up before and we've had him in some pretty tight spots before today."

Bo nodded soberly, it was hard to imagine a father doing something like this to his own son but then, this was Stefano they were talking about.

"I'd better call this in and get a CSI team in," sighed Bo, "They might be able to turn up something to help us find the old man."

"Good idea little brother," nodded Roman distractedly, still looking around himself, "I'll take a look around while you do that."

Bo headed off to make the phone call and left Roman to check out the area by himself.

"What did happened here tonight?" Roman wondered to himself.

He had a bad feeling about this whole thing, he had no idea about what had really happened but he couldn't shake the feeling that this wasn't over yet.

"Central is sending an investigation team down here to start checking things over," Bo informed Roman, "We have to wait for them and then we should head to the hospital to check on Sami and EJ."

Roman nodded to his brother in silent agreement.

"Look over here, this must be where they were trapped," said Bo, motioning to where EJ had pulled away the sheet of metal. He peered in and grimaced at the cold, dark water that met his gaze.

"Man, that looks nasty," he said to his brother, "No wonder EJ is in the state he is – I don't know what I'd do if I had to watch Fancy Face go through what Sami just did."

He shuddered unconsciously at the thought.

Roman was surveying the area, being careful not to disturb anything as he went. He'd been a cop for too many years to make a rookie mistake like that.

"Looks like someone piled all this stuff up here to hide the fact that there seems to be some kind of trap door contraption going on," he noted, his expression hard.

Bo saw the expression on his brother's face and he felt his concern increase as he recognised Roman's worry. The two shared a sombre look and then turned to return to their squad car to wait for the investigation team before heading off to the hospital to meet check on Sami and EJ's conditions.

**oooOOOOooo**

Stefano watched the nights events unfold from his vantage point in a hidden room in one of the walls of the building. He had been able to hear and see everything that had gone on that night and despite himself he couldn't help but be impressed.

They had survived.

As much as Elvis had disappointed him in recent times it was clear he was still a DiMera at heart – hard to kill and relentless – the blood of the Phoenix coursing through his veins and the thought made Stefano strangely proud. Stefano had stayed, wanting to be near when the end came for his son. A father's last vigil… some might have called it sick in the circumstances but it made sense to the man himself. He was present when Elvis had entered this world… it felt right that he should be there when he left it.

But then Elvis hadn't seen fit to leave the world after all… this was an interesting development.

But these turn of events were something unexpected even to Stefano – the master of cheating death. The level of their devotion to one another surprised him. What they were willing to sacrifice for one another had taken Stefano aback and he wasn't one to be easily caught off guard. He'd always dismissed his son's obsession with Samantha Brady as an infatuation that he would one day tire of but after seeing what they had done for each other tonight it was hard to imagine that being the truth now. He had to think now. Recollect his thoughts, reorganise his careful plans to encompass this inconvenient truth. There would be time enough to plan their next encounter and when that happened he would not underestimate the two of them as he'd done tonight.

Stefano folded his hands in front of him and waited patiently for the area to be clear of police officers. Patience was one of his strong points and he knew how to wait things out and find the perfect moment – whether that be to make an entrance, dissolve into the night or to strike. Tonight's matching of strength with his son had resulted in a draw – neither one of them getting what they wanted. Next time though, next time it would be different. Stefano could feel it in his bones – their next meeting would be their last… one way or the other.


	35. Chapter 35

**Chapter THIRTY FIVE**

Samantha was still in with the doctors and EJ was beginning to become restless. He had not wanted to be separated from her again when they reached the hospital but they had eventually convinced him to let her go into a separate cubicle. He couldn't explain it but since he had pulled her from the water he felt a rising panic at the thought of being apart from her. It was almost as if he wasn't physically by her side he was scared she would forget her promise and leave him again. He knew that he was being ridiculous but he couldn't seem to help himself.

He had been checked over by the doctors and they were insisting he stay in over night to make sure he had no ill effects from his time in the freezing river. He was barely listening to the doctor as he went on about the possible effects of hypothermia. All he could think of was Sami and whether she was going to be alright. Marlena had already been in to reassure him that the twins were well and excited about staying over at Caroline's so he knew they were alright. The main thing now was Sami and until he could see her again and look into her eyes he wouldn't believe anyone else's reassurances until then. EJ threw back the covers of his hospital bed and put his feet on the ground, still feeling a little shaky.

"Get back into bed now EJ!"

EJ jumped at the sound of Lexie's voice and his head whipped round to see her standing in his hospital room and looking at him in disapproval.

"Lexie, how's Samantha?" he asked, ignoring her command, "I have to see her."

"Blankets can only warm you if you are actually in them at the time," commented Lexie dryly, initially ignoring his question, "The operating instructions a bit too confusing for you EJ?"

EJ scowled at her.

"Get back into bed now or I _will_ hurt you little brother!" Lexie said in a very stern voice, placing her hands on her hips and arching a menacing eyebrow at the younger man.

EJ's lips pressed together in a tight line, clearly unhappy.

"If you get back into bed, I will give you an update on Sami," she wheedled as she saw him about to argue further, knowing the one thing that would make him tow the line.

EJ turned immediately and somewhat shakily got back into bed. He was feeling a bit the worse for wear after his time in the cold water but he was damned if he was going to let on that fact to anyone. Lexie walked over to him and tucked the blankets back around him as he settled back into the bed.

"Well?" he asked shortly as soon as he was back in bed, worry making him unable to soften the question any further.

"The doctors have just finished looking at Sami," she began calmly, taking a seat on his bed now, "She has had her side stitched up and been given antibiotics."

EJ's hand unconsciously went to his side where he had received stitches to his side as well. Something must have whipped past both of them when they were standing together and his mind was starting to try and piece it together now that they were out of danger. At least he hoped they were, Lexie hadn't finished telling him how Sami was doing and he listened with a quiet dread that she was going to tell him that she wasn't going to be okay.

"She has had a bit of damage to her lungs from the water and will be on oxygen for a little while longer but there seems to be no ill effects to her brain from the time that she was, umm…." Lexie had hesitated how to finish the sentence, not wanting to upset EJ further now that he had seemed to calm down a bit.

"Dead," EJ supplied in a flat voice.

"Yes, well, the cold water actually helped to slow down any tissue damage that might have occurred if things had been different," Lexie hurried to continue on, hearing the tension in her brother's voice, "We are keeping her in for a few days and we will do regular neural obs on her but so far it all looks very promising."

EJ closed his eyes as relief coursed through his body. She was going to be okay.

"Are you sure she will be alright?" EJ just had to make sure.

"There is the danger of something maybe showing up later but as each hour passes and she shows no signs of ill effects then the chance that there will be complications gets less and less," Lexie tried to reassure the younger man.

"Can I see her?" asked EJ with achingly.

"She's sleeping EJ," said Lexie quietly, "You should let her sleep… and you should get some sleep yourself."

"I can't," he said with a definite shake of his head, "Not without seeing Samantha. I just can't Lexie. I need to see her."

"How about this," Lexie compromised with him, "You let me prescribe you something to help you sleep and in the morning I'll take you straight to see Sami, I promise. Both of your bodies have been through so much EJ, you both really need just to rest now otherwise there maybe complications."

EJ ground his teeth, unhappy at the thought of not being able to see Sami and knowing he'd never be able to rest properly until he did… drugs or no drugs. He suddenly fixed Lexie with an almost fierce stare, grabbing her arm tightly.

"You're telling me the truth about Samantha aren't you Lexie?" he asked her anxiously, his face hard, "You're not just telling me what I want to hear to keep me quiet and meanwhile something has happened to Samantha!"

"I would never do that to you EJ," she shushed his growing distress, putting a calming hand on his shoulder, "I promise you, as far was we can tell Sami is fine… a little the worse for wear but under the circumstances it's quite remarkable that she's as good as she is."

"And what about her leg?" asked EJ with a frown, not completely mollified yet, "You haven't mentioned the cut to her leg – is it bad?"

"It's not good," nodded Lexie with a little frown, "And there is some discussion about what to do about that."

"What do you mean?" asked EJ, sitting straighter up in bed, "What's happened – what's going on Lexie?!"

"The cut was very deep EJ," said Lexie evenly, keeping her tone determinedly calm now, "It went down to muscle. It will require microsurgery to repair it properly."

"So why isn't she in surgery now then?" asked EJ with a scowl, "What's the delay Lexie?"

"Her blood pressure is still very low EJ," explained Lexie patiently, "It would be an unacceptable risk to operate on her while she is like that, it might cause complications with the anaesthesia."

"You said she was alright," frowned EJ, sitting up straighter in bed, "Why is her blood pressure so low?"

"Because she near froze to death tonight," said Lexie with a shake of her head, "We're warming her up and giving her plenty of oxygen EJ. You'll see by tomorrow morning she'll be in great shape to have the surgery."

EJ still didn't look very convinced and rubbed a hand over his eyes, suddenly tired but too overwrought to really relax.

"I can prescribe you some sleeping pills EJ," said Lexie softly, seeing how exhausted he was, "You need to get your rest too. You're no good to Sami in this state."

"I don't want pills," said EJ with a shake of his head.

"EJ…" began Lexie but he interrupted her.

"No pills Lexie," he said firmly, "I don't want to be drugged out of my mind in case Samantha needs me."

Lexie looked at her brother, worry lines etched deeply on his normally smooth face and shook her head, concerned for him and scared out of her mind as to what had almost happened to the two of the tonight.

"You and Sami have had a rough night," commented Lexie, remembering the state that EJ was in when they had first arrived, it had taken five people to get them apart, or more correctly to get EJ to leave Sami.

Again it had been John who had eventually been able to talk him round.

"Yes," said EJ, making it obvious that he didn't want to talk about it but Lexie persisted.

"So it was Stefano?" she asked softly, "Our father did this to you and Sami?"

"We thought he'd done it to you as well," said EJ and gave a humourless laugh at their father's deception.

Lexie looked confused, having not heard this part of the story so EJ told it to her, finding that a marginally easier thing to talk about then Samantha basically dying in his arms. She shook her head as she listened to the story.

"He's a monster," she whispered at the end of it, "And evil, soulless monster and I can't wait for him to be dead."

Brother and sister exchanged a long look then, sharing the deep grief of a being betrayed so utterly by a parent. Even though they hadn't been in each others lives for very long it was a moment that saw them grow closer. Lexie gave him a little smile then and tried to lighten the mood a little.

"Well, I will be in to check in on you a bit later on so you just behave yourself for once and don't give any of my staff a hard time," warned Lexie, giving his arm an affection squeeze as she went to leave.

"Lexie," he called out after her, stopping her as she got to the door, "Thank you… and I'm sorry if I was rude before. I didn't mean to take my worry out on you – I know you're only looking out for both Samantha and I."

"I am," she smiled back at him, "Now stop worrying EJ and try and get some rest. I'll check in on you before I leave for the night alright and then first thing we'll go and see Sami… alright?"

EJ nodded and gave her a little smile which Lexie returned before heading out of the room. He sat quietly after she had left, alone at last with his thoughts. But his thoughts were dark and tortured and did no one any good at that moment. So it was actually a relief when he had a visitor in the end even though EJ had thought he just wanted to be alone. He looked up as John walked into the room.

"So how does that taste?" asked John with interest, looking at the drip that was running from a bag on a stand down to a line inserted into the back of EJ's hand and forgoing the usual greetings.

"I don't know Uncle," sighed EJ heavily, a little too overwhelmed for John tonight, "It's a drip that's going directly into my blood stream therefore I can't taste it."

"Oh," said John, sounding disappointed, "Bummer."

"Yes, indeed," said EJ flatly, "Bummer."

He looked at thoughtfully at his uncle then.

"You're hearing seems to have improved somewhat," EJ noted.

"WHAT?" asked John loudly and EJ realised he'd spoken too soon.

"You're hearing Uncle!" said EJ, raising his voice a little, "I said I thought it seemed to be better."

"Yeah," nodded John, "Comes and goes a bit but it's definitely improving. Except now every time I'm in the car I hear music in my head – what the hell is up with that?"

"Is it only in the car that you hear the music?" asked EJ with a sigh, having a strange feeling he knew where this was going.

"Yeah," frowned John, "And elevators."

"It's the radio Uncle John," said EJ, tiredly rubbing his face with his hand, "The music you can hear in the car is the car radio – you've got it turned on obviously."

"Oh," said John, absorbing this new information for a minute, "I guess that explains all the ads for fast food and Disneyland."

"Didn't you think it a little strange that your hearing damage from a bomb explosion had commercials in it?" asked EJ in exasperation.

"No," shrugged John, "They put ads everywhere nowadays – I just thought it was someone in Madison Garden being smart."

"Avenue," corrected EJ automatically, "Madison Avenue is the Mecca for all things advertising Uncle John."

"But that doesn't explain the elevators," said John suddenly.

"They play music in elevators to relax you," explained EJ patiently.

"Why?" asked his uncle in surprise, "Is there something we should be worried about in elevators so that we need to relax?"

"No of course not," said EJ with a shake of his head.

"So why are they trying to relax us then?" asked John in confusion.

"I don't know Uncle John," said EJ straight faced, "I guess I must have missed that meeting of the Elevator Guild Incorporated when they voted on it."

"Pity," mused John, missing his sarcasm, "You could have gotten them to pick some better music."

EJ saw that there was possibly no end to this conversation so he abruptly changed subjects, using his rapidly dwindling patience for something he actually cared about.

"Uncle," he said seriously, "Can you tell me how Samantha is?"

"Sure," said John amicably, "Well… she's loud and quite edgy… and she really seems to enjoy hanging out in closets and…"

"Okay I'm going to stop you right there Uncle," said EJ in exasperation, "I meant do you know how does she feel?"

"I don't know," shrugged John, "Soft I guess - you're in a better position to answer that then me nephew but I can tell you how she smells."

"What?" asked EJ weakly, barely able to keep up at the moment with his Uncle's wayward train of thought.

"She smells like diamonds," said John with a definite nod.

"I think there may be something wrong with you Uncle," said EJ with a look to the heavens for strength, "Diamonds don't have a smell to them."

"Says you," sniffed John, "How do you know? Maybe it does and there is just something wrong with you because you can't smell them - ever think of that nephew?"

"Oh my," said EJ, putting hand to his head shakily, wondering if he was too hasty in refusing the drugs Lexie had offered him, "I feel..."

"Happy?" supplied John helpfully, "Sleepy…grumpy… dopey… sneezy… bashful…?"

"They are the seven dwarfs uncle!" exclaimed EJ in agitation, "The only one you missed out was Doc!"

"Yes?" said Marlena, walking into the room and looking at EJ expectantly.

"Marlena!" exclaimed EJ with relief, "Thank god - someone sane at last to rescue me!"

"John," she said with a little frown at the older man, "What are you doing to EJ?"

"What you told me to," said John, perplexed, "Come in here and distract him from the fact that his wife died tonight."

EJ felt himself tense at John's word, the nightmare of watching Sami die in front of him suddenly replaying in his head very vividly.

"So how did I go with that?" asked John blithely, looking at EJ with great interest.

"Pretty well up until about twenty seconds ago," said EJ flatly.

EJ looked at Marlena then but she pre-empted his next question.

"She's asleep and doing well EJ," the older woman comforted him, "And her surgery is scheduled for first thing tomorrow morning. Everything is going to be alright."

EJ rested his head back against the cushions and sighed heavily. Everyone kept telling him Samantha was alright but he couldn't bring himself to believe it.

"I can not believe that you two were so silly as to go and seek out Stefano alone," sighed Marlena, not wanting to add to EJ's burden but the frustration had been building inside her ever since she'd heard what had happened.

She was caught between wanting to hug and kiss the two of them and knock their heads together.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," said EJ wryly and then a serious look came over his face, "And I just… I just never thought… despite all the things my father has done… I never thought he would actually try and kill me. It's stupid I know… especially in hind sight."

"Well hind sight is always 20/20 I suppose," said Marlena, relenting a little, "I'm just so glad that you are both going to be alright."

"Are you sure that you can't taste this?" asked John, interrupting their talk and poking at the drip bag now with an inquisitive finger.

EJ and Marlena exchanged a look.

"Come on John," she said, seeing EJ wasn't up to his quirkiness right then, "Let's go home and let EJ get some rest."

EJ smiled and nodded as they left but the smile quickly slipped from his face as soon as they were gone. He lay back against the pillows of his bed and ran through all the events of that evening in excruciating detail, forcing himself to relive each painful memory like it was some kind of penance for allowing Samantha to be in that kind of danger. Sleep was a long time coming and when it did there was little relief from the anguish of his memories. Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough for EJ… tomorrow he'd be able to see Samantha, tomorrow her surgery would be over and he could stop worrying about it… about her.

_But as it would turn out tomorrow wasn't going to offer the relief that EJ had been hoping for. _


	36. Chapter 36

**Chapter THIRTY SIX**

_EJ was having a nightmare. _

It was cold, dark and wet and he was frantically looking for something, something that was just out of his reach, what was it? He kept looking; the panic in him growing until it felt like his heart would burst from his chest. Then he found her. She was all wet, her face cold and blue. He finally made it to her side but he couldn't get her to open her eyes. He couldn't remember what to do to save her. He just held her and pleaded for her to come back to him. Suddenly the muddy ground that they were sitting on seemed to open up and it started to pull her from him, out of his arms. He struggled to hold on to her but the ground just continued to pull her from his grasp and she slipped through his fingers, disappearing into the dark, muddy earth.

SAMANTHA!

He woke with her name on his lips. He needed to see her, touch her, and make sure that she was still alright. Assurances from other people that she was fine was no longer enough for him. He stood shakily and started to make his way to Sami's room, careful to make sure he wasn't detected and ordered back to his room. He noticed the time as he walked down the corridors, 3:23am. She would be asleep, he would just check on her, see that she was okay and then leave her to her rest he told himself.

EJ found her room and quietly entered. Her head was turned away from him. His eyes went to the comforting sight of her chest gently rising and falling. He walked closer until he was standing beside the bed. He reached out a hand to take hers and if felt reassuringly warm to his touch. Her head turned towards him at the contact. She was covered in cuts and bruises and seemed pale and it looked to him as though she had been crying. She smiled weakly when she saw who it was.

"Where you been EJ?" she asked softly.

"Oh, you know how it is, people to see, places to be," he replied, gently teasing her, "I'm a popular guy you know."

"Translation?" she queried smiling slightly at him.

"Lexie had me practically chained to my bed and threatened me with removing my ability to ever father any more children it I moved out of it," he told her with a little smile, pulling a chair up and sitting beside her bed now.

"Aren't you taking kind of risk being here then?" she asked him with a little smile of her own.

"You know me, I love to live life on the edge," EJ grinned back at her, marvelling that they were having this perfectly normal conversation after how he'd been worrying over her, "Anyway, I'm pretty confident I can take her, even in a hospital gown that opens at the back."

"I don't know EJ, she can be kinda scary when the mood takes her," said Sami, enjoying their light hearted banter after all of the angst they'd just been through.

Her face grew serious as she noticed the sweat still on his face.

"You okay?" she questioned quietly and reached up to touch his forehead, brushing her fingers through his hair, "Bad dreams?"

"Yes," he told her honestly.

He closed his eyes then, feeling the emotion well up in him.

"Oh Samantha," he choked out eventually, "I thought I'd lost you sweetheart… I thought I'd lost you forever and my whole world just dissolved."

Sami bit her lip to see the anguish on his face.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to him, "I never meant to put you through that EJ. There was just no other way."

"I know," he said unevenly, looking at her with such love and adoration that Sami suddenly found it hard to breath, "You were amazing tonight Samantha, simply awe inspiring. What you did… it was… was…"

"Stupid, reckless and risky," she finished for him with a wry little smile, "All the hallmarks of a Sami Brady DiMera stunt huh?"

"You were incredibly brave Samantha," he disagreed with her, shaking his head, "You saved us both."

He wrapped his fingers around hers that had come to rest against his cheek and looked at her face. He noticed the stray tear that still lay on her cheeks and reached out his other hand to touch them.

"Bad dreams?" he asked her now.

She nodded but then gave him a little broken smile.

"But I'm all better now that you're here," she told him softly.

"Don't you ever leave me again Samantha," he begged her raggedly, "I couldn't bear it - once was too much."

Sami gave a sad smile to see how upset he was and knowing she'd been the cause of it.

"Thank you EJ," said Sami simply, looking deeply into his eyes, "Thank you for saving me, thank you for giving me back to my children, thank you for not leaving me."

EJ closed his eyes tightly and then opened them again before replying.

"You only have to thank someone when they had a choice," he replied in all seriousness, "I didn't have a choice, losing you was not an option Samantha - it can never be an option for me."

Tears welled up in her eyes at her husband's words. Sami knew now more than ever what this man had come to mean to her. Right from the beginning she'd had this pull towards him but had fought it so hard because of his name and all the complexities and conflict that bought into her life. But somewhere under all that DiMera upbringing she'd still seen the man he'd meant to be and that more than anything drew her to him. That faint shadow of the man she knew had the capacity to be truly amazing when he really needed to be.

Like the way she needed him to be last night.

She couldn't imagine what it must have taken from him to do what she had asked of him last night. But he had come through for her like she knew he would. The depth of character that it took to do what he did took her breath away. Sami had no words to answer him with so instead moved her hand that was still touching his cheek so that it was behind his head. She drew his face to hers and rested his forehead against hers as she had done in that rising water when she had promised to fight to come back to him.

There were no more words to be spoken now so they offered each other of the solidity of the other's presence and touch. Words didn't seem enough after what had passed between them and she felt the same desperate need, as she knew he did, to reaffirm their connection in a physical way. They stayed that way for several minutes, quietly drawing strength from one another, as they had always done and would always do.

**oooOOOOooo**

It was 7am and Dr Lexie Carver was going to check on her brother first thing as she'd promised. However her patient from 208 had not been so faithful in the promise keeping department she realised when she arrived to find EJ's room empty. Lexie didn't need to be a rocket scientist to work out where he would be. Sure enough, as she entered Sami's room there he was. Sami was lying on her back in the bed but her face was turned to one side, facing the man sitting beside her. They were both fast asleep. EJ was sitting in a chair but most of his upper body was lying on the bed with a blanket wrapped around him. As Lexie entered the room she was able to see that they were holding both of each other's hands as they slept.

"They look so peaceful," she thought, loathe to wake them.

EJ stirred suddenly and lifted his head from the bed. He had indentations on his face from the sheets and his sister couldn't help but compare him to a little boy in that moment as he tried to fight away the sleep from his brain.

"Have you always had this much of a problem following the simplest directions, Elvis DiMera?" she asked with mild exasperation in voice.

EJ frowned grumpily as he tried to remember where he was and why Lexie was standing over him with her hands on her hips. The events of the previous night rushed back to him in a wave of emotion and he immediately looked over to the woman sleeping beside him. She hadn't woken up when Lexie had spoken and EJ immediately checked to see that she was alright. Her breathing was slow and regular and he realised that she was just asleep and he felt the now familiar sense of relief.

The bruises on her face and arms were really starting to colour up against her pale skin and he knew that he mustn't look much better. His shoulder ached from how he had been sleeping and he flinched slightly as he lent back in his chair. He opened his mouth to answer Lexie with some clever comment but Sami had started to stir and he looked back to her instead. Sami opened her eyes to the bright morning light and blinked a couple of times to clear her head. EJ was sitting beside her holding her hand and Lexie was standing over the both of them, trying to look annoyed.

"I must have been sleep walking," supplied EJ, throwing Lexie one of his trade mark charm soaked smiles, that still managed to work despite him being half asleep.

"Hmmm," replied Lexie, obviously unconvinced by the answer or the smile, "I'll keep that in mind next time and remember to use the restraints on you."

That wiped the grin off his face pretty fast.

"So," smiled Lexie, looking at Sami, "Ready for surgery Sami?"

EJ unconsciously tightened his hold on her hand at that.

"If I say no does that mean I don't have to do it?" asked Sami hopefully with a little grimace.

"I'm afraid not," said Lexie with a regretful shake of her head.

"Well in that case I suppose I'm ready then," said Sami ruefully, "Bring it on."

EJ and Sami looked at each other then, each being brave for the other.

"You know after all this," Sami smiled at him then, "You and me EJ - Mr and Mrs Indestructible - that's us - nothing can touch us now."

_If only she knew how her words were going to be put to the test that day she may not have been quite so flippant._


	37. Chapter 37

**Chapter THIRTY SEVEN**

EJ turned abruptly as he got to the end of the hall and then had to hold his side because of the sharp pain the action caused in his wound but he barely noticed, continuing in his nervous pacing. Sami had been in surgery for over an hour now and the waiting was getting unbearable. They'd released him from hospital earlier that morning and Sami had insisted that he went and checked on the twins which he did. He found them full of beans and very excited to see him and it had been hard to hold all the emotion in check when he finally held them in his arms again. They had come so close to being orphans the day before and EJ was unbelievably grateful that they'd never know that. All they knew was that they'd had fun with Grandma Caroline and apart from Daddy holding onto them a little too tightly for a little too long, all was well with the world.

Amongst the Dada's there were also a lot of Mama's from the twins and EJ's stomach clenched painfully knowing that their mother wasn't out of the woods yet. After having a bit of a game with each of them and helping Caroline feed them some morning tea EJ felt like he had to return to the hospital because Sami was about to go into surgery. He'd thanked Caroline profusely for all that she'd done for them which she'd waved away, telling him to go and look after her granddaughter for her. So that was what EJ had done but unfortunately there was precious little he could do other than pace the hallways of the waiting room and wait for Samantha's surgery to be over. John was keeping him company. EJ hadn't asked him to and John hadn't offered. It had become this kind of unspoken rule somehow that John was always the one to keep vigil over these kinds of things.

"Stop that you're being annoying," said John stoically, not looking up from his newspaper as EJ swept past him for the umpteenth time – he'd stopped counting when he got to triple figures.

EJ gave a grimace and took a seat beside John on the padded bench. He'd no sooner sat down though than his right leg began to jiggle up and down with nervous energy and he began to tap out distracted beat on the wooden arm rest.

"I've changed my mind," said John expressionlessly, still not looking up from his newspaper, "That's more annoying, go back to the first thing you were doing."

EJ sighed heavily and slouched forward in the chair, putting his hand to his face and determinedly keeping his anxious tics to himself. Marlena walked back in then from where she'd gone to make some phone calls and EJ immediately straightened up, looking at her expectantly.

"I haven't heard anything EJ," she said immediately, answering his silent question, "I'm sure that as soon as there is something to tell the doctors will come directly to you."

She looked at him sympathetically, seeing the anxious creases to his face and felt a great empathy with him. She'd been here so many times before, worrying over the fate of a loved one and feeling utterly helpless. Sami was her daughter and it was beyond unbearable to imagine anything happening to her and she could see that EJ felt the same way.

"How are you?" she asked EJ softly.

"Annoying," replied John flatly, turning the page of his newspaper.

EJ sent him an exasperated look at that.

"Gee Uncle," he said with a tinge of sarcasm, "Pot… kettle… black anyone?"

John shrugged, unconcerned by EJ's dig and just kept on reading.

"What is taking so long Marlena?" asked EJ anxiously, "Lexie said that this was going to be a relatively straight forward operation."

"It's always hard to judge these kind of things," Marlena tried to reassure him, "Don't worry EJ, everything is going to be fine."

"That's right," nodded John, "I mean, what's the worse thing that can happen – surgery goes badly and they have to take off the leg. What's the big deal? I mean she's always going on about losing weight, so all in all it wouldn't be that bad."

Marlena and EJ just stared at him, too horrified even to speak.

"Well we have a new winner for the worst thing you have _ever_ said Uncle," said EJ faintly when he finally regained the power of speech, "And there is some very stiff competition for that particular title let me tell you!"

"Why?" asked John in consternation, "There are plenty of perfectly happy people with one leg in the world and would you love her any less because of it?"

"Of course not!" EJ and Marlena in unison.

"Well there you go," said John reasonably, "See all you've got to do is take the worse case scenario and think it through and you find that what you've been worrying about isn't that bad after all."

"I think there is actually some kind of twisted logic in there," said EJ slowly.

"Of course there is," said John with a bit of a pout, offended he should think otherwise.

"But it was still a _truly_ dreadful thing to say Uncle John," said EJ flatly, not willing to give him too much ground, "And besides, that is not the worst thing that could happen Uncle, Samantha could die in surgery."

EJ's voice caught a little as he said the word 'die' and his jaw clenched involuntarily as he struggled to remain calm.

"The wild cat isn't going to die," John dismissed easily with a snort as though that was the stupidest thing he'd ever heard, "I have never met anyone with more life and fight in her then that woman. She's not going anywhere."

That, at last, made EJ feel better. The great certainty with which John had said those things reminded EJ that he was right. Samantha Jean DiMera was a fighter through and through. After all, yesterday she'd come back from the dead for him – a little bit of surgery for her was nothing. And whatever the outcome of that surgery was they'd deal with it together.

"Thank you Uncle John," said EJ sincerely, feeling some of his anxiousness subside, "That actually made me feel better."

"If anything," continued on John blithely, "She's going to be the one burying you. Then she'll probably meet some other guy and remarry…"

"Alright, alright!" said EJ abruptly, unhappy at the mental image John was giving him of Samantha with another man, "I get the picture."

_John gives… and John takes away._

That should be his creed EJ decided darkly as Marlena took a seat beside him, he was the only person he knew that could make you feel happy one moment and then destroy that with the next sentence. It was like some kind of gift and EJ so wish he knew where he could go to return it!

"You're not going to die EJ," said Marlena, patting his leg comfortingly as she sat beside as she saw the unhappy look on the younger man's face.

"Yes he is," corrected John, going back to his newspaper, "We all are."

"But not for a long time," said Marlena with a smile, determinedly ignoring John's pragmatism.

"You don't know that," said John, turning the page of his newspaper again, "He could choke on some food or have a stroke or get eaten by a wild animal…"

"In Salem?" EJ challenged him sceptically, "Is there a high probability of me or anyone else being eaten by a wild animal in _Salem_ do you think Uncle?"

"Could be if the Circus was in town," said John straight faced, "You could be eaten by monkeys."

"Monkeys don't eat humans," said EJ with a sigh, wondering how they'd managed to end up at this particular juncture – he just never saw these things coming!

"They probably just don't advertise the fact," said John knowingly, "Bad for the monkey business."

"EJ," said Marlena and gave him a pointed look.

"I know Marlena," he said, sighing again and shaking his head at his Uncle's ramblings, "There's no way out. I know that but I still keep looking for that escape hatch, or at the very least a self destruct button."

"What are you two talking about?" frowned John, having a feeling it was him somehow.

"Mr DiMera?"

EJ was saved from answering that and falling deeper into the rabbit hole by the sound of a man's voice. They all turned their heads to see Sami's surgeon standing there, still dressed in his surgical greens smiling at them.

"It went well," he told them, pre-empting the inevitable question, "I'm very pleased with how well it went actually. I'm confident that with time and some rigorous physiotherapy your wife will regain full use of her leg."

EJ felt like he started to breathe again as the doctor said that, relief surging through his body like a tidal wave.

"Really?" he needed to hear that again, "She's going to be alright?"

"Well we still have to be concerned about post op infections of course," he said with a little shrug, "But she's young, fit and healthy so I don't see that being a problem and I can't see any reason why your wife won't make a full recovery."

"Thank you," said EJ earnestly, grabbing his hand and shaking it, almost too hard, "Thank you so much doctor!"

"My pleasure," smiled the surgeon – this was the best part of the job – delivering positive outcomes to relatives, it made up for the times when things didn't go so well.

"Can we see her?" asked Marlena, feeling a little teary with her own sense of relief that her little girl was going to be fine.

"She's in recovery now," said the surgeon, "Give it about a half an hour or so and she'll be starting to come out of it and you can see her then."

EJ and Marlena chorused their thanks and the doctor smiled, taking his leave of them. EJ and Marlena grinned at each other and EJ impulsively leant down and hugged the older woman tightly, sharing his joy with her. Marlena laughed and returned his embrace.

"Hey!" said John, standing up and sounding miffed at seeing the two hugging like that, "You got to see her naked – you don't get hugging too!"

"John!" exclaimed Marlena, breaking away from EJ and looking around herself in embarrassment, wondering if anyone had heard John's proclamation.

But then again after the big twin's birthday party there could hardly be a person left in Salem who hadn't heard about that particular embarrassing incident!

"And I was the one who said she'd be fine all along," he pouted, "Where's my hug?"

"Alright big boy," EJ teased him, suddenly in a playful mood after hearing the good news, "Come here and give me a cuddle."

EJ put his arms around John and hugged him. John kept his arms at his side and just stood there.

"Well this is a very depressing turn of events," he said, sounding less than impressed which just made EJ and Marlena laugh at him.

EJ straightened up, a big grin on his face now.

"Come here John," said Marlena, a smile on her face now as well.

She held out her arms to him and John moved in to them willingly, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tightly. Marlena caught EJ's eye over John's shoulder and they shared an affectionate smile, bonding over John's quirkiness.

"I'm going to go down to the flower shop and pick up some flowers for Samantha," he told them, a big smile still on his face.

Marlena smiled and nodded to EJ, still locked in John's embrace. EJ wandered off then and actually began to whistle away happily to himself, all of his own aches and pains completely forgotten now in the euphoria of the knowledge that Sami was going to be alright. He pulled out his cell phone and began to make some phone calls as he made his way to the gift shop downstairs.

"Ah John?" said Marlena finally when John still hadn't released her, "I think you can let me go now."

"No," said John happily and just kept on hugging her.

A work colleague of Marlena's walked by and grinned to see her like that and she smiled calmly back, trying to look as professional as she could under the circumstances. As the seconds ticked away into minutes and John didn't look like he was going to be stopping any time soon Marlena just shook her head.

"John…?" she tried again but he interrupted her before she could get the words out.

"No," he told her just as happily as before, enjoying very much the sensation of holding his Blondie in his arms especially somewhere she couldn't make a scene and get him to stop.

"Well at least buy me lunch afterwards," said Marlena flatly, rolling her eyes and as EJ was learning to do… just went with the flow.

**oooOOOOooo**

"So you understand what it is you're to do?"

The two men exchanged vaguely nervous glances - not about what it was they were about to do rather there was something about being in the old man's presence that was always unsettling.

"Yes Mr DiMera," said one whilst the other nodded.

"Good," said Stefano, giving them a both a hard look before slowly taking a seat, "Do not fail me… I have no patience for people who fail me."

"Yes sir," said the two men in unison.

Stefano waved a hand at them, summarily dismissing them. They left and Stefano leant back in his chair more fully and tapped thoughtfully on the arm rest with a finger.

"It is time for the final act of our aria my son," he said softly to himself, his face hard and unyielding, "The final act…"


	38. Chapter 38

**Chapter THIRTY EIGHT**

EJ walked out of the gift shop, a large bouquet of assorted pink flowers in hand and headed towards the elevator, pressing the button for Sami's floor.

"Hold the elevator!" a voice he immediately recognised called out and EJ stuck out a hand, stopping the doors from closing.

"Hello Joseph," he smiled at the other man, "How are you?"

"How am _I_?" asked Joseph incredulously, a little out of breath from having run to catch the lift, "How are _you_!"

Joseph gave a little frantic flailing of his arms and EJ had to step back a little to avoid having a face full of roses as Joseph too was holding a bouquet of flowers.

"I nearly died when I heard the news!" he exclaimed, looking very upset now, "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine Joseph," nodded EJ, touched by his concern.

"And how's my little blonde kitten?" asked Joseph anxiously, "I couldn't believe it when I rang this morning and they said Sami was having surgery! Tell me she's going to be alright honey – I don't think I could bear it if anything happened to my Sambalina!"

"She's out of surgery," said EJ, enjoying being able to say those words so much, "And the doctors are very optimistic. The surgery went well and her prognosis is for a full recovery."

"Oh thank god!" exclaimed Joseph, holding his chest and looking relieved, "I don't know how I could have gone on if something had happened to my kitten!"

"I know how you feel Joseph," said EJ with a soft smile, the thought an unbearable one for him, "But she's going to be fine. In fact she should be out of recovery now and I'm heading there directly to visit with her."

"Oh wonderful," sighed Joseph, "Is it alright if we visit as well with you – I don't want to intrude on family time?"

"You're family Joseph," EJ smiled warmly and meant it, "You're always welcome any time to visit with us."

Joseph looked a little teary at EJ's sentiment and then EJ realised he'd said we.

"Who's we Joseph?" asked EJ curiously, finally remembering to press the button and the lift doors slide shut.

"Oh," said Joseph, "I came with Emmy – she's just parking the car in the underground car park. She told me to go on ahead and she'd catch up."

"Oh good," said EJ, his smile widening, "I don't know how awake Samantha is going to be but I'm certain that she'll be pleased to know that you were both here."

"It's a crisis honey," said Joseph with a knowing nod, "All the troops have to rally in a crisis."

Joseph bit his lip and looked at EJ, thinking about what Jo Jo had told him about what had happened to EJ and Sami yesterday and he was just overcome with emotion.

"I'm so glad you're both alright!" he suddenly wailed, all teary again and threw one of his arms around EJ and hugged him tightly, putting his cheek on EJ's chest and giving an emotional cry, "I can't bear to think of my two darlings going through something like that!"

EJ grimaced a little above Joseph's head as he unintentionally clung to the side that had the stitches but didn't say anything. EJ put his hand that wasn't holding flowers on Joseph's back and patted it comfortingly as the other man began to sniffle.

"It's alright Joseph," he told him, trying to comfort him and avoid having an eye scratched out from the bunch of roses that Joseph had distractedly put level with his face during the embrace, "Both Samantha and I are going to be fine."

The elevator dinged then, telling them that they'd reached the requested floor and the doors began to slide open.

"It's just that I love you both so much!" said Joseph, his voice a louder than strictly necessary because he was feeling so emotional.

"What the hell?"

EJ looked up from comforting Joseph to see his father in law looking at him in open disbelief and gave an inward sigh of resignation. It was clear the universe was determined to ruin any attempts on EJ's behalf to win the approval of his wife's father… perhaps it was just time to give up and go with the flow.

"Hello Roman," said EJ calmly, even as Joseph still clung to him.

Roman frowned and looked at the two men embracing in the elevator and didn't know what to make of it. He didn't get much more of a chance to ponder it though because Joseph had heard Roman's voice and seeing as they'd met a couple of time now felt perfectly comfortable with offering his condolences to Roman as well… Joseph style.

"Oh Roman!" he exclaimed, releasing EJ only to step out of the elevator and throw his arms around the startled man, "You must have been desperate when you thought you might lose EJ and Sami – you poor man!"

"Well I think you're half right there Joseph," said EJ dryly, stepping out the lift himself now and seeing how Roman was giving him an unimpressed glare – as though somehow EJ was responsible for his current predicament.

EJ seriously doubted that Roman would have cried himself to sleep if he'd been killed yesterday somehow. EJ's lips curled up in mild amusement as he watched Roman trying to deal with Joseph's effusive comforting technique. He'd found it was always just best to give into these things when it came to the likes of Joseph and John… resistance is futile so why try? Roman still had yet to learn that and was trying to struggle to break free of the other man's bear hug as now it was his turn to deal with eye gouging by roses. When Joseph was good and ready he finally released Roman and held him at arms length, hands on his shoulders, bouquet now threatening to scratch Roman's ear to pieces.

"See," said Joseph happily, "Doesn't a good hug make everything seem just that little bit better?"

"Well I know _I _certainly feel all the better for it," said EJ, tongue firmly in his cheek from having enjoyed watching Roman trying to escape Joseph's clutches.

That earned him a glare from Roman but EJ was in such a good mood now that he knew Sami was going to be alright he simply didn't care.

Samantha was going to be alright and nothing else mattered, not right then anyway.

"So Roman," said EJ calmly, "Are you coming with us to see Samantha?"

"I just quickly went in and saw her," Roman informed them, "She's still asleep but I have to get back to the station. And EJ… you and I still need to talk properly about what happened last night. I'll need a statement as soon as you can."

"I'll just wait until Samantha wakes up and come down to the station directly," nodded EJ, "Will that be convenient?"

"Yeah," nodded Roman and distractedly pulled a piece of baby's breath from his hair, curtesy of Joseph's enthusiastic grief counselling method, "That sounds fine EJ. And tell Sami I'll be back later on today to check on her will you?"

"Of course," said EJ smoothly and moved to one side so that Roman could get into the elevator.

"EJ, Joe," said Roman with a final nod at them both the doors of the elevator closed and took him away from them both.

EJ and Joseph started to walk down the hall, heading towards Sami's room. Marlena had passed him in the gift shop on the way out with John and told him that the two of them were just quickly going home to get changed and they'd be back in a little while to see Sami. Obviously she'd finally managed to get John to release her from that hug in the end.

"Roman really doesn't like you, does he?" noted Joseph as they walked along the hospital halls together, "Why is that exactly honey?"

"Oh Joseph that is a long and complicated tale that will have to left for another time," sighed EJ with a little laugh.

"Is it because you saw his ex naked?" asked Joseph sympathetically.

"Well that certainly didn't help," admitted EJ ruefully, "There's Samantha's room, on your left Joseph."

Joseph stopped then as EJ opened the door for Joseph and let him through first.

"Have you thought of trying to find a common interest… something you could do together?" offered up Joseph, trying to be helpful, "I had this friend of mine who… oh… oh…. OH!"

Joseph had come to stop just inside of Sami's room and EJ frowned a little as he ran into him but his complaint quickly died on his lips when he saw what was causing all the oh's from Joseph. EJ's eyes widened as he looked at the two men standing in Samantha's room. One over to their right was short and stocky and was dressed in a poorly fitting suit, no tie and the other was besides Sami's bed, similarly attired with a buzz cut but what caught EJ's attention far more than his wardrobe and choice of hair styles was what he was doing. The man with the buzz cut was leaning over Sami, syringe in one hand and her drip line in the other, poised to inject one into the other.

"NO!"

EJ said the single word and bolted across the room, throwing the bouquet of flowers to the ground in the process. He got there just in time to grab the still surprised man's arm and jerk it and him away from Sami. The man stumbled but quickly picked himself up, throwing the syringe to one side and running at EJ, intent on tackling him to the ground. His cohort was springing into action now and was about to join his partner in crime in subduing EJ when Joseph finally unfroze from his last 'OH!'. With a banshee scream that could have cut glass Joseph raced into the room, joining the fray. In a feat of agility that he would later wonder where it had come from, Joseph threw himself onto the back of the other man and held on for dear life.

Stocky Man gave a startled gasp but it was stifled somewhat because Joseph in his adrenalin boosted fit of bravery had forgotten to let go of the roses he had been clutching and they were now shoved squarely in the mans face as Joseph clung to the man's back, arms around his neck. The man swore and tried to tear away the sharp, thorny flowers that were scratching at his face and all the extra foliage that was making breathing difficult and seeing impossible. The stocky man staggered backwards, disorientated and caught off guard by Joseph's unexpected attack and the fact that the man was still screaming a very high pitched scream in his ear.

Joseph grunted, the screaming finally stopping when his back connected with the wall as the man threw him into it with all his weight. Somewhere in the back of his mind he managed to think that being rammed up against a wall by a strange man should be a lot more fun than this but didn't have time to think beyond that. Joseph loosened his hold on the man and slid down the wall on to the floor. Between the man's legs he could see that EJ and Buzz cut Man were still going at it but Buzz Cut Man had just managed to break free and was running from the room, EJ hot on his heels. Joseph looked up at Stocky Man and arched a defiant eyebrow at him as he stood over him.

"Give up?!" he demanded to know of the man.

Stocky Man just growled and went to grab at Joseph but Joseph was too quick for him… they didn't just to call him Joseph the Squirrel in college for nothing! Actually it was a nickname more to do about nuts than actual speed and agility but that was a story for another time because Joseph had managed to crawl quickly between the man's legs on his hands and knees. Joseph leapt up and realised that he didn't really have any kind of plan after that to deal with this thug so he put his fists up in the worst imitation of a boxing stance ever attempted… ever… in the history of the world.

The man gave him a disgusted look and then saw the discarded needle on the floor and quickly forgot about Joseph, not seeing him as a real threat anymore. At least not know he'd dropped his bouquet of flowers. Joseph saw where he was looking and knew exactly what he intended, to take up where his partner had left off and Joseph was having none of that.

"Not on my watch big boy!" he shouted and looked around for some kind of weapon to help him protect Sami with.

He didn't see anything immediately so resorted to opening a nearby little closet and pulling out the first thing that he put his hands on, desperate to stop the man from hurting his Sami. Stocky Man was straightening up from picking up the needle and syringe with the white, fluffy pillow hit him full in the face before bouncing off him harmlessly.

"Oh," puffed Joseph in disappointment, out of breath from all of his exertions and looking at the pillow on the ground, "That wasn't what I was going for at all!"

Stocky man's look of disgust at Joseph only deepened as he made a bee line for Sami's bed and her drip line. The needle was in the plastic tubing and he was just about to push the plunger down and inject whatever evilness was in the syringe into her line when there was an incredibly loud clanging noise. The world went black for Stocky Man as he slumped forwards, crumbling to the ground, completely unconscious. Joseph stood over him, the shiny metal bed pan he'd just used to belt the man over the head with still in his hand.

"Like I said sugar!" exclaimed Joseph, gasping and sweaty after all that tussling, "_Not_ on my watch!"

Joseph looked around and saw that Sami was lying in her bed, quietly sleeping and oblivious to it all and blew out a relieved breath. He then looked down at the unconscious man at his feet and realised what had just happened. Joseph drew himself up to his full height and began to nod his head.

"Oh yeah," he said, starting to sound very proud of himself, "Joseph is in _da_ _house_! I am a killing machine!"

Joseph raised the bed pan above his head, clutching it in both hands like he'd just won Wimbledon and began to do a little victory dance around the room at what he'd just accomplished, feeling a swell of pride.

"I am a killing machine!" he announced triumphantly, really starting to get his groove on and willing his hips and still brandishing the bed pan above his head, "I am a killin…"

Unfortunately in his little lap of honour Joseph had turned around and for the first time he caught sight of Sami's leg that, despite being heavily bandaged, some blood had begun to ooze through the white bindings. At seeing this, in mid sentence, half way through a leap in the air Joseph promptly fainted, hitting the ground in an ignominious heap, completely out to it. Lexie arrived a few seconds later with the security guards in tow, her eyes opening wide at the sight in front of her.

Sami lay sleeping peacefully in her bed while a dark haired, blocky looking man lay on the floor beside the bed, not moving and Joseph was at the foot of the bed, face down on the floor and he wasn't moving either, a bed pan clutched in one hand. The room had things knocked over and broken and there were splatteredroses everywhere.

"Oh my," she said and shook her head, hurrying over to check on Sami first and then Joseph.

_What had gone on here exactly? _

**oooOOOOooo**

In the mean time, while Joseph was finding alternative uses for a bed pan EJ had been in hot pursuit of Buzz Cut Man. To EJ it looked as though Joseph had the other man more or less under control, rather amazingly, when he left so he felt it was safe enough for him to leave Sami and run this other man down. His father had to be behind this and he wanted to know where he was. The man had taken the internal stair well and was heading down it at a great speed and EJ wasn't far behind him. He'd caught up to him on one of the landings and after a few well aimed punches had the man leant back over the railing. EJ put his face into the other man's sweaty one, pushing back on him so the man's feet came off the ground and it was only EJ's hand at his collar that was stopping Buzz Cut Man from tumbling over the railing to a very nasty fall.

"Where is my Father?!" raged EJ, his brown eyes hard and cold, "Tell me or your life ends now!"

Buzz Cut Man looked wide eyed back up at the other man and could see that he meant it. He knew who EJ was and a son of the Old Man wouldn't think twice about making good on such a threat.

"He… he's hiding out on Patrice Street," stammered the man, "There is a gardening depot there that isn't in use at the moment, on the south side… lots of big sheds… he's there!"

EJ considered what to do next, all he had to do was loosen his grip on the man and he would tumble to a certain death on the concrete below. There was no one around and no one to know what really happened and the man would get what he deserved for hurting Samantha. It was tempting, very tempting, especially with the blood pumping through his veins, the adrenalin coursing through his body and a very clear picture of the other man about to inject god only knows what into Samantha's drip. After a very long minute where Buzz Cut Man held his breath, knowing his life was in the balance and seeing the other man thinking about what his fate was to be EJ finally straightened up.

Buzz Cut Man felt his feet being placed back on the ground and blew out a relieved breath; Stefano didn't pay him enough to die doing this job. EJ kept a tight hand on the mans jacket, intending on dragging him back up the stairs and handing him over to hospital security but Buzz Cut Man had other ideas. Once he realised that EJ wasn't going to simply kill him there and then he threw all his weight at EJ, catching him off guard as he staggered back a couple of steps. It was just enough for Buzz Cut Man to whirl around and head back down the stairs again. He made it to the bottom of the stairs and ran to the doors that lead out into the underground car park, conscious of the fact that EJ was hot on his heels still. Buzz Cut Man barrelled through the door and promptly crashed into Emily coming the other way.

"Oh my!" she said in surprise, her car keys clattering to the ground as the man grabbed at her to stop himself from falling over completely.

This unexpected obstacle had given EJ just enough time to catch the man out, rushing out of the same doors only to find Emily and Buzz Cut Man together now.

"Emily!" said EJ in horror as Buzz Cut Man took advantage of the situation and grabbed Emily's arm, pulling her against him before grabbing out the gun he had in his coat pocket and holding it to her head.

"Stay there!" he ordered EJ sharply, "Don't come any closer!"

EJ's stomach churned to see Emily in such a predicament and felt instantly guilty for causing it to happen, however inadvertent it had been.

"Don't hurt her!" he said tightly to the man.

"Then stay where you are!" said the other man and EJ immediately stopped moving towards the two of them.

"You," said Emily disapprovingly, who was never one to take these kinds of things lying down, "Are a _very_ rude young man!"

EJ's eyes widened at Emily's words as did her would be attacker, looking at her a bit askew as he continued to hold her at gunpoint.

"I mean does your mother know what you do for a living?" tutted Emily, "I'm sure she would be terribly disappointed to know this is how you're making your way in this world."

"Emily please!" said EJ sounding a little anxious now, unbearably conscious of the fact that she currently had a gun pressed against her temple even if she seemed to be finding it a trifle inconvenient more than anything else.

Did _all_ the women in his life have to be this feisty he wondered distractedly.

"Don't worry about me dear boy!" she said enthusiastically, almost seeming to be enjoying the action, "Show him who is boss… kick him in the nuts!"

Both men looked at her a little taken aback by that last statement and Emily looked back proudly unrepentant.

"Shut up both of you!" shouted the man, turning his gun on EJ now and wanting to get control of this situation again.

"We don't we all just calm down eh?" asked EJ evenly, raising his hands so the man would feel a little less threatened then his current wide eyed expression would suggest he was, "There is no need for anyone to get hurt here."

"I disagree," said Emily blithely and took advantage of the fact that the gun was no longer trained on her and brought her heel down as hard as she could on her captives instep.

The man howled in pain, immediately shoving her roughly away from him. Emily tried to regain her balance but he'd pushed her too hard and she began to fall. The man turned then and made a mad dash for freedom. In a split second EJ had a decision to make, go after the man or stop Emily from hitting the ground but it was no real decision at all. EJ threw himself towards Emily, managing to catch her just before she hit the ground and pulled her back up and into his arms.

"Oh!" she said in surprise, because it had all happened so quickly, "Good reflexes my boy."

"Mandatory married to Samantha," he told her distractedly, "Emily are you alright? Are you hurt?"

"Of course not," she sniffed, offended at the very idea, "I've taken worse shovings at the annual Nordstrom post Christmas sales!"

EJ shook his head, undone by these plucky women in his life and then looked over his shoulder at the man who was currently making good his getaway and grimaced. The man looked back over his shoulder to see where EJ was and grinned to see him far behind him. The man's happiness was to be short lived though as because he wasn't looking where he was going he ran directly out in front of an oncoming car that had just zipped in from the street outside. The sound of the impact was sickening and both EJ and Emily grimaced to hear it. The man rolled up the hood and onto the roof before the car came to a stop and he tumbled down again, hitting the concrete with a dull thud.

"Well this isn't quite up there with the flamingos for heart stopping drama," said Emily a little taken aback, watching as people began to gather around the fallen man even as EJ continued to hold on to her, as shocked as she was, "But it comes pretty damn close!"

**oooOOOOooo**

Twenty minutes later a newly conscious Joseph was excitedly telling Bo all about his adventures as the other man tried to take a statement from him but it was proving to be quite the task to keep Joseph on topic.

"It was a lot like the first time I had sex really," said Joseph with an expressive wave of his hand, "A lot of screaming and flailing of limbs and hoping something ends up where it should."

Bo pursed his lips and looked down at his notepad and then back at Joseph.

"I don't think I can really write that in my report Joe," he said stoically, "Do you think you could fill that out with a little more detail for me"

"Sure honey," said Joseph happily, quite enjoying being the centre of attention now, "His name was Armando and he was an exchange student from Cuba. Our eyes met in Mr Fitzpatrick's chemistry glass over a warm beaker of something blue… or was it red… I don't remember now…?"

"I meant about the fight," Bo interrupted him, looking a little frazzled, "Not about… you know… the other…"

"Oh," said Joseph with a little laugh and a hand flutter, "I suppose you do. But remind me to tell you the other story at some stage sweetie – it's a great story!"

"I think I'll pass Joe," said Bo with a little grimace and shook his head at the other man in vague amusement.

"Did Sami wake up at all?" asked Marlena anxiously, stroking her daughters head even as she lay there, fast asleep now and oblivious to all the fuss.

She was in no way up to all of this excitement at the moment and Marlena worried as any mother would about what this might do to her.

"I heard a woman screaming," said Lexie with a frown, "When I was running down the corridor to get here."

"Oh," said Joseph suddenly, putting his hand up at that, "That was me honey."

"I see," said Lexie ruefully, "Wow Joseph, that's some scream you've got on you."

"It gets kind of high pitched in the heat of the moment," he admitted, "I find it catches a lot of people off guard in the heat of battle giving me the advantage."

"So you've been involved in a lot of fights have you Joey?" asked Emily with a small smile, trying to picture that.

"Well including the one today," said Joseph, looking as though he was counting them up, "I've been a grand total of… one fight in my life. But this one went so well I'm quite looking forward to the next now! Oh and Marlena, it's alright sweetie – Sami didn't wake up through the whole thing. It they ever make sleeping into an Olympic event then you're girls got a real chance of bringing home the gold for the old US of A."

"She is pretty heavily sedated Joe," Lexie reminded him with a little laugh.

"Oh well that's probably going to cause problems when it comes to the drug testing required for all Olympic contestants," said Joseph thoughtfully, lost in his own little fantasy world there for a moment, "We'd have to work on that."

Marlena looked at Joseph and arched an eyebrow and understood now more than ever why John liked the man so much. Joseph seemed to share John's slightly eccentric way of looking at things and she couldn't help but feel happy that John had someone he could feel a kinship with. That being said though it was probably going to be a good idea not to let them go out together unchaperoned at any point. John walked into the room then and looked around at everyone, sensing right away something had happened.

"What's this?" he frowned at them.

"Two men got into Sami's room and tried to off her!" said Joseph dramatically, "EJ and I arrived just in time to stop them. Oh Jo Jo – you should have been here! It was unbelievable."

"There was a fight?" said John, sounding really disappointed now, "And I missed it."

"I fought one and EJ chased down the other," said Joseph excitedly.

"Did you use a straw?" asked John with great interest – if he couldn't have been here for the fighting the least he could do was get all the details.

"No, a bed pan!" said Joseph triumphantly, "He went down like my first college boyfriend!"

"I wouldn't have thought it would fit," mused John to himself, obviously trying to visualise this in his head.

Marlena looked at the two me and shook her head… oh my; they _definitely_ weren't going to be allowed out together without a baby sitter of some kind!

"Oh yeah, I whipped his ass but good!" continued on Joseph proudly, looking very pleased with himself, "And that's the first time I've been able to say that without me being naked at the time!"

"Oh brother," said Bo weakly, finding out more than he ever needed to know about Joseph today.

"What about the other one?" asked John, "The one Elvis went after."

"He's dead," said EJ flatly, walking into the room now back from having his the stitches he'd busted from the tussle redone.

Roman had told him about the man's death on his way back to Sami's room and there was a grim satisfaction to the knowledge that he wouldn't be hurting anyone else ever again. It was no less than what he deserved after all. If EJ had been but a few seconds later then he would have had time to inject whatever it was into Sami's drip and there was no doubt in EJ's mind that Sami would be dead by now if he'd managed it.

"You killed him?!" asked John and there was a definite sound of admiration in his voice.

"He was hit by a car," said EJ with a little grimace, not entirely comfortable with his Uncle's excitement at the thought.

"Were you driving the car?" asked John, pursuing his line of questioning.

"No," said EJ, "I wasn't Uncle."

"Oh well," sighed John, "All roads lead to home I guess."

"Rome!"

John arched an eyebrow when everyone in the room, except for Sami who was still sleeping for her country of course, corrected him as one. Seeing as there were now seven people in the room other than John and Sami it ended up being quite loud.

"Okay, that's it," said Lexie determinedly, "Everyone out. This is a hospital room and Sami needs peace and quiet, not this circus."

Lexie began to usher them all out now, talking amongst themselves. Marlena gave Sami a farewell kiss and left, taking John with her. Emily rounded up Joseph and Bo trailed after them all. They all trooped out until there was only EJ left in the room with Lexie.

"I'm just going to sit with her for a moment," said EJ quietly.

"Of course," said Lexie, putting a comforting hand on his arm when she saw his distressed face, "She's going to be fine EJ. You stopped that man in time."

"This time," said EJ grimly, "What about the next time our father sends someone after her or the twins or you and Theo?"

"We can only deal with the here and now EJ," she told him quietly, "And right now… you saved Sami's life. Go and just be with her EJ, you'll feel better, I promise."

EJ gave a little nod and a faint grimace, acknowledging her words. Lexie patted his arm and moved to get past him but he stopped her with a hand on her arm now. Lexie looked up at him expectantly waiting for him to say something but instead EJ simply leant down and pressed a kiss to her cheek before resting his own against hers for a long moment. Lexie was touched by his display of quiet emotion and affection for her and squeezed his hand when he finally straightened up. With a last look she left him to be alone with Sami.

EJ walked slowly up to the bed, his eyes moving all over Sami's still form before leaning over her and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead and taking a seat beside her. She didn't even stir and EJ was glad that she was resting peacefully. The same couldn't be said for him. His insides were churning right now. The audacity of his father to make another attempt of her life right here in the hospital was unbelievable. The man was a menace that just wouldn't stop. The fact that he'd come so close to losing Sami twice in such a short amount of time and by the will of his own father was a lot to deal with. EJ sat there for a long moment just looking down at his wife's lovely face and drawing comfort from each gentle rise and fall of her chest.

"I love you Samantha," he told her softly, even as she slept, "I've never loved anyone or anything the way I love you."

He reached out and gently stroked her cheek with his fingers.

"I can't bear the thought of you ever being hurt or afraid," he confessed to her tenderly.

He closed his eyes then, making a decision at last that had been his entire lifetime in the making. EJ opened his eyes again and looked down at Sami with deep regret and longing.

"And that's why I have to do this now Samantha," he told her simply, a deep anguish in his voice, "I need you to understand why I'm doing this. I'm doing this for you… everything I have done… everything I will ever do… it's always for you."

EJ stood up slowly and bent over her again, pressing his lips to hers in the softest of kisses before resting his forehead against hers briefly, gathering the strength he needed to do what needed to be done. He straightened up then and with a last long look at Sami's peaceful countenance he left her room. Avoiding the rest of the family that was just in the lounge together outside Sami's room, EJ silently made his way to the stair well and walked down them until he was at the underground car park. Police were still milling around the crime scene from earlier but EJ determinedly avoided them, making his way towards his car.

EJ pulled out of the parking space and headed out onto the street. It was getting darker now and it took EJ a moment to navigate in this unfamiliar part of town but soon enough he was pulling up just down the road from gardening depot the man had described to him. He pulled the hand brake on and turned off the engine before reaching across to the glove box. After checking on the twins earlier in the day he'd made one more important stop at home before coming back to the hospital.

EJ pulled out the gun he'd stashed in the glove box along with a pair of black gloves and checked that the gun was loaded. He then got out of the car, shoving it down the back of his pants and then put on his gloves. That done he began to determinedly make his way towards the gardening depot. A quote from the bible kept coming to him as he walked, a line from Corinthians…

_"When I was a child I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man I put away childish things…" _

EJ climbed over the high wire fence barricading off the garden warehouse from the street, avoiding the obligatory guards that were wondering around. He walked down along the side of the main building until he was at the back storehouse and there was a light inside so he headed towards it. Despite the light, the room was still dim and he walked in. He immediately saw the man sitting at a little make shift table, a glass of wine in front of him as he dined on a dinner that didn't look like it had been defrosted and microwaved somehow.

"Ah good your back," said Stefano, not bothering to turn around as he continued to happily eat his meal, "So tell me Thomas, do I have one less Christmas card to send out this year eh?"

"Not exactly."

Stefano paused, his next forkful of food halfway to his mouth before he calmly placed the utensil back down and turned around slowly, leaning back in his chair and regarding the younger man calmly.

"Hello Elvis."


	39. Chapter 39

**Chapter THIRTY NINE**

"Father," said EJ with a barely perceptible nod of his head.

Stefano tapped the top of his chair with one finger and regarded EJ thoughtfully. The younger man's face was hard to read beyond a kind of quiet determination.

"So my son," said Stefano eventually, "I take it that condolences aren't in order for your loss eh?"

"No," said EJ quietly.

"Your wife," said Stefano with a small sigh of resignation, "She has taken on more than the DiMera name it would seem… she has also taken on our propensity to survive in this world, wouldn't you say Elvis?"

"I would say that Samantha is and always will be an incredible and strong woman," replied EJ evenly, "Regardless of her last name."

"You know Elvis," said Stefano, absently scratching at his carefully manicured beard, "I must admit I did not think much of your infatuation with Samantha Brady."

"You shock me," said EJ flatly and his father gave a little laugh at his sarcasm.

"Eh," he said with an unapologetic shrug, "I thought she was beneath you, beneath our name."

"Because our name means everything doesn't it Father?" asked EJ calmly.

"The DiMera name is one you should be proud to bear my son," said Stefano emphatically, "And even though I thought your choice of Brady women to seduce…"

Stefano waggled his head from side to side, finding the right words.

"… questionable shall we say," he continued on, "After seeing what she did two nights ago to save you both… well there is a magnificence to her soul that befit's the DiMera name after all."

"You saw that?" asked EJ with an arch of an eyebrow, the first time he'd shown any change of facial expression at all.

"Of course," said Stefano, looking a little surprised he should ask, "You are my son Elvis, I would not leave you to die alone."

"But you're pretty comfortable with being the one actually causing me to die in the first place evidently," noted EJ dryly, at a loss to understand his father's twisted logic.

"There are consequences for the choices we make in this world my son," said Stefano, obviously feeling he had nothing to be remorseful about, "What kind of a father would I be if I did not teach you that ah?"

"So this was your version of sending me to my room with out any supper was it Father?" asked EJ coldly, "Drowning both Samantha and I in a hole… a little extreme in the discipline department wouldn't you say hmm?"

"The punishment should fit the crime," sniffed Stefano, "You betrayed me Elvis - family is everything and you betrayed that!"

"Well in that case what is one more betrayal then?" asked EJ almost amicably, reaching for the gun in his waistband and raising it with both hands and levelling it at his father.

Stefano pursed his lips and regarded EJ steadily, seemingly unconcerned with this latest twist in their story. In fact if anything it seemed to put him in an nostalgic mood.

"This is nice, is it not Elvis?" asked Stefano, standing slowly and painfully to his feet and EJ knew the display of weakness was for his benefit and hardened his heart against it, "The two of us, father and son together… talking as we have not done in so long."

"Yes it's quite the family moment isn't it?" quipped EJ acerbically, "An abandoned warehouse, a score to settle and a loaded gun pointed at someone… it has all the hallmarks of a DiMera get together anyway."

"I am curious Elvis," sighed Stefano, "I have been sitting here, thinking long and hard about it and trying to pin point exactly when it was you began to pull away from me. We used to be so close you and I… and now look at us - you are pointing a gun at your own father for goodness sake! How did this come to pass eh?"

"Well I think there were a lot of little things," said EJ sarcastically, "You kidnapping Samantha, trying to harvest stem cells from our unborn children and endangering their lives, you sending one of your goons out to try and kill me, you taking the side of a man like Andre - a man who killed your own son I might add."

"Benji turned his back on me," said Stefano and then a look of sadness came over him, "But I regret his death… there should have been another way."

"Gee," said EJ acrimoniously, "Do you think Father? Some other way other than killing your own child to unnaturally lengthen your own? Surely you are being too hard on yourself?"

"Do not use that tone with me Elvis!" snapped Stefano, "I am your father! I demand your respect."

"Ah well there you go Father," said EJ, his voice hard, "Respect is earned, not demanded. And if you really want to know what finally pushed that last wedge between us it was what you'd done to John. Finding him at the mansion that day, realising what you'd done to him - it changed everything for me. I realised that you were only ever interested in yourself Father - your goals, your thirst for revenge and destruction. When other people suited your purposes they curried favour with you and you were generous - I won't deny that but as soon as they were no longer useful or stood up to you then you discarded them… brutally. You are a man without compassion or mercy, no sense of the value of people other than yourself. You put yourself above everything else."

"How dare you say these things to me?!" raged Stefano, "I gave you everything!"

"Yes you did," said EJ with a sad shake of his head, his hand tightening on the gun as bittersweet memories of his childhood came to him, "You told me I was the only important thing in the world, that I was to put myself first in everything I did… after you of course. I could never question my father because he was perfection himself and I believed it - whole heartedly and never once wondered where that mind set would take me."

Stefano lifted his chin, his expression hardening as he listened to his son's condemnation of him but said nothing as EJ continued on.

"I stood there that day, looking down on John and seeing what you'd done to him and what that was going to cost me with my relationship with Samantha and you didn't care… not even slightly. I saw my future then… I saw what selfishness and a thirst for control and power could really do. The scales fell from my eyes that day Father and I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I did not want to become you… any part of you. I wanted to know what it was to have people love me, choose me and not have them forced or manipulated into it. You never had that Father - not even with me because the man I loved never existed - he was just a fantasy that I allowed myself to believe for too long but no more…"

EJ raised the gun to point squarely at Stefano's chest, a set look of determination coming over his face.

"You have terrorised the people that I love for the last time," he said ominously.

"So now you're going to kill me ah?" asked his Father, sticking his hands in his pockets and seeming to consider this thoughtfully but it was more like he was trying to decide between what restaurants to go to for dinner tonight then any real threat on his life.

Stefano's hand came in contact with the hard, cold steel of the gun he had secreted away there and his fingers touched the smooth surface even as he continued in his talk with EJ, giving nothing away.

"The thought had occurred," said EJ ironically as he looked down the barrel of the gun at him.

"But doesn't this put you in somewhat of a dilemma my son?" asked Stefano, tilting his head and viewing his son curiously, "According to you, you are one of the good guys now eh? Full of self righteous pride and supposedly high moral fibre. Would a man such as that really shoot an unarmed man in cold blood… especially his own father? By killing me you become the monster you purport to hate so much."

"I'm aware of the irony thank you Father," said EJ wryly but not lowering the gun.

"So all of this new found virtue is just for show eh?" Stefano posed the question, "To impress your new relatives that you are not the son of Stefano DiMera… so they accept you into the fold."

Stefano shook his head, obviously repulsed by the thought.

"Bah… that I should live to see the day a son of mine would grovel to be part of the Brady family!" growled Stefano, "It would have been better that I had never survived if this is to be my reward!"

"I think there would be quite a few people who would be in agreement with you about that Father," said EJ with a humourless smile.

"So why don't you shoot me Elvis?" goaded his father, with a careless shrug, "I would rather be dead then see my own flesh and blood behave in such a way. End my misery my son, this is too much to bear!"

EJ gave a little shake of his head at his father's theatrics - he should have known to expect nothing less. He'd come here fully prepared to end Stefano's life, snuff out at least one piece of evil from the world for good. It was time, past time that this man be held in account for his actions but the truth was that wasn't what had driven EJ to be standing there holding a gun at his father right then. He had almost lost Samantha twice now in as many days by the hand of the man standing in front of him and EJ knew it wouldn't stop.

The thought of losing Samantha paralysed him, made him think of nothing else but protecting her and their children… beyond that he could not think. It would be so easy, a mere movement of one finger and it would be over but at what cost? He'd turned his back on that man his father had wanted him to become and chosen love instead but if it was this very act of repentance that would ultimately result in him losing all that he loved - what was the point? Stefano watched his son's face, his brown eyes so like his own betraying him as he pondered his next move.

"So are you going to kill me Elvis?" sneered Stefano, "Or do I have time to finish off my dinner with an excellent cigar?"

"Careful Father," returned EJ smoothly, still holding the gun to his chest, "I've heard those things can kill you."

"Ah," laughed Stefano, amused by his humour, "You should know by now Elvis… I am not so easily killed."

"No," agreed EJ, suddenly sombre, "You excel in the killing department rather than the dying one don't you Father?"

EJ slowly lowered his gun then and looked very seriously back at Stefano.

"And I don't want to become the man you are," said EJ simply.

"You are weak Elvis," said his father, his lips curling in a humourless, cruel smile as his fingers curled around the gun in his pocket,

"Maybe I'm just a better man than my father?" suggested EJ calmly.

"If that will make you happy to think that then by all means," said Stefano with a sarcastic laugh, "Delude yourself my son."

Stefano gave EJ a disgusted look as the younger man stood there, gun still in hand but arms down by his side. Stefano's hand tightened on his still concealed gun as he prepared to end this at last.

"You are such a disappointment Elvis," said Stefano with a shake of his head, his expression becoming cold and hard, "I gave you all of my love and you betray me so utterly. But what more can I expect from a man so weak as you I wonder eh? A man who turns his back on everything for a shallow, fickle woman and a Brady no less! Your grandfather Santo would be turning in his grave if he knew!"

"Santo would be happy to know that at least one of his descendants knew what it was to love and be loved the way he and Colleen did," said EJ with great certainty.

"My father lost everything in the world that was important to him because of the Brady's!" spat out Stefano, "Theirs is a debt that can not be repaid… ever!"

"Where has this vendetta gotten you eh Father?" asked EJ, a little hopelessly as he saw him still clinging to the feud with all of his waning strength, "You are alone in this world, abandoned by everyone except for some heavies that you have to pay to protect you. Isn't it time to just stop this foolishness yet Father?"

"Foolishness?" repeated Stefano, his voice tight now, "You would call my life's work foolish Elvis?"

"I would could it all in vain," said EJ with a shrug, "It's over, can't you see that Father? There is no more to be gained from pursuing it… not that there ever was but you need to understand that and let it go."

"As you have done my son?" asked Stefano bitterly, "In your feebleness and lack of conviction eh Elvis. You would want me to become as pathetic as you… a man that even when the supposed love of his life is threatened… even then he does so little to revenge it. You come here… threatening me but then all you are good for are words and sighs Elvis…!"

Stefano's voice had begun to rise as he chastised his son for what as he saw as his complete lack of DiMera character and could stand to look at him no longer.

"You have no courage of your convictions!" spat out Stefano, "You would rather whine like a child and pout rather than be a man! You sicken me - I have managed to teach you nothing, nothing do you hear me?! I have no son and know this Elvis… you could have saved them all but you were too weak in the end…"

Stefano quickly pulled out his gun then and aimed it squarely at EJ's chest and began to squeeze the trigger.

The sound of the gun being fired was surprisingly quiet in the end, not the loud bang that should probably have befitted such a momentous ending of a things. The two men stared at each other for a split second, the sound of the gun shot still echoing slightly in their ears as what had happened began to sink in for the two of them. The seconds stretched and slowed as father and son looked upon each other for the last time.

"Elvis…"

There was surprise in Stefano's voice now as he looked down at his chest, feeling a sudden wetness there. He grimaced and sucked in a pained breath, finally dropping the unfired gun that was in his hand and it clattered to the ground unnoticed by the pair. EJ lowered his slightly smoking gun a little and regarded his father's dawning comprehension expressionlessly. He'd seen Stefano's sudden movement, had been expecting nothing less and when the moment came EJ had responded, quickly bringing up his own gun and firing. There was a grim satisfaction when the bullet found it's mark and he watched as Stefano crumpled to the ground, clutching at his chest. EJ walked over to where the man was now lying on the ground, blinking up at him in a kind of surprised confusion.

"Elvis…" said Stefano again and this time his voice was weak and fading, the life blood draining out of him even as his heart struggled to continue pumping and keep him alive.

EJ crouched down beside the dying man and looked him up and down dispassionately. Stefano was just looking up at him wide eyed now, speech no longer possible as the life left his body.

"You're wrong Father," said EJ evenly, no flicker of emotion on his face, "You did teach me something…"

Stefano blinked a couple of times, a trail of blood streaking from his mouth now and cutting a jagged red line along one cheek as he lay there on the ground looking up at his son.

"… family _is_ everything," continued on EJ calmly, "_My_ family… my wife, my children… and I will do whatever is necessary to protect them… from anything and anyone… always."

EJ held his father's dying gaze then, watched as the man began to fade right before his eyes. The man that had terrorised so many for so long, at last leaving the world into which he'd only bought horror and destruction. He seemed to be struggling to say something and EJ wondered idly if it would have been more condemnation or to say that he was at last proud of him in a twisted way but it wouldn't have been to ask for forgiveness, EJ knew that for certain.

Stefano drew in a last breath, ragged and uneven before letting it out again, the death rattle in his chest heralding that his end of days was at last here. Stefano stopped struggling and was still, his eyes still open as though he refused to rest even in this bitter end. EJ crouched there for a long minute, looking at the now dead body of his father knowing he should be feeling something but there was nothing. He straightened up slowly and looked around, surprised the guards hadn't heard the noise of the gunshot and come to check on their boss but then Stefano wasn't known for hiring good help.

EJ calmly placed the gun in the back of his waistband of his pants again and turned on his heel, heading out the door. He made his way back the way he came, leaving his father's body to be found by whomever. It was doubtful the hired help would stick around for very long once their pay packet turned up dead and they would no doubt scattered to the winds as soon as they found him. EJ didn't care, he didn't care about anything right then. He'd done what he'd intended to do, stop his father from ever hurting another person ever again and it was enough. EJ thought no further now than being with Samantha again, returning to be by her side. Nothing else mattered now other than that they were together.

It was all that had ever mattered to EJ.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ walked into Sami's hospital bed room, nodding at the police officer Roman had posted on duty at the door. He pulled up a seat beside her bed, a hand unconsciously going to his still aching side, knowing he should probably have his stitches looked at but not really caring. Sami looked so peaceful lying there, pale and heart breakingly beautiful and EJ leant over and pressed the softest of kisses to her lips. She stirred but barely, still sleeping off the effects of the drugs from her surgery. EJ took her hand and wrapped it in his larger ones and pressed it to his chest. With one hand he brushed back a stray lock of almost white blonde hair and tucked it carefully behind her ear.

"Sweet dreams my darling," he whispered to her, raising her hand to his lips and kissing the soft skin of the back of her hand.

EJ settled himself more comfortably beside her then and for the second time in as many days; he slept at his wife's bedside.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ was awoken with the feeling of someone stroking his head and he lifted his head up, blinking blearily to see Sami smiling at him tenderly as she lay there in the bed.

"Hey," he rasped, his voice croaky with sleep.

"Hey," she smiled back, the hand that had been gently stroking his hair moving around so that her fingers trailed over his morning stubble, feeling the roughness under her finger tips.

She traced his jaw line and EJ reached up a hand and capture her wandering fingers, wrapping his long fingers around hers and pressing them to his lips. Sami felt his hot, moist breath against her finger pads and smiled as he kissed each finger in turn. When he was finished he kept them resting against his lips as he spoke.

"How are you feeling sweetheart?" he asked tenderly, his eyes roaming all over her face as he looked for any sign she was in pain.

"I'm alright," she said with a little nod, her head still on her pillow, "And I'm very glad to wake up and find my husband with me. That was a nice surprise."

"Were else would I be?" he asked her with a little smile of his own, "Where else could I be Samantha?"

"With our twins?" she teased him gently.

"Our babies are currently being spoiled rotten with Great Grandma Caroline and I'm imagining tears when I go to collect them," he reassured her with a soft little laugh, "Mum and Dad can't possibly compete with all the fun Grandma Caroline can offer."

"They do love her don't they," said Sami with a pleased sigh, closing her eyes, suddenly feeling tired again.

"Samantha?" he said her name anxiously, seeing her sudden look of exhaustion.

"I'm alright," she said, quickly opening her eyes and giving him her best reassuring smile she had, "I'm just a bit tired. All of this lying in bed and sleeping is making me exhausted."

She gave a quiet little laugh then, inviting him to join in on her amusement but EJ couldn't find the heart to this time.

"You've had a terrible ordeal sweetheart," he fretted over her, "Yesterday… and then the surgery and then…"

"Something happened didn't it?" frowned Sami when he stopped talking and she saw his jaw clench tightly then and a hardness come over his face, vaguely remembering something but not quite sure what it was.

"It doesn't matter now," said EJ simply, giving her a determinedly comforting look, "You're safe now Samantha and nothing and no one is ever going to hurt you again."

Sami's eyes moved from EJ's face to where she could see the uniform police officer standing at her door and gave a little grimace.

"Do you ever think there will come a time when we don't need an armed guard at our hospital doors?" she asked him sadly, feeling a bit despondent all of a sudden.

"I think that you should get some rest and not worry about such things," he told her calmly, "My father has done his worst and we survived it Samantha, together."

"Yes we did," she smiled at him then, stroking his face again, "And you're right EJ… nothing's ever going to separate us again."

EJ caught a movement out of the corner of his eye and turned his head slightly, seeing Roman and Bo Brady striding determinedly down the hall way heading for Sami's room. Their police badges were on full display on their belts so EJ had little doubt that they'd just come from a certain crime scene. They had undoubtedly found Stefano's body by now and as EJ had made no effort to cover his tracks or even dispose of the body and he would be the number one suspect it wasn't difficult to work out what that determined stride was all about. He'd been in a blind rage when he'd headed to find his father and then this icy calm had settled on him and all EJ had been thinking about was protecting Samantha and the rest of his family. Nothing else had mattered as long as the world was rid of the evil called Stefano DiMera and the people he loved were safe.

It was time to for EJ to face the consequences of his actions and EJ only regretted one thing. He looked at Samantha and gave her a small sad smile, trying to imagine what it was going to be like to be separated from her indefinitely, locked in a cell while his children grew up without him and his wife continued to live her life without him by her side. It had been the only way to keep everyone safe from a monster but it was a heavy price to pay but it was a price he'd willing pay again if it mean that Samantha would never again have to fear for her life or the lives of her children or family.

"Samantha," said EJ, leaning forward and gripping her hand tightly, conscious of the fact that Roman and Bo were nearly upon them now and there wasn't much time left, "You have to know that everything I've done since I met you… all of it, the good and the bad is because of how much I love you. Please tell me you'll always remember that… that no matter what I've loved you utterly this whole time."

Sami frowned a little, hearing the sudden urgency in his voice and the way his warm brown eyes were looking at her so fiercely and she nodded. She knew his face so well now, knew every line and curve and she could see the worry in his eyes that he was determinedly trying to keep from her and she felt herself begin to get anxious.

"Of course honey," she told him, a little confused now and stroking his face to reassure him, "And I love you too… I'll always love you EJ – no matter what."

EJ looked down and closed his eyes, taking her words into himself and hanging onto them tightly, knowing he'd need the strength those words gave him to get through this. More than anything he regretted the pain he was about to visit on Samantha but it would only be brief; the freedom from fear he'd bought for her with his actions would be forever. She'd understand why he'd taken it upon himself to do this, she'd understand and forgive him… he was sure of it.

"Dad, Uncle Bo?" he heard her say and he could hear the frown in her voice, "What's wrong? What's happened?"

EJ opened his eyes and looked up at the two men who were standing on the other side of Sami's bed now both with very serious expressions on there faces.

"It's alright honey," Roman reassured her but his face was still very dark as he looked over at EJ, "We just need to speak to EJ."

EJ just returned the two men's gaze steadily and waited for the words that would change his life forever… and he didn't have long to wait.


	40. Chapter 40

**Chapter FORTY**

"Dad," said Sami, her voice beginning to rise a little with her anxiety as she recognised the seriousness in her father's tone, "What is going on? What's happened – are the twins alright?"

"Johnny and Ali are fine Sami," her uncle reassured her quickly, "We just need to have a quick word with Elvis here."

Bo looked over at EJ then.

"We should go outside and talk," he said firmly, "Let my niece get some rest."

"NO!" said Sami sharply, struggling to sit up then, not wanting to be dismissed like a child from this conversation, sensing that something was very wrong, "No! Tell me what's wrong!"

"Shh sweetheart," said EJ anxiously and pressed very gently on her shoulder to get her to lie back down, ever conscious of her heavily bandaged leg, "Settle down, don't upset yourself."

"Then make them tell me what's wrong EJ!" she said heatedly, her head starting to swim for the energy the simple action of sitting up had taken out of her, "Don't leave me, stay!"

"Alright, alright," EJ tried to sooth her, "Calm down darling, I'm not going anywhere. Just lie back down and breathe for me. Can you do that eh darling?"

Sami nodded mutely, her stricken gaze holding his warm tender one as he lovingly stroked her head and helped her to calm back down. Roman watched EJ's devotion to his daughter and found what he had to do next even less palatable because of it. When Sami's breathing was back under control EJ turned to look calmly at Roman and Bo and gave them a little shrug.

"Whatever this is Roman you can tell me here," said EJ and felt Sami's hand tighten around his in gratitude, "Samantha and I don't keep anything from each other."

_Except for one thing of course and what was a little patricide amongst friends anyway?_

"Alright EJ," said Roman and he didn't seem too pleased but he knew his daughter's stubbornness well enough to know that even if they tried to take EJ outside to do this she would drag herself out to them on her hands and knees if she had to.

"We had a call out early this morning," began Bo seriously, "To a crime scene – a murder investigation."

"Who's dead?" asked Sami, her voice full of dread now.

Roman and Bo both looked at EJ then and EJ looked back, giving nothing away.

"Stefano DiMera's," supplied Roman flatly, "You're father's dead EJ."

There was none of the usual platitudes of sorrow that followed a statement like that which didn't seem odd somehow.

"Stefano DiMera's been dead more times than I've had hair cuts," dismissed Sami with a shake of her head, "It's a trick."

"What's a trick?" asked John, strolling into the room, hands shoved into his pockets, "I love tricks."

"It appears Stefano is dead," EJ informed him evenly.

"Hm," mused John, "Now there's a trick I would have liked to have seen."

"It's no trick John," said Roman with a shake of his head, "Stefano is definitely dead."

"You have his body then?" asked EJ, sounding a little detached now, knowing what was coming next.

Roman and Bo exchanged looks then and seemed to be choosing their next words rather carefully.

"Mostly," supplied Bo.

"Mostly?" frowned Sami before EJ could voice his own confusion, "What does that mean Uncle Bo?"

"Before we go any further I need to ask where you were last night EJ," said Roman, looking unblinkingly at the younger man.

"He was here with me Dad," said Sami quickly and EJ felt her grip on his hand tighten, "All night. You can ask any of the nurses – that's right isn't it EJ?"

"That's right," agreed EJ smoothly, still trying to work out what Bo had meant by 'mostly'.

When he'd left his father's body had been laid out on the ground completely intact except for the bullet wound to his chest. EJ kept his face determinedly blank though, not letting on to anyone his inner turmoil.

"From what time was that?" asked Bo, taking out his notepad and jotting down some notes.

"I think it was about 8, 8:15 when I arrived at the hospital," EJ informed them.

"And what about before that?" pushed Roman, "Our lab guys are putting this happening at around 6-7:30pm last night. Can you account for your whereabouts then EJ?"

"What is this?" asked Sami, suddenly angry, "Why are you asking EJ these questions Dad?"

"Because he's a person of interest honey," said Roman calmly, "Now please, let your uncle and I do our jobs so we can get this over and done with."

Roman looked at EJ then and arched an eyebrow.

"So?" prompted Roman, "Where were you EJ?"

EJ didn't immediately answer and then gave them a rueful look.

"You see Roman," said EJ, "I'd rather not say at this time."

"EJ!" said Sami, suddenly worried now, "What are you doing? Tell my Dad you didn't do this already!"

"Samantha…" began EJ with a sad sigh, not wanting to do this but knowing it had to be done.

"You'd better tell them nephew," said John very seriously, "The waltz is up."

"Jig," EJ corrected him without thinking and then gave his uncle an uncertain look, "Uncle John… what are you doing?"

"It's alright Elvis," said John with a little shrug, "They're going to find out anyway so you might as well tell them."

EJ looked at his uncle, trying to get a bead on where he was going with this. Did he know what EJ had done and was urging him to come clean to Roman and Bo and if so… how was that even possible?

"EJ?" encouraged Roman, looking expectantly at him, "Is there something you want to tell us?"

"Ah…" stalled EJ, unsure what to say next, "Um… Roman… I…"

"We went to Hooters," said John blithely.

Everyone turned to look at John in varying degrees of shocked surprise and EJ quickly tried to mask his.

"What?" asked Sami flatly and frowned at her husband, "You went to Hooters while I was lying unconscious in a hospital bed EJ?"

"It seemed as good a time as any," said John easily.

"Why would you do that?" scowled Sami, still looking at EJ.

"I made him," John informed them all; "I wanted to try their deep fried onion flowers."

"At Hooters," repeated Bo flatly, looking at John in disbelief, "You two went to Hooters? Is that what you're telling us John…? EJ?"

"Ah yes," said EJ, quickly falling in with John's story, "As my uncle just said he had a hankering for some deep fried onions and I didn't think it was a particularly good idea that he go to that kind of place alone… you know… considering."

"So you thought it would be fine if you went?" said Sami sounding decidedly unimpressed at him now.

"Sweetheart Hooters is a perfectly respectable restaurant chain," argued EJ, "They have chains all over America you know."

"It's a restaurant where all the waitresses have big boobs!" said Sami, suddenly finding the strength to be annoyed with him now.

"Oh," said John in surprise, "Is _that_ why it's called that?"

"What did you think John?" asked Sami in exasperation.

"Owls," said John in all seriousness, "But now that I think about it I didn't see that many owls."

"What is it with you and birds John?" asked Bo with a shake of his head.

"And I suppose you can prove this John?" said Roman, not sounding overly convinced, "That you were both there."

"I've got the take out bag in my car," volunteered John happily.

"Well that's great John but you could have gotten that any time," said Bo with an arched eyebrow, "Can anyone vouch that you were there."

"It was Friday night," said EJ calmly, "It was extremely busy, I'm not sure that we will be remembered Bo."

"You can check with our waitress," offered John helpfully, "I don't remember her name but she was a woman…"

"I bet!" said Sami darkly, pulling her hand away from EJ's now and glaring at him which despite everything EJ found unbearably cute.

"So basically we just have to look at for a female waitress at Hooters," said Roman flatly, "Is that it?"

"She was a brunette I think," said EJ looking at John, "Isn't that right Uncle John?"

"Well she definitely had hair," nodded John thoughtfully, "I remember that for sure."

"Oh great," said Bo sarcastically, "A busy restaurant that would see hundreds of customers come through in one night and we're looking for a female waitress who _definitely_ has hair and is _possibly_ a brunette. Well I'll get straight on that shall I?"

"Well I don't want to tell you your job Bo," said John stoically, "But I hope you lose that attitude when you interview people – it's kind of alienating."

EJ had to bite the inside of his lip to stop himself from laughing out loud. He was slowly starting to let himself believe that everything might actually be alright and unbelievably he might well have John to thank for this little twist of fate.

"Well I hope you enjoyed yourselves," huffed Sami, sounding like she hoped anything but, "I'd hate to think you're both going to get high cholesterol or anything from all that deep fried stuff!"

"I didn't eat anything," said EJ truthfully – he didn't eat anything at Hooters, "I was too worried about my wife and wanting to get back to her as soon as I could."

"Lame," she said but looked up at him, willing to be convinced and he smiled at her affectionately.

EJ gave a little frown then and looked at Roman and Bo.

"So exactly what did happen with my father?" asked EJ and the question wasn't just for show because obviously there was more to the story than what he knew and he was pretty sure he had the man standing at the foot of Sami's bed currently scratching his chin for that.

Somehow John must have followed him, seen what he'd done or at the very least come across the evidence he'd left behind and must have taken it upon himself to clean up after his nephew. The great irony being of course that Stefano had taken him, erased all his memories to make him into this perfect killing machine only to end up on the receiving end of John's new found talents. John may not have done the actual killing but it was beginning to sound that the remains of Stefano had been dealt with in a particularly colourful fashion.

"We found Stefano's remains down in a warehouse on the south side," said Bo and then exchanged looks with Roman again.

"How did he die?" asked Sami curious despite herself.

"Ah, we're not exactly sure," said Bo looking a little uncomfortable, "The body was pretty badly… umm…"

"What?" asked EJ, looking between Roman and Bo as he hesitated to go on, "What happened to my father's body?"

"Well there was this industrial size mulcher on site…" began Bo reluctantly, "And we found his body in that."

"So he was cut into pieces?" asked Sami in horror, looking over at EJ to see how he was taking this.

"Actually it was a bit more of a…" Bo tried to find the right words then, "... ahh, let's just say the CSU guys had to not so much pick him out as scrape him out."

"Oh my god!" said Sami, her hands going to her mouth as she looked at her husband, "EJ!"

"So how can you be sure that it was my father?" asked EJ, maintaining his composure but just, "I mean the… remains that you found sound barely recognisable as human let alone you being able to identify them as my father."

"I'm sorry EJ," said Roman flatly, "But it was definitely Stefano's body. There was a hand that was left intact and we finger printed it – it was Stefano's."

"Oh god," said Sami again, just when she thought it couldn't get more gruesome but worse was yet to come.

"I'm sorry," said EJ grimly, needing to make sure, "But a person can live without a hand – how do you know that my father didn't just have his hand removed and feed someone else's body into the mulcher?"

"EJ!" gasped Sami shakily.

"I'm sorry sweetheart but we both know that Stefano DiMera is capable of some truly horrendous things," said EJ, "I have to know for sure that my father is really dead."

It was true. Even as he'd stood over him and watched him take his last breath there was some part of EJ that worried that it hadn't been as it seemed. His father had risen from the dead so many times that it wasn't enough to believe the evidence of his own eyes anymore. It was almost unnatural the many ways Stefano had cheated death in the past and even though EJ had been sure that his father had been dead when he left he needed to just hear someone else tell him.

"Ah… the hand was kind of still attached by some tendons and things to the umm…" Bo struggled to make his explanation not as graphic as it really was.

"Paste?" volunteered John happily which made Sami groan, feeling a bit sick now.

"Uncle John!" said EJ, giving him an unhappy look for upsetting Sami, "It's alright darling."

EJ put a comforting hand on her shoulder, trying to come to terms with the shock just as much as she was.

"So he's really dead then," said EJ quietly, almost to himself, trying to take it on board now.

It hadn't seemed completely real before but now it was finally hitting him.

"Oh yeah," nodded John stoically in his typically blunt fashion, "_Really_ dead. I don't think you can get much deader than being pureed…"

"John!" said Roman sharply, looking over at Sami who had gone decidedly pale now, "That's enough."

"EJ?" said Sami anxiously, looking up at him as he stared ahead a little blankly, "Are you alright honey? I know this is Stefano we're talking about but he is… was your father. You must feel terrible."

"It's… it's just a little overwhelming actually," said EJ and it wasn't a lie, "But I'll be fine, don't worry about me. The important thing is that you never have to worry about Stefano DiMera hurting you or anyone in your family ever again."

"I'm fine too if anyone's interested," piped up John and they all looked at him and he shrugged, "He was my half brother you know."

"Uncle John _you_ barely know that," said EJ in exasperation.

"So what my grief doesn't count?" asked John in indignation.

"You're not grieving," said EJ flatly, wondering why he was pushing the matter in the circumstances but he couldn't seem to help himself with John.

"I might be," said John, "You don't know – still waters run steep."

"Would anyone like to take that one," said EJ faintly, "I simply don't have the strength anymore."

Marlena walked in then and John brightened at seeing her.

"Hey Blondie," he said, eager to share the news, "Guess who got pulped today?"

"Okay," said Bo quickly, "I think Roman and I should be in charge of informing people from now on John."

Marlena looked at them all and frowned – what had she missed out on exactly?

**oooOOOOooo**

John walked into the chapel at Salem University Hospital and looked around himself with interest. This was the first time he'd ever been in here… although it probably wasn't but he didn't remember the other times so they didn't count really. In the front row of the pews sat his nephew, looking fixedly up at the cross that was on the table in the centre but John had a feeling he wasn't really seeing it. The candles that were lit on the table, they flickered a little as John walked down the aisle, alerting EJ to his uncle's presence but he didn't turn round. John took a seat beside him on the pew and joined him in his silent reverie, looking up at the cross as well.

The two men didn't speak for a long time, EJ lost in his dark thoughts and John wondering if there really was more than one way to skin a cat. It didn't seem likely really… and exactly why you'd want to be skinning cats in the first place escaped him somewhat and made a mental note to ask his nephew about that. Now, however, didn't seem to be the right time and for once, John actually didn't speak his mind, letting EJ be for the time being. EJ eventually pulled himself from his thoughts and moved his head ever so slightly so he could see John out of the corner of his eyes. EJ wondered idly what he was thinking and would bet penny's to pounds it probably wasn't what you would be expecting under the circumstances.

The enormity of what had happened in the last 24 hours pressed in on EJ. Samantha had nearly died not once but twice in that time and his father's reign of terror was at last over and it was by EJ's own hand that it had come about. Stefano DiMera was dead and there would be no resurrecting of the Phoenix this time, the man beside him had made very certain of that… along with the fact that EJ still had his freedom. His life with Samantha and the twins stretched out before him now, no shadowy spectres to haunt them or their children any longer.

It was something EJ had a huge amount of ambivalence about. On one hand the world was free of a monster but on the other hand he'd lost his father today. But then, the father he'd always imagined Stefano to be had never really existed. It had all been smoke and mirrors, much like the man himself so EJ didn't know if it was the death of that dream he grieved more than the actual death of the man who had perpetrated such a brutal reign of terror over so many for so long. Ultimately EJ knew he'd done the right thing. Something spewing that much hatred and evil could not be allowed to continue in this world. It was enough and EJ had made sure of that when he pulled the trigger today. He had sat here and made his peace with that and knew come what may he'd done the right thing.

EJ looked at his uncle's profile, typically expressionless and felt a great kinship with the man. So much had happened between them over these last months that had changed how EJ saw the whole world and in an odd, almost fitting way the extremely strange man sitting next to him had become an important part of that new world. John too had awoken to find himself in a new world that he knew nothing about and was making his way through it the best way he knew how. As much as EJ sometimes he felt like he was the parent to John's childlike exploration of this new world there were also times that John felt like a parent to him. EJ felt like John always had his back and although it was rarely in a way that EJ expected… in fact it was never in a way EJ expected but for all that he knew that John was on his side and would be looking out for him when it really mattered. In some ways he'd lost a father that had never really existed except in his own mind and gained a father that was out of his but was very real.

"John," said EJ seriously, his voice low as he worked out the words to say for what John had risked for him today, "I… I just wanted to say…"

John held up a hand then to stop him and finally turned his eyes from the cross and looked at EJ.

"Nephew," he said stoically, "I'm going to tell you what Blondie told me when she came into her bedroom the other day and found that I'd eaten an entire tube of her favourite lipstick…"

EJ arched an eyebrow, knowing he shouldn't be surprised by this new piece of information but he was anyways and waited for John to finish talking.

"… this… never… happened," said John flatly and gave him a pointed look, turning and settling back against the pew and returning to his silent scrutiny of the cross.

EJ just sat there, taking in that story and what it meant and gave a little shake of his head. He felt like he needed to say so much to John about what had happened but maybe John was right… what else was there to say? EJ turned back in his seat and joined John in looking at the cross and neither man spoke for a long time after that again.

"So seriously Uncle," said EJ, at last breaking the silence and looking at John in bewilderment, "An _entire_ tube of lipstick?!"

"I developed the taste for it," shrugged John unapologetically, "I can see why women wear it."

"I don't think that is why they wear it," said EJ with a little roll of his eyes, "It's not typical for people to eat lipstick Uncle John."

"Yeah well I think people would be a whole lot happier if they tried to put more things in their mouths then they do," stated John emphatically, "People are missing out if you ask me."

"I don't think people taking up eating lipstick and candles is going to solve the woes of the world Uncle," said EJ with a little quirk of his lips, marvelling at John's thought processes yet again.

"I'm just saying if people were a little less judgemental and regimented in how they view things then maybe they wouldn't be so uptight," reasoned John, "You can do this… but not that… and this is okay as long as you do it this way but not that way. It all seems to me that people just make a rod for their own backs."

"So you're subscribing to the 'If it feels good, do it' philosophy of life is that is Uncle?" smiled EJ, amused by his reasoning.

"If it doesn't hurt anyone else I don't see the problem," argued John.

"Ah but there's the rub Uncle," said EJ with a little sigh, "We don't always know how our actions will affect others. We live in a society Uncle John and none of us have the autonomy to do as we please if we want to maintain that society."

"You make a salient point nephew," nodded John, "But surely in any society there is room for a little leeway – that's all I'm saying."

"Well you've certainly got the whole 'leeway' angled covered Uncle," said EJ and he actually gave a bit of a laugh then, "For all of us in fact. And can I just ask how you remember the word 'salient' and just used it appropriately then in a sentence and yet I had to stop you from telling every one that Joseph went down on me at the little twin's party?!"

"Dunno," shrugged John blankly and blinked, "Just lucky I guess… and he did go down on you Elvis – I don't know what the big deal is… we all saw it."

"Mm," mused EJ with a self depreciating laugh, not willing to get into that argument again especially considering where they were, "I don't know if _lucky_ was the adjective I would have chosen."

The two men sat quietly again for another long moment until it was John this time that broke the silence.

"So nephew remind me…" he frowned and EJ tensed, knowing sentences started by John with 'remind me' rarely ended well, "What's the deal with the giant 't' up there?"

EJ gave a little laugh then and shook his head at the question – could have been worse he supposed.

"It's not a 't' it's a cross Uncle John," he smiled.

"I thought a cross was like an X?" asked John, a bit confused now.

"Right," sighed EJ, "Where to begin with this one… let me see…"

So John sat there and patiently listened as EJ gave him a rundown on the last two thousand years of modern Christianity and to EJ's great surprise only about half of John's questions were wildly inappropriate so all in all it definitely could have been a lot worse all things considered.


	41. Chapter 41

**Chapter FORTY ONE**

EJ walked into Sami's hospital room later that night. He'd been home, checked on the twins, organised a few things at work and then had returned, intending to stay the night with Sami. Marlena was looking after the twins so he was free to spend the night here. He hated sleeping in their bed without her and knew he wouldn't be able to sleep properly anyways so he may as well be here with Sami. Sami turned her head towards the door when he walked in her face lighting up.

"EJ!" she exclaimed loudly, holding her arms out to him as though she hadn't seen him in years rather than a couple of hours ago.

"Hello darling," he smiled, dropping his overnight bag beside her bed and leaning down to kiss her hello but Sami had other ideas wrapping her arms tightly around his neck so that he almost unbalanced and fell on her.

"Whoa!" he said at her enthusiasm, catching himself with an arm either side of her.

"I missed you!" she declared, hugging him tightly, a big grin all over her face.

"I missed you too sweetheart," he said with a little laugh, finally managing to get her to loosen her grip on him a little and pull back so he could look at her, "How are you feeling?"

"Fantastic!" said Sami, flopping back on her pillow and grinning up at him like a loon.

"So I see," he said with some amusement, "I'm going to guess that you've been given some painkillers recently."

"Oh yes," she sighed happily up at him and then threw her arms out in an expansive gesture, "And they rock!"

Her hand connected with a vase of flowers on the night stand beside her and would have fallen if EJ's reflexes hadn't been quicker.

"Oh," frowned Sami a little dazedly, "Whoops."

"Well I'm glad you're not in any pain honey," he said with a smile, putting the vase back on the night stand but further away from her and her flailing hand gestures to avoid a repeat performance.

"Oh I am sooo not," nodded Sami seriously, her eyes wide, "Painkillers rock!"

"You mentioned," said EJ drying, flicking his hand to get the water from the almost spilled vase of it.

"Did I?" she asked in wonder, "Are you sure?"

"Almost positively," said EJ with a little laugh, coming to sit on her bed, making sure he was on the opposite side to her bandaged leg.

"You haven't kissed me!" she suddenly announced and pouted, unhappy at the thought.

"Well let me remedy that right now then Mrs DiMera," said EJ affectionately and leant down over her to kiss her.

The kiss was soft and tender, a reconnection after all the events of the last two days. EJ closed his eyes and breathed her in… it was like coming home to him. He broke the kiss and went to straighten up she cupped his face with her hands and looked up at him adoringly.

"You're so pretty," she sighed up at him.

"We manly types prefer handsome darling," he laughed at her woozy observation.

"Nope," she said with a firm shake of her head, "You're pretty!"

"Well I guess I can live with that," he smiled down at her.

"I worry sometimes that you're prettier than me," she told him earnestly, the words tumbling out of her mouth in her drugged state.

"Oh Samantha!" he really did laugh then, "You're gorgeous! I don't think you have anything to worry about there sweetheart?"

"Really?" she quizzed him almost hopefully, "Even in this hospital gown?"

"Even in a hospital gown you are breath taking Samantha," he reassured her with a quirk of his lips.

"Do you want to snuggle?" she asked him hopefully.

"Ah Samantha," he frowned, looking at the narrow bed and more especially her damaged leg, "I don't think that's a good idea. There isn't much room and I might bump your leg."

"I think my leg could fall off and I wouldn't notice," she mused truthfully and then pouted up at him and gave him her best pleading look, "Plleeaase EJ."

"Alright," he relented, finding her hard to say no to at the best of times.

"Yay!" she said and clapped her hands together excitedly and grinned up at him, "I have you sooo whipped!"

"You have me no such thing," said EJ, pretending affront.

EJ carefully lay down on the bed beside her and Sami snuggled against him more fully, putting her head on his chest as he put an arm around her shoulders.

"This is so nice," she sighed happily.

"Yes it is," he agreed softly, resting his cheek against the top of her head, "Heavenly in fact."

"I can't wait until our wedding day," she said contentedly, "It's going to be so great."

Sami frowned then as she felt EJ suddenly tense a little and lifted her head to scowl up at him.

"What's wrong EJ?" she pouted at him, "Aren't you looking forward to it too?"

"Of course I am sweetheart," he said quickly, "But today's the 1st of November…"

"Yes," she grinned, "Only eight more days to go… I can't wait."

"Samantha," said EJ, choosing his next words carefully, "Sweetheart, I've talked to the doctors and they aren't even going to think about letting you out of the hospital for at least another three days."

Sami blinked, slowly processing this new information.

"But I have a final dress fitting in two days," she pointed out.

"I don't think you'll be making it," said EJ ruefully.

"But my dress…" she trailed off unhappily, her head wobbling a little as the drugs took better hold of her.

EJ looked down at her and saw that she hadn't quite put it all together yet in her currently drug hazy state so he tried to gently let her down.

"Sweetheart," he said tenderly, "Your leg… it's going to be a good few weeks before it's back to what it was before the surgery. You're not going to be walking for a little while and you certainly won't be back on your feet in eight days."

"But I have to be EJ!" she said, her voice starting to rise as it began to slowly click, "I have to walk down the aisle. There's only two things you need for that… an aisle and to be able to walk!"

"Of course you don't need to be able to walk to come down the aisle," said EJ with a shake of his head, "You could use a wheelchair, that isn't the problem."

"My train would get caught in it," said Sami faintly, obviously envisioning it and not liking what she saw, "And there's enough height difference between us already… I don't want to be giving my vows to your crotch!"

EJ tried his hardest not to smile at that because he could see she was getting a little teary eyed and emotional now as she began to realise that the wedding wasn't going to be quite as she imagined.

"I'd imagine I'd sit down as well," he said, as seriously as he could, "Not that my crotch doesn't enjoy any attention it can get from you of course."

Sami didn't seem to get that last teasing reference though as she was still trying to work through the change of plans with the wedding.

"I suppose you could sit in a chair," she nodded slowly, "And everyone else is already sitting so…"

"Samantha," he interrupted her, put a finger under her chin to lift her face to look at him, "Honey, we can't get married on the ninth. You're simply not going to be strong enough. You would have been barely out of hospital and it's going to be way too much for you to be able to handle. I'm sorry sweetheart but we're going to have to postpone the wedding… again."

Sami looked up at him and her blue eyes began to glisten with unshed tears as she realised he was right.

"We are never going to get married!" she wailed unhappily, her bottom lip quivering adorably.

"Sweetheart," said EJ with a great affection, "We are already married… remember?"

"But I want a wedding where you don't get shot," she sniffed.

"Well yes," admitted EJ ruefully, "That would be nice."

"It's a sign!" she choked out emotionally, "We're never meant to be married EJ!"

"Stuff and nonsense Samantha," he said with great assurance, "If any two people in this world were meant to be married it is you and I. And again… we are actually married remember sweetheart."

"Then why can't we make this wedding happen?" she said and sniffled again, "It's like I'm doomed never to be allowed a normal wedding! What did I ever do to deserve this?"

Sami frowned and then dropped her head back tiredly on EJ's chest.

"On second thoughts don't answer that," she said sulkily.

"I've been thinking about this," said EJ, rubbing her arm comfortingly, "Why don't we just pick another date… I was thinking December 24th - Christmas Eve. We could have an evening wedding and then the next day all the family would be together for Christmas. How does that sound eh?"

Sami lifted her head, her eyes wide now with yet more tears.

"Oh EJ," she sighed happily, "That sounds perfect!"

"Good," he smiled, glad his suggestion pleased her and made her smile again, "That's settled then, Christmas Eve it is. Trust me Samantha, nothing is going to stop us this time."

Sami's smile lit up her entire face and EJ suddenly felt like he was standing in the sun when she looked at him like that. He pressed a kiss to her forehead and Sami put her head back on his chest again and neither spoke for a little while, just enjoying being together now.

"EJ…" said Sami hesitantly, something on her mind now.

"No you don't get anniversary gifts for the called off wedding dates as well," he pre-empted her question, just knowing that was what she was going to ask, "I have to draw the line somewhere and I'm drawing it at weddings that never actually happened."

He tried to give her a censuring look then but the fact that the corners of his mouth were turning up at the edges completely ruined it.

"That's fair I suppose," she sighed, trying not to sound disappointed.

Sami listened to the steady beating of his heart against her cheek and felt the strength of the man that was her husband despite him being relaxed now. It had been such a long road to get here and despite the occasional cancelled wedding and a few trips to the hospital she didn't regret a thing… well maybe the hotel thing… and the brawl thing… but basically Sami had never been happier and it wasn't just the morphine talking either. EJ had given her everything she'd ever longed for in her life - unconditional love, acceptance and a family. She loved him so much and now with the spectre of Stefano finally gone from their lives she felt a new lightness and freedom wash over her and she wanted to celebrate that fact.

"Hey EJ?" she murmured to him, her hand that was on his chest started to drift lower, down over his flat stomach, "Want to join the mile high club?"

"Samantha!" exclaimed EJ and quickly put his hand out to stop any more downward motion of her hand, "I don't think so sweetheart."

"Why not," she pouted unhappy at being denied.

"Well for a start only one of us is high," he said in amusement, "And the other thing is that we're not actually in a plane at the moment."

"Oh," frowned Sami a little groggily, "I thought mile high club just meant doing it in a public place… I didn't know you had to be in a plane."

"That's were the mile high part comes in," he explained indulgently, "You're a mile off the ground."

"Oh well," she sighed and then looked up at him happily, "Let's join the two foot high club then instead."

Sami's hand wiggled out from underneath his and tried again to head south but he determinedly clamped his hand over hers and shook his head at her.

"Samantha behave yourself," he said firmly, "You're in no condition for anything like that even if you weren't stoned out of your mind so just lie there quietly like a good girl for me eh?"

"But you like the bad girl in me," she purred up at him, trying to flutter her eye lashes up at him but her quickly flagging motor skills made it look more like she'd just gotten sand in her eyes.

"I adore the bad girl in you," he corrected her, "But… and I didn't think I'd ever say these words… but I'm not going to make love to you tonight Samantha, even if you beg me to."

"Spoil sport," she huffed, putting her head back down on his chest and listened to the now slightly uneven beating of his heart, finding it so comforting and reassuring.

"Quite possibly," agreed EJ reasonably, feeling her snuggle a little more against him despite having to remain on her back because of her leg.

"You smell like the twins," she told him happily, breathing in the scent of him and changing subject suddenly.

"I gave them a bath before I came here," he told her.

"Mm," she nodded against his chest, "Baby powder."

Neither of them spoke for a few minutes then and EJ thought Sami might have fallen asleep.

"I'm so glad you're here," she sighed suddenly, telling him she wasn't asleep yet.

"So am I Samantha," he nodded although she couldn't see it.

EJ could hear the noises of the hospital outside, low voices and trolleys being wheeled around and the occasional clatter of something being moved or dropped. But it felt to him as though he and Samantha were in a little cocoon of their own making, wrapped in each other's arms and no harm could possibly befall them ever again. After all the angst and horror of the last two days it was as if something had come full circle and now everything in their lives were finally in order… as it was meant to be. EJ gave a little smile at his sentimental thoughts and closed his eyes, just enjoying the feeling of having nothing to worry about in the world.

"Samantha… hands!"


	42. Chapter 42

**Chapter FORTY TWO**

"So which one is she again?" asked Sami, frowning in concentration to keep up with all the different faces.

It was a couple of days after her surgery and rather frustratingly for Sami she was still in hospital. She wanted to go home and be with her babies but the doctors were insisting they keep her in for at least another day. If it hadn't been for Joseph distractions she would have already pushed the first granny she saw out of her wheelchair and be making her own way home by now! Joseph's visits, apart from EJ's of course, had become the highlight of her day - he was just so much fun and it almost made being stuck in bed fun… almost. Currently Joseph was educating her to the delights of daytime TV and more specifically, daytime soaps. Today was her first foray into this strange new world for Sami and it was with Joseph's favourite soap - 'Days of Our Loves.'

"Oh that's Cami, short for Camilla," Joseph informed her excitedly, "She's the misunderstood bad girl of the show with a heart of gold underneath."

"She seems like a bit of a bitch to me," commented Sami, wrinkling her nose.

"Oh she is!" exclaimed Joseph excitedly, "I love her _so_ much!"

"And who is she with?" asked Sami, forehead wrinkling as different actors moved across the screen.

"Well she's with this little troll Marcus but who she really loves if JT," said Joseph, "But she just won't admit it to herself."

"And which one is JT?" asked Sami, still confused.

"That really tall, gorgeous guy over to the left staring at her like she's his last drink of water while he's dying in the desert!" gushed Joseph, "I love the looks JT gives Cami! Talk about panty melting!"

Sami giggled at Joseph's rather graphic description.

"So what, she is sticking with that guy Marcus - the one who shouts at her all the time rather than the gorgeous guy who tells her he loves her and will do anything for her?" asked Sami slowly putting it all together and then gave a disbelieving snort, "That's so unrealistic! As if that would ever happen! Any woman in her right mind would be jumping onto JT and kicking that other twerp to the curb by now! I mean look at that skinny rake circling around JT - what was her name again?"

"Ariole," supplied Joseph readily.

"Yeah her," said Sami with disgust, "That scrawny tramp is obviously after JT so that Cami better get her act together and quick smart!"

"Oh honey," sighed Joseph, "We _all_ can only hope and pray for that."

"What are you hoping and praying for?" asked EJ as he walked into the hospital room to find Joseph propped up next to Sami on her bed as they watched the TV together.

"Joseph is introducing me to the world of soaps," smiled Sami up at him as he leant down and kissed her cheek hello.

"Hello my darling girl," he smiled warmly down at her as he straightened up.

"Ah ah," protested Joseph when EJ went to just take a seat beside Sami then and tapped his cheek, "What about a hello for your other darling girl?!"

EJ gave a little laugh and shook his head, obligingly leaning over Sami and kissing Joseph's offered cheek. He'd lived a fair portion of his life in Europe and kissing other men in greeting was not a foreign experience for EJ and was unfazed by the request.

"Hello Joseph," he said in amusement.

"Much better," simpered Joseph.

"So which soap is this that you're educating my wife to?" asked EJ, looking up at the television screen above her bed.

"Days of Our Loves," sighed Joseph happily, "My favourite."

"Cheesy title," commented EJ teasingly with a quick wink at Sami.

"There is no mocking of the soaps by outsiders or you will be asked to leave!" said Joseph waving an imperious finger at EJ.

"So sorry Joseph," grinned EJ, "Didn't mean to offend."

"But I don't understand," said Sami with a confused shake of her head, "You've just spent the last half hour completely trashing people's clothes, acting and even their hair styles on the show. Where does that fit into the 'no mocking of the soaps' rule?"

"By outsiders honey," said Joseph sagely, as though he was imparting the secrets of the universe to Sami, "The inner sanctum have _earned_ the right to lampoon, poke fun and just generally bitch about the show. It's our divine right for having to sit through years of crappy dialogue, confusing nonsensical story lines and sometimes some very bad over acting."

"So why do you watch them if they are that bad?" asked EJ, confused himself now.

"Because every now and then you get some magic up in that little old box that makes all the other crapola worthwhile," gushed Joseph, "Like JT and Cami."

"Who?" asked EJ with a little quirk of his lips, amused by Joseph's passionate love of a medium he'd never really experienced.

"It's those two on the screen right now," Sami informed him knowingly.

"Which one's which?" asked EJ, looking up at the screen.

"Cami's the blonde woman and JT is the tall, yummy one," Joseph clarified for him, "I tell you, when that man takes off his shirt there isn't a dry seat in the house."

"I think you mean a dry eye in the house," said EJ in amusement.

"Oh honey," said Joseph with a roll of his eyes and a knowing look, vaguely lecherous, "I know _exactly_ what I mean!"

"Joseph!" exclaimed Sami, trying to be outraged but her grin betrayed her.

"What's with the accent?" asked EJ quizzically, tilting his head to one side.

"He's Scottish," supplied Joseph.

"Hm," said EJ, listening to the man talk, "Sounds put on to me."

"Oh no," said Joseph quickly, "He is actually from Scotland but I think he plays the accent down a bit so we Americans can understand him."

"Makes sense I suppose," shrugged EJ.

"Isn't he lovely," sighed Joseph dreamily.

"He is very handsome," agreed Sami with a nod, finding herself a little mesmerised by the couple on her screen despite herself.

"I don't know," said EJ with another little shrug, scrutinising the man on the screen in front of them all critically, "He's is just a little _too_ good looking if you ask me. It's not natural."

Joseph turned to look at EJ then, pursing his lips together and looking the other man up and down before speaking.

"Okay honey, I'm going to go right ahead and assume that you have mirrors in your house because I've seen them…" said Joseph flatly, pointing a finger up and down EJ's tall, perfectly proportioned length and impossibly handsome face, "… but you just don't know how to use them!"

Sami giggled at that, knowing exactly what Joseph was talking about but EJ just looked vaguely perplexed. John strolled in then and Joseph greeted him excitedly.

"Jo Jo!" he exclaimed.

John looked over his shoulder then for this 'Jo Jo' character and then turned back to look at Joseph with a bemused look on his face.

"You're Jo Jo," explained EJ, the amusement in his voice evident - this should be good.

"No I'm not," said John expressionlessly.

"Yes you are honey," said Joseph with an emphatic nod of his head, "It's my pet name for you."

"No," said John flatly.

"Oh," pouted Joseph, "How about John John then?"

"No," said John again.

"Jo-tastic?" suggested Joseph, not to be put off.

"No."

"Johnilicious?"

"No."

"Blackie?"

"No."

"Big Black Bear?"

"No."

"Ju Ju?"

"No… wait…," said John suddenly, "What was that last one?"

"Ju Ju?" repeated Joseph hopefully.

"Not that one, the one before that," said John with a shake of his head.

"Big Black Bear?" said Joseph.

John pursed his lips at that.

"I'll think about it," he said straight faced and continued to walk into the room and pull up a chair while Joseph clapped his hands excitedly.

Sami reached out and laid her hand on EJ's arm, looking a little stunned.

"EJ?" she said as he looked down at her with a matching expression of disbelief, "I'm still on a lot of drugs here but did John just agree to thinking about Joe calling him… _Big Black Bear_?"

"Sweetheart," said EJ earnestly, "I so wish I could tell you that it was the drugs but no… that actually just happened."

"Oh hey," said John, sounding almost happy and completely oblivious to the distressed he'd just caused Sami and EJ, "Days Of Our Loves - is Ron in today's show - I love Ron."

"_You_ watch the soaps?!" asked Sami incredulously - this topped the whole Big Black Bear thing… almost.

"Just this one and 'The Juvenile And The Uneasy'," said John calmly.

Sami and EJ exchanged looks again at this latest revelation and shook their heads at each other in bemusement.

"No Ron isn't on today honey," said Joseph with his own shake of his head.

"What's Ron story?" asked Sami - hell, if you can't beat 'em… join 'em!

"He's an assassin who was sent into town to do the biding of the baddie - Ernesto," supplied John readily, "But he was in a car accident and lost his memory and everyone thought he was this other guy Lohman who was married to this woman who's a professor of literature and he calls her Prof. I like Ron - he's way better for Prof than that Lohman guy despite being a trained killer. And who knows, now that he's been unfrozen from the cryogenic chamber Ernesto had him stored away in they might have a chance at making a go of it? I like my soaps to have the ring of truth to them… don't like them to be too far fetched."

"And of course that is in no way far fetched," said EJ ironically.

"Correct," said John very seriously.

"Lunch time Mrs DiMera."

The announcement was made by a fresh faced young man standing at the doorway with a tray of food in hand. Joseph immediately perked up at seeing the good looking man and quickly sucked in his stomach.

"Thanks," smiled Sami as EJ moved the arm of the table that sat over her bed into position and the young man set her tray down on it.

"And what's on the menu today?" asked Joseph with a bright smile and a little flutter of his eyelashes, "Nothing as delicious as you I'm sure?"

"Joe!" Sami chastised him with a roll of her eyes, "Leave him alone."

"What?" asked Joseph, opening his eyes wide looking ever so innocent, "We're just chatting aren't we…"

"Jonas," the man supplied with a little smile.

"Well with a name like that I'm going to go right ahead and assume you like seafood," said Joseph with a little flutter of his hand.

"I do actually," said Jonas with a laugh, amused by Joseph.

"Well in that case," said Joseph, getting up and walking around to where Jonas was and walking with him as the younger man started to leave the room, "I know this fabulous little seafood restaurant that is to die for…"

Joseph headed out the room following Jonas without so much as a backward glance at the rest of them, intent on hooking himself a live one and Jonas certainly didn't seem to be minding the attention it had to be said.

"I can't believe Joseph is on the pull again," sighed EJ with a shake of his head.

"What does _that_ mean?" asked Sami with a frown of confusion as she picked up her glass of milk.

"Sorry darling," laughed EJ as he absently scratched his head, seeing her face, "It's an English expression… it means he's trying to pick up."

"Then why not say pick up?" asked Sami with a roll of her eyes as she took a mouthful of milk, "Pull makes no sense."

"Yeah," agreed John with a nod, "Seems to me that would be what you would be doing if you _don't_ pick up myself."

Sami was so shocked by his words that she spat out the mouthful of milk she'd just taken… all over EJ's shirt because he'd been standing directly in front of her. He looked down at the milky mess soaking into his freshly pressed very pale blue dress shirt and then back at Sami who had her hand over her mouth and was looking at him in horror.

"Oh sweetheart!" she exclaimed, mortified, "I'm _so_ sorry."

"Well I see where Boy Baby and Girl Baby get it from," noted John calmly.

EJ and Sami both gave him simultaneous unimpressed looks.

"What?" he shrugged, "What did I say?"

"Uncle John…" began EJ determinedly as he grabbed out his handkerchief and began to wipe at his milk soaked shirt.

"I know," John interrupted him with a sigh, "This is another thing to go on The List."

_These kids of his were just so delicate sometimes!_


	43. Chapter 43

**Chapter FORTY THREE**

"Wait!" said Sami suddenly and EJ immediately froze.

"Are you alright Samantha?" he asked her anxiously, "Did I hurt you, are you in pain?"

Sami smiled at her husband's fretting and shook her head at him.

"I just want to enjoy this," she smiled at him.

She looked around herself and even though if someone had told her this a even six months ago she wouldn't have believed it but she felt this surge of happiness that not only was she out of the hospital at last but that she was home. In the DiMera mansion no less… she was home. EJ smiled to see the happy expression on her face as he stood with her in his arms in the middle of the foyer of the mansion having just picked her up from the hospital.

"I'm home," she sighed, closing her eyes and then opening them again to beam up at EJ as he continued to hold her in his arms, "I'm home."

"Yes you are Mrs DiMera," he smiled at her and bent his head to kiss her.

"Ma Mama Ma…!"

The excited cries of her children made Sami almost start to cry as they toddled out from the living room where they'd been playing with Marlena.

"Johnny! Ali!" she said happily and they squealed at hearing their mother say their names, "Put me down EJ!"

EJ obediently crouched down then with Sami in his arms and the children did their best to run to her and threw themselves at Sami which made her burst into tears. EJ had bought them up to see her when she was in hospital but there was something about coming home to her children that was a little overwhelming. Johnny and Ali seemed a little worried by Sami's sudden tears and both moved to give her a hug of their own accord.

"Careful guys," said EJ affectionately as they clambered over Sami, "You have to be gentle with Mummy remember?"

But no one seemed to be listening as they both somehow managed to get into Sami's lap. Marlena smiled tenderly to see the loving family reunion and felt such a surge of happiness to know that her Sami had at last found the peace she'd been looking for in the love of this surprising man and was grateful that her many prayers had been answered. The last thing in the world Marlena had expected that answer to take shape of was a DiMera but no one could question EJ and Sami's love and devotion to each other and their children now and it made her smile to watch the little family.

"Alright then," laughed EJ when it became clear that the twins and certainly Sami weren't going to be letting go of each other time soon, "All aboard, EJ Airlines is about to take off."

Sami grinned up at him as EJ simply stood up, taking Sami and both of the twins that were still on Sami's lap with him as he did. The twins laughed in excitement at this new ride and everyone else had to join in then. EJ walked into the sitting room and very carefully deposited his precious cargo onto the sofa. Ali immediately threw her arms around EJ's neck desperate for a cuddle from her Daddy and he happily obliged, straightening up with her in his arms. Marlena moved to put some pillows behind Sami's back as she sat lengthwise along the sofa.

"Thanks Mom," smiled gratefully up her mother.

"How are you feeling honey?" asked Marlena solicitously.

"I'm just so happy to be home and be with the twins again Mom," she sighed, a big smile on her face.

"I think that is something Johnny and Ali would agree with you on," laughed Marlena after seeing their excited greeting for her.

"Okay now you two," said EJ and gave them both a very serious look.

Johnny and Ali immediately looked up at him as they did every time he spoke, seeming to find his voice captivating somehow. EJ crouched down beside the sofa with Ali still in his arms and put his other hand on Johnny's head to make sure he had his attention.

"You have to take special care around your Mummy at the moment," he said calmly and he pointed to Sami's heavily bandaged leg, "Ouch."

The twins both understood that word and looked at Sami's leg in wonder.

"Ouch?" repeated Ali who's language skills were slightly better than her brothers at this point.

"That's right darling," he said, "Ouch - so no touching alright? You have to be gentle around your Mummy, no jumping on her okay?"

EJ gave a very pointed look at his son then as his propensity to launch and hurl himself at things were legendary around these parts nowadays. He was a lot more physically rambunctious than his sister and would be the one to watch out for in regards to inadvertently hurting his mother.

"And that means you too my boy," said EJ, tickling his cheek with a finger, "No cannonball attacks on Mummy - only Daddy from now on eh?"

They both grinned at him then and waggled their heads in unison.

"They'll be fine EJ," said Sami with a smile at the little father/children talk, "Don't worry."

"You know how worked up they can get," said EJ with a little raised eyebrow, "You need to be careful Samantha and you need to be getting your rest and building up your strength again."

"Well I think I'll build up my strength by getting lots of cuddles from these two rascals," grinned Sami, hugging Johnny which promptly made Ali want to join in, holding out her arms to her mother so EJ very carefully put her in Sami's lap as well.

"I have to go to work," he said with a regretful sigh then, checking his watch, "I've got a couple of meetings that I simply couldn't put off."

"That's fine honey," said Sami, smiling at her children and then pulling a funny face and making them laugh, "You go, I'll be fine."

EJ frowned, feeling a little anxious about leaving her. At least at the hospital there were doctors and nurses on hand if she should need anything but here at home it wasn't the case.

"It will be fine EJ," said Marlena, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder as he was still crouched down by the sofa beside Sami and the twins, "I'm going to be here if Sami needs anything and I'll take care of the twins as well."

"See," said Sami brightly, "Nothing to worry about EJ."

"Right," sighed EJ as he stood up, still wishing he could stay, "I suppose I should get going then."

"Bye sweetie," smiled Sami as he leant down to kiss her goodbye, "Say goodbye to Daddy guys - he's off to work now."

"Buh, buh bye buh," they chorused happily up at EJ as he kissed them both goodbye to.

"Samantha…" began EJ as he straightened up but she stopped him.

"Stop worrying EJ," she said with a casual wave of her hand, "I'm just going to take it easy I promise and enjoy being with my children - nothing more strenuous than that I swear - Scouts honour."

"You were a Scout?" asked EJ sceptically, a little smile on his lips.

"I let one kiss me once," she said with a grin, "Does that count?"

"Hm," said EJ with a mock scowl, "I don't like the sound of that - what was his name and where can I find him."

"Well we were ten at the time so I don't think you need to go and kick down any doors honey," she laughed up at him.

"If you say so," said EJ looking as though he was reluctant to let it go but the twinkle in his eyes belied his annoyance.

"I do," said Sami blithely, settling back into the sofa and giving him a dismissive wave of her hand, "No go EJ and earn some money so you can keep me in the manner to which I've become accustomed."

EJ laughed at that and waved as Sami and twins waved and blew him kisses, collecting his brief case and leaving for the office at last.

"So my darlings," said Sami, smiling at her children now that EJ was gone, "What have you two been up to while Mommy's been gone? Did you miss me? I missed you so much!"

The twins nodded their heads wildly and proceeded to fill in Sami on all that she'd missed - there was a lot of garbled, excited talk and the occasional bit of spitting and Sami simply couldn't get enough of it all.

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami looked up at the knock on her bedroom door.

"Yes?" she said from where she was propped up on the bed.

"It's me, can I come in?"

"Of course John," said Sami sitting up a bit straighter in bed.

It was after lunch now and the twins were down for a sleep and John had carried her upstairs about half an hour ago so she could get some rest herself. It was funny but Sami hadn't even felt self-conscious about him doing that, not giving it a second thought somehow. John opened the door but just stood in the doorway, not coming in.

"What?" she asked with a little laugh, seeing the look on his face.

"I have something for you," said John and there was definite excitement to that statement which piqued Sami's curiosity - not that it was a difficult thing to do of course.

"You do?" asked Sami, a big smile on her face, "What kind of something John?"

"Something that will make your life a whole lot easier while you're recovering," said John and she could tell he was simply busting to tell her what it was.

"Oh?" said Sami with a little frown, trying to work out what it might be, "You mean like a nurse or something?"

"Better!" said John confidently, "Close your eyes."

Sami felt herself get suddenly nervous at that request - the last time he'd asked her to close her eyes she'd become the proud if somewhat reluctant owner of six flamingos! But then again, it wasn't like he could get another giant bird up stairs to her bedroom right? So it had to be something far more practical - after all, John had said it would make her life easier - even John couldn't think that presenting her with something like an ostrich would make her life easier… right?

Sami wished she felt more confident in answering that question than she did but this was John after all, he bought new meaning to the word eccentric, hell, he bought a new meaning to a lot of words! Sami cautiously closed her eyes, her face showing a little anxiety now. She heard John walking into the room but she didn't hear any rustle of feathers so she took that as a good sign.

"Okay," said John happily, "Open your eyes."

Sami warily opened her eyes and blinked, looking at John uncertainly, not immediately seeing her gift. Then she looked down and saw it and promptly screamed and put her hands over her mouth.

"Whoa!" said John in surprise, "What was _that_ for?!"

"Is that… is that a monkey?" asked Sami in wide eyed horror, staring at the little figure sitting on the end of her bed.

"Yes!" said John proudly.

The monkey blinked at Sami and made a little chirpy sound.

"Wh… why?" stammered Sami weakly, unable to take her eyes off the furry little thing - she'd never been this close to a live monkey before in her life.

"I don't know," shrugged John stoically, "Probably because it's parents were monkeys I suppose."

Sami did look up at John then, his words finally breaking through her disbelief.

"Not why is he a monkey John," she said in distracted exasperation, "Why is he on my bed?!"

"He's a Helper Monkey," announced John proudly.

"A what?" asked Sami in confusion going back to staring at the monkey.

"A Helper Monkey," repeated John dutifully, "He's a monkey… that helps… you know… around the house, fetching things and what not for you."

"Are you telling me I'm supposed to have… have this… this _creature_ trailing around after me?" asked Sami, reverting back to her earlier horror, "What if he has fleas… or oh god… rabies?!"

"He doesn't have fleas or rabies," dismissed John easily, "Relax."

"Relax!" exclaimed Sami, "John - the twins!"

"I don't think they'll hurt it," mused John, "But just to be on the safe side we can lock them up when he's around."

"I'm not worried about the _monkey_," said Sami through gritted teeth, "I'm worried the twins!"

"Why?" asked John in consternation, "There's two of them and only one of Roger - they've got him out numbered."

"Roger?" repeated Sami flatly.

"It's his name," said John happily, "Roger. Roger is a Capuchin monkey. I thought you'd like him, he seems to like you… or at least he would if you stopped squawking so much. I think you're making him nervous."

"_I'm_ making him _nervous_?!" said Sami loudly, "John - there is a monkey on my bed! What if he decides to attack me or something - I can't even run away!"

"It's unlikely you'd be able to out run him anyway," said John with a shake of his head, "I've seen you run - you're not exactly a gazelle."

"John please stop giving me live things!" said Sami, sounding very stressed and ignoring his last comment as she had more immediate problems, looking uncertainly at Roger who was still on the end of her bed looking back at her calmly.

"Well if I killed Roger before giving him to you I can't see him being as helpful as he would be alive," reasoned John completely seriously, "Unless you were needing a paper weight or something and then there'd be a smell after a while… and some possible leakage of bodily fluids…"

Sami just sat there, mouth hanging open as John worked through his thought processes aloud.

"… besides," he said with a shrug, "I'm almost positive there is something in the contract about not killing the monkeys. I'd have to check though… there was a lot of fine print."

**oooOOOOooo**

"And if I could just have a copy of that contract sent to the Feldman's please Marcie?" said EJ, handing the last of the paper work to his secretary.

"Of course Mr DiMera," she smiled at him as she accepted the pieces of paper, "I'll do that right away so it will make today's post."

"Excellent," he said and then grabbed his coat pocket as his cell phone began to ring, "Excuse me for a moment won't you Marcie?"

The woman nodded in response to his polite request as EJ pulled out his cell phone and smiled to see who the caller was.

"Sweetheart," he said happily, "I was just about to ring you and see how your morning has be…"

EJ got no further then as Sami launched into loud hysterics that made even Marcie look up from where she was sitting at her desk and raise an eyebrow. EJ for his part winced and had to hold the phone away from his ear to avoid permanent damage.

"Sam… Samantha," he attempted to interrupt her but it wasn't to be, "What's wrong… sweetheart… calm down… wait… what's happened… are you alright?"

EJ was instantly concerned that she'd hurt herself already seeing as she'd only been out of the hospital for a few hours but she didn't sound so much hurt as upset… and loud, very, very loud.

"Darling slow down," he tried again, "You're not making any sense. There's a what in the house… a flunkey… a what… a monkey?! Paperweight… what… leaking… Samantha what are you say…"

Marcie's other eyebrow joined the first on the top of her forehead as she couldn't help but listen in.

"Alright, alright," said EJ when it became clear that he wasn't going to be calming her down over the phone, "I'm coming home right now Samantha… just calm down… I'll be right there!"

He hung up then and made a distinctly worried face.

"Marcie…" he began but she pre-empted him.

"Go," she said quickly, "I'll forward any important messages on to you Mr DiMera."

"Thank you," said EJ distractedly, feeling for his car keys and remembering that they were in his desk drawer with his wallet.

He hurried back to get them and his coat and Marcie stopped him before he got too far.

"Ah Mr DiMera," she said a little uncertainly, "I couldn't help but overhear a little of that conversation with Mrs DiMera… do you want me to get you the number of Animal Control at all?"

"That's fine," said EJ with a shake of his head, "I'm sure I'll be able to handle it but thank you."

EJ got to the lifts and then looked back at her.

"On second thoughts can you just forward it to my cell phone," he said hurriedly, "Just in case."

"Very good Mr DiMera," said Marcie with a bob of her head, "And good luck!"

"Thanks," said EJ grimly, "I think I may need it!"

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ pushed open the front door of the DiMera mansion and walked through, stopping and listening intently. There was utter silence and he had no idea if that was a good thing or a bad thing. EJ walked into the living room, looking for Sami but found his uncle instead.

"Uncle John," frowned EJ, "Where's Samantha?"

"I took her up to your bedroom earlier," said John absently, continuing on with filling out the crossword in the newspaper and not looking up - he'd developed a liking for the word game at some point.

"Is she alright?" asked EJ worriedly, "I got a phone call…"

"Relax Nephew," said John stoically, "Everything is fine… the wild cat is perfectly gruntled now."

"If that's the case why did I get a…?" EJ stopped himself then and frowned at John, "I'm sorry… Samantha's perfectly what Uncle?"

"Gruntled," replied John, finally looking at him now.

"That's not a word," said EJ.

"Of course it is," frowned John, "It's the opposite of disgruntled."

"Someone can't be gruntled Uncle John," said EJ in exasperation, "The opposite of disgruntled is contented."

"Then why is the opposite of disaccord accord?" pointed out John logically, "Or disadvantage advantage? Or are you going to tell me those aren't words either?"

"No of course advantage and accord are words," said EJ in growing frustration with this conversation, "It's just that gruntled isn't."

"That makes absolutely no sense," said John flatly.

"Well welcome to my world Uncle," said EJ with a roll of his eyes, "So Samantha is in our room then? And she's alright?"

"There was a thing," admitted John calmly, "I tried to help her out and it seemed to catch her off guard somewhat."

"Oh god Uncle John," said EJ anxiously, "What have you done now?"

"Relax," said John with a wave of his hand, "You're as bad as wifey sometimes."

"Right," said EJ stoically, "Well I'd best see to whatever new trauma you've managed to introduce into Samantha's life shall I?"

"Knock yourself out," said John with an unconcerned shrug.

"Fine," sighed EJ and turned back round and headed for the stairs.

"Hm," mused John thoughtfully to himself after EJ had left and looking back down at his crossword puzzle now, "So does that mean the opposite of unanimous isn't going to be animous after all?"

**oooOOOooo**

EJ took the steps up to their bedroom two at a time, wondering what new kind of crazy John had visited upon the family. The word 'monkey' kept coming back from his garbled phone conversation with Sami but surely even John would draw the line at that. EJ pushed open the bedroom door to see Sami propped up in bed and definite proof that his uncle still hand no idea how to draw anything kind of thing even resembling a line.

"It's a monkey," said EJ in amazement, looking at the little animal currently sitting beside Sami on the bed as she fed it something from a bag she was holding.

"Oh EJ," said Sami in surprise, "Oh I'm sorry - the phone call… I should have rung back. I guess I was a little overwrought before."

"Are you alright?" asked EJ with a frown, still a little distracted by the sight of his wife in bed with a monkey if the truth be told.

"Yes I'm fine," she said with a little laugh and then looked over at Roger, "John gave me a monkey… a helper monkey in fact."

"I see," said EJ weakly coming into the room and looking curiously at the animal and Roger did the same back.

"I was a bit freaked out to begin with," admitted Sami ruefully, "But I calmed down and it turns out Roger…"

"Roger?" interrupted EJ with an arched eyebrow.

"It's his name," said Sami blithely, sounding more like John then she realised which sent a shudder down EJ's spine, "Anyway, once I calmed down and got to spend a little time with Roger I realised how great he is. He can do all sorts of things EJ - fetch me whatever I need. They're very well trained and just look how cute he is!"

Roger batted his eyes at Sami as if on cue and made a chittery little sound which Sami giggled at.

"Isn't he adorable?!" she asked of EJ with a big grin.

"Very," nodded EJ distractedly, "Adorable… and on my side of the bed too… how… lovely."

EJ gave a little scowl at how comfortable Roger looked there and then his scowl deepened when Sami picked him up and Roger clung to her chest now. Damn it - no one got to touch her boobs but him - he didn't care who or what they were!

"Come and have a closer look," implored Sami as she cuddled him, "I just think he's so cute!"

EJ walked in and Roger looked him up and down before grabbing a handful of Sami's pale hair and sniffing it with interest. EJ took a seat on the bed and looked a little troubled.

"And you're alright with this sweetheart?" he asked a little sceptically, "You want to keep… ah… Roger? I mean if you don't I can just go back down and speak to Uncle John and…"

"Oh no no!" said Sami hastily and gave EJ a pleading look, "I really like him now - it was just the initial shock and like I said, he's going to be a big help to me while I'm still so immobile. It was a weird thing for John to do… not that it should be surprising by now - John doing a weird thing but I actually think Roger here is really going to make my life easier."

"Well if you're happy to have Roger around then so am I sweetheart," said EJ ruefully, looking at the little creature and shaking his head.

"Oh thank you!" said Sami happily and tickled Roger's belly as he sat on her shoulder, "Did you hear that Roger - you can stay."

Roger clapped his hands together on cue and pulled a funny face which made Sami giggle and that alone for EJ was enough to convince him this was a good idea at hearing her laugh again.

"EJ do you mind taking Roger downstairs and seeing if he needs to have a drink or something?" asked Sami.

"Of course not darling," said EJ with a shake of his head and held out his hands to Roger who dutifully jumped into them.

"Bring him back when you're done," said Sami with a smile, obviously smitten by this latest addition to the family.

"We'll be right back," said EJ wryly, "Roger and I are just going to get better acquainted."

"Okay," said Sami, "The twins are going to be so excited to meet him."

"I've no doubt of that," said EJ dryly as he and Roger left the room.

EJ walked down the hallway a little and then stopped and held Roger up to his face.

"Okay you," ground rules, said EJ only half joking, now that he and Roger were alone, "Let's get one things straight here - I don't care how adorable or cute you are - that's my wife in there and that's my side of the bed… so paws off okay?!"

Roger sized him up at that and made a little chat-chat sound as though mulling it over. He then wiggled out of EJ's hands and promptly sat on his shoulder, arm around his neck.

"Alrighty then, glad we've got that sorted," said EJ, seeming to be satisfied they'd reached a gentleman's agreement as to whom it was Samantha belonged to, "Now let me get you acclimated then Roger… the twins Ali and Johnny - you may want to steer clear of them - I think they could quite possibly would want to love you to death so you may want to be a little wary of that."

EJ started down the stairs now, Roger still on his shoulder as he chatted to the little animal. If he'd stopped to think about it he might have seen the resemblance between himself and his uncle with talking to the local wildlife but by this stage of the game EJ was so used to these kinds of things that it no longer seemed abnormal.

"Next," continued on EJ calmly, "If you happen to wander outside you'll notice that we have an inordinate amount of large birds in the gardens for a house in suburbia. They're all perfectly fine and you have nothing to fear from them… except for the peacock with half a tail… whatever you do avoid him at all costs. It's a long story but basically the general consensus is that he is Satan - just take our word for it eh?"

EJ was at the foot of the steps now.

"Okay, next is Rolf," said EJ as he walked towards the kitchen, "What can I tell you or rather warn you about Rolf…"

As it turned out there ended up being quite a few things EJ ended up warning Roger about when it came to living in the DiMera mansion with their family and if Roger could speak he might have wondered what it was exactly he'd gotten himself into here.


	44. Chapter 44

**Chapter FORTY FOUR**

_He moved into her with one smooth motion, her wet heat enveloping him and causing a ragged gasp to be torn from his lips. It was always so perfect, this first coming together and he closed his eyes against the exquisiteness of it all. She sighed happily and he felt her legs wrap around his waist, holding him deep inside of her even as he began to thrust into her, finding his rhythm. The smell of her was all around him, her softness pressed against every hard line of his bodies and he felt like she was inside of him just as much as he was inside of her right then. He didn't know where he ended and she started and it was perfection personified. _

"_EJ," she groaned, her name breathed into their kiss, her need making him fall even more deeply into her. _

_He tightened his grip on her, never wanting her to be out of his arms again, his body urging him to claim her utterly, take what was being so freely offered. She tasted of every sweet thing he'd ever known and he couldn't get enough, drinking ever deeper from her as his body pushed them both onwards towards that sweet release. The bliss of being inside of her again, being able to worship her body like this was driving him mad from the sheer joy of it all._

"_Samantha," he choked, loving her utterly as finally made himself break the kiss so he could look down at her._

_He held himself up off her slightly with his arms either side of her shoulders, taking in the vision that was his wife. Pale blonde hair fanned out around her face on the bed sheets, her face pink and a fine sheen of perspiration to her skin from their exertions. Her blue eyes were bright and full of love and desire for him and the sight made him swallow hard suddenly. _

_A goddess beyond compare… his goddess and his alone to have and to hold forever._

"_Samantha!"_

_She smiled a secret smile to hear her name on his lips like that and began to meet each one of his growingly desperate thrusts more fully, tilting her hips to allow him ever deeper into her. EJ closed his eyes briefly and threw his head back, straining against the impossible pleasure she was giving him, struggling to hold on to his control even while he knew it was a hopeless cause. He was undone by her and nothing in this world would ever change that._

"_EJ."_

_Something in her voice made him tense, the way she said his name, so uncertainly and he quickly opened his eyes, looking back down at her and what he saw tore an anguished gasp from his throat. Gone was the life and love in her eyes and the flush of life to her cheeks. Instead suddenly milky blue eyes stared up at him sightlessly and the skin that had been heated with her passion was cold and white. Her hair was suddenly wet and clung to the sides of her lifeless face, cutting cruel looking lines across the pale flesh. _

_She looked utterly dead but her lips moved then, croaking out a single word._

"_EJ."_

_A plea… an accusation, he couldn't tell which, all he knew that she was lost to him forever and he wanted to howl in agony but the pain was too deep and no sound came as he felt his heart being ripped asunder. _

"_EJ."_

"EJ."

The sound of his name and the feeling of a soft touch on his shoulder bought him suddenly wide awake and he jerked up right in the chair he'd been sleeping in, looking around himself wildly as he tried to come to his senses and recover from such a vivid nightmare. He blinked blearily, trying to clear the sleep from his eyes as he looked up into the concerned face of his wife.

"Samantha!" he said urgently, putting out a hand and touching her side as she stood their on her crutches in front of him, "Are you alright?"

The question was half from the dream and half from seeing her standing there in front of him, still disorientated from everything.

"I'm fine honey," she said with a little shake of her head and a worried look at him, "Are you alright?"

"Yes," said EJ, giving a little shake of his head to clear it further as his senses slowly returned to him, "I guess I must have fallen asleep."

"Did you sleep here all night?" she asked with gentle censure in her voice, "I woke up and you were gone."

"I… ahh…," EJ struggled to organise his thoughts, "Ali was fussing and I didn't want her to wake you so I came in here to settle her but it took longer than I thought and I guess I most have dozed off."

"In the rocking chair?" asked Sami with a little smile on her lips, "That could not have been comfortable EJ."

EJ grimaced and rubbed his face tiredly with both hands before answering.

"It wasn't," he admitted ruefully, starting to stretch himself out a bit now, putting a hand to his lower back and tilting to one side and grimacing.

"You should have let me go to the twins EJ," she said, shaking her head at him, "You work all day, you can't be awake all night too."

"You're still recovering sweetheart," said EJ with a shake of his head, reaching out and stroking her arm as she leant on her crutches beside him, "You need to get your rest."

"I'm doing alright EJ," she told him, touched by his concern but worried for him, especially as she saw the little beads of sweat on his forehead and upper lip, "You don't need to fuss so."

"I just need to know that we're doing everything right so that you'll have a smooth recovery darling," said EJ, standing up then giving another grimace as his muscles complained again.

He bent down and pressed a kiss to her forehead, feeling the warmth of her skin under his lips and feeling a sudden flash of horror as his dream returned to him in full force. He could never lose her again because it would kill him now, he was sure of it. Ever since that horrible night when he'd watched Sami drown his dreams had tormented him with those images. EJ tried to put a brave face on it for Sami so that she wouldn't worry about him but the night terrors were relentless. He had managed to keep it from her so far but he could see she was becoming suspicious or more correctly, worried about him.

Sometimes they were so bad that he'd wake up thrashing and he was terrified that he was going to hurt her when that happened. Thankfully the fact that she was still on painkillers meant that she slept a deeper sleep than normal and he had yet to wake her with his wild flailings about. EJ was starting to find excuses not to join her in bed for fear that he would inadvertently hurt her leg during one of his nightmares and the twins had come in handy in that department. For once Sami actually slept through there night time calls and EJ was happy to see to them, needing a break from the brutality of his nightmares.

He was just so afraid of losing her that EJ felt paralysed somehow, even though she was home with him safe and sound, it wasn't enough. His hold on her felt tenuous, as though at any moment he was going to wake up and find that this was the dream and that he really had lost her that night. During the day it was easier, he could lose himself in the business of daily routine. They'd talk and laugh together, care for the children and it almost seemed as though everything was normal again. But it was when the stillness of night came and there were no more distractions that the dark thoughts came for EJ and he was finding them harder to keep at bay.

Oddly enough those thoughts weren't of his father, despite his gruesome end and EJ's hand in that. No, that felt right to EJ somehow, like it was how it was always meant to be. But the spectre of losing his Samantha loomed ever large and no matter how many times he held her in his arms, heard her say his name and kissed her it just didn't seem to be going anywhere. He could see Sami was growing puzzled by his growing distance from her.

Not that he wasn't still affectionate towards her of course as he always had been but when she would push for a little more he found he couldn't, his fear paralysing him. He loved her so much and wanted to return to that intimacy between them but all of his nightmares of losing her kept surging to the front of his mind every time he lingered in his kisses with her or let his hand rest against her skin for that little bit too long. It clouded his thoughts and he was too afraid of hurting her in some way if he let it go any further. He knew he was being irrational but he just couldn't seem to find a way past it and EJ was at a loss to know what to do about it.

"My recovery is fine," she said with a little shake of her head and then gave him an unhappy look, "I'm more worried about you these days."

"Oh darling," said EJ, standing up and giving her a brief kiss on the lips and moving past her and away from those searching blue eyes that new him far too well nowadays, "The last thing you need to worry about is me. If you were to look up fine in the dictionary there would be a picture of me."

Sami made a sceptical face at that and would have argued but Johnny woke up and started to cry as was his habit and to EJ's great relief Samantha was distracted from pursuing that particular line of questioning any further. But EJ knew it was only a temporary respite but he would gladly take it for now.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ turned his head as he sat in the living room, working on some paperwork later that day and smiled as he looked out the French doors to see Sami and the twins sitting out on the patio with Roger on Sami's shoulder. They were all sitting on a rug and enjoying an unseasonably warm day for November and EJ watched them all playing together happily. Roger had fitted in well with the family and despite a few close calls with the twins trying to love him a little too much he had turned out to be a real help to Sami while she was still so limited in her movements.

It had been so funny seeing the twins meet Roger for the first time - they were utterly captivated by the little furry animal and the fact that he had a tail seemed to be a great source of interest to them both. A fact that Roger had grown to regret as they repeatedly made grabs for it and on the odd occasion being successful before and adult quickly intervened. It had been particularly hilarious when Johnny had started to look for first his tail and then Ali's and seemed particularly upset that neither he or his sister had one.

EJ watched as Roger jumped down from Sami's shoulder suddenly and retrieved a block Ali had been having difficulty getting to because it was on the table above her head. EJ smiled to see the little creature helping out his daughter as well. Ali gave an excited squeal of appreciation when Roger presented her with the block and he chitted back happily at her.

EJ frowned a little when he saw Sami move a little uncomfortably where she sat then, trying to get her leg in a better position. He hadn't been thrilled at the thought of Sami sitting on the ground in her condition but she'd insisted and as was the case nowadays EJ simply couldn't refuse her. Sami saw him looking at them and smiled brightly back at him, blowing him a kiss. EJ returned the smile but then tensed as Johnny took a flying leap directly at Sami but Rolf suddenly appeared and stopped him in mid flight, picking him up and shaking his head at him.

"None of zat kleiner Junge," said Rolf, placing him back down beside his sister, "You vill do your Mutter a mizchief!"

EJ blew out a sigh of relief, grateful to Rolf for his quick reflexes. Rolf walked back into the patio then on his way back to the kitchen.

"Zat vone zinks he can fly," said Rolf with a shake of his head as he walked by.

"Do we have proof that he can't?" asked John, looking up from his paper, "You never know."

"For the last time Uncle John," said EJ in exasperation, "The X-Men was only a movie based on a comic strip! Humans are currently not evolving into mutants with super powers!"

"How can you be so certain," said John straight faced, "That's probably just what the government wants you to think and meanwhile they are amassing a secret mutant army!"

"That's it!" said EJ in frustration, "I'm vetoing any further movie watching on your behalf unless I'm there alright?"

"You know I'd keep an eye on Boy Baby if I were you," said John as though he hadn't spoken, "He's abnormally large… you can't tell me something's not going on there."

"I keep telling you Uncle John," said EJ with a roll of his eyes, "Johnny is the same size I was when I was his age - I can show you photo's if that will put your mind at rest."

John looked EJ up and down then, a contemplative look on his face as he pursed his lips and EJ shook his head at him, just knowing what he was thinking.

"I _don't_ have any super powers Uncle," said EJ flatly.

"How do I know that you're not lying to me?" questioned John sceptically.

"Because if I had super powers I'd be using them right now!" said EJ sweetly with a warning look at John.

John considered this for a moment and then seemed to decide that he was going to accept that and without another word he went back to his paper.

"Zis place iz a peanut houze," said Rolf with a shake of his head as he'd stopped to listen to their conversation.

"Nut house," corrected EJ with a sigh, having to agree with him.

"Ya," nodded Rolf, "Zat iz vhat I zaid - peanut houze."

"No," EJ shook his head, "You just say nut house - the expression is nut house Rolf."

"But a peanut iz a nut," pointed out Rolf quite reasonably.

"He's right you know," nodded John, chiming in, "A peanut is a nut… you can tell because it's got the word 'nut' in the name."

"I know a peanut is a nut!" said EJ in growing vexation, "I'm just saying that the expression isn't 'peanut house' but 'nut house'. That's all!"

"I'm beginning to think you make these things up Nephew," said John sounding a little suspicious now.

"Ya," agreed Rolf, "I don't zee vhat za difference iz Elvis."

"God give me strength!" growled EJ, wondering why he was even bothering, "Just take my word for it - the expression is 'nut house' alright?!"

Rolf and John exchanged sceptical looks which only annoyed EJ further.

"Alright!" said EJ in annoyance as he stuck up his hand in the air, "Hands up everyone here who can remember more than the last ten months of their lives and English isn't their second language!"

He looked between Rolf and John, silently challenging them and made a triumphant sound when neither of them moved.

"Right then!" said EJ smugly, "In that case this matter is settled!"

"Well I don't think we have to look too far for who the chief nut is around the place," commented John flatly to Rolf at EJ's outburst.

"I'm not listening," said EJ through gritted teeth, "I'm finding my happy place."

EJ looked over at Sami and the twins again and blew out an annoyed breath and breathed in a calming one. He didn't know why he bothered with those two he really didn't. Looking on the peaceful scene Sami and the twins playing returned the smile to his face and he sighed again, looking down at the papers on his lap that he'd been trying to get through with limited success, his mind wandering again.

"_Well they're asleep at last," sighed Sami as she walked into their bedroom, "I don't know how but I think they managed to get their hands on some sugar because they were just out of control tonight, both of them."_

_EJ looked up from the bed where he was currently sitting cross legged and surrounded in bits of official looking papers laid out neatly and a file in one hand as he looked over the top of his glasses at her. _

"_You should have called me," he chided her gently, "I would have helped."_

"_I managed," she shrugged, walking to the foot of the bed and looking down at him, thinking how gorgeous he looked bare chested and with his glasses on, "Besides, you look busy."_

"_Never too busy for my children," he said with a smile._

"_And what about me?" she asked, arching an eyebrow, "Are you ever too busy for me EJ?"_

"_God forbid Samantha," he grinned up at her._

"_Well in that case…" she murmured, her eyes drifting over her husband's finely toned body, "I was thinking I'd make a new rule…"_

"_A new rule?" asked EJ, eyebrows raised, a look of intrigue on his face._

"_Aha," she nodded, a slow sexy smile spreading across her face, "From now on the only thing you get to do in our bed…"_

_Sami had started to climb onto the bed then on her hands and knees, crawling closer to him over the bits of paper and holding his intent gaze with a sultry one of her own._

"… _is me," she finished huskily, her lips almost touching his now but not quite. _

"_Samantha," he rasped, his brown eyes flaring with desire now._

"_Yes EJ?" she asked coyly, her lips brushing ever so lightly over his as she did._

"_You're on Mr Edelman's paperwork," he informed her attempting to be serious but the edges of his mouth were turned up, betraying him._

"_Oh well," sighed Sami, feigning regret and going to move away, "We can't have that now can we? I guess I'll leave you and Mr Edelman alone then."_

_Sami straightened up so that she was kneeling in front of him and carelessly pulled her top off over her head, revealing her naked breasts to him._

"_I guess I'll just go and have a shower then seeing as you're so busy," she said tongue in cheek as she saw her husband's eyes widen at the sight of her suddenly exposed breasts. _

_It was kind of amazing to Sami that EJ was still so intrigued by her breasts particularly consider how much he'd gotten to see them in these last months but the captivated look on his face told her that he was as fascinated by them and her as he ever was. Sami began to move away from EJ but before Sami even had time to react EJ was grabbing her and with one hand pushing all of the offending bits of paper off the bed roughly. With the other he was throwing her down on the newly cleared space and moving over her . Sami giggled at his careless haste as she looked up at him._

"_What?" she teased him, "Change of plans EJ?"_

"_I've reschedule Mr Edelman's appointment," nodded EJ, his avid gaze running over her naked breasts as he licked his lips slowly, "To a more convenient time."_

"_But whatever are you going to tell him?" asked Sami playfully._

"_That something came up," he played along with her teasing, amusement mixed in with the lust in his eyes._

"_Something big?" she asked innocently, her eyes wide._

"_Something _huge_ Mrs DiMera," he confirmed for her with a wicked look._

_Sami's eyes drifted down to EJ's lap as he held himself over her where the result of their little game was already clearly evident, his hardness straining against his sweat pants. _

"_So I see Mr DiMera," she purred, reaching up and wrapping her arms around his neck, dragging him down to her, "So I see."_

_EJ closed his eyes as their lips met, her breasts rubbing against his own naked chest, the hard pebble of her nipples scrapping across his skin and causing his breath to hitch in his throat. A large hand moved to slip between their bodies and cup that softness, thrilling at how his hand could barely contain her. He dragged his lips from hers and hungrily sought out that peak he could feel against his palm, attaching himself to the little nub and making them both moan loudly…_

"What are you thinking about Nephew?" asked John curiously, seeing the far away look on EJ's face.

EJ blinked rapidly a few times, forcing himself back into reality, reluctantly leaving his memories… for now.

"Paperwork," said EJ straight faced, pleased at how even sounding his voice was considering his wayward thoughts.

"Do you want to know what I was thinking about?" asked John calmly.

"No," said EJ flatly.

"Ompaloompas," replied John, evidently that question had been rhetorical.

"Oh god," said EJ and sighed heavily.

"You could race Ompaloompas against Boy and Girl Baby," said John, nodding away sagely and it was obvious he'd given the matter a great deal of thought.

EJ just looked at him and tried to think where to begin with that one.

"So Nephew," said John, completely seriously, "Do you know where one might acquire one or two Ompaloompas?"

EJ regard John steadily and didn't answer immediately. Clearly his uncle was having difficulty in distinguishing between reality and fiction but what EJ didn't know is if he had the strength to correct him after the 'peanut house' fiasco of a few minutes ago.

"They have a website," said EJ straight faced, "I was on it yesterday. But you're out of luck I'm sorry to say Uncle John - they sold their last Ompaloompa last week and are currently out of stock. I'm not sure when they'll be getting more."

"Oh," said John and he sounded very disappointed by this news.

EJ wasn't sure if he was going to go to hell for toying with a man with brain damage or if he was going to be given a free pass into heaven for stopping John being unleashed on an unsuspecting world.

_It was hard to know really…_


	45. Chapter 45

**Chapter FORTY FIVE**

"What are you doing?" asked John, tilting his head to one side and watching as EJ rumpled up yet another piece of paper and threw it at the waste basket.

"I'm writing my wedding vows," he replied distractedly, getting out a fresh piece of paper.

John looked at the mound of balled pieces of paper in the waste basket and then back at EJ.

"So how's it going?" asked John straight faced.

"Swimmingly," said EJ sarcastically.

"What's the problem?" asked John evenly, "You never seem to run out of things to say – what's the big deal?"

"The big deal Uncle John that is half the problem," said EJ with a rueful sigh, "I've written out pages worth of my vows trying to put down everything Samantha means to me that it's ridiculous. Instead of vows I've written my Magnum Opus! I need to be able to condense everything I've written into something that won't take a day and a half to read out. Not all the wedding guests are in their first flush of youth you know, I don't want to have to combine any funerals with the wedding because I couldn't work out how to be more succinct about my feeling for Samantha."

EJ's eyes narrowed suspiciously when he saw the sudden faraway look on John's face.

"What are you thinking about Uncle John?" asked EJ, knowing full well he was probably going to regret it later.

"That I like the thought of a wedding that culls out the weak in the herd," he mused thoughtfully, obviously envisaging just that which was a little on the creepy side for EJ.

"I thought we agreed that you weren't going to be watching any more Animal Planet Uncle John?" asked EJ dryly.

"Well until Blondie let's me slide into home base I've got nothing else to do with my time," shrugged John, "But all that's going to change once my new plan swings into action."

"Uncle do you think this is a great idea?" asked EJ with a bit of a frown, "You remember how your last attempts at wooing Marlena went… remember 'The Vagina Monologues'?"

"Remember it?" scowled John, "I'm thinking of letting Rolf have another crack at me with his brain scraping device just to have it wiped clean out!"

"Well yes it certainly didn't result in the outcome you were hoping for," agreed EJ with a wry chuckle, "But don't you think you should run it be me first whatever it is that you've got planned just in case."

"Well you just think you've got all the answers don't you nephew?" asked John flatly, "Just because you've seen Blondie naked and I haven't… yet."

"I do wish you'd stop bringing that unfortunate incident up Uncle," sighed EJ in resignation, taking off his glasses and shaking his head at John.

"Yeah well I _do_ wish you hadn't seen Blondie naked so I guess that makes us even," huffed John.

"So what is it exactly you have planned Uncle John?" asked EJ nervously, giving up on the other.

"Well seeing as the whole theatre thing didn't exactly pan out," said John flatly, "I thought I'd try a different tact."

EJ made a hand gesture, silently indicating he should continue.

"I thought I'd take Blondie on safari in Africa," said John triumphantly.

"Well a trip away may not be that bad an idea actually," nodded EJ thoughtfully, "It might give you a chance to bond a little more."

"That's right," agreed John calmly, "Hunting down and killing things together is a very bonding experience… look at us."

"Wait," said EJ, straightening up in his chair at that, "You want to take Marlena on a _hunting_ safari?!"

"Correct," said John with a definite nod of her head, "She'll love it!"

"I highly doubt that Uncle John!" said EJ in vague horror, trying to picture Marlena Evans crawling through the undergrowth in the wilds of Africa attempting to bag herself a wildebeest – it was not an easy thing, "In fact I think she'd be utterly repulsed at the thought of shooting any living creature!"

"We wouldn't be shooting them," said John with a frown, a little put out that EJ would even suggest such a thing.

"Well thank god for that," said EJ with a sigh but his relief was premature.

"Where's the fun in that?" asked John with a shake of his head, "We'd be just using our wits and whatever we can find to turn into a weapon to defend ourselves."

Again EJ tried to picture that and was coming up short.

"What?" asked John when he saw EJ seeming to be having some kind of great internal struggle.

"There are just so many things wrong with what you just said that I'm finding it difficult to know where to start," said EJ faintly and then shook his head, "But here goes…"

John arched an eyebrow as EJ took a deep breath - clearly it wasn't going to be a short list. When he was done EJ gave John a pointed look. John looked back at him and pouted moodily, displeased at EJ's lack of enthusiasm for his ideas to woo Marlena.

"You stifle my inner child," he sulked.

"I'd like to throttle your inner child," said EJ dryly, "But I think there may be a law against it. Oh and no more Dr Phil for you either… inner child indeed!"

"You don't let me do anything!" scowled John unhappily.

"That is my game plan," agreed EJ with a quirk of his lips.

"Hmph," said John and took a sip of his scotch and then gave EJ a considered look over the top of his glass, "So why don't you show me Elvis."

"Show you what?" asked EJ in confusion.

"What you've already written for your wedding vows," said John, suddenly reverting back to their earlier conversation, "Maybe I can help get it down to size for you."

EJ pursed his lips and thought about that. He was a little uncertain as to how helpful John would turn out to be but one thing at least, he'd be guaranteed an honest opinion he supposed.

"Alright," nodded EJ, standing up and intending to go upstairs to retrieve what he'd written thus far.

John had stood up too and replaced his scotch glass back beside the decanter and walked back to where EJ was standing. EJ looked at John and despite yet another deeply concerning conversation with him felt a now familiar great affection for the man. Something he'd been thinking about in the back of his head suddenly seemed like a good idea and EJ smiled at the older man. John looked immediately suspicious and raised an eyebrow at him.

"Uncle John," said EJ with a little smile, "I have something I want to ask you."

"I didn't eat your soap," said John quickly, "It was like that when I found it!"

EJ blinked a couple of times, trying to absorb this latest piece of information and against his better judgement he ploughed on. Although now he knew why there had been teeth marks in the new cinnamon and oatmeal soap Samantha had bought for him when he'd taken it out of it's wrappings. He shouldn't have been that surprised really.

"Actually I was going to ask you something about the wedding," continued on EJ resolutely, "Seeing as Roman is going to be walking Samantha down the aisle now…"

"Yeah," nodded John stoically, "I was usurped."

"Indeed," nodded EJ with a little smile, "I was wondering if instead you would consider being my Best Man?"

"Would we have to hold hands?" asked John quizzically.

"Ah… no," said EJ with a shake of his head, "Why would we?"

"You know, to get down the aisle," said John.

"You don't have to walk me down the aisle Uncle," said EJ with a roll of his eyes, "The Groom and the Best Man are already at the altar, waiting for the Bride."

"Oh," said John, seeming to be considering this, "So what exactly does a Best Man do then?"

"He looks after the rings," shrugged EJ, "Makes sure the Groom turns up on the day and ah… ah…"

EJ trailed off then, suddenly realising something.

"And?" prompted John with an arch of an eyebrow.

"And…" EJ coughed then realising he'd back himself into a corner now, "… umm… they give a speech at the reception."

"A speech?" said John, instantly brightening and standing a little straighter all of a sudden, "You mean where a speech where I get to say whatever I want and everyone has to listen."

"Oh god," said EJ weakly and then shook his head, "You can't say _whatever_ you like Uncle John… in fact, you know now that I think about it the whole thing about the best man giving a speech has pretty much gone out of fashion so maybe we should just…"

"Can I use audiovisual material to illustrate the speech?" asked John, ignoring EJ's attempt to back pedal, his mind obviously racing with ideas, "Or should I just stick to miming? What's your stance on live animals at the reception?"

"Samantha is going to kill me," said EJ faintly, wondering how he could get out of this now but fearing the damage had been done.

"Can I bring a date?" he asked suddenly.

"It's usual that the best man and the chief bridesmaid are partnered," said EJ, "And Samantha has asked Marlena to be her maid of honour."

A slow smile crept across John's face at that and EJ realised that despite the almost inevitable disaster it was going to be allowing John anywhere a microphone, that he couldn't take that away from him now.

"This wedding is going to rock," said John, looking suddenly very pleased with himself.

"That is a particular fear of mine," agreed EJ with a stoic sigh, wondering how long exactly it was going to take to get back into Samantha's good books after she found out about this.

"So go and get your vows thingy," said John with a wave of his hand, "If I'm going to do this, let's do this right. Let's hear what you've got already… after all, now that I'm Best Man I don't want you embarrassing yourself."

"Yes," said EJ dryly, "I rather think that's going to be your job somehow at the wedding."

"I'm going to be busy alright," nodded John, rather missing EJ's point there.

"I'll get what I've written so far Uncle John," said EJ ruefully, "But I'm warning you, I wasn't exaggerating when I said it's turned into my Magnum Opus."

"I'll wait here," said John calmly, "No rush, I can start writing my speech for the wedding while you're gone."

EJ nodded and smiled, putting out a hand to John's arm as he walked by him to go back upstairs. He got to the doorway and turned back round to see John still standing there in the middle of the room, seeming to be rehearsing his speech already because he was mumbling away to himself and making the occasional hand gesture. It went without saying that EJ was going to regret having asked John to make a speech at the wedding but he was still very glad that he had and EJ smiled affectionately at the older man's back before taking himself upstairs to look for his first drafts of his vows.

The front doorbell sounded a minute or two after EJ had left and Rolf went to answer the door. John turned around as the sound of Joseph's typically excited and slightly high pitched voice wafted in along with the gentle laughter of Emily. The pair appeared in the doorway and one corner of John's mouth turned up – his version of a smile.

"Big Black Bear!" said Joseph happily, "How are you honey… oh!"

Joseph put his hand to his mouth and looked pleased with himself.

"Oh I just realised," he said excitedly, "Bear… honey… that's funny!"

"You're a better looking version of Jim Carey," acknowledged Emily teasingly.

"Oh there you both are, you're just in time," John informed Emily and Joseph as they entered the room together, "Elvis is just about to show us all his Magnificent Octopus."

"I'm there!" Joseph almost shrieked in excitement, immediately scurrying over and grabbing a chair and putting himself front and centre of where he assumed the action was going to be and looked around him with excited expectation.

"Joey," said Emily, giving a little laugh at his unbridled enthusiasm, "Do you even have the first idea what John meant by that?"

"Emmy honey," said Joseph looking very serious, "The way I look at it is if I get an offer to be shown _anything_ of EJ's that is magnificent then I'm going to get a front row seat and ask questions later!"

He gave an emphatic nod at that and went back to his expectant waiting.

"I guess that's pretty hard to argue with that kind of logic," she admitted ruefully, "And I must admit I wouldn't mind a peak at EJ's magnificent octopus myself."

"Screw just looking," said Joseph blithely with a careless wave of his hands, "I'm hoping for some hands on action… not just that show and tell hoopla."

"You may be reaching on that I think my dear boy," said Emily smiling.

"I'll be doing more than reaching if he gets within arms lengths sweetie," said Joseph, settling in and looking like he was getting in the zone for some serious tackling action if it came down to it.

EJ walked back into the room then with some papers in one hand and Joseph gave a disappointed sigh to see him fully clothed.

"Emily," he smiled, going to kiss her cheek, "How lovely to see you."

EJ then kissed Joseph's offered cheek, knowing better than to forget him in the greetings.

"And Joseph," he smiled, "Always a delight to see you both."

"We came to visit the little gosling," said Joseph, still giving EJ the once over in the oft chance he might be able to get a glimpse at EJ's magnificent octopus.

Which was a bit tricky really because he didn't actually know what he was looking for but Joseph felt confident he'd know when he found it somehow!

"She's sleeping still," said EJ, "She had a bad night last night and I made her go back to bed earlier."

"Oh how I wish I had a tall, gorgeous man ordering me to bed," sighed Joseph dramatically.

"Don't we all," mused Emily straight faced.

"Guess what?" asked John happily, "I'm going to be Super Man at the wedding!"

"Oh please tell me you're going to be wearing the costume Black Bear!" pleaded Joseph excitedly, "Call me crazy but I cannot resist a man in tights!"

"It's Best Man," corrected EJ as he took a seat on the sofa.

"Best, great, super," shrugged John, "It all means the same thing."

"Oh," sighed Joseph in disappointment, "So no tights then?"

"No tights," said EJ firmly, "And no one wearing their underwear on the outside either!"

"Well I guess I'll have to go back to the drawing board then re my wedding ensemble," said Emily tongue in cheek.

"Don't you encourage them Emily," said EJ trying to sound censuring but the twinkle in his eye belied him, "I just want Samantha to have the wedding she's always dreamed about - not a three ring circus."

Just then Roger appeared from the kitchen and jumped up on EJ's shoulder, putting an arm around his shoulder and chitting excitedly in EJ's ear as he looked with interest at everyone else in the room. At almost the same moment Rolf pushed open the door from the kitchen carrying a cake. It was his habit now that whenever Emily and Joseph visited that he'd bring them coffee and cake which was exactly what he was doing right then. However, Rolf wasn't paying due attention to where he was walking and Johnny had left one of his toys just by the door and tripped on it, losing his balance.

There was this moment where everything happened in slow motion. The cake went up in the air, followed very quickly by Rolf's feet as he fell and landed flat on his back with a pained grunt. The cake having finished it's upward motion by then was now doing graceful somersaults through the air until it reached it's inevitable destination - Rolf's face… of course. There was a messy splatting sound as the heavily frosted cake made contact with Rolf's face and bits of cake and frosting scattered everywhere. Roger got a fright with the sudden noise and jumped from EJ's to Joseph's shoulder seeing as Joseph was further away from ground zero.

"Of course dear," said Emily sounding very serious but her twitching lips betrayed her as they all surveyed the carnage for a stunned moment, "Although you may want to consider cancelling the monkey and the clown if you're wanting to distance yourself from the whole circus thing."

EJ had to agree, Emily had a point there as he shook his head in resignation at this latest mini disaster.

"Ohh," groaned Rolf from underneath the cake, still on the floor.

"Oh Rolf," said Emily, getting up now with a shake of her head, "Are you alright?"

"Oh ya," said Rolf faintly, looking up at her through white frosting as she went to stand over him, "Zis iz nozing. I don't even zink I broke a rib."

"Good because I'm not taking you to the hospital again," said John, unfazed by Rolf being on the ground yet again.

"Oh don't be such a meanie beanie Black Bear," Joseph chided him, getting up along with EJ to check on Rolf as the older man still lay there on the ground.

Roger meanwhile had jumped off Joseph's shoulder and shimmied down so that he was on the ground with Rolf. He had then promptly planted himself faced down in the gooey, frosty mess that used to be Rolf's face and began licking and eating away happily.

"Don't let Roger do that!" said EJ in concern, going to retrieve Roger from Rolf's face.

"Relax Nephew," said John unconcerned, "He'll stop when he hits bone."

"Vat?" asked Rolf in sudden concern, all of the cake in his eyes preventing him from seeing what was going on, "Vat is happening, vat is Roger doing?!"

"The sugar is bad for him," said EJ with a roll of his eyes at John's remark and scooped a reluctant Roger up in his arms.

Clearly the little monkey had acquired a taste for Austrian flavoured cake even in a short amount of time.

"Don't let za Scheißer eat me!" exclaimed Rolf, sounding very worried now.

"No one is eating anyone!" said EJ in exasperation, bending down to help Rolf up, "Just calm down."

"I don't know," said John unhelpfully, "Once a monkey gets the taste of human flesh…"

"Uncle John," said EJ in exasperation as he helped Rolf up with one hand and tried to stop Roger from grabbing for more gooey delights, "You're being unhelpful again."

"But I still get to be Best Man right?" asked John, suddenly concerned.

"Yes," sighed EJ as he flicked frosting off his hand now that Rolf was upright again.

John gave a slow smile.

"Alright," he said and looked well pleased.

Emily shook her head at John and then looked at EJ.

"I'm trying to work out if you're incredibly brave or incredibly foolhardy dear boy," she told him with gentle amusement and EJ knew that she was talking about John.

"A little from column A, a little from column B Emily I think," admitted EJ ruefully.

"What does your dear girl say about all this?" asked Emily curiously.

"I haven't told her yet," admitted EJ with a sigh, watching as Joseph helped clean Rolf down now.

"May I recommend that you're either holding one of the twins or Roger when you do," suggested Emily sagely, "She's far less likely to do permanent physical damage that way."

"That Emily," said EJ, taking her suggestion very seriously, "Is quit possibly the smartest thing someone has said to me all day."

"Happy to help my dear," smiled Emily and gave him a little wink, "Happy to help."


	46. Chapter 46

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****: **Okay, we meet a new character today – Tracy. All I am going to say about him is that I based him on Justin Hartley for those of you who were "Passions" fans and he also plays Green Arrow on "Smallville". Tall, blonde and dishy as Joseph would say. Just have him in mind because he is going to become part of the gang now as well.

Oh and I don't know if I mentioned this or not but I'm picturing Eric being played by Jensen Ackles – the original grown up Eric Brady.

Hope you enjoy more fun and games at the DiMansion...

**Chapter FORTY SIX**

EJ walked through the front door of the mansion, briefcase in hand and checked his watch. It was nearly midday and he'd had a meeting cancel so he'd reorganised a few things and come home to spend the rest of the day with Sami and the twins. It was nearly two weeks after her surgery now and her progress had been slowed somewhat when she'd gotten a chest infection that she'd only recovered from only a few days ago and was just returning to full strength from that now.

It meant her physiotherapy had to be put on hold while she recovered from the chest infection and Sami had found the delay to be very frustrating so consequently she hadn't been in the best of moods lately. So EJ had decided to surprise her today and take her and the twins out for a picnic in the park. He was hoping it would help lift her mood a little, getting out of the house and into the fresh air seeing as being basically bed ridden and house bound was taking a toll on Sami's good humour somewhat.

"Uncle John," nodded EJ as he walked into the room to find John sitting at his desk and writing.

"Elvis," said John, not looking up.

"What are you doing?" asked EJ curiously, seeing how absorbed he was in what he was doing.

"Writing," said John flatly, still scribbling away.

EJ sighed heavily; he should know by now how to phrase these questions better.

"_What_ are you writing Uncle?" asked EJ, trying again.

"My speech for the wedding," John informed him.

"Really?" said EJ, suddenly interested now and took a few more steps into the room and tried to look at what John had already written.

"Ah ah," said John with a shake of his head, "You get to hear the speech when everyone else does – at the reception."

"Oh no," said EJ with a definite shake of his head, "There is no way that you're giving a speech that I haven't checked over beforehand Uncle John – there is just _no_ _way_!"

"Why?" frowned John, "Don't you trust me?"

"Uncle John," said EJ straight faced, "You can't possibly want me to answer that."

"You're a nervous guy Elvis," said John expressionlessly, looking up at him, "Has anyone ever told you that?"

"I wasn't nervous before I met you Uncle," said EJ dryly.

"Don't worry about the speech Nephew," said John calmly, "I'm not going to do anything to embarrass you – trust me."

EJ looked at John and realised that maybe John was right. At some point he just had to trust that John had learnt enough about this world and cared enough about he and Samantha that he was going to try really hard at getting this right. If EJ continued to veto and oversee every little thing that his uncle did then John was never going to be able to evolve and grow in his own right. Perhaps this was as good a time as any to show some faith in the man and maybe see that rewarded.

"Alright Uncle," said EJ, taking a deep breath, "I'll trust you."

"There you go," said John, obviously pleased, "That wasn't so hard was it?"

"I'll let you know after you've given the speech," said EJ wryly and then looked around, "Do you know where Samantha is Uncle John? I thought I'd take her and the twins out for a picnic."

"She's in the weights room," said John.

"By herself?" scowled EJ unhappily, "I've asked her repeatedly not to try and do any exercising by herself down there."

"Unclench Elvis," said John with a casual wave of his hand, "Tracy is with her."

"Oh," said EJ, relaxing slightly, "Samantha didn't tell me she was planning on having any physio today."

Tracy was the physio that had been coming to the house the last couple of weeks since Sami's chest infection had cleared up. EJ hadn't met the woman yet because he was always at work but Sami had been pleased with the progress she'd been making after the set back from the cold. She'd been managing on crutches before the infection but it had taken her until the last few days to get back on them again so EJ supposed the physio was doing some good which he was pleased about. What he wasn't so pleased about was how Sami seemed to be pushing herself so hard to get better. It made him nervous that she was going to overdo it and have another relapse.

"Is that a problem?" asked John, seeing the look on EJ's face.

"No," said EJ with a bit of a shrug, "I just don't want her to over do it – that's all. You'd think she was training for the Olympics with how hard she's being going at the physio thing lately. I just rather thought she'd have a day off from it today."

"Evidently not," said John evenly, going back to his speech writing.

"Well I suppose I should go and introduce myself," said EJ.

"You do that," nodded John, not looking up again as he scribbled away.

EJ gave John and the piece of paper he was working on one last worried look but decided to just let it go, I mean really, how bad could it be? EJ turned and headed out of the room but John stalled him before he got too far.

"Nephew!" he called out and EJ turned around and looked at him expectantly.

John frowned and looked down at his note pad and then back at EJ.

"Bare assed – two words or hyphenated?" he asked perfectly seriously.

EJ just looked back at him, lost for words, his hopes of having a wedding reception that didn't require him having to leave town afterwards pretty much dashed now.

"Clearly I have made a huge mistake," said EJ weakly and just turned around and kept walking, having no idea how to stuff that particular genie back in the bottle.

"So does that mean you don't know?" called out John after him as he disappeared out of the doorway and headed down to the basement where the home gym was set up.

John pursed his lips and looked back down at his speech thoughtfully.

"I'll split the difference," he mused to himself, "I'll spell it with two words but pronounce it as though it's hyphenated – that should cover my bases I think."

EJ made his way down to the gym pondering the fact that he still hadn't quite worked out how to break the news to Sami yet about John being best man. It just never seemed to be the right time. Mind you was there ever a right time to put your testicles in a door way and slam the door shut? That seemed a pretty rhetorical question really. For the first time EJ was a bit sad that Sami had weaned herself off the painkillers. If any conversation called for his wife to be sedated it was going to be that one!

EJ walked down the corridor of the underground labyrinth that was what should have been the basement space of the DiMera mansion which instead housed several little antechambers that ranged from uses of tampering with the laws of nature i.e. the laboratory where John was resurrected and his memories wiped clean and horticulture. Rolf had started a mushroom farm in one of the other rooms. EJ had gone down and had a very close look at what kind of mushrooms he was growing and after being satisfied that everything was above board he'd left him to it.

Rolf had also set up a photography dark room in another room. It turned out when he wasn't brain washing people and doing the will of a megalomaniac he was quite artistic. Again EJ had checked on what the subject of Rolf's foray into photography but he seemed to favour nature pictures - flowers and yes, even the occasion giant bird. Sometimes he felt like he was the chief warden in a prison, keeping tabs on all the inmates. EJ tried to be discreet about it so that people like John and Rolf wouldn't think that he was checking up on them… even though that was exactly what he was doing.

Fore warned was fore armed after all.

EJ came to the end of the hallway where the door to the home gym was set up. Like everything in the mansion it was on a grandiose scheme. It was like actually being at a gym seeing as it had every conceivable piece of equipment you could need and sometimes more than one. There were four treadmills and several resistance training machines along with stair masters, weight benches - the whole thing. The funny thing was that no one had even known this was down here for the first few months so he and Sami had continued to go to the Salem Health Club. That was pretty unnecessary nowadays although EJ wouldn't have exchanged those stolen minutes in the sauna for anything in the world. That had been totally worth the price of gym membership right there! And the memory of Sami falling off the treadmill following their first night of proper lovemaking after she got a 'cramp'.

Oh how that memory kept him warm at night, especially nowadays.

When Sami had gotten that chest infection, listening to her having to struggle for her next breath had not helped him with his night terrors. EJ was beginning to think he should talk to someone about it but he wasn't sure who. Marlena was an obvious choice and he'd also toyed with ringing his brother Tony. After all Tony had offered him wise counsel before today. John did not seem the best man to go to somehow, not knowing if he'd understand the complexities of the problem. But EJ kept putting it off because he felt like it was something he should be able to handle himself. He knew it was just all in his head. He wanted Samantha as much as he ever had, more in fact than ever and EJ was just hoping that as time went by that desire for her would eclipse the memory of losing her for those awful seven minutes. EJ put a hand to the gym door and went to push on it when he heard a strangled groan from inside.

"Oh god… you're killing me Tracy!"

Sami's breathless complaint made EJ smile and shake his head. It looked like Tracy was really putting her through her paces. Maybe now she'd listen to him and take a day off from the physiotherapy sessions.

"You asked for this so now you're just going to have to take it Sami."

EJ's head shot up so fast that there was practically an audible snapping sound as he heard the male voice answer and then give a deep chuckle.

What the hell was this?!!

EJ pushed on the door and practically leapt through it, startling both of the people in the room. Sami was on a weight's bench on her back while a broad shouldered blonde haired man had her injured leg up in the air and was pressing it back towards her face. If EJ had been in a more rational frame of mind he would have perhaps realised that it was stretching exercise for Sami's shortened leg but all EJ saw was some man with his hands all over his wife.

"EJ!" said Sami in surprise, turning her head to look up at him as she lay on the bench, "What are you doing home?"

"A meeting cancelled," said EJ distractedly, his gaze fixed on the man who incidentally still had his hands all over Sami's thigh.

EJ stuck out his hand and gave a particularly bright smile.

"I don't believe we've met," said EJ as the other man finally let go of Sami which was lucky for him because another two seconds and EJ would have just punched him out and been done with it, "EJ DiMera… Samantha's husband."

"Hi," said the blonde man easily and smiled at EJ, "Tracy Spencer, I'm Sami's physiotherapist."

"Oh you're Tracy," said EJ with an arch of an eyebrow, "Samantha has spoken of you. That's an interesting name you've got their Tracy."

"Yeah," laughed Tracy good naturedly, "My Mom was a huge Spencer Tracy fan so where I was a boy or a girl it was going to be Tracy with a last name like Spencer!"

"You were lucky," grinned Sami, sitting up now and wiping away some sweat from her forehead, "Imagine if she was a Bridgette Bardot fan. That would have been way harder to pull off!"

Tracy chuckled out loud and Sami joined in and EJ scowled to see the easy rapport they had. Why the hell hadn't he known about Tracy being a man all this time?! He thought back on he and Sami's conversations about her physiotherapist and was sure there hadn't been anytime she'd referenced Tracy as a 'he' rather than a 'she'. EJ was pretty confident he would have noticed if she had. This whole time Sami had been spending hours with some other man getting up close and personal and EJ had been completely oblivious. It wasn't like he didn't trust Sami or anything but EJ just liked to know who was circling in his wife's orbit. After all the last two cases - Chris and Guy had not gone overly well and EJ just felt the need to keep tabs on these kinds of things.

"You know," said EJ, interrupting Tracy and Sami's friendly banter, "I was thinking that I'd take my wife and our children on a picnic in the park."

EJ made a subtle but definite emphasis on the words 'my wife' and 'our children' for Tracy's benefit but if the other man noticed he didn't show it.

"How does that sound sweetheart?" asked EJ and gave Sami his best knee weakening smile and was pleased when her face lit up.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea honey," she said with an enthusiastic nod.

Roger made a chat-chat noise, suddenly joining in on the conversation and EJ turned his head, noticing the little monkey for the first time. He was sitting on the saddle of one of the exercise bikes casually watching the goings on.

"You can come too Roger," said Sami with an affectionate smile at him and then as an aside to Tracy, "He likes the monkey bars in the park."

"Well he would wouldn't he," laughed Tracy in amusement, watching as Roger scampered over to Sami and climbed up into her arms.

Sami giggled at Tracy's little joke and EJ frowned again. He looked Tracy up and down, sizing him up. He was tall, almost as tall as EJ was in fact, only maybe an inch or so off so EJ could look him in the eye which was a bit of a rarity for him being 6ft 4'. Tracy also had a similar body type to EJ, broad shouldered, long waisted and EJ suddenly hoped Sami didn't have a type. Although thinking back to Lucas, probably not so much. The other man had a face that EJ supposed could be called handsome and he seemed pleasant enough but he was reserving judgement until he worked out Tracy's interest in Sami - whether it was strictly professional or not.

"So should we show EJ your surprise?" asked Tracy with an impish wink at Sami.

"Another one," said EJ dryly and Sami gave him a confused look so he smiled determinedly for her, "So what's the surprise darling?"

"Here," Sami passed Roger on to EJ and EJ popped him in the crook of his elbow and looked expectantly at Sami.

Tracy meanwhile had retrieved a walking stick from over in the corner and handed it to Sami who then carefully stood up, using the stick to balance. She grinned up at EJ and then began to slowly walk up to where EJ was standing. She was still leaning heavily on it but she was walking without the crutches now.

"Samantha!" said EJ in delight, "Sweetheart that's wonderful - look at you!"

"I know," smiled Tracy, looking proudly at his patient, "Sami's worked really hard and it shows. I really didn't think she'd be making this sort of progress in such a short amount of time."

"And I told him that I was going to be walking by the end of the week and that he wasn't the boss of me!" said Sami triumphantly and leaned up and gave EJ a celebratory kiss.

"That's my girl," said EJ, smiling down at Sami.

"You're wife certainly knows her own mind EJ," agreed Tracy with a grin.

Okay, Tracy got brownie points for this EJ decided but he wasn't off the hook yet - not by a long shot.

"Come on," said Sami, "Let's go upstairs, the twins will be up soon and then we can go on our picnic EJ. How does that sound?"

"You're finished your session?" asked EJ evenly, looking over at Tracy.

"Yup," the other man nodded.

"Come upstairs and have a drink," Sami urged him, "Before you go Tracy."

"Indeed," nodded EJ with a calm smile, "It will give me the opportunity to get to know you a little better Tracy."

"That would be great," Tracy nodded his acceptance.

They all started to move on out of the room, EJ still holding Roger when his cell phone rang.

"I'll catch you up," he told the other two as he answered the call.

It was the office and he spent a few minutes talking to one of his clients before hanging up and making his way out of the gym as well. EJ looked up at Roger who had now climbed up on his shoulder.

"How could you let this happen Roger?" asked EJ in annoyance as he walked along, "You're meant to be watching out for Samantha - not letting every Tom, Dick and Harry… or Tracy for that matter put his hands all over her! I thought you had my back Roger. I can't tell you how disappointed I am in you."

Roger looked suitably chagrined at EJ's censure and nuzzled against EJ's neck and looked up at him pleadingly.

"Alright," said EJ relenting, "You have a chance to redeem yourself. From now on you're not to let Tracy anywhere near Samantha alright?"

Roger arched both eyebrows at this new instruction and gave a series of furious chitting sounds and EJ rolled his eyes.

"Well I don't know," he said in exasperation, "You're a smart monkey - you'll figure something out."

EJ pursed his lips and thought for a moment and then looked back and up at Roger on his shoulder.

"I suppose we should draw the line at actually biting him," pondered EJ very seriously, "We don't want him complaining to animal control or anything now do we eh?"

Roger gave an emphatic series of nods at that and made a clicking noise in agreement.

"Although," continued on EJ, completely caught up in the idea now, "If you should happen to find yourself in the possession of some faeces do not be afraid to fling it."

Roger just gave EJ an unimpressed look then as though the very suggestion of such a thing was beneath him.

"Oh please," sniffed EJ when he saw the look, "I saw you pull something out of your toenail this morning and eat it. Don't come the high ground with me Roger. And besides - if you do this for me there is cake in it for you."

Roger clapped his hands at that, knowing the word 'cake' now and he jumped up and down on EJ's shoulder excitedly.

"And if you make him cry I'll even let you eat it off Rolf," EJ further upped the ante for the little monkey.

EJ turned a corner now and started to climb the stairs up to the ground floor. He was just about at the top when he thought about what he'd just done and froze. He'd been plotting with a monkey to take out the competition regarding Samantha.

Oh my god - he'd slipped over to the dark side without even realising it!

EJ looked around himself and up at Roger and then gave a fatalistic shrug. It was bound to happen eventually and really - it wasn't as bad as he'd thought it would be, quite peaceful really. EJ walked into the living room to find Tracy and John but no Sami.

"Ali and Johnny woke up," supplied Tracy when he saw EJ looking around.

"Oh," said EJ and then looked at John, "Uncle John have you met Tracy yet?"

"Of course," John nodded at the man, "Hey."

EJ blew out an exasperated breath wondering why on earth he hadn't mentioned to him that Tracy was a man if that was the case.

"I see you're into wedding movies," smiled Tracy, going over to where there was a pile of DVD's stacked up on top of each other on the coffee table.

"It's research," John informed him, "I'm Best Man at his and the wild cat's upcoming wedding."

"Oh," said Tracy in surprise, "I thought you were already married."

"We are," said EJ quickly, "Samantha and I are married, for over a year now in fact. Oh yes, we're definitely married alright. That's why I'm her husband and she's my wife… because we're married."

"I think Tracy gets it Nephew," said John wryly, "You and the wild cat are married."

"Yes well," said EJ feeling a little foolish at the way he'd gone about that, "We're renewing our wedding vows Tracy. Our first wedding was a little umm…"

"Bloody?" suggest John helpfully.

"Bloody?" repeated Tracy in amazement.

"He got shot," John informed him.

"Man, really?" asked Tracy wide eyed, "Wow - that's terrible! Did they catch who did it?"

"Yup," nodded John, obviously in quite the chatty mood, "It was Sami's first husband."

"Wow!" repeated Tracy, taken aback and shook his head, "I mean you read about that kind of thing in the papers and on TV but I've never met anyone that has had something like that happen to them."

"Yes it was quite memorable," admitted EJ wryly.

"I thought you told me you couldn't remember anything," said John, looking at EJ quizzically.

"I can't Uncle John," sighed EJ, "I meant that as an observation only."

"Well a second wedding definitely sounds like a good idea then," nodded Tracy, still a little stunned by these latest revelations.

"I'll agree with that," said Sami with a smile as she walked in still leaning on her walking stick heavily but doing quite well regardless.

The twins toddled on in front of her, having just walked down the stairs themselves under mommy's watchful eye. They rushed into the room and excitedly threw themselves into EJ's arms.

"Dadda, dadda, dadda!"

EJ laughed and hugged them both, thinking he would never tire of the way his children greeted him and hoped it would be this way forever - even when they were grown up he hoped they would still be this excited to see him. He cuddled and kissed them both and stopped them from grabbing at Roger who was still on his shoulder. Now that they had gotten used to walking they didn't want to be picked up though, preferring to make their own way into the room. They spied John and immediately rushed over to him as well, going as fast as their little legs would carry them. This was the first time they'd seen him today because John hadn't been at breakfast and they just adored John and would give him just as an enthusiastic greeting as they did for Mom and Dad and Grandma.

"Great… great… great!" they chorused as they ran to him, ending up clinging to a leg each.

EJ had always referred to John to the twins as Great Uncle John which was what he was of course and it was slightly easier and less confusing than Step Grandfather. The twins had picked up on this and just shortened it to a much simpler again 'Great' so that was how they referred to him nowadays… simply as 'Great'. It somehow seemed fitting and it was very cute besides.

"Those babies of yours are as cute as a button Sami," smiled Tracy, watching their antics.

"Are buttons considered cute?" asked John seriously as he patted the tops of Ali's and Johnny's heads as they clung to him.

"Um… I never thought about it," admitted Tracy looking a little bemused, "Now that you mention it I don't know how that saying came about."

"I think because buttons are small and therefore there is an implication of cute things being small," suggested EJ, walking over to the bowl of fruit on the coffee table and handing Roger a grape.

Johnny and Ali saw this and promptly toddled over to their father demanding the same.

"So what is with all the wedding DVD's?" asked Sami with a bit of a frown as she limped into the room, still using her walking stick and looking at the pile of DVD's that Tracy had commented on earlier but she'd missed that of course.

"Research," John supplied happily, "For your wedding."

"What kind of research do you need to do John?" asked Sami in confusion, "You're a wedding guest - you come to the wedding, be quiet through the service and then eat with a fork and knife at the reception. It isn't that hard."

EJ's eyes widened, it was like watching a terrible car crash about to happen and not being able to do anything about it. This was _not_ the way he wanted Sami to find out about John's involvement in the wedding and he opened his mouth to swiftly change topic but he was too late.

"Yeah well now that I'm Best Man," began John.

"What do you mean John?" asked Sami slowly, his words not quite computing yet.

"I'm Elvis' best man," announced John happily.

"What… how… when… why…?" Sami tried to pick one question to ask first.

She looked at EJ in growing horror who rather felt like a deer caught in the head lights at this particular point in time.

"EJ," said sharply, "Do you know about this?"

"Of course he knows about it," said John blithely, "He asked me!"

"_Why_ would you do something like that?" asked Sami, her voice low and so controlled sounding that it was scary.

Roger jumped down from EJ's shoulder and went and scampered over to John, climbing up him and perching himself on John's shoulder. Like a rat deserting a sinking ship thought EJ darkly as he watched the little monkey abandon him. EJ bent down and quickly scooped up Ali into his arms remembering Emily's good advice and gave Sami a bright smile.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time sweetheart," said EJ brightly and then giving her his most reassuring look, "It's going to be fine."

"Do you know what else seems like a good idea right now?" bit out Sami, her cheeks flushing pink now with her annoyance at EJ, "Cutting your head off and having it on a spike in the front garden!"

EJ grimaced and wondered if he should start hiding all the sporks in the house.

"I can't believe you'd do something like this without consulting with me?!" said Sami hotly and then gave him an accusing look, "Do you want this wedding to be a disaster? Is that it?!"

EJ pursed his lips and then quickly bent down and picked up Johnny so that he had both twins in his arms. Clearly he was going to be requiring a full set of twins for protection judging by the look on Sami's face. Roger must have been feeling bad about deserting him before because he climbed back off John and returned to EJ's shoulder, much to the twins delight.

"Darling," said EJ earnestly, "John is my uncle…"

"He's also the man that thought it would be perfectly alright to buy a tank," snapped Sami, interrupting him.

"Whoa!" said Tracy in surprise, "Really? What, like an army tank you mean?"

"It was on special," nodded John, as though that explained everything.

John then frowned at Sami.

"What's the problem here wild cat?" he asked her, looking a little put out, "You asked me to walk you down the aisle before the dates changed for the wedding."

"Walking me down the aisle has limited ways you can create havoc John," said Sami heatedly, too upset to make that more delicate, "Now that you're Best Man there's looking after the rings, speeches…"

"Batchelor party," inserted Tracy helpfully when Sami floundered a little finding more tasks for the best man.

EJ gave an inward groan. It was bad enough John knew he had to give a speech. A bachelor party organised by John would most likely be the death of him… providing he survived Samantha's wrath of course. EJ glared at the other man in annoyance at his interference.

"I've changed my mind Roger," he muttered to the little monkey under his breath, "You _can_ bite him! Don't worry, I'll sort it with Animal Control."

"A what?" asked John, suddenly looking interested, "Explain?"

"It's a party that the Best Man throws for the bachelor," explained Tracy, oblivious to the destruction he was unleashing on the world, or at least EJ's world.

"Oh no," said Sami with a shake of her head before EJ could even answer for himself, "I want EJ in one piece for this wedding - not in jail or hospital or another country!"

"Is that usually what happens at one of these shin digs?" asked John, greatly intrigued now.

Tracy realised now that he might have put his foot in it somewhat judging by the looks on Sami and EJ's faces and tried to help out.

"Although now that I think about it," said Tracy quickly, "EJ isn't exactly a bachelor as he's already married so I guess that cancels that out."

Alright… okay, maybe he wouldn't set Roger on the other man now that he'd redeemed himself with that last part EJ decided but the look on John's face told him they weren't out of the woods yet.

"Well I'd better get going," said Tracy with a little grimacing laugh at what he'd inadvertently set off, "Sami, I'll see you tomorrow again?"

"Yes," nodded Sami, trying to remember her manners despite her annoyance with EJ, "That sounds good Tracy, see you then."

"And EJ," said Tracy with a sympathetic hand on the other man's shoulder as he went past, "Ahh, good luck… and I'll notify the relevant authorities if I don't see you around for a little while."

"Don't bother," sighed EJ despondently, "Samantha's entire family and extended family practically run the Salem PD - you'd best head straight to the FBI if you're trying to find my body."

"Don't be ridiculous EJ," said Sami sweetly, "There isn't going to be _enough_ of your body for anyone to ever find!"

"Oh," said John very seriously, "I may be able to help you out with that wild cat."

"I just want to remind everyone that I am holding small children in my arms," said EJ giving his uncle a warning look at that last statement.

Roger gave a little chit chit sound at that and EJ apologised.

"Sorry Roger," he continued on smoothly, "And Roger, so let's just all calm down about the threats of physical violence eh?"

"You have to put the twins down sometime," said Sami noted with a deadly smile.

"Well I hate the sight of blood," said Tracy, clearly amused by all the drama and completely unfazed, "Especially if there is a chance it might be mine so as I said, I'm outta here."

Tracy took his leave then and Sami continued to stare daggers at EJ. EJ moved the twins more comfortably in his arms and gave his best charming smile.

"Now darling," he cajoled her, "Let's not make a mountain out of a mole hill here. This is not the end of the world and Uncle John has promised me that he is going to do his very best to be ahh… Best Man."

"About that Nephew," mused John, "Are you sure we can't change the title to Super Man? I kind of like the sound of that better."

Sami just looked at EJ challengingly at that and EJ grimaced. Clearly he wasn't going to be able to talk his way out of this whilst John was still in the room. The door bell rang then and EJ blew out a sigh of relief.

"I'll get it," he volunteered happily.

"You'll have to put the twins down," noted Sami and her expression seemed to indicate she was waiting for him to do just that.

"Oh," said EJ, looking at the twins he had propped up in both arms, "Ahh… ROLF!"

"Ya, ya," said Rolf as he walked into the room from the kitchen, "I'm not deaf you know Elvis."

Rolf looked at the angry face of Sami and the tense expression on EJ's and decided he should just keep on walking. He got to the door and Joseph was there, dressed in his gym clothes.

"Oh hello Rolfy honey," he said and breezed past the other man.

Joseph walked straight on through to the living room and kind of did a little triumphant flourishing wave at everyone.

"Oh hello all," he said all bright and bubbly, "I was in the neighbourhood and found myself dressed in gym clothes for some reason and thought I'd just drop in and…"

"Tracy's been and gone already Joe," Sami interrupted him dryly.

"Oh," said Joseph, sounding suddenly deflated and promptly stopped sucking his stomach in with a grateful sigh.

"We rescheduled and he came a little earlier today," Sami informed him, smiling despite herself at Joseph's transparent attempts to impress the good looking physiotherapist.

"You should have called me kitten," pouted Joseph, looking quite despondent now, "I've would have 'been in the neighbourhood' earlier if you know what I mean."

"Sorry," smiled Sami, finding it hard to maintain her annoyance with EJ now.

"So you knew Tracy was a man too?" asked EJ in amazement.

"And how," sighed Joseph with a dreamy look on his face as he obviously visualised the tall, good looking blonde man in his head.

Damn it! Was he the only one in the world that hadn't known about Tracy wondered EJ returning to his earlier vexation now that it looked like Sami wasn't going to eviscerate him where he stood. Had there been some newsletter sent out that he simply hadn't gotten? The only thing saving this situation from being a complete disaster was that EJ hadn't picked up any kind of vibe from Tracy in regards to Sami except for friendship. EJ's radar was pretty sensitised regarding these kinds of things so at least that was one less thing to worry about. EJ was suddenly worried though. What else didn't he know about when it came to Samantha?

_As it turned out, that question was going to be quickly answered in the next week as Samantha caught him by surprise yet again._


	47. Chapter 47

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****: **Don't think I've mentioned this either but I picture Emily, who is in this chapter, as Jane Seymour – Dr Quinn Medicine Woman – for those of you who remember back that far and a lot more besides. She is such a poised, elegant woman and I thought fitted Emily's unflappable and rather impish ways perfectly. Interestingly enough she played Jensen Ackles (my Eric) mum on "Smallville" which made it easy for me to screen cap them together over at "Forbidden Love" where this story is illustrated. LOL

Hope you have fun with this one – Uncle John is at it again, bless him... ;)

**Chapter FORTY SEVEN**

Sami stood in the foyer and watched as EJ packed his brief case ready to leave for work for the day. It was now just over a week since Sami had stopped using the crutches and now didn't even need the walking stick although by the end of the day her leg was getting pretty sore but it was improving every day.

"Have you got everything?" she asked him with a smile, seeing him check over everything one last time.

"I do believe I have," nodded EJ and smiled back at her, closing the case up.

"Will you be late home tonight?" she asked wistfully, coming up beside him and putting her arm around his waist and giving him a hug.

"No," he said with a little shake of his head and wrapped his arms around her, "I'd miss my girl too much if I did."

"Really?" asked Sami a little hopefully.

"Of course," he frowned at her question, "How can you ask me that Samantha?"

"I don't know," she shrugged and hugged him, putting her cheek against his chest and squeezing him tightly.

She did know actually but she just didn't want to say. Ever since her accident, though he'd remained affectionate and loving towards her, EJ seemed to be stalling things going any further between them. Sami could understand that in the first couple of weeks but it had been over three weeks now and EJ didn't seem to be in any rush to return to there former intimacy. That puzzled Samantha because the one thing she'd never had to worry about was EJ's desire for her but now she was worried. All her old insecurities reared their ugly heads and whispered to her with ever increasing frequency.

Maybe EJ just didn't want her anymore. After all it wasn't exactly a sexy thing to see your wife in hospital and then there was the scar above her knee which doctors said would fade but it still looked pretty confronting - hardly the a turn on for any man. Then she'd been hobbling around on crutches and that too was not exactly a fantasy come true. Sami hugged EJ tighter, hating the thought that EJ may not want her anymore, in fact it made her want to burst into tears. She knew they needed to talk about this but she was so frightened that he'd confirm all her darkest fears that she just couldn't bring herself to start the conversation. EJ felt how tightly she was holding on to him and pulled back, looking down at her. He cupped her head with both hands, sliding his fingers through her soft blonde hair and tilted her head, making her meet his concerned gaze.

"Are you alright sweetheart?" he worried over her, "Maybe you should just take it easy today. Why don't you call Tracy and cancel your session for today?"

"No," she said with a shake of her head, "I want to keep the physio up."

"That doesn't have anything to do with your physiotherapist being so good looking now does it?" asked EJ, only half joking about that.

"I only have eyes for you EJ," said Sami earnestly, looking up at him with a frown, "You know that right?"

"Of course I do darling," said EJ quickly, seeing the concern in her eyes and then gave her an impish grin, "Besides, you'd have to get through Joseph to get to Tracy and I really don't like your chances there."

"Joe has taken a shine to him," agreed Sami with a half smile.

Sami's eyes looked over every line and feature on EJ's face and just felt this unbearable amount of love well up in her for him.

"I love you EJ," she said softly.

EJ's face soften even more at her declaration and he smiled tenderly down at her.

"I love you Samantha," he told her quietly but with such certainty in his voice that her fears were momentarily quelled.

She went up on her tippy toes using her good leg and kissed him then. The kiss was soft and tender but Sami quickly pressed for more, her tongue running along his bottom lip, requesting entry. She felt EJ's grip on her head tighten a little as his tongue flicked out and met hers and she wanted more instantly, needing him to kiss her like he used to - full of hunger and need. She pressed herself against him and for the a brief moment she felt him respond to her and her heart soared but then all too soon EJ was pulling away from her. Sami tried to hide her disappointment and smiled determinedly up at him.

"I'll ring you from work sweetheart," he told her, looking down at her with so much love it was breath taking and she bit her lip as he pressed a hard kiss to her forehead before drawing her closer for a final hug and pressed another kiss to the top of her head.

"Okay," said Sami and smiled brightly as he let her go, picking up his briefcase.

She watched as he went into say goodbye to the twins, kissing them both goodbye, even giving Roger a goodbye pat as well. Roger and the twins were playing blocks together at John's feet while he sat on the sofa reading his morning newspaper. The little monkey would stack up the blocks as high as he could go and then the twins would have great delight in knocking them down again. It was quite funny to watch them. Sami was needing Roger less and less these days and she was beginning to worry that it was time to return him and she hated the thought of that, having grown very attached to him over the last weeks. EJ walked back out into the foyer where Sami was still standing and gave her another brief kiss.

"Make sure you get some rest today," he cautioned her and with a final smile he was gone.

Sami sighed heavily after he'd left, she'd run out of ways to tell EJ that she was alright now. Not perhaps quite as nimble as she used to be but she also wasn't the delicate piece of glass that he seemed intent on making her out to be as well. It was just so frustrating. Sami wanted her husband and not just as a warm body in the bed beside her which half the time she'd wake up to find that he was gone anyway. She wanted the husband back that couldn't keep his hands off her, that would sneak kisses from her whenever he could and she would catch him a hundred times a day shamelessly ogling her breasts when he thought she wasn't looking. Sami sighed deeply again and turned around, walking back into the living room where Roger and the twins were playing together and was proud that she didn't even have a noticeable limp as she did.

"John!" she said with a strangled gasp when she walked into the room, "What are you doing?!"

John looked up at her and arched an eyebrow at her.

"It's feeding time at the zoo," said John straight faced and Sami gave a gasp of horror.

John had Ali, Johnny and Roger all lined up and he was feeding them all some nibblies… from Roger's feed bag.

"That's Roger's food!" exclaimed Sami, grimacing as both Ali and Johnny turned to her with their mouths full of the nibblets, chewing away happily.

"He doesn't mind sharing," said John calmly and handed another piece to Johnny who immediately shoved it in his mouth and then to Roger who had politely held out his hand.

"I mind John!" said Sami, moving towards the twins, intent on fishing out the remnants of monkey food from their mouths, "That stuff isn't meant for babies John!"

"It's 100% organic, preservative free," said John reasonably, "I checked it out. Besides, Roger eats Boy and Girl Baby's food so it only seems fair."

"Well Roger shouldn't be eating their food either!" said Sami with a roll of her eyes as she did her best to retrieve the globby remains of the nibbles.

Neither twins was being particularly helpful, pulling their heads out of Sami's reach and starting to grizzle unhappily as their mother determinedly attempted to scoop out great wads of mushed up monkey meal from their mouths.

"How long have you been doing this for John?" asked Sami in agitation, grimacing as she saw Ali swallow the last of her food before she could get to it.

"I don't know," shrugged John, watching in bemusement as Sami fussed, having no idea what her problem was, "How long have we had Roger now?"

"You've done this from the beginning?" asked Sami in wide eyed horror.

"I didn't want to play favourites," shrugged John, "It didn't seem right."

"Don't feed my children monkey food John!" exclaimed Sami, giving up on trying to reason with him and just laying down the law.

John just rolled his eyes and seemed unconcerned with her censure.

"You weren't this uptight when I was feeding them the peacock food," noted John flatly.

"You did what?!" said Sami loudly, making the twins start a little.

"Oh," said John straight faced, "You didn't know about that… in that case just pretend I didn't say anything."

"JOHN!" groaned Sami in despair and shook her head.

**oooOOOOooo**

A few hours later Emily had dropped by for a visit and she was now nodding her head as she listened to Sami, walking round to join her on the sofa. The twins were playing at their feet whilst Emily and Sami took morning tea together and Roger was playing happily with them. Sami was regaling Emily with her latest John stories and Emily as always was listening patiently as she let off some steam.

"… and then I come in this morning to find him feeding my babies monkey food!" exclaimed Sami with a hopeless shake of her head, "And EJ keeps telling me that it's going to be fine with John being the best man at the wedding!"

Sami blew out a despondent breath and rested her elbow on the arm rest and put her chin in her hand and made an unhappy face.

"This wedding is going to be a disaster of biblical proportions Emily!" she fretted.

"Sami dear," said Emily, putting down her cup of tea and looking at the younger woman intently now, "Is there something the matter?"

"I just said," said Sami with a bit of a frown, "John was…"

"No," interrupted Emily gently, "There is nothing new in John being a little…"

"Crazy, insane, bizarre?" filled in Sami sweetly.

"I was going to say singular," said Emily with a little laugh and then gave Sami a compassionate look, "But there is something else isn't there dear? Something else that you're worried about?"

Sami leant back in her chair and bit her lip uncertainly. She kind of felt like she should be talking to her mom about this but Marlena was so busy nowadays and she had her hands full because John had decided to start wooing her again which was a full time job just there trying to handle that! Besides, Emily had been a good friend to her and EJ ever since they'd first met her and she was a smart lady.

"It's EJ," said Sami softly and then had to bite down on her lip harder as she felt the tears begin to well up unexpectedly, "Or rather it's me."

"What's you dear?" asked Emily kindly, going to her purse and pulling out a dainty handkerchief for Sami.

It reminded her of a smaller version of one of EJ's that he always carried and it made her feel sadder somehow. She took the offered item though and dabbed her eyes with it.

"Sorry," she mumbled, feeling foolish, "I'm a bit over emotional these days… I'm being stupid Emily."

"Of all the things you are Samantha DiMera," said Emily firmly, "Stupid is definitely not one of them. So enough of this kind of talk - I won't hear anyone talk ill of you Sami… not even you!"

Sami gave a little laugh at that and Emily smiled back. She patted Sami's knee and gave an encouraging nod to her.

"So what's my dear boy done to upset you hmm?" she asked calmly.

"It's what he hasn't done more like it," grumbled Sami a little, twisting the little handkerchief in her hands now.

"Meaning?" pressed Emily although she had a fair idea what Sami might be referring to.

"Ever since the accident…" began Sami haltingly, "I mean, don't get me wrong. EJ's been fantastic… amazing in fact. He's just been there for me through the whole thing and hasn't faltered once. He's picked up the slack with Ali and Johnny while I couldn't get around and he's always looking out for me and concerned."

"He does love you," nodded Emily with a soft smile at having seen EJ's devotion to Sami first hand.

"And I love him Emily," said Sami urgently, "So much."

"I don't think that's ever been called into question for either of you," noted Emily and then gave Sami a considered look, "But…?"

"But I'm so much better now," sighed Sami, caught between sadness and frustration, "But EJ just keeps on treating me like I'm going to shatter into a thousand pieces at any moment. I feel like he thinks I'll break or something if he hugs me too tight. I try and tell him that I'm okay now but he just doesn't seem to be taking it in."

"EJ had a terrible fright that night when he almost lost you," commented Emily, trying to put it in perspective for the younger woman, "I think he just really needs to know that you're going to be alright again."

"I know Emily and I mean it's lovely that he's so concerned about me and all but…" trailed off Sami in frustration.

"But you just want to get laid," finished Emily sympathetically.

"Emily!" said Sami in shock, a blush heating her cheeks as she glanced over at the children who were oblivious to the discussion now as they had Roger in one of Johnny's big trucks and were taking turns in pushing him around.

The older woman just arched a knowing eyebrow at her and Sami grimaced.

"Yes," she admitted reluctantly and looked down at her hands.

She looked up at Emily then, clearly distressed as she admitted her deepest fears to the other woman.

"I don't think EJ wants me anymore Emily," Sami confessed to her and more tears welled up in her eyes, "I think after the surgery and everything EJ just doesn't find me physically attractive anymore."

"Well that's complete bull crap if I ever heard it Samantha," said Emily flatly, taking Sami aback a little with the force of her statement, "And believe me, I've heard my fair share of it over the years so I know of what I speak."

Sami looked at Emily in surprise and she continued on blithely.

"That man of you looks at you like you're the last slice of bacon on his plate before he goes off to fat camp," said Emily knowingly, "He can't take his eyes off you Sami - EJ wants you as much as he ever has."

"Then why won't he…" Sami shot a quick look at the twins then and looked a little embarrassed, "… you know? I mean, it has to be something about me right?"

"Oh honey," said Emily, "I just think that EJ is still a little traumatised by what happened to you. You and those babies are his whole world and you were almost taken from him in a rather brutal way that night and by the hands of his own father. The same father that turns up dead no less the next day or so. It's a lot for anyone to process… even an indomitable DiMera."

"But I keep telling him I'm okay Emily," said Sami in frustration, "I'm standing right there and he can see it for himself. I mean I understand that this had been a lot for EJ to deal with and I want to support him in that but I don't know what else to do to stop him fretting over me like he does."

"Are you familiar with the expression - 'actions speak louder than words'?" asked Emily evenly, seeing her dissatisfaction and wanting to help.

"Of course," shrugged Sami.

"That man of yours worships the very ground you walk on Sami," said Emily knowingly, "Perhaps he just needs a little reminder as to why that is."

"What do you mean Emily?" asked Sami with a frown.

"I think it's time EJ was given a demonstration of the power you have over him," said Emily with a littlest smirk on her face, "Seduce him."

"Seduce him?" repeated Sami with the beginnings of a smile as she started to realise what Emily was getting at.

"I'm sure by now you know how to turn that man of yours to putty in your hands," said Emily with a smug look and then gave Sami a teasing wink, "All except one for one important part of his anatomy of course."

"Emily!" laughed Sami and shook her head at the other woman's naughtiness.

"Sami honey," said Emily with a self satisfied look on her face, "My husband and I were married for 41 glorious years. We loved, we fought, we laughed and we screwed each others brains out the entire time. Harry had buns so tight that you could bounce a quarter off them. Something by the way I heartily recommend if you're looking to add a little fun in the bedroom. It's surprising where that can end up."

"Emily!" said Sami, more in amusement than any real shock.

She could so picture that somehow and was sad that she'd never get to meet Harry, somehow she just knew he'd be as much fun as Emily was herself.

"And I could want nothing less than that kind of relationship for you and EJ," continued on Emily unconcerned, "In fact I won't stand for it! You go out there and go get that man of yours, kicking and screaming if necessary and remind him that you're a woman and he's a man and that if he doesn't get his act together he might well lose you!"

"EJ's not going to lose me!" said Sami in horrified at the very thought of that but amused by Emily's earlier statements.

"Oh of course he's not," said Emily blithely and then gave Sami a knowing smile, "But it never hurts to let him think he might every now and then… keep him on his toes as it were. Trust me darling - a man like EJ enjoys the thrill of the chase and I heartily recommend that you don't make his life too easy at any point my dear. That man thrives on a challenge and if anyone can be a handful I'm confident it's you."

Emily wasn't telling Sami anything she didn't know about her husband but somehow it was so good to be reminded of it. A proper smile broke across Sami's face for the first time in a long time as she felt a resurgence of confidence in herself as a woman. Sami never felt more alive than when she was scheming and the knowing look on Emily's face told her that she knew that.

"So my dear girl," said Emily calmly, picking up her tea again along with a cookie that Rolf had laid out for them, "We've got some serious plotting to do here now I feel. What can we come up with to bring EJ to his knees do you think?"

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ looked up from where he was writing some notes in his office across town as a sudden shudder ran through his body.

"Hmm," he wondered aloud, "What was that about?"

It was doubtful he would have been so quick to dismiss it if he'd been privy to the conversation that was currently going on in his sitting room. But he wasn't so he returned to the deposition he was working on, happily oblivious to the fact that his fate was currently in the hands of two very naughty women.


	48. Chapter 48

**Chapter FORTY EIGHT**

EJ walked through the front door of the DiMera mansion the next day after a long day at work, excited to see his family but was met with a rather unsettling silence. He walked directly into the living room and looked around.

"Samantha?" he called out but there was no answer.

Roger suddenly appeared from the patio area and scampered towards EJ, climbing him like he was a tree and gave an excited chitter at seeing EJ.

"Well it's good to see you too Roger," commented EJ but still looked around at the strangely still household, "But you're on your Pat Malone I see… where is everyone?"

Roger clicked and tutted at that and wiggled out of EJ's arms and jumped down first onto the sofa and then scurried out into the foyer. He stopped then and looked back over his shoulder at EJ and made his little chit chit sound at him.

"What's that Lassies?" asked EJ straight faced, "Timmy's fallen down a well you say? And you want me to follow you?"

Roger actually seemed to roll his eyes at EJ's humour but then started to head up the stairs, getting half way up and turning around to make sure that EJ was following him which he was. They got to his and Sami's bedroom door and because it was closed EJ had to open it for the little fellow and Roger promptly ran inside when he did and jumped up on the bed. EJ walked into the room noticing that there was still no Sami but Roger was sitting beside one of his suits, shirt and tie all laid out neatly on the bed. There was a white envelope on the jacket and Roger picked it up and handed it to EJ.

"Why thank you Roger," said EJ with a little half smile.

He opened the note and recognised Sami's handwriting immediately.

_SHOWER AND PUT ME ON._

EJ arched an eyebrow at the directive and looked up at Roger who was looking back at him knowingly.

"I'm going to assume Samantha means the suit and not you in this instance eh Roger?" to which Roger gave a vigorous nod of his head.

EJ bent down and picked up the clothes and obediently walked into the bathroom with them, looking thoughtful. He stopped then before he got there, something occurring to him. Roger seemed to know what he was going to say because he jumped down from the bed and went to the chest of drawers and picked up another white envelope and held it out to EJ. EJ shook his head and took the offered note and opened it.

_DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE CHILDREN… THEY'RE AT GRANDMA'S_

"Right," said EJ and then looked a little askew at the monkey, "Well you seem to have all the answers tonight Roger. So what's the meaning of life eh? Care to share with us lesser mortals seeing as you are on a bit of a roll here?"

Roger pursed his lips but if he did know the secrets of the universe he wasn't giving them up to EJ just then. EJ walked into the bathroom but shook his head, going to pull out his cell phone and ring Sami and find out what exactly was going on here. As he lifted his head though he saw yet another message for him, this time written in his wife's lipstick on the bathroom mirror.

_JUST SHUT UP AND DO IT IDIOT!_

EJ pursed his lips. Well that was hard to argue with… particularly when there was no one actually to do the arguing with in the first place so EJ went about doing what the first note had instructed him to do - shower, shave and put on the suit. Fifteen minutes later he emerged from the bathroom to find Roger occupying himself by leafing through the phone book that Sami must have bought up to the room because EJ hadn't.

"Who are you planning on calling?" asked EJ tongue in cheek to the little monkey, "Don't get carried away with those opposable thumbs of yours Roger - the phone is not a toy… except for the toy phones that Ali and Johnny have… they're toys of course."

Roger raised his eyebrows at EJ's ramblings and EJ shook his head, realising he was starting to sound more and more like his uncle every day.

"Okay Roger," he said, sounding very serious as he walked over to Roger was sitting on the desk and doing up his tie as he did, "Clearly you're in the know about what is going on here. Bottom line - what's it going to take for you to spill the beans?"

Roger looked steadily back at EJ and then promptly picked up one foot and started chewing on his toes.

"Oh," said EJ knowingly, "Playing hard ball are we? Well I can see you're loyal… I like that in a monkey so I guess I'm going to have to get my information from somewhere else."

EJ picked up Roger and headed back downstairs again. This time he found John and Marlena in the living room together. They both turned and looked as EJ and Roger entered.

"Well don't you look a vision tonight," commented John.

"Ah thank you Uncle John," said EJ with a little quirk of his lips.

"I was talking to Roger," said John straight faced, "Your sideburns are uneven."

"No they're not," protested EJ, putting a hand to one of them and then looked a little uncertain, "Are they?"

"They look perfectly fine to me EJ," smiled Marlena, amused by his reaction, "And you look very handsome tonight I have to say."

"Why thank you Marlena," said EJ with an answering smile, "Do either of you know what…"

EJ's cell phone rang just then and he excused himself, going out into the foyer again.

"Samantha," he said as he answered it, seeing her name on caller ID, "Hello sweetheart."

"Hello EJ," she said calmly, "I take it you got my messages."

"Yes," said EJ with a little smile, "I see it's not only me that you've managed to beguile. Roger seems happy enough to do your bidding as well."

"I'm a DiMera EJ," she said smugly, "Figured I should start amassing some minions of my own."

EJ gave a chortle at her humour.

"Well I think Roger is an excellent start towards that darling," he said in amusement, "But I must draw the line at you amassing a monkey army I'm afraid Samantha."

"Tonight I'm going to be drawing all the lines EJ," she said, her voice low and inviting and despite himself EJ felt the usual thrill the sound of her voice bought him.

"Samantha," he said with a little bewildered smile, "What is this all about?"

"Are you familiar with the Fairview Hotel?" she asked him calmly.

"Yes," he nodded although she couldn't see him do so.

"You're to meet me there in exactly twenty minutes," she said evenly, "I'm in the bar now, waiting for you."

"Samantha," said EJ, now with a shake of his head, "Is this a good idea? I mean you haven't been out since your surgery and you've been caring for the twins all day…"

"EJ," she interrupted him coolly.

"Yes Samantha?" he returned when she paused.

"I'm having sex tonight," she informed him very matter of factly, "Now that can be with you or any one of these rather attentive gentlemen at the bar here that have been trying to buy me drinks this last half hour. It's your choice but I am having sex tonight - with or without you."

EJ was completely caught off guard by her declaration and didn't know what to say, coming up with the first thing he could think of.

"But the Fairview is on the other side of town Samantha," he reasoned, "I'll never make it in time."

"Then I suggest you hang up the phone and drive very, very fast Elvis," she directed him steadily, "You still remember how to do that don't you?"

"Ah…" EJ stammered to find the words but Sami wasn't interested.

"Twenty minutes EJ," she reminded him, "And if you're not here by then I will start without you - believe me."

Sami hung up then and EJ looked at the phone in shock. He leaned against the banister railing of the stair case and attempted to gather his thoughts. What had just happened there exactly? EJ walked back into the room, still looked a little bemused.

"Samantha wants me to meet her at the Fairview," said EJ and frowned a little as he said that.

"Is that a problem EJ?" asked Marlena, tilting her head at EJ in confusion.

"No…" said EJ slowly, trying to put into words his concerns, "It's just that I don't want her to overdo things. The last thing she needs right now is a relapse and being out at night like this in the cold air I worry that…"

"Nephew," John interrupted EJ's ramblings.

"Yes Uncle John?" asked EJ with a raised eyebrow.

"Nephew," repeated John steadily, "You can spend the rest of your life worrying about might have beens and what ifs but here's the thing… you're energy would be better spent dealing with the here and now. I saw what the wild cat was wearing when she left here…"

EJ suddenly looked uneasy at that last thing and waited for John to continue, as did Marlena, looking at John with interest.

"… and you would have to be ten flavours of stupid worrying about her getting some chest cold rather than dealing with the fact that you've got a beautiful, sexy wife out loose on the town without you," continued on John calmly, swirling his glass of scotch in front of him casually as he lectured EJ, "I've seen starving lions with less predatory looks on their faces then she had when she left and believe me, you need to pull yourself together and do something about that before she finds someone who will… if you get my drift?"

EJ felt his heart suddenly start to race in his chest as he realised John was right. All this time he'd been worrying about what if's and meanwhile Sami had been right there in front of him the whole time. For some reason John's words just seemed to resonate and even though he'd been trying to convince himself of that fact for weeks now having John voice them in his typically brutal fashion just seemed to flick some switch in EJ's brain.

"You do get my drift right Elvis?" asked John as EJ continued to stand there for a minute, looking a bit dazed, "I'm saying that probably as you stand there looking like someone just slapped you with a dead fish some guy is probably trying to scratch Sami's itch right now."

"Oh god," said EJ, Sami's words coming back to him and suddenly feeling like they just weren't an idle bluff after all.

"Indeed," nodded John, seeing some genuine fear come into EJ's eyes now, "And yet you're still just standing there… what's with that Nephew? After all I'm the one with the brain damage, not you."

EJ's eyes widened and without another word he threw Roger to Marlena who made a little startled gasp but caught the monkey easily and then EJ just turned around and made a bolt for the front door. A few seconds later there was a roar of a car engine and the squeal of tyres. John shook his head and took a sip of his drink.

"Just as well he's pretty," sighed John, "Because that nephew of mine isn't all that smart."

"John," said Marlena, looking at him with quiet admiration, "That was a really good thing you just did."

John looked at Marlena with an arched eyebrow as she put Roger down and walked around to stand in front of him.

"I think EJ has really been struggling with his worry over Sami," said Marlena, having noticed some tension in the younger man in the last couple of weeks, "I really think you helped put things into perspective for him. What you said was very insightful… a little blunt perhaps but it was still the truth."

John gave Marlena a surprised look at her praise of him.

"I'm very proud of you John," she said sincerely, a warm smile touching her lips, "You've grown so much in the last couple of months."

John looked a little perplexed by that last thing.

"No," he shook his head, "I think I'm the same height I've always been."

"No," laughed Marlena, amused by how literal he was being, "I mean as a person John. You're really maturing and growing up as a person… I'm very impressed."

"Oh," said John taking this in and then giving her a considered look, "Impressed as in, I don't know… third base impressed maybe?"

Marlena gave him a slow smile at that, moving into his arms and arching an eyebrow at him.

"I don't know John," she said and there was a definite impish light to her eyes now, "But I do know that we have the place all to ourselves tonight seeing as it's Rolf's night off as well. Maybe we should open a bottle of wine from the cellar and see where the night takes us?"

Marlena looked up at John then who had a particularly intrigued look on his face now.

"Why don't you go and chose a wine and I'll whip us up an omelette?" she suggested and gave him a knowing look before slowly turning around and giving John the enjoyment of watching her leave the room and go into the kitchen.

A slow, self satisfied smile spread over John's face at that.

"He shoots, he soars!" he crowed happily, taking a sip of his scotch and looking very pleased with himself.

Roger tilted his head and looked sceptically at John about that last thing, even _he_ didn't think that sounded right!

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ ran up the stairs of the Fairview and found himself a little out of breath. Not because of the running, he was very fit when it came to that sort of thing but his heart had been hammering away so hard in his chest the whole time with nervous anticipation that it was making catching his breath a little difficult. EJ couldn't believe he'd let this distance go on for so long between he and Sami and he was so glad that Sami had obviously decided to take things into her own hands.

God, how much did he love this woman?!

EJ's cell phone rang and he answered it distractedly, looking around for the way to the bar seeing as he'd never been here before and trying to get his bearings and ever conscious of the fact that his twenty minutes were dangerously close to being up. He'd broken every rule in the book and there was a vague possibility that he'd taken out a some guy in a wheelchair in his haste to get here but he couldn't be worried about that right now!

"EJ DiMera," he answered his phone distractedly, looking around for signage to direct him to the bar, "Uncle John what… wait… what are you saying… third base… what is it exactly?"

EJ groaned and looked at his watch - 21 minutes 10 seconds - he really didn't have time for this!

"More than touching breasts and less than actual sex," he replied hurriedly, drawing a disapproving look from an older couple who where just entering the foyer and he gave them his best charming smile, "Look Uncle John… I really have to go… we can talk about this later…"

EJ rolled his eyes as John asked more questions.

"Yes to the first thing and no to the second," he said hastily, "Now I really have to go… oh, and if you're going to attempt the first thing make sure that you shave first… okay?"

EJ snapped the phone shut then as John seemed happy enough with that. EJ finally found the bar entrance and put his long legs to good use and strode over to the doors and hurried on through. He took a couple of calming breaths and looked around for Sami, not seeing her immediately. The bar was tastefully furnished and very up market. It was also very full so it was taking EJ a moment to find Sami. His stomach churned at the thought she may have given up on him and checked his watch - 22 minutes 31 seconds. It was still a world record time to get from the mansion to here but there had been something in Sami's voice that told him that she hadn't been teasing him earlier.

The sound of a woman's laughter drifted over to him and he knew it instantly. EJ looked over towards the bar again and saw a flash of green between a group of men who were all standing there, circled around something… or rather some one. One of the men moved slightly and EJ saw Sami, sitting on a bar stool, smiling up at all of them as the men crowded around her, a drink in hand as they obviously hung off her every word. She laughed again and there was answering laughter from the men.

And it got worse… she was wearing _that_ dress, the green one which had nearly started a riot at Chez Rouge amongst the male patrons there! The green dress that dripped off her body so enticingly and made her eclipse every other woman in the room and drew men to her like bees to honey. EJ's eyes narrowed menacingly.

_God damn it - that was his honey and no one else's - this was totally unacceptable!_

EJ drew himself up to his full impressive height then and began to stalk over to the little group, intent on claiming what was his…


	49. Chapter 49

**Chapter FORTY NINE**

EJ walked up to the throng of admirers and because of his height Sami saw him over their shoulders, she looked at him but there was no flicker of recognition, instead she went back to giving the appearance of listening intently to one of the other men's story and EJ's scowl deepened. Before he could do anything about it though a waiter walked up to the group of men who apparently were altogether and announced that there table was ready.

"Join us Sami," grinned a red headed man to EJ's left.

EJ had this near overwhelming urge to simply reach out and snap the other man's neck but fought valiantly against. Too many witnesses, best to wait until he'd gone to the bathroom or something.

"Oh thank you Graham," she smiled up at him, "But I think I'll just finish my drink."

"Come on Sami," wheedled another man light brown haired man, this time to EJ's right, "We can't leave you all alone here now can we?"

EJ gritted his teeth, clearly he was going to be making a lot of trips to the bathroom this evening… and he possibly may need to call John to help with a little body disposal as he seemed to have the knack for it.

"Tell you what Paul," said Sami with a little laugh and EJ hated the fact that she seemed to know all of these men's names and that she still hadn't acknowledged his presence, "Why don't you save me a seat and I'll see."

The men, of which there were a total of five in the group murmured their agreement, grinning at Sami and telling her that they'd be waiting for her. EJ then watched as they all left the bar area and headed over to their newly available table, leaving Sami and EJ alone at last. Sami however ignored him completely and went back to her drink, chewing on the olive of her martini thoughtfully. EJ moved closer, leaning a hip against the bar and looked down at her.

"Hi there," he said and was proud of how calm he sounded.

"Oh hi," said Sami and she made it seem as though she was seeing him for the first time.

EJ's eyes narrowed, wondering what new game this was but willing to play along and see where it took him. He looked down at the drink she was nursing and saw that it was almost finished.

"Can I buy you a drink?" he asked her with a little smile.

"Oh sorry," said Sami with a regretful shake of her head, "I don't let strange men buy me drinks."

"I see," said EJ smoothly, slipping easily into the fantasy Sami had created, "Well in that case let me introduce myself, my name is EJ."

He held out his hand to her and Sami looked down at it, thoughtfully pursing her lips and then finally decided to take it. He curled his fingers around her small hand and let them give a gentle caress of her wrist as he did.

"Sami," she returned and he smiled.

"Hello Sami," he said, reluctantly releasing her hand, "So can I buy you that drink now?"

"I'll have a white wine," nodded Sami, "Nothing too sweet."

EJ nodded and caught the bartender's eye and placed the order and ordered a martini extra olives for himself. When they both had their drinks Sami took a sip of hers and then looked at him.

"So what's the E in EJ stand for?" she asked him, tilting her head at him, "Is it something embarrassing?"

EJ's lips twisted in amusement as he remembered a very similar conversation they'd had a little while after they'd first met.

"Would you believe it stands for Elvis?" he said with a little tilt of his head.

"Ouch," she said and wrinkled her nose very prettily, "I can see why you stick with EJ."

"I'm used to it," he said with a shrug.

"I guess you must be," nodded Sami.

"Can I ask you a question Sami?" asked EJ, happy to continue in their charade of being new acquaintances for the moment.

"Of course Elvis," she smiled at him calmly.

"What is a beautiful woman such as yourself doing sitting all alone in a bar?" asked EJ, curious to see what her answer was going to be.

"Ah well," she said taking a sip of her drink, "Here's the thing Elvis - I was meant to meet someone but they never showed."

"What kind of idiot would stand a woman like you up?" asked EJ with a bemused shake of his head, his eyes warm and teasing.

"The idiot I married," she sighed.

"Oh you're married?" said EJ and made a disappointed face before looking at her with interest, "So what's this husband of yours like then Sami? Apart from being an idiot of course, he must also be pretty unreliable?"

"So it would seem," said Sami with another sigh, "I'm thinking I might upgrade."

"Really?" said EJ straight faced, "Does that mean you might be interested in taking someone else out for a test drive?"

"Maybe," said Sami with a little smile, "But I should warn you, I only like to drive stick."

"What a coincidence," said EJ with a little smile of his own, "I just happen to be in possession of one of those."

"Elvis," said Sami, feigning outrage, "Are you flirting with me?"

"I'm a little out of practice," said EJ leaning closer, "But I think there is a very real chance that I am, so yes Sami - I'm flirting with you."

Sami gave a little smile at that and leant one elbow on the bar and cradle her face on her upturned hand and looked up at him.

"So Elvis," she said evenly, "Tell me about yourself… are you married?"

"Indeed I am," he nodded and unconsciously twirled the simple wedding band on his left hand.

"And what's your wife like?" she quizzed him now.

"She's…" EJ tried to find the right word, "… exquisite."

"Well if she's so exquisite than why are you here in a bar alone flirting with some woman you've just met?" asked Sami with an arch of an eyebrow.

"Ah," grimaced EJ, twisting the olives on a stick that were in his martini, "I think I may be in her bad books at the moment."

"Is that right?" asked Sami with interest, "So what do you plan to do to get back in her good books then."

"I'm thinking falling at her feet and begging for forgiveness," said EJ very seriously but there was a definite twinkle in his eyes.

"Well on your knees is certainly a good place to start," said Sami and gave him a smoky look at that.

EJ gave a little laugh and tried to remember to breath. His heart was hammering so hard in his chest that he still couldn't seem to catch his breath. He was completely enraptured with her and enjoying their little game immensely but he was also aware of his growing need to get her alone. He was having fun but he was beginning to need more, particularly as now that he was this close to her EJ was highly doubtful that she was wearing underwear of any description under that sinful dress and the knowledge made it a little hard for him to concentrate on their game suddenly.

"So Sami," smiled EJ, trying to remember the lines he used to use to get a woman into bed with him, "Do you come here a lot?"

"No," said Sami with a calm smile and took a sip of her drink and then looked at him over the top of the glass, "But now I'm here… I'd like to come a lot."

She held his gaze steadily then and EJ felt his heart rate triple with that single statement. He didn't regret all the chasing he'd done of Sami over the years to make her finally his, in fact it had been so utterly thrilling even though at times it had been completely maddening as well. But looking at Sami sitting there, smiling her little smile and sizing him up made him envious for the first time of people like Austin. The men she'd pursued openly and EJ was enjoying this taste of being on the other side of that properly for once. He wondered idly how the other men were ever able to resist her feminine wiles because he was utterly captivated by her.

Sami leant forward then, her hand reaching for a pretzel from the bowl on the bar. The simply action caused a large expanse of milky white breast to be briefly revealed as the wispy material of the dress that had been struggling to contain her all night admitted defeat. EJ instinctively moved his broad shoulders to block anyone else's view of his wife's breasts while he himself was riveted to their soft curves and he swallowed hard. The urge to just reach out and slide his hand inside her bodice top and cup her fullness was shocking in its intensity and EJ moved uncomfortably in on his bar stool as Sami straightened up, nibbling on the salty treat now.

"Well that certainly sounds like a noble goal," he said attempting to sound calm and in control but his voice was too ragged to pull it off properly.

Sami's lips twitched at hearing the sudden unevenness in his voice and took a last sip of her wine, finishing it and the pretzel.

"I'm glad you think so Elvis," she purred.

"Can I buy you another drink Sami?" he asked her but she smiled and shook her head, hiding a yawn with her hand.

"No thank you Elvis," she said and gave a little stretching sigh at that, "I'm really tired, I think I'll just go to my room."

"You have a room here?" asked EJ, his eyes flashing with interest.

"Aha," she nodded, "I was going to share it with my husband but seeing as he didn't show I think I'll stay anyway and teach him a lesson."

Sami gave him a serene smile then.

"It was nice to meet you Elvis," she said and held out a hand for him to shake.

EJ took her hand but didn't let go when he should have.

"How about a night cap?" he suggested with a raised eyebrow, "I don't have to rush home just yet."

"I don't think so," she smiled up at him as she slid off the stool.

EJ stood up too and Sami gave a little laugh, looking down at the hand he still had a hold of.

"I don't suppose I could have my hand back?" she teased him, "I was planning on taking it with me when I went to my room."

EJ finally released her hand and gave a crooked little smile.

"Thank you for my drink Elvis," she said, her voice velvety smooth, "Perhaps I'll see you around?"

"You're welcome Sami," said EJ, his eyes on her so intently that it was like he was actually touching her, "And you can count on it."

Sami gave a little nod and smile and then slowly turned around and started to make her way through the restaurant area through to where EJ assumed the elevators to the hotel rooms were. He watched enthralled as she walked away from him.

Oh yeah, definitely no underwear he decided! EJ had just stood there alternatively ogling Sami's bottom wiggling as she walked and glaring at every other man in the room who was watching and enjoying her progress. It was only when she turned a corner and was out of sight that EJ realised he had no idea what number hotel room Sami was staying in and if he didn't follow her he'd be completely clueless.

"Bollocks!" he said, forcing his suddenly weak legs into action as he lost precious seconds covering the same distance she'd just walked.

He got to the elevator foyer and saw that there were three elevators there but no Sami.

"Bollocks!" he muttered again, annoyed at himself for letting her get out of his sight.

This was a big hotel with over a hundred rooms but if he was going to have to knock on every single door before he found which one was Sami's then that was exactly what he was going to do! Two of the elevator doors were open but the end one was closed so EJ guessed that was the one with Sami in it, whisking her away from him. If he saw what floor it stopped on then he at least could narrow down his search somewhat he decided. EJ walked down to the elevator and frowned to see that it was still on the ground floor but it's doors were closed. On impulse he reached out a finger and pressed the button, opening the doors. The doors slid open with a small creak of protest and EJ's heart rate hit an all time high at what he saw. Sami was standing there, leaning up against the wall of the elevator recess, her hands behind her back as she looked back at him steadily.

"You're late," she informed him and then arched a disapproving eyebrow, "… again."

"I know," croaked EJ, unable to take his eyes off her and stepping inside the elevator with her.

"I do hope this isn't going to become a habit of yours EJ," she noted, very seriously as the doors slid shut behind him.

She'd called him EJ instead of Elvis which meant that the game had changed again obviously and EJ whet his lips and tried to keep up.

"I'll try and make sure that it doesn't Samantha," nodded EJ, watching as she casually leant over and pressed the number five button on the elevator panel.

The elevator gave a little lurch as it began to move while Sami and EJ just stood there, staring at each other. EJ's body was tight with anticipation while Sami seemed impossibly relaxed. They'd only made it to number three button lighting up when Sami casually reached out a hand again and pushed the emergency stop button. The elevator gave a more serious lurch this time and EJ had to reposition his weight quickly to stop himself from stumbling, Sami was still leaning up against the wall so she didn't have the same problem.

"I think you need to start making up for some of your recent failings EJ," she informed him coolly, looking up at him.

A small smile tugged at EJ's lips and his body instantly responded to the suggestion, the ache that had started in his groin at the first sight of her tonight burst into a full blown throbbing, his pants a suddenly painful restraint.

"Well I'd be more than happy to do just that Samantha," he said with an impish look at her and went to step closer to her but she stopped him with a shake of her head.

"Aha," she said, "First things first EJ - you're a little overdressed for the occasion."

EJ's eyes ran avidly all over Sami's body and his lips quirked.

"The same can't be said the same for you eh darling?" he teased her but he was finding it very hard to concentrate when he was looking at her in that particular dress, "That dress you're _almost_ wearing should be registered as a lethal weapon."

"I tell you what EJ," she said, her voice dripping with promise, "Get this next part right and I might just let you disarm me at some point tonight."

EJ's eyes lit up at that and his whole body hummed in anticipation of doing just that.

"You're still overdressed," she pointed out to him with a pout, "What's a girl got to do to see some flesh around here?"

EJ grinned then and quickly shrugged out of his coat, throwing it carelessly in the corner before ripping at his tie and pulling his shirt off after struggling with the buttons and wasting precious seconds but he just couldn't seem to stop his hands from shaking long enough to do the fiddly task properly. Sami watched in amusement at his fumbling haste but when his hands went to undo his belt she stalled him.

"That won't be necessary just yet I think," she informed him and EJ looked up at her expectantly.

Sami arched an eyebrow and put her hand out, crooking a finger at him and silently calling him closer. EJ closed the distance between them, standing a hairs breath away from her. Sami's hand moved between their bodies now and grabbed at EJ's belt, making him suck in a strangled breath, his stomach muscle becoming rock hard as the back of her hand made contact with them. She tugged on the belt, closing that last little distance between them. EJ's eyes slid shut in utter bliss as he felt her fit each one of her generous curves into his hard angular planes. All of her softness yielding to his hardness and he bit back a small groan at the sensation, unable to help himself from grinding his now painful erection into her, needing her to feel what she was doing to him. EJ opened his eyes, wanting to kiss her now but as he bent his head to try and capture her lips in a kiss she avoided him.

"I believe there was some talk of you throwing yourself at my feet," she said, her voice silky and low, answering his quizzical look.

A slow smile of dawning comprehension spread over EJ's face as he determinedly held her gaze, sinking wordlessly to his knees in front of her. Still holding her gaze EJ lifted up first one leg and draped it over his shoulder and then the other so that her feet were completely off the ground and it was only him that was holding her up and the wall against her back. Sami looked down at herself straddling his wide shoulders like this and gave a little shudder as EJ's hands came up and pushed the delicate material of her dress out of his way, exposing his prize to him. He'd been right about her lack of concern for decorum because there was nothing standing between EJ and his goal now as he finally broke eye contact to survey his 'penance'.

Sami bit her lip as she watched him slowly lick his lips before burying his head between the apex of her thighs. The composed and in control look that she'd been sporting all evening for EJ's benefit left her completely as soon as she felt his tongue thrust into her, tasting from her deeply. Sami groaned loudly and squeezed her legs together, trapping him in place, wanting more. He indulged her happily as he began to lap at the juices that had been pooling there ever since she'd seen him standing their at the bar, his jealousy written all over his handsome face. It got her so very hot when he was possessive of her and he was reaping the benefits of that right now… they both were in fact.

She felt his hands go to her bottom cheeks, holding her still as he determinedly plundered her delights and Sami squealed as he suddenly attached himself to her nub and began to suckle on it hard. Her hands flew to EJ's head, her fingers into his scalp before tugging on his short hair in time to the way her hips were starting to thrust against his face of their own accord.

"Oh god!" she cried out, her face screwing up in delight as her body that had been denied too long the thrill of his touch could take no more.

Her orgasm was abrupt and almost brutal in it's intensity and Sami couldn't stop herself from screaming out, her hips frantically thrusting away as EJ pursued his stimulation of her through Sami's entire climax, making her think she might actually pass out from the riot of sensation that was bombarding her body. Too quickly her body was done and Sami whimper as he finally let her be, simply licking at her slick folds now, letting her calm down a bit even as his large hands massaged her bottom cheeks. When he was satisfied that she was finally done EJ slipped her thighs from his shoulder and put her feet back on the ground and Sami had to concentrate to remember how to stand again.

EJ got to his feet shakily, his own rampant desire making him suddenly clumsy. Sami leant back against the wall of the elevator, satisfied with the state of arousal she had him in and enjoying the last little buzz from her own climax. It had been too quick but she'd known that would be the case the first time he touched her properly again. It didn't matter, they had all night and there were going to be a lot more of those orgasms to go round. EJ was on his feet now, hungrily claiming her lips, kissing her at last and making her taste herself as he did. Sami's hands went to his zipper and released the mammoth erection she could feel there. Oh god how she'd missed feeling him like this under her hand and fresh wetness gushed out of her body as she realised that she was soon going to be impaled on that hardness.

EJ gave her no further need to imagine it though because as soon as she'd released his manhood he was grabbing her bottom, picking her up off her feet so suddenly that she gasped and just thrusting into her in one hard, sure movement. There was no more time for Sami to prepare herself and grimaced against the sudden burn of having to take so much of him all at once but loving every moment of it, the short lived pain exciting her even more.

Sami revelled in the fact that he wasn't thinking about her leg or if he was hurting her but only that he needed to come inside of her more than anything else in the world right then. Each of his strokes were so frantically urgent that Sami knew he would be barely able to last a minute at this rate and she wanted that - she wanted him so out of control, so wrapped up in what her body was doing to him that he couldn't think past that, not even about her own pleasure. He was always such a considerate lover and Sami never ceased to be thankful for that but there was a heady thrill of power in knowing that she could make him lose his mind so utterly that he no longer had any control over himself.

"You like that don't you EJ?" she panted unevenly, wanting to push him to breaking point now, "You like all those men looking at me, wanting me and knowing you're the only one who gets to have me…"

"Oh god yes!" he cried out, throwing his head back and moving inside her even harder, his breathing so ragged that he thought he was going to pass out from how little oxygen he was getting.

Sami grabbed his head in both hands and pulled roughly on it, making him look at her, even as he had her pinned up against the wall, hammering himself into her over and over again.

"They're so hard for me," she egged him on, "All those other men but you're the only one who can get me wet, you're the only one who makes me beg for more no matter how many times you come inside of me…"

"Oh shit!" howled EJ, feeling himself give a final hard thrust, his balls tightening and then he was emptying himself into her, his hips thrusting erratically as he frantically pumped his seed into her, "Shit! Shit! Shit!"

Sami growled her satisfaction at hearing him swear like that. He rarely used such language and she knew it was because she'd pushed him so far that he'd completely lost control of himself and the sense of power over him almost made her come again but not quite. She held on tightly to EJ's broad shoulders as he shuddered and lurched inside of her, a self satisfied smile on her face. He certainly wasn't thinking she was some delicate piece of glass right about now, not the way he'd been ramming himself home inside of her and Sami gave a little shudder at the thought and the sensation.

"S… sorry," he gasped eventually, dropping his sweaty head to her shoulder, barely able to manage words at this point as his body still made the occasional spasm.

If it didn't mean giving up his place inside of her EJ would have simply collapsed to the ground but he couldn't bear the thought of leaving her yet. He'd been so embarrassingly quick to climax, he didn't think he'd been that quick in his entire life. He knew he hadn't satisfied Sami, could feel it in the tenseness of her body but despite his desperate attempts all control had left him. He'd been out of his mind with wanting this woman and nothing could have stopped him or slowed him down as soon as he was sheathed inside her wet heat again. He had no idea now how he'd managed to keep his hands off her for so long but knew that he wasn't going to be able to ever again.

"Like that did you?" she asked him, nuzzling his nose with her own even as she teased him with almost kisses."

"God yes," he said with heartfelt desperation, "So much."

"I noticed," she grinned at him, contracting her muscles around his still pleasingly swollen member that was currently embedded deep inside her, wringing another guttural noise from somewhere deep in EJ's chest.

"I was so quick," he lamented unsteadily, trying to capture her mouth in a kiss but she wouldn't let him, teasing him mercilessly.

"Yes you were you bad boy," she purred, licking at some sweat that tracked an uneven course down one of his cheeks, his skin heated deliciously from all his frenzied exertions, "I think I'm going to have to make you pay for that."

"I'm ready for my punishment Mrs DiMera," he said throatily, beginning to move confidently inside of her again now.

The one benefit to such a quick release was that he was ready for round two almost immediately and if she kept working him like she currently was, squeezing and releasing around his returning hardness than he was going to be up to the task of bringing her to her next climax in no time.

"Ah ah," said Sami, shaking her head at him and giving him a sultry look, "This is meant to be your punishment, no more fun for you right now."

EJ pouted at that looking like a denied child all of a sudden and the sight made Sami give a little mischievous giggle. She straightened up a bit, her legs still wrapped around his waist and whispered in his ear.

"Pull out of me EJ," she ordered him throatily and even the words got EJ a little harder.

He groaned his complaint but obeyed. The way Sami gave a final, long hard clench around his aching member making the experience of leaving her a particularly excruciating one and he couldn't help but whimper, not caring if it didn't sound very manly. Sami loosened her grip on his waist with her legs and let them slide back down so that her feet were back on the ground again. EJ gave a little groan again and leaned his body up against hers, not wanting to lose contact with her anymore than he had to. Sami pulled on his shoulders, making him bend his head so that she could whisper into his ear again.

"On your knees DiMera," she purred at him and she felt his hands tighten on her hips at the command as he pressed his erection more firmly against her stomach, reminding her that he had something else to offer her in case she'd forgotten.

Sami pushed back on his shoulders, making him reluctantly loosen his hold on her and leant back against the elevator wall, looking up at him defiantly.

"Oh no," she said with a shake of her head, "I'm running this show now and you get to come again when I say you do and not before."

EJ's eyes flared with desire at how commanding she was being, finding this side of her to be unbearably exciting which wasn't helping him with his little, well more so, rapidly growing problem.

"On your knees Elvis," she growled at him, the barest of smirks on her face, "I'm not letting you out of this elevator until you make me come at least one more time so you'd better get busy."

"And after I do?" asked EJ, completely entranced by her as he licked his lips slowly, his eyes dancing over her body as he thought some very wicked thoughts indeed, "What's my reward going to be Samantha?"

"Goodness is its own reward EJ," she teased him with an arched eyebrow, "But badness on the other hand…"

She trailed off then and gave him a sultry look, letting him fill in the blanks which he gleefully did. EJ sank to his knees, holding her gaze as he did, his large hands going to cup her naked bottom cheeks and knead them. EJ then began to nuzzle her mound through the soft material of her skirt and Sami's eyes drifted shut, preparing herself for what was about to come… her.


	50. Chapter 50

**Chapter FIFTY**

"Are you ready EJ?" she asked him, looking over in amusement as her husband tucked his shirt tails into his pants, grimacing as he did because of how hard he still was.

"I am _so_ ready Samantha," he told her with a pointed look and her eyes dropped to the bulge that his pants were barely containing and couldn't argue with him on that.

Sami gave a mellow smile, feeling particularly good after the two orgasms he'd just given her in quick succession while he was on his knees in front of her. That man certainly knew what he was doing down there and Sami was more than happy to reap the benefits from that particular talent. EJ's tie was still draped over his shoulders carelessly and his coat was where he'd thrown it in his previous haste. He picked it up but instead of putting it on he folded over his arms and strategically held it in front of him.

"Good idea honey," his wife winked at him impishly, "Don't want you going and getting yourself arrested for indecent exposure now do we EJ?"

"Well I'm sure there is something you could do about it sweetheart," said EJ, joining in on the teasing but he really wasn't joking all that much.

"EJ," she breathed, moving up to where he was standing and resting her body lightly against his and feeling him react to her simple gesture already.

Sami grabbed the ends of his ties, pulling on them so he had to bend his head down to her and she felt him tense in expectation but she wasn't going to make it that easy for him.

"Be a dear and push the button will you?" she purred up at him.

"I thought I'd already done that?" he told her with a smug smile on his face, "Several times in fact."

"The elevator button silly," she chided him but didn't look unhappy with him as she did.

EJ gave a little complaining groan and did as she said and she rewarded him with a quick kiss which he immediately tried to deepen but she would have nothing of it.

"Down boy," she purred, turning around and making very sure that her back side rubbed up against his erection as she did.

"Bloody hell," complained EJ as the doors of the elevator slide open and he pulled on the front of his pants, trying to ease some of the painful constriction that was going on there, "Our room had better not be too far away sweetheart or you may have to carry me!"

Sami gave a little giggle at that and EJ put on a bright smile for the couple that were walking into the elevator as he and Sami were walking out, making sure his folded hands with the coat draped over it were firmly in place. He followed Sami along the corridor and thankfully their room wasn't that far away after all. EJ moved so that he was directly behind Sami as she fished for the magnetic key from her purse, pressing hot, open mouth kisses to her bare shoulder and neck.

"You're so gorgeous," he groaned against her skin, his hot breath making her shiver a little.

"I bet you say that to all the women you pick up in bars," she teased him impishly, finding the key and swiping the door.

"All the gorgeous ones I'm married to," he agreed with a grin, following her in to the room.

He didn't let her get far though because as soon as the door slammed shut behind them he grabbed her hand and swung Sami around, pushing her up against the wall of the little foyer and claiming her mouth in a series of searing kisses that made Sami's toes curl in her shoes.

"I want you," moaned into her mouth, before nipping teasingly at her bottom lip, "I need you, please Samantha, I have to have you."

"And you will," she told him, pulling her head back away from him and avoiding his kisses, much to his frustration, "But you just have to be patient EJ."

"Samantha!" he groaned his protest, pushing his hard on up against her stomach, "I can't sweetheart."

"You can and you will," she told him matter of factly, pleased at the desperation in his voice.

Sami pushed hard on his shoulders, making him let her go. She pushed on them again, forcing him step back now so that his back was against a wall. He looked down at her, his expression caught between rampant need and intrigue.

"I have it all planned," said Sami smugly, stepping closer to him and resting her palms on his chest, sliding her hand up and down his broad chest, "First we're going to sit down and enjoy a lovely, candle lit dinner together…"

EJ turned his head and saw the beautifully laid out table for two that was set out on the balcony and as inviting as it look his appetite wasn't for food right then.

"… and then you're going to take me dancing downstairs," she murmured, stepping even closer so that her body rested lightly against his, "And then…"

"And then?" he prompted her huskily, his eyes running all over her beautiful face as she seduced him right there in front of him.

"… and then you're just going to take me," she purred, her voice low as she went up on her toes and began to press kisses along his neck and jaw line, "… again… and again… and again until I tell you that you can stop."

EJ swallowed hard at that last part, feeling his body respond to her helplessly. His hands encircled her waist and then dipped lower, cupping a bottom cheek in each hand.

"I have a better idea," he growled, squeezing her cheeks tightly, "How about we skip the first two things and just head directly to the third?"

"Oh no," said Sami with a shake of her head, looking up at him impishly through her eyelashes, "You're going to need all your strength to keep up with me tonight EJ DiMera so you need to eat something. Its going to be a long night for you."

"Maybe you're right about the food," said EJ with a grin, "But I don't know about the dancing sweetheart."

He looked down at his crotch and the huge bulge that he was currently sporting there.

"I need at least some blood around my brain to tell my feet what to do," he informed her ruefully, "And currently there is a massive amount of re-routing going on thanks to you."

"Oh," said Sami, pursing her lips and looking concerned now, "I see you're problem EJ."

She cocked her head and scrutinised his crotch, seeming to be thinking things over.

"That looks painful EJ," she noted straight faced.

"So painful," he nodded in agreement, "You have no idea how much pain I'm in right now because of you Samantha."

"Hmm," said Sami and her lips twitched at that, "Well I really want to go dancing…"

She paused then and EJ found himself holding his breath.

"So maybe you'd better take care of that then?" she suggested and gave him a sweet smile.

"You're not going to help me?" he asked in disappointment.

"How about I just give you some pointers?" she offered helpfully.

"Wouldn't you just rather show me how it's done?" he asked her hopefully.

"You're wasting time EJ," she reminded him with a grin.

EJ groaned and leant back heavily against the wall, needing some kind of release now, even if he had to do it himself. He unzipped his pants and released himself and enjoyed the suddenly avid look on Sami's face. If he couldn't talk her into doing this for him then having her watch him was certainly not without it's appeal. EJ grimaced as he wrapped his hand around his swollen shaft, his thumb running over the tip, massaging it and making himself groan a little. He wrapped his around his thickness, beginning to pump up and down, making sure with every forward motion that his thumb ran over his tip, pre-cum lubricating his movements but he so wished it was her wetness doing that for him right now.

EJ watched her watching his every stroke with a small smile on her face, obviously enjoying the show and it heightened the experience for him. EJ gave a low groan, pushing his shoulders back against the wall harder and picking up the speed. Later tonight he was going to get her to put on a similar show for him he decided and the thought made him squeeze his eyes shut as he imagined it, his breathing growing increasingly harsh and uneven now. The sudden feel of his hand being knocked away made his eyes fly open and when he did he looked down to see Sami on her knees now in front of him. She grabbed his ass cheeks in both hands and then simply replaced his hand with her mouth.

"SWEET MARY MOTHER OF GOD!" shouted EJ as she managed to take him all into her mouth in one single motion.

He felt the back of her throat on his tip and couldn't stop himself from going up on his toes and reaching a hand up above his head and because of his height he actually could touch the ceiling and he used it to brace himself as she began to work on his pulsating member in earnest for him. EJ cursed under his breath because he knew he wasn't going to be lasting too much longer this time round either at this rate. He'd already been so close and now she was undoing whatever self control he'd imagined he had. When he felt her hands begin to massage his balls EJ was done and with a strangled cry he flooded her mouth with his salty tasting seed even as she continued to move up and down on him, drawing out every last drop that he had for her and he shuddered uncontrollably around his grunting groans of appreciation.

Sami continued to stimulate him long after he was done, enjoying listening to his little strangled pants of approval. When she'd finally decided he'd had enough she released him from the hot cavern of her mouth, his tongue doing a final stroking action all over and making him shiver. She'd felt him begin to harden again during her ministrations and she toyed with working him up once more and enjoying a repeat performance but she really did want to go dancing and they had the rest of the night to do this to each other… and that was what she fully intended to do. She looked up at EJ from where she was still kneeling in front of him and he held her gaze as she carefully replaced his member in his pants after pressing a quick kiss to the tip of it and making him groan again. EJ helped Sami to her feet and pulled her against him into a hard kiss, his tongue plundering hers, wanting to taste more of himself in her mouth.

"You're magnificent," he told her unevenly, his eyes still a little unfocused from his recent climax.

"Happy to help," she smiled up at him affectionately.

She loved the doe eyed look he got after sex, all dazed and disorientated, it made her giggle.

"Are you hungry?" she asked him, resting her chin on his chest and tilting her head right back to look him in the eye.

"Give me a minute and I will be starving again," he said with an impish wink.

"For food EJ," she chided him but her grin betrayed her, "For food."

"Oh," said EJ with a little laugh, "Food… alright then - I guess I could eat."

Sami took his hand in both of hers and pulled him towards the balcony, walking backwards before dropping one of her hands and turning around, walking with him out to the little dinning area that had been set up. EJ moved so that he could pull the chair out for Sami to sit down on which she did. There was a knock at the door then and Sami smiled.

"Perfect timing," she said, "That will be the food - I organised for it to be delivered about now… I figured we might be busy up until now."

"That was very astute of you sweetheart," he laughed, going over and answering the door.

Five minutes later EJ had set all the food down on the table and tipped the staff and was now sitting down across from her. Sami watched with affectionate amusement as he promptly began to move all of the items on the table into the centre - bowl of flowers, salt and pepper shaker, all of the dishes of food.

"You know you don't have to do that EJ," she reminded him with a gentle laugh and he looked up at her with surprise, "No Ali and Johnny tonight… you don't have to twin proof the table."

"Oh," said EJ, looking suddenly sheepish having moved everything into the centre of the table without realising he was even doing it, the habit so deeply engrained nowadays, "I guess I don't at that."

EJ gave a little laugh then and shook his head.

"I guess those little imps of our have got me well and truly trained eh?" he observed with a quirk of his lips.

"You're a good father EJ," said Sami warmly, "It makes me melt when you do things like that."

"What?" he teased her, "Moving a salt shaker two inches to the right makes you melt sweetheart?"

"When you do it to protect our babies it does," she said, letting him get away with teasing her, "It's a very sexy trait you've developed."

"It's more to protect me actually if you remember what happened the last time our son got his hands on the salt shaker," grinned EJ.

"He did have uncanny aim," nodded Sami thoughtfully and then laughed, "Oh well, I always thought scars on men were sexy."

"Just as well," said EJ ruefully as he put a hand to the slight indent in his skull that was still there from Johnny's shot putting attempt.

Their dinner was full of talk of the children, the wedding and just being together. They laughed often and truth be told even though he was sure the food was excellent EJ didn't really taste a thing, all of his attention focused on the woman across from him.

"What are you thinking?" she asked curiously when they were done with their meal and they were sitting in companionable silence for a few minutes, seeing the way he was looking at her.

"That it boggles my mind that you're mine," he told her truthfully, "This is all I could have ever dreamed for and more besides Samantha. That I've never been this happy in my life and it's all because of you. "

He looked at her then with his own curious expression.

"What are you thinking sweetheart?" he asked her, with tilting his head to one side.

Sami looked a little embarrassed then after his heart felt words of love and devotion to admit what had been on her mind but he looked at her in silent expectation so she wrinkled her nose at him in a rueful grimace.

"If you were going to eat the last chocolate coated strawberry or if I could have it," she told him truthfully.

EJ burst out laughing at that and shook his head.

"My wife the romantic," he chortled at her.

"Just for that I'm having it now," said Sami with a sniff, pretending to be offended and made a grab for the little sweet treat but he was too fast for her.

EJ grabbed it and Sami gave him an outraged look at that.

"Hey!" she protested, "That was mine!"

"We'll share it," he told her and pushed back his chair, putting the strawberry to his lips and holding it there.

He crooked his finger to her as she'd done to him in the elevator and Sami smiled a sultry smile, getting up and sitting on his lap as he'd obviously intended her to do. She placed her hands on his shoulder and bit down on the luscious, chocolaty fruit that he was holding in his mouth and EJ took the other half in to his mouth and chewed. Sami had barely swallowed when his mouth was on hers again, tongue pushing into her mouth, tasting her sweetness. She tasted of the strawberry and chocolate with a slight lingering of the wine they'd had with dinner and he couldn't get enough.

Sami pulled away eventually, breathless from his kisses. She put her arms more tightly around his neck and leaned in closer still, making sure her breasts were pressed up against his chest. Sami could feel his heart thundering in his chest and she knew hers matched him.

"EJ," she whispered, her eyes on his lips and then held his gaze, "I want…"

"Yes?" he prompted her in a low voice.

"I want…" she breathed, her eyes dropping to his lips and teasingly brushing them with his own but not kissing him quite yet.

"What do you want Samantha?" he asked her huskily, his eyes dark and intense now, his hands massaging her waist, "Tell me sweetheart."

"I want… " she whispered, her tongue flicking out to trace his bottom lip and causing him to make a low groaning sound, "… to go dancing now."

EJ blinked a little groggily at that and she gave him an mischievous look, knowing full well that wasn't what he was hoping she was going to say.

"Dancing?" he repeated unsteadily, trying to get his brain to work again.

"Aha," she grinned at him.

"You are going to be the death of me Samantha Jean DiMera," he said and he tried to make it sound like a complaint but there was too much happiness on his face to pull if off properly.

Sami gave an unconcerned shrug, still smiling and slide of his lap, very slowly and making sure there was as much drawn out friction as she could manage. Obviously she achieved her goal because EJ gave a strangled groan and for a split second she thought he wasn't going to let her go but then he relented and she was standing beside him as he still sat on his chair. EJ reached out a hand and stroked her leg under her skirt and gave a little frown then.

"How's your leg holding up?" he asked her, his concern for her obvious, "We haven't exactly been gentle so far tonight - are you sure you're not in any pain sweetheart?"

"One," she said with an arch of an eyebrow, "You're taking me dancing before there is any other kind of taking going on so stop trying to wiggle out of it EJ…"

EJ's lips curved up in a smile at that. Truth was he loved to dance with Samantha but after having denied himself the delights of her body for what felt like forever now he was a little more interested in staying put rather than having to share her with everyone else in the hotel.

"And two," she continued on straight faced, putting a hand either side of his shoulders and grapping the back of his seat, leaning right in so that her face was level with his, "For the rest of the evening all you need to worry about my legs is..."

Sami leant forward then and whispered something particularly dirty in EJ's ear. EJ went pale and swallowed very noisily at that as he was suddenly bombarded with a very clear mental imagine of doing just what she'd described as she looked challengingly down at him, a knowing smile on her lips.

"Please stop saying things like that to me Samantha," he said weakly, feeling a himself start to sweat slightly now, "Particularly if you expect me to go out in public again."

"It must be really hard being a man sometimes," she tutted sympathetically, straightening up and looking down at him with a teasing grin.

"Around you it is," he agreed ruefully and willed himself to calm down and think unsexy thoughts.

EJ looked at his vision of a wife standing there smiling down at him and didn't find it helpful in his endeavours.

"I don't suppose you bought another dress with you?" he asked her in vague hopefulness.

Sami looked down at her dress and then back at EJ.

"What's wrong with my dress?" she complained with a little pout.

"_Nothing_ is wrong with your dress darling," he said with a half frustrated, half appreciative groan, "That would be the problem."

Sami gave him a pleased look at that.

"Sorry honey," she said with a feigned regretful shake of her head, "This is the only dress I bought with me… although… if you like, I could take it off before we go dancing."

"Like hell!" he exclaimed, standing up suddenly from his chair and making Sami laugh.

"Dancing!" she proclaimed laughingly as he tried to pull her into his arms again but Sami was having none of that, knowing where that was going to lead.

"You have a one track mind," he huffed, pretending to look put out as he reluctantly let her go.

"Hark who talks," she said with a roll of her eyes, "Now go and get your coat."

"Yes ma`am," he teased her and went and did as she asked.

Sami watch EJ tight butt as he walked away, suddenly remembering her conversation with Emily.

"EJ," she asked him impishly, "Have you got a quarter?"

"I think so," he frowned, his hand going to his wallet, "Why?"

"I'll explain later," she said, tongue in cheek.

EJ looked intrigued but let it be for the moment. Shrugging into his coat jacket he then crooked his elbow at her and Sami smiled, walking over to him and looping her arm through his.

"Shall we go dancing Mrs DiMera?" he asked her with a warm smile.

"Why Mr DiMera," she giggled up at him, "I thought you'd never ask."

**oooOOOOooo**

The outdoor dance floor of the hotel was crowed but Sami and EJ only had eyes for one another as they danced together. EJ spun her out and then back into him as Sami laughed up at him.

"I don't think there is meant to be so much spinning in a waltz EJ," she teased him.

"I'm a bit of a rebel Samantha," he said very seriously, "I make my own rules."

He pulled her tightly into his arms again then as they began move as one to the music.

"Well lucky for you EJ that I happen to have a thing for bad boys," she said straight faced as he moved her around the dance floor skilfully.

"Boys?" he said throatily, the hand that was at the small of her back moving ever so slightly, moving ever closer to her backside and then pulling their lower bodies closer together, "What you need is a man Samantha… one man."

"Hmm," she mused, seeming to be considering that, "I might need convincing of that EJ."

His hand had dipped now under the flimsy material of her low backed dress, his fingers resting on the indentation of her spine just before the swell of her bottom began in earnest. Sami felt herself give a little shiver and knew she should be chastising him for being so familiar in a public place but all she really wanted was for him to keep going. EJ' lips turned up in a little smile, seeing the look on her face and knew what she was hoping for. Truth be told EJ would have been happy to oblige her but he was almost certain that if he kept moving his hand south he wouldn't be able to stop himself.

They really didn't need to be thrown out of another hotel in Salem… not when he had such big plans for the rest of the evening so with a super human effort EJ restrained himself, even moving his hand a little higher in a show of unbridled will power. He saw the little look of disappointment on Sami's face and made a silent promise to himself to make it up to her later that night.

Out of the corner of EJ's eye he could see that they were being watched by a couple of Sami's admirers from the bar and EJ felt a deep satisfaction knowing that was all they'd ever be able to do - stare at Sami from afar but it also annoyed him that these men were looking at his wife, knowing for certain what it was that they were thinking. EJ dipped Sami suddenly and she gave a little gasp of surprise and looked up at him as he held her there, looking deeply into her eyes. He moved then, putting his lips against her ear as he held her in his arms.

"I'm so sick of all these men being around you," growled EJ into her ear, "I want you all to myself."

"And what will you do once you have me all to yourself?" asked Sami breathlessly.

"So many, many things," he told her, straightening up and dropping her other hand so he could circle her waist with his arms, "But I'd rather show you then tell you - actions speak louder than words after all darling."

Sami giggled at that and he looked at her quizzically and Sami shook her head.

"Just reminded me of a conversation I recently had," she half explained, thinking of Emily, "And as it turned out, it was some very good advice."

"Really?" he asked, his curiosity piqued now, "Do tell?"

"Later," she purred, snuggling in closer to him, "Let's get out of here… I'm sick of all these woman being around you."

EJ grinned and grabbed her hand and lead her from the dance floor… after all, the night was only young…


	51. Chapter 51

**Chapter FIFTY ONE**

There were a quite a few people wanting to use the same elevator Sami and EJ were going to use so they all crowded in but EJ made sure that he manoeuvred them to the back so that everyone was standing in front of them. EJ leant up against the back wall of the elevator and Sami stood in front of him, resting back lightly on him. EJ's arms went around Sami's waist with practiced familiarity and Sami snuggled back into him, enjoying the feeling of being in his embrace and hardly able to wait until they were alone in their room together. EJ seemed to feel the same way but didn't seem to feel the need for the alone part quite as much it appeared because Sami felt him begin to rub himself against her as they stood there in the back of the elevator, people crowded all around.

Sami's lips quirked and she joined him, moving her hips in time with his, the movement subtle but stimulating to them both. It appeared that this was going to be a longer elevator trip because every button to the seventh floor was pressed as people got off on each floor. By the forth floor stop EJ had grown impatient and Sami bit back a gasp as he suddenly moved one hand from around her waist and brazenly slipped it inside her bodice, cupping a full breast, testing it's weight in his hand.

Sami's eyes widened, unbearably conscious that any one of the people still left in the elevator could turn around and see them, her heart beating wildly in her chest now but that possibility didn't seem to be fazing EJ at all as he began to fondle her breast, finding her nipple and pulling and twisting on it how he knew she liked it. Sami was suddenly so wet that she actually felt some moisture escape her body and trickle down her leg as the ache between her legs became full blown. She bit down on her lip to stop herself from crying out and EJ leant down over her shoulder, rubbing his cheek against hers and she felt the roughness of his slight beard. The next stop was floor six, their floor but instead of loosening his hold on her he simply tightened it. The door slid open and one person got off.

"I want you again in here," he whispered into her ear, his voice so low that only she could hear and she nodded mutely, wanting that too.

They let the doors slide shut on their floor and rode with the remaining occupants to the seventh and eighth floors with EJ still grinding himself into her slowly from behind, his fingers still tweaking at her nipple, getting her wetter and wetter all the time. Sami wanted to scream at what he was doing to her but she bit down on her cheek and endured his sweet torture of her body in silence. Finally the last occupant of the lift alighted and Sami almost cried with relief as the doors slid shut and they were at last alone. The elevator hovered for a minute and then began it's slow descent and without being asked Sami reached out a hand and hit the emergency stop button for the second time that night.

"Good girl," he praised her, his own voice rough as she felt his hand at her breast becoming increasingly urgent.

Sami doubted that this was going to be any less frantic then their other couplings so far, it had been too long since their last release and they were both at a fever pitch of need again.

"Hurry," she moaned to him, unable to think beyond having him back inside of her.

EJ didn't need to be told twice, at last letting go of her breast only to put both his hands on her hips and swing Sami around so that she was facing the wall. Sami groaned and bent over at the waist, putting her palms flat on the wall and waited for him to take her in agonising anticipation. EJ growled low in his throat at seeing her like this. This was one of his favourite positions, seeing her perfect backside presented to him like this, knowing she was letting him be in complete control, it was enough to drive a man insane.

Sami heard the sound of his belt and then zipper being undone and then pants dropping to the ground and braced herself, knowing she was about to be ridden very hard and wanting it so badly. She felt him push up the material of her skirt and knew she was fully exposed now and he would be able to see how wet he'd gotten her.

"Oh god sweetheart," he grunted, one hand going between her legs and rubbing the back of his hand along her now dripping thighs, "So wet… and all for me."

"Yes," she gasped as his hand rubbed up against her centre, lingering there, "All for you! Now please… I need to come right now!"

EJ grabbed her hips with both hands and gave her a final warning.

"I'm so big sweetheart," he panted, "You've got me so hard… I don't want to hurt you…"

"DO IT!" she ordered him roughly, prepared to take anything as long as she could have some kind of release to end her torment.

EJ growled low in his throat, her command breaking the last of his restraint and he just mounted her without further warning.

"Oh god!" she gasped, squeezing her eyes shut as she had to now take all of him in a single thrust.

He was even bigger than the first time he'd been inside of her tonight and it would have been excruciating if she hadn't already had him and been so very wet. Her body quickly adjusted to him and the flash of pain passed and then there was just the feeling of having him inside her again.

"So tight!" he grunted, immediately bending over her so she could feel his chest against her back, "You're so damn tight sweetheart - I love it!"

Both of his hands went to her breasts now, freeing them from the confines of her dress before finding her nipples again and beginning to pull on them in time with his thrusts. Sami's eyes rolled back in her head and she knew she wouldn't be able to take this kind of double stimulus for very long which EJ of course knew full well. EJ was varying the angles of his thrusts, looking for the one that would give Sami maximum pleasure and she cried out when he found it.

"Oh right there!" she moaned desperately, "More - don't stop EJ, just like that!"

"Samantha," he groaned, beginning to ride her in earnest now, his strokes alternating between long and deep and sharp and frantic.

The small room was filled with the sound of their ragged breathing and slick bodies moving over one another and the heavy smell of sex was in the air as Sami felt herself let go, her core pulsating wildly even as her hips heaved and strained against his frantic thrusting. As soon as her orgasm started it made EJ come as well and he cried out her name in that final frenzied push to empty himself into her. Sami's knees gave way then and it was only EJ's quick reflexes that managed to wrap his arms around her waist to stop her from falling.

"Oh… my… god…" she gasped weakly.

EJ tightened his arms around her waist and rested his cheek against her back, not even being able to manage words yet as his body hummed and throbbed in the aftermath of his own climax.

**oooOOOOooo**

"What?" asked Sami in amusement as they finally made it out of the elevator and to their room when she saw the expression on her husbands face.

He leaned back against the door of their room and blew out a tired but pleased sigh, arching a mischievous eyebrow at her.

[IMG].com/albums/kk96/Loublue1/Wild%20Horses/days11_03_2006_[/IMG]

"I'm was just thinking we should get an elevator installed at the mansion," he said straight faced, "I think I'm developing a bit of a fetish for them."

Sami burst out laughing at that and he joined in.

"Well there is that dumb waiter that goes from the basement into the kitchen," noted Sami humorously, "Will that do?"

"I couldn't even get my legs into that thing," snorted EJ and then ran his eyes appreciatively all over Sami's body as she stood regarding him in amusement, "Let alone the most important part of my fetish."

"Well I guess you'll have to talk to John about it then," she smiled up at him, "Knowing John it's something he'd actually consider."

"Mm," said EJ, pursing his lips together thoughtfully, "I guess he would at that."

EJ looked over at Sami now as she kicked off her shoes and wiggled her toes in the plush hotel carpet, giving a grateful sigh of relief.

"I've just realised something," said EJ thoughtfully, walking up to Sami and sliding his arms around her waist from behind.

"That you're insatiable?" she asked, tongue in cheek as he nuzzled her neck.

"Oh no," he said very seriously, "I knew that already."

"Then what's this new revelation then?" she laughed.

"That we've been here in this hotel for hours now," he began.

"Wow EJ," she interrupted him teasingly, "You're quite the time keeper aren't you?"

"And we've enjoyed some very… very… enjoyable moments together already," he continued on, ignoring her teasing.

"Yes," nodded Sami seriously, leaning back against his chest, "Dinner was excellent wasn't it? And the dancing was fun too."

"And despite all that," he went on, undaunted by her continued cheekiness, "I have yet to see my gorgeous wife naked."

"Oh," said Sami, sounding very concerned now, "Well that's just terrible EJ - I so wish there was something I could do to fix that for you."

EJ's nimble fingers went to the tiny hidden zipper along the side seam of her dress, undoing the delicate catch.

"It's fine Samantha," he told her knowingly, "I've got it all in hand."

EJ pulled on the zip, all the way down and went to push off the scraps of material from her shoulders but Sami's hands came up and still his that were about to do just that.

"I've got a better idea," she said, looking up at him over her shoulder with a smile.

"Well I have no complaints about your ideas thus far sweetheart," he grinned, "So what's your idea?"

**oooOOOOooo**

Samantha leaned back a little further, settling herself more comfortably and let out a blissful moan. Her eyes drifted shut as her body was bombarded with sensations and she smiled around another happy groan.

"You started with out me," pouted EJ unhappily, taking in his wife's naked body and the very pleased expression on her face.

"You were taking to long," she sighed and grinned up at him, "I couldn't wait any longer."

EJ walked the rest of the way into the bathroom, white towel draped loosely around his waist and surveyed the steam filled room with amusement.

"You've turned this bathroom into a sauna," he informed her, walking over to where Sami was immersed up to her neck in hot, scented water.

"And is that a problem for you EJ?" she smiled up at him sweetly, her face flushed pink from the heated water and steam, "If I recall you quite enjoyed your last visit to a sauna."

"I think we both did sweetheart," he said with a grin, "In fact I remember very distinctly."

"Well then," she shrugged with a lazy smile, "Stop complaining and get in here then."

"Did I ever tell you that it gets me very hot when you're bossy?" he teased her, dropping his towel and watching as Sami scooted down to one end of the old fashioned bath tub so he could climb in behind her.

"If I was to believe everything you said EJ," she returned his teasing as he settled behind her and she moved back between his legs, resting her back against his chest, "Everything I do seems to get you hot."

"Believe it," he growled into her neck and she giggled as his arms encircled her and he hugged her back to him tightly.

"Are you comfortable?" she asked him after a minute of soaking quietly.

"I've got a facet jammed between my shoulder blades," he replied calmly, "My legs are cramped up because this tub is too short…"

Sami looked at his bent knees poking out of the water whilst she herself was stretched out completely and had to smile to herself.

"… the bath plug is currently dangerously close to somewhere I don't even want to think about… " he continued on blithely.

"Oh well, we can move if you like," said Sami with a giggle, going to sit up.

"Don't you dare!" he said throatily, tightening his hold on her and stopping her from moving even if she'd wanted to which she didn't, "You didn't let me finish… and I've got my beautiful, finally naked wife in my arms…"

Smiled and settled back in his arms more fully.

"I…" he said, punctuating his next words with kisses to her neck and shoulders, "… am… in… heaven."

"Mmm," sighed Sami happily, letting her head drop back against his chest, "Me too."

She made a rueful face then even though he couldn't see her.

"I feel a bit guilty though," she sighed, "I hope the twins are behaving for Grandma."

"Caroline has their number," smiled EJ, resting his chin on top of her head before dropping a quick kiss to the same, "I'm sure they are all having a ball."

"I was going to leave them with Mom and John," she told him, "But I changed my mind when I caught what John was doing with the twins yesterday."

"Oh," said EJ with a little laugh, "You know about him racing them do you?"

"What?!" exclaimed Sami, sitting up suddenly and looking back at him in horror, "He races our babies?!"

"Oh," grimaced EJ ruefully, "You were talking about something else eh?"

"What?" asked Sami, bewildered, "Like against each other you mean?"

"Aha," nodded EJ and then looked suddenly thoughtful, "There has been talk of giant turtles and the occasional Oompaloompa but I'm pretty sure that hasn't actually eventuated yet… well, certainly the Oompaloompa part anyway."

"Why?" asked Sami in a kind of resigned horror.

"Because Oompaloompa's don't really exist darling," said EJ teasingly.

"Not _why_ the Oompaloompa's EJ!" she rolled her eyes at him, "_Why_ if you knew about this are you letting John continue to do it?!"

"Well," shrugged EJ, "I've watched the twins and they really seem to be enjoying themselves and it's perfectly safe darling – I checked. It's not like he's putting them on a pole over a tank of electric eels and getting them to fight to the death with bamboo sticks."

"Yet," scowled Sami with a shake of her head and turned back round, leaning back against him again, "I tell you EJ – John is completely crazy!"

"But the twins love him darling," he pointed out reasonably.

"The twins are thirteen months old EJ," said Sami with a roll of her eyes, "What do they know?"

EJ paused then and she felt him give a little shrug.

"I love him," he confessed to her and Sami gave up then.

"I love him too," she sighed, sounding resigned to her fate, "But it doesn't make him any less of a nut bag EJ."

"Well that goes without saying," nodded EJ straight faced.

"Do you think he and my Mom will ever work things out?" she pondered.

EJ thought back to his earlier conversation with John about third base and smiled.

"Oh I think it might," he said and then he thought about it a bit more and the sometimes 'interesting' interpretations John seemed to be able to put on the simplest things let alone something as complicated as a love life.

"… or your mother will be filling out a restraining order against him," conceded EJ ruefully, "It's too early to tell at this point."

"If that was the case and they both needed lawyers whose case would you take?" asked Sami, suddenly curious, looking back at him over her shoulder.

"Oh…tough one," said EJ, pursing his lips, "On one hand I've got a blood relative in Uncle John, a man who has opened his house up to our family in our time of need and has been there for me when I needed him to be…"

"All good points," nodded Sami with a little smile.

"But on the other hand a chance to impress a mother in law is always a hard thing to pass up," he continued on thoughtfully, "It's a bit tricky really."

"So?" she prompted him when he left it at that, "Which one would you chose EJ?"

"Well," he said slowly, "Weighing everything up and considering all sides I think my best bet would be to simply fake a coma and wait until the whole thing blows over."

"That is not particularly noble of you EJ," she laughed at him.

"Darling there is nothing noble about getting yourself in the middle of something that you can't possibly win," he said with great certainty, "I'd rather fake a coma and live to fight another day thank you very much."

"My hero," she teased him.

"I'm a modern day hero," he said straight faced, "Pragmatic."

"I suppose I can live with having a pragmatic, coma faking husband," Sami sighed in feigned resignation.

"Well you'd better," said EJ firmly, "Because you're it for me Samantha. There will never be another. If I was to lose you'd I'd never love again - I'd never marry again."

Sami didn't speak for a long time

"You're meant to say that you'd want me to be happy and that if I found someone else to love that you would want me to be happy," he prompted her teasingly.

"Forget that!" snorted Sami inelegantly, "If I die first you're going to be raising those babies and then you'll die alone because if I see you with another woman I will rise from the dead and make your life a walking nightmare… and don't think for one moment that I won't EJ DiMera!"

"So I'm never allowed to love again or re-marry then?" mused EJ thoughtfully, "I see."

Sami looked over her shoulder at him and gave him an unhappy frown. She then straightened up and managed to turn around so that she was now facing EJ, straddling him, water slopping messily over the sides of the bath tub as she did.

"You were the one who just said you would never love another," she accused him.

"And that's true sweetheart," he said with a quirk of his lips and she frowned unhappily at him, amused by their conversation, "But I would want you to be happy… so I guess that makes me the better person eh?"

"Oh right," she sneered, "So you'd be perfectly happy if after you were gone for me to marry again? Is that what you're telling me?"

"After a respectful amount of time has passed," said EJ with a nod of his head, "Of course."

Sami gave him a sceptical look, not believing the calm front that he was putting on for a second.

"So you are alright with the thought of me doing all this," she waved a hand at the hotel room and then their naked bodies, "With another man."

"Oh," said EJ matter of factly, "It won't be _that_ kind of marriage."

"It won't?" queried Sami with a quirk of her lips as she began to see why he was being so reasonable about all this, "What _kind_ of marriage would it be exactly EJ?"

"One of convenience of course Samantha," he said brightly, "You couldn't possibly contemplate sex with another man… I've ruined you for anyone else now."

"Have you indeed?" she laughed at how assured he was of that fact and the truth was he was right but she wasn't going to tell him that while he had that smug look on his face.

"Oh yes," he said in all seriousness, "But you'll need a man around to do the heavy lifting, get the lids off jars and of course take care of the cars… you're not exactly gifted in that area after all - remember the radiator fiasco?"

"How was I meant to know that you had to put water in it all the time?" she grumbled at the memory, "It's not my fault that the engine got cooked - they should have some kind of warning system in the car if it is that important!"

"They do darling," said EJ dryly, "That was the flashing red light on the dash board that you drove around with for a week."

"I thought it was something to do with the security system," she pouted, "If they want a serious alarm it should make a noise! It's only common sense!"

"Whilst a red light flashing the word 'alarm' is completely ambiguous," noted EJ straight faced, "I see your point sweetheart, I should really write a strongly worded letter to the manufacturer about that I think."

Sami shook her head and tried not to smile at his teasing of her which was pretty hard when he broke into one of his dazzling smiles.

"You know my next husband is going to have a lot less smart things to say about my knowledge of cars," she goaded him, eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Quite possibly," he nodded thoughtfully, "I am after all the only one who's been able to give as good as they get from you."

"You are just so full of yourself aren't you?" she said in mock disgust and then tilted her head to one side and gave him a considered look, "Besides, none of this matters anyway – you're not leaving me EJ… ever. Even if you up and die on me I'll find a way to bring you back like you did for me – you are so stuck with me – deal with it!"

Sami saw the sudden flash of pain in his eyes at that last part and frowned, wondering what that was about.

"EJ?" she queried, looking at him intently, "What's wrong? What did I say?"

"Nothing darling," said EJ, trying to reassure her and looking determinedly up beat for her benefit, "Everything is fine."

"Then what was that look for?" asked Sami in concern.

"It's nothing Samantha," he said and smiled at her tenderly, his hands going to her back and running up and down it's length soothingly, "Really."

Sami bit her lip and looked down, knowing that he was hiding something from her despite his comforting words. She looked up then, holding his gaze steadily.

"Why haven't you… " she began to ask but hesitated, "Why didn't you want…?"

"What darling?" asked EJ, giving his own concerned frown now.

"Me," she finished softly, feeling suddenly vulnerable, "Why wouldn't you touch me EJ… after my operation? I know my leg wasn't exactly appealing to look at and it must have been hard for you to look at it… and me."

EJ's eyes widened and he sat up straighter in the tub, looking at her in disbelief.

"You thought we weren't having sex because I had suddenly found you unattractive?" asked EJ in horror, "Samantha! How could you even think such a thing?!"

"Well you weren't talking to me so what was I meant to think EJ?" said Sami, looking suddenly sad and EJ could have kicked himself for being so thoughtless.

"You are and always will be the most beautiful woman in the world to me Samantha," he said urgently, cupping her face with his hands, "You're the mother of my children, my soul mate and it kills me to know that I made you doubt that even for a second."

EJ pulled her closer then, resting his forehead against his own.

"I am so sorry sweetheart," he said earnestly and there was actual pain in his voice, "I never meant you to doubt yourself. It honestly never occurred to me…"

He pulled back a little again and looked her in the eye, giving her a crooked smile.

"… that you would think that I could ever stop wanting you," he finished sorrowfully, "It's such an alien concept that the possibility of you thinking that never even entered my head."

"So what was it EJ?" she asked him achingly, touched by his words of devotion but needing to know, "Every time I tried to get close to you, you kept on pulling further away. How could I not think that it was something I'd done… or not done?"

"It wasn't you Samantha," he said achingly, "It was me… all me."

He looked down at Sami's small hands that were resting lightly on his chest as she straddled him in the bath tub and moved to cover them with his own much larger ones.

"That night…" he whispered, staring down at their now entwined hands, "… than night I watched you die Samantha, right there in front of me… it was the most horrific thing I've ever seen in my life."

"Oh EJ," she said hurriedly, feeling so badly for having put him through that, "I'm sorry… but there was no other way and I knew you'd save me… I just knew it!"

"And what if I hadn't?" he asked her painfully, holding her gaze now and Sami gasped to see the anguish behind their dark depths, "What if I'd lost you forever that night Samantha?"

"EJ…" she began, wanting to remind him that he hadn't but now that he'd started talking EJ couldn't seem to stop himself.

"I saw you in hospital and then at home," he continued on, seeming to be almost talking to himself now as he shook his head, "I saw you getting better all the time but I couldn't let myself enjoy it, couldn't make myself believe it. I just kept feeling like at any minute you were going to be gone again and I'd be left utterly alone and I couldn't bear the thought of a life without you in it. I was just frozen inside and nothing I told myself seemed to make any difference."

"Oh EJ," sighed Sami, cupping his face and kissing the stressed lines of his face tenderly, "Why didn't you tell me any of this – we could have worked through this together."

"You had enough to deal with in your rehabilitation sweetheart," he told her truthfully, "I didn't want to burden you with my silly fears."

"They weren't silly EJ," she said with a shake of her head, "And I hate to think of you suffering in silence all this time."

Sami frowned a little then, looking at him curiously.

"So what changed?" she asked him, "I mean, you're here now and you seem…"

"Back in the game?" he suggested and smiled, feeling suddenly so much lighter for having confessed his worries to her.

"Yes," said Sami with an answering smile.

"Well in part it's due to a certain baby racing, crazy Uncle of mine," admitted EJ with a grin.

"Oh?" said Sami intrigued and then had to laugh, "Well in that case I forgive him for racing the twins but he still can't feed them Roger's food."

"What?!" exclaimed EJ, "He's been feeding Ali and Johnny Roger's food?"

"Yes," said Sami flatly.

"Oh god that man!" said EJ in exasperation, putting his hands over his face and shaking his head in a moment of defeat.

"So what was the other part?" she prompted him, "You said that John was only part of the solution."

EJ dropped his hands from his face and looked at Sami, his eyes moving all over her beautiful face.

"Why my unbelievably sexy, drop dead gorgeous wife of course," he told her, his eyes twinkling now, "How can I ever hope to deny her anything… especially that… when she demands it of me."

"You make me sound like a wanton," sniffed Sami, pretending affront.

"No," he corrected her with a shake of his head, his hands going to her back again, his fingers fanning out as he stroked the soft flesh, "You're _my_ wanton Samantha… "

He held her gaze steadily then and Sami felt a little thrill go through her at the desire she could see in their chocolate depths.

"… and don't you forget it," he finished huskily.

"Perhaps you should remind me?" she suggested, looking ever so innocent, "I can be quite forgetful sometimes you know EJ."

"Is that right?" he growled, holding her gaze as he bent his head and licked at a droplet of water that had trickled down between the valley of her breasts as they had sat talking.

Sami trembled as his hot tongue traced a line up her already heated skin and found herself holding her breath for his next move. She didn't have long to wait.

"Best I get to reminding you then hadn't I Mrs DiMera?" he asked her throatily and promptly attached himself to an already hardened nipple.

Sami whimpered as he took the sensitive peak into his mouth, her finger nails digging in EJ's shoulders and silently encouraging him to continue. She bit down on her bottom lip as she felt his tongue lapping at the tightened bud, her body already responding to him as she felt him hardening against her. Sami's hand slipped beneath the water's surface and found him, encircling his thickness and squeezing, wringing a low groan from deep inside him. In very little time he was ready for her and Sami couldn't wait any longer. She raised herself up, making him break contact with her breast and then sank slowly down on his swollen shaft, both of them trembling as she did.

"Mine," she breathed once he was fully sheathed inside her, tightening her muscles around him repeatedly.

"Oh yes," he sighed, a look of delirium on his face as she tensed and released around him, "All yours."

Sami looked down at him, his face beaded with water from the heat of the steamy bath, the water droplets running down his face and chest and wanted him so badly. She braced her hands on either side of the tub and began to move up and down on him, holding his enraptured gaze as she did. EJ's hands went to her hips and helped guide her, urging her onwards. The water sloshed over the side of the bath tub as their movements quickly picked up speed but neither cared.

"Say my name when you come," he begged her and she nodded mutely, feeling her core already beginning to tighten and wondering if she'd ever be able to get enough of this man tonight… or any other night.

She leant forward more, making sure her breasts were rubbing against his chest with each of her movements, knowing he loved that.

"EJ," she whispered in his ear and felt his hands tighten on her hips, "Oh EJ…"


	52. Chapter 52

**Chapter FIFTY TWO**

Sami rolled onto her side and looked down at her sleeping husband. They'd made it out of the bath tub at last when her fingers and toes had gone all wrinkly and had finally made it to the bed. She smiled at the memory…

**oooOOOOooo**

_Sami pulled the terry towelling bathrobe around her more tightly and walked out from the bathroom into the bedroom._

"_You know EJ," she said slowly, "I just realised something…"_

"_That you're insatiable?" he said teasingly, repeating their earlier conversation but their roles reversed._

"_Oh no," she said blithely, "I knew that."_

_EJ laughed out loud then and she joined in. _

"_So my darling wife…," he said affectionately, walking up to her and putting his arms around her. _

_He hadn't bothered with putting on anything after their bath and was gloriously and unashamedly naked. EJ really didn't embarrass easily… not that he had anything to be embarrassed about of course Sami noted appreciatively. _

"_What is it you've realised?" he asked her, kissing the side of her neck as he did, breathing the fresh smell of her._

"_I've realised that despite us being here for hours already…" she pondered, tilting her head to one side and letting him gain better access to her neck, "… that we still haven't made love in a bed yet."_

_EJ straightened up then and suddenly looked deeply concerned._

"_Really?" he asked her, looking very serious now, "Are you sure darling?"_

"_Pretty much," she nodded, trying not to smile and ruin their game._

"_Hmm," he said, momentarily releasing her so he could check for himself, "Let's see… there was the first time in the elevator…"_

_EJ ticked off each of their love making sessions on his fingers as he went and Sami couldn't stop herself from giving a giggle at the concentration on his face._

"_Then there was your little… ah… act of mercy shall we say just inside the door of our room," continued on EJ._

"_Aha," said Sami, trying to be as serious as he was being. _

"_Then there was that thing you did with your foot over dinner…," he mused, counting off another finger._

"_Are we counting that?" she asked him with a raised eyebrow and a little smirk._

"_I'm counting that," he said very sagely and then gave her a cheeky wink._

"_Well in that case I'm going to count what you did with your hand when we were dancing," said Sami, folding her arms in front of herself and pursing her lips challengingly._

"_Samantha," said EJ, feigning affront, "I'll have you know I was a perfect gentleman during the waltz - I won't have you besmirch my reputation like this!"_

"_I meant during the tango," she said and arched a vaguely accusing eyebrow at him._

"_Oh," he said with a sheepish grin, "Well yes, I was a bit naughty during that I have to admit… but I don't remember hearing any complaints from you my dear."_

"_It wasn't a complaint," she said, the corners of her mouth turning up, "I'm just saying you should count it."_

"_Fair enough," nodded EJ and stuck up another finger, "Now where was I… oh yes… next was the elevator… again."_

_Sami nodded and despite herself felt a little blush touch her cheeks, they really had been a little out of control with that one. _

"… _the bath tub," he persisted and then frowned, "Oh, you're right darling - we haven't made love in a bed yet. That's terrible!"_

"_It is, isn't it," nodded Sami, feigning great concern._

_She gave a hopeless shake of her head then._

"_It only there was something we could do about it," she sighed, looking deeply troubled._

"_Mm," nodded EJ, pretending to be thinking hard about this problem as well as he pulled her back into his arms, "Perhaps if we put our heads together we can come up with a solution eh darling?"_

"_Perhaps…" purred Sami, pulling out of his arms again and undoing the tie of her bathrobe, letting the robe drop to the floor unneeded now._

_EJ's avid gaze was immediately running all over her naked body and Sami yet again thrilled at the power she had over him. _

"… _if we put other parts of our body together instead…" she suggest throatily as she then moved back into his arms, "… we can just… come?" _

"_Oh my," said EJ, swallowing hard, feeling his desire for this woman that was always bubbling away under the surface burst into life yet again, "My wife is a genius."_

"_Yes she is Mr DiMera," Sami purred, going up on her toes to kiss him, "Yes she is…"_

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ stirred in his sleep a little and moved so that he was lying more squarely on his back. He was naked of course as she was except for a sheet pulled up to his hips. She knew she should let him sleep - he'd more than earned it after all but Sami was too happy to sleep and the truth be told she just couldn't get enough of him tonight. EJ began to whistle quietly in his sleep and Sami giggled, wondering if he even knew he did that. It was so cute. He moved again slightly and the whistling stopped and Sami shook her head at him. She put her hand out and rested it on his chest, feeling the vibration of his steadily beating heart through her palm. She moved her fingers back and forth through the light smattering of chest hair that was there. Her hand moved a little lower than, fingers splaying out along the flat expanse of his stomach which felt rock hard even in sleep. He was absolutely the most beautiful man she'd ever seen and to think that he was all hers still made Sami's mind boggle a bit.

Now that she'd started touching him she found that she couldn't stop. Sami's hand moved under the sheet, hand softly moving over the flat angles of his lower stomach now. Ever lower her hand drifted until her fingers were gently stroking the length of his still sleeping member. Sami watched his face for any sign of him being aware of what she was doing. EJ's face took on a decidedly boyish expression when he slept. In fact she saw a great deal of Johnny in her husbands sleeping countenance and felt a surge of love go through her at the thought. EJ had impossibly long eyelashes that were particularly evident as he lay sleeping and both of the twins had inherited that physical attribute. There daughter in particular was going to be grateful for that little gift later on in life when it came to fluttering them at boys… which would of course drive EJ insane… ironic when you thought about it really.

EJ was still soundly asleep but under her hand she could feel another part of him come to life. She knew she should really let him sleep but Sami wanted him again and didn't think she could wait until the morning even though it was only a few hours away now. Somehow she didn't think that EJ would mind if she took matters into her own hand. Sami moved so that she was kneeling over him, one leg on either of his. She bent down then and began to press kisses on his chest and moved down to his hard stomach. Her blonde hair trailed along his skin as well and EJ stirred a little, the soft sensation piercing his subconscious vaguely.

Sami's body ached for his touch as her tongue licked at his skin now, her nipples painfully tight as they craved his ministrations. As though on cue EJ's hands came up and cupped her breasts for her even though he was still mostly asleep. Sami gave a pleased little moan as he began to massage them for her even as he slept. It looked like the twins weren't the only ones who'd gotten him well trained she thought with a smirk. She moved so that she was on all fours now, hands at his shoulders, knees on either side of his hips. Sami still held herself off him, their only contact at the moment was his hands on her breast.

"Nipples," she growled instruction into his ear and he instantly complied, finding the hardened peaks and beginning to pull and tweak them just as she liked.

Even semi unconscious he was the best she'd ever had at stimulating her and Sami felt her body respond instantly, pushing new wetness out of her body, already more than ready for him. Her hand reached down between their bodies, fingers wrapping around his already impressively hard shaft and began to encourage him to thicken even further. They both let out moans then and EJ finally began to wake up. He blinked groggily up at Samantha, trying to focus on her just above him in the dim light. He could feel the delicious weight of her breasts in his palms already and her hand wrapped around his now throbbing length and gave another moan of pure joy.

"Samantha!" he groaned, squeezing his eyes shut and pushing his hard on up into her hand more, "God yes sweetheart!"

"I want you inside me EJ," she said breathlessly, the request sounding almost urgent now.

"Yes!" he hissed, moving so quickly that she was a bit caught off guard as he grabbed her and flipped her over, suddenly on top of her.

In one fluid movement he pushed her legs apart and entered her, wringing strangled gasps from them both.

"So perfect," he choked through gritted teeth, "Every time I'm inside you it's so damn perfect Samantha!"

"Yes," she nodded helplessly, her eyes wide as she felt the last of him slide home inside her, "Oh god EJ… I think there is something wrong with us! How can I want you this much all the time? It's driving me crazy!"

"If there is I don't want the cure," he told her, just as desperate as she was despite having only woken up seconds ago.

EJ moved all of the way out of her before pushing back into her - he groaned, she whimpered.

"More," she gasped, hands grasping at his shoulders now, "Don't ever stop EJ, give me more!"

The initial wildness of their passion had been finally spent from all their earlier love making so it allowed them the luxury of time now and they took it, even as they took each other. EJ would let the pace build between them, the promise of release tantalisingly close and then Sami would get him to slow in his strokes inside her until he almost wasn't moving, letting them both calm down a bit before continuing. They repeated this so many times that they lost count. His penetrations of her becoming increasingly urgent until they were almost there and then the slowing down period, all the while their arousal was growing in depth and urgency.

Sweat began to drip from EJ's body down onto Sami's as he laboured inside of her, using every piece of will power he had to continue in their dance for as long as he could. His body was in agony from all of the friction and his own arousal and could only imagine that Sami was feeling the same but still she would hold on, making him stop his increasingly frantic movements inside of her until she was sure they were both under control again. At some point EJ was convinced he actually lost his mind from wanting her so badly but he was helplessly in her thrall, obeying her every command until eventually he just couldn't take it anymore. He'd gotten so close last time that he almost cried when she pulled on his hips, making him slow down again.

"Please," he begged her desperately, somehow managing to bring himself back under control again but he knew he wouldn't be able to again, he was done and there was no way he was going to be able to stop again once she let him start moving in her again, "I have to come… please sweetheart… let me come!"

Sami grabbed his sweaty hand and pulled him down into a hard kiss, loving to hear the utter desperation in his voice, it getting her even wetter if that was possible at this point. She'd tortured them both for long enough and she needed it to end now too. She broke the kiss and nodded her head at him.

"Yes," she said breathlessly, holding his gaze, "Oh yes EJ."

EJ gave a grateful sob, beginning to thrust himself hard and deep into her. His body took completely over now and he had no control now that he knew he wouldn't have to stop again until he was finally done.

"Oh god!" he gasped helplessly, his hips moving almost violently against her, intent on claiming his prize for his endurance, "Oh god YES!"

Sami wrapped her legs around his waist, urging him on, loving how she could make him lose his mind so utterly like this. EJ wanted to watch her release as much as he wanted to find his own but he knew that he wouldn't be able to focus on anything else other than his own climax with the state she'd worked him into.

"I want… want to see you!" he pleaded with her desperately and Sami knew immediately what he meant by that and tried to hang on for a little longer.

"Yes," she panted, hoping she could do it now, watching him climax nearly always sent her over the edge as well but she would do her best to wait for him.

EJ made a choked grunting sound then, letting go of the last strands of self control he had at her promise. He plunged himself deeply into her one last time and came incredibly hard, harder than he had all night in fact and that was really saying something. Sami bit her lip and tried to hold on as she felt him surge wildly into her, the feeling of his hot seed gushing into her waiting cavern making her tremble and want to come so badly. As did the way he was shuddering and grunting her name helplessly, her body screaming at her to let it join him in his pleasure but still she hung on, waiting for him to come to his senses so he could watch her.

The full weight of him collapsing tiredly against her told her that he was at last done, his sweaty head dropped on her chest as he dragged in lung fulls of desperately needed air after that marathon session of love making but Sami couldn't wait any longer.

"Oh thank you, thank you," he praised her shakily, face buried in her breasts, "Oh god, that was so unbelievable!"

"EJ!" she complained, starting to move under him, her hips thrusting up against him even as he still maintained his place inside of her, glad she'd pleased him but having a rather pressing need of her own.

EJ lifted his head and saw the urgent need in her eyes and gave a little shudder of anticipation knowing he was going to be able to watch her orgasm now. She was always so gorgeous in the throes of passion and it amazed him that she'd been able to control herself during all of that. He kissed her then, slow and deep, his tongue finding hers. Meanwhile his hand had moved between their bodies and finding her nub he began to pleasure it for her. Sami moaned into their kiss, arching her neck as he stimulated the incredibly sensitised bud for her.

She couldn't breath as he wouldn't break the kiss and her breathing was so ragged from the desire that was about to peak. Sami's head began to spin from lack of oxygen and her own arousal so that when her body finally granted her that ultimate release she screamed from the pleasure of it all. Her core pulsated wildly and radiated out to her entire body so that she could feel the pulses even at the ends of her hair it was that intense, so intense in fact that she actually fainted from it all.

Sami came to a couple of seconds later to see EJ's vaguely anxious face above hers and she blinked dazedly, trying to work out what had just happened. Her body was still throbbing pleasurably and she was unbearably conscious of the fact that she still had EJ between her legs, clamped deep inside of her as she pleasured them both with her continuing contractions. EJ cupped her face with the hand that had caused her conniptions in the first place and she could smell her own juices on his fingers and felt another little volley of spasms go through her, making them both groan.

"Samantha?" he asked her unevenly, when he could speak again, "Sweetheart… are you alright?"

"Oh god," she gasped, closing her eyes and dropping her head tiredly back on the bed as a slow smile moved over her face, "I am sooo alright EJ."

EJ had to laugh at the dreamy way she said that and had to agree, he knew exactly how she felt. He cupped her face and kissed her tenderly, both of them slipping back into an exhausted sleep.

**oooOOOOooo**

It was morning now and EJ and Sami had actually let each other get a couple hours of sleep at long last but now they were both awake again and currently indulging in a rather heavy make out session. They were both on their sides, legs entwined as they kissed and cuddled the morning away, enjoying the luxury of not having to get up and tend to the twins needs… only their own. Sami finally managed to break away from his heated kisses eventually though and say something.

"EJ," she began breathlessly.

"Samantha," he returned just as unevenly and moved back to claim her mouth again but she stalled him.

"Wait," she said and had to laugh then when she saw him pout, "I have something I want to talk to you about EJ."

"You shouldn't talk with your mouth full sweetheart," he teased her as he went to kiss her, tongue ready to take up it's position inside her mouth again, "It's rude."

"Stop it!" she laughed and turned her head so that his kiss ended up on her cheek instead and he groaned his complaint.

"Alright," he sighed in mock disappointment, "What is it you want to talk to me about darling?"

Sami lay back on the bed and turned a little away from him so she wouldn't be tempted by his gorgeousness first thing in the morning. She lay there as he snuggled up beside her, a big smile on her face.

"Last night was great wasn't it?" she asked him, "I mean you enjoyed yourself right?"

"How can you even ask me that Samantha?!" asked EJ with a groan and shook his head, "I spent half the night screaming my head off!"

"You did seem pretty enthusiastic," agreed Sami with a giggle.

"As did you my love," he grinned back at her, kissing her shoulder playfully.

"Yeah well," she giggled, "I was just being polite."

"I've always said you've have excellent manners my darling," he said and she could feel his smile against her shoulder.

"When have you _ever_ said that?" she snorted, "If anything you're always correcting my manners EJ!"

"I don't know if requesting you put down the flaming kebab stick you're about to throw at Nicole's head in a crowded restaurant can be classified as correcting your manners," he said with a wry chuckle, "More of a vain attempt at avoiding having to bail you out of prison at some point in our evening's out."

"You make it sound worse than it was," she sniffed and then reached behind him and smacked his thigh, "And remember the rule - no talking about Nicole in our bed!"

"But we're not in our bed," he pointed out reasonably, a smile on his lips, rather hoping for another smack.

"Okay how's this then?" said Sami with a roll of her eyes at her husband's penchant for being pedantic, "No mention of Nicole anytime you're hoping for sex - how does that grab you EJ?!"

"Mm," he pondered what she'd said and snuggled closer, throwing his leg over hers under the sheets, "I'd rather _you_ grabbed me Mrs DiMera."

She looked back over her shoulder to see the cheeky grin he was sporting and tried not to laugh.

"No!" she said when he went to swoop in to claim a kiss, "I haven't said what I wanted to ask you yet!"

"Oh," said EJ in surprise, "I thought that the question was about how great last night was."

"No," said Sami with a smile, "That was more of an observation really."

"Well the suspense is killing me," said EJ with a raised eyebrow, "What's your question darling?"

"I was thinking," Sami began, biting on her lower lip a little nervously now, "This time together has just been simply amazing EJ, the sex has been…"

"Life altering?" he suggested, looking at her adoringly, "Mind blowing, euphoric…"

"Yes," she laughed, sensing that he was going to go on endlessly if she didn't stop him, "It's always breath takingly good when we've waited isn't it? So I was thinking… why don't we wait until our wedding night before we make love again? You know, build the suspense between us again."

EJ blinked and then blinked again, not answering her immediately.

"But it's November 29th today," he reminded her.

"I know," nodded Sami, looking at him hopefully.

"Our wedding isn't until December 24th," continued on EJ, sounding strangely calm.

"I know," repeated Sami, trying to read is expression.

"That's 25 days," calculated EJ, almost to himself, "That's six hundred hours without being able to make love to you Samantha."

"Wow!" said Sami, her eyes widening in amazement, "You worked that out _really_ fast EJ!"

"I'm highly motivated at the moment," said EJ dryly wondering if she actually understood what she was asking of him.

EJ shook his head, trying to wrap his head around this suggestion of Sami's.

"So to recap," said EJ slowly, propped up on his elbow as they lay together in bed, "You lure me to this hotel, seduce the crap out of me…"

"Oh," said Sami dryly, with a roll of her eyes, "You make that sound so beautiful EJ - I'm so glad that fancy education of yours is finally paying off."

"… give me a night of the most mind blowing sex I've ever had the great joy to experience," he continued on, ignoring her teasing, "And then at the end of it when I'm unsure if I will ever let you leave this bed again because all these last blissful hours of unfettered lovemaking have succeeded in doing is make me want you more than ever before…"

Sami smiled at that and had to admit she knew how he felt.

"… and you're asking me if it would be alright…" he continued on carefully, "Now that you have me in a frenzy of want and need… if we don't have sex again for another six hundred hours. Have I understood that correctly Samantha?"

"Um," Sami shrugged, knowing it sounded a little crazy when he said it like that, "Pretty much, yes EJ."

EJ held her gaze steadily and wondered if this woman would ever cease to amaze him - he rather imagined and hoped not.

"Samantha," said EJ straight faced, scratching at his chin with one finger and looking down at her, "You do remember that my father disinherited me don't you?"

"Yes," she frowned, wondering why he was bringing that up suddenly, "Of course, why?"

[IMG].com/albums/kk96/Loublue1/Wild%[/IMG]

"Well I just wanted to make sure that you knew that there was no point to putting me into an early grave," he said quite seriously, "There is no money in it for you."

"EJ," she laughed at him, "No one ever died from not having sex you know!"

"That's because they hadn't met you sweetheart," he said, still looking very solemn, "I think making love to my wife on a very regular basis has become a necessity for living for me now… like water and oxygen."

"Oh," smiled Sami and gave him a quick kiss, "That is so sweet EJ - a complete load of BS but still, sweet BS."

"Alright," he complained, "I may not actually die - it will just feel like death!"

"EJ," wheedled Sami, "It will be hard for me too. I want you… all the time, every minute of every day I want you. Sometimes when you're at work and I know I can't have you right there and then I go to our bed and lie down in it. I smell you all around me and it's like you're there and I lie back and…"

"Okay Samantha," he said, his voice cracking a little on her name as he began to look a little distressed now, "Just so you know sweetheart, the mental image of you in our bed fantasising about me when I'm at work is in no way helping your case for self imposed abstinence… in fact it's getting me quite hard just hearing you talk about it."

"Oh," said Sami ruefully and could feel proof of his words against her thigh, "Sorry."

"So you really want to do this?" asked EJ with a little frown, knowing he'd find the strength from somewhere if she asked him to.

"Last night was so amazing EJ," she said softly, "Having to wait like that just made everything so much more…"

Sami faltered to find the right words and he smiled tenderly at her, knowing what she meant.

"I know," he said quietly, "It was extraordinary - it always is when we come back together after being apart."

"I jut thought it would make our wedding night special," said Sami wistfully, "I mean, I know it's not really our wedding night because we're already married and everything but our actual wedding night you spent in surgery fighting for you're life. I just wanted to make this one extra special for us."

"Anytime with you is extra special Samantha," EJ told her with a warm smile, looking at her adoringly, "And I agree, the waiting for each other makes it even more so."

"So…?" said Sami hesitantly, looking at him through her lashes, "Is that a yes?"

"I know there is going to be a thousand times I am going to regret saying this," he smiled at her, "But yes Samantha, no more sex until the wedding, I promise."

"Really?" asked Sami, her face lighting up although later she too would wonder what the hell she'd been thinking when the realities of not having sex with EJ kicked in but right now she was on a high from their extended lovemaking session and felt like she could do anything, "Oh EJ!"

Sami threw her arms around his neck and began kissing him wildly all over his face.

"Thank you, thank you!" she said happily whilst he laughed at her enthusiasm.

EJ doubted she'd thought this through properly yet as had he but all EJ knew for sure was that there was going to be a lot of running, swimming and gym time in his immediate future somehow.

"So let's just get the rules straight here shall we darling?" he said laughingly when she finally stopped raining kisses down on him, "So by no sex do you just mean actual intercourse but we can still fool around…?"

"Nothing that leads to orgasms," said Sami with a definite shake of her head.

"Tricky," mused EJ, pursing his lips, "Because just looking at you makes me want to come… I do hope I don't have to wear a blind fold for the next six hundred hours."

"No blind folds," she laughed, "We can kiss but I'm drawing the line at any below the waist activity, you and I both know we won't be able to help ourselves if we start down that track."

"True," sighed EJ and then gave her a suddenly devilish look, "So when exactly does the moratorium on sex begin Samantha?"

"Oh," said Sami thoughtfully but with a little smile on her face when she saw the twinkle in his eyes and knew what he was thinking, "I'd say definitely when we get home."

"So we're not home yet though," he pointed out hopefully.

Sami looked around their hotel room and then back down at EJ.

"You know," she said laughingly, "You make an excellent point EJ."

"I do don't I," grinned EJ and closed the distance between them, capturing her lips in playful kiss, "So I'd better make this count."

"Yes you had," she giggled, melting into the kiss, "Yes you had Mr DiMera."


	53. Chapter 53

**Chapter FIFTY THREE **

Sami and EJ walked up the front path of the DiMera mansion, hand in hand, Sami leaning into her husband as they walked along. After another extremely enjoyable love making session in the hotel they had finally checked out and were now arriving home. Caroline had rung and said that she would bring the twins around at lunch time and EJ and Sami had insisted she stay for lunch as a thank you for looking after Ali and Johnny. They were at the front door now and Sami went to open the door but EJ pulled on her hand, spinning her around and backing her up against the door. Sami gasped in surprise but he didn't give her a chance to react beyond that as he captured her mouth in a series of passionate and almost desperate kisses.

"What was that?" she panted breathlessly when he finally let her speak again.

"We're not in the house yet," he reminded her, looking at her hopefully, his brown eyes full of mischief.

"EJ!" she exclaimed with a laugh and shook her head.

"Six hundred hours Samantha," he groaned against her neck, pressing his long body against hers, "We won't be able to do this again for six hundred hours!"

His hands went to her backside, pulling her roughly against him and she shuddered as she felt him already hardening against her. He was a total machine apparently when it came to this whole ready and willing anytime, any place thing and Sami felt an answering need immediately. She had a sudden flash of concern about what she'd just done, worrying now that they wouldn't actually have the slightest chance of being able to keep their hands off each other for basically a month just through sheer will power. Sami gave it a valiant attempt though.

"EJ," she complained with a groaning laugh, knowing she was going to give in but trying to appear like she had some self control, "I can barely walk after last night as it is!"

"Is your leg alright?" he asked, suddenly concerned, "Are you in pain sweetheart?"

"It's not my leg EJ," she said with a roll of her eyes, "Think a little higher and yes, I'm a little tender."

"Oh," he smiled, relieved now, "Well you know what you need for that then?"

"What?" she asked him, pretty certain where he was going with that.

"For Dr EJ to kiss it all better," he said smugly.

"I don't know Dr EJ," she said teasingly, "I think I'd like to see your qualifications before I let you have free reign."

"Ah see tricky," said EJ ruefully, "All my experience is pretty much in the field, hands on kinds of stuff."

"I see," said Sami, trying not to laugh now as she wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned into him, "I suppose I could perhaps consider… OHH!"

Sami squealed as EJ apparently had heard enough and moved suddenly, sweeping her off her feet and into his arms.

"EJ!" she exclaimed in shock, "What are you doing?!"

"Privacy," he said simply and promptly started to carry her around the side of the house.

"Oh my god you're serious!" said Sami, looking at him wide eyed disbelief, "EJ - we can't do this!"

"Six hundred hours," said EJ grimly and then looked at her almost desperately as he hurried along with her in his arms still, "We _have_ to do this Samantha!"

EJ stepped off the path and into the bushes, going in with his back first, pushing through the dense foliage so that he was protecting Sami as he did. Once surrounded by all the bushes EJ finally put her down and Sami shook her head at him.

"You're crazy," she informed him with affectionately.

"It I am it's all your fault Mrs DiMera," he smiled back at her, drawing her into his arms and kissing her hard, "Loving you has made me utterly crazed and I love every single second of it."

"Mm," she sighed happily, nipping at his bottom lip as she felt his hands go to her backside again, "I do good work alright."

"Yes you do," he grinned, stopping her playful teasing of him by beginning to kiss her in earnest now.

Not allowing himself to break his passionate kisses EJ began to walk forwards, backing Sami up until she finally felt something hard at her back and realised he'd backed her up against a tree. His hands went to her hips, pulling on the material of her skirt and hiking it right up to her thighs whilst her hands went to his pants. The feel of her small hands on his increasingly stiffening member made EJ groan and he closed his eyes, trying to burn the sensation on his brain because after these few stolen moments this kind of touching was going to be off limits. EJ felt her hand encircle his girth and squeeze hard and groaned raggedly.

_Oh god he must have been out of his mind to agree to not having her touch him like this for another month!_

Still kissing her deeply his hand found it's way up between her legs and pulling aside her panties he inserted a finger into her core, incredibly gratified to find her already so wet for him. It was just another thing that drove him to distraction about her, how quickly she became aroused for him. It was Sami's time to moan now as he began to move his finger in and out of her quickly, angling it in such a way that it hit just the perfect spot inside her every time. Sami shuddered and began to return the favour by stroking and squeezing his quickly swelling member. EJ responded by inserting another finger and then another inside of her, stretching her and making her cry out loudly.

"You!" she gasped, unable to stand it any longer, "I want _you_ EJ!"

EJ was more than happy to oblige her, grabbing her backside again and lifting Sami up off her feet as she wrapped her legs around his waist, sliding into her waiting heat in one powerful motion, making them both cry out.

"Samantha!" he grunted as he began to plumb her depths with almost instant urgency, very conscious that this was the last time he would have this particular delight for a long time.

Sami clung to him helplessly, happy to surrender herself to his masterful skills when it came to wringing pleasure from her body, whispering words of encouragement in his ear as they bought each other ever closer to that perfect moment of release.

**oooOOOOooo**

Smokey scratched at the ground and casually pecked at a little unsuspecting bug that he found there. Today had been a good day so far. He'd marked more of his territory, put a couple of flamingos in their place, long legged freaks that they were and found a juicy worm and a particularly large beetle to eat. All in all it had been a very fruitful morning. He'd also spent some time pulling out some old tail feathers seeing as he was moulting at last. However, his hopes of his tail feathers being fully returned to their former glory didn't look like eventuating as after the attempt on his life by the strange, long legged creature that roosted in the big box it appeared there was some permanent damage done and a section of tail feathers simply weren't growing back.

At first this had greatly annoyed Smokey, being disfigured thusly. So much so that he'd taken to roosting of a night time on top of the smaller box the long legged creature would climb into every day and drive away in it because it seemed to annoy the thing for some reason. But after thinking about it for a while he decided that he didn't actually mind having only half a tail. It gave him a toughened, street cred to the other birds and let everyone know he wasn't a bird to be messed with. He still would climb all over the long legged creature's noisy box like thing just for some fun and to show him who was boss but he was learning to enjoy having half a tail, one bonus being it was a lot less weight to drag around after him as well.

Some strange noises caught Smokey's attention then and as self appointed watchman slash overlord of all that he surveyed he figured he should check it out. It rather sounded like an animal in it's death throes and Smokey wondered idly if he should get some back up from his brethren but shrugged it off. None of those losers were going to be much help in a fight - what were they going to do… preen something to death?! No, Smokey had already worked out that if you needed a job done right you had to do it yourself. He followed the strangled noises, pushing his way through the underbrush and bushes that littered his domain until he came to a little area, completely surrounded by shrubs and he saw what was responsible for all the noise.

The long legged creature appeared to be wrestling for dominance with the smaller, noisier thing from the giant box. Smokey had a working theory that they were actually some kind of mutant flamingos with those long legs and pink bodies. Ugly as hell of course but you couldn't really blame them for that he supposed. He'd dominated the flamingos pretty easily, for all their height they didn't have a lot else going for them and was now working on the ones in the big box. It was harder though because apart from the black one who came out and chatted with him daily, the other's seemed to spend an inordinate about of time in the box. Smokey wasn't even sure why. He'd been in there and it was nothing to write home about - no trees, no bushes, no grass or dirt to scratch in - he honestly didn't see the appeal. Admittedly a lot of good things to roost on top of but apart from that he couldn't see why the insisted on staying for so long inside of it.

Smokey looked quizzically at the two creatures, tilting his head to one side as they still seemed to be tussling away noisily. He looked up and down the full length of the long legged one, the smaller, noisy one almost completely obscured from his gaze now and fluffed his feathers waiting patiently. He figured that he'd just wait to see who won the fight and simply take that one down, thus reinforcing his dominance. He didn't have long to wait as the smaller one made a noise that sounded like the big one had killed her, making the winner the one who'd attempted to drown him when he'd first gotten here.

Smokey was going to enjoy this.

**oooOOOOooo**

"Oh my god EJ," gasped Sami weakly, still shaking from her climax, "How do you keep getting me to do that?!"

"Mm," groaned EJ happily, feeling the glow from all of those endorphins coursing through his body from the force of his release, "You make me feel so good sweetheart."

They kissed then, languid and unhurried, enjoying the aftermath one last time before crossing the threshold of the DiMera mansion and enforcing their ban on sex for the next 25 days. EJ reluctantly pulled out of her as he did, feeling her unwrap her legs from around his waist so he could put feet back on the ground again. They continued to kiss for a while longer and EJ knew he should perhaps at least pull up his pants that were currently pooled around his ankles because the cool November air was a bit chilly on his naked buttocks but he couldn't be bothered, preferring instead to continue kissing his wife.

"I love you," sighed Sami dreamily when they finally broke for some much needed air.

"I love you Sama…AAAAGGGHH!"

Sami started as EJ basically screamed in her face and jerked away from her, swinging around and taking a couple of steps backwards.

"BLOODY HELL!" he cried out and Sami looked at him wide eyed as his hands went to his still naked backside.

"What happened?" asked Sami anxiously, eyes riveted to EJ, not even seeing Smokey yet, "Are you alright? Did you get stung or something?"

"He BIT me!" exclaimed EJ, pointing an accusing finger at Smokey who was regarding the carry on with a look of disdain.

_Looks like he showed him who was boss!_

Sami turned her head, seeing Smokey for the first time and realised what had happened. For some unknown reason the peacock must have decided to have a bit of a peck at EJ in a rather unfortunate place.

"The little sod bit my bum!" confirmed EJ in annoyance, pulling up his pants and glaring menacingly at Smokey who if EJ didn't know any better, he would have sworn that he was smiling.

Sami quickly covered her mouth with her hand so EJ couldn't see her smile but the choked sound of laughter pretty much gave her away.

"It's not funny Samantha!" he raged at her with a frown, rubbing the offending area on his backside through his pants.

"It could have been worse EJ," she managed, biting on her cheek to stop herself from simply bursting into loud laughter, "You could have been facing him when he decided to go in for the kill."

Smokey, his work here now done and satisfied that there was no question as to who was top bird in this territory simply turned around and walked back into the shrubs, disappearing from sight.

"This isn't over you feathered menace!" EJ called out after him, still scowling unhappily as he gave his backside a final rub and shook his head in annoyance.

"_Now_ do you believe he's Satan?" asked Sami sweetly, pleased to be proven right at last.

"Humph," said EJ unhappily, "He's the thing that gives Satan nightmares!"

Sami giggled at that and he gave her a rueful smile.

"Well that somewhat killed the moment eh sweetheart?" he said with a little self deprecating laugh.

"It certainly made our last snuggle memorable," she agreed laughingly.

"Aren't out snuggles always memorable?" he pouted and looked a little put out.

"Yes they are honey," she reassured him, going up and giving him a quick hug before starting to lead him back to the house, "It's just they generally don't involve wildlife."

"Thank god for that!" said EJ, sounding very heart felt about that fact.


	54. Chapter 54

**Chapter FIFTY FOUR**

"How's your butt?" asked Sami cheekily as he opened the front door of the mansion for her and let her walk in first.

"Sore," he pouted.

"Looks like your doctoring skills are going to come in handy after all," she said cheekily, "You'll be able to kiss it all better now."

"Funny," he growled, the corners of his lips turning up thought showing he wasn't really bothered.

"Come on EJ," she cajoled him, starting to laugh now as they walked into the sitting room, "I'm sure you could almost reach… OH MY GOD!"

Sami's merciless teasing of him came to an abrupt halt when they walked into the room and the first thing they saw was John and Marlena locked in a passionate kiss. Marlena pulled away when she heard Sami's shocked exclamation and looked almost guilty, pulling a little out of John's arms, much to his displeasure. EJ just grinned, amused at finally being on the other end

"Mom?" said Sami, still in shock, "John? What are you _doing_?"

"I thought you of all people would know the answer to that," said John flatly.

"What does that mean?" scowled Sami unhappily.

John just raised his eyebrows and Sami flushed, knowing she probably didn't want him to actually answer that really.

"How was your evening honey?" asked Marlena, deciding to turn the conversation to safer waters.

"Not as eventful as yours apparently Mom," said Sami, with a little bit of a frown, trying to get her head around this latest development in her mother and John's relationship.

It wasn't that she hadn't been expecting it… it was just a little unexpected that's all - if that made any sense at all.

"Unlikely," snorted EJ in a rare display of him not thinking before speaking.

Sami glared back at him, certainly not wanting to go into any details about their many sexual forays of last night and this morning.

"Sorry," grimaced EJ, "Slipped out."

When Sami just continued to look at him very unhappily he held up his hands defensively.

"You can't be mean to me Samantha," he protested and made himself look as pathetic as he could, "I'm wounded."

"What did the wild cat do to you?" asked John, suddenly interested now.

"Nothing," huffed Sami, folding her arms in front of her chest, "Why would you assume it had anything to do with me John?"

"History," shrugged John.

"How exactly were you wounded EJ?" frowned Marlena, looking him up and down for any signs of injury.

He looked ever so slightly dishevelled as though he'd tripped or something and fallen on the ground but it was only because he was usually so immaculately groomed that it was even noticeable.

"Oh… ah…" EJ hesitated, not really wanting to get into any details here for fear of certain questions being asked.

"Smokey bit him on the butt," announced Sami and smiled sweetly at him.

EJ rolled his eyes at his wife's disclosure. That smile was going to be wiped from her face pretty quickly when John started asking his inevitable questions.

"What were you doing to him?" asked John accusingly, clearly more concerned about Smokey than EJ's butt.

"I wasn't _doing_ anyone… ah thing, I wasn't doing anything Uncle," EJ corrected himself hastily and caught yet another unimpressed look from his wife at his slip of the tongue.

"When did this happen?" asked Marlena curiously.

"Just now, out in the garden," said Sami with a smirk, still not thinking quite far enough ahead.

"Why were you out in the garden?" asked Marlena, taking over John's role of chief inquisitor.

"Oh," said Sami and faltered, looking over at EJ, suddenly realising the can of worms she'd opened up.

"We just went for a stroll in the fresh air before we came inside," said EJ smoothly, smiling at Sami.

"Yes," said Sami quickly, "That's right."

"And what?" asked John sceptically, "Smokey just attacked you for no good reason? That doesn't sound like him."

"Please," said Sami with a roll of her eyes, "That sounds _exactly_ like that demon bird!"

"You must have been doing something that scared him," pondered John.

"We weren't doing anything!" exclaimed Sami, her cheeks starting to colour a little, "We were just standing there, doing nothing, fully clothed!"

"Very convincing," said EJ ironically, "Thank you sweetheart."

Sami bit her lip, knowing she'd just made things a whole lot worse and by the look on her mother and John's faces they pretty much knew what she and EJ were doing in the garden together.

"Hm," said John clearly unconvinced, "I'm reserving judgement until I get Smokey's version of events."

"Good you do that Uncle John," said EJ with a shake of his head.

"Well now that you're here I've got some… business matters I need to discuss with you Elvis," said John.

"Oh," said EJ and smiled, happy to be off the subject at least but a little wary of the slight hesitation John had used before the word business, "Of course."

"We'll go to my study," said John.

"Alright," nodded EJ and looked down at Sami, "Is that alright darling?"

"Aha," said Sami with a little look of regret in her eyes for him alone to see, "Just don't be too long okay, the twins and Grandma won't be too far away."

"I'm sure it won't take long," said EJ and if it was what he thought it was going to be about he'd make sure of it.

EJ kissed Sami's cheek and John pulled Marlena into his arms and planted one on her before looking back at EJ and Sami almost defiantly. Neither EJ and Sami commented and John looked happy enough with that and headed out the room. EJ made a little grimacing face to the two women and silently followed him.

**oooOOOOooo**

"Well I found third base," announced John happily once they were in his study, confirming EJ's worse fears that they weren't here to talk about matters of law, "And it is _way_ _better_ than second base!"

"So I'm to take it from your enthusiasm that everything went well last night Uncle?" asked EJ, hoping against hope that John would just agree and leave it at that.

_No such luck._

"It was great!" said John excitedly, clearly keen to share the experience and EJ braced himself as best he could for the inevitable onslaught, "You know, I wasn't that sure in the beginning…"

"Oh well, as long as it all worked out in the end," interrupted EJ blithely, hoping to pre-empt any further discussion on the subject but he knew that look on John's face - it was a vain hope.

"… it's like when I first tried mussels," continued on John as though he hadn't spoken, thinking aloud now, "They were kind of tough to get into and a bit hairy on the outside and man - not much to look at - all kind of wet and gooey. But once you took that leap of faith and put it in your mouth and swallowed… turns out… _they_ _rock_!"

EJ had to grab at a nearby chair to support himself as his knees felt suddenly weak.

"Oh god," he said faintly at John's incredibly graphic description and tried for all of his worth not to think about and certainly not picture the particular 'mussel' John was referring to.

This whole 'no sex' thing he and Sami had agreed to might not be that difficult after all after a few more conversations like this with John thought EJ weakly to himself. John for once seemed to notice the distress he was causing the other man and cocked his head inquiringly at him.

"Elvis?" he said, arching an eyebrow, "Are you alright - you look kind of pale all of a sudden?"

"It's… it's probably something I ate," said EJ indistinctly, trying to decide if he was going to pass out or not.

John grinned then and opened his mouth and EJ had a sudden horror about what he was about to say something unforgivable about certain unmentionable things being eaten.

"NO!" said EJ fiercely, holding up a warning finger to him and shaking his head frantically, "NO! You are never to voice that sentence in your head Uncle John - do you hear me - NEVER!"

John closed his mouth and frowned, looking a little put out but EJ didn't care, as long as he just didn't say whatever horror had just come to his incredibly odd mind. EJ also decided that it might be a good time to close the doors to the study. No point in anyone else in the house being permanently psychologically scarred for life. EJ walked over and closed the heavy double doors whilst John sipped at his glass of scotch thoughtfully.

"So anyway," shrugged John, wondering what his step daughter had done to him last night to make him more uptight than usual, "I've got a few questions for you that came up during the course of last night's activities."

"You do?" sighed EJ in resignation.

"Aha," nodded John thoughtfully, "Like for instance, is there some kind of trick that I should know about when you're with someone and even though you don't want to yet, you're about to…"

"Wait!" demanded EJ, holding up an imperious hand, "I need some fortification before we go any further."

John arched his eyebrows but didn't say anything further and EJ nodded before dropping his hand and walking out of the room. John went and sat down in one of the arm chairs in his study and patiently put his questions for EJ into alphabetical order in his head while he waited for the younger man to return.

**oooOOOOooo**

"… so that's why I suggested to EJ that he and I should, you know, abstain until the wedding," said Sami with a little shrug and then looked at her mother ruefully, "Do you think I'm crazy?"

"I think," smiled Marlena, tucking a wayward stand of blonde hair behind her daughter's ear lovingly, "That my daughter is a hopeless romantic and I for one am very happy to see that."

Marlena was also pleased that her daughter obviously felt free enough around her to share such intimate information and was very glad that their relationship was back on track after so long. She'd matured into such a fine young woman, still wild and unpredictable at times but so much more than that now. Marlena knew that EJ had had a large part to do with that maturing process and she made a silent promise to herself to thank him for that very soon.

"Now all we have to do is do it," said Sami with a sigh, "Or more to the point, not do it."

Marlena gave a laugh at that and Sami realised what she'd said. She bit her lip and the two of them shared a little giggle together, like girls do over such things.

"I love you Mom," said Sami, really meaning it more than she ever had before.

"I love you too sweetie," smiled Marlena, "I'm just so very proud of you Sami."

"Thanks Mom," said Sami, suddenly feeling a little emotional but smiling back at her, "That means a lot to hear you say that."

"I'm just sorry that I haven't said it more often," said Marlena with a little shake of her head, putting her hand over Sami's.

"I'm sorry that I haven't given you more cause to say it Mom," said Sami ruefully, "But I promise you Mom, you don't have to worry about me anymore."

"I'll always worry about you Sami," tutted Marlena gently, "You're my baby girl."

Sami's smiled widened at her mother's words, feeling very loved all of a sudden. She gathered all her courage than and asked the question she'd been dying to ask ever since she'd arrived home and found her and John in a lip lock.

"So…?" Sami hesitated, trying to find a way to put this delicately, "You and John…?"

"Things are progressing," nodded her mother with a little smile.

"And you're okay with that?" asked Sami a little nervously.

"You know," said Marlena thoughtfully, "He's not the same man I married…"

"And how," said Sami with a roll of her eyes.

"But he is still a good man," said Marlena, "I mean, I know it's confusing and well, impossible sometimes and there is all this history between us complicating everything. But when we're alone, just the two of us… there is just something about him that… something that I just can't ignore."

Sami gave a little smile, knowing what she meant.

"The heart wants what the heart wants huh Mom?" asked Sami ruefully, having had a little experience with a similar situation in her life, "I know how that is."

"I suppose you do honey," said Marlena with a soft smile.

"And everything worked out so great for EJ and I," said Sami, looking at Marlena very seriously, "It was so hard for so long but now everything is just amazing and I want that for you and John too Mom. He really loves you… I mean, it's John love… but it's real."

"I know," said Marlena quietly, "And I love him… I always will, no matter what."

They both looked up then as EJ walked into the room, an harassed look on his face, unaware of the little mother/daughter moment he was interrupting. He didn't say anything, just headed straight for the drinks tray.

"EJ!" exclaimed Sami taken aback, "It's only ten o'clock in the morning and you're drinking?!"

"It's for medicinal purposes," said EJ stoically, pouring himself a very large scotch and not turning around.

"Hurry up Nephew!" called out John from the other room, "I've got some drawings I want you to take a look at."

"Oh god," whimpered EJ and promptly picked up the entire decanter of scotch along with his already very full glass and turned around and faced the bemused looks from Sami and Marlena.

"Ladies," he nodded to them each in turn, clutching on tightly to his decanter of precious and hopefully mind altering alcohol.

Without another word he turned around and headed out of the room and to his fate. As EJ walked back to John he morosely considered how things had come to this. A few short hours ago he was in seventh heaven, having rediscovered his mojo and how, with his gorgeous wife. The tantalising promise of many more love making sessions stretching out before him and he couldn't have been happier.

And now, now his fortune had suddenly changed in the worst possible way.

In a fit of rampant stupidity he'd agreed to abstaining from sex with Samantha for an entire month basically which probably had a lot to do with the fact he'd had his hand on her boob when she'd asked him about it. God damn but those breasts of hers got him into trouble on a regular basis! Why couldn't he control himself around them although he supposed he was about to get a lot of practice at it now. EJ sighed heavily at the thought. So after the no sex thing things had continued on their downward spiral. He was enjoying a very special moment with his gorgeous and now off limits wife when he was set upon by a crazed bird.

_What the hell had that been about??!_

He and Smokey were heading for a show down and EJ just knew he wasn't going to be in any kind of mood for his nonsense in the next month. He was pretty certain that there was only going to be one thing that he was in the mood for and it didn't involve taking any nonsense from maniacal peacocks! And now, oh joy of joys, to add to the ache in his front and the pain in his butt he now had to sit through listening to the ins and outs - and EJ had a feeling that it was going to be literally that - of his Uncle's first real sexual experience that he remembered with of all people his mother in law. And, it appeared, there was going to be illustrations.

_Perfect… just bloody perfect._

EJ swallowed the entire glass of scotch in one go as he walked along to the study and grimaced at the alcoholic bite, promptly pouring himself another glass. His plan was to get well and truly loaded before he even made it to John's study. It wasn't exactly an inspired plan but it was either that or stick sharp things in his ears to deafen himself and gouge out his eyes.

This seemed a less permanently disfiguring way to go really.


	55. Chapter 55

**Chapter FIFTY FIVE**

Sami and EJ climbed into bed together that night and both gave a grateful sigh in unison. They turned to look at each other and promptly laughed.

"What was your sigh for?" he teased her.

"Finally getting our berserk children fed, cleaned, in bed and please God - asleep!" grinned Sami, "They were wild today when Grandma bought them back. It's like they used all their goodness for her and we get left with devil spawn!"

"They were full of beans," agreed EJ ruefully.

"So what was your sigh about?" asked Sami, giving him a playful nudge as they sat up in bed together.

EJ hesitated, pretty certain that Sami would not want to hear about his conversation with John somehow - hell, _he_ didn't want to hear his conversation with John!

"It's just been a big day," he told her, "Guess I'm just a bit tired."

"Well I didn't let you get much sleep last night," giggled Sami.

"That you didn't," said EJ with an answering grin, "But I am in no way complaining about that!"

He looked at her then and pursed his lips.

"So we start the 'no sex' thing now I guess," he said in resignation.

"Yes we do," said Sami, not sounding all that thrilled about it now that she had his warm body lying next to her again and all she wanted to do was jump on top of him and have her wicked way with him.

"But I still get a goodnight kiss though don't I?" asked EJ hopefully.

"Of course," said Sami quickly, leaning over to kiss him, "Of course."

One kiss quickly became two though and then three became four and all of a sudden Sami found herself underneath EJ, their hips grinding together as their arousal grew.

"Oh no!" said EJ and pushed himself off her and rolled over, "Oh no!"

Sami lay there panting, her body humming and wanting more of his kisses and more of his touches, feverishly so.

"Oh no," she agreed weakly.

They turned their heads and looked at each other hopelessly.

"I can't stay here can I?" asked EJ with a groan of frustration.

The way they were around each other they'd most likely be doing one another in their sleep after a day or two.

"No," said Sami, sounding incredibly sad about that fact.

"Right," sighed EJ heavily and hauled himself off the bed very reluctantly and grabbed his pillow.

"I'll be in the spare room if you need me," he said distractedly, eyes roaming all over her body as she lay sprawled out on their bed.

He knew she'd be already wet for him and the thought made him tighten his grip on his pillow until all the blood left his knuckles.

"So I'll be going then," said EJ weakly, starting to back up, his eyes still riveted to her.

Sami propped herself up on her elbows and watched him back out of the room forlornly, cursing herself for causing this problem in the first place. What the hell had she been thinking?!

"So this is me going," said EJ, his hand on the door knob now.

"Bye," she said faintly, fighting valiantly against the urger to leap out of bed and throw EJ to the ground and just have him then and there.

EJ gave her one last lingering and incredibly lust filled look and walked through the door, closing it behind him. Sami waited until she was sure he'd be gone and groaned loudly, flopping back on the bed.

This… was… going… to… kill… her!

EJ shoved his pillow under his arm as he tromped down the hallway to the dreaded spare room. He'd spent the last three weeks trying to avoid being in the same bed as Sami simply because he was worried about her finding out about his now cured nightmares and looks like he'd gotten his wish now… when he no longer to.

Irony bit the big one he decided dourly.

His mood was not improved any by meeting his uncle coming from his room and obviously heading towards Marlena's. He'd told John about his and Samantha's little arrangement, mainly so they could stop talking about John and Marlena during their little chat. They met halfway and John silently looked him up and down, correctly figuring out what had happened. If EJ had been looking for some words of comfort or quiet understanding from his uncle he was going to be sorely disappointed.

"Oh how the worm has turned huh Nephew?" gloated John, clearly expecting a big night for himself and Blondie.

"You know Uncle John," said EJ sarcastically, "You do seem to have the knack for taking a difficult situation and making it seem worse somehow - so cheers for that!"

"You don't get any sympathy from me Elvis," shrugged John, "What kind of idiot goes along with the no sex for a month thing with no good reason?"

"_This_ kind of idiot," sighed EJ dejectedly.

"She was naked when you agreed to it right?" asked John suddenly all knowing on the subject.

"Aha," nodded EJ morosely and made a silent promise to himself that he would never again make any kind of agreement with Samantha whilst she was naked - it was just too damn distracting.

"Yeah," sighed John stoically, "It's hard to say no to naked boobs."

EJ nodded and they shared a quiet moment together.

"Well," said John brightly, obviously having used up all his empathy reserves for now and having more pressing matters on his mind, "I'm planning on sliding into home base tonight so I've got to go."

EJ wrinkled his nose at that, not wanting to have that particular mental image in his head just as he was going to bed but it did help with the whole aroused state Samantha left him in so swings and roundabouts on that one really.

"Humph," he grunted, not overly impressed that his uncle was getting some and he wasn't.

"Any last words of advice Nephew?" asked John happily.

"Remember to take off your cleats," grumped EJ over his shoulder as he kept walking to his new room.

John frowned then, not overly sure what a cleat was but as he fully intended on getting buck naked anyway he figured he'd have it covered. John stuck his hands in his pockets and continued on his way to Blondie's room, starting to whistle "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" loudly as he did. John stopped in surprise. He didn't know he could whistle! Looks like tonight was going to be a chance to do a few things he hadn't done in a while. A big smile covered John's face at that thought and he kept walking.

**oooOOOOooo**

"So how was your evening Uncle?" asked EJ calmly, opening a little cup of yoghurt each for the twins, handing them each a spoon and sitting well back, "Keeping in mind there are small, impressionable children in the room."

Roger scuttled up Johnny's high chair then and sat on the back of it, much to the amusement of both twins, making his happy little chitting noises.

"… and Roger of course," smiled EJ.

"Pff," sniffed John, "I hardly think he's one to be careful what you say around in that line - he licks his own genitals!"

"I don't zink you can hold zat against him John," said Rolf, suddenly appearing from the other room, two cartons of milk in his hands, "I zink most men vould do zat if zey could reach, truth be told."

"Oh Rolf," sighed EJ despondently, "Another insight into your life that I could have lived without."

"Oh and zat doesn't appeal to you Elvis?" asked Rolf, not believing it for a second.

"Ah, no!" said EJ forcefully and looked over at John, "Help me out with this one Uncle John."

John didn't answer immediately, pursing his lips.

"Uncle?" prompted EJ.

"I'm thinking," said John and really seemed to be giving the whole concept of being able to lick your own genitalia a great deal of thought.

"Hm," said EJ bitingly, looking at his watch, "It's 7:02 in the morning and you've managed to horrify me beyond belief already - a new personal best for you both I think."

"Don't mind him Rolf, he's grumpy today because he's not getting any," said John, starting to open up his newspaper on the table.

"I'm not grumpy," growled EJ and frowned, "And thank you so much for advertising that little fact Uncle - I really appreciate it."

"Oh ya," said Rolf knowingly, "Za no zex zing - good luck vis zat Elvis."

"Seriously," said EJ in disbelief, "Do you guys get together and have house meetings when I'm not around or something? How did you even find out about it Rolf?"

"Marlena told me," said Rolf blithely.

"Marlena knows!" exclaimed EJ and then looked confused, "And she told you Rolf?"

"Vell not so much told as vas talking about it loudly on za phone," admitted Rolf, "But itz za zame zing."

"And she's a psychiatrist," said EJ dazedly, wondering who the hell she was talking to on the phone about such things, "Doesn't she know about confidentiality at all."

"But you and Zamantha are not patientz of hers," pointed out Rolf reasonably.

"Yet," said John flatly.

"Well there would be long waiting list to see her if every crazy in this house was to get much needed therapy," said EJ bitingly, sending a pointed look John's way.

"She couldn't treat me because I'm doing her," said John casually, "Well, kinda anyway."

"That's such a delightful way of putting that Uncle John," said EJ sarcastically, "I heartily recommend you open with that next time you see Marlena - I'm sure she'll really appreciate it."

"Ah who knows what that woman wants," said John with a roll of his eyes.

EJ wiped down Johnny's yoghurt laden face and sent John a quizzical look.

"Something happen last night Uncle?" asked EJ with an arch of an eyebrow.

"No," he said sulkily, looking very put out by that fact.

"So…?" prompted EJ, not sure he wanted to know but going in anyway.

"Let's just say I didn't get a chance to remove my cleats," said John expressionlessly.

"Oh," said EJ thoughtfully, "So no… home run then?"

"Nah," shrugged John, "Things were going great and then out of the green Blondie decided we were going too fast. I started doing it slower but apparently that wasn't what she meant."

"Blue," EJ corrected him automatically, wiping some yoghurt off his shirt where Ali had gotten a good shot in.

"No," John shook his head, "I just told you Elvis, Blondie put a stop to all that."

"Oh god I don't know if I can do this without a scotch in my hand," said EJ weakly.

"You're saying that a lot lately Nephew," commented John calmly.

"Only when you're in the room Uncle John," said EJ flatly.

"Yeah," nodded John and looked very seriously at EJ, "What's up with that?"

EJ was spared from answering him when his cell phone rang.

"Can you watch the twins please?" he asked the other two men, "I'll take this in the other room - it's work."

John shrugged and Rolf nodded. EJ winked at the children and quickly headed out of the room.

John looked at Ali and then Johnny and then back to Johnny and they looked back at him with big grins on their faces.

"So Girl Baby… Boy Baby," he said calmly, "I was thinking - how about later on today we test out how much spring those baby bouncer things really have in them huh?"

"Great! Great! Great!" they chirped and even Roger seemed excited by that idea.

"I don't zink Elvis and Zamantha vould like you launching zere kinder John," noted Rolf calmly.

"And that's why we're not going to tell them Rolf," said John as though it was completely obvious.

"Zis iz not going to end vell," sighed Rolf with a shake of his head.

"Oh you said that about the dumb waiter bet," said John with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"I vas stuck in zat zing for two hourz!" complained Rolf.

"Yeah but we weren't," shrugged John, "So no harm done."

"No harm done about what?" asked Sami, walking into the kitchen now.

"Does everyone listen at doors in this house?" sighed John, picking up his coffee and taking a sip.

"Oh ya," nodded Rolf sagely, "I vould zay zo."

"Where's EJ?" asked Sami, giving up on getting a straight answer from either of them and looking around the kitchen and smiling at her children who were excitedly calling for her.

"He's in the other room," said John flatly, opening up his newspaper, "Apparently developing some kind of drinking problem."

John looked her up and down then and pursed his lips thoughtfully.

"So how's the no sex thing working out for you?" he asked her in his usual straight forward fashion.

"How do you know about that?" gasped Sami, her cheeks going pink.

"Yeah Elvis is pretty tightly wound this morning too," mused John, going back to his paper.

EJ walked back into the room then, his face lighting up when he saw Sami.

"Good morning darling," he said happily and moved to give her a kiss but she stuck up a hand and looked at him in annoyance.

"Did you tell John about our… arrangement?" asked Sami heatedly.

"Ah… yes," nodded EJ with a little grimace.

"Why would you do that?" asked Sami in horror.

"Well you told Marlena," pointed out EJ reasonably.

"She's my mother EJ!" exclaimed Sami.

"And John is my uncle, so…?" EJ shrugged.

Sami scowled at him then, not pleased with his logic because she didn't have an answer for it.

"Bring the twins upstairs once they're finished with breakfast please," she bit out, "I need to get them ready to go out today."

"Of course sweetheart," said EJ mildly.

"I have to make a phone call," said Sami and turned on her heel and basically stormed out of the kitchen.

"You're welcome," said John after she'd left.

"And what exactly am I meant to be thanking you for Uncle?" asked EJ in frustration, his eyes on the door Sami had just disappeared through.

"Well now you're fighting," reasoned John simply, "And you won't be thinking about having sex anymore… so… you're welcome."

"You know there is a point of law that says if a person is really provoked beyond all reasonable limits and they end up killing someone they may not have to spend any real jail time over it," said EJ through clenched teeth.

"Why did you bring that up Nephew?" asked John, oblivious to the veiled threat underlying EJ's words.

"No reasons Uncle," said EJ darkly, "No reason at all."

John looked EJ up and down and shook his head. He was not looking forward to living in the same mansion as Horny and Hornier for the next month. At least when they were getting some his nephew and step daughter weren't quite so neurotic. Now he had to deal with them grumping around the house, getting under his feet and just generally killing his buzz.

_Did no one ever think about how these decisions would impact on him wondered John in annoyance… some people were just so inconsiderate!_


	56. Chapter 56

**Chapter FIFTY SIX**

Sami walked down the stairs, fresh from her shower after her latest physiotherapy session and was surprised to see Tracy still there, leaning against the wall and talking to EJ. The two men had become firm friends after EJ's initial uncertainty about the other man. Once it became clear that Tracy had nothing more than a friendly interest in Sami EJ had relaxed and they'd struck up a good friendship, sharing a lot of common interests as it turned out.

"Don't you have a home to go to?" she teased Tracy as she walked over and came to stand beside EJ.

EJ slipped a hand around her waist as they stood their, both facing Tracy and Sami felt herself instantly go weak at the knees. If she'd thought she knew what it was to want EJ before her ridiculous idea of abstinence between the two of them, she pretty much had to redefine the term nowadays. A week and a half into their three and a half week ban and the tiniest touch from him practically sent her into paroxysms. She could feel him staring at her sometimes from across the room and it was almost like he was touching her, she could actually feel his gaze heat her skin. Sami tried to block out the warm, hard length of him against her side and the feel of his hand cupping one of her hips and concentrate on what Tracy was saying.

"EJ and I were just talking football," smiled Tracy in answer to her question.

"You follow football?" she asked sceptically, looking up at EJ.

"Manchester United," nodded EJ, "The greatest football team that ever lived."

"English one you mean don't you?" teased Tracy, "What about Brazil?"

"Oh," said Sami before EJ could reply, "You mean soccer. I thought you meant real football."

"Seeing as soccer is the most played sport in the world I think it has the right to call itself 'real football' sweetheart," said EJ in amusement.

"If you say so," said Sami with a roll of her eyes, she looked around then, "Where are the twins?"

"Would you believe asleep?" asked EJ proudly.

"Already?" asked Sami sceptically, "That's really early for their afternoon nap."

"Yes but seeing as Uncle Eric is arriving tomorrow afternoon I thought I'd get them used to having an early nap today and tomorrow to get in the habit so they would be awake and full of beans for when he arrives," said EJ with a little smile, "And then we can dump them on him and go out for dinner together. Eric owes us a couple of uncle babysitting turns seeing as he doesn't live here in Salem."

"That's right," grinned Sami excitedly, "Clever you for thinking of something like that EJ."

"I know," said EJ smugly, "You married a genius."

"And such a modest one at that," said Tracy straight faced, "Sami, you must be thrilled."

"Speechless," she said mockingly and shook her head at EJ, "Okay then genius, I'm going out to pick up a few things before Eric arrives so do you think you can run the asylum without me for a couple of hours?"

"The chief lunatic is secured in the sitting room so at this point I can say a semi confident yes to that question darling," said EJ with an easy smile.

"In that case I'm outta here," grinned Sami, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek, glad that Tracy was there and she wouldn't be tempted to take it any further, "And Tracy, I'll see you Wednesday?"

"You will indeed," nodded Tracy, returning her smile.

"Goodbye sweetheart," said EJ as she gave them a final wave and disappeared through the door.

"Is John really that bad?" asked Tracy sceptically, "I've met him a couple of times now and he's a little left of centre maybe but you guys make him sound like a complete mad man."

"And your point being?" asked EJ straight faced.

"Is it warranted?" asked Tracy with a little laugh, "I mean he really seems excited about being your best man EJ, why don't you let him throw you a bachelor party as well? What's the worse that can happen?"

"Well you're invited to the wedding Tracy," said EJ with a grimace, "You'll no doubt see for yourself the answer to that question."

"Come on EJ," said Tracy, laughing at the suddenly stressed expression on EJ's face, "He's only one man. How much mayhem can one man really cause?"

"You weren't at Samantha's and Eric's birthday party were you?" asked EJ, pursing his lips.

"No," Tracy shook his head and looked at him curiously, "Why, what happened?"

"You see I could tell you but you wouldn't believe me," said EJ flatly, "I was there and saw it with my own eyes and I still don't believe it."

"Oh I don't know," shrugged Tracy, really curious now, "I'm a pretty hard guy to shock – try me."

EJ pointed up at the chandelier above them in the foyer and Tracy looked up.

"See how there is a couple of pieces of crystal missing in the chandelier?" asked EJ calmly.

"Aha," nodded Tracy, craning his neck back, "What happened – did they fall out or something."

"They were torn out when the flamingo that was hanging onto them for dear life as the chandelier itself swung from side to side finally lost it's grip and plummeted to earth only to have it's fall broken by a mad Austrian scientist," said EJ perfectly straight faced.

Tracy looked at EJ, the scepticism written all over his face.

"I kid you not," said EJ calmly, walking into the living room.

Tracy looked up at the chandelier and then followed EJ into the other room.

"Okay," he said with a shake of his head, "I'm going to need some closure on that story… exactly what was a flamingo doing in the house anyway?"

"There wasn't one," said EJ evenly, "There were six."

"Oh well that makes much more sense," said Tracy mockingly, "That just explains everything."

"Uncle John," said EJ, looking over at John who was standing there with a bottle of water in his hand, "Help me out here – perhaps you'd like to explain the events of the big twins' birthday par…?"

EJ cocked his head when he noticed that John wasn't really listening to him but instead staring intently at the cap off his bottled water that he had in his hand.

"What's wrong?" asked EJ with a frown.

John gave EJ one of his typically expressionless looks which EJ recognised as vaguely confused displeasure. John threw the bottle cap over to EJ which he caught easily.

"Read it," prompted John when EJ just looked back at him blankly.

EJ turned the bottle cap over to find a message written under the cap. It read:

YOU ARE NOT A WINNER

"Yes?" said EJ, showing it to Tracy, "I'm sorry Uncle, what's the problem here exactly?"

"That doesn't bother you?" asked John, looking a little surprised.

EJ and Tracy exchanged looks at that.

"No," they replied together.

"Yeah well it bothers me," said John flatly, "I like my beverages to be a little less judgemental."

"Uncle John," said EJ with a shake of his head, "This is just referring to some kind of competition."

"I didn't enter any kind of competition," said John with a frown, "But if I did you can bet I would be a winner. That bottle cap knows nothing about me – I don't know how it can say something like that."

"But…" began Tracy, looking a little confused now himself.

"Don't," said EJ with a shake of his head, "It's quick sand – trust me, nowhere to go but down."

"ROLF!" called out John and the other man dutifully appeared on cue.

"Ya John?" he asked patiently.

"Rolf," said John calmly, "How much of this brand of bottled water do we have left?"

"I don't know," shrugged Rolf, "Maybe a crate and a half."

"Burn it," said John decisively, "I don't like its attitude!"

"Oh my," sighed EJ.

Meanwhile Tracy was struggling to keep a straight faced.

"You can not burn ze vater John," Rolf pointed out, "It von't burn."

"Everything burns," said John dismissively, "Make it happen Rolf."

"But it iz vater John!" protested Rolf, "How am I meant to do zat?"

"I don't know," shrugged John, "Dehydrate it first."

"You vant me to dehydrate vater?" asked Rolf in disbelief, "Zat iz not pozzible!"

"You brought me back from the dead," John reminded him, not to be dissuaded, "This should be easy."

"So Tracy," said EJ straight faced to the other man as they stood there, the insane conversation continuing on around them, "Ask me again why won't I let my Uncle organise a bachelor party."

"… and then all you have to do to rehydrate it is to add water!" John finished off triumphantly to which Rolf just shook his head.

"I'm beginning to see your point," mused Tracy nodding.

"You're just being difficult Rolf," said John in annoyance and then turned his attention to EJ, deciding on a difficult tact.

"You're a lawyer," John informed him.

"Please no," sighed EJ despondently, not having a good feeling about where this might be heading.

"I want to sue this bottled water company for deformation of character!" said John with a definite nod of his head.

"I don't think you're meant to take it quite so personally as all this Uncle John," said EJ, taking a calming breath, "The note is just to let you know that you didn't win the competition and it's not a critique of your life in general."

"Well it should say that then," said John defiantly, "You know – 'You're not a winner of this particular competition but there might be other competitions out there that you can still win and this in no way reflects on the choices you've made in life up until this point and we have no opinion on whether or not you are one of life's winner's or not'… something like that."

Tracy looked down at the bottle cap he was holding and back at John.

"They're either going to have to write that _really_ small or the lids on these bottles are going to be enormous," noted Tracy straight faced.

"Not my problem," shrugged John and then looked expectantly at EJ.

"There is no way I'm going to be anything of the kind along those lines Uncle," said EJ with a shake of his head, "So just forget about it."

"Fine," sniffed John, "I'll get another lawyer."

"No," said EJ with a frustrated shake of his head, "No other lawyer… just no law suit… period."

"What's it worth to you?" asked John, arching an eyebrow.

"Excuse me?" asked EJ in confusion.

"How much do you care that I don't do this?" asked John suddenly, narrowing his eyes at him speculatively, "Say… a bachelor party's worth of care?"

"Wow," said Tracy, his eyes widening with admiration, "Now that's a segue and a half John!"

"Thank you Roy," said John with a nod of his head.

"Ah… it's Tracy actually John," Tracy corrected him with a little smile.

"I don't think so," said John off handedly and continued to stare at EJ expectantly.

Tracy's lips quirked and he tried not to laugh at John's peculiarities, not being offended by them in the least.

"Do you even know what a segue is?" asked EJ folding his arms in front of his chest, unimpressed by this turn of events.

"I'm assuming Roy here was complimenting me on my manly chest hair," said John straight faced.

"As you do," chortled Tracy knowing he didn't have much longer before he just burst into laughter and couldn't stop.

EJ shook his head giving up on that. Tracy didn't seem to mind judging by the snickering noises he was trying valiantly to hold back. Sure, everyone thought John was hysterical but they then got to go home to there nice normal, John free homes at night thought EJ darkly. He meanwhile was stuck with this kind of behaviour 24/7!

"I am not going to let you blackmail me into a bachelor party Uncle John," said EJ firmly, "End of discussion!"

"He's frightened of the wild cat," said John knowingly to Tracy.

"I am not frightened of Samantha," said EJ with a scowl and then ruefully pursed his lips, "More sensibly cautious if anything."

"I heard her threaten to make earrings out of your dangly bits if you let me organise a bachelor party for me," said John, clearly put out by that he wasn't getting to have this party, "Personally I don't see the problem – it's not like you're using them at the moment with this no sex thing you've got going on."

"Oh… _my _god!" exclaimed EJ with a shake of his head, "I don't even know where to start with that one!"

EJ looked over at Tracy and grimaced.

"Sorry," he said ruefully, "This is probably more than you ever wanted to know about Samantha and I Tracy."

"Actually I already knew," admitted Tracy with a shrug and gave a sheepish grin of his own, "Joseph told me."

"Unbelievable!" exclaimed EJ, wishing he felt more surprised than he actually was.

From now on he was going to just assume everyone in Salem knew about his and Samantha's arrangement and leave it at that.

"I think it's romantic," said Tracy with a smile, "Sweet."

"Sweet?" snorted John, "You should try living with them – they're both even more annoying than before! I've got half a mind…"

"Clearly," interrupted EJ and threw his uncle a sweet smile at the dig.

"Yeah well at least I've got _both_ testicles!" said John flatly, "And I'm not afraid to use them!"

"Whoa!" said Joseph sailing into the room and coming to a dead stop at that, his eyes widening with great interest, "This sounds like _my_ kind of conversation!"

He looked around the room at the three gorgeous men who had varying degrees of amusement, annoyance and frustration on their faces.

"So?" he said helpfully, looking at them all brightly, "Were where we again… I'll start – you were all up to testicles?"

That was it for Tracy, he'd held on for too long and he just lost it, exploding in gales of laughter that he just couldn't hold back any longer, laughing until he cried.


	57. Chapter 57

**Chapter FIFTY SEVEN**

EJ and Sami climbed the stairs to their bedroom that same night, hand in hand. They got to the door and Sami went to drop EJ's hand but he held onto it, swinging her around and pulling her into his arms.

"Well I had a lovely evening EJ," she teased him, "We must do this again sometime."

"You're not inviting me in?" he pouted and linked his arms around her waist, "I thought you liked me?"

"Mm," she nodded impishly, pretending to be coy, "I do… but my parents are home and it might be a bit weird."

"I'm great with parents," he assured her with a bright smile to which she gave him a sceptical look.

"Most parents," he relented with a rueful grin, "But yours are starting to warm up to me… well, your mother doesn't hate me anymore so…?"

EJ gave a little shrug then and Sami had to laugh.

"My dad doesn't hate you EJ," she corrected him.

"No he just thinks I'm a no good DiMera who likes to ogle unsuspecting women in showers and has sexual orientation issues," said EJ wryly.

"Why would he think that?" she asked him with a little frown but couldn't help the smile on her face.

"Well John hasn't been helpful in announcing a few little matters in his usual blunt and poorly formed sentences," said EJ with a sigh, "And then he caught Joseph and me hugging in the elevator after you're surgery."

"Just exactly how many people have you lured into an elevator EJ DiMera?" she asked him, trying to glare up at him but not really managing it.

"Well you're the only one with boobs," he said cheekily and then waggled his eyebrows suggestively at her, "Speaking of which…"

EJ playfully moved to cup a full breast and she swatted his hand away, trying not to laugh.

"Aha," she shook her head at him, "Don't even think about it mister."

"That implies that I have at some point in my day stopped thinking about your breasts Samantha," he said with a particularly lecherous look, "And let me assure you… that is not the case at all… far from it in fact."

"So when you're having a meeting with a client or in the courtroom you're actually just thinking about my breasts the whole time is that right?" she asked him, tongue in cheek, "That hardly seems right EJ."

"I don't know how you could suggest such a thing Samantha," he huffed as she folded her arms in front of her chest and looked up at him mockingly.

His eyes ran all over her body appreciatively.

"There is _so_ much more to your body to think about," he said gleefully but then his eyes ended up at her chest again which with her arms folded in front of her like that made her breasts appear even more prominent, "Although percentage wise they do seem to take up a fair amount of you in relationship to the rest of you."

"Are you saying that I'm out of proportion?" sniffed Sami, feigning affront.

"I'm saying that if you were any more perfect I'd be requiring some kind of mouth to mouth resuscitation right about now," said EJ with a cheeky grin at her, "In fact… I'm feeling a little breathless I have to say."

"Is that so?" she cooed up at him.

"Aha," he nodded, a decided twinkle in his eyes as he pulled her back into his arms, "Care to help me out Mrs DiMera?"

The sexual frustration aside Sami was actually rather starting to enjoy their little games… mostly. There were still times when she wanted to scream from wanting him so badly but there was also something to be said about the chase as well – particularly knowing there was an end in sight. EJ had always been attentive to her in the past but Sami couldn't say that she was hating the level of attention he was giving her nowadays. A hundred times a day they'd find an excuse to just reach out and touch one other - a stroke of the cheek, hands brushing intentionally against one another when they passed things to one another, legs touching under the kitchen table.

Before they'd touched but because they knew that they would be sharing a bed together that night the need to be in constant contact wasn't so all consuming. Now without that intimate togetherness at the end of the day every moment was precious, every soft touch, lingering look and stolen kiss mattered. Sami was very glad that the wedding was starting to take up so much of her time now so it was quite distracting to her. Not that it helped of course when he was this close. The last thing on Sami's mind right then was seating arrangements and orders of service.

"I suppose I could help out a little," she sighed, looking up at him through her lashes.

"Yes?" EJ asked, a slow smile spreading across his face as he ducked his head and finally kissed her.

Sami melted into his kisses, her arms around his neck as she clung to him, feeling like he was the only thing keeping her upright at the moment. EJ groaned into her mouth, feeling the way she responded to him so passionately and his arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her tighter against him. Their tongue's duelled with one another, trying to taste as deeply they could, starving for the taste of each other.

Sami felt the slightly roughened scrape of his five o'clock shadow against her chin and craved to feel that coarseness on other parts of her body. His hands dipped lower, cupping her bottom cheeks and beginning to squeeze them rhythmically and Sami wrapped a leg around his, holding him closer. The tension between them grew, both of their bodies starting moving against the other's, instincts to take this further beginning to take over.

"EJ," said Sami breathlessly.

"Samantha," he rasped, "Oh sweetheart I want you so much."

"I know," she gasped, shuddering a little as he ground his hips into hers and she felt the proof of his arousal against her stomach, "I want you too EJ."

"Can I come in for a little bit?" he asked her achingly, kissing down her neck and shoulders, "Just for a minute."

"I don't that that's a good idea EJ," laughed Sami a little shakily but tilting her head to one side to let him have better access to her.

"I just want to talk for a little bit," he tried to cajole her, nipping at her bottom lip teasingly now, "Just talk."

"I find that highly unlikely," she smiled up at him as he nuzzled her nose now with his own.

"Well can I come in and look for my… cufflinks?" asked EJ, desperately fishing around for some kind of excuse.

"Cufflinks?" asked Sami sceptically.

"Aha," he nodded, brushing her long blonde hair off her other shoulder now so he could repeat the same attention that he'd given her other shoulder.

"Tell me what they look like and I'll pass them out to you," said Sami, biting her bottom lip as she felt his velvety tongue begin to trace imaginary patterns over the sensitive flesh of her neck.

"You'll never be able to find them," he told her, working his way up to her ear now and whispering his next words into it, "I'd better come in and get them myself."

"EJ," she said pulling back a little, her voice all smoky and rich, as she looked up at him with a sultry gleam in her eyes.

"Yes Samantha?" asked EJ unevenly, his gaze avidly moving over her face.

"You will not be entering this room…" she purred up at him, an impish smile on her face now, "… or anything else for that matter tonight. Now be a good boy… and go to your room."

"Heartless minx," groaned EJ and Sami giggled at the desperate look on his face.

It always seemed that one of them was more in control than the other during these encounters and tonight it was her turn for some reason. At other times he was fending off her advances with reminders that this was her idea in the first place and he'd promised to abide by it. They were going to be fine as long as they didn't have a corresponding moment of weakness because then they'd be screwed… or rather… screwing.

"Down boy," she pushed on his chest and stepped back, opening the door to their bedroom and looking back at him.

She tried very hard not to melt at the puppy dog eyes he was making at her and reminded herself that this was for the greater good. Come their wedding night she was going to prove to him that this had been a good idea… over and over again until he begged for mercy. The thought gave her the strength to turn him away when he was looking at her all adorably.

"Go!" she ordered him imperiously, trying to sound severe but the twinkle in her eyes belied the command.

"I'd rather come," he said petulantly, sticking his hands in the pockets of his black sweat pants.

Sami giggled at that and EJ had to join in and they shared a moment of laughter together.

"Go," she said again, this time smiling warmly at him, "I'll see you in the morning."

With a heavy sigh and a last lingering look EJ did as she requested and headed off to his room and Sami enjoyed the sight of him leaving, ogling his tight backside shamelessly. They never had gotten round to the quarter thing and Sami wondered if that counted as below the waist action.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ walked down the stairs, dressed in his gym clothes, needing to blow off some steam after his passionate good night to Sami. There was no way he was just going to fall asleep now without doing something to take his mind off the woman he'd left upstairs in their bedroom so running was the next best thing in a kind of 'craving chocolate, eat a carrot' kind of way.

"Running again huh?" asked John in the study, his nightly glass of scotch in hand and a cigar in the other now that the twins weren't around.

"Mm," nodded EJ, stretching a little before he began what was becoming a nightly ritual nowadays, taking a night run through the grounds before retiring for the night.

It helped tire him out a little bit and put some of the excess energy he usually expended in keeping his gorgeous wife satisfied into less exciting pursuits.

"You know," commented John idly, "With all this running you're doing, it seems a shame to waste it really."

"What does that mean?" asked EJ with an arch of an eyebrow, strapping himself in for what would undoubtedly be a bumpy ride.

"Well we should harness all that energy," pondered John, almost talking to himself now, "Maybe get Rolf to build some kind of giant wheel… you know like they have for giraffes and you could knock yourself out running in one of those and we could use the power generated to heat the pool or something. You know, save a few bucks - waste not, want not after all."

EJ blew out a heavy breath and took a calming one in its stead before addressing the many problems with his John's last statement.

"Uncle John," said EJ, using his most patient tone.

"Elvis," returned John expressionlessly.

"One…" began EJ, keeping himself determinedly calm, "I think you mean a gerbil wheel, not a giraffe…"

"I'm sure they make them for giraffes as well," said John easily with a dismissive wave of his hand.

"And I'm equally sure they don't," said EJ flatly, "Two… likening me to a rodent in a wheel is not the most flattering thing you've ever said to me…"

"I didn't," protested John with a pout, "I likened you to a giraffe."

He leant over towards EJ and spoke in a conspiratorial whisper to him, "It's those knobbly knees of yours - it makes you look exactly like one."

"My knees are not knobbly!" said EJ, taking offence.

"I beg to differ giraffe boy," said John expressionlessly, taking a puff of his cigar.

"Well at least I can't be mistaken for some kind of bear Uncle!" snapped back EJ, nodding his head at John's rather ample chest hair visible above his shirt.

"Chicks dig the fur alright," said John smugly and EJ gave up.

"Quick sand… it's quick sand," he muttered, reminding himself of the advice he'd given Tracy earlier that day.

EJ closed his eyes and willed himself to remain calm.

John looked him up and down, taking in his stressed expression and tapped EJ's arm, making him open his eyes.

"You know what you need to take your mind off your troubles…?" he asked the younger man knowingly.

EJ looked back at him in quiet resignation before a gleeful look came to John's face.

"… a bachelor party."


	58. Chapter 58

**Chapter FIFTY EIGHT**

Sami closed her eyes and made a happy half sighing, half groaning sound and she felt EJ's smile against the tender skin of her stomach. He looked up at her and grinned, Sami opened her eyes and smiled back down at him.

It had become their habit of a morning the last few days that EJ would come in to her in the mornings for a quick kiss and a cuddle before the twins would wake up. Johnny and Ali would always wake up and start crying between 6:25 to 6:31 am every morning - like clockwork. It had been working perfectly, the twins would wake up and stop things from going too far between EJ and Sami and they could still have a little together time and not have to rely completely on their will power alone. Everything had been fine until this morning when for some unknown reason neither twin had seen fit to wake up yet, giving EJ and Sami an extended make out session which was becoming decidedly heated now.

EJ kissed his way up her stomach, one hand circling her wrist and kissing along her arm and then on to Sami's neck before laying claim to her mouth with more toe curling kisses. Any second now the twins would wake up and the thought made EJ extra bold, knowing he wouldn't be needing to find the strength to stop himself. Still kissing her, EJ's hands found Sami's wrists and drew her arms up above her head as she lay on the bed, securing them there with one hand whilst his other returned to her stomach, sliding up under her white tank top, taking it with him and exposing her breasts. Sami gasped at the sudden feel of the cool morning air on her heated flesh and EJ broke the kiss, looking down avidly at the delights he'd exposed.

"God," he rasped, lust flaring in his eyes at the sight of her naked breasts, "You're just so utterly perfect Samantha."

EJ couldn't control himself, cupping one breast and bringing a turgid nipple to his lips, attaching himself to the bud and suckling hungrily at it. Sami groaned and arched her back, unable to do anything else because he still had her arms locked above her head. She felt his warm tongue lap and flick at the sensitised nub before nipping at it with his teeth, the wet noises his mouth was making on her skin exciting her just as much as what he was doing to her.

"EJ," she gasped, shaking her head against the delights he was causing her body.

"Please," he begged her unevenly, "The twins will be awake soon, just a little longer sweetheart, I need to have you for as long as I can."

He returned to her breast, stimulating her a little harder now, not able to help himself and Sami writhed under him, her breath quickly starting to come in short, irregular pants.

"EJ!" she groaned, arching her back even as she protested, "You know you can make me come doing that."

"I know," he rasped, his brown eyes almost black from his arousal, "It's the sexiest damn thing ever sweetheart - it gets me rock hard!"

"I'm soaking wet now," she confessed to him achingly, looking up at him longingly.

"Oh god!" he grunted, "Show me sweetheart!"

Sami pushed on his shoulders, making him roll over so that EJ was now on his back. She then straddled his naked waist and rubbed her drenched sex against his bare skin, her juices having actually soaked through her pyjama bottoms.

"Oh yes!" he said excitedly, feeling her wetness against his stomach and knowing it was all for him.

EJ sat up, claiming Sami's mouth in a passionate kiss, hand going to the back of her head, letting him plunder her depths fully.

How wet and hot would she be if he simply picked her up and rammed her down on the hard on that he was sporting right now. EJ shuddered, imagining her body giving way against his hardness as he penetrated her for the first time after this time apart. She'd be so tight and searingly hot and he'd want to come right away, just because of how she felt around him. Sami wiggled back a little, mindful of the 'nothing below the waist' rule and simply let her backside cheeks touch his erection that she could feel back there, even though he still had his pyjama pants on. She began to rock ever so slightly against it, her bottom cheeks brushing his manhood delicately with each small movement.

"Shh," she calmed him, knowing they both needed to reign this in a bit seeing as their children didn't look like they were going to be helpful in that area any time soon, "It's alright honey, just settle down."

Sami nipped teasing kisses at his mouth, giving them time for both of their breathing to return to normal. She pulled her top back down again, knowing the sight of her breasts weren't going to help him any in the calming down stakes.

"What is up with our children?" groaned EJ with a little laugh, enjoying Sami's ministrations but still aching for her, "Why did they have to chose today of all days to sleep in?"

"Kids and animals," grinned Sami, lightly kissing his mouth and jaw, "That's why you should never work with them."

"Mmm," sighed EJ happily, hands going to her thighs now, gently massaging them as Sami continued to rock back and forth on top of him lightly.

The action was strangely soothing as there wasn't enough friction to cause anything else to flare up and EJ found himself beginning to relax a little as Sami spotted delicate kisses all over his face and chest.

"Nice," he mumbled contentedly, closing his eyes, "Don't stop sweetheart."

Sami smiled to see the blissful expression on his face and continued in her ministrations, feeling his erection begin to soften as she calmed them both down. She wanted to tell EJ about all the things she wanted to do to him on their wedding night, all the things she wanted him to do to her but she knew that would get him instantly hard again and they still had fourteen days to go so what would be the point. Sami was actually quietly proud that they'd lasted this long, eleven days for them without sex was a record when they were both healthy and together - no hospital stays or kidnappings. Sami smiled to herself - she knew she didn't only love him for his body… although there was a lot to love about his body she thought to herself cheekily.

"What are you thinking about?" he quizzed her with a little smile, seeing the look on her face.

"Your body," she told him honestly and he chuckled.

"Is that right Mrs DiMera?" he asked her, tracing imaginary designs on the tops of her thighs now as they smiled at each other, "And what exactly were you thinking about my…"

EJ didn't get any further because just then there a very loud thump sound came from the baby monitor and they both looked at it wide eyed, unsure what the sound was, their bodies tensing. There was a long moment when there was no other sound and then suddenly there was an ear splitting scream followed by hysterical crying. Sami and EJ both reacted instantly to the sound Johnny's screams, leaping off the bed and the both of them bolting to the twins rooms as Ali's cries joined her brother's.

EJ reached the twins room first, his long legs and the panic of a parent hearing their child in distress getting him there very quickly. He flung open the door and the first thing he saw was Ali standing up in her crib, crying loudly and looking down at the floor. EJ followed where she was looking and saw Johnny sitting on the floor, his face screwed up and red as he sobbed loudly. EJ instinctively swooped down and picked up his son and put out a hand to cup Ali's head, trying to calm them both down. By then Sami was with him and had hurried over to pick up Ali out of her crib.

"It's alright sweetheart," EJ soothed his son, cuddling him to his chest and rubbing his back as Johnny sobbed inconsolably.

"What happened?" asked Sami anxiously at EJ, not having seen Johnny on the floor because EJ had already scooped him up.

"I think Johnny climbed out of his cot and fell," said EJ, above the crying which was starting to lessen as both parents instinctively jostled them up and down in a soothing motion.

"But he can't get out," said Sami in bewilderment, looking at the high sides of the cot.

"Apparently he can," said EJ ruefully, kissing the top of Johnny's head comfortingly as his cries had just become the occasional broken sob now.

EJ pulled back a little from Johnny who had been clinging to him now that he'd calmed down a bit and started to check him over.

"There's a bump on his head," said Sami, coming over and checking as well and gently rubbed it, "My poor little honey."

Johnny sniffled, his face wet from his tears looked suitably forlorn at his mother's sympathy. Ali who had also mostly stopped crying now as well, having gone out in sympathy with her brother decided that her brother needed a hug. She reached out with both arms as she sat on Sami's hip and put her arms a little clumsily around her brother's neck and Johnny returned it. Sami and EJ moved closer together so the twins could hug properly.

"That is _so_ adorable," said EJ, looking at his children comforting one another like that.

EJ had basically grown up as an only child so he'd never had the benefit of siblings when he was younger. To see Ali and Johnny like this made him realise how grateful he was that they would have each other for the rest of their lives hopefully. He and Sami weren't going to be around forever and there was something deeply reassuring to know that they would always be able to turn to each other for love and support when he and Sami were gone. EJ and Sami exchanged proud parents look over the top of their children's head.

"What happened?" asked Marlena worriedly, suddenly appearing at the door with John just behind her, "We heard Johnny screaming."

Both Marlena and John looked suspiciously rumpled around the edges and the normally perfectly groomed Marlena's hair looked tussled. EJ had a sneaking suspicion that their's wasn't the only heated tryst that Johnny's cries had interrupted somehow but he tried not to think about it. He'd already had one terrible shock today - he really didn't need another this early in the day.

"We think he climbed out of his cot," said Sami with a rueful sigh, "And then fell."

"Oh but surely he can't," said Marlena, going over and smiling down tenderly at Johnny who by now he and Ali had stopped hugging, more interested in the new arrivals now, easily distracted as children of that age often are, "He's only thirteen months old!"

"Gami," sniffled Johnny brokenly, enjoying the attention now and milking it for all he was worth.

Grandma had become a more manageable 'Gami' to the twins and sometimes just a lazy 'Ga Ga' depending on their moods. Marlena smiled lovingly at Johnny and wiped away his tears, giving his hot little cheek a kiss.

"My poor little man," she cooed, "Did you give yourself a terrible fright hmm?"

"And a bump on the head," nodded EJ, running his fingers lightly over the small swelling area on Johnny's forehead.

"He should have rolled when he hit the ground," said John knowingly, "Absorbed more of the impact throughout his entire body that way."

"He's not a Navy Seal John," said Marlena with a roll of her eyes and going over to give Ali a kiss as well because she looked a little put out from being left out of all the attention, "Did you get a fright too little girl?"

Marlena fussed over them both and the twins lapped it up, their earlier trauma seeming to be completely forgotten now. John strolled into the room, hands in pocket and surveyed the cots with interest. The twins grinned to see him.

"Great!" they said happily together, smiling brightly up at John.

"Little people," nodded John at them in his typically expressionless fashion, patting each one in turn on the head.

"You know if you want to keep Boy Baby and his freakishly long legs…" John stopped then and cast a sideways look up and down EJ's elongated gams, "… in that thing then you're probably going to have to tie him down now."

"We are not going to tie Johnny to his bed!" said Sami in horror, "How could you even suggest such a thing John?!"

"I was tied to my hospital bed just after I woke up," pointed out John reasonably, "In fact you visited me when I was wild cat. I didn't see you outraged that someone had tied me to a bed!"

"That is because you were brainwashed into being a killer John!" exclaimed Sami hotly, "Johnny just a baby - he wouldn't hurt anyone."

"Untrue," disagreed John straight faced, "You could trip on him, slip on all that drool he produces or…."

"We're not tying Johnny to the bed Uncle John," interrupted EJ firmly, knowing this could go on for quite a while knowing John, "It's out of the question."

"Then you need to have some kind of top to the cot," said John undeterred, "But with a hinge on it so you can still get to Boy Baby when you need to."

"You mean… like a box?" asked EJ flatly, unimpressed by this solution as well.

"Yeah," nodded John happily, "That would work."

"We're not putting Johnny in a box John!" said Sami in agitation, shaking her head at EJ who just rolled his eyes back at her, knowing they shouldn't have expected anything different from John of all people.

"Honestly John," Marlena tutted at him from where he was still perusing the cots, "The things you say sometimes."

"I don't even know why you insist on putting them in those things anyway," grumbled John, put out that no one liked his perfectly reasonable suggestions, "You should just let them go free range."

"For one thing they're not poultry Uncle," said EJ in annoyance, "And it wouldn't be safe for another."

"You two are pretty precious about these babies," shrugged John, "They are way tougher than they look. See how soft they are - that so you can drop them a couple of times and there is no problem - they're made for a little rough and tumble."

All the adults just looked at John with varying degrees of horror and John looked defiantly back before pouting.

"Fine then," he huffed, "If you don't like my ideas then why did you ask for my help in the first place?"

"We didn't!" chorused EJ and Sami as one with matching frowns on their faces, which the twins found hysterically funny, bursting into loud cackling laughter.

This made all the all the adults in the room start to laugh as well except for John who still looked a little put out. Marlena decided that John had helped enough for the time being and made him come with her down to breakfast leaving EJ and Sami alone with the twins.

"Well," sighed Sami, smiling brightly at her babies, "Today's off to an exciting start isn't it my darlings?"

"It was for me," grinned EJ impishly and waggled his eye brows at her, making Sami laugh.

"Yeah well that moment has well and truly passed thanks to these guys and John," she said with a roll of her eyes, "I'm so glad that Eric is arriving this afternoon."

"Aha," nodded EJ, putting Johnny down on the change table and starting to get him out of his pyjamas and dressed for the days activities, "We'll have my uncle just about out numbered then."

"I know," grinned Sami, "I can't wait."

EJ leant across and stole a quick kiss from her, grinning down at her.

"What was that for?" she laughed up at him.

"For being the most gorgeous, sexy wife a man could ever wish for," he said impishly.

"Well there is that," Sami nodded, looking very seriously and then went up on her toes and kissed him back.

"What was _that_ for?" he asked her playfully.

"For changing your daughters pooey diaper," said Sami sweetly, handing Ali over to him and he shook his head as he put Ali next to her brother on the changing table.

"Mine was more romantic," he chided her, the edges of his mouth turning up in amusement.

"This is plenty romantic," she assured him, "Trust me EJ - ask any mother."

"Well in that case let's do this then eh my gorgeous girl," grinned EJ, looking down at his daughter and giving her a playful wink which she thought was very funny, giggling up at him, "I have to say, it's cheaper than a candlelit dinner for two."

"Oh you still have to do those as well," said Sami blithely, smiling up at him and wrinkling her nose at him, "I'm high maintenance don't you know EJ?"

"And worth every second of it," he told her, looking at her appreciatively.

"Change your children's diapers and then you can admire me some more over breakfast," she told him mischievously.

Sami handed EJ the twins clothes she'd selected for them to wear today and smiled up at him.

"I'm going for a shower," she told him, walking over to the door and then turning around and giving him a last sultry look, "I'll be thinking of you."

EJ watched her leave and then gave a heavy sigh, looking down at his children who were looking expectantly up at him with utter adoration and fascination.

"Well it's official my darlings," he told them straight faced, "Your mother… is trying… to kill me."


	59. Chapter 59

**Chapter FIFTY NINE**

Sami heard the front door opening and grinned down at the twins who were playing on the rug in the living room.

"Uncle Eric is here!" she said excitedly and the twins grinned back up her, picking up on their mother's enthusiasm.

Sami stood up and held out her hands to the twins, getting them to hold onto one each and walk with her to the foyer. EJ grinned to see his little family trooping in from the living room. He put down the suitcase he was holding and stood back to let Eric through the door.

"Look who it is!" said Sami to the twins happily, "It's Uncle Eric!"

The twins faces brightened remembering him from a couple of months ago.

"Dunk!" said Ali proudly and waved happily at him.

"I was trying to teach them to say Uncle Eric," said Sami ruefully, "But we settled on Dunk."

"That's pretty close," grinned Eric as he walked over and went down on his knees, holding out his arms to the twins and they launched themselves into his arms.

Eric laughed and looked up at Sami as he cuddled the two of them.

"I wasn't sure they'd remember me," he said, pulling back and looking down at their excited little faces.

"I've been showing them photo's of you and talking to them about their Uncle Eric," said Sami, so happy to see Eric with the twins again, "But I wouldn't have to if you lived in the same town as us Eric."

"I haven't even shaken the dust off my shoes and you're nagging me already woman!" sighed Eric dramatically which the twins thought pretty funny for some reason, chuckling away to themselves.

"Well if you give in now and say you'll move back to Salem that will be the last you hear about it from me," said Sami sagely.

Eric looked over his shoulder at EJ for a little male solidarity but EJ shook his head at him with a smile.

"Don't look at me," he told his brother in law with a laugh, "I'm on her side."

"Oh well," sighed Eric, standing up then with a twin on each hip, "I suppose now is a good as time as any to tell you that I've transferred from my job in Seattle back to Salem starting in the new year."

Sami's mouth dropped open and she stared at Eric in shock.

"WHAT!" she practically screeched, making both the twins start in surprise at the volume and pitch of her voice, "Are you kidding me?!"

"No," grinned Eric, "I'm back as they say in the movies… well, come the new year anyway."

"Oh Eric!" exclaimed Sami, throwing her arms around Eric's neck which was a bit tricky because he was still holding the twins.

Sami frowned then suddenly and pulled back, eyeing him suspiciously.

"You're not lying to me just to get me off your back are you?" she asked him, eyes narrowed as she scrutinised his face for the fact that he might be lying to her.

"No," laughed Eric, used to the way his sister's mind worked, "I can show you the paper work if you don't believe me Sis."

"Oh that won't be necessary," said Sami with a casual wave of her hand before continuing on blithely, "Show them to EJ - he's the lawyer in the family."

Ali decided she wanted to be with Mommy now and held out her arms and Eric handed her over and Sami put her on her hip and they both smiled at Eric, looking very much alike all of a sudden.

"Ah well there will be a small fee involved for retaining my services young lady," said EJ teasingly as he walked over and took Johnny from Eric as he was beginning to squirm as well.

EJ continued onto the living room, giving Sami's bottom a playful swipe as he went by.

"EJ!" said Sami, pretending to be outraged.

"A down payment sweetheart," he winked at her as he put Johnny back down with his beloved toys.

"Okay," said Eric, his eyes twinkling, "Now down to the important stuff."

"Such as?" laughed Sami, still elated at the thought that Eric was going to be back in Salem very soon.

"Please tell me you still have the monkey," said Eric very seriously.

"Yes Roger is still with us," smiled Sami.

"Ogja!" exclaimed Ali, knowing Roger's name and looking around.

"He's outside in the garden sweetie," she told her daughter with a little laugh.

"I can't wait to meet him," said Eric excitedly, "You do realise that if you get one more wild animal you can officially call this place a zoo and charge admission!"

"Really?" said John suddenly appearing from no where and sounding very interested now.

"John," said Eric happily, going in to hug his step father, "How are you?"

"Well I made it to third base with Blondie since I last saw you," said John conversationally.

"John!" exclaimed Sami in horror, her cheek instantly bright red.

"Please tell me that he's teaching Mom baseball," said Eric to EJ, suddenly looking a little strained.

"Will that make you feel better if I lie to you and say yes?" asked EJ calmly.

"Infinitely," said Eric a little weakly.

"Then yes Eric, that is exactly what John is talking about," supplied EJ evenly, happy to help out his brother in law.

EJ took Ali from Sami then and gave her a little wink.

"Alright my lovely," he told her, "I don't think there is any need for you to be psychologically scarred by listening in on grown up conversations involving your Great eh?"

"Great!" chirped Ali looking over at John, knowing exactly who EJ was talking about as EJ took her into the living room and put her on the rug beside Johnny.

EJ came back and stood in the doorway so he could join in on the conversation but still keep an eye on the twins.

"Did you know that I'm going to be Super Man at the wedding?" asked John suddenly, looking over at Eric.

"Best man Uncle John," said EJ patiently, "I keep telling you it's Best Man!"

"This wedding…" said Eric knowingly, a very big grin on his face, "… is going to R-O-C-K!"

"Please stop saying it like that," said Sami, looking very nervous now.

"It will be fine Sis," Eric reassured her, putting an arm around her shoulder and giving it a squeeze, "We survived our birthday party we'll survive this."

"It's my wedding Eric!" exclaimed Sami and gave a woeful pout, "I don't want there to be any question about whether or not people will live through it!"

"Yeah you had that at the last one," nodded John sagely, "Been there, done that."

"John!" scowled Sami, "I've told you before, EJ getting shot is not something to laugh about!"

"I wasn't laughing," protested John, "… maybe if I'd been there it would have been funnier…"

"I can not believe some of the things you say John!" said Sami in annoyance.

"Ogja, ogja."

The sound of the twins calling out to Roger brought a welcome distraction from a conversation that could only get worse from here.

"Excuse me all," said Eric with a grin, "It's monkey time!"

Eric walked from the foyer into the living room just in time to see Roger scamper in from the patio and take up a position near the twins but being careful to keep his tail out of reach of their little grabbing hands - he'd learnt early about that one.

"Yup," said Eric with a shake of his head, "That's a monkey alright."

Roger looked Eric up and down, obviously interested in this newcomer.

"Does he come when you call it?" asked Eric curiously.

"Him and Rolf," nodded John, "The only two things in this house that do."

"Roger," called out Eric and Roger obediently scampered over to Eric and jumped up into his arms.

Eric and Roger checked each other out.

"Okay," said Eric, nodding his head in approval, "Now this is cool."

"I know," said Sami, coming over to scratch Roger's chest just how he liked it, "He was such a help to me when I couldn't get around - I don't know what I would have done without him. The twins just adore him and he's really become part of the family."

Sami made a very sad face then.

"I'm going to be heart broken when we have to give him back," she sighed, looking wistfully over at EJ, her blue eyes actually tearing up a little at the prospect, "I know there are other people who would benefit from having him just as much and I don't mean to be selfish but… it feels like we'd be giving away family now."

"And if we ever get _that_ option it wouldn't be Roger on the top of my list to go," noted EJ straight faced.

Eric had to stop himself from laughing out loud at that - he really enjoyed EJ's dry sense of humour which was not unlike his own. He was glad that he'd made the decision to return to Salem permanently. Apart from everything else he felt he was really missing out nowadays by living in another city. Whoever it was who'd coined the phrase 'never a dull moment' had clearly met John!

"Yeah," agreed John straight faced, "Wild cat can be pretty annoying at times and loud… hell - there are air raid sirens with less volume then her."

Sami gave John a decidedly unimpressed look at that but refrained from launching into profanities in front of her children. Roger saw Sami's unhappy look and decided that she needed a cuddle, jumping from Eric's arms into Sami's putting his little arms around her neck and resting his head on her shoulder.

"Oh Roger," she laughed at his antics, giving him a little hug in return, "Let's go and see about getting you something to eat huh? I went and got your favourite - some nice strawberries."

Sami looked up and EJ and smiled.

"I'll be right back," she told him and walked out, cooing away at Roger as they went into the kitchen.

"Dude," said Eric knowingly, "You are _so_ keeping the monkey."

"I know," sighed EJ ruefully, "I pretty much worked that out a couple of weeks ago. What's one more monkey when you've already got six flamingos anyway?"

"Will that be okay?" asked Eric, "I mean, I thought you had a contract to give him back and everything?"

"I'll sort it out," said EJ with a shrug, "I think it really would break Samantha's heart to give the little guy back and we can't have that, especially not just before the wedding."

"I've already sorted it," John informed them.

"Really?" asked EJ, trying not to suddenly be frightened about how John might have gone about that.

"I gave them a very donation so they can train up a whole bunch of monkeys and in return we get to keep Roger," said John with a shrug, "Problem solved."

John saw the way EJ was looking at him and frowned.

"What?" he asked in annoyance, "What did I do wrong now?"

"Nothing," said EJ slowly, "That's kind of the puzzling part but I guess there is a first time for everything."

"I take umbrage at that remark Nephew," John informed him expressionlessly.

"Umbrage away uncle," shrugged EJ, clearly unconcerned at the prospect.

Eric looked at them and shook his head.

"I have _so_ missed you guys," he announced to them with a big grin.


	60. Chapter 60

**Chapter SIXTY**

Sami strolled into the living room from the foyer an hour or so later to find EJ, Eric and the twins playing happily together on the floor. Her heart melted to see them all getting on so well. Roger was there too and Eric and Johnny were taking turns pushing him around in Johnny's big dump truck. Under Johnny's less skilful but decidedly enthusiastic hand Roger had to make a fair few leaps to safety but he must not have minded all that much because he kept coming back for more. EJ and Ali meanwhile where carefully putting different shaped blocks into the corresponding holes and there was a lot of excitement each time they got it right with applause and everything.

Everything felt perfect in her life at the moment. She was married to the man she loved and who adored her, her children were happy and healthy, her beloved twin was returning to town and the wedding was less than two weeks away now. Apart from the no sex thing of course which was a bit of a trial at the moment and really, any time she wanted to she could put a stop to that… or rather a start to it so it didn't have to be that big of a deal. Sami looked down at EJ's broad shoulders as he hunched over Ali on his lap playing their little game and felt a familiar flutter in her stomach.

He'd always had an impressive physique but with all the extra work outs he was doing - instead of doing her that was - he had really bulked up over the last couple of weeks and it hadn't even been two weeks yet. If he kept doing this she'd have to send him back to have his suit for the wedding refitted. Not that she was complaining mind you although it didn't make the abstinence thing any easier the buffer he got.

"Hey sweetheart," said EJ, looking back over his shoulder having just noticed she was standing there, "Look at this - our daughter is a genius!"

"I know," smiled Sami proudly, walking around to give a delighted grin to Ali, "She takes after her Mommy don't you little girl?"

"Yes she does," grinned EJ, reaching out a hand and stroking her leg and even through her the material of her pants she gave a little shudder at the light touch and she and EJ shared an intense look for a moment before Johnny squealed and Roger chattered excitedly.

They turned to see Roger leap from the dump truck Johnny had just pushed excitedly into the sofa and onto Eric's face.

"Well this is a first I must say," said Eric, his words muffled by a furry monkey stomach.

EJ and Sami began to laugh at the sight of Eric with a monkey plastered to his face and the twins joined in with Eric not too far behind.

"I'm going to smell like a monkey when I go and see Mom," complained Eric good naturedly as he removed Roger from his face and let him sit on his shoulder, "Not to mention a fair amount of Roger's chest hair caught between my teeth!"

"Mom lives with Roger," laughed Sami, "She'll understand… well, maybe not about the chest hair thing. When is she out of her meeting today?"

"About half an hour," said Eric checking his watch, "I'd better go and get cleaned up. I organised to meet her at the hospital. Do you mind taking over Sami?"

"No," said Sami with a smile, going to take the now vacated seat on the ground beside Johnny and then looked up at Eric teasingly, "Ah… you planning taking Roger into the shower with you Eric?"

"You could," said EJ absently, pulling an excited face for Ali as she found the correct home for yet another block, "He's been trained for that kind of thing."

EJ looked up to find both Sami and Eric looking at him a big askew.

"Apparently," he said hastily, "Not that I ever have of course - I just read it in the literature that came with Roger."

"You guys are really starting freak me out with this no sex thing," said Eric with a teasing shake of his head, "If I were Roger I'd be starting to get worried right about now."

"Very amusing," said EJ flatly but the little smile on his lips told Eric that he wasn't really annoyed.

Eric left then, sans Roger who stayed behind but this time up on the sofa, obviously having decided that the dump truck game was no longer that much fun. Sami watched with a tender smile curved on her lips as EJ and the twins played together again. He was such a good father and had taken to it like it was second nature to him. EJ was always patient with them and always consistent, always meaning what he said and saying what he meant to them. One day when they were older Ali and Johnny would realise how lucky they were to have EJ as their father.

From where Sami sat crossed legged on the floor she watched as EJ began to build a train track for Johnny to run his little train engine across, long fingers carefully organising the blocks into a series of neat curves despite Johnny's 'help'. Sami's eyelids drooped a little as she remember the feel of this large hands on her body…

_Sami slowly woke to the feeling of hands skimming up the length of her calves, up along the back of her thighs and higher as she lay face down in the bed. They gently stroked and kneaded as they went until they reached her naked bottom cheeks. Sami gave a muffled squeak as EJ playfully pinched them, her happy sighs up until that point telling him she was already awake. _

"_Bad boy," she pouted at him over her shoulder, not bothering to open her eyes._

"_Very bad boy," he agreed with a deep chuckle and then she squirmed as she suddenly felt his teeth sinking into one full bottom cheek, his tongue licking at the captured flesh. _

"_I'm going to bruise," she protested with a little laugh, not really caring as he proceeded to give her a hickey in the rather intimate place._

"_I'm laying claim to your ass," he told her throatily and she had to laugh at that, "Marking my territory."_

"_That isn't very logical EJ," she giggled as he moved onto her other bottom cheek, "It's not like many other people get to see my butt naked."_

"_They'd better not," he growled possessively, abandoning his position in favour of moving more fully over her, his hot breath in her ear now, "You're all mine Samantha, no one else's."_

"_Remind me EJ," she said throatily, moving her legs apart even as she lay face down on the bed in silent invitation._

"_Gladly," he muttered, one hand going to the back of her knee and pushing it forward, rolling her slightly on her side. _

_She knew he would be hard enough for her already, they both needed so little foreplay that it was ridiculous. Sami felt him position himself at her already dripping opening and she held her breath, living for this moment, that first penetration when he'd push into her, stretching her and making her feel complete again. He entered her slowly, too slowly, making her wait for every single inch of him until she was shaking from the need to have him completely. At last he was completely sheathed in her, she knew his size so well now that she could tell when he was utterly encased in her wetness. One hand supported most of his weight off her on the bed, just beside her head and the other moved to her breast, sliding in under her body, cupping it's weight._

"_Mine," he grunted in her ear, beginning to move inside her now ever so slowly, each thrust carefully measured as he squeezed her breast in time to his thrust, "You belong to me Samantha - say it."_

"_I belong to you EJ," she gasped, her cheek against the bed sheets, her eyes closed in delirious pleasure._

_God how she loved it when he screwed her slowly like this. She loved however he did it truth be told but these early morning bouts always made her come so damn hard. She began to push her hips back to meet his slow thrusts but he stopped her._

"_Let me do all the work baby girl," he whispered in her ear, "I'm going to make you scream so loud Samantha by the time I'm done with you."_

"_Oh yes," she groaned, knowing he'd do just that, "Please EJ."_

_She felt him start to press kisses down her naked back, his morning beard scrapping across the delicate skin of her back, his tongue tracing the dip of her spine. _

"_Samantha," he rasped against her skin and she thrilled at the desire in his voice, "Samantha…"_

"Samantha?"

Sami blinked rapidly realising that her fantasy EJ wasn't just talking to her in her head anymore. She focused her vision to see the real EJ sitting there with Johnny in front of him, looking at her enquiringly.

"Yes… what… sorry… what?" she stammered, trying to get herself back under control.

EJ's lips curved up in a knowing smile, looking at the pleasingly pink flush that she was sporting. His warm chocolate eyes were twinkling telling her that he knew exactly where she'd just been and she rolled her eyes at him, not bothering to deny it.

"I asked if you could pass over the box for the toys," he repeated patiently, "It's time to pack up everything."

"Of course," said Sami brightly, passing the toy box to EJ.

EJ took it from her but made sure that his hand when he grabbed it was close to hers, his index finger moving so that it lay over the top of hers briefly as he held her gaze for a long moment.

"Thank you Mummy," he said huskily and Sami gave a little self conscious smile at him, his light touch not helping with her already erratic pulse rate.

Sami shook her head at herself as she watched EJ and the twins pack up. Her children were right there and all she could think about was EJ doing her from behind.

_What kind of mother was she to do that?!_

A horny one she decided with a sigh… a very, very horny one.

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami wandered downstairs later that evening after checking on the twins to find EJ sitting on the sofa, bent over some paperwork.

"I thought you didn't have any work from the office to do tonight?" she said to him, coming and taking a seat beside him.

Sami frowned a little at all of the numbers and calculations on the various sheets of paper. She picked one up and looked at EJ quizzically and then back at it.

"What is this EJ?" she asked him with a little bit of a laugh.

"Ah," confessed EJ, looking a little sheepish, "I'm working out how long it is exactly until we can be intimate again."

"Excuse me?" said Sami looking a little taken aback.

"I find it sooths me," said EJ straight faced.

"Really?" laughed Sami with a shake of her head, "But what's with all the numbers everywhere - it's going to be December 24th EJ, today is December 10th so that's thirteen days."

"I'm being a bit more precise about it," he informed her calmly, "And when I've worked it all out I'm going to buy a large clock to count it down."

Sami gave him a slightly bemused look, trying to work out if he was teasing her or not.

"So while I've got you," continued on EJ blithely, "What do you think is an acceptable length of time to stay at our own wedding reception before retiring for the night."

"I don't know," shrugged Sami, still a little bemused, "Two and half… three hours I guess."

EJ frowned and looked down at his calculations.

"Why?" she asked him, seeing the look on his face, "What did you put down?"

"Fifty two minutes twenty eight seconds," admitted EJ with a rueful grimace.

"That's not even an hour EJ!" exclaimed Sami with a little laugh, "And by the way - a really weird number!"

"I worked it all out scientifically," said EJ, perfectly serious, "On how long it would take people to eat their meals, the speeches, the bridal waltz etc."

Sami looked at him in bemusement as he continued on blithely.

"I've also factored in such things as us walking into the reception," said EJ, consulting his notes, "Although I think we can shave a few seconds off that with some practice. You walk pretty slowly Samantha, it's probably those little legs of yours but maybe you and Tracy can work on that so that your walk is a bit faster so that means we can…"

"Are you serious?" asked Sami wide eyed, trying not to burst into outright laugher.

"Don't I look serious?" he asked her earnestly and she had to admit that he did, indeed look serious.

"But…" she began and he interrupted her.

"Samantha," said EJ urgently, "We are currently only about two hundred and sixty four hours into the six hundred hours before we can be together again properly as man and wife. I for one need to know exactly how much time I have to go and build up the necessary stamina reserves to get me across that line. Believe me sweetheart - every second counts from where I am sitting!"

"That is so sweet EJ," she told him, the corners of her mouth turning up at the desperation in his eyes.

"Sweet?" he repeated in disappointment, "Not sexy or masculine in the way I'm taking charge or…"

"You talk too much," she informed him with a sultry look, putting her arms around EJ's neck, "Now put down your pencil EJ and pick up your wife."

"Your wish…" said EJ, pulling her up and into his lap with an impish smile, "… is my command milady."

EJ traced the line of Sami's face, looking at her adoringly.

"You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my entire life," he told her achingly.

"Oh EJ," she sighed, truly believing him, "I love you."

"Prove it," he teased her, rubbing his chin against hers.

"And how would you like me to do that Mr DiMera?" she said softly.

"I'm sure you'll think of something," he told her huskily.

Sami couldn't stand not to be kissing him any longer, just closing the distance between them and pulling him into a steamy kiss. She took charge, demanding and gaining entry into his mouth, their tongues duelling hungrily. EJ finally had to break the kiss to catch his breath.

"That works," he groaned before she pulled him back into more kisses.

Sami could feel him getting hard against her as she sat on his lap and there was an answering wetness between her legs as their kisses became more heated. Sami grabbed EJ's hand and put it on her breast, encouraging him to squeeze the soft flesh which he happily obliged her in. EJ sought out and found her nipple through the material of her blouse and bra and pinched it hard between his fingers making her whimper with pleasure.

Sami's hands went to EJ's shirt, unbuttoning it quickly and pushing it off his shoulders a little before pulling away from his kisses and hungrily moving down his neck, pressing heated kisses as she went. Her short finger nails raked his chest through the smattering of chest hair before her tongue followed, licking and soothing the same area. She breathed in the masculine scent of him, feeling herself begin to get a little dizzy from it all. Her avid tongue found his own nipples now and she returned the favour as both his hands were at her breasts now, biting at the little nubs of flesh and wringing more groans from him. Her hands moved lower, finger nails scratching across his flat stomach, relishing the way the muscles became rock hard under her touch. EJ gasped as she began to wiggle her bottom back and forth on his lap a little.

"Oh bad idea sweetheart," he protested with a groan.

"Why?" she breathed into his ear, knowing full well what his problem was, feeling his erection very distinctly against her now.

Sami began to nibble delicately at his ear, still moving slowly back and forth on him, enjoying teasing him so. EJ's hands left her breast much to her disappointment and grabbed at her hips, stilling her movements.

"This is so going to be worth it EJ," she promised him throatily, seeing the way he was shaking in an attempt to control himself.

Sami licked a stray strand of sweat from his cheek, slowly dragging her tongue along his skin, enjoying the salty taste.

"I'm going to make you feel so good baby," she said huskily, knowing she had to stop now because she was getting herself too worked as well.

"Mmm," EJ groaned happily, shuddering at her promise before kissing her again.

EJ finally found the strength to stop kissing her, resting his forehead against hers as they both struggled to regain control of themselves and their breathing. Sami sighed heavily and moved off EJ's lap and EJ groaned at the loss even as Sami sat back beside him on the sofa, snuggling into him.

"You know we could probably cut the cake while the speeches are being made," said Sami faintly after a moment or two, her heart hammering wildly in her chest as she went back to their original conversation, "I have a feeling I'll be wanting a knife in my hand when John gives his speech anyway."

"Excellent point darling," said EJ shakily, trying to calm himself back down as well, "Way to multitask."

In the end after a bit more backing and forthing EJ and Sami managed to get it down to 14 minutes, 11 seconds.

"I may need to work on this alone," admitted EJ ruefully, looking at the figure and shaking his head before looking at the gorgeousness that was his wife, his eyes running hungrily up and down her.

"I know I do," groaned Sami, feeling the ache between her legs and crossing her legs, pressing them tightly together, trying to relieve some of the discomfort there.

"Oh no!" said EJ, feeling himself start to perspire slightly as he imagined her doing just that, "You said no orgasms until the wedding and that means with or without the other person."

"But EJ," groaned Sami, grabbing his arm and looking at him desperately, "You're married to a crazy woman, how can you not know that by now!"

"We can do this Samantha," said EJ, trying to be the voice of reason and not look directly down her top as she leaned in closer to him.

"Can we?" asked Sami sceptically, not entirely sure she could.

"Yes," said EJ but he was shaking his head even as he said it.

"You're shaking your head EJ," she pointed out to him wryly.

"I know," he said weakly, "I can't make it stop."

They gave each other a long, desperate and lustful look then before both dissolving into laughter at their own hopelessness. EJ leant further over then and kissed her hard on the mouth.

"Come our wedding night Mrs DiMera," he told her throatily, "I'm going to make you pay and pay big time for all of this suffering you're putting us through."

"Oh," sighed Sami, melting into his kisses as he reclaimed her mouth, causing her head to spin wildly, "Goody."


	61. Chapter 61

**Chapter SIXTY ONE**

Two days later 'Days Of Our Loves' had just finished and Sami, Emily and Joseph were all in the living room happily chatting away with Sami. It had pretty much become a ritual for the three of them to get together on good JT and Cami days - they'd even come up with a name for it - Jami day's. Somehow or other the conversation had turned to bad girl stories. Sami had been pretty confident she'd win this particular game but after they'd been talking for a little bit she was beginning to rethink that.

"Okay," said Joseph with a wave of his hand and leaning in towards them both in a conspiratorial fashion, "This one time I had a really ugly break up with this guy Troy who turned out to be a real sluttalina - he was two timing me… or more correctly four timing me."

"Oh poor Joe!" said Sami, knowing how that felt, "You must have felt terrible!"

"Not as terrible as he did by the time I was finished with him," said Joseph smugly, "I broke into his house and put fish heads on top of the fan blades in his house and then he had this velvet coach that he absolutely adored… I had this bucket of rancid prawns that I shoved into all the cushion covers and into every crevice I could find! I made sure I did it on a weekend I knew he was going to be away so when he got back Sunday night he got the full benefit of all my labours!"

A very self satisfied smirk came to Joseph's face as he remembered that particular little piece of revenge.

"Oh my Joey," laughed Emily, "That was quite creative of you."

"That wasn't all," admitted Joseph and then he had the grace to look a little chagrined at this next part, "I started a rumour that he had gonorrhoeae."

"Joseph!" exclaimed Sami, her jaw dropping, "That is awful!"

"Well he deserved it!" said Joseph defensively, "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned after all!"

"Well I think I can top that," said Sami ruefully as Joseph got up and went to get himself a bottle of the dreaded 'judgemental' water, "I once tried to sell my little half sister on the black market when she was a baby thinking it would bring my Mom and Dad back together again."

"OH MY GOD!" screeched Joseph, staggering a little as he was walking back to the sofa, "Do _not_ tell me those kind of stories unless I'm already sitting down Samantha Jean!"

"It gets better," she admitted sheepishly, "Or worse… depending on how you look at it."

"Oh my sweet lord!" exclaimed Joseph, grabbing her hand and holding it to his chest in a dramatic fashion, "Honey, if anyone was ever going to turn me it would be you!"

Sami and Emily had to giggle at his dramatics then. So once Joseph was settled in again Sami began the shameful litany of her past crimes of which they were many and varied. After each one Joseph kept on sucking in deeper and deeper horrified breaths of glee at Sami's past wickedness until he was red in the face.

"Joey honey," said Emily indulgently after a little while of this and Sami's stories didn't seem to be coming to an end quickly, "Breath out occasionally - you'll hyperventilate at this rate."

"Oh Emmy honey I have no time for that!" gushed Joseph excitedly, dizzy with all the dirt that was being dished now.

He grabbed Sami's hand again and dropped to his knees in front of her.

"Run away with me my wicked girl!" he pleaded with her desperately, "Leave that gorgeous streak of man love and be mine forever!"

Sami covered her mouth with her other hand, giggling madly at Joseph's extravagant display and wild proposal. Joseph pursed his lips thoughtfully then, obviously rethinking that."

"Actually," he mused, tilting his head to one side, still on his knees in front of her, "On seconds thoughts bring big, buff and British with you…"

Joseph gave her a knowing look and a saucy wink.

"… we can share him," he told her wiggling his eye brows at her suggestively, "I have a feeling there is more than enough of him to go round judging by those huge feet of his… am I right honey?"

"Joseph!" exclaimed Sami, pretending outrage.

"So that's a yes then?" he teased her, greatly interested now.

Sami looked down at him and tried to be serious but she couldn't do it.

"That's a hell yes Joseph if you must know," she said, a smug smile spreading across her face.

"I hate you!" groaned Joseph enviously.

"I was on death row and given a lethal injection for killing an old fiancé of mine even though I didn't do it," she informed him without missing a beat, continuing on with her list of crimes to make up to Joseph for her good fortune.

Joseph sucked in a horrified gasp at that, looking up at her in wide eyed wonder.

"I once knocked EJ out with a narcotic in my lipstick before we got together…" she continued on straight faced.

Joseph gasped.

"… then I poured gasoline over him…" said Sami and by now Joseph's eyes were the size of dinner plates as he still pulled in strangled gasps of air.

"… and then I lit a match and held it over him… twice…" said Sami with a grimace remembering that horrible night, "And then to get me back EJ snuck into my hospital room and pretended to inject my drip with poison."

This was too much for Joseph, he sucked in one final long breath but just as Emily predicted at some point he should have really considered exhaling because the overload of oxygen caused him to promptly faint. Fortunately because he was still on his knees in front of Sami he didn't have far to fall as he keeled over to one side.

"Joe!" exclaimed Sami in horror as he crumpled at her feet.

"Oh Joey," said Emily with a resigned shake of her head.

"Should we call 911?" asked Sami anxiously.

"No dear," said Emily calmly, "As soon as he passed out he would have exhaled, he'll be fine in a moment."

Right on cue Joseph gave a little groan, his eyes fluttering open.

"Am I dead?" he asked weakly.

"No Joey," said Emily as she and Sami got on either side of him and took and arm each, helping him up to the sofa, "You just hyperventilated and passed out, you'll be fine."

They settled him back on the sofa and Emily went and got him another bottle of water while Sami fanned him with a magazine.

"Oh Joey," laughed Emily at him as he sat there looking decidedly groggy as she handed him the bottle of water, "You certainly seem to go down a lot."

"Well that's always been my claim to fame so far," nodded Joseph happily albeit a little dazedly.

"That was quite the courtship you and EJ had going my dear," commented Emily with a little smile.

"Yeah," nodded Sami with a roll of her eyes, "It was complicated to say the least. We've both done some pretty bad things in our lives."

"Posh," said Emily with a wave of her hand, "You're all amateurs, the lot of you."

Sami and Joseph looked at Emily expectantly and she didn't disappoint.

"I killed my first husband," Emily announced calmly as though she was commenting on the weather.

"And we have a winner ladies and gentleman!" proclaimed Joseph loudly, looking at Emily with even more admiration than he usually did.

"Really Emily?" asked Sami and it was her turned to be wide eyed and suck in a startled breath, "What happened?"

"Well…" began Emily but that was as far as she got because there was a sudden commotion at the door as Rolf attempted but failed to keep the latest visitor out.

Nicole Walker pushed past Rolf rather viciously and stormed into the room.

"YOU BITCH!" she screeched at the top of her lungs.

Joseph sucked in another loud gasp, his eyes wide and everyone but Nicole who was still staring daggers at Sami looked at him worriedly, frightened he was having a stroke or something.

"Oh my god sweetie!" he swooned, "Those shoes are absolutely killer!"

"I know," said Nicole with a smug smile but her eyes were still on Sami, "You vindictive bitch queen from the bowels of hell!"

Joseph looked from at Sami and Emily and back to Nicole.

"Which one of us are you talking to honey?" asked Joseph brightly.

"Her!" hissed Nicole, pointing an accusatory finger at Sami who was looking up at her a little bemusedly but unfazed by being singled out, "That bleached lying tramp sitting right there like butter wouldn't melt in her mouth!"

"I think you of all people Nicole shouldn't comment on what people put in their mouths," she goaded the other woman, on reflex more than anything.

"Oh you think you're so smart don't you?!" growled Nicole, "Well you're going to pay for what you've done."

"What have you done sugar?" asked Joseph with great interest, he always did love a good cat fight.

"Who knows?" shrugged Sami unconcerned as she got up and faced off against the other woman, "Nicole is completely delusional - she's undoubtedly made something up to accuse me of."

"Oh I didn't make this up!" she snarled, "I saw Ben this morning!"

"That's great," said Sami with a shrug having no idea who this Ben was, "Good for you, thanks for sharing, don't let the door hit that flat, bony ass of yours on the way out Nicole."

"From the bar that night!" filled in Nicole in exasperation when Sami just stared back at her blankly, "Ben was a friend of Guy - you remember - the one that had his tongue down your throat?!"

Sami frowned, not liking to be reminded of that night which was easy because it was still pretty hazy.

"Ahh…" said Sami, pursing her lips and having a look of concentration on her face.

"Oh spare me from people who can't hold their liquor!" snapped Nicole impatiently as Sami struggled to remember the man she was talking about.

"Oh so sorry that we can't all be booze hounds like you Nicole!" said Sami sarcastically, "Some of us actually have people who love us and don't feel the need to drink their lives away."

"Ouch," grimaced Joseph to Emily, "Remind me to stay on the right side of our girl - this kitten has claws!"

"And the stories about the gasoline and matches didn't give you a hint about that Joey dear?" asked Emily dryly.

"So what about this Ben?" asked Sami, looking very bored, having the vaguest recollection of him now.

"I ran into him again today," Nicole bit out, "We had lunch together, everything was going great…"

"Fantastic," said Sami flatly, "Send me an invitation to the wedding."

"And then something rather interesting came up," continued on Nicole as though Sami hadn't interrupted, glaring at her, "Care to guess what that might have been Sami?"

"I don't know?" shrugged Sami off handedly, "That you're an ex porn star who married one man because his Mommy paid you millions of dollars to do so and married another one who was old enough to be your father and then tried to kill him before taking him to the cleaners for as much as you could extort out of him?"

"Oh," whimpered Joseph, his eyes almost rolling back in his head at this latest juicy revelation and grabbing Emily's hand, "Are you _sure_ I'm not in heaven Emmy?"

"Almost positively," said Emily with a smile, enjoying herself as well, "Although if heaven has a floor show I rather imagine it would be exactly like this."

"I hope so," sighed Joseph happily, focusing his attention back on the duelling divas.

"No!" snapped Nicole, her eyes narrowing dangerously, "Guess again."

"This is a getting old Nicole," said Sami with a sweet smile, "Not unlike yourself really if those lines around your eyes are anything to go by."

"You told him I used to be a man," bit out Nicole, ignoring that last crack.

"What?" asked Sami, scrunching up her face.

"Ben," said Nicole through clenched teeth, "You told him I used to be a man but I'd had the operation and I kept Mr Winky in a jar beside the bed for good luck!"

Emily put her hand to her mouth to cover her smile, trying to remember her manners. Joseph didn't feel the need to be so polite, tittering away to himself.

"I did?" asked Sami, a little smile on her face, "Huh."

"Well don't you have something to say to me Sami?" asked Nicole angrily.

"It's probably those big feet of yours and those man hands you've got," commented Sami idly, "And the way you don't have an actual ass and you're kind of flat chested… that's probably why he thought you used to be a man."

"BEN THOUGHT I USED TO BE A MAN BECAUSE YOU _TOLD_ _HIM_ I USED TO BE A MAN!" Nicole had returned to screeching her sentences now.

Eric came in from the foyer then having just returned from visiting his father and stopped dead in his tracks at Nicole's extremely vocal announcement.

"Excuse me?" he said, his lips quirking, "What have I missed exactly?"

"I'll tell you've what you missed Eric!" snapped Nicole, "You're hate filled troll of a sister told this guy that was interested in me that I used to be a man! What do you think of that?!"

Eric looked at Nicole and then at Sami who had her hands on her hips looking completely unrepentant and then back at an outraged Nicole and then promptly burst into laughter. This latest development did not improve Nicole's humour any!

"Oh laugh it up big boy!" she growled at him, her eyes spitting death at him.

"Oh I will," he chortled to her, "Don't worry about that sweetheart!"

"I don't know what are you laughing about Eric!" she baited him angrily, "Apparently you dated a woman who looks like they used to be a man!"

"Oh," said Eric, suddenly stopping laughing and raising his eyebrows, "You're right."

He thought about it for a minute and then shook his head.

"No," he said most definitely, "Yours is way more embarrassing than mine."

And with that he promptly burst into laughter again.

**oooOOOOooo**

Today had been a good day Sami decided, a smile on her face. She'd had fun with Emily and Joseph, humiliated Nicole and now she was enjoying some special time with her man on the couch.

"What's that smile for?" asked EJ as he came he pulled her more fully into his arms.

"I'll tell you later," she smiled up at him, "Now shut up and kiss me idiot. The twins are asleep, everyone is out and we have this whole mansion to ourselves."

"You make a salient point Mrs DiMera," nodded EJ thoughtfully.

"And yet there is still no kissing," sighed Sami dramatically, "I guess I might go and watch some TV or something in that case."

Sami made as though to get up and EJ lunged at her.

"Oh no you don't missy," he informed her, pinning her to the sofa, one leg between hers as he held himself above her, "I've got something way more entertaining planned for our evening than that!"

"Do tell Mr DiMera," she smirked up at him but EJ didn't answer her, deciding to show her instead.

He leaned down, finding her waiting lips and kissing them fiercely, not interested in starting slow which suited Sami fine. They hadn't had their morning snuggle because the twins were up especially early seeming to want to make up for the other days late start. EJ pushed Sami back on the sofa, quickly covering her body with his own, one knee between her legs to take most of his weight off her. Sami wrapped her arms around EJ's neck and returned his kisses just as passionately.

EJ pulled back then and made a grab for his shirt, hastily pulling it over his head and throwing it to the ground. Sami giggled at how quickly he did that and the way he urgently then went to work on her own blouse buttons, his usually dexterous fingers fumbling a little in his haste.

"This reminds me of when we were dating," she teased him laughingly.

EJ grinned down at her in answering amusement.

"It does a little," he agreed and then his grin widened, "And now in the words of my stunningly beautiful wife - shut up and kiss me idiot."

Sami giggled again but obliged him, their kiss making her toes curl in the shoes she was still wearing. EJ tore his mouth from hers, pressing hot kisses along the length of her neck, before dotting them along her jaw and back to her lips, groaning into her mouth at the sweet taste of her.

"You a are the most gloriously sexy creature I have ever known in my entire life," he groaned against her lips, "This is killing me Samantha!"

"I know," she gasped, unable to stop herself from pushing her hips up against his, making them both moan, "I can't stand it! I want to do so many things to you EJ."

"Tell me sweetheart," he encouraged her excitedly, "Tell me what you want!"

"You'll kiss me all over," she said breathlessly.

"Like this?" he asked her huskily and Sami shuddered to feel his mouth move over her chest, hot breath against her skin.

"Mm," she mumbled, her eyes sliding shut now, "You'll touch my breasts…"

EJ dutifully cupped them through her bra and squeezed.

"My nipples are already hard and aching for your touch," she said unevenly.

EJ bent his head down, positioning his mouth at one pert bud clearly outlined through the lace of her bra, his moist breath heating the delicate flesh.

"I.. I want you to take me into your mouth right away but you make me wait," she said breathlessly, "Until I can't stand it and make you."

Sami's hand went to the back of EJ's head, dragging his head down while she thrust her breast up at the same time and she groaned helplessly as his attached himself to her breast, silently cursing the material stopping her from feeling properly there.

"Don't stop!" he groaned, around a mouthful of her breast, "Keep going!"

"I… I know you like doing this for me," said Sami weakly, trying to concentrate as best she could when he was doing that to her body, "I can feel you getting harder all the time against me and… and the thought gets me so wet…"

EJ groaned again, suckling a little harder now and pushing his groin more fully between her legs and letting her feel the truth of her words.

"You need… need to release your hardness from your pants now because it's too painful to wait any longer," she told him unsteadily, closing her eyes tightly, imagining what he would look like right now if she could see him properly naked.

EJ obviously agreed with her assessment because his hand went to the front of his jeans, fumbling with the buckle of his belt and then there was the sound of his zip being undone.

"I'd want to touch you," she said, her voice starting to sound strained now as her arousal began to build a little too much, "But you won't let me, you need to be inside me too much now…"

"Samantha!" he said raggedly, wanting more than anything to be able to do just that.

He dragged his mouth from her breast and began to kiss his way down her flat stomach until he reached her belly button, circling the rim of the indentation with his tongue.

"You push into me without asking if I'm ready," she gasped, feeling his tongue suddenly plunge into her belly button, "And… and I want to scream at how good it feels when you do but you're already starting to thrust in and out of m… me…"

Sami trailed off faintly as she felt him begin to re-enact her words with his tongue repeatedly thrusting itself into her navel, at first slowly and then faster and faster before slowing again and circling around the rim again and then repeating the entire process all over again. Sami groaned loudly, arching her back, incredibly turned on by his actions but also so frustrated at how it reminded her of what she was missing out on these days.

"Oh god EJ!" she cried out, hands going to his and pulling on his short hair, "Don't – no more please! I can't stand it!"

"Samantha," he groaned, moving up her body, kissing her again, both of their bodies throbbing with frustration now.

EJ's hand moved from her breast and began to head determinedly lower, stopping briefly to find her still wet navel and trace the edge before delving briefly into the delicate indent and making her squirm. His hand started to drift lower again now and Sami held her breath, certain she didn't have the strength to stop him now and she tensed, so ready for what he was about to do next.

The sound of the front door bell was an unwanted but much needed reminder of the real world and they both froze, looking at each other wide eyes. It sounded again but there was no Rolf to answer it seeing it was his 'art class' night and EJ groaned loudly.

"_HEY! LET US IN!"_

John's loud voice rolling in from the other side of the door was a definite wake up call, killing the moment utterly.

"_Nephew! Let us in! Wild cat! Come on - it's freezing out here!"_

John's voice bellowed out to them from the other side of the front door.

"Oh god!" groaned EJ in frustration as he reluctantly hauled himself off Sami and started to get redressed, "Don't these people have a home to go to?!"

"This is their home EJ," pointed out Sami a little breathlessly as she struggled to sit up and calm herself down after that heavy petting session.

"Samantha," grumped EJ with a pout, "I am in no mood for logical thinking right now!"

Sami laughed at that but then there was the sound of some one trying the door only to find it was locked.

"_Just use your key John."_

Sami could hear her mother's ever patient voice on the other side of the door and felt a flash of panic.

"_But I know they're in there." _

The complaining sound of John's voice sounded again.

"Quickly EJ!" she hissed as he seemed to be having trouble co-ordinating himself, "They're going to be here any second!"

EJ hastily pulled his zip up on his jeans, looking around for his shirt as Sami frantically struggled to do up the buttons of her blouse, looking very stressed all of a sudden.

"All this scene needs is a stink bomb and it really will be like when we were dating," muttered EJ unhappily.

For some reason Sami found that amusing, beginning to titter. EJ looked over at her as he pulled on his shirt and shook his head, finding the humour in it as well and giving a rueful grin. They could hear everyone in the foyer now as Sami and EJ straightened the last of their clothes. EJ held her gaze and mouthed 'I love you' to her and Sami smiled, doing the same before they turned round and presented an united front to the rest of their family, EJ with his hand on Sami's lower back, gently caressing her.

"Well the ballet sucks!" announced John as he walked into the room, not bothering with any pleasantries.

"You're home early Mom," noted Sami, ignoring John and self consciously pulling on her blouse after noticing out of the corner of her eye that she'd done her buttons up crookedly.

"There was an incident," Marlena informed them calmly.

"Uncle John," groaned EJ, looking to the heavens and praying for strength.

"He started it," said John unrepentantly, "I just finished it."

"Yes and I'm not even sure how you managed to do that exactly," said Marlena with a bit of a frown, "One moment we're all just standing there, drinks in hand, I turn away for a moment and when I look back the poor man is stretched out unconscious on the ground!"

"Did your drinks have straws?" asked EJ straight faced.

"Ah… yes," replied Marlena uncertainly and both Sami and she looked at him with a frown finding that an odd question to ask, "Why EJ?"

"Just setting the scene in my mind Marlena," said EJ easily and then he and John shared a look but beyond that John wasn't saying anything, "So are my services going to be required in the morning Uncle John? Should we be expecting a law suit or some kind of restraining order to be in tomorrows post?"

"I wouldn't rule it out," nodded John expressionlessly and still clearly thinking he was in the right.

"Right," sighed EJ, "I'll clear my morning then shall I?"

"I would," agreed John as he wandered over to pour himself a glass of scotch, "Visiting royalty can be a bit of a handful when they're annoyed."

"Yes well perhaps if you didn't feel the need to ann… wait, did you just say visiting royalty Uncle John?" asked EJ, starting to get worried now.

"Relax Nephew," said John with a casual wave of his hand, "He's from one of those little European countries – no biggy."

EJ just shook his head at how blasé John was being about assaulting a member of a royal family, no matter how small their country might be. He sent a nervous look down at Sami to see how she was handling this latest turn of events and was surprised to see her looking quite calm and a little thoughtful.

"You seem… relaxed sweetheart," noted EJ a little cautiously, not sure she was understanding the possible seriousness of the situation.

"Question," she said, looking up at EJ, "If you can't smooth this over for John that means he'll be going to jail right?"

"Possibly," shrugged EJ, "It depends on a number of things Samantha."

"But he could be in jail for I don't know… say the wedding for example – that's a possibility isn't it EJ?" she asked him in all seriousness.

"Oh way to make lemonade from lemons sweetheart," nodded EJ with a slow smile, realising where she was going with that train of thought.

"Well that would be a shame," said John with a bit of a frown, "I'd hate to see you kids postpone your wedding again all on my account."

EJ and Sami exchanged looks then, both thinking the same thing. John caught that look and frowned, looking offended now.

"I'm the best man," he pointed out to them with a pout, "You can't get married with out me!"

"We managed it last time," returned EJ in amusement.

"Yeah and look how _that_ turned out," sniffed John taking a sip of his scotch and giving them both a defiant look and EJ and Sami simply gave up then.

_Clearly come hell or high water John was going to be at this wedding and rather ironically neither of those possibilities could be ruled out because of that little fact!_


	62. Chapter 62

**Chapter SIXTY TWO**

EJ scratched the back of his head tiredly, his bare feet almost silent on the polished surface of the floor as he trudged down to the kitchen. It was the wee hours of the morning but he couldn't sleep. He was tired but his brain just wouldn't turn off and the now familiar ache in his groin just wouldn't let him find any sleep even if he could. A glass of warm milk was his last chance at getting sleep at some point in the night and that was what he was doing. EJ pushed on the door of the kitchen and walked through only to come to a dead stop at the sight that met his bleary eyes.

Sami was bent over, bathed in a glow from the refrigerator light, her shapely backside pointing towards him in all its glory. EJ had a sudden flash back to that first night all those months ago now when he'd gone to check on her and found her moving armoires around. That night had ended very satisfactorily EJ had to say but he didn't have much hope of that tonight. Despite that he couldn't stop himself from just standing there and admiring what was on display, his body responding helplessly to the vision in front of him. He must have made a noise or something, possibly a quiet whimper because Sami straightened up and half turned around, one hand still on the refrigerator door.

"You're up," he croaked when he saw her looking expectantly at him.

Sami slowly turned to face him properly, closing the door of the refrigerator as she did. EJ blinked a couple of times to adjust his eyes to the lower light but there was enough to see the little smile on her face.

"So are you," she purred, her gaze dropping to the definite bulge in the front of his sweat pants.

"Yup," nodded EJ ruefully, there wasn't any real point in denying it.

Sami's smile widened, her eyes teasing. She looked around the kitchen then and then back at him.

"Do you remember our first time in here?" she asked him coyly.

"Vividly," he rasped, this conversation was not going to help him any with his sleep problem.

"Can't sleep huh?" she asked him softly, moving towards him.

"No," whispered EJ, mesmerised as she moved closer, unable to take his eyes off her.

"Me either," she sighed; now standing directly in front of him.

Sami looked up at him through her eyelashes.

"What do you think we should do about that EJ?" she asked him quietly, her hands going to his naked chest.

She very lightly raked them down his chest, stopping at the waist band of his sweat pants.

"Samantha?" he looked at her uncertainly, his breathing starting to get uneven now.

Her fingers dipped under the elastic waist band of his pants and ran around the edges of it, feeling his muscles tense and release at each touch of her hand.

"You seem very anxious EJ," she said, moving so close now that she had to crane her head right back to still be looking him in the eye.

Without warning one hand dipped lower and encircled his already impressive girth making him jerk and make a strangled gasping noise.

"And so tense," she noted, her voice all smooth and full of promise, "Would you like me to relieve some of that tension for you EJ?"

EJ knew he should have asked her if she was sure, remind her that they had less than a week to go but then she squeezed his trapped member tightly and all that mattered was that Sami kept doing exactly what she was doing until she finally put him out of his misery. EJ nodded mutely, his eyes full of adoring rapture for her and Sami gave a self satisfied smile to see it.

"Pants," she instructed him, not taking her eyes off him.

EJ scrambled to push his pants down, keeping eye contact with her even as she maintained her hold of him. Sami looked pleased with his haste so gave him another task.

"Sit," she ordered him and EJ's arm flailed behind him as he tried to find one of the kitchen table chairs he knew was behind him without looking away from Sami.

He managed to find one and promptly sat down, although a little carefully considering the hold she still had on him. Sami knelt between his legs, pushing his knees apart to make room for herself there. She released him then, her hands going to rest on his thighs, kneading the muscles she found there and watching his manhood jump at the simple action. She kissed a little line down the hard planes of his chest and stomach, causing EJ's breath to catch in his throat at each light caress.

Sami looked up from the impossibly swollen member to make sure EJ was watching her, which shouldn't have really been a concern all things considered. Sami's little pink tongue appeared, flicking at his velvety tip and making EJ squirm almost violently and hiss loudly.

"Behave yourself," she chided him teasingly.

"Trying sweetheart," he groaned around a smile, "But you're not making this easy."

"Some things are better hard," she said suggestively, licking her lips slowly, "In fact… the harder the better sometimes."

EJ tried to speak then but it came out more as a guttural rasp than anything else but Sami didn't seem to require him to come up with scintillating conversation right then. She held his gaze, moving her lips to his now purple tip and slid ever so slowly down his turgid length, as far as she could go. Every muscle in EJ's impressive body tensed and he grabbed at the sides of his chair with both hands, digging his short clipped nails into the wood and marking it for sure. He strained not to move under her touch, the effort near killing him.

"Oh god sweetheart," he rasped the warning at her, his voice uneven and desperate, "This isn't going to take long."

Sami slowly drew herself back off his rigid length, sucking as she went, cheeks hollowing out at the force of the suction she was creating and making him whimper helplessly. She released him finally with a little pop sound and he made a deeply unhappy noise, bereft at the loss of contact with her. Sami looked up at him, a knowing look on her face.

"I'll decide how long this is going to take EJ," she informed him firmly.

She reached out with one hand and picked up a glass that was resting on the table that was filled with ice. EJ wondered if it had been there the whole time because he hadn't noticed it when he came in but then again, all he'd really noticed was Sami. For all he knew the room could be on fire but he couldn't bare to take his eyes off her to check. Sami lifted the ice filled glass to her lips and let a couple of cubes slide into her mouth before setting the glass back down. The muscles that had relaxed somewhat when she'd released him tensed again when he realized what she had planned for him.

"Oh thank you god, thank you god," he whispered shakily, preparing himself for the oncoming onslaught as best he could.

EJ couldn't stop himself from crying out loudly as the now icy recess of her mouth took him into its' depths again. The feel of the wetness of her mouth, the pressure of her lips and the stimulation of her tongue combined with the freezing cold of the ice cubes still in her mouth was excruciatingly good. All of EJ's senses were overloaded. The sight of her crouched over in his lap, blonde hair spilling out over his legs and hands on either knee, the noises she made as she pleasured him, making it sound as though she was enjoying this even more than he was which wasn't physically possible EJ was sure. Her sweet smell in his nostrils and her mouth, her glorious mouth sucking and pulling on his distended member – at once hot and cold – an impossible combination.

It was too much to take in and EJ lost himself in her, giving himself over to her utterly.

She worked on him skilfully until he was a jabbering mess, pleading and begging with her to end it for him before he died from this desperate pleasure. She'd let get him get so close, he was almost there, almost ready to have his release at long last and Sami would seem to know, slowing right down and adding more ice to her mouth and denying him that relief. She did it again and again until he was actually howling from the frustration and the pleasure she was causing him. He just wanted to come, release his salty seed into her mouth but she continued to deny him, ever teasing but not quite letting him fall over the edge despite his desperate pleas. EJ began to throw his head from side to side, certain that at any moment he would snap the wooden seat that he still had a death grip on, so tight was his hold on it.

The sound of crying filtered into his subconsciousness and he wondered if it was him, trying to focus his thoughts beyond Sami having his engorged manhood in her mouth but it was a struggle. The way she was working on him was like it was her life's mission to pleasure him until he could take no more and EJ was dangerously close to that point if he didn't come very, very soon. The crying got louder and some vaguely functioning brain recognised the sound of his daughter's cry. Sami must have noticed it to because she released him abruptly then, lifting her head.

"Ali," she said and EJ's eyes widened.

"No!" he rasped, desperate for her not to stop, "Samantha please, NO!"

"_Ali it's alright, Mommy's here."_

Sami dissolved in front of EJ's eyes then and the whole room changed and his befuddled brain tried to work out what was happening to him.

"_It's alright honey bunny… what's all that crying for?"_

EJ came to his senses sitting up suddenly, realising that he was in his bed and not in the kitchen at all. The voice he could hear was indeed Sami's but it was over the other baby monitor that he'd taken into his room so he could listen out for the children at night as well even though he and Sami weren't sharing a room at the moment. It had been a dream… an amazingly vivid, intensely real dream. EJ leant back against the back board of the bed and put his shaking hands to his face and rubbed, noticing how sweaty his face was – along with the rest of his body. It was like he'd just fallen in a swimming pool actually.

_Oh god these dreams were getting so damn real!_

His body definitely agreed with him on that and he looked down at the gigantic erection that the sheets he was under were in no way hiding.

"Don't look at me like that," he groaned to his groin, "I thought we could do this!"

His crotch didn't dignify that statement with an answer, letting the throbbing discomfort EJ was currently experiencing speak for itself. EJ looked over at the digital display of the clock that he'd set up to do the countdown until their wedding night… one hundred and seventy two hours thirty eight minutes the display informed him, mocking him with it's red flashing display. That was still seven days and a few hours to go.

"I hate you," he informed the clock bitterly, meaning that more than he'd meant anything before in his life.

EJ frowned then and realised what he was doing.

"Well looks like I've just hit a new low," mused EJ out loud, "I'm having conversations with inanimate objects and my own genitals… and I thought sleeping with my uncle was as bad as it was ever going to get."

EJ leant his head despondently against the bed head, hearing that Sami had settled the twin and didn't need him just yet which was just as well. He was in no fit state to go anywhere at the moment and besides; walking was most likely beyond him at this point anyway.

"Okay," he sighed heavily, "Let's do this then… income tax… Dan Quayle… dental cavities… Richard Simmons…"

EJ went through the list of the least sexy and demoralising things he could think of in an attempt to get himself calm enough that he could at least remember how to walk again.

"… Walt Disney… Menthos advertisements… Roman Brady in an evening dress… a backless evening dress with a big split up the side…"

**oooOOOOooo**

Eric walked from the kitchen into the living with Johnny on his hip, he and EJ having just finished giving the twins some breakfast. Sami had left already for the day having a lot of last minute wedding things to take care of. Eric grinned down at his nephew but out of the corner of his eye he caught a flash of something and stopped, backing up. He looked out the window, then down at Johnny and then back out the window.

"Ah EJ?" he called out to the other man who was just finishing off cleaning down Johnny.

"Yes?" EJ called back.

"Um," hesitated Eric, "You might want to come and take a look outside at this man."

"Oh no," and Eric could hear EJ sigh even from the other side of the door, "Is Smokey doing something he shouldn't?"

"Dude," said Eric shaking his head even though EJ was still in the other room and couldn't see him, "You've got bigger problems right now then Satan's concubine."

EJ grimaced at his daughter in the kitchen as her picked up and put her on his hip, walking out into the living room to join Eric and Johnny. It was too early in the morning for dramas EJ decided hopelessly but he was living in the wrong house for that! EJ joined Eric at the window and looked out and blew out a despondent breath.

"Bloody hell," muttered EJ under his breath - would the crazy never end!

"At least it isn't another animal," said Eric, trying to be helpful.

"Why does he insist on doing these things?" asked EJ with a resigned shake of his head, knowing exactly who was responsible for this.

"Maybe it's not what it looks like," said Eric, trying to keep a straight face, "Maybe it's an avant-garde water feature or something."

"No," said a voice behind them, "It's a tank."

Both men turned around to see a pleased looking John standing there.

"Grrreaat!" said Johnny happily at seeing John, really emphasising the name.

"Boy Baby," nodded John at the greeting and nodded at Ali when she waved merrily at him, "Girl Baby."

"When did this arrive exactly?" asked EJ, finding it pretty hard to imagine that he hadn't noticed a tank rolling up the drive way at some point.

"Really early this morning," said John happily, coming over and looking out the window at his latest acquisition, "It came on the back of a big truck."

The brother in laws exchanged glances then as they silently decided between the two of them who would be tackling this one.

"I've got your back man," said Eric with an encouraging smile, slapping him on the back, "Good luck."

"Uncle John," said EJ, taking a deep, calming breath and conscious of the fact that he couldn't swear because his children were in the room with him, "We talked about you getting an army tank remember? We decided it would not be a good idea."

"This is a different tank," said John dismissively as though that explained everything, "The other one was sold already."

"But the concept of not having heavy duty pieces of military equipment in one's backyard still remains," said EJ through gritted teeth.

"Oh," said John in surprise, "I just thought it was because you didn't like that particular tank."

Eric snickered a little then and EJ gave him an unimpressed look.

"Sorry," he apologised with a grin, "You're doing great EJ - still got your back!"

"But what I don't understand it why?" said EJ hopelessly, "Why a tank Uncle, why - what could possess you to want such a thing?"

"Do you want the long answer or the short to that question?" asked John straight faced.

"The short," said EJ tersely, "Please god the short answer."

"Hankering," said John simply, sticking his hands in his pockets.

EJ and Eric exchanged looks then and Eric took pity on EJ.

"Allow me," he told his brother in law and then looked back at John, "Okay then John, what's the long answer then?"

"It… was… a… hankering," said John expressionlessly.

There was a moments silence as John's words hung in the air.

"Right," said EJ finally speaking, "Well that wasn't as edifying as I'd have liked but to be perfectly honest my expectations weren't too high to begin with."

"There's only one thing wrong with it," sighed John, looking a little troubled now.

"Only one thing?!" muttered EJ shaking his head.

"… it didn't come with any shells," finished John, sounding very sad about that fact.

"I should bloody well hope not!" exclaimed EJ, forgetting himself and using bad language in front of the twins again.

But the thought of his uncle riding around Salem in a tank with live ammunition was a pretty terrifying one and warranted at least some profanities.

"So does it go?" asked Eric, tilting his head and looking quizzically at the huge piece of machinery, obviously having the same mental image as EJ was.

"Aha," nodded John proudly, "I'm thinking of taking it for a spin later - want to come?"

"You don't have a licence to drive a tank Uncle John," said EJ flatly.

"I'm in a tank," shrugged John, ever practical, "What are they going to do about it?"

"He might have a point there EJ," said Eric ruefully.

"Samantha is _not_ going to be happy about this," sighed EJ just imagining his wife's reaction to this latest development.

"Yeah," laughed Eric, picturing it, "Talk about having live ammunition - my sister is going to go off!"

"Rolf!" yelled out John and Rolf as usual materialised from out of the blue.

"Ya John?" he asked.

"Rolf," said EJ with a frown before John could speak again, "Did you know anything about this?"

"Oh ya," nodded Rolf casually, "John told me about it a couple of dayz ago."

"Then would it kill you to give me a heads up on these kinds of things?" asked EJ in vexation and then gave Rolf a sweet smile, "Oh sorry, I worded that wrongly Rolf. What I meant to say was I'm going to _kill you _if you don't start giving me a heads up on these kinds of things!"

"Has anyone told you that you catch more flies with bunnies than vinegar Nephew?" asked John sagely.

"Number one I find that hysterical that you of all people should be giving me advice on that kind of things Uncle John!" snapped EJ, "You're about as subtle as a sledgehammer and two, it's _honey_, you catch more flies with _honey_ than vinegar. Bunnies makes absolutely no sense!"

"It would if the bunnies were dead and rotting a bit," protested John, "That would draw way more flies than your wimpy honey."

"So how much do you think the twins understand of the conversations that going on around them?" asked Eric straight faced.

"I pray every night that it's zero," said EJ despairingly, having no answer for rotting bunny carcasses.

Confident that he'd made his point John turned back to Rolf.

"So Rolf," he said, "Do we have any live tank shells in the house anywhere?"

Rolf raised his eyebrows and pursed his lips.

"Ah no John," he said, shaking his head.

"But you haven't even looked," frowned John, "How do you know?"

"I zink I vould know if we had za tank shellz in za houze John," said Rolf fairly reasonably.

"Have you checked in the linen closet recently?" asked John helpfully.

"I don't need to John," said Rolf patiently, "I'm sure I vould ave noticed tank shellz lying around, zey are very big after all."

"You know what I miss?" asked EJ with a little reminiscent smile on his face.

"What?" asked Eric in amusement.

"I miss when my uncle would just bring home wild life," he sighed with a faraway look, "And not something that could actually kill you."

"I don't know EJ," said Eric with a shrug, "Jury is still out on Smokey if you ask me, I wouldn't be turning my back on him."

"And you would be wise not to do so," agreed EJ ruefully, remembering his own run in with Smokey resulting in that unfortunate outcome for his butt.

**oooOOOOooo**

Later that day Sami and EJ were out on the patio hand feeding the flamingos. Even though they normally ate from the pond John had specially installed for them with little briny shrimp they had also developed a taste for the peacock food. They had a rather gentle nature and despite her initial reservations Sami had grown rather fond of her birthday flamboyance of flamingos.

"Barbara wants some more," EJ informed her, pointing at the flamingo to Sami's right, looking at her expectantly.

"Barbara?" queried Sami with an amused arch of an eyebrow as she dutifully gave some grain to the large bird.

She'd calmed down markedly since finding out about the tank earlier that day. It had been touch and go there for a moment but EJ had assured her that he would never let John drive it and that it didn't have nor ever would have any kind of ammunition. He also promised her that he'd work on getting rid of it - certainly before the wedding. So Sami had calmed down again after venting a bit about the general crazy that was John and all was well again.

"So I named a flamingo," shrugged EJ with a rueful smile.

"Barbara?" repeated Sami with amusement.

"After Barbara Cartland," admitted EJ with a grin, "I thought it fitting seeing as she's known as the Pink Lady and of course Uncle John's vaguely concerning obsession with romantic novels."

"I suppose," nodded Sami, still obviously finding this new piece of information amusing, "But how do you know that's a girl flamingo."

"Well Barbara's smaller than the other flamingos," reasoned EJ and then gave Sami an impish grin, "Plus she's got nicer legs."

Sami just shook her head at him and rolled her eyes at his silliness.

"Well excuse me Mrs DiMera if I don't know how to sex a flamingo," he grinned at her.

"The question probably shouldn't be _how_ but _if_ you should sex a flamingo," noted Eric wisely wandering out onto the patio from inside the house.

"Elvis hasn't been getting any for a while," noted John stoically, "You can only run for so long, at some point you've got to stop running and then it's surprising what looks good to you."

"John!" exclaimed Sami in horror, at both the sex with flamingo comment and advertising her and EJ's little arrangement.

She also managed a scowl for her brother seeing as he started this particular subject.

"I know," sighed John, "Another thing for The List."

"John," grinned Eric, completely unfazed by the death looks his sister was shooting him, "You are so going to have to show me this legendary list of yours."

"Well I used to carry it around on me," said John straight faced, "But it's so big now it makes my pants fall down."

Despite himself and risking the ire of his wife EJ had to laugh at that.

"Don't encourage them EJ," said Sami, giving him a whack to reinforce her point, "And you two - there is going to be no sex or talking about sex at my wedding so just control yourselves okay!"

"But there's going to be sex after the wedding right?" asked EJ, suddenly sounding very anxious and needing to clarify that particular point rather badly.

"That depends on if you behave yourself or not," sniffed Sami with a warning look at him, "This wedding is going to be perfect and I will kill anyone with my bare hands who messes it up for me… got that?! Have _all_ of you got that?!"

The three men nodded and made suitably deferential noises and Sami gave them a satisfied look at that and headed back into the house.

"Man," said Eric with a sympathetic shake of his head to EJ, "There is no way that something isn't going to happen at this wedding. You are _so_ screwed!"

"Or not screwed," nodded John sagely, "As the case may be."

EJ sighted heavily and had to admit they had a point.

"Oh well," said John, trying to be comforting in his own unique way, "At least you've still got Barbara if worse comes to the worst."

"Do you know what the truly horrible part of that statement is Eric?" asked EJ casually to his brother in law.

"That John's suggesting you have sex with a flamingo?" said Eric brightly, the corners of his mouth turning up.

"No," said EJ calmly, "This is my uncle actually trying to be helpful."

"For you maybe," shrugged Eric, managing to keep a straight face somehow, "But I seriously don't think Barbara gets a good deal out of all this."

The two men looked at each other for a moment and then burst out laughing - it was that or cry really from EJ's point of view. John just looked at the two younger men and shook his head, not understanding what was so funny.

_Kids. _


	63. Chapter 63

**Chapter SIXTY THREE**

Emily and Eric were walking along the corridors of the DiMera basement on the way to the gym. They had met at the front door, Eric just back from visiting his grandmother and Emily to see EJ about some papers to sign. Rolf had told them that everyone was in the gym downstairs so that was where they'd gone. When they turned the final corner they saw Joseph and Tracy standing outside the door but no sign of EJ and Sami although it wasn't hard to guess where they probably were because Joseph was bent over with his ear pressed to the door.

"I don't know if you should be doing that," they heard Tracy comment a little nervously.

"Oh please," returned Joseph with a wave of his hand, "How am I going to hear what's going on if I don't - _you_ made us leave!"

"So what new game is this?" asked Eric curiously, nodding a greeting at Tracy whom he'd met a couple of times now.

Joseph straightened up then and flapped his arms around wildly, obviously terribly excited and trying to organise his thoughts into some kind of coherent order.

"The kitten and the McDrool Worthy are fighting!" he announced in a dramatic whisper, his eyes wide with excitement, "Apparently EJ lost a bet with John and now there is going to be a bachelor party organised by Black Bear!"

"Oohh," winced Eric, "My sister is _not_ going to be happy about that."

"… _idiotic, stupid, brainless…"_

"Boy howdy!" nodded Joseph excitedly as Sami's strident voice wafted over from the other side of the door, "Now everyone stop talking… you're making me miss it!"

With that Joseph promptly resumed his position at the door, ear pressed up firmly to it.

"I'm in!" announced Eric happily, joining Joseph in his eavesdropping - it was always funny when Sami was yelling at someone else - not so much fun when it was you though.

Tracy looked at the two men with their ears against the door and shrugged.

"When in Rome," he said, curious despite himself and found his own patch on the door to listen in on.

Emily watched them, a little smile of amusement on her face.

"I cannot believe you three," she chided them with a shake of her head.

"But Emmy…" protested Joseph with a pout, not wanting to miss out.

"It's no good putting your ear to reinforced doors like that," she continued on straight faced, "You have to listen at where there is a gap, where the door sits on its hinge otherwise you're only going to hear every third word at best."

The three men looked at each other and promptly moved to the different areas on the doors that Emily had suggested. They were rewarded instantly by much better sound, hearing every word now, not just the shouted ones by Sami.

"Oh good one Em!" said Eric, giving her a thumbs up and a grin.

"Babes in arms," sighed Emily with a roll of her eyes, "You'd think none of you had ever listened in on a private conversation before!"

"Ah I never have," volunteered Tracy, raising his hand even as he pressed an ear to the door hinge.

"Oh little one," said Joseph, reaching out a hand and putting it on Tracy's arm, "We have so very much to teach you."

Now all three of them had the benefit of being able to hear EJ and Sami's fight without any more distortion.

"…_I just can't believe that you would be that stupid EJ!" exclaimed Sami angrily, "What were you thinking? Why would you do such a thing?!"_

"_My uncle his been hounding me day and night about this bachelor party thing," said EJ defensively, "It was driving me crazy…"_

"_Clearly!" snapped Sami, folding her arms in front of her chest and looking up at her husband with great displeasure._

"_I got fed up with it seeing as I'm frustrated enough and we have still have seven days until our wedding," continued on EJ determinedly as though she hadn't spoken._

"_And I suppose that is my fault that you're frustrated?!" Sami bit out._

_EJ didn't answer, just raised a knowing eyebrow at her._

"_Don't change the subject!" growled Sami in vexation, realising that his frustration was actually her fault but she wasn't prepared to give him any ground._

"_So Uncle John offered me a wager," EJ returned to his story, "It was simple - if I won he would never speak of the bachelor party again and if he won he could organise the stupid thing."_

"_And you agreed to this?" asked Sami in disbelief._

"_Sweetheart," said EJ earnestly, "It was a sure thing - I couldn't lose!"_

"_All evidence to the contrary," raged Sami, "What the hell was this bet anyway?"_

"_Ah," EJ hesitated, doubting that this was going to do him any favours but they were kind of at the point of it not mattering now, "Well you know the two slippery dips, the slides we've got set up for the twins out the back?"_

"_Yes," nodded Sami, her face looking decidedly ominous now, "What about them?"_

"_Well," he cleared his throat a little nervously, "Uncle John bet me that Ali would be faster than Johnny going down the slide. The wager was the bachelor party - if I won we'd never speak of it again and if he won then he got to organise one for me."_

"_And you agreed to this?" asked Sami, her face clouding over ominously._

"_I couldn't lose Samantha!" exclaimed EJ, "It's basic physics - Newton's second law states that the net force on an object is equal to the mass of the object multiplied by its acceleration. Johnny has far greater mass than his sister so he was going to have greater momentum down the slippery dip!"_

"_Really?" asked Sami sarcastically, "Well in that case Mr Sure Thing - why is it that John - the guy who just bought a tank and has it parked in the back yard mind you - throwing you a bachelor party if you couldn't lose then? Huh - answer me that maths boy?!"_

"_Well," grimaced EJ sheepishly, "It turns out Newton didn't factor everything into his f=ma equation. Johnny was wearing pants that were particularly bulky and as it turns out, had quite a lot of resistance on the slide. Ali on the other hand was wearing something that just made her slip right down the thing like a rocket."_

_EJ pursed his lips and gave Sami a hopeful smile._

"_Whoops," he told her trying to look as cute as he possibly could, trying to charm his way out of the situation he'd created. _

"_Whoops?" repeated Sami, not to be cajoled out of her bad humour, "We have your certifiably insane uncle organising your bachelor party all because some dead physicist told you that you could win a slide race with our babies?! Which by the way - you're so not off the hook about gambling with our children either! All this time I've been worrying about the wedding and it turns out you're not even going to make it to the wedding! At least you were there at the last one but now I'm going to be extraditing your ass from some foreign country where you've ended up being sent because of something John has done or in hospital or…"_

"_Samantha calm down," said EJ, going to put his hands on the tops of her arms to sooth her._

"_Don't tell me to calm down EJ!" she snapped at him, swatting away his hands, "If you didn't want to marry me you should have just told me! Not gone to all this trouble and have John's crazy do it for you!"_

"_Samantha of course I want to marry you!" he said in horror and then shook his head, "What am I saying - I am married to you. This bachelor party won't change that."_

"_Want to make a bet?" she threatened him._

"_Now let's not say anything that can't be taken back later eh sweetheart?" EJ said, still trying to calm her down._

"_Is this because of the no sex thing?" asked Sami, not wanting to calm down at all, "Is this some kind of twisted pay back? Well if that's the case then take me now big boy, right here, right now on the floor and then when we're done you can go and tell John that the deal is off! Would that make you happy then?!"_

"Ohh," winced Eric making a little pained expression, "I did _not_ need to hear my sister say that but twenty buck she hits him with a dumb bell before the fight is over."

"_I just think that maybe you're making a bigger deal than is strictly necessary sweetheart," said EJ, "Why don't we talk about this when you've calmed down and are thinking a little clearer eh?"_

"Ooh," Eric shook his head and grimaced, knowing his sister, "Bad move EJ – don't poke the bear."

There was a sudden resounding thump noise followed by a loud clattering sound.

"Oh my god she's killed him!" exclaimed Joseph in horror.

"EJ strikes me as a man with quick reflexes," said Tracy reasonably, ear still pressed to the door, "She's probably only maimed him at worst."

"Man I wish someone had taken that bet," said Eric in frustration as his prediction seemed to have come true.

"_You know sweetheart that could have done some serious damage if that had hit its mark," said EJ in mild annoyance looking down at the dumb bell at his feet that had bounced off a sit up bench and then cannoned into a pile of hand weights._

"_It still can!" said Sami determinedly, glaring at him and going to pick it up again and have another go at throwing it at him._

"_I don't see how hurting me is going to fix this current situation Samantha," said EJ, making a quick grab for the dumb bell before she got to it just in case he couldn't talk her out of her making it a permanent part of his anatomy._

"_It will make me feel better," she informed him sweetly, looking around for something else to hurl at him._

"_Clearly you need some time alone," said EJ, edging towards the door before she could find another missile to aim at his head, "I'll let you finish your work out in peace."_

With that EJ darted from the room just as a drink bottle bounced off the door he was just closing behind him. He'd caught the eavesdroppers off guard though with his quick exit and they all had to step back and try to look like they hadn't been listening in. EJ's lips thinned in exasperation as he watched the three men try and act casual with Emily over to one side watching on at the pitiful display with amusement.

"Can I help anyone?" he asked wryly, "Was there some part of the conversation you missed and would like me to fill in for you gentleman?"

"Actually there is," Eric dead panned, "What was that thing Sami called you after imbecile but before brain dead?"

"Cute," said EJ with a roll of his eyes at his brother in laws teasing and then started, suddenly remembering, "Emily – we had a meeting. I'm so sorry but I lost track of time."

"That's alright my dear," she smiled at him calmly, "You clearly had your hands full."

"And then some," sighed EJ ruefully looking back over his shoulder at the closed door with his angry wife on the other side of it.

"Don't worry EJ," said Tracy helpfully, "I'll burn some of that angry energy off for you with the rest of her physio session."

"That would be much appreciated Tracy," said EJ with a half smile.

"Appreciated enough to get an invite to this bachelor party?" asked Tracy hopefully.

He'd known the DiMera's and especially John Black long enough to know that whatever they did it paid to be in on the ground floor at… rather than just reading about it the next day in the newspaper!

"Sure, why not," said EJ in resignation, "Public executions tend to draw a crowd anyway."

"Maybe it won't be that bad?" suggested Eric, trying to be optimistic.

"You remember that we have an actual tank in the back garden don't you Eric?" asked EJ flatly, "And that I've just finished getting my uncle off on an assault charge of visiting royalty at the ballet no less?! That kind of thing doesn't exactly bode well for an uneventful evening now does it?!"

"I know," grinned Eric and then quickly dropped the smile and tried to look suitably worried for EJ's benefit, "I know."

"Oh honey," said Joseph with a wave of his hand and patting EJ's back compassionately, "We'll all be there for you, don't worry – I'm sure all of us will be able to handle Black Bear together."

"Well that sounds like a party in of its self," commented Emily with a little quirk of her lips.

"Yes it does, doesn't it?" sighed Joseph dreamily obviously picturing doing just that.

"Wow," said Tracy with a shake of his head, looking at Joseph's faraway expression, "This bachelor party just took a disconcerting turn!"

"It will be the first of many I fear," said EJ with uncharacteristic pessimism.


	64. Chapter 64

**Chapter SIXTY FOUR**

Sami climbed off the tread mill that Tracy had just gotten her to run three miles on still fuming. Tracy and Joseph had returned to the gym after EJ had made his dash for freedom and she was just finishing off her physio session with Tracy. Tracy was over in one corner completing his work out. Because the gym was so well equipped Sami had offered for him to do his usual gym work outs here as well seeing as she didn't need for him to be so hands on nowadays. Joseph, who rather amazingly always seemed to be 'in the neighbourhood' during these sessions, had been giddy with delight at having the blonde streak of gorgeousness as he referred to him nowadays as a gym buddy.

"I can't believe EJ was stupid enough to be sucked into John's crazy!" she said for probably the one hundredth time as Joseph nodded sympathetically, letting her rant.

"Oh I know honey," said Joseph, making a compassionate face, "But Black Bear only ever means well you know?"

"He might mean well but he still does some pretty scary stuff Joe!" said Sami in annoyance, "Can you imagine what John's interpretation of a bachelor party is going to look like?! What if EJ get's hurt?!"

"Sweetie we wouldn't let that happen!" insisted Joseph, placing a solicitous hand on her arm, "I promise you, I'll protect that man of yours with my life if it comes down to it!"

Sami had to smile then at the thought of Joseph protecting someone like EJ.

"Well you did do a good job of looking after me when I was in the hospital," conceded Sami, allowing herself to be slightly mollified.

"Yes I did kitten," nodded Joseph emphatically, still quite proud of himself over that, "But I might have to find something other than a bed pan to do it with this time because that might be seen as a bit odd taking one of them to a bachelor party."

"Not if John is running the show," said Sami morosely.

"Trust me honey," said Joseph confidently as he got on the treadmill she'd just vacated, "I'll handcuff myself to the pair of them if that is what it takes to have a mishap free bachelor party and for you not to worry."

Joseph pushed some buttons on the machine and started to run.

"Gee," said Sami, folding her arms in front of her chest, seeing the naughty little smile on Joseph's face at being in a John/EJ sandwich all night, "I couldn't ask you to make such a sacrifice on my behalf Joe."

"It would be my please kitten," said Joseph and gave her a cheeky wink, making Sami laugh.

"Did I just hear the word 'handcuffs' in regards to this bachelor party?" asked Tracy with a grin as he walked over to where they were, "Why do I get the feeling that this party is going to redefine my understanding of the word?"

"That's what I'm afraid of," groaned Sami as Tracy took a swig from his water bottle as he came to stand in front of Sami and Joseph who was still running on the treadmill.

"I really don't see it being that bad Sami," said Tracy with a shake of his head, "I've been to some pretty wild bachelor parties but apart from getting really drunk and having a few body parts shaved it's no big thing. The groom has always turned up for the wedding no problem."

"That's a bachelor party organised by a normal person," said Sami in frustration, "The last party involving John had us chasing flamingos around the mansion, EJ having to fish me out of the pond and a fire… and that was just a birthday party!"

"That party was the greatest night of my life!" announced Joseph in ecstasy.

"Oh yeah," said Tracy, looking decidedly curious now as he bent down and grabbed a fresh shirt out of his gym bag, "EJ never did finish telling me about the flamingo thing. He mentioned something about a flamingo hanging off the chandelier but I think he was only teasing me."

Tracy looked at Joseph's and Sami's expression and his eye brows shot up.

"Not joking huh?" he mused with a bit of a laugh, "Interesting."

Tracy pulled his sweaty gym shirt off then and quickly towelled himself down with it before turning round to go to his gym bag, bending over and pulling out a fresh black tank top from the bag. Joseph's eyes bulged out of his head at all the gorgeous man flesh on display, his jaw practically dropping open and his tongue hanging out. Sami for her part didn't take too much notice other than the fact that his body reminded her of EJ's a little.

"So is someone going to fill in the blanks for me?" asked Tracy as he stuck his head through his tank top, turning around and looking over at them.

Joseph squeaked even as he kept running but he suddenly seemed to lose motor control when Tracy turned around, quite oblivious to the effect he was having on Joseph with the sight of his muscled chest and stomach on display. He bent down again and went to throw his sweaty towel back into his gym bag and Joseph got another perfect ass shot.

"I mean it can't be…"

Tracy didn't get to finish his sentence as there was the sound of a loud crash from behind him and he straightened up quickly and turned around to see Joseph on the ground looking decidedly dazed, the treadmill still going – just without Joseph on it anymore.

"Joe!" exclaimed Sami in shock, rushing to his side, "Are you alright?"

"Whoa man," said Tracy, hurrying over to him as well, "What happened, did you trip?"

"I… I guess so," said Joseph faintly.

"Are you hurt?" asked Sami worriedly.

"I don't know kitten," said Joseph, still looking a little stunned.

"Here," said Tracy putting his hand on Joseph's ankle, "Does that hurt?"

"Ah no," said Joseph with a shake of his head, coming to his senses enough to know that this little episode might work out in his favour if he played his cards right.

"How about that?" asked Tracy, moving his hand higher.

Sami was looking on worriedly, bent over, her hands on her knees as Tracy moved his hands over Joseph's body checking for any sign of injury. At least she was worried until she saw the way Joseph was looking at Tracy when Tracy wasn't looking, obviously enjoying himself and relaxed. Clearly Joseph was milking the injured routine for all it was worth with Tracy completely oblivious. Joseph kept saying he was fine until Tracy made his way down to his other ankle and then gave a dramatic hiss of pain.

"You might have sprained it," said Tracy with a bit of frown, feeling around the area, "It doesn't feel swollen though – it might just be a strain. Can you put weight on it do you think Joe?"

"I don't know," said Joseph with a helpless flutter of his eyes, "Maybe if you helped me?"

Sami rolled her eyes at his shameless display and watched as Tracy went to help Joseph up but Joseph flapped his arms before he'd gotten very far and shook his head.

"It hurts too much!" he declared and then looked up at Tracy with big brown eyes open wide, "Do.. do you think you can carry me over to that bench at all Tracy?"

Sami had to bite on her tongue to stop from laughing at the display, folding her arms in front of her chest and shaking her head at Joseph behind Tracy's back as he was still crouched over the other man.

"Sure Joe," said Tracy easily, moving so he could pick up Joseph which he did easily, straightening with Joseph in his arms.

"Oh my," said Joseph, fluttering his eye lashes up at Tracy again, "So strong!"

Tracy just laughed at that and walked with Joseph in his arms over to the bench and put him carefully down on it.

"Occupational hazard," he said with a grin and then looked over at Sami, "I'll go and fetch a cold compress for Joe's ankle – you okay to stay with him?"

"Of course," said Sami with an answering smile.

"Thank you honey!" Joseph called out after Tracy as he headed off to find the compress for him to which Tracy smiled and nodded before disappearing out the door.

Sami looked down at Joseph, taking his cat that ate the canary look and shook her head at him again.

"You, Joseph Miller, are a shameless hussy," she said, pretending to sound disgusted in him.

"You already have your Greek God all tucked up in your bed waiting for you," sniffed Joseph unrepentantly, "We less fortunate have to get it were we can."

"Tracy is straight Joe," Sami pointed out to him, "You do remember that don't you?"

"Oh honey," said Joseph blithely with an unconcerned wave of his hand, "If I had a dime for every man I slept with that was straight I'd be a rich man!"

Sami just laughed and shook her head at him.

**oooOOOOooo**

An hour later Sami wasn't any happier and was leaving EJ in no doubt to that little fact as they were in the sitting room together after everyone had left. EJ looked over at Sami and sighed.

"You're can't keep giving me the silent treatment sweetheart," he informed her, not finding the stony silence she'd been treating him to for the last two hours particularly enjoyable and particularly un-Samantha like.

Sami didn't answer that, just looked steadily back at him, arms folded in front of her chest.

"Sweetheart, we're married," he told her with a lop sided smile, "We have to communicate at some point."

Sami held his gaze and then silently raised one hand and a certain finger at him before arching a challenging eyebrow at him.

"Well yes," replied EJ straight faced as his wife flipped him the bird, "I suppose there is always that."

The reason for their contention walked into the room then, unaware of the drama he had caused. He walked over to the scotch decanter, poured himself a glass and then turned around to see both EJ and Sami staring at him.

"What?" he asked flatly, looking between the two of them.

"I don't believe you sometimes John!" exclaimed Sami, unable to hold her tongue any longer.

"I haven't said anything yet for you to not believe," said John with an arch of an eyebrow.

"The bachelor party!" snapped Sami.

"Oh yeah," nodded John smugly, "Elvis and I reached an understanding on that."

"Well understand this John," growled Sami, "If you do anything to mess up this wedding for me I will use that tank currently parked out in the garden to hunt you down and kill you… a lot!"

John pursed his lips and looked unimpressed by her threats.

"I so much preferred it when you were riding each other rather than me," noted John expressionlessly.

"Uncle John!" scowled EJ, "Do you mind?!"

"I mind a great deal actually Nephew," said John with a pout, "But no one ever seems to feel the need to ask my opinion on these things nowadays."

"Any decisions Samantha and I make about our marriage are just that Uncle John," said EJ firmly, "Our decision. We don't need to ask permission from you or anyone else."

"Yeah well maybe if you'd thought things through a bit more then wifey here wouldn't be so tense about everything," suggested John coolly.

"Samantha is fine," said EJ shortly, "Once she calms down she'll realise that this is all just a case of making mountain out of a mole hill.

Sami sucked in an incredulous breath at how the two men were talking as though she wasn't in the room and how cavalier EJ was being about her concerns.

She opened her mouth to give them both a serve but was interrupted by Rolf. During their heated discussion no one had noticed the doorbell until Rolf suddenly appeared looking less than thrilled.

"Nicole Valker iz here," he announced to them but as Nicole was hot on his heels it was a bit redundant.

"Well this day just keeps getting better and better," noted EJ sarcastically, taking in Nicole's stormy features.

Just what he needed - another angry blonde to placate!

"Nicole," said EJ smoothly, "How wonderful to see you."

"Can it stretch!" she snapped at him, throwing him a brief look before going back to glaring at Sami, "I'm not here to play nice! I'm here for your shrew of a wife!"

Sami blinked at her, still distracted by EJ's earlier comments and fuming over them and not really listening to yet another rant from Nicole.

"So I've talked to Ben again and guess what?!" said Nicole bitingly and then didn't give Sami a chance to answer, "He won't believe me that you made it up! Can you believe that?!"

"Who's Ben and made up what?" asked EJ, his interest instantly piqued at the sound of the other man's name, not recognising it as anyone he knew.

"I just can't believe what a vile, lying, bitter and twisted piece of…" Nicole began her long list of all the things that were wrong with Sami but she interrupted her.

"I'm going to have a bachelorette party Nicole," said Sami, holding her gaze steadily, "Do you want to organise it for me Nicole?"

EJ's eyes widened and he actually went pale at that request, staring at Sami as though she'd lost her mind.

"Samantha!" he exclaimed in a strangled voice, "What are you doing?!"

"Well you're insisting on going through with this bachelor party thing so I don't see why I can't have my own party," said Sami, folding her arms in front of her chest and giving EJ a defiant look.

That certainly wiped the smug look off his face once and for all Sami noted triumphantly. He looked as though he'd just thrown up a little in his mouth actually.

"But Nicole?" pointed out EJ weakly, his heart starting to beat erratically in his chest at the thought of what might result from a party organised by Nicole Walker, "Sweetheart are you forgetting what happened last time you and Nicole decided to… step out?"

Technically Sami had forgotten quite a lot of what she and Nicole had done. She was particularly sad she couldn't remember telling Ben that Nicole used to be a man but what could you do right?

"It will be fine EJ," said Sami sweetly, "You're just making a mountain out a mole hill… _sweetheart_."

EJ ground his teeth as she threw his earlier words back in his face. This day was just on a downward spiral that EJ couldn't seem to control!

"So will you do it Nicole?" asked Sami, smiling at the other woman, internally gloating at the look of distress on EJ's face right then.

"Are you serious?" asked Nicole sceptically, eyeing Sami suspiciously.

"Absolutely," nodded Sami determinedly.

"And I can make all the plans?" continued on Nicole, "You'll go along with whatever I decide to do?"

"Well all plans will have to run by us of course," said EJ hastily.

"John?" said Sami calmly, looking over at John who was watching the going ons with interest, "Are you going to be telling anyone what your plans are for the bachelor party you're throwing for EJ?"

"Hell no," said John emphatically which earned him an unhappy glare from EJ for being so unhelpful.

"Then you have free reign as well Nicole," Sami informed her evenly, "Whatever you come up with I'll happily go along with."

Out of the corner of her eye Sami saw EJ go from a pale to a now slightly greenish tinge and couldn't help the smirk on her face.

"Alright!" said Nicole excitedly, all of her annoyance with Sami completely forgotten now at the prospect of organising a bachelorette party for Sami.

She clapped her hands together and EJ did not like the sudden gleam in the other woman's eye.

"I really think we should discuss this Samantha," said EJ urgently, giving Sami an urgent look.

"Oh you mean like how you discussed with me John throwing you a bachelor party?" asked Sami innocently, "Let's do that then shall we EJ?"

"This is going to be great!" announced Nicole with a wide grin, her thoughts already racing, "I've got so many ideas Sami - you are not going to regret this!"

"I'm going to be needing that in writing please Nicole," said EJ, only half joking.

This was a disaster EJ decided in horror. Samantha and Nicole involved in anything together could only ever hope to end in a complete and utter calamity! Nicole for her part just couldn't contain her excitement, throwing her arms around his shoulders and giving him a hug, grinning up at him while EJ just stared at Sami desperate for her to come to her senses and change her mind.

"Relax big boy!" said Nicole happily, feeling how stiffly he was holding himself, "I'm going to give Sami the time of her life!"

Sami gloated, EJ groaned, Nicole grinned and John wondered if the Pope always had to be a catholic.

_Same planet… different worlds. _


	65. Chapter 65

**Chapter SIXTY FIVE**

EJ walked into the living room the next day to find Sami sitting on the floor playing with the twins, Ali on her lap. She didn't look up when he walked in, simply kept playing blocks with Johnny. EJ had definitely been in the dog house since yesterdays little mishap and he'd been trying his hardest to get out of it ever since. He'd bought her breakfast in bed, taken care of the children and let her sleep in for a bit and just generally been on his best behaviour since yesterday. He crouched down and took a seat beside Sami, pulling a funny face at Ali and making her giggle up at him.

Sami still hadn't acknowledged his presence yet and EJ reached into his back pocket and pulled out a rose he'd just picked from the garden and presented it to her. Sami eyed the flower and tried to maintain her tough exterior but was finding it increasingly hard. He'd been so sweet to her since yesterday that she felt like a total cow now carrying on with this even though he totally deserved it she argued with herself. It was just that he was so very difficult to stay mad at when he was being this charming and trying so hard. She took the offered rose and tried to give him a haughty look but the ends of her mouth curved up ever so slightly and the way EJ's eyes lit up he knew he'd melted her icy façade at last.

"So am I forgiven?" he asked her huskily, kissing her bare shoulder briefly before straightening up and looking at her.

Sami sent him a sideways look, still not totally ready to let him off the hook yet.

"Perhaps after you've bought me breakfast in bed a couple more days I might consider the concept," she said, still trying to look cross and not really pulling it off.

"Done," he said happily and then leant over, stealing a kiss from her before grinning at her adoringly, "I love you."

Sami felt her insides melt as they always did when he said those words to him but still tried to play it cool.

"And I no longer wish you dead," she informed him straight faced.

"Well that _is_ encouraging," he said with a laugh and Sami couldn't stop herself from joining in.

"You're an idiot," she sighed at him, giving up at being mad at him and shaking her head.

"Correction my darling," he grinned at her, "I'm _your_ idiot."

"Yes you are," she nodded smugly and this time she kissed him, "And don't you forget it."

"Never," he vowed and then gave her a sly look, leaning in and keeping his voice low, "You know normally we'd go and have some extremely energetic make up sex right about now."

"Yes well that's not going to happen now is it?" said Sami with an arched eyebrow and then waved back at Johnny who was waving his blocks around at her.

"So how about you and I go out for a nice romantic meal instead?" asked EJ, "We can leave the twins here with Uncle Eric and we can just have a little special mummy and daddy time together. How does that sound?"

"Like bliss," smiled Sami, "I feel like I'm barely seeing you nowadays with all the run around I'm doing for the wedding and us not even sharing a bed anymore. When we do spend time together there is always so many people around anyway and we keep having to steal moments here and there all the time."

"I know," nodded EJ, "I feel the same way. So dinner tonight will give us a chance to just stop and not have to worry about anything else other than being together."

"I'm in Mr DiMera," she smiled at him warmly, already excited at the thought.

"Great!"

EJ looked over to see John strolling into the room after Johnny had announced his arrival. John nodded at Johnny and continued to head towards the scotch decanter, pouring himself a glass. He took a sip of the alcohol and frowned, looking down at the liquid in his glass.

"Is there a problem Uncle?" asked EJ patiently.

"This latest crate of scotch has a definite porcupine after note to it," complained John, looking unhappy about that fact.

"Did he just say porcupine?" asked Sami, giving EJ a bewildered look.

"Unfortunately yes," sighed EJ and then more loudly to John, "You should complain about it uncle."

"I just did," reminded John, looking at EJ as though he was a bit thick.

"Not to us Uncle John," said EJ tightly remembering that his children were present and not wanting to use bad language, "To the distributor."

"I'll add them to my list," nodded John his eyes narrowing menacingly.

"Sorry?" asked EJ, "What list are you talking about Uncle?"

John suddenly looked decidedly shifty.

"Nothing," he said coolly, "I've said too much."

And with that totally cryptic comment he wafted out of the room just as he'd wafted in.

"Oh god now that was worrying," said EJ, looking suddenly tense, "What do you think he meant by that? You don't suppose my uncle is developing some kind of hit list do you?"

"It's entirely possible," said Sami straight faced.

EJ looked at her and sighed heavily.

"It is isn't it?" he agreed, "I guess I'd better do some investigation into this mysterious list. I do like to be forewarned about impending disasters."

"What was that about the porcupine thing anyway?" asked Sami, still a caught up with that new piece of strangeness.

"You know it's possible that Uncle John has synesthesia," mused EJ, almost to himself.

"Did you just sneeze?" asked Sami in exasperation still shaking her head at John's strangeness.

"Synesthesia is a condition where the person has a confusing of the senses," EJ informed her with a smile, "Someone with synesthesia might actually see individual notes of music in front of their eyes when listening to music or they can taste certain words, like the word hello tastes like mashed pumpkin. I believe the most common thing is for letters to have colours - you know, the letter A is red, B is green and so on but I also know that for them words can have smells as well."

"Really?" said Sami in amazement, "I've never heard of that before."

"It's not as uncommon as you might think actually," said EJ, "Most people with the condition don't see it as a liability but rather a boon - something extra if you will."

"And you think John might have this?" asked Sami.

"It might explain why his food tastes of blue and his scotch of porcupine," said EJ ruefully.

"So how do you get it and more importantly how do you cure it?" asked Sami with great interest.

"Well I'm no expert to be sure," said EJ thoughtfully, "I should really do some research into the whole condition but my understanding is that people are generally born with it but with the brain trauma my uncle has undergone… who knows?"

"And is there a cure?" she prompted him expectantly.

"Like I said Samantha," shrugged EJ, "Most people with the condition don't see it as a problem so no, there is no cure."

"So how does that help us then?" she asked in exasperation.

"I don't know," smiled EJ and gave a little laugh, "I just thought it was an interesting thought is all."

"Interesting but no help with the crazy," she said, rolling her eyes.

"Sad but true," sighed EJ, "Sad but true."

**oooOOOOooo**

"May I say you look absolutely ravishing tonight Mrs DiMera?" asked EJ, smiling warmly at his wife across from him at their table in Chez Rouge.

"You may Mr DiMera," said Sami with a smile.

"You look ravishing tonight my darling," said EJ huskily, his eyes drifting over her face and becoming glazing over slightly when they came to the large expanse of her pale skin on display before the brilliant blue of her dress began and rather disappointingly hide away the rest of her delights from him.

"Why thank you honey," she said with a little flutter of her eye lashes, "You look rather delicious yourself as well tonight."

"Delicious?" he said with a little chuckle.

Sami shrugged and looked over at him through her eyelashes coyly.

"_I'd_ eat you," she told him throatily and then slowly licked her lips.

EJ made a little wheezing gasp of a noise at how suggestively she was looking at him, his eyes riveted to the little bit of her tongue that she was letting him see as she whet her lips, leaving them glistening and enticing in its wake. He tore his eyes from lips eventually and met Sami's knowing gaze. Looks like his punishment for the bachelor party thing wasn't completely over mused EJ.

Apparently his wife had some more torture in store for him if this little display was any indication and EJ was torn over that fact. Any time Sami focused her many charms on him was a happy day in EJ's books but by the end of tonight they still had five days to go until the wedding and little games like these were not helpful in maintaining any kind of control around her. EJ reached out a shaking hand for his glass of water and nearly knocked it over, having to fumble quickly to rescue it and avert disaster. Sami giggled to see him so clumsy.

"Heartless minx," he told her, feigning annoyance at her teasing.

"Horny minx," she corrected him impishly and EJ closed his eyes and groaned softly to himself.

"What are you trying to do to me Samantha?" he asked her in quiet desperation, "You are killing me here sweetheart."

"But EJ," she said, wide eyed and looking so innocent, "I haven't even laid a finger on you…"

She paused for a moment then and gave a slow little smile.

"… yet," she said calmly.

Sami slipped her shoe off and trailed her stockinged foot up the inside leg of EJ's trousers and he jumped a little at the contact, his eyes widening. Sami held his gaze as her foot travelled higher and she moved down a little in her seat so she could reach him properly. EJ made a strangled noise as her foot made contact with his groin, pushing

"Samantha," said EJ, trying to sound stern but there was a definite uneven quality to his voice, "No more - I really don't think I'm up to the challenge tonight."

"That's so odd EJ," said Sami, with pretend confusion, rubbing her foot back and forth against his rapidly hardening crotch, "You _feel_ up to the challenge."

"Sweetheart," said EJ desperately, his lips pressed together as he tried to maintain a visage of control.

EJ was very conscious of the fact they were in a crowded restaurant but he was equally conscious of the fact a certain part of his anatomy hadn't seen this much action except for in his dreams in the last three weeks and was certainly loving the attention now.

A little too much actually.

"In about another twenty seconds this is going to get extremely embarrassing for us both," he informed her, his breathing decidedly ragged now.

"I thought you didn't embarrass EJ?" asked Sami sweetly, enjoying the power she had over him.

"Keep going and we'll find out," he said, gritting his teeth and realising that she wasn't going to stop of her own accord.

EJ put his hand under the table, thankful for the table cloth that hid their goings on from public view and grabbed her ankle, stilling her excruciatingly pleasing movements determinedly.

"Stop it right now Samantha," he ordered her sternly, worried that it might already be too late, "Or I will take you home right now!"

"And will you give me a spanking for being a bad girl when you do?" she asked him coyly, biting her lower lip.

EJ couldn't help himself then.

"Would you like that sweetheart?" rasped EJ, momentarily losing his focus as he imagined himself doing just that, putting her over his knee, her perfect white ass presented to him, the feel of the firm flesh under his palm, the sting of his hand on her softness.

She could see little beads of sweat breaking out on his forehead and upper lip and Sami pressed her advantage, a wicked smile spreading across her face.

"Oh yes," she breathed, leaning in closer to him over the table, "And what would you like EJ - what do you want?"

"I want…" EJ's voice was barely above a whisper, falling into the web she'd woven, letting himself loosen his grip on his self control, "I want to have you… right now… on this table Samantha."

"With all these people around?" asked Sami, her eyes widening in surprise, her own heart rate quickening now at hearing the urgency in his voice.

EJ began to caress her leg, his long fingers stroking the delicate skin of the ankle he was still holding onto under the table.

"Don't care," he growled and Sami couldn't help but shudder at the dark neediness in his voice, feeling an answering want.

EJ leant closer to Sami as well over the table.

"Samantha," he said huskily his eyes practically stripping her naked where she sat.

"Sami, EJ! How lovely to see you both tonight."

They both tensed at the sound of Maggie Horton's voice and looked up, the spell broken as the older woman walked up to their table.

"Maggie," smiled Sami brightly, regaining her composure quickly and greeting her, seeing EJ needed a couple of extra seconds to collect himself, "Hi, how are you?"

"Wonderful thanks Sami," she smiled down at them as she stood by their table now.

"Hello Maggie," EJ smiled warmly at the other woman, seeming to have composed himself somewhat and half stood up, pressing a kiss to her cheek, "You look beautiful tonight."

Sami gave a little knowing smirk as she saw him take the napkin he'd draped over his lap with him as he did, keeping it strategically placed. EJ sat back down and Sami promptly returned her foot to his crotch, knowing he could do nothing about it with Maggie standing right there. EJ gave her a warning look but she just smiled artlessly back at him. A waiter walked over then and handed Maggie a bottle of wine.

"I thought you two might enjoy some wine with your dinner," smiled Maggie, "Compliments of the house seeing as your wedding is only what, seven days away now?"

"Six," EJ corrected her hastily and had to clear his throat a bit because his voice cracked a little on the word, mainly because of what Sami was doing to him under the table, "And barely that Maggie, tomorrow will be five days to go."

"I see someone is counting the days," laughed Maggie at EJ's need to clarify that point.

"You have no idea Maggie," agreed EJ ruefully as Sami began to push a little harder on his groin, finding a rhythm which his body responded to helplessly.

Maggie poured the half glass of the wine for EJ to sample which he did and then smiled up at her.

"How is it?" asked Maggie, completely unaware of the under the table shenanigans.

"Impudent," said EJ calmly and somehow Sami didn't think he was talking about the wine.

EJ gave Sami a telling look then.

"Full bodied and definitely very impudent," he repeated and Sami knew for sure that the wine was the last thing on his mind right then.

"Sounds perfect," said Sami with a little smile.

"Indeed," nodded EJ and looked back up at Maggie, "Thank you Maggie, that was very kind of you."

"Not at all," she said with a little wave of her hand, "I'll leave you two love birds in peace now and I have to say, I can't wait for the wedding."

"You and me both Maggie," said EJ with a sigh which made Sami giggle a little.

Maggie took her leave and EJ grabbed at Sami's ankle again under the table.

"No more games missy!" he ordered her firmly, pushing her foot away from him and determinedly crossing his legs under the table so she wouldn't be tempted to try again… and he wouldn't be tempted to let her.

"Spoil sport," she pouted.

"Tell me about it," he said, sounding just as unhappy about it as she was, "Now let's order shall we eh sweetheart? I think we both need a bit of a distraction don't you?"

"I thought I was being plenty distracting," huffed Sami, looking over the top of her menu she'd just picked up at him.

"That you were my darling," he nodded with a bit of a grimace, "But we've got five days left to go until our wedding and we need to just focus on that fact and have a nice, romantic meal together."

"I want oysters," Sami announced cheekily, not directly answering him, "Lots of them - what do you think EJ?"

"I think that a little shellfish is not going to make me want you anymore than I do right now," said EJ with a shake of his head at how she wasn't going to let him off the hook that easily, "So I'll join you in that sweetheart."

As they waited for their entrée to arrive EJ attempted to steer the conversation into safer waters but somehow Sami kept being able to bring the most mundane subject back around to decidedly more sexy things. EJ blew out an exasperated breath at her latest double en tondre.

"Samantha behave yourself!" he chided her, "I'm finding this hard enough as it is."

Sami opened her mouth and he held up an imperious finger and waggled it at her.

"Don't!" he ordered her and Sami sat back in her chair looking a little petulant that he'd stopped her next little witticism, "And speaking of behaving yourself have you had a chance to tell Nicole that her services won't be required yet?"

"What do you mean?" asked Sami in confusion.

"For your bachelorette party of course," said EJ with a bit of a frown, "You've made your point sweetheart - you said you forgave me so we can forget all that nonsense about Nicole organising you a party eh?"

Sami sat back in her chair and looked at EJ speculatively.

"And is tank boy still throwing you a bachelor party?" she asked him flatly.

"Well… yes," conceded EJ with a bit of a shrug, "We had a deal, I can hardly welsh on it now can I darling?"

"Well _darling_," said Sami sweetly, "I guess I can hardly _welsh_ on my asking Nicole to run my party either."

EJ looked like he was suddenly in pain then, pursing his lips.

"You're not going to bend on this are you?" he asked eventually.

"I will when you do," she said reasonably.

"Right," said EJ with a bit of a sigh, "I guess we are at an impasse then."

"So it would seem," Sami nodded in agreement.

Further discussion was halted though when their entrée arrived, a dozen oysters to share between the two of them. Sami was hungry now and reached for an oyster, slathering it in sauce and popping one in her mouth with a satisfied look. EJ laughed to see the enjoyment on her face and followed suit, not bothering with the sauce though. He swallowed his mouthful and gave a little frown.

"What is it?" asked Sami, tilting her head at him.

"Did your oyster taste a little funny?" he asked her uncertainly.

"It tasted like seafood sauce," grinned Sami as she took a sip of wine and EJ chuckled, she had put a lot of the condiment on.

"I guess I'm just used to eating the ones I would import myself," shrugged EJ, taking another one and deciding it was all in his head.

"This wine tastes a little odd though," said Sami, putting her glass back down.

"What?" EJ grinned, "Is there a porcupine after note to it?"

Sami laughed at that and shook her head as they shared the joke.

"I think it's most likely all that sauce you had with that oyster," smiled EJ, "Ruined your palate somewhat."

"Maybe my palate is just hungry for something else?" she suggested to him cheekily.

"Samantha!" he groaned at her.

"Want me to stop?" she asked him playfully, popping another sauce saturated oyster into her mouth, her eyes twinkling.

"No," growled EJ giving in, "I never want you to stop flirting with me Samantha… ever."

Their meal over Sami suggested they move onto the dance floor.

"I can never say no to dancing with my beautiful wife," agreed EJ, standing up and helping Sami out of her chair.

As soon as they were on the dance floor EJ pulled her into his arms, holding her close to him as they moved to the music in perfect sync. EJ closed his eyes and rested his cheek on the top of Sami's head, revelling in the feeling of having her softness pressed up against him, the feel of her in his arms.

"Do you remember the last time we danced together," she asked him softly after a little while, her voice muffled somewhat against his coat jacket.

EJ smiled and lifted his head, looking down at Sami as she looked up at him and he nodded.

"Very distinctly," he said huskily, remembering their bliss filled night at the hotel.

"Do you remember what we did after we danced?" she asked him, her voice low so that only he could hear.

EJ dropped his forehead to touch hers even as they still moved to the music together.

"Yes," he rasped, tightening his hold on her somewhat.

"We went into the elevator," she reminded him anyway quietly, "With all those other people and you put your hand on my breasts right there, with them all there."

EJ's body tensed at the memory, the excitement he'd felt at having his hands on her so intimately while all of those people in the elevator. It had been especially arousing to him that she'd let him do that, like the time in the Brady Pub when he'd taken her with Lucas sitting right there. God, the memories were driving him crazy.

"And when you had me alone in that elevator you told me that you wanted me again, right there," she continued on and EJ nodded, his eyes becoming hooded and dark as she continued to reminisce about their little getaway.

"You turned me round, bent me over and took me from behind," she said unevenly, working herself up with the memory as well, "God EJ, you were so wild, I came so damn hard when you did that."

"Samantha!" he grunted, pulling her as close as he could now, barely even bothering to pretend that they were dancing any more.

Sami could feel the distinct hardness of his growing manhood and a shudder ran through her.

"I want you to take me like that again EJ," she groaned up at him, feeling her panties getting wetter by the second as she became more and more excited by the prospect, "Right now!"

"We've only got another five days to go Samantha," said EJ, his breathing coming in uneven pants now.

"I won't tell anyone if you won't," she told him unsteadily, needing to have that hardness she could feel pressed up against her back inside of her again otherwise she was certain she was going to die from how much she wanted him right then.

"But we're really close sweetheart," he told her shakily, giving it one last valiant try because if they did this the last thing he wanted her to do was regret it later.

"_I'm_ really close now," she told him, her breath as uneven as his now, "If you know what I mean EJ."

"Yes," said EJ, swallowing hard, "Yes I do."

The two shared a long desperate look, their longing for one another finally overtaking them utterly.


	66. Chapter 66

**Chapter SIXTY SIX**

EJ grabbed Sami's hand and practically dragged her from the dance floor, clearly a man on a mission now. He started to move her towards the door but Sami protested.

"EJ!" she laughed at him and he turned around looking back over his shoulder at her expectantly, if somewhat impatiently.

"Don't you think you should pay for the meal?" she suggested to him with a smile, "Maggie might get upset if we try and run out on paying the bill."

"Maggie will understand," said EJ straight faced but with a definite urgent undertone to his voice, "It's an emergency."

"Go and pay EJ!" she laughed the order up at him, "I'll wait for you in the foyer."

EJ frowned, clearly unhappy at anything that was going to delay his being with Samantha again in the fullest sense of the word.

"You're wasting time," she pointed out to him in amusement and this seemed to galvanise EJ into action.

"I'll be two minutes!" he said quickly, "Don't, whatever you do Samantha, lose that lovin' feelin'."

Sami burst out laughing at that.

"That was so corny EJ!" she chortled up at him and then gave him an impish wink, "And don't worry EJ - that lovin' feelin' isn't going anywhere without your assistance - and I think I'm going to be needing _a lot _of assistance tonight."

"Hot damn!" said EJ excitedly, "I'll be one minute!"

Sami grinned at his eagerness and wandered off to wait in the foyer for him. She walked over to the large window there, looking up at the many stars there and just counted her blessings… and found there were a lot to count - not least the fact that she was finally going to be having her husband in the bed beside her again tonight. She'd so missed him there, not just for the sex, although she _really_ missed that as well but just because his physical presence was so very comforting to her. She loved the feeling of his body lying next to hers. It made her unbelievably happy to have him there, know that whatever she needed she could just roll over and EJ would be right there. Sami had a great many things she needed from EJ tonight and her lips curved up in a mischievous smile as she worked out which particular needs were going to come first.

EJ walked out into the foyer after having just paid and said his farewells to Maggie and saw Sami waiting for him by the door. He smiled to see her looking out the large window there up at the night sky, bathed in the moonlight. She looked like some otherworldly creature, her pale skin glowing and her long blonde hair flowing down her back. EJ felt a thrill of euphoria knowing she was his and his body began to throb painfully as he realised how close he was to having her naked in his arms again, crying out his name as they pleasured each other endlessly with their bodies.

EJ swallowed hard and decided he needed to get them home and fast. He went to walk over and join Sami but as he did he noticed that he wasn't the only one taking his time to admire the gorgeousness that was his wife. EJ turned his head and saw of all people the man from the bar - Guy. EJ had his features etched into his brain forever, especially when he'd watched the other man kissing Samantha. Guy stood there, obviously having just come out of the rest room and was standing over to EJ's left but in front of him, not having seen EJ yet.

Sami hadn't noticed the other man as she had her back to both Guy and EJ but Guy had clearly noticed her, running his eyes all over her quite freely. An almost uncontrollable surge of angry possessiveness enveloped EJ that any man would dare to look at his wife like that and in particular this man. EJ just stood there watching him silently, his jaw clenched so tightly that it was beginning to ache. Guy turned to head into the restaurant then and all the colour drained out of his face when he saw EJ standing there with a murderous look on his face.

Guy opened his mouth to say he wasn't doing anything but EJ didn't give him the chance - he'd been warned. Wordlessly EJ's just simply snapped back his fist and hit Guy so hard in the face that he was knocked out cold with out uttering even a sound. He hit the ground and wasn't moving, not that EJ cared. The jealousy pumping through his veins and it took all his willpower not to simply kick the man while he was down but he didn't have time for that. Stepping over Guys lifeless body he walked over to where Sami was still standing with her back to them both, oblivious to it all and took her arm.

"Ready to go darling?" he asked her with no trace of his earlier wrath as he spoke tenderly to his wife.

"Very," she smiled up at him, her blue eyes full of promise.

EJ led her to the door, keeping himself between Sami and Guys' unconscious body but a couple of people had begun to gather just as he'd gotten her to the door.

"What's that?" asked Sami curiously, trying to look around EJ who was still determinedly blocking her view.

EJ looked back over his shoulder and smiled down at her.

"Just someone who's had a little too much to drink," he said smoothly, his eyes holding hers, "There are people helping him, they don't need us as well - let's go home eh?"

"Yes," Sami said breathlessly, feeling a little tingle in her stomach at the way he was looking at her so hungrily, "Let's."

**oooOOOOooo**

The ride home had been done in record time and EJ now had Sami all to himself at long last. He closed their bedroom door, leaning back on it and eyeing her hungrily.

"I've missed you so much" he told her, his voice raw and uneven, the weeks of being without her showing in the strain in his voice.

Sami turned around and looked at him.

"I've missed you too EJ," she confessed to him breathlessly, "These last weeks have been like torture for me."

"You and me both sweetheart," he told her with a groan.

"EJ," she said huskily, "I want…"

"What do you want sweetheart?" he asked her, his voice low and full of excitement.

"I want my lover to put his hands on my body," she whispered, "I want him to touch me."

"Where?" rasped EJ, pushing himself away from the door he was still leaning on, "Where do you want me to touch you?"

Sami held his gave while her hand reached up behind her back, pulling on the zip back there and then shrugging out of her dress, leaving her just in her panties and stockings. EJ's eyes ran over her almost naked body like he was a man famished and seeing a banquet laid out before him. Without thinking about it he pulled his own shirt and tie off, throwing them in a careless heap along with her dress. Sami stepped closer and picked up his hand, lifting it to her lips and kissing his palm before bringing it to her breast and pressing it to her softness. She repeated her actions with his other hand and her other breast, throwing her head back as he kneaded her softness, his fingers finding her nipples and doing what she liked best to them. Sami's hand then found its way to the front of his pants, cupping the growing bulge there.

"Pants," she complained to him and EJ forced himself to release her breasts just so he could quickly remove his trousers and boxers and then reclaimed his dual treasures.

Sami looked down to see him already fully erect and groaned excitedly to think she was soon going to be impaled on all that rapidly thickening hardness. EJ seemed to find her approving moans particularly exciting, backing them up to the bed and pushing her down on the bed before moving over her. His mouth went to one nipple and then the other, suckling hard before moving lower. He was desperate to be touching Sami all at once, couldn't get enough of her. He nuzzled her mound, breathing in the erotic scent of her arousal which he'd missed so much. Their 'nothing below the waist' rule had deprived him of her sweet nectar but that was all about to change now. EJ's mouth actually began to water at the thought of having her juices in his mouth again and his head dipped lower, determinedly seeking out his prize.

"We… we should check on the twins," managed Sami breathlessly even as she held herself tensely, waiting for that first intimate touch, realising to her shame she hadn't even given them a second thought until just then.

As soon as EJ touched her core she knew she wouldn't be able to think about anything beyond what he was doing to her and made a valiant attempt to try and put her children above her own raging need. EJ lifted his head, blinking at her groggily.

"Yes," he rasped, knowing that would be the right thing to do and fighting against the urge to just keep going and worry about their children later.

EJ hauled himself off her reluctantly and Sami sat up, reaching for a nearby brown t-shirt of EJ's to cover her nakedness while EJ pulled on a pair of his pyjama bottoms. EJ couldn't help the groan at seeing her beautiful body being hidden from his avid gaze again. Sami took his hand and they walked from their room to the twins room across the hallway and stood in the door way, looking down at their two sleeping angels.

"One… two," counted EJ quietly, going from cot to cot and then looked down at Sami, "That seems about right."

"It does doesn't it?" agreed Sami weakly, her stomach turning to jelly at the way he was looking at her.

"Shall we retire for the night then sweetheart do you think?" he asked her hopefully but there was a marked desperate under tone to the question.

"Oh yes," she sighed, just as pent up and frustrated as he was, "Let's go and retire our brains out EJ."

"Capital idea my love," said EJ weakly, watching as Sami walked from the room, "I'm right behind you."

EJ watched the gentle sway of his wife's hips as she walked back to their room and gave a little pleased smile, enjoying the show.

He followed her into their bedroom and once again shut the door behind them.

"Alone at last," he smiled at her, his eyes dancing mischievously.

Sami bit her lip, her stomach churning in nervous excitement at the thought of being with him again.

"You're a long way away EJ," she pouted at him.

EJ quickly covered the distance between them.

"Is this better?" he asked, taking her into his arms.

"It's a start," said Sami, smiling up at him.

EJ's hands dropped to Sami's bottom, cupping both her cheeks in his large hands and squeezing her softness tightly.

"And that's an even better one," she purred up at him.

"You know," said EJ thoughtfully, starting to rub his returning hardness against Sami's stomach as they swayed together slowly, "I seem to recall talk of some smacks being required earlier this evening."

"But I have to be a bad girl first," she informed him and then went up on her toes, pulling on EJ's shoulder to he'd bend his head and she could whisper in his ear, "Do you want to see me be a bad girl EJ?"

"Yes seems too small a word for how badly I want that Samantha," said EJ with an approving growl at her invitation.

Sami arched a knowing eyebrow and then holding his gaze sank slowly to her knees in front of him, making EJ swallow hard. She pulled on his pyjama bottoms and his swollen manhood sprang free and Sami giggled to see him already so hard for her even as she felt an answering wetness between her own legs. She flicked out a playful tongue, catching his velvety tip and EJ made a strangled noise, his hips and his manhood jerking involuntarily.

"You know on second thoughts sweetheart," said EJ unevenly, pulling her back onto her feet, "That might not be such a good idea in my current state. I really don't think I can last any amount of time if you do that."

EJ pulled Sami into his arms, kissing her face, her neck, her chest passionately.

"The first time I come in all this time I want to be inside of you," he groaned the request against her cheek, one of his hands going to her breast and massaging it, his thumb rubbing back and forth roughly over her already erect nipple.

"EJ," breathed Sami, her head suddenly spinning.

Sami felt herself break out in a cold sweat when EJ had pulled her to her feet like that all of sudden. The nervous turning over her stomach had been doing no longer felt so much sexy as sickening as she felt herself begin to shake.

"Samantha!" groaned EJ, oblivious to her growing problem, "Oh god Samantha!"

"EJ," repeated Sami unevenly, starting to shake in earnest now.

EJ realised that Sami's skin suddenly felt clammy and cold under his lips and he lifted his head and was shocked to see how pale she suddenly was.

"Samantha?" he said worriedly, bending his head to look at her more closely, "Sweetheart… are you alright?"

"No," said Sami slowly as the churning in her stomach began to really take over, "I don't think I am."

Suddenly she felt her stomach heave and Sami tore herself from EJ's arms and ran as fast as she could to the bathroom, just reaching it in time to throw up noisily into the toilet bowl. EJ was hot on her heels and was just in time to witness the grand event. EJ pursed his lips and grimaced slightly. If people thought oysters were unattractive the first time round then they should really see this he decided. EJ crouched down beside Sami as she continued to heave up all of her stomach contents and then some it appeared. He rubbed her back and held her hair back with his other hand until she was done.

"Oh god," said Sami weakly, slumping back against him weakly when she was finally done as EJ leaned over and pressed the button, flushing away the remains of their meal that night.

Sami lay there breathing unsteadily for a moment and then struggled to get up.

"I'll carry you," said EJ, moving to pick her up but she shook her head.

"I'm alright," said Sami unevenly, getting up unsteadily with his help, "I just need to brush my teeth."

EJ stood close by, letting her lean up against him as she brushed her teeth and splashed cool water on her now heated face.

"Better?" asked EJ sympathetically, his previous arousal all but gone now and she nodded mutely at him, words a little beyond her still.

There was something about watching the woman you love be violently ill that was pretty much a passion killer he decided. Not that he was so concerned about that right now but rather that Sami was going to be alright.

"Looks like it wasn't all in my head with those oysters after all," said EJ with a little half smile although he did wonder vaguely why he wasn't feeling sick but then he supposed it only took one bad one to make someone sick - maybe he'd just gotten lucky.

Sami made a sad face and mumbled her agreement, shuffling her way back into the bedroom.

"I'm sorry," she said, her lower lip quivering and a big, fat tear rolling down her face as she looked up at him despondently, "That wasn't very romantic of me… or sexy."

"Well no," conceded EJ with a half smile, "But it also wasn't your fault… come here you."

EJ pulled Sami carefully into his arms and wrapped his arms firmly around her, lending her some of his strength.

"I wanted to have sex tonight," she wailed against his cheek and gave a little sniffle.

"There will be other nights Samantha," and Sami felt him give a little rumbling laugh, "Look at me."

Sami turned her head away from him as EJ pulled back, his hands going to her arms as he tried to make eye contact with her.

"Samantha," he prompted her and Sami bit her lip and looked up at him, knowing she must look a mess while he looked absolutely perfect as usual.

EJ's eyes filled then with such love and adoration that Sami felt herself begin to choke up again.

"I love you," he told her tenderly, "Any time I spend with you is the highlight of my day… no matter what we're doing."

"_This_ was the highlight of your day?" she asked him sceptically starting to feel a little nauseous again.

"I don't enjoy seeing you sick Samantha but I want to be with you always, in sickness and in health, just like in our wedding vows," he told her sincerely.

"EJ," said Sami shakily, just wanting desperately the comfort of his nearness, "Will you stay with me tonight… and just hold me?"

"Of course Samantha," he told her quietly, pulling her into his arms again and resting his chin on the top of her head, "Always."

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ walked into their bedroom early the next morning after quickly checking on the twins. He smiled tenderly to see Sami still flaked out on the bed. She'd had a rough night but at least she seemed to be resting easier now. EJ climbed onto the bed beside her, careful not to disturb the sleeping beauty and looking down on her. Sami was lying on her side, her hair messily over her face and EJ thought she'd never looked so beautiful. To have spent the night by her side again had been utter bliss. Of course it would have been even more blissful without the vomiting but any time EJ could be near his Samantha he was content.

He reached out a hand and moved the blonde hair that was covering her face and was relieved to see that she had some colour back in her cheeks. Sami stirred a little under his gentle caress and slowly came awake, turning on her back and looking groggily up at him.

"Sorry," he said softly, "I didn't mean to wake you."

"What times is it?" she asked sleepily, still a bit disorientated from her fitful slumber.

"Early," he told her, "The twins are still asleep. How are you feeling darling?"

Sami blinked a couple of times and thought about his question.

"I feel fine," she told him, a little surprised by that fact seeing as she'd been so ill last night.

Sami frowned and looked up at him.

"How are you feeling EJ?" she asked him curiously, after all, he'd eaten just as many oysters as she had.

"Fit as a Malley bull," he told her with a smile which made Sami look at him with some confusion so he clarified the statement for her, "I'm good sweetheart, never felt better. Apparently I have a somewhat more robust constitution then you do my darling… or maybe you just picked up a 24 hour bug or something?"

"Mm," she nodded thoughtfully.

"So I think you should spend today in bed Samantha," said EJ solicitously, "We can't be too careful with the wedding only five days away now. You need to get some rest."

"But I feel fine," she protested, "And besides I've got a million things to do today - I can't stay in bed."

"I really think you should Samantha," he argued with her determinedly.

Sami looked up at him, her eyes running over her husbands broad, naked chest and feeling a familiar thrill of desire for him.

"I will if you stay in bed with me," she said and gave him a coquettish look.

"Really?" said EJ with great interest.

"Aha," she nodded, sitting up and leaning into him invitingly, "Like I said EJ… I'm feeling fine."

"Well then," said EJ, his eyes dropping to her lips, "That's an offer that I'm finding very hard to say no to."

"Then don't," she breathed, closing the distance between them in an already heated kiss.

EJ put his hand on her bent knee, leaning more fully into the kiss, losing himself in her immediately, all of last night's arousal returning to him in full force.

"I want you EJ," she told him breathlessly, rubbing her breasts against his chest, looking up at him longingly.

"Are you sure you're up for this?" he asked her uncertainly, remembering how sick she'd seemed last night.

"As up for it as you are," she told him throatily, the back of one of her hands rubbing back and forth over his rapidly hardening member as he sat there beside her.

"That's pretty keen," conceded EJ ruefully, shuddering at her light touch.

"Then stop talking and let's do this then," said Sami urgently, her nails raking his naked chest as she bit his shoulder teasingly.

"Oh yes," groaned EJ, pulling her close to him and bending his head to the long line of her neck.

EJ sighed happily, kissing along her neck, tongue flicking out and tasting her skin.

"Looks like the oysters were in the clear after all," he murmured against her skin with a smile, starting to push Sami backwards, intent on moving his body over her and picking up where they left off last night.

Sami's eyes widened suddenly at the mention of the shellfish and EJ pulled back, feeling her stiffen in his arms. He looked at her face as it suddenly went deathly pale and then a decidedly worrying shade of green. Sami pressed her lips together and pushed on EJ's chest, scrambling off the bed and making a mad dash for the bathroom followed by the sound of violent vomiting.

"Then again…" mused EJ ruefully as he grimaced to hear his wife being violently ill, "… perhaps not."

_Why hadn't he done like she told him and simply shut up?!_


	67. Chapter 67

**Chapter SIXTY SEVEN**

**Four Days Until The Wedding…**

The next day EJ walked from the foyer in to the living room heading towards the kitchen and but stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Sami standing at the French doors quietly crying. He immediately forgot what he was doing and rushed over to her.

"Samantha?" he said urgently, putting a hand on her arm and making her turn around properly to face her, "Sweetheart - are you alright? What's happened, do you feel sick again?"

"No," she said faintly, trying to smile up at him through all of her tears, "Nothing's wrong EJ, I'm fine."

"But you're crying," he informed her hesitantly with a bit of a frown.

"I know," she said and her bottom lip wobbled at that and Sami looked so much like Ali when she did that EJ couldn't stand it."

"Oh sweetheart," he said achingly, pulling her into his arms and hugging her tightly, "What's wrong?"

"Noth… nothing," she stammered shakily and then began to cry in earnest.

EJ cupped the back of her head with one hand and pressed a kiss to the top of her head as he felt her little body began to shake from her sobs.

"Samantha please," he said, drawing back to look her in the eye, anxiety etched into his features, "You're scaring me, tell me what's wrong darling."

Sami looked up at him and shook her head.

"Nothing's wrong EJ," she said and gave a little sniffle at that, a stray tear streaked down her face as she spoke to him, "I'm just tired and emotional and I'm worried about that something is going to go wrong with the wedding and if the roses will arrive in time and if I've done the seating arrangements right and a hundred other little things."

Sami sighed heavily knowing she sounded a totally pathetic but not seeming to be able to help herself. The worried look on EJ's face also made her feel very guilty that she'd made him anxious for no good reason.

"I promise you that nothing is wrong EJ," she tried to comfort him now, "I'm just being silly."

"My darling girl," he said with a tender smile, before kissing her forehead and pulling her back into her arms, "You're not being silly. You've been simply amazing these last months. You're still recuperating, you're taking care of two very active one year olds full time plus you've been organising this wedding practically single-handedly. You take my breath away Samantha, you really do."

"Don't be nice to me," she told him, a wobble in her voice now as she began to cry again at his sweet words.

Her emotions were all over the place and when he was so loving like this it just made her want to cry harder.

"No?" he said and she felt the little rumble of laughter against her cheek as he found her request amusing, "Alright then… you're a terrible cook, possibly even a life threatening one."

Sami pulled back out of his arms and gave him an annoyed look at that last thing.

"But don't be mean to me!" she said hotly, her tears forgotten as she slapped her arm and glared up at him.

"Oh," he said, the corners of his mouth turning up a little at seeing her annoyance at him, his little plan to distract having obviously worked, "Then you're limiting my options somewhat sweetheart."

"Just hold me," she told him, rolling her eyes at his teasing of her.

"Happily," he smiled down at her and hugged her to him again.

"But say something," she instructed him, her voice muffled somewhat against his chest as she closed her eyes and tightened her arms around his waist.

EJ pursed his lips, trying to find something suitably neutral to go with.

"I think we're going to have an early spring this year," he commented and was rewarded with another smack.

"You drive me crazy," said Sami but there was no force to her words and her tears were long forgotten now.

EJ grinned to hear that, knowing exactly how she felt.

"Samantha," he said evenly, "Nothing is going to go wrong for us on our wedding day. Everything is going to be absolutely perfect no matter what happens because we're going to be together. Sweetheart, wading through a sewer would be the most romantic, perfect time of my life as long as I had you by my side."

"Oh EJ," she sighed, looking up at him, "That was so sweet."

She paused then and frowned, suddenly looking worried.

"You don't think we're going to have problems with our sewage at the wedding do you?" she asked him fretfully.

"No I don't darling," he said firmly, sorry he'd chosen that particular illustration now, "So don't even give it a second thought. Why don't you come in and I'll make you some morning tea - you barely ate anything at breakfast this morning."

In fact EJ had been noticing that Sami was barely eating anything at all these days.

After the oyster incident two days ago now he'd been keeping a closer eye on what Sami was eating and discovered it to be very little despite telling him she no longer felt sick. He didn't want to add to her pressures but he was growing increasingly concerned that she was on some last minute crazy crash diet for the wedding. That was the last thing he wanted her to do, not just because she simply didn't need to and was perfect just as she was but she still wasn't up to full strength from her surgery and even though she tried to hide it from him he could see she was tiring pretty easily nowadays.

"I'm not hungry," she said with a little shake of her head, "But thanks."

"Samantha," said EJ, looking very serious all of a sudden, "You have to eat."

"I know that," she frowned.

"Perhaps our checkups this afternoon are coming at a good time," said EJ still looking concerned.

He, Sami and Ali were all having a routine follow up to their surgeries. EJ had organised their various doctors so they could all have appointments within half an hour of each other so they could take turns looking after the twins when the other one went in and they could both go in together with Ali for hers. They really didn't have the time to waste to be going back and forth to the hospital at the moment.

"EJ I'm fine," she said with a shake of her head, trying to reassure him, "I'm just organising a wedding and being a mom like you said. There just aren't enough minutes in the day at the moment."

"Well tell me how I can help?" said EJ solicitously, "There must be something I can do to lighten your load somehow? And what about Eric - I'm sure there are things you can get him to do if you don't want me seeing some of the wedding detail things yet."

"I've already roped Eric into a ton of things," nodded Sami and then she smiled up at EJ, "But if you don't mind watching the twins for me this afternoon so I can go out and do some errands for me that would be great?"

"How about you give the errands to me and I'll do them and I'll organise Marlena to look after the twins so you can have a nap instead?" he offered her hopefully.

"These are things I really need to do myself EJ," she said with a shake of her head, touched by his concern over her, "Don't worry, really - if you can look after that twins for me that will be a big help."

EJ didn't look overly convinced that he was being as helpful as he could be but Sami was determined so he let it be for the moment.

**oooOOOOooo**

That afternoon EJ and Sami were desperately trying to entertain the twins while they waited for Samantha's appointment. The box of toys thoughtfully provided in the waiting room helped and Ali and Johnny were currently making an almighty mess with them while EJ and Sami tried to contain the carnage to a more or less confined space. They had already been in with Ali and been given a clean bill of health which was unbelievably relieving to the anxious parents. Even though Ali gave every indication of being completely heal from her surgery it was just very nice to hear a professional give the same opinion.

EJ had also gotten a clean bill of health which Sami in particular had been fretting over a bit so that was one less thing to worry about and now all that was left was for her to see the doctor. John had accompanied them to the check ups as was his want whenever a hospital was involved. EJ thought he secretly enjoyed being in them for some reason that was beyond fathoming… but then most of John was beyond fathoming. A point driven home to him yet again when John returned from his wanderings.

"There you are," said EJ with a shake of his head as he retrieved another thrown block from the other side of the room, courtesy of his son, "Where have you been Uncle? We'd thought you'd gotten lost."

"John doesn't get lost," said John expressionlessly, "John has an excellent sense of direction."

Sami and EJ exchanged glances with one another and EJ sighed heavily.

"This is new," he noted to Sami in a quiet aside and she rolled her eyes at him, no longer surprised by anything John did… well, most things anyway.

"Uncle what…?" EJ went to question him further but then was distracted by the fact that John had his pants and coat pocket crammed full of various items.

EJ squinted at them and gave John a bemused look.

"What have you got there?" he asked in consternation, "What's that in all your pockets Uncle John?"

"John found some things when he was looking round," John explained.

"And you just took them?" asked EJ in amazement, shaking his head.

EJ walked over to where John was standing for a closer look. John had a little bit of everything wedged into his pockets - tongue depressors, cotton buds, gloves, surgical masks, swabs and a few other bits and pieces that EJ didn't recognise plus a stethoscope around his neck.

"John didn't see any signs to say he couldn't," said John expressionlessly.

"But what could you want all these things for?" asked EJ in bewilderment and then frowned at John, "And please stop talking about yourself in the third party Uncle!"

"John can if he wants," protested John huffily, "And John never knows when something might come in handy. John's nephew should remember that and get on his back."

EJ looked blankly back at John for a moment deciphering that last part.

"Get _off your _back!" he corrected John in exasperation, working out what he meant rather than what he'd said, "The expression is for someone to get _off your _back Uncle! And you have to return these things - especially the stethoscope!"

"John doesn't have to if John doesn't want to," said John petulantly, "John's nephew is not the boss of him - John is the boss of John… and occasionally Blondie is the boss of John when it means John gets to see boobs because of it."

"John!" exclaimed Sami in horror from where she was now sitting on the ground playing dolls with Ali and then looked over at her husband, "EJ! Stop him!"

"You're being weird Uncle," said EJ distractedly as he stopped Johnny from leaping off the chair he'd just climbed up, "Well weirder than normal, so just cease and desist will you!"

"John doesn't care for your attitude Nephew," said John looking a little miffed now at EJ's censure.

"Yes well _John_ had better get used to it if he persists on being this annoying!" said EJ, picking up a wriggling Johnny and shaking his head at him, "Settle down you - I've got my hands full enough with one John - I don't need another one playing up!"

Lexie walked in and smiled to see them all, her smile slipping a somewhat when she saw John.

"John," she said, looking perplexed, "Why are you wearing a stethoscope around your neck?"

"Don't," EJ warned her with a shake of his head.

"Because John couldn't fit it all in his mouth at once," said John stoically.

Lexie just stood there; hardly able to believe what she was hearing.

"I warned you," said EJ unsympathetically, "There is no happy ending to this story Lexie."

"John you didn't really try and put that stethoscope in your mouth did you?" asked Lexie, pressing the point because it was just so utterly bizarre.

"John is bored with this topic now," announced John flatly, "He wishes for you to talk about something else."

Lexie looked over at EJ and he just shrugged.

"Our uncle has just taken to speaking about himself in the third person," EJ informed her with a roll of his eyes, "We're all so _very_ thrilled about it."

"Oh wow," said Lexie wide eyed, "Umm, okay… I guess."

"It will probably be just like the duck thing," said Sami with a shrug of her shoulders, strangely calm about the situation.

"The duck thing?" asked Lexie in bemusement.

"Yeah," said Sami nonchalantly, "John went for an entire 24 hours when instead of saying 'the' he used the word 'duck' instead but he was over it in a day."

Lexie stared at Sami as though she'd gone mad.

"You know," explained Sami casually, "Instead of - 'I need you to move the car EJ' he'd say 'I need you to duck car EJ' or 'the peacocks are on the patio with the twins' he'd say 'duck peacocks are on duck patio with duck twins'."

Lexie blinked and tried to make some kind of sense of all that.

"You got used to it," said EJ calmly, "Although I did spend an inordinate amount of time that day ducking down, thinking my uncle was continually warning me of something about to take my head off."

"But it only lasted a day and so will this probably," said Sami easily.

"John doesn't like how he's being talked about as though John isn't here," announced John moodily, "John doesn't have to stand for this kind of character defamation."

"Well _John_ should try and be less deserving of defamation and then everything would be just jim dandy now wouldn't it?" observed EJ wryly.

"John rejects your reality and inserts his own," said John defiantly, turning around and marching off.

"Return that stethoscope Uncle!" said EJ sternly as he called out after him to which John just gave him a casual wave.

EJ shook his head as he watched his uncle wander off.

"That man is a complete loon!" said EJ in exasperation.

"And how is this news to you how EJ?" asked Sami with a roll of her eyes.

"I don't know if there is real pathology going on there in his brain or if he just tries to come up with new things to be annoying about deliberately," grumbled EJ with a shake of his head.

"It certainly is very… extreme behaviour," said Lexie faintly, looking at EJ and Sami with new found admiration.

"It comes and goes in waves," EJ said with a sigh.

"Yeah," said Sami with a roll of her eyes, "Like a tsunami!"

EJ and Lexie laughed at her little joke and then Lexie smiled at Sami.

"We're just waiting for Dr Connors to see Samantha," said EJ, eyeing his increasingly fidgety children out of the corner of his eye.

They'd been extremely good but they'd been at the hospital for nearly two hours now and they were getting a bit bored with it all.

"You don't happen to know how much longer he might be?" asked EJ hopefully.

"Actually that is why I'm here," said Lexie with a smile, "Dr Connors has been caught up in surgery and won't be able to make your check up Sami."

"Oh," said Sami casually, "That's fine, I won't worry about it then."

"I really think you should see someone sweetheart," said EJ quickly, "I mean after that bout of food poisoning and all…"

"Food poisoning?" asked Lexie with an arch of an eyebrow.

"It was nothing," Sami dismissed the incident easily.

"You were very ill Samantha," said EJ with a shake of his head, "It wasn't nothing."

"I don't want to have to make another appointment to come back and see the doctor," complained Sami, "I feel fine and it's four days until our wedding and only five days until Christmas EJ… I'll do it in the new year when I have more time."

EJ didn't look happy with her suggestion but Lexie intervened.

"Well I was going to say I'd be happy to do your check up Sami," offered Lexie, "If you're okay with that. I'll understand if you might be a bit uncomfortable about that but it would mean you wouldn't have to make another appointment."

"It's not that I'd be uncomfortable," said Sami with a shake of her head, "I just think it's not necessary is all."

"Ali and I have had our checkups and now it's your turn," said EJ firmly, "If you're happy to have Lexie do your check up and Lexie is happy to give you your check up then I think you should just do it sweetheart."

"Fine," said Sami making it clear that she thought he was making a big deal over nothing but giving in anyway, "But I have to go to the little girl's room first if that's okay Lexie?"

"Of course," nodded Lexie.

Sami went to move off and EJ stepped in front of her, brushing a quick kiss to her cheek.

"Thank you for humouring me sweetheart," he told her softly, his eyes soft and loving.

"I guess I can't really hold it against you that you're concerned for me," said Sami with a rueful laugh and then looked over at Lexie, "I'll just be a minute."

"That's fine Sami," smiled Lexie.

Brother and sister watched her leave and then when Sami was out of earshot EJ turned to Lexie, his face openly worried now.

"What is it EJ?" asked Lexie, frowning up at him.

EJ grimaced and put down Johnny to play with his sister again.

"I was just wondering if you could do me a favour?" asked EJ, looking uneasy.

"Of course," nodded Lexie, "If I can EJ - anything for you, you know that."

"It's just could you do an thorough check up on Samantha for me?" he asked her seriously.

"As opposed to the slap dash one I was planning on doing?" asked Lexie mockingly, raising her eyebrows at him.

"That isn't what I mean," said EJ ruefully, "It's just that I think Samantha has been losing weight recently and I'm not really seeing her eat very much at all. She claims that she isn't on a diet or anything and that she just isn't hungry. As a result I think she's overly tired all the time…"

"How long do you think this has been going on EJ?" asked Lexie with a frown.

"She's never returned to full strength since her surgery," fretted EJ, "But she just won't slow down no matter how much I ask her to."

"Sami has a lot on her plate right now," reasoned Lexie, "It's a stressful time of year and that doesn't take into account organising a wedding, being a mom to twins and trying to recover from surgery EJ. I'm sure that as soon as the wedding is over with and Christmas is behind us everything will settle down. It's most likely Sami's just stressed and a little overwrought. Throw in some food poisoning as well and most people wouldn't even still be standing right now. I think you're worrying for nothing EJ."

"I know," said EJ with a strained smile, "I've told myself the exact same things but I can't stop myself from worrying about it Lexie. I have this terrible feeling of impending doom all of a sudden and I don't know where it is coming from. My life is perfect… better than perfect. I have everything I ever dreamed of and more besides."

EJ shook his head, frustrated with himself for being so morose.

"Samantha and the twins are my entire world," he said softly, his eyes looking suspiciously bright all of a sudden as he became emotional, "If anything were to happen…"

EJ stopped again, having to get himself back under control, not ever being able to finish that sentence. He pressed his lips together and bit down on his bottom lip and gave his sister a rueful look.

"I'm sorry," he sighed, "I think I'm a little overwrought myself these days."

"EJ," said Lexie, putting a compassionate hand on his arm, "Everything is going to be alright. I'm sure Sami is perfectly fine and I'll be very thorough in my check up with her… I promise."

"Of course you will," said EJ shame faced, "I never meant to imply you'd be anything but a consummate professional Lexie. I swear… I don't know what I'm saying half the time. I think I'm fretting over this bachelor party our uncle is throwing me more than I realise… and then of course there is the best man's speech at the wedding."

Lexie made a sympathetic face and looked up at him.

"So do you think he'll be over the 'speaking about himself in the third party' thing by then?" asked Lexie hopefully.

EJ didn't answer - just held up both hands showing her that his fingers were crossed and made a bravely optimistic face. Lexie couldn't help but laugh at him and shook her head. EJ broke into a grin then and then suddenly grabbed her, pulling her into a bear hug.

"Thank you," he said against her ear, "You're still my favourite sister."

"And still your only one," she reminded him with a laugh, "Don't worry EJ, I'll take good care of Sami."

"I know you will," said EJ, kissing her cheek, "I…"

EJ stopped abruptly then as he caught sight of John again, acting suspiciously off in the distance. He squinted and tried to focus.

"Oh god," groaned EJ as he straightened up and loosened his hold on Lexie, "What has he got now?"

Lexie turned around to see John further on down the hall, wheeling his latest contraband down the hallway.

"I'd better go and sort out the artful dodger over there," sighed EJ, "Before he tries to cram a vending machine down his pants and take it home with us."

Lexie giggled at that and EJ looked at her, giving a rueful smile.

"You're only laughing because you think he wouldn't do that," cautioned EJ, "Take it from someone who knows Alexandra… that is completely on the cards!"

"My poor little brother," she laughed up at him, "You do have your hands full don't you?"

"My cup over flowth," agreed EJ in quiet resignation and then frowned as he saw John starting to make off with drip stand now, "PUT THAT BACK UNCLE!"

"I'd better go and sort this out," said EJ urgently as John simply picked up his pace with the drip stand that was conveniently on wheels and was heading determinedly towards the elevator.

EJ just prayed John hadn't stolen it from some poor unsuspecting coma patient and whatever was in the drip bag had been keeping the person alive! He looked down at the twins and smiled at Lexie hopefully.

"Do you mind?" he asked her, nodding at the twins.

"No," she smiled up at him, "Go and get him."

EJ gave her a quick thank you kiss and then Lexie watched her brother bolt down the hallway after their possibly demented and most certainly kleptomaniac uncle and shook her head, smiling down at her nephew and niece lovingly.

"You, my darlings," she informed them with great affection, "Are never going to have a dull moment growing up in this family."

This thought seemed to please Ali and Johnny no end and they grinned up at their aunt, making happy little noises.


	68. Chapter 68

**Chapter SIXTY EIGHT**

**Three Days Until The Wedding… **

**THE BACHELOR/BACHELORETTE PARTIES…**

EJ straightened up and turned around. A sudden loud bang resonated throughout the confined space. He stumbled backwards at the impact, his back hitting the wall behind him hard as he felt the explosion in his chest and the sudden pain. EJ looked down at his chest and saw the quickly expanding red patch staining the front of his shirt. He looked up in disbelief, trying to work out what had just happened.

"You… you shot me," he gasped the accusation, his voice strained and uneven.

His assailant just shrugged and looked unconcerned, the gun still pointed at EJ chest. Joseph meanwhile had been standing over in the corner of the room had seen the whole thing, his eyes wide in horror. The gunman turned his head and looked Joseph square in the eye. Joseph screeched and without a backwards glance at EJ bolted from the room as though the devil himself was after him. He ran out the front door and into the night tearing down the side of the house and straight into the arms of Roman Brady who was coming the other way with Steve Johnson just behind him. Roman made a grunting sound as Joseph ran into him full pelt.

"Joe!" said Roman in complaint as he untangled himself from the other man, "What are you doin' pardner?"

Joe meanwhile was beside himself. He stared at Roman and Steve, his eyes as wide as saucers and his eyebrows arched so high up on his forehead that they were dangerously close to becoming his new hair line.

"What's wrong?" asked Roman, seeing that he was clearly distressed, "Did somethin' happen Joe?"

Joe's mouth was wide open but no sound was coming out as he just flapped his arms about frantically, hopping from one foot to the other, clearly distressed. Roman and Steve exchanged glances as the display.

"You may want to try and use words there Lassie," Steve informed him straight faced, "I suck at charades…"

Steve pointed casually to his eye patch.

"… no depth perception," he said conversationally.

Joseph made a few strangled sounds at that and then managed to regain some vague command of the English language.

"EJ shot!" he hissed dramatically, his arms still flapping wildly and tried again, this time with adverbs, "EJ's been shot!"

"Damn it!" growled Roman, his jaw hardening as he reached for his gun and then looked at the still panicking Joseph, "Where is he Joe?"

**oooOOOOooo**

**THREE HOURS PREVIOUSLY…**

EJ opened the door of the DiMera mansion and smiled warmly to see who was standing there.

"Tony, Anna!" he exclaimed, giving them both warm hugs in turn as they walked in the door, "It's so good to see you both."

"And you little brother," smiled Tony, walking into the foyer and pulling his gloves off as he did.

'I'm so glad you both were able to come back early from Italy," smiled EJ at them, "The wedding wouldn't have been the same without you both."

"Of course we'd come back for yours and Sami vow renewals," said Anna as EJ helped her out of her fur coat, "We wouldn't have missed it for the world. Besides, I wanted to spend Christmas with family this year."

"Aren't I family enough for you darling?" asked Tony with a bit of a pout.

"Family I actually like," clarified Anna flatly, giving him an unhappy look.

"She's in a mood with me," commented Tony to EJ, looking very unfazed by that fact.

"I'm not in a mood!" huffed Anna, "And even if I were I would have a perfectly good reason to be!"

"I wouldn't let her bring Clarisse back with us for the trip home," said Tony casually.

"Clarisse?" questioned EJ curiously.

"I've a bought a dog," smiled Anna, her face lighting up, "She is the most gorgeous little Pomeranian."

"It's what a real dog would dislodge from its throat when it gave a decent cough," commented Tony dryly, "A piece of naval lint with attitude."

EJ put his hand to his face to hide the grin his brother's words had caused, sensing Anna would be less than appreciative of his amusement.

"Don't you dare talk about my baby like that!" exclaimed Anna, glaring at him in annoyance, "You just haven't taken the time to bond with her yet!"

"Every time I get near her she tries to savage me," complained Tony dryly, "She's a biter."

Tony looked over at Anna then and gave her a mischievous look then.

"Just as well I like that in my women," he said calmly, "What do you say my dear?"

"I say you better get used to liking your women in a different bed to you if you don't stop being such a pig," sniffed Anna, not prepared to forgive him just yet.

EJ and Tony exchanged pointed looks, silently sharing the plight that was loving highly strung women.

"So where are those gorgeous babies of yours?" asked Anna brightly, changing the subject.

"They are up in their room with Samantha," he told her with the smile the mention of his children always bought to his face, "She's putting them to bed before everyone arrives for the parties. Why don't you head on up Anna, I'm sure she and the twins will be happy to see you."

"I might just do that," said Anna with a smile and headed off up the stairs in search of the twins.

"Drink?" asked EJ to his brother and Tony nodded as they walked into the sitting room.

"God yes," he sighed, "It was a long trip."

"It's good of you to come practically from the airport Tony," commented EJ as he poured Tony a drink and handed it to him.

"It's my little brother's bachelor party," said Tony, taking the offered drink, "Belated as it may be so how could I miss that? And Anna could never bear the thought of missing out on a party."

"I wish I could miss out on it," said EJ and sighed heavily, the feeling of dread in the pit of his stomach growing with every passing minute that bought the actual party closer.

"John's organising it isn't he?" asked Tony with some amusement, examining the despondent look on his brother's face with interest.

"Yes," said EJ flatly, "And Nicole is organising Samantha's party… truth be told I don't know which thought terrifies me more."

Tony took a sip from his glass to hide the smile on his face. The look on EJ's face was so distressed at the thought of these parties that it was hard not to be amused by it.

"I'm sure it will all come out in the wash," said Tony, trying to be supportive and not simply start laughing, "After all, how bad can it really get? You will have the stalwarts of the Salem community at both parties tonight. I can't see Caroline Brady getting naked and dancing on the pool table somehow."

EJ frowned at that mental image but shook his head.

"You'd be surprised," he said dryly, "Things seem to have a habit of getting out of control when Nicole and Samantha are in the same room. The last time the police turned out and the two times previously the paramedics had to be called! It hardly gives one overflowing confidence that this will be a quiet soiree somehow. And don't even get me started on our uncle!"

"Well this promises to be a night for the record books then," smiled Tony, still thinking EJ was exaggerating somewhat with his concerns.

"If not for the local newspaper and CNN," agreed EJ morosely.

**oooOOOOooo**

An hour and a half later everyone had arrived for the parties – Roman, Bo and Hope, Steve and Kayla, Mickey and Maggie, Tony and Anna, Abe and Lexie, Chelsea and Daniel but again separately, Caroline, Nicole, Emily, Joseph, Tracy and of course the members of the DiMera household – Marlena, John, Rolf and Eric. The foyer and sitting room were full with the party guests and Nicole was buzzing around, setting up for the Bachelorette party which was going to be at the mansion while the men were apparently going to be whisked off by John to destinations unknown still. Rolf had been serving his famous cheese balls and drinks while everyone mingled. EJ had tried his best to get out of John what he'd planned but it was all to no avail. He had no idea what John's plans were for the evening and was trying to convince himself ignorance was bliss. Sami had just finished talking to Maggie and had turned around so EJ took his opportunity, walking up to her.

"So," said EJ smiling brightly and looking down at Sami, "Sweetheart, were you planning on umm… imbibing at all during this party?"

EJ tried to make the question sound casual but it was unlikely he was pulling it off as flashes of the last time Nicole was let loose around Sami seared through his brain.

"I'm not going to be drinking EJ," said Sami flatly, "I'm going to be stone cold sober the whole night, I promise."

"Oh right," said EJ, the relief evident on his face, "Well I wasn't really worried anyway sweetheart."

"Yeah you don't look worried," Sami noted wryly at the obvious anxiety on his face.

"I'm sure it will be an incident free night," said EJ, trying to convince himself more than Sami at this point, "I mean, for one thing there isn't even going to be any men there once we all leave."

"Yet," said Nicole as she swept by, intent on organising some last minute details.

"Excuse me?" said EJ, suddenly tensing and grabbing her arm to stop Nicole for continuing on, "What was that?"

"I said 'nyet'," repeated Nicole casually, smiling up at him all innocence, "You know EJ - the Russian word for no."

EJ didn't look very convinced by that explanation but Nicole just smiled sweetly and sailed off.

"Are you planning on drinking EJ?" asked Sami, eyeing him suspiciously now.

"Oh no," said EJ with a quick shake of his head, "I have this dreadful feeling that I'm going to need all my wits about me tonight – no alcohol to slow down the reflexes as it were."

EJ stopped then and looked over at John standing with Tracy, Emily, Mickey and Bo. His uncle was wearing a decidedly happy expression which always gave EJ a deep sense of impending doom… and usually with good reason. EJ looked back at Sami and felt his stomach turn over nervously for what might be in store for him tonight.

"Although I'm planning to get pretty hammered once it's all over," he commented stoically, "I have a feeling I'll be needing to destroy a fair few brain cells at the end of all this… particularly ones involved in storing short term memories."

"Oh well," sighed Sami fatalistically, "It will all be over in a couple more hours and then we'll only have the horror of John's wedding speech to get through."

Truth be told she'd regretted instantly asking Nicole to organise her party but she was trying to stick it to EJ so in the process she'd cut off her nose to spite her face. However, whilst Sami was vaguely nervous about her party she was near beside herself at what EJ's party might have in store for him. EJ and Sami exchanged a look fraught with trepidation before they both burst out laughing.

"I'm not sure this level of fear should be warranted for something as simple as a Bachelor and Bachelorette parties," noted EJ with wry amusement.

"John does give new meaning to the words 'living on the edge'," agreed Sami with a rueful laugh.

EJ saw Nicole out of the corner of his eye and decided a quiet word was in order.

"Excuse me darling," he said, bending down and giving her cheek a quick kiss, "Just have to see to a last minute detail."

Sami smiled and nodded becoming distracted as Joseph, Tracy and Emily walked up to her. EJ meanwhile had cornered Nicole in the other room, intent on giving out a few guidelines about tonight.

"Oh I know that look," said Nicole with a roll of her eyes, "Hello Debbie – how's the rest of the Downer family – well I hope?"

"Amusing," said EJ with an expression that suggested he didn't find it any such thing, "Nicole… about this party… need I remind you that Samantha and mine's wedding is in three days."

"No," she said casually, "I've got my wedding invitation up on the refrigerator – I know when it is."

EJ frowned, not exactly sure Nicole had managed to get on the guest list but that was a problem for another day.

"And I would like me bride to be intact when that day arrives," continued on EJ determinedly, "Intact and preferably not in prison – do you understand what I'm saying to you Nicole?"

"Did you always used to be this uptight?" asked Nicole, ignoring his question and regarding him dubiously, "I don't remember you being this tightly wound when we first met. That Sami sure has done a number on you hasn't she?"

"Nicole," said EJ, keeping his tone civil but barely, "Did you hear what I just said."

"I heard you," she shrugged and then looked him up and down and gave a shake of her head, "Wow you are really worried about this aren't you councillor?"

"I think your past history with Samantha gives me a perfect right to be," he reminded her grimly, "I just don't want a repeat performance with this party Nicole."

"There won't be," she said blithely and then gave him a bit of a smirk, "I hate to repeat myself – I try and keep if fresh and creative."

"No," said EJ with a shake of his head and a scowl, "Not fresh, not creative. Samantha's mother and _grand_mother are here! Our children are sleeping upstairs – I don't want some debauched party going on down here at the same time!"

"I hope you're giving this same talk to 'Man without a Clue' over there," huffed Nicole, not liking to be told what to do by anyone.

"Why?" asked EJ quickly, leaning in towards her, "Do you know something about what my uncle has organised Nicole?"

"I know that I should be the least of your worries honey," she said knowingly and EJ grimaced, not sure if he wanted that to be true or not.

"Just behave yourself tonight Nicole," he said sternly, "Please."

"I like it when you beg EJ," Nicole informed him with a grin, "It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside."

"Just make sure nothing gets out of hand," he told her, unamused, "Or I'm going to make sure your _destitute_ and _homeless_ outside with this appeal Victor has just lodged about your settlement."

"You don't play fair," pouted Nicole unhappily.

"Not when it suits me better not to," agreed EJ grimly and gave her a pointed look, "I'm warning you Nicole…"

**oooOOOOooo**

Lexie walked up to EJ and put her hand on his back and smiled up at him.

"How goes it little brother?" she asked him affectionately, seeing the stressed look on EJ's face.

"Like a lamb to the slaughter," replied EJ straight faced.

"It will all be over soon," smiled Lexie, amused by his pessimism.

"Samantha and I were commenting on the exact same thing," said EJ and gave a little laugh before becoming more serious.

He took Lexie's arm and led her over into a more out of the way corner, ducking his head and talking to her in a low voice, keeping their conversation private.

"So have Samantha's lab results come back yet?" he asked her, his brown eyes suddenly dark with concern.

"EJ," said Lexie gently, "Samantha is my patient and I can't really discuss her results with you unless she gives me permission to do so but I will tell you that I haven't received any of her lab work back yet."

EJ frowned, understanding about professional ethics but this was Samantha they were talking about and this was his sister, surely there could be some leeway? It was a moot point anyway EJ supposed as there were no results to be discussed yet.

"I'll be in contact with Sami as soon as I have any results at all," Lexie tried to comfort him, seeing the quietly worried look on his face, "And I'm sure Sami will discuss them with you as soon as I do – not that there is probably even going to be anything to discuss in the first place EJ. I'm sure that everything will be fine – try and stop worrying."

"I love her so much Lexie," said EJ in quiet desperation, "I can't help it."

"I know you do EJ," said Lexie, putting an arm around him and giving him a quick comforting squeeze.

**oooOOOOooo**

John had just announced that it was time to go and for people to start getting ready so EJ sought out Sami in amongst the crowd.

"Well this is it," sighed EJ despondently, looking longingly at Sami as he picked up both of her hands in his and looked deeply into her eyes, "I love you Samantha, I always have and I always will – in this life and the next."

"Oh EJ," laughed Marlena in gentle amusement as EJ's theatrics, "You make it sound like you're heading off to war!"

"_All the men assemble beside the army tank outside - we're going to go now!"_

John's announcement was called out over the top of everyone's talking. EJ gave Marlena a pointed look at that and she made a rueful face.

"I take your point EJ," she nodded and then gave him an encouraging smile, "Good luck."

Sami grabbed his arm then and looked up at him kind of desperately.

"Don't you die EJ!" she exclaimed, her anxiety level high now as the moment was finally upon them, "Or I will KILL you!"

_Sami would think back on those flippant words later and wonder if she'd had some kind of premonition about where the night was going to end up._

"Message received and understood Mrs DiMera," said EJ with a quirk of his lips.

"Don't panic sis," said Eric, coming up and slapping EJ on the back, "Joseph, Tracy and I are going to be EJ's wing men tonight."

"Oh great," said Sami, clearly not reassured by Eric's words, "My husband's fate is in the hands of the three stooges!"

The men had all started to file out of the house then and EJ leant down and kissed Sami hard, leaving them both breathless at the end of it.

"Come on Romeo," said Eric with a grin, grabbing EJ's arm and starting to drag him away, "Destiny awaits."

"I love you EJ!" called out Sami with a big smile as EJ was almost at the door, walking backwards as now Tracy had appeared and was holding onto his other arm, both he and Eric forcing him back towards the front door determinedly.

"I love you too!" he called out, just as he was going through the door flanked by the other two men who were facing forwards to EJ's backwards.

Just before EJ was completely through the door though he had one more thing to say.

"Don't kiss anyone tonight!" he begged her but before Sami could answer Nicole appeared at her shoulder.

"Sami's not going to make promises she can't keep!" Nicole informed him blithely.

"What?!" squawked EJ as Eric and Tracy dragged him away.


	69. Chapter 69

**Chapter SIXTY NINE**

All the men were standing by John's tank, most of them checking it out as this was the closest they'd ever been to the real deal and the general consensus was that it was pretty cool… odd… but cool. Eric caught EJ looking worriedly over at the house yet again as he was already well acquainted with said tank and didn't find it quite as interesting as all the rest of the guests.

"Relax bro," said Eric with a shake of his head, "Nicole was just yanking your chain. Sami isn't going to be kissing anyone tonight – it's all women and most of them she's related to."

"I know," said EJ but didn't look reassured, "But knowing Nicole…"

EJ trailed off then, biting on his lower lip worriedly.

"Yeah," nodded Eric with a sigh, "She's a bad un, no mistake."

"We're just waiting on Rolf," John informed then all.

He looked around then and frowned.

"ROLF!"

Rolf heard his name being screeched out from all the way inside the house and rolled his eyes.

"Zo you vill not touch anyzing in zis cupboard?" asked Rolf for the third time in a row and now Nicole rolled her eyes.

"Chill Lurch," she said in exasperation, "No one is touching your precious cupboard. I've got this party all organised and we don't need anything from the kitchen other than running water and ice."

Rolf frowned, not completely convinced. He'd become quite territorial about the kitchen as he spent a fair amount of time in there and didn't enjoy the thought of the likes of Nicole Walker touching his things.

"Just get out of here Rolf," said Nicole, shooing him away, "This is women's business… no men allowed and certainly not creepy, foreign, mad scientists."

"But…" Rolf went to protest but then there came John's voice again.

"ROLF!"

"Sounds like someone wants you even if we don't," Nicole noted with a smirk, "Later toots."

Rolf gave up and walked out of the kitchen, grumbling bad things about Nicole under his breath in Austrian.

"_Geistlos lockere Frauenperson!"_

As he walked by the phone foyer rang and he stopped out of habit to answer it.

"Ya?" he said into the receiver and then frowned, "Oh… nein… if you can't meet uz now Roman you'll have to meet uz zere… I vill give you za address…"

Rolf proceeded to give Roman their final destination for that night and then hung up, heading out to where the rest of the men had assembled. He thought he'd seen Roman earlier but he must have been called away for some reason. Oh well, meeting them all there wouldn't be a problem seeing as John had organised a mini bus to get the rest of them to where they were going. A mini bus that Rolf had been informed that he was driving. Rolf was the only person besides John who knew what was happening tonight and despite EJ's best attempt no one had been able to get anything out of him.

"Finally," growled John when Rolf joined them, "Did you do a quick trip home to Australia or something?"

"Auztria John," corrected Rolf patiently, "I keep telling you I'm Auztrian not Auztralian!"

"Same thing," dismissed John easily with a wave of his hand.

"I doubt the Venetian Boys Choir or Dame Edna Everege would agree with you there Uncle," noted EJ wryly.

"Ve should get going John," Rolf reminded him, "Our booking iz for zeven zirty remember?"

"I'm not the one malingering," huffed John, "It's you!"

"Perhaps if we all just got on the bus?" suggested Mickey calmly.

"Good idea honey," said Joseph with a nod of his head and coming up to join them, "It's cold out here!"

He rubbed his arms to demonstrate his point and with Joseph leading the way the men began to climb onto the bus.

"Are they blind?" asked John suddenly to EJ as they both boarded the minibus together.

"Are who blind?" asked EJ in confusion.

"The Venetian Boys Choir," John prompted him, "Do they just drop the blind part from title so everyone doesn't feel sorry for them?"

EJ blinked, trying to work out that one in his head. There seemed to be some confusion on John's behalf about what a Venetian blind actually was if he thought it made sense calling a boys choir after a window dressing. But then, the whole question was too bizarre to even have a hope of answering in any possible way. EJ looked at John, his expression not changing one iota.

"You can't sit next to me on the bus," he announced flatly and went and promptly took a seat in next to Mickey.

"I cannot _wait_ until he gets laid again," grumbled John at his nephew's inexplicable mood changes.

"Black Bear!" called out Joseph and patted the seat beside him, "Come keep me warm!"

"Can someone please explain that to me?" asked Bo with a raised eyebrow and a shake of his head as John dutifully joined Joseph, sitting beside him, "I'm not sure the old John would have had a friend like Joe."

"Well I guess he's been through a lot," shrugged Abe, "After what Stefano did to him it's hard to imagine any person ever being the same again."

"This John is way more fun if you want my opinion," commented Steve, settling in next to Daniel.

"So," said Tracy conversationally, looking at Eric as the other man took a seat next to him, "How much do you think this party is going to rock Eric?"

"A lot Tracy," noted Eric perfectly straight faced and serious, "In fact I have high hopes it's going to R-O-C-K."

"Wow," nodded Tracy, maintaining his serious demeanour as well, "It's been a long time since I've been to a party that you have to spell."

"Not so much for me," said Eric poker faced, "Sami and mine's birthday party was off da H-O-O-K!"

"You know I've heard tell of that," mused Tracy seriously and then looked at Eric, breaking with their game as he grinned suddenly, "Although I've never heard the story properly yet… exactly how did the flamingo get onto the chandelier in the first place?

The bus trip was uneventful but instead of taking them to a restaurant or even a bar as EJ had assumed they made a few turns and then seemed to get well and truly off the beaten track. The mood in the bus was quite jovial, well except for EJ who was mentally putting all his affairs in order in his head of course. The bus stopped then and John ordered them off the bus and the men dutifully filed off the bus, congregating in front of it and looking around in confusion.

"Well this is…" Eric paused to choose the appropriate word.

"Insane, unsettling, disconcerting?" offered up Bo who was standing to his right and shaking his head.

"I was going to say unexpected," mused Eric calmly and then looked at the other man, "But your adjectives work too Uncle Bo."

**oooOOOOooo**

"You… you shot me!" gasped EJ, gasped the accusation, his voice strained and uneven.

Both men turned and looked as Joseph screamed and bolted out of the room like a scalded cat.

EJ looked back at the gunman, his lips pressed together in annoyance as he straightened up, rubbing his chest where the red paint pellet had hit him rather painfully.

"You're my _uncle_," he informed John unhappily.

John looked unfazed by that.

"This is _my_ bachelor party!" complained EJ when John didn't react at all.

"So," shrugged John casually, "_I'm_ not marrying you."

"We're on the _same team _Uncle John!" EJ said in exasperation, walking over to where John was standing.

John considered that and then shrugged again.

"Totally worth it," he concluded and then pouted at EJ, "Besides you shot me Nephew."

"I did no such thing!" exclaimed EJ heatedly.

"In the boat house," John corrected him.

"Oh for the love of Pete," growled EJ, rubbing his chest again - that had really hurt at such close range, "Are you not over that yet? You don't even remember it Uncle John!"

"My feelings are still hurt though," sniffed John.

Roman, Steve and Joseph appeared at the door then, interrupting the other two men's discussion. Roman shook his head to see the paint stain on EJ's coveralls.

"So do you think it counts when your own team member shoots you?" asked Steve conversationally, "Are you still in EJ or are you 'dead' now?"

"I have no idea," said EJ with a roll of his eyes before looking at John, "Any ideas uncle?"

"Sure," said John straight faced, "If you wear glasses I think that cars should come with the entire windshields actually made up to that prescription so you don't have to wear glasses when you're driving."

All the men silently regarded John after that statement until EJ blew out a despairing breath.

"Any ideas about the rules of the game Uncle John," clarified EJ stoically, "Not just ideas in general."

"Although," shrugged Steve, "Not for nothing… I kind of like your idea there John."

"It's an insane idea Steve," said EJ with a shake of his head, "No one but the person with that prescription for their eyes could ever drive the car!"

"Thus cutting down on the number of automobile thefts," said John quietly triumphant, "Convenient _and_ affecting a downward trend in the overall crime rate."

"My man's got the angles covered," said Steve straight faced, nodding his head in agreement.

"Steven," said EJ looking decidedly unimpressed, "I'll thank you not to encourage my uncle in his alternate realities."

"Like yours is so great!" snorted John.

"Can we circle the wagons here fellas?" asked Roman with a shake of his head.

"Romy's right," agreed Joseph emphatically, "The blue team could already have found the Austrian strudel and run off with him and meanwhile we don't even know where the other half of our team is!"

"Joe's right," nodded Roman and then looked over at Joseph, "But don't call me Romy."

"Ro Ro?" asked Joseph hopefully.

"No," said Roman flatly.

"The Commish?" Joseph tried again brightly, not to be put off.

EJ and Steve exchanged glances.

"Big Daddy Brady?" said Joseph determinedly when Roman didn't look thrilled by that one either, "Oh oh oh - we could call you BDB for short!"

"Give in Roman," EJ advised him wisely, "Otherwise we'll be here all night."

**[align=center]oooOOOOooo[/align]**

_Forty minutes previously EJ and the others had alighted from the bus at the Salem Paint Ball range. EJ had turned to his uncle and arched and eyebrow._

"_I thought about it and decided to go with a theme," John had informed him calmly._

"_A paint ball theme?" asked EJ in bemusement._

"_More of along the lines of a shooting theme," John corrected him, "You shot me then you were shot at your own wedding… I thought there was a nice sense of continuity to it all."_

"_And that's why you're not a wedding planner John," said Eric cheerfully as he'd listened in, "That kind of straight line thinking I just don't think the party planning community is ready for."_

"_So we're going to play paint ball?" said EJ, feeling himself begin to relax a little._

_All in all it could have been a lot worse he supposed._

"_Yup," nodded John with a self satisfied look on his face, "Brady's against DiMera's and well just divide the others up between us to even things out."_

_EJ exchanged looks with the other men there and then looked back at John with an unimpressed look._

"_Don't think that's the greatest idea there John," commented Roman straight faced and his brother looked at him and had to agree._

"_I'm kind of with Roman on this one," agreed Bo._

"_Why?" pouted John, not seeing what all the fuss was about. _

"_Seeing as we've all been working towards ending this ridiculous vendetta started by my father for some time now," began EJ with a look of censure at John, "And given the somewhat complicated nature of our combined family histories Uncle John - not least of which the fact that you and I, Tony and Steve have all been on both sides of that particular fence on more than one occasion I don't really see that being a very good idea."_

"_Someone has to tell me that story!" exclaimed Joseph, able to sniff out scandal and intrigue from a mile away._

"_It's a doozey alright," agreed Eric with a roll of his eyes, "Some thirty years of bad blood."_

"_Oh my!" said Joseph, jumping up and down in excitement now, "A family feud, decades of saga… it's just like 'Days Of Our Loves'!"_

"_With a better wardrobe department," agreed Eric straight faced._

"_You know I've always been an "Obsessions" man myself," commented Tracy idly, "Loved that Dex Dane character."_

"_Why don't we just divide people up evenly regardless of previous affiliations eh Uncle?" suggested EJ, oblivious to the side conversation going on, "It would be far simpler and infinitely less controversial."_

_John didn't look overly happy with that but agreed. Most of the men weren't really dressed for the occasion but management provided coveralls and protective glasses to all the players so that wasn't really a problem. It was actually set up quite cleverly with an old house in the middle of a clearing, forest surrounding it and the general idea was for one team to try retrieve a marker that was set out somewhere in the grounds and the other team was to do what it took to stop them. Once you were hit with a paint ball anywhere that could be considered a fatal shot, like the head, chest, stomach or back then you were considered 'dead' and out of the game. _

_After a little backing and forthing where Daniel and Tracy as suitably neutral captains were decided upon. It ended up with the red team composing of Daniel, John, EJ, Roman, Steve and Joseph and the blue team was made up of Tracy, Bo, Mickey, Eric, Abe and Tony. This left only Rolf left over who was very happy to sit out but John would have none of that. After wrangling with the owners of the range a little John got his way and Rolf was now the 'marker' that the blue team was after. Rolf had been none too pleased about this but had little say in it. It added to the challenge a little to have something to retrieve that was on the move John informed them all happily. So once everyone was dressed appropriately, paint guns handed out with red paint for the red team and blue paint for blue team of course the two groups went away to strategise privately. _

_Let the games begin…_


	70. Chapter 70

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****: **Hope everyone is having fun at the party guys. LOL It's always a challenge to write for so many different characters at once, make if flow and have sense and have it snapping along as well. I don't know if I've completely managed it but I gave it a red hot go. LOL As you've probably guessed I love dialogue – it's my favourite part of writing usually and I just love all the family and friend ties and the history between all of these characters that if you've been a long time Days watcher like me (however erratically – like me) then you feel like you know these characters and all of the little in jokes – hopefully.

The fun and games keep on coming as we are only about half way through the BP and there is plenty more to go. Can I just say though that this is the kind of Nicole that I enjoy – devil may care, smart mouthed, a vague booze hound. I love the frenemies thing she and Sami have going on. I don't really care for them being 'real' friends like they are on the show right now. Both characters have the capacity to be so over the top and out there and I find the current s/l's where they are so boringly real and earnest – well, boring really. I love them being true to their bitchy, smart mouthed, impulsive selves and even though I'm writing Sami as having matured I don't want to ever have her lose that crazy that I always loved about her. LOL

Hope you have fun at the bachelorette party now... ;)

**Chapter SEVENTY**

The bachelorette party was in full swing by now as well and to her surprise Sami was actually enjoying herself. Nicole certainly had a way about her that seemed to bring a party to life and Sami wasn't the only one having fun. Sami wasn't exactly sure but somehow Nicole had managed to talk everyone into playing a game of 'Have You Ever…?' which they were currently in the middle of. The rules were simple, everyone stood up and then Nicole would ask a question and if you answered no to the question you would sit down. It had seemed innocent enough in the beginning but under Nicole's guidance the questions had quickly taken a decidedly adult turn.

"Have you ever done it in a car?" Nicole asked the women and only Chelsea sat down at that much to her mother's approval and a few raised eyebrows at the rest of the women.

"Have you ever had sex in a public place?" asked Nicole cheekily, quite enjoying getting an insight to the lives of these supposedly upright members of Salem society.

"Nicole!" complained Sami, looking around her at the other women, "Maybe we should play another game now."

"But this one is just getting good my dear," protested Emily with an amused look on her face, "But I do have a question Nicole… define public place?"

"You know," shrugged Nicole, "Like a park or a garden or a shopping centre or a gym…"

Kayla, Billie, Lexie, and Hope sat down but Sami, Emily, Caroline, Maggie, Marlena and Anna all remained standing.

"I guess a bowling alley counts then," commented Caroline straight faced, remaining standing.

Hope arched her eyebrows at her mother in law betting Bo didn't know that particular detail about his parents and doubting that he would want to.

"The courthouse for me," offered up Maggie calmly.

"And here was I thinking that would be such a dull place to work," said Emily with a light laugh.

"Not when you bring your husband lunches to work and he needs to relieve a little of that built up tension," said Maggie knowingly.

"Wow Maggie," grinned Chelsea, "You and Mickey really rocked it in your day huh?"

"It was last Thursday," Maggie informed her with a little smile, "And yes we did… and still do… rock it Chelsea."

"Who knew?" giggled Billie to the other women sitting down.

"I think this evening might traumatise me for life," commented Chelsea casually, not sounding overly concerned by that concept.

"Those DiMera men huh?" grinned Anna at Sami and Marlena with a cheeky wink, "They sure know how to talk you into things."

Sami's cheeks went bright red at that and didn't answer and both Marlena and Sami avoided looking each other in the eye. Sami already knew at least one public place that John and she had availed themselves of - the board room table and she just prayed that her mother would never find out about any of her exploits!

"Alrighty then," said Nicole with a grin, "We seem to be on a roll here - let's take it to the next level. How about this then - who's had sex with other people in the room?"

Sami groaned internally remembering that time with EJ and her in the Brady Pub and Lucas sitting a few feet away and then there was the picking out of china pattern when EJ's hands had gone a wandering and then in the elevator with all those people but then there hadn't been actual sex she supposed but in all good conscience she couldn't really sit down. Maggie and Marlena did sit down though leaving Sami, Emily, Anna and Caroline standing.

"So I'm a people person," shrugged Anna unrepentantly as Maggie arched an amused eyebrow at her.

"Grandma!" exclaimed Sami in amazement as Caroline remained standing and Kayla wasn't too far behind her.

"Mom!" she said in shock and Caroline just smiled back at them calmly.

"I notice you're still standing dear," pointed out Caroline sagely to which Sami blushed furiously again.

"Yes but…" she began to protest but her grandmother interrupted.

"Now Sami," she said with a shake of her head, "It's not like you and EJ invented sex you know?"

"But if even half the stories I've heard are true then they're intent on perfecting it," noted Emily, tongue in cheek.

"Emily!" said Sami in horror.

"What kind of stories?" asked Chelsea cheekily, really enjoying herself now - it was nice to feel like she wasn't the baddest girl in the room for a change.

"Never you mind!" huffed Sami and glared at Nicole, "This game is over Nicole!"

"But we're just up to the food questions now," protested Nicole, like Chelsea she was enjoying not being the worst of the worst for a change although truth be told if she wasn't asking the questions she'd be still standing anyway.

"Food?" asked Sami sceptically, thinking that sounded like a safer topic.

"Yup," said Nicole happily, "Who here has used food to spice things up a bit in the bedroom?!"

"Clearly I'm going to be standing for a while to come yet," noted Emily straight faced.

"You and me both honey," nodded Caroline and both women grinned at each other.

The two had struck up a friendship over the last few months and it turned out they had a lot in common, not least of which it appeared an active and adventurous sex life up until when they were both widowed. Sami meanwhile was feeling the situation rapidly getting out of control and when she heard the phone ring she practically bolted for it.

"I'll get it!" she cried out, already hurrying out to the foyer and picking it up, happy to have an excuse to be out of the game for a while.

"I guess I'll go and check on the refreshments," said Nicole with a shrug, not wanting to miss out on grilling Sami some more.

She had a lot more questions where they came from!

Sami picked up the phone.

"Hello?" she said into the receiver.

"Oh hello," said the voice on the other end, "This is Monique from the agency just calling to check that our model has arrived yet."

"I'm sorry?" said Sami, giving a confused frown, "I think you might have the wrong number."

"But this is the number I was given," said the other woman, "This is the DiMera residence isn't it?"

"Yes," said Sami, her frown deepening, "I'm sorry but exactly what kind of agency are you calling from again?'

"The Bouncing Booty Agency," replied Monique smoothly, "We specialise in supplying exotic dancers to various functions and…"

"You mean strippers?" said Sami flatly, interrupting the woman, her face darkening as she realised what was going on here.

_She was going to KILL John with her bare hands!_

"Well we prefer exotic dancers," said Monique, "But yes, strippers."

_Forget the bare hands thing… she was going to dig out her spork and just go for broke!_

"The party isn't here," said Sami through clenched teeth and then suddenly realised she had to put a stop to it - there was no way in hell that EJ was going to be looking at anyone's boobs but hers _ever_ again!

"Oh yes, I'm sorry," said Monique and it sounded like she was checking her notes, "It seems that our model was given an alternate location to meet at."

"I bet," growled Sami, knowing even John wouldn't be silly enough to have a stripper meet them here with all the wives to go onto whatever else he had planned, "Sorry Monique but do you have the address of where your… um… _model_ was sent to?"

"I'm sorry," said Monique after Sami heard some more rustling of paper, "We don't seem to have that information."

"That's fine," said Sami shortly, "I'm sure I'll be able to work it out for myself."

Sami hung up then without even saying goodbye, in no mood for good manners right now.

"What is it honey?" asked Marlena with a worried look as Sami walked back into the room.

"Oh nothing Mom," said Sami with sarcasm, "Just a little thing about _your_ husband organising a hooker for _my_ husband tonight!"

"I'm sure John would never…" Marlena trailed off then and grimaced, rubbing the back of her neck.

Nowadays she could never really say she knew anything for sure about John.

"Oh," she said and looked a bit embarrassed on John's behalf and then she thought about it some more and became annoyed, "OH!"

"Oh is right Mom!" said Sami in annoyance, "We're all here playing nicely together meanwhile our husbands are getting the movie "Showgirls" played out for them in the flesh!"

"They'd better not be," said Kayla flatly, "Or that husband of mine is going to lose the other eye!"

"Yeah well Bo won't be having any matching parts on his body either once I'm done with him if I find that he's been ogling some stripper!" promised Hope grimly.

"Well Mickey is certainly going to be making his own lunches and taking up Tai Chi to relax if what you're saying is true Sami," agreed Maggie, a rather menacing look on her face.

"Abe knows better," said Lexie simply and then hoped that was true - he did kind of owe her one or two in that department after all!

Chelsea didn't say anything because no one knew about her and Dan and secreted a look at her own breasts, worrying that this stripper might have a bit more going on there and not being able to keep up with the competition so to speak. She and Daniel were still pretty new so there were a lot of insecurities she still had, not the least of which was other women who were closer to Dan's age.

"Well Tony had been unfaithful to me so many times now I kind of let this kind of thing slide usually," mused Anna thoughtfully, "But I'm still mad with him over Clarisse so what the hell! I'm sure I haven't punished him for all his indiscretions anyway so I may as well get a few hits in just to make sure. Besides, I've never been part of an angry mob before so that will fun."

"You and Tony have such a healthy thing going on don't you?" asked Chelsea straight faced.

"Oh honey," said Anna blithely with a wave of her hand, "When you've been around the block as many times as we have you've got to work at keeping it interesting."

"And trying to maim each other keeps it interesting?" asked Kayla sceptically, exchanging a look with Billie.

"If you do it right," nodded Anna with a self satisfied look, "Tony's got a few scars on him courtesy of a few of our fights… and even more from our making up from them."

"This is all great but meanwhile some woman is shaking her maracas at EJ!" interrupted Sami in frustration, "He's the supposed bachelor after all - that's what happens at these things!"

"I'm sure EJ would never allow that to happen dear," said Caroline, trying to calm down her granddaughter whom she could see was working herself up, "He loves you too much."

"He's a DiMera isn't he?" sniffed Anna with a roll of her eyes, looking at Sami, "Trust me, if they think they can get away with it they will! There is a fair amount of hound dog blood that runs through all DiMeras!"

"Thank you for that," frowned Lexie.

"Just the men honey," clarified Anna casually.

"Not from the stories _I've_ heard," said Nicole brightly as she walked back into the room which earned her a glare from Lexie which she wasn't particularly concerned about.

Nicole looked around at the women in various states of unhappiness and looked confused.

"What's all the hullabaloo about ladies?" she asked curiously, she'd only been gone a minute, what could have possibly happened.

"John hired a stripper for the bachelor party," growled Sami, getting angrier every time she thought about it.

"Now you don't know that for sure dear," said Emily with a shake of her head, "There may be a perfectly logical and simple explanation for all of this."

"This is John we're talking about Emily," Sami reminded her heatedly.

"Well maybe simple and logical were the wrong choice of words in that particular instance," conceded Emily with a little smile, "But why don't you simply ring the dear boy and find out from the horses mouth as it were."

Sami frowned, having not thought of that and then nodded.

"Good idea Emily," she said, reaching for her cell phone, "I think I'll do just that."

Sami dialled EJ's number while the rest of the women crowded around her, just as intent on finding out what was going as Sami was. It took EJ a couple of rings to answer and Sami didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

"_Hello?" _

Sami frowned, wondering why he was whispering like that.

"EJ it's me," she said brightly, trying to sound calm and act normally.

"_Oh sweetheart… hello… is everything alright?"_

He was still whispering but now he sounded decidedly out of breath and seemed very distracted.

"I was just seeing how your party is going?" she said, determinedly making herself sound cheerful.

"_Fine… great in fact…"_

There was a funny noise then and suddenly some more panting his end and Sami scowled, not liking the sound of this at all.

"_Darling this isn't a good time…"_

Sami opened her mouth to ask why the hell not but wasn't quick enough.

"_I'll see you later… love you."_

And with that EJ abruptly hung up. Sami's mouth dropped open as there was the sudden sound of the dial tone in her ear.

"He hung up on me!" exclaimed Sami in disbelief, staring at her cell phone as though it was its' fault somehow.

"What did he say?" asked Billie curiously, voicing the question all of them were wondering.

"That he was having a great time but it wasn't a good time to talk right then!" huffed Sami, her face set angrily, "And he was so out of breath I could barely understand him!"

"Oh with all the running he's been doing I would have thought his cardio fitness would have been up to a great deal more," mused Marlena idly, almost to herself, "But then it has been awhile for him in the bedroom department so maybe that would explain it."

"MOM!" screeched Sami at her usually discrete mother's tactless words.

"Oh sorry," said Marlena and had the grace to look a little chagrined at what she'd just said, "Sometimes I think that John has rubbed off on me a little too much."

"He has mentioned a fair amount of mutual rubbing," agreed Emily matter of factly.

She and John would often have discussions about various things and he was always more than happy to share his situation with Marlena in oft times vivid detail. Emily of course was unfazed and tried to gently steer him best she could into safer waters but was never concerned with John's sometimes confronting questions. Her motto was that the only silly question was an unasked one so she'd much rather have John ask her a question rather then Marlena be surprised in their next romantic interlude with something wildly inappropriate… which let's face it, a lot of his ideas were.

"Oh no!" gasped Marlena at this latest bit of information, "Don't tell me John's been talking about him and I and… and…"

"Of course he has Mom!" said Sami with a roll of her eyes, "John is the least discrete person I know and I know _her_!"

Sami jabbed a thumb over at Nicole when she said that.

"Hey!" protested Nicole unhappily, "At least I don't go around telling people that you used to be a man!"

"I am learning so much at this party," grinned Chelsea, "And to think I nearly didn't come."

"Just to get things back on topic here," interrupted Maggie, "Mickey isn't as young as he used to be and prolonged exposure to twenty something year old breasts might be the end of him so maybe we should just focus here. Sami - do you know where John has taken the men?"

"No," said Sami with an unhappy shake of her head and then looked at Marlena, "Mom?"

"No idea honey," said Marlena with a frown.

"So what do we do now?" asked Kayla looking around at them all, "We can hardly go and break up the fun and games if we don't know exactly where they are now can we?"

"Did John leave his phone here?" asked Anna suddenly and Marlena frowned.

"I think he did Anna," she nodded, going over to the desk drawer and opening it before pulling out John's cell phone and holding it up for everyone to see, "Here it is."

"He would have had to organise this whole thing so I'm sure the number of where ever this place is will be on his cell," said Anna reasonably, "Just scroll back and find something that looks like John would organise a bachelor party at."

"Wow Anna," said Lexie with an impressed nod of her head, "Quick thinking."

"Unfaithful husbands," she said simply, "They keep you on your toes and your head in the game."

"I don't have my glasses," said Marlena, squinting a little.

"Here," said Hope, holding out her hand, "I'll do it."

She took the phone from Marlena and began to scroll through the numbers.

"Salem Library," she read out the caller ID as she went, "Dino's Automotives, army supply shop…"

"Uh oh," said Sami under her breath, thinking about the tank in the back yard.

"Chuck E. Cheese…" continued on Hope and that caused a few exchanged glances, "… Boston Zoo…"

"Oh god," groaned Sami loudly, "What's he getting now?!"

"One crisis at a time Sami," said Emily calmly, "Stay on task."

"… a local taxidermist…" Hope read on.

"Okay now that _is_ worrying," said Maggie and there was general agreement from everyone on that point.

"Paint ball range…" Hope continued to scroll on down, "… Candle Making shop"

"Wait!" said Sami suddenly, "What was that last thing Aunt Hope, before the candle making thing?"

"A paint ball shooting range," said Hope, looking down at the little screen and frowning, "Do you think that's it?"

"It's either that or Chuck E. Cheese," said Marlena thoughtfully, "But I could see John being swayed by the thought of being able to shoot at things."

"That's were they are for sure," said Sami with great certainty all of a sudden.

"So what's the plan then?" asked Nicole brightly.

"Get the address Aunt Hope," said Sami grimly, "I've got somewhere I have to be!"

"I think we all have a vested interest in this Sami," said Kayla quickly, "I think we should all go."

"Alright," grinned Chelsea, "A posse!"

"Someone will have to stay and look after the twins," pointed out Billie reasonably and giving her daughter a pointed look.

"MOM!" squawked Chelsea and looking round, "Can't someone else do it?"

"Well they can't come with us," said Sami grimly, "I don't want them to witness their mother disembowelling their father!"

"I don't want to miss it either!" pouted Chelsea unhappily.

"I suppose I could stay," offered Billie with a shrug, "It's not like I've got a man out there to open a can of whoop tushy on."

"You're the best Mom!" said Chelsea and gave her a quick hug.

"If they wake up their bottles are in the fridge but it's unlikely they will," said Sami hastily as she began to grab her coat and put it on, "They're good sleepers."

"Don't worry," said Billie easily, "I've got your number just in case."

"Thanks Billie," said Sami distractedly, "I owe you one."

"Just take lots of pictures," grinned Billie, "I have a feeling it's going to be quite the show!"

"Here's hoping it isn't going to be a murder mystery kind of a show," said Caroline in a quiet aside to Emily.

"I think it's going to be good fun either way," noted Emily back to her.

Sami pulled on her coat and threw a scarf hastily round her neck, a determined look on her face. This whole time EJ had been worrying over what John was going to do to him and he should have been worrying about her Sami decided darkly.

EJ was drop dead gorgeous and _her_ husband and she wasn't going to stand for some hoochy mama to be shoving her humps into his face anytime soon. Sami had some prime real estate to protect.

And then when she was done with the tramp she was going to remind EJ exactly who he belonged to!

_Let the games begin…!_


	71. Chapter 71

**AUTHOR's NOTE: **I'm not sure who the 'anon's' are with the reviews but I'm loving how into the BP you sound. LOL Yes, things are lining up nicely for a bit of old fashion mayhem and I hope to deliver. ;) Barring anything too horrible happening in real life I will be able to keep the flow up and post everyday with this tale. There are still plenty of more chapters to go with the BP and we meet a new character in this chapter - kinda. Have fun with it... love Sami in full battle mode... :)

**Chapter SEVENTY ONE**

The bachelorette party was now on the road, the women car pooling and ending up only needing to take three cars.

"Slow down dear," said Emily mildly to Sami as their speed crept up, "We can't kill anyone if we're dead ourselves."

"Sorry," mumbled Sami and eased off the gas.

"So is that the plan?" asked Caroline brightly, "Killing them?"

"This is all John's fault!" fretted Sami, looking over at her mother, "What was he thinking?!"

"I doubt that anyone of us would be able to answer that question dear," said Emily wryly, "Whatever it was you can just bet that it isn't going to be a what you'd think he'd be thinking!"

"So how come you let him do stuff then?" asked Nicole looking at them a bit disdainfully.

"Well if you have some way of stopping him Nicole," huffed Sami, "I'm all ears!"

"My main concern is Joey," mused Emily thoughtfully, "I don't know if he's really up to dealing with full frontal female nudity – remember how he looked a bit squeamish when he saw Rolf stuffing that chicken? I don't see him handling female's breasts any better than chicken breasts somehow."

"No one had better be handling any kind of breasts at all!" said Sami heatedly, unconsciously speeding up, "What kind of person has a stripper at a party nowadays anyway? Just how lowest common denominator does John think we are?!"

Nicole didn't say anything to that, just looked out the window. Just as well the floor show she'd organised hadn't turned up after all if that was going to be Sami's attitude – lowest common denominator indeed! Looks like that pickle was well and truly lodged back up the old back passage mused Nicole, sneaking a quick look at Sami. However she did wonder why her booking for the colour and movement portion of the party that she'd planned never showed without so much as a phone call. She had half a mind to write a complaining letter or better still, sic EJ on them in his capacity as her lawyer for failure to provide the services paid for. It was damn lucky for The Bouncing Booty that EJ was unlikely to live through this night if the look on Sami's face was anything to go by otherwise they'd be looking down the barrel of a law suit from one very dissatisfied customer!

**oooOOOOooo**

After an initial hesitation the men had really started to get into the game much to Rolf's horror. His only game plan was to avoid everyone, regardless of what team they were on seeing as he was the only person in the game not given a paint gun. John had informed him as the target that he didn't need one but Rolf had argued that was exactly the reason why he did! In the end Rolf had been set loose for the blue team to try and track down and for the red team to stop them. EJ couldn't help but feel that it was no coincidence that John had ended up on the team that was on the offensive rather than the defensive and meant there was a greater likelihood of shooting someone. This was especially the case if you went about shooting your own team members at EJ had of course just found out.

Before being gunned down by his uncle Daniel had sent EJ, John and Joseph off to check on the house for Rolf while he, Steve and Roman scouted the surrounding forest area for the reluctant Austrian prize. The idea being if they could secure Rolf this would mean the blue team wouldn't be able to get to him and the red team could just pick them off one by one. It had sounded like a good idea in theory except for one little detail. It turned out that Rolf was far better at hiding then anyone had first expected – obviously years of being on the run with Stefano had paid off because no one could find him! It didn't help that it was a sizable area with the forest and the run down old house as well in the middle of it all. Plenty of places to hide as it turned out. There was also the problem of the other team lurking out there as well, ready to open fire as soon as anyone showed there face. All in all it was quite the challenge and everyone was really enjoying themselves except for Joseph who oscillated between excitement at being one of the boys at last and basically wetting himself with fear. But no matter the situation Joseph always managed to find a way to bond with people.

"Big Daddy Brady?" said Joseph determinedly when Roman didn't look thrilled by that one either, "Oh oh oh - we could call you BDB for short!"

"Give in Roman," EJ advised him wisely, "Otherwise we'll be here all night."

"Okay, okay," said Joseph with a wave of his hand, "I've got it - you'll love this…"

"I'm pretty sure I won't," said Roman flatly.

"I'm pretty sure _I _will," interjected Steve with a smirk, enjoying the show so far, "You go for it Joe."

"Manny," announced Joseph triumphantly.

Everyone looked at Roman expectantly and behind Joseph's back EJ silently mouthed the words 'here all night' to Roman and the other man grimaced.

"It doesn't make me want to kill myself," conceded Roman straight faced.

"Hoo_ray_!" exclaimed Joseph, throwing his arms up in the air, "Manny it is!"

_As fate would have it Roman have a nom de plume would turn out to be a handy thing as they were soon to find out._

"Well now that is settled we should really find Daniel," cautioned EJ, "We're sitting ducks all grouped together in this room."

"But we're standing," pointed out John reasonably.

"It's an expression," said EJ with a shake of his head.

"And we're not ducks either," noted Steve seriously, unable to stop himself from egging John on and earning another withering look from EJ.

"I don't know if I can go back out there," fretted Joseph anxiously.

"You'll be fine Joe," said Roman easily, "Just stay close and do what we do."

"Oh oh!" said Joseph, flapping his hands wildly and looking almost constipated, "Oh Manny – I don't think I can do this! I can't even get my gun paint thingy to work!"

To demonstrate Joseph pulled frantically at the trigger and nothing happened.

"You've got the safety on Joe," Steve informed him calmly and nodded at the gun, "Just flick that switch and then all you have to do is squeeze the trigger slowly.

"It's stuck," panicked Joseph as he pushed on the switch.

"You're moving it the wrong way," EJ informed, starting to walk up to Joseph to help him, "Do it the other… OOMMFPF…!"

EJ bent over as he caught another paint ball in the chest at almost the exact same spot John had gotten him in as Joseph finally managed to work out the switch and with all the jiggling around with the gun he'd accidentally set it off. Unfortunately for EJ, he was in the wrong place at the wrong time yet again.

"BLOODY HELL JOSEPH!" complained EJ loudly, putting his hand to his now most likely bruised chest.

"Oh honey!" exclaimed Joseph in horror, "Oh I'm _so_ sorry - are you alright?!"

"I would be if everyone would stop shooting me!" said EJ in annoyance as he straightened up, rubbing his chest again.

"This is so much fun," smirked John.

"I'm glad my pain is amusing to you Uncle," said EJ dryly.

"It is Nephew," nodded John happily, "It really is."

Further discussion on EJ's pain was interrupted by an announcement over the loud speaker informing the members of the DiMera party that they had a new arrival and for them all to return to the registration area.

"Do you know what that's about John?" asked Roman curiously.

"No," frowned John, "It might be a trick to draw us out."

"I don't think so," said EJ with a shake of his head, "I recognise the voice - that was Walt who organised all our gear for us."

"Maybe the others got to him," suggested John, still suspicious.

"I don't think the others have as devious a mind as you do Uncle John," said EJ with a roll of his eyes.

"Just shows how little you know about that brother of yours," said John unconvinced.

"You don't remember Tony at all Uncle!" exclaimed EJ in exasperation.

"He's doesn't blink enough," John said defiantly, "Can't trust a man that doesn't blink."

"_That's_ your bench mark for whether someone can be trusted?" asked EJ in frustration, "Blinking?"

"You should be right then," commented Steve to EJ, "You blink a lot."

"That's because I'm always holding back the tears of frustration," announced EJ straight faced, "And can I just say how amusing it is Uncle that a man with a total of two facial expressions is passing judgement on someone else's tics!"

"What's the other one?" asked Steve curiously.

John looked at Steve and moved one eyebrow the smallest amount and Steve nodded.

"Oh yeah," said Steve calmly, "Don't know how I could have missed that one."

The announcement came on the loud speaker again.

"Look we'd better go up," said EJ with a shake of his head, "I don't think that it is a trick."

"Thinking like that Nephew will cost us this war," said John flatly.

"Actually I think standing around and having a tea party is more like to do that," commented Daniel in exasperation as he walked into the room finding his entire team standing around chatting, "What are you all doing and EJ… what happened to you?"

EJ looked down at his red and blue splattered coveralls and grimaced.

"There was an incident courtesy of my uncle," said EJ ruefully, "Followed by another incident in a small amount of time."

"Joseph went off unexpectedly," John commented.

"And that usually isn't a problem for me sweetie," said Joseph brightly, fluttering his eyes at Daniel, "Just in case you were wondering."

"Ah… okay," said Daniel with a quirk of his lips and then frowned as he looked at EJ, "But why do you have red and blue paint on you EJ? If you've managed to be shot by your own team twice now there should only be red paint on you."

"Oh," said Joseph in surprise, "You're right honey."

He looked down at his paint ball gun and frowned.

"I seem to have the wrong colour somehow," he noted, "I should have a red one shouldn't I?"

"We'll sort it out when we go up," said EJ calmly, "Come on."

As the red team walked up to the registration building they met up with Eric and Tracy, the rest of the blue team were already up at the building.

"Oh man!" laughed Eric to see EJ, "What happened to you?"

"My uncle and Joseph happened to me," said EJ with a roll of his eyes, "Remind me to make sure neither one of them are ever given a gun in real life."

"Oh sugar," sighed Joseph, "I feel so bad about that - if you like I can kiss it all better for you?"

"Thank you Joseph," said EJ wryly, "But I'll manage."

"Are you sure?" asked Joseph hopefully, "I really don't mind you know."

"But I'm pretty confident Samantha would mind," said EJ with a bit of a laugh at Joseph's eager expression.

"Oh we just won't tell the kitten," said Joseph blithely, "I mean, we didn't tell you when I had to help her in the bath that time when she was still having trouble with her leg… oh…"

Joseph trailed off then, realising that he'd let the cat out of the bag so to speak.

"What?" exclaimed EJ, his eyes opening wide, "You were in the bath with Samantha?!"

"No," said Joseph hurriedly, "She was in the bath, I was just helping her get out of it when her leg cramped up on her."

"Why you?" asked EJ in horror, "Where was I?"

"At work sugar," said Joseph with a wave of his hand, "It was either me or Rolf and even though I know she's seen him naked we kind of figured that you wouldn't want her to return the favour!"

"Sami saw Rolf naked?!" asked Tracy in surprise, "What the?"

"I don't know why you're getting upset honey bunny," said Joseph with a casual hand flap, "After all you've seen Marlena naked!"

"Oh my god!" gasped Eric, this being news to him, "MOM?!"

"It was an accident Eric," said EJ quickly.

"Yeah but dude," said Eric weakly, "My Mom?!"

"Is there anyone in your household that hasn't seen at least one other person naked?" asked Tracy in amusement.

"I may need to get back to you on that," said EJ wryly and then turned to Joseph as they walked along and frowned, "Now Joseph, you were saying about you and Samantha - are you telling me she was fully unclothed when you helped her…"

Joseph made a strained face, sensing EJ didn't really want to hear the answer to that question so he figured it was time to make good his escape.

"Oh coming Manny!" he called out, feigning the other man up ahead had called out to him which they all knew he hadn't but regardless Joseph picked up his pace and trotted ahead to join Steve, Daniel and Roman.

"I don't believe this!" said EJ, very unhappy to hear this latest piece of information.

"Ah, I don't know if you've realised this or not EJ," Tracy informed him straight faced, "But Joe is gay."

"The gayest of the gay," agreed Eric seriously, "In fact he makes those flamingos of yours look positively butch."

"I'm aware of that Joseph is gay," said EJ flatly but that little fact didn't help with the stab of jealousy he suddenly felt, "I just don't like the thought of any man ever seeing Samantha naked other than me."

"You know," said Eric ironically, "I could have lived my whole life and not heard those words uttered and died a content man."

The three of them were at the registration building now and were the last to arrive. Walt the owner/operator of the course was waiting for all of them to get there.

"So you're the bachelor huh?" he asked EJ.

"Well I'm a married bachelor," admitted EJ with a bit of a laugh, "If you excuse the oxymoron."

"Hey!" said John with a frown, "Wild cat is a bit high strung and impulsive at times and sure, she likes to hang out in closets but you shouldn't call your wife that!"

EJ rolled his eyes at John, not bothering to clear up the misunderstanding and valiantly fought back the urge to shoot him just for the hell of it.

"Yes, I'm the 'bachelor'," said EJ, being determinedly polite to Walt, not wanting to take his frustrations with John out on the innocent man.

"Someone's here to see you," said Walt with a bit of a smirk on his face.

"Oh?" said EJ, looking around at the other men who appeared to be as much in the dark as he was.

"Aha," nodded Walt, thinking to himself that he saw all types in this job.

The man jerked his head towards the side door and indicated for EJ to move to the front a little. EJ frowned, still confused but complied. The lights suddenly went off and a strobe light magically started as the door was flung open all of a sudden and loud music began to play 'Sweet Dreams' by the Eurythmics. There was a collective gasp from the men at the sight in front of them.

"Holy…" began Tracy.

"… Crap," ended Eric for him, both men wide eyed and mouths hanging open.

"Mercy!" breathed Joseph, almost lost for words for once.

"Well, well," noted Tony, arching an eyebrow and actually blinking.

"What the hell?" exclaimed Roman looking at EJ and John in confusion.

"Oh god," said EJ weakly as he shook his head and giving an annoyed looked at John, "Samantha is _not_ going to be okay with this!"


	72. Chapter 72

**Chapter SEVENTY TWO**

Sami and the other women had just pulled up and gotten out of their respective cars, looking around.

"This is the place," confirmed Hope, pointing to the parked minibus.

"And it looks like that is where we're going to find them," noted Kayla and now she pointed to the registration building with all the lights on.

The lights however suddenly went off and then there was the sound of music blaring out from the building.

"Oh," said Chelsea, pursing her lips, "I don't like the sound of that."

"Right!" growled Sami, her face set angrily, "Time to put a stop to this right now!"

The women moved as one, determinedly heading towards the building that it was becoming increasingly likely that it did indeed house their wayward men. As they got closer Sami recognised the song.

"Sweet dreams!" she bit out, her lips pressed together, "I'll give you _sweet_ _dreams_ EJ DiMera once I get my hands on you!"

**oooOOOOooo**

The men, meanwhile, completely oblivious to the oncoming tide of female fury had enough to deal with right then anyway as they all still stood there in shock, trying to take in the scene unfolding before them.

"Ding _Dong_!" exclaimed Joseph excitedly at the vision in front of him, not seeming to be struggling as much as the others for some reason.

The tall, well built, dark haired man gyrated into the room, his tightly fitting cowboy outfit leaving nothing to the imagination. After the initial cries of surprise no one seemed to be able to move or say anything other than Joseph who was looking very excited all of a sudden, clapping his hands as the hard bodied Adonis shimmied his way closer to EJ, 'Sweet Dreams' blaring from the beat box he'd bought with him. He was making a direct bee line for EJ who had that 'deer in the headlight' look on his face.

"Oh!" said Eric, suddenly coming to life as he realised something.

Tracy managed to tear his eyes off the spectacle in front of him to see Eric patting down his pockets and then grimacing.

"Damn!" he muttered, "I forgot, we handed in our belongings at the beginning - I need my phone."

"Who are you planning on calling?" asked Tracy with a laugh as he kept one eye on the proceedings to his left, his eyes widening as the cowboy now threw off his cowboy hat and doused himself with water from a nearby bottle and was shaking water droplets all over a stunned EJ.

"Everyone I know and then I'm just going to open the phone book and start at the A's and work my way through!" grinned Eric, "But first I thought I might catch a little video of this."

"Great idea!" agreed Tracy excitedly and the two of them hurried over to the counter a couple of feet away where Walt was idly leaning against watching the fun and games.

"I need to get my cell phone," said Eric quickly, "Do you mind getting it for me?"

"It's in a locked box," shrugged Walt, not appearing to have any kind of inclination to be helpful.

"I'll give you a hundred dollars if you get it right now," said Eric urgently, knowing that EJ was going to be putting a stop to this any minute and needing to have video footage of this little turn of events more than he needed his next breath.

"I'd have to find the key," said Walt, still not sounding overly motivated by the idea.

There was a collective gasp from the men and Eric and Tracy turned round to see EJ attempting to keep the cowboy from rubbing his butt in EJ's groin as EJ determinedly made his way to turn off the music.

"Two hundred dollars!" exclaimed Tracy and Eric in unison.

"I'll go you halves if you give me a copy of what you get," grinned Tracy.

"Deal!" nodded Eric and they both looked expectantly at Walt.

Walt shrugged and went to get the requested item, two hundred dollars was two hundred dollars after all.

"It's the green one!" called out Eric and Tracy arched an eyebrow at him and Eric shrugged, "So I like green."

Walt returned with the cell phone and handed it over when Eric and Tracy handed over the two hundred dollars.

"YouTube here we come!" said Eric gleefully, flipping open his phone.

He and Tracy turned around just in time to see EJ shake off his new best friend who had now ripped his t-shirt in two and then killed the music and found the light switch, flicking them on.

"Son of a gun!" exclaimed Eric in annoyance at having missed out and glared at Walt, "You owe us two hundred dollars Walt! Would it have killed you to pick up the pace when you went to get the phone?!"

Walt shrugged again, he had his money, he didn't care.

"Excuse me," said EJ determinedly, holding out a hand to ward off the other man's advances again, "May I help you?"

The newcomer frowned and looked round, a bit confused now - this wasn't the usual kind of reaction he was used to.

"Sorry," he said, looking a bit baffled now, turning his head and looking around at everyone, "This is the DiMera party isn't it?"

"Yes," nodded EJ, "It is but I'm still not sure why you're here…"

EJ was stopped from continuing by the front door being flung open and an angry looking Sami framed there. EJ along with everyone else turned their heads to look at the cause of the sudden interruption.

"Samantha!" said EJ in surprise, his eyes widening, "What are you doing here? Are you alright - are the twins alright?"

"We're fine!" she snapped, walking in and the rest of the women spilling into the room behind her.

"Whoa," said Eric in surprise, holding up his cell phone and videoing, "This is still good stuff."

"I hope you're all having a good time?!" Sami said sarcastically to them, hands on hips as she eyed the men off in disgust, looking for the floozy who was attempting to give them 'sweet dreams'!

"Oh yes kitten!" sighed Joseph ecstatically, "_Such_ a good time!"

"So where is she?" Sami demanded to know.

"She who honey?" asked EJ in consternation, this evening becoming a little overwhelming all of a sudden.

"The cheap tart lusting after my husband!" exclaimed Sami, walking up to EJ and looking up at him in annoyance.

EJ couldn't help himself, his eyes flicking over to Nicole at Sami's question.

"Not me!" exclaimed Nicole and then gave him a sexy smile, "But thank you for thinking about me first counsellor."

"Do you mean me honey?" asked Joseph sticking up his hand tentatively.

"No Joe!" said Sami in exasperation, still looking around for the stripper.

"Well I've always found him to be a fine figure of a man," commented Steve straight faced.

"Steve!" said Kayla in annoyance at her husband's flippancy.

"It's alright sweetness," he grinned, "You'll always be my number one girl."

"I'm not sure why you guys hired me," commented the cowboy, crossing his arms in front of his chest as he looked at them all in amusement, "You seem to be entertainment enough on your own."

Everyone turned to look at him then and he smiled back calmly.

"Who are you?" asked Sami in confusion.

"We were just finding that out when you ladies unexpectedly graced us with your presence," said EJ wryly, looking back to the cowboy expectantly.

"Roman," said the man easily, introducing himself, "Roman Hans - I'm from The Bouncing Booty. I'm the exotic dancer that was ordered for the party."

Bo blew out a snort of laughter at this, bending over a little as he began to chortle away to himself. Steve grinned and soon Abe and Mickey joined in while Hope and Kayla put their hands over their mouth to mask their own amusement.

"Sorry man," grinned Bo at new Roman's confused look at he pointed at his unimpressed brother, "It's just that his name is Roman as well."

"Oh," he laughed, "Guess you'll just have to call me RomanTwo then huh?"

"So_ that's_ where you got to!" exclaimed Nicole and shaking her head, "You're at the wrong party bub!"

"I was beginning to figure that out," RomanTwo said good naturedly.

"You hired a stripper Nicole?" exclaimed Sami in disbelief although now that she thought about it, it wasn't that shocking.

"It was a bachelorette party," said Nicole unrepentantly, "Of course I hired a stripper!"

"Well why didn't you mention it then?" asked Sami in exasperation.

"I wanted it to be a surprise," shrugged Nicole.

"Mission accomplished there I think dear," noted Emily wryly, looking around at the various shell shocked faces of the men.

"What's with the accent?" asked Chelsea, tilting her head at the good looking young man, "You English like EJ?"

"Nah," he laughed, "I'm from the colonies - an Aussie - descendant from convict stock me."

"Oh I love Australians!" exclaimed Anna happily, smiling brightly at the other man, going into instant flirt mode.

"You don't know any Australians my love," pointed out Tony laconically.

"But if I did I'm sure I'd love them," said Anna flatly, giving Tony a scathing look.

"Well this Australian returns the sentiment," laughed RomanTwo and gave her a cheeky wink.

"Why thank you," simpered Anna, preening a little under the younger man's attentions.

"Excuse me," said asked Daniel with a raised eyebrow and a quirk of his lips, "Did I hear right - you're name is _Roman Hands_?"

"Hans," corrected RomanTwo, "H-A-N-S. It's actually Roman Hanserlinsinki but that's a bit of a mouthful so I just shortened it - besides, it kind of works for this gig."

"I bet that isn't all that's a bit of a mouthful about you Roman," cooed Joseph, looking him over with great interest.

"Tell you what…" RomanTwo paused and looked at Joseph expectantly.

"Joseph," he filled in quickly, "Or Joe… Joey… Jo Jo… I'll come to just about anything."

Sami and Emily exchanged glances, Joseph had told them enough stories about him to know _that_ was true.

"Tell you what Joseph," said RomanTwo with a boyish grin, "Why don't I finish my show and you can judge for yourself."

"YES!"

"NO!"

The men, except for Joseph of course had given a resounding no to that suggestion but there had been quite a few women who begged to differ.

"Excuse me ladies," said EJ, looking a bit miffed, "How does this work? You were all ready to hang, draw and quarter us men when you thought RomanTwo here was a female stripper and now, suddenly it's not a problem?!"

"I don't understand what your point is EJ," said Anna breezily, "Now get out of the way, you're blocking Park Avenue views."

Anna made a shooing noise in EJ's direction and tried to look past him to an amused RomanTwo.

"Look I don't want to cause any trouble here," laughed RomanTwo, "It's just that you've paid for me for an hour and I don't feel right taking your money if I don't put on a show."

"The hottie from Down Under makes a valid point," said Joseph quickly, "I think it would only be polite to let him do his thing. After all, he's a guest in our country and we should make him feel at home."

"Why do I get the feeling that Joseph really meant to say was that he'd rather be feeling him _up at home_?" asked Tracy wryly.

"So there was no female stripper?" said Sami, letting the information sink in properly at last.

"No," said EJ firmly, "Just RomanTwo here."

"Oh," said Sami, suddenly feeling a little foolish.

"Just a little point sweetheart," said EJ calmly, "But who is looking after our twins if you're all here?"

"Mom," offered up Chelsea happily.

"Oh," said EJ, realising Billie wasn't there, "Of course. For a moment there I thought you might have left them with Roger the state you were in when you burst through that door."

"What's wrong with Roger?" asked RomanTwo curiously - he was a people person and always liked meeting new people and this certainly seemed to be an interesting bunch.

"Roger's a monkey," supplied Tracy casually.

"Do you mean that figuratively or literally?" asked RomanTwo, raising an eyebrow.

"Literally," said Eric with a gin, "He's very cool."

"I suppose he would be," nodded RomanTwo thoughtfully.

"And way more agreeable than the demented peacock," mused Eric.

"Well yes," said RomanTwo agreeably, thinking he really needed to get to know these people better, "I expect he would be."

**oooOOOOooo**

After everything had settled down people had drifted off into groups, just chatting. Now that the women were there they didn't seem that inclined to leave.

"So where's Rolf," asked Emily.

She was standing in a little group with John, RomanTwo, Kayla, Bo and Nicole.

"We released him into the wild," said John stoically.

"Is Rolf another monkey?" asked RomanTwo with interest.

"No, an Austrian," John informed him having seemed to have worked out the difference between Australians and Austrians now, "But he's not blind."

"Oh," nodded RomanTwo looking a bit perplexed by that, "Ah… that's good."

"So Rolf is out there somewhere?" asked Emily with a bit of a frown, "Why didn't he come in when everyone else did?"

"He's hiding," replied Bo, "We kind of made Rolf the marker that our team has to retrieve and Daniel's team has to stop us."

"And Rolf volunteered to do this?" asked Kayla sceptically.

"Volunteered… forced," shrugged John, "It means the same thing."

"Actually I'm pretty sure it doesn't John," said Kayla with a roll of her eyes.

"So that's what you guys have been doing all night?" asked Nicole with a roll of her eyes, "Hunting down Lurch? Yeesh - at least my party had booze at it and it would have had him too…"

Nicole jerked her head towards RomanTwo at that last thing.

"… if you hadn't ended up here," said Nicole, "Meanwhile you lot are crawling around in the dirt!"

"It's a game of strategy and finesse," protested Bo who had been quite enjoying himself before the interruption and truth be told, wouldn't have minded getting back to it.

"So you haven't been able to find Rolf so far," mused Kayla with a bit of a smirk at Bo, "So I'm not sure what all your finessing has gotten you little brother."

"We were working on a plan," said Bo a bit defensively.

"So were we," nodded John expressionlessly.

He seemed to think about that for a moment and qualified it.

"Well that was before Joseph blue EJ up at the house of course," offered up John casually just before he noticed Marlena out of the corner of his eye, "We kind of got off topic after that."

Kayla and Bo made kind of strangled noises, Nicole an interested one and RomanTwo arched both his eyebrows and looked over at Emily who just smiled back at him and gave a little chuckle.

RomanTwo decided he _really_ had to get to know these people now!

"What?" asked Bo in surprise but John was already walking away to see his Blondie.

Roman walked up to the others then as John left and his brother looked at him worriedly.

"John just told us what happened in the cabin," said Bo, looking very uncertain.

"Oh yeah," said Roman casually, "It was a big mess – stuff went everywhere, I think even Steve caught some in the fall out."

"You… you were all watching?" asked Bo faintly.

"St… Steve?" repeated Kayla just as weakly.

RomanTwo tried to shrink back a little, sensing this might be more of a family moment kind of thing somehow but also still pretty interested, meanwhile Emily just stood there, clearly enjoying the show.

"Ha," Nicole gave a snorting laugh, "And you guys were all worried about a stripper! That sounds like the least of your problems!"

"What do you mean?" asked Roman in confusion.

Just then EJ walked around the corner with Joseph and John on either side of them.

"We should probably get the game happening again eh?" he said cheerfully, "What do you…"

He trailed off then when he saw how everyone was looking at him and Joseph.

"What?" said Joseph self consciously, wiping his face, "Have I got something on my face?"

"Apparently," sniggered Nicole and earned an unhappy look from Kayla.

"EJ what happened up at the cabin?" Kayla asked, deciding that enough was enough.

"Are we still on that?" said John flatly, "I told you – Joseph blue EJ and then…"

"Oh a girl can only dream," interrupted Joseph with a happy sigh, clearly picturing it in his head.

"Uncle John!" said EJ in exasperation and then shook his head at the others, "He means Joseph blued me – with his paint gun… the blue paint…"

EJ made a sweeping at his now red and blue smattered coveralls.

"That's what I said," frowned John, "Joe blue you."

"Find a better way of saying that Uncle John!" said EJ through gritted teeth to the other man.

He then gave a challenging look to the others then.

"Oh and thank you so much for giving me the benefit of the doubt," he said sarcastically, "Cheers for that!"

"We didn't think what John said was right," said Kayla hastily, "He just caught us off guard is all EJ."

"Oh yeah," said Joseph cheerfully, "He'll do that alright. Black Bear is soo great."

Everyone had regrouped by now and Sami came up to EJ, slipping an arm around his waist and smiling up at him lovingly. EJ rather figured the women would be heading back to their party now that they'd been reassured that there was no one stripping at the men's party… despite Joseph's best attempts.

"So I'll see you at home sweetheart?" he asked her with a smile.

"Well now we're here I thought maybe we could join in?" suggested Sami brightly.

"That sounds like a great idea darling," grinned EJ, "You can be on my team."

"How about we do men against women?" suggested Hope.

"Yeah right!" snorted Bo without thinking, "Like that will work!"

"What does that mean Brady?" scowled Hope, not liking his tone.

"Ah… nothing," Bo realised his mistake too late and tried to back pedal hastily, "Just that… ah… there are only eleven women and thirteen men so… umm… it wouldn't really work."

"Good save man," said Steve mockingly, giving him a thumbs up sign, "That was real smooth!"

"You think that we women don't have a chance against the men?" said Hope, putting her hand on her hip and regarding Bo through narrowed eyes, "That's what you're saying isn't it Brady?"

"I didn't say that," said Bo quickly.

"Yeah but you're thinking it aren't you little brother?" sniffed Kayla.

"Come on sweetness," grinned Steve, "You're a doctor - they aren't typically known for their gun handling skills."

"He's got a point," interjected Abe and then looked at his wife, "You don't even want me to keep mine in the house."

"Something I'm rethinking right about now!" sassed Lexie, unimpressed by these men macho attitude, "Besides, these are only paint ball guns."

"Take it from me Sis," said EJ ruefully, a hand going to his chest again, "They still hurt."

"I can't believe John shot you," said Sami with a shake of her head and looked up at EJ, "My poor baby."

"Your 'poor baby' had better starting moving a whole lot quicker than he has been," noted John straight faced, "Why be given those ridiculous legs if you're not going to put them to good use."

"EJ's legs are not ridiculous John!" said Sami hotly, defending her husband.

"Yeah but they're not normal," noted John casually.

"Ah, they're about as long as mine," said Tracy with a quirk of his lips, "Are mine ridiculous?"

"And mine too," grinned RomanTwo, both men standing at about 6ft 2" and for some reason RomanTwo didn't seem to find John off putting at all.

"You're blonde and you're Australian," said John as though that explained everything.

"You're an interesting guy John," noted RomanTwo, looking at him in amusement.

"I think that would be an understatement," said RomanOne with a roll of his eyes.

"So are we going to do this or what?" asked Chelsea with interest at everyone.

Tonight had been somewhat of a revelation for her - especially about her family and somehow she had a feeling there was more to come.

"I'll be on the girls' team if that will help with the numbers," offered up RomanTwo and gave the women a cheeky wink, "I owe them a show anyway."

Hope grinned back at him and then looked challengingly at Bo.

"That sounds great RomanTwo," said Hope, folding her arms in front of her.

"Mind you," he said ruefully, looking down at his ripped shirt and the fact he was still pretty damp, "I'm going to have to change."

"Don't bother on our account honey," said Joseph hopefully, fluttering his eyes at RomanTwo.

"I don't think Ma is going to want to play paint ball Fancy Face," said Bo, trying to be reasonable.

"Don't you tell me what I do and don't want to do thank you my boy, " said Caroline with an arched eyebrow, "I think it sounds like a lot of fun - what do you say Emily?"

"Well it's been a while since I've shot someone," mused Emily with a little smile, "But I have a feeling it will all come back to me."

"I'm not sure this is such a brilliant idea," said EJ a little uncertainly, looking down at Sami, "Sweetheart, come tomorrow our wedding will only be two days away. Our luck hasn't been outstanding in the whole getting to the altar thing - don't you think we might be tempting fate somewhat?"

"Don't worry honey," said Sami, smiling up at him, "I have Roman Two - I'm sure he'll be happy to watch out for me."

"You bet Sami," grinned the young Australian.

"Oh super," said EJ weakly, "I'm so relieved to hear that but this really isn't your thing is it darling?"

"What are you saying EJ?" frowned Sami, suddenly not liking his tone.

"You're not really an outdoorsy kinda girl sweetheart," said EJ ruefully, more intent on not having her cosying up with RomanTwo then really thinking about what he was saying.

"Yes I am!" exclaimed Sami and looked up at him defiantly, "And I'll prove it to you - sign me up Aunt Hope - I've got some British butt to kick!"

EJ groaned - this had not been the outcome he'd been wrangling for somehow.

"So girls," said Hope triumphantly, turning around to address the women, "Are you with me?"

There was a chorus of agreement from the women and she turned back and looked at the rest of the men happily.

"It looks like it's game on gentlemen," she smirked at them.

The men looked at the women, the women looked at the men.

Suddenly the expression 'war of the sexes' took on a whole new meaning.

**oooOOOOooo**

Rolf shimmied a little higher up the tree and looked warily around. He'd heard the announcement to come up to the registration building but he wasn't born yesterday… or even the day before yesterday - he knew a trap when he heard it.

You'd have to try harder than that to get this mad scientist/butler/nude model… that was for darn sure!

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****: **For those who would like a visual the actor I have in mind for RomanTwo is Alex O'Loughlin – an aussie favourite of mine. He was the lead in 'Moonlight' the vampire show and now is a doctor in an American show called "Three Rivers" I believe. He is all kinds of yummy and if you go onto YouTube you can hear him speaking with his proper Aussie accent and that is how I'm picturing him in this story. Just so you know. ;)


	73. Chapter 73

**Chapter SEVENTY THREE**

"You need to get out of those wet clothes," commented Daniel to RomanTwo as the women were collecting the necessary clothing and safety eyewear.

"No probs," said RomanTwo easily and simply grabbed the waistband of his pants and tugged them clean off is body in one smooth action.

His pants coming away easily and leaving RomanTwo standing there in only a torn shirt and tighty whities. Joseph staggered back and clutched at something to steady himself with which just happened to be the front of Tracy's shirt as he stared wide eyed at the gorgeousness on display in front of him.

"Mama!" said Joseph weakly.

"Steady on there tiger," said Tracy, amused by his dramatic response to all the man flesh on display, "He's playing for the other team remember?"

"And I'm strangely comfortable with that," said Joseph with a cheeky smile and a knowing look.

"Hope springs eternal eh Joe?" said Tracy with a shake of his head at the other man.

"I don't think it's hope that is currently springing in Joe," commented Eric, tongue in cheek.

John meanwhile was looking at RomanTwo with rapt attention but for a completely different reason.

"So RomanTwo," he said, a look of interest in his eyes, "Where might one purchase pants such as those?"

"Uh oh," said Bo with a shake of his head, "Looks like Marlena's going to be in for a show by the sound of it."

Eric made a pained expression, really not needing to know those kind of details about his mother and John.

**oooOOOOooo**

"You do realise that we can't let the men win right?" Chelsea posed the question to the other women who were getting changed into their coveralls.

"Oh they're not going to," said Hope smugly.

"So I guess we should talk strategy then ladies," said RomanTwo happily as he walked up to them, complete with a fresh set of coveralls, "What's the plan?"

"Well I've always been a fan of the whole 'divide and conquer' ethos," stated Maggie.

"Like it," nodded RomanTwo.

"Yeah well I've always been a fan of the 'if you've got it, flaunt it' ethos," said Nicole smugly.

"That's not exactly a surprise Nicole," said Sami with a roll of her eyes, "There can't be a guy left in Salem that hasn't seen your 'it'!"

"Cute Sami," sniffed Nicole,

"Alright, alright you two," said Emily calmly, "Let's save that fighting spirit for the men shall we?"

"I've got plenty for both," said Sami with a sweet smile at Nicole.

"Is this everyone?" frowned RomanTwo, looking around and doing a quick head count, "We're down one aren't we?"

"Anna," Lexie informed him with a smile and jerked her over to other end of the room where the other woman was still at the counter with Walt, "There's been a slight wardrobe malfunction I think… well, at least from Anna's point of view."

**oooOOOOooo**

Anna looked down at the green/grey coveralls she'd been given and wrinkled her nose in distaste and then looked back up at the man behind the counter.

"Are you sure you don't have a different style of these at all?" she asked Walt, looking unhappily at the unflattering article of clothing, "Something a little more fitted perhaps and maybe in a peach or lilac even… I really don't think I can wear this colour."

Walt looked back at her steadily, not moving and looking less than impressed.

"I don't mind waiting," smiled Anna sweetly, when he didn't say anything, "Perhaps out the back… under some other things, you might have something a little more suitable…?"

"Look lady…" began Walt in annoyance.

"It's Mrs DiMera," Anna corrected him quickly, "Not _lady_!"

"Whatever," shrugged Walt and then carried on straight faced, "Unfortunately our fall collection was delayed in being shipped from Paris so what you see is what you get! Do you want it or not?"

"Well," sniffed Anna, looking decidedly put out at the man's sarcasm, "There is no need for that kind of rudeness."

"Clearly there is because you're still standing there bugging me," said Walt, arching a challenging eyebrow at her.

"Come on Anna," said Emily who had come up behind the other woman to see if she could help, "We all look a little silly but that's alright - it's all part of the fun and games."

Anna scowled, always having believed that looking good was a requirement for any fun and games herself. She looked over at Walt and realised he was a lost cause and gave up then, giving a little resigned shrug, picking up the debated item of clothing.

"I'm going to be putting a complaint in to management about your attitude," she huffed at the man, "This isn't over!"

"Colour me shaking in my boots," said Walter flatly - they did not pay him enough to put up with this kind of crap he decided!

**oooOOOOooo**

The game had started and the men and women teams had spread out and begun hunting down each other. It had been decided that the team with the most member left standing at the end of forty minutes would be the winner, not bothering with the retrieving of any marker. Everyone had gathered together, suitable smack talk had been exchanged and then both teams were given five minutes to get into position before the actual game began. The women went to the forest on the left and the men to the right and then at the designated time it became hunting season in the forest.

And then after all that and many threatened attempts… the games finally began…

**oooOOOOooo**

**Twelve green bottles sitting on the wall…**

Roman crouched low in the bushes, signalling silently to Tracy that he should move around to the other side as they heard someone approaching them in the bushes. It had been prearranged by them that Roman would be the spotter, having a clear view of someone coming into the clearing from his position and then Tracy would simply pop up on Roman's signal and pick them off with one clean shot from his position. It was simple and methodical and Roman was convinced it would work. The position Tracy was in meant he was working blind, only being able to see his target once he stood up so he was completely reliant on Roman to tell him that his next mark was there.

The rustling of the bushes told Roman that the person was almost there and indicated to Tracy to move around to his left a little more for a cleaner shot and that he was to count to ten and then the person would be in the clearing. Tracy nodded his understanding and moved into position, no longer being able to see Roman and started to count. Roman waited patiently, counting himself but when he'd gotten to six who should walk into the clearing but Caroline. Roman's eyes widened, knowing Tracy would be just firing without taking stock of who it was properly and made a mad dash to protect his mother. He leapt out of the bushes and charged towards her, getting to her just in time to pull her out of the way.

"Ma!" he cried out as Tracy paint ball pellet exploded on a nearby tree missing its mark, "Are you alright?"

"Oh," said Caroline a little dazedly, looking up at Roman with a grateful smile, "Thank you dear."

"That's okay Ma," said Roman, "You have to… AAAGGH!"

Roman cried out as the paint ball exploded on his chest. He staggered back and looked at his mother wide eyed as she smiled serenely back at him, her recently fired paint ball gun still aimed at him.

"MA!" he exclaimed, looking down at his paint splattered chest, "You… you shot me!"

"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen honey," said Caroline sweetly, patting him on the arm as she went by in search of her next victim.

As she went she called out over her shoulder with some motherly advice.

"You should go on up to the house and change out of those coveralls before the paint stains through to your shirt dear," she instructed him before disappearing into the bushes again leaving her flabbergasted son to his own devices.

Tracy from his vantage point had seen the whole thing and shook his head.

"Gunned down in cold blood by your own mother," he said in amazement but unable to stop the smile on his face, "Way harsh!"

**oooOOOOooo**

**Eleven green bottles sitting on a wall… **

"Where's Roman?" asked Bo with a frown when Tracy caught up with him, Mickey and Abe again.

"Ask your mother," grinned Tracy.

"Are you serious?" asked Bo in disbelief but couldn't stop the smile on his face and the other men joined in with the general amusement at the thought of Commissioner Roman Brady being taken out by his mother.

"Very," confirmed Tracy with a quiet laugh, conscious of not giving their position away, "So what's the new plan guys?"

"I think you should go up ahead Tracy," strategised Abe, "We need a scout to give us the position of the other team so check the perimeter and then report back to us."

"Will you guys be alright there?" asked Tracy, looking around himself, "This area is a bit exposed."

"Don't worry about us Tracy," said Bo confidently, "Abe and I have been cops for a long time, we know what we're doing."

"And I'm a lawyer," grinned Mickey, "I'm used to getting down and dirty."

"Okay," grinned Tracy, "I'll be back in five."

"Fancy that kid worrying about us," laughed Abe once Tracy was gone.

"I know," said Bo with a shake of his head, "The ones who should really be worried are the women. I have no idea what Hope was thinking when she decided to take us all on. It's so obvious that we're going to wipe the floor with them."

"Sometimes the ladies just need to feel like they can play with the big boys," shrugged Mickey, "You've got to feel for them really."

Exactly four minute, forty seven seconds later Tracy was heading back from his scouting mission and met the other three men heading the opposite way.

"Whoa!" he said in surprise, taking in their paint splattered appearance, "What happened guys?"

Abe, Mickey and Bo all exchanged glances and then as one answered him.

"We don't want to talk about it!"

And then without another word they just kept walking. Tracy turned his head and saw Maggie, Hope, Chelsea and Lexie all disappearing through to the other side of the clearing and had to cover his mouth with his hand to stop himself bursting out with laughter.

How did that old saying go… 'Pride comes before a fall?'

**oooOOOOooo**

**Eight green bottles sitting on a wall…**

Anna clumped through the bushes, screwing up her face as bits of branches caught at her hair and she swatted wildly at them in annoyance.

"Back off nature!" she threatened the trees, "I'm in no mood!"

"You never were a back to basics kind of girl were you my love?" asked Tony, suddenly appearing from behind a tree, regarding her in amusement, his paint gun raised and aimed at her.

"I've never felt the need," she sniffed and then looked down at the gun he had pointed at her and back at him, "You had better not be even thinking about shooting me Tony!"

"It was something I was considering darling," admitted Tony with a smirk, "You are on the opposite team to me and technically the enemy."

"Well let me tell you this - pull that trigger and you're never going to get to invade any enemy territory ever again Anthony DiMera!" Anna threatened him coldly.

"You make a persuasive argument for an amnesty my darling," said Tony thoughtfully and then promptly lowered his gun.

"Yes I do," smirked Anna and then promptly lifted her gun and shot him squarely in the stomach.

"I… I thought we'd agreed to an amnesty?!" gasped Tony, straightening up and looking at Anna with annoyance as he rubbed his stomach.

"We did," shrugged Anna with a saccharine sweet smile, "A one sided amnesty."

"A one sided amnesty?" repeated Tony in bewilderment, "How does that work?!"

"Very well from where I'm standing," grinned Anna as she started to walk away from him.

Tony scowled, watching his wife walk off triumphantly.

"Yeah well…" he said in annoyance and then decided to take his life into his own hands and risk some retribution, "Those coveralls makes your butt look big!"

Anna gave an outraged gasp and whirled around, shooting him again, this time in the chest with a look of death and destruction in her eyes.

"Ow," said Tony weakly, not entirely sure that the ride had been worth the fall on that one.

**oooOOOOooo**

**Seven green bottles sitting on a wall… **

"Our biggest threat is John," said Hope and Kayla, Emily, Chelsea, Marlena and Maggie all agreed as they hid together in a rocky outcrop together.

"So how do we stop him?" asked Kayla urgently, making sure she kept her voice low, "I mean not too long ago he was brain washed into being a remorseless assassin for Stefano - that's not an easy thing to work around!"

"He's got one Achilles' heel," said Marlena calmly and the other women looked at her and she just smiled, "I have a plan."

John moved almost silently through the undergrowth, stopping suddenly when he thought he heard something. He tilted his head to one side, listening intently, zeroing in on where it was coming from. He moved determinedly forward until he caught sight of a familiar blonde head. He moved closer and saw that Marlena had her back to him and seemed to be having trouble with the front of her shirt, fussing away. He stepped into the clearing, not wanting to shoot her in the back particularly - didn't seem that classy somehow and called her name.

"Blondie," he said calmly, his paint gun raised, finger on the trigger ready to take her out of the game.

Marlena maybe his wife but right now she was the enemy so John felt totally justified in what he was about to do. Marlena gasped and turned around and John's eyes were immediately drawn to the fact that she had her coveralls and the blouse wide open, her bra clad breasts on full display for him to admire and John did just that.

"Nice," he smiled, enjoying the show but fully intending on shooting her anyway after he'd managed to tear his eyes off her chest.

"John!" exclaimed Marlena, sounding put out but she didn't close up her shirt, "Do you mind?"

"Not even a little bit," said John looking at her appreciatively.

"You will," smirked Marlena and gave a little nod of her head and suddenly John was bombarded with paint gun pellets from every angle as Hope, Maggie, Emily, Kayla and Chelsea let loose on him.

John just stood there, paint dripping off just about every part of him, not reacting in the slightest until finally he spoke.

"Totally worth it," he announced stoically.

**oooOOOOooo**

**Six green bottles sitting on a wall… **

John stalked back through the bushes passing EJ as he did who was standing beside the south wall of the house..

"What happened to you?" asked EJ in amazement, seeing him almost totally covered in paint.

"Boobs," said John simply, not even breaking his stride.

"Fair enough," said EJ, accepting that at face value as John walked off back to the registration building.

EJ shook his head and moved back into the bushes that lined the wall just in time to see Sami walk through the same way less than a minute later. EJ grinned to see her and waited until she was just directly in front of him before reaching out a hand to grab her. He'd intended to pull her into the bushes with him for a little quality time but he was caught off guard by her quick reflexes. Sami gave a little squeal and promptly swung her paint ball gun around and pulled the trigger, in her adrenalin pumped state she fired before seeing who it was. EJ grunted painfully as he took yet another paint ball to the chest and just hoped his rib cage was up to the job. He leant back against the wall of the house and made a strangled sound noise in the back of his throat.

"Oh EJ!" exclaimed Sami in horror, "Honey - are you alright?!"

She rushed over to him and put her hands up to his chest but then let them hover there anxiously.

"Good shot sweetheart," he said faintly, looking down at her with a rueful smile.

"I am so sorry EJ!" she said with a shake of her head, "I didn't realise it was you."

"I'm beginning to think I've got some sort of bulls eye painted on my chest," said EJ in exasperation, straightening up from the wall and rubbing his chest at the new spot of pain there.

"Come on," said Sami, holding out her hand to him, "Let me have a look at it."

"It's fine Samantha," said EJ with a shake of his head.

"No EJ," said Sami and gave him a pointed look, "Let me have a… look… at it."

"Oh," said EJ, catching on, "Well yes, of course darling, anything you say."

Sami smiled at his sudden eagerness as he took her hand and she took him inside the house to where she'd just come from. They walked up the stairs to the abandoned top floor and went into one of the rooms. There was no furniture there but there were several large wooden crates littered about and Sami made EJ sit on one of them, indicating he should take off his coveralls. EJ slipped out of the coveralls so that he was down to the t-shirt underneath and let the top of them just bunch at his waist and Sami did the same, the item of clothing too big for her to manoeuvre in properly. She tied the arms of them around her waist, keeping the bottom half on as EJ had done.

"Now let's see," said Sami playfully, bending down to look at EJ as he sat on the crate in front of her, "I'm going to have to thoroughly check out your wounds you know EJ?"

"Well if you have to you have to," said EJ with a little smile, not looking particularly sad about that fact.

Sami knelt down before him, between his legs and pulled up the material of his shirt and even in the low light she could see that there were red welts already showing.

"My poor baby," she cooed, leaning forward and pressing soft kisses to the wounded areas.

"Mm," sighed EJ happily at his wife's ministrations, "Nice."

Sami smiled and became quickly distracted, moving from the injured area of his chest, this time her tongue lapping at the new flesh it discovered along the way.

"Mmmm!" EJ groaned happily, as she bit, nipped and licked at the skin of his chest, playfully nuzzling at the soft hair she found there.

She moved on then until she was at one of his nipples, the little nub hard already from her previous ministrations. Sami moved her mouth over the little bud, bitting it teasingly and making him cry out.

"God yes Samantha!" he moaned as she teased his puckered flesh, "So good sweetheart!"

Sami moved to his other nipple, repeating the same action and eliciting more approving groans from him. She finally released him and after pressing a few more kisses to his chest she let the material of his shirt drop and she straightened up, smiling down at him.

"All better?" she asked huskily.

EJ looked up at her adoringly, entranced by her beauty and still hardly believing that she was really his.

"I believe it's customary in these situations to have a kiss all better," he said, his voice roughened now from her previous attentions.

"Is that right?" breathed Sami, leaning right in now and EJ's eyes became fixated on those luscious lips of her.

"That's always been my understanding of it," he nodded slightly, the need to be kissing her again building in side of him and slowly becoming unbearable.

"Hmm," said Sami, pretending to ponder the concept before she moved and slowly straddled EJ's lap as he sat there, "Let's see…"

She wiggled a little then, purposefully rubbing herself into his groin and making EJ whimper ever so slightly and close his eyes.

"I guess I could run to a kiss," she said breathily, her own voice becoming uneven now as her own arousal began to grow, "If you really thought it would help EJ."

"God kiss me Samantha!" he groaned, "I'm dying here!"

His desperation thrilled her and she felt and answering need. Sami moved forward, claiming him in a kiss that stirred them both and EJ growled, his hands immediately going to her backside, grinding her sex into his and they very quickly became lost in one another.

RomanTwo climbed the stairs in the old house thinking he'd heard some noises up there. He poked his head into one of the rooms and grinned at the sight that met his eyes and then promptly turned around, leaving the love birds to it. He walked down the stairs and met up with Lexie and Emily.

"Did you find Sami?" asked Lexie.

"I did," nodded RomanTwo in amusement, "Looks like she's bagged herself one of the enemy and is currently interrogating him as we speak."

Emily and Lexie exchanged looks at that.

"Interrogating dear boy?" asked Emily with a little smile, having a fair idea of whom RomanTwo was referring to.

"Well," said RomanTwo, looking suddenly serious, "There was a lot of moaning going on so I can only assume that was what was happening."

The three of them grinned at each other then and left the EJ and Sami to their fate.

**oooOOOOooo**

**Five green bottles sitting on a wall… **

"But what can I do?" asked Joseph anxiously, never having done anything remotely like this before unless you counted the bed pan incident of course, "I don't think I could even shoot someone if I wanted to!"

"Just surprise them Joe," said Eric, keeping his voice low, "All we need is a distraction - you can buy us some time."

"Alright," said Joseph worried, his face clearing showing he wasn't overly keen on this plan of attack, "I'll do my best."

"Atta boy Joe," said Steve, slapping him on the back, "Knock `em dead!"

The three of them were standing together while Daniel and Tracy were somewhere across the clearing they were at, not far away. Eric had shimmied up a tree and seen that a group of the women and RomanTwo were heading that way and they'd planned an ambush. The men were going to wait until the women were crossing the little clearing and then Joseph was to go in as a distraction and draw their attention and then the rest of the men would come up behind the enemy team and just open fire.

The women's team which was everyone except for Sami of course who was otherwise occupied walked into the clearing with RomanTwo on point and the moment was upon them. Eric tapped Joseph's shoulder and nodded, giving him a thumbs up. Joseph looked stricken but then adrenalin flooded his body as he realised that he was going to actually have to do this. He gripped his paint gun tightly and launched himself from the bushes, screaming like a banshee and racing directly towards the group, hoping he was catching them sufficiently off guard that he wasn't going to get shot before the plan had time to work.

The blood was coursing through Joseph's veins and he knew he couldn't bear to look so he squeezed his eyes shut and just kept running in a straight line, heading for the centre of the group. The women and RomanTwo swung around in surprise at the sight of Joseph barrelling towards them, waving his gun around in front of him and screaming at the top of his lungs. The group just all stepped back silently as he approached, parting like the Red Sea and Joseph just continued on through the other side of them which he didn't realise of course because his eyes were still firmly shut. Joseph barrelled on blindly until his foot connected with a rocky out crop and he tumbled to the ground, giving a high pitched squeal of shock as he did.

Joseph unconsciously tightened his grip on his gun then as he fell and of course the thing went off even as he plummeted to the ground. At that exact same moment Daniel had made his move and as luck would have it he caught Joseph's wayward paint pellet fair in the chest as he immerged from his covering and he looked down in shock at the red paint and grimaced, EJ had been right - they really did hurt. Joseph by this stage was semi-hysterical figuring one of the enemy had tackled him and still refusing to open his eyes he began to frantically pull on the trigger of his paint gun as he rolled blindly around on the ground.

The women's team and RomanTwo had yet to really move and didn't feel the need to seeing as all of Joseph's shots were aimed in the opposite direction to them. This was a little unfortunate for Tracy who had just stepped out from behind a tree to return fire thinking it was from the women's team only to catch one in the shoulder and thigh courtesy of Joseph. Tracy staggered back at the double assault and grabbed at the tree for support.

"Open your eyes Joe!" he yelled out in annoyance.

Hearing Tracy's voice Joseph stopped rolling around on the ground and firing his gun and cautiously opened one eye and then the other, looking around him and then scrambling to his feet when he saw that everything hadn't gone exactly to plan. He looked around at all the other team who were regarding him with some amusement and panicked.

"Don't shoot me!" he yelled out to them frantically, throwing his gun down, "I'm unarmed!"

The gun hit the ground and discharged one more time, this time turning on Joseph and catching him squarely in the chest. Joseph gave a high pitched scream and threw himself on his back at the impact.

"I'm hit, I'm hit!" he yelled dramatically, clutching at his chest as he lay on the ground to which Daniel and Tracy just shook their heads and rolled their eyes.

The women's team and RomanTwo looked at each other and then back down at Joseph who was still having mild histrionics on the ground and did the only thing they could do under the circumstances. As one they started to clap, applauding Joseph's efforts because all in all, it had worked out quite nicely for them.

"Well," said Eric slowly, taking in the carnage from Joseph's moment in the sun as he remained half crouched behind a rock, "You have to hand it to Joe… that _was_ surprising."

"And then some," agreed Steve calmly.

"Maybe next time Uncle Steve you should be more clear as to whom the 'em' in your 'knock `em dead' statement was?" suggested Eric straight faced.

"Hindsight is always twenty twenty," nodded Steve thoughtfully.

"Talk about the enemy within," said Eric, still trying to take in what had just happened, "In one single sweep Joe managed to take out two of his own team members and then shoot himself."

"Whichever way you cut it, it was impressive," Steve agreed with him, "I don't think even…"

A sudden sound behind them interrupted Steve and Eric's discussion, both men having momentarily forgotten that the game wasn't over quite yet despite Joseph's best attempts. They whirled around to see that they weren't alone.

"Sweet…" Steve began but was interrupted by a paint ball bursting on his chest and made a pained grunting sound as it did.

"… ness," he managed weakly after dragging in a breath of air.

"Hello honey," said Kayla with a smug smile.

"Wow that's cold," said Eric with a shake of his head and then gave his most charming smile to Kayla, "Now Aunt Kayla, you wouldn't shoot your favourite nephew would you?"

"She wouldn't but I've got no qualms," said Nicole before Kayla could answer for herself, suddenly appearing from behind a tree and shooting Eric squarely in the chest.

"Ow!" he grunted and looked down at the mess on his front and then looked back at Nicole who was smirking at him triumphantly.

Without a single word Eric just pointed his paint ball gun at her and fired, the fallout somehow managing to splatter all over Nicole's face as well as her coveralls as it hit her in the chest.

"SON OF A BITCH!" yelled out Nicole and wiped at her now red face and glaring at Eric, "You were 'dead' Eric - you can't do that!"

"It was a death throes twitch," said Eric perfectly seriously, "Not my fault."

"I'm going to get you for that!" she hissed, grimacing when she put a hand to her hair and felt that it was all sticky as well.

"Hey why don't you tell me you love me and then run off and marry some other guy for five million dollars?" suggested Eric sweetly and then frowned before continuing on sarcastically, "Oh wait - you've done that already haven't you honey?"

**oooOOOOooo**

"You do realise that we can never speak of this ever again right?" Tracy posed the question to the group of men with a grin as they were all taking off their coveralls and putting their coats and jackets back on in a group.

"You do realise Tracy," replied Abe straight faced, "That that is simply _not_ going to be an option."

"I'm sure the women won't lord it over us," said Tracy with a shrug, "It was just a bit of fun after all."

"Easy to see the kid had never been married," commented Mickey stoically, "This little battle at waterloo is going to be rehashed at every get together and public gathering that we attend for years to come."

"Not counting the fact that there will probably be coverage of it on tomorrow's CNN news reports," said Steve fatalistically.

"Really?" said Tracy sceptically with a laugh, "I don't think the woman are as full of blood lust as you're all trying to make out."

"Don't be so sure," said Roman dourly, pulling on his coat.

"Yeah listen to the man Tracy," grinned Bo, "He got taken out by his own mother - that's got to tell you something!"

"Yeah well it was your wife leading the charge Bo," Roman shot back unhappily.

"Fancy face does have somewhat of the killer instinct about her," agreed Bo, not looking entirely displeased by the thought.

"So what did you think of your first 'John sponsored' event?" asked Eric with a grin to Tracy.

"There are no words," said Tracy with an answering grin, "And I'm glad the wedding is only two more days away now - I think I'm more excited about it than Christmas itself! I have a feeling it's going to be a total first for me in a lot of ways!"

If only Tracy knew how true that statement was going to end up being and how he probably wouldn't have been smiling quite as much as he was…

**oooOOOOooo**

"See you back at the house?" Sami smiled up at EJ dreamily, fresh or perhaps heated was a better word from their make out session.

"That you will Mrs DiMera," said EJ huskily, pulling her into his arms as everyone started to move towards their various vehicles, "And once there I was thinking I could do with a little help removing paint from some of the areas I can't reach and I'd of course return the favour."

"Above the waist of course," smiled Sami, leaning into him teasingly.

"Of course," sighed EJ, "Come tomorrow there are only two days to go so I guess I can last that long seeing as we've come this far… in theory."

"My hero," grinned Sami but feeling the same way.

"Just for future record Samantha," said EJ, looking very serious all of a sudden, "I am never going to agree to something like this again… ever!"

"Trust me EJ," said Sami ruefully, "I am never going to ask you to do something like this again… ever!"

"Oh thank god," groaned EJ, leaning down and pulling her into a hard kiss.

The two parties loaded up into their respective minibus and cars and headed off back to the DiMera mansion - the women high on their victory and the men madly trying to spin it so it didn't sound quite as much of a wipe out as it actually was for them. All in all it had been a highly successful couple of parties - no one got seriously hurt and they'd made a new friend in RomanTwo which was always nice and some funny stories to tell - mainly on the women's part of course.

"There's the look of a relieved man," Eric teased EJ as he sat next to him on the bus ride home.

"Indeed it is," grinned EJ, "After all the anxiety over these two parties it feels good to have them finally over with and know that everyone had a good time."

"Yup," agreed Eric, "I don't think anyone is going to have any complaints about tonight's fun and games, that's for sure."

**oooOOOOooo**

"Hello?" called out Rolf from his perch high up in the tree, "Iz anyvun zere? Iz za game over? Can I come down now? John… Elvis… hello…?"

His only answer was the sound of the wind in the trees and the occasional cricket.

"_Schiet_…!"


	74. Chapter 74

**Chapter SEVENTY FOUR **

**Two Days Until the Wedding…**

Sami rolled over in bed, slowly coming awake and realising there was a gentle knocking at the bed room door.

"Yes?" she called out.

"Hello sweetheart," she heard EJ's voice answer her, "I've got two wiggly worms desperate to see their Mummy here."

Sami grinned and sat up in bed, glancing at the clock as EJ walked in with a freshly dressed Johnny and Ali in his arms.

"You let me sleep in too late," she complained light heartedly to EJ as she held out her arms to her children.

"You needed to get your rest after last night's excitement," EJ dismissed her protest easily as he dropped first Ali and then Johnny lightly onto the bed and the bounced around in excitement as they scrambled towards their mother eagerly.

"I've got a lot to do today," she told him, throwing her arms around the twins as they practically tackled her back onto the bed with the combined force of their hello.

"You've had too much to do for far too long now," tutted EJ disapprovingly, "The next wedding we have you're going to let me help you out infinitely more that with this one."

"Our next wedding?" smiled Sami at him as she cuddled the twins and EJ crawled onto the bed to be with his little family.

"I'm just saying if there is another one then I want to be front and centre in the organisation department rather than you running yourself ragged," said EJ protectively.

"Stop worrying about me EJ," she told him with a warm smile at his concern, "I feel great."

"Promise?" he asked, still not really convinced.

"Cross my heart and hope to die," she grinned at him.

"Please don't ever say that," said EJ looking suddenly pained.

"You're such a worry wart EJ," she said with a shake of her head, "Isn't he, isn't your daddy a worrier?"

Sami addressed the twins and nodded her head at them which they of course mimicked and nodded back. Sami looked over at EJ and winked at him teasingly.

"How's your chest this morning anyway?" she asked him with a little smile, putting a hand out and resting it lightly on EJ's chest.

"Sore but I'll live," grinned EJ, "Don't worry, I'll be fighting fit for the wedding."

"You'd better be," growled Sami and gave him a sultry look, "I've got high expectations of you come our wedding night."

"Don't worry darling," said EJ, leaning over and kissing her hard over the top of the twins, "I'm going to be more than up for the challenge, trust me."

"Good," giggled Sami and gave him a quick kiss back as Johnny pulled himself up and wanted to join in, tired of being ignored.

He ran wet, open mouth kisses across his parents cheek and then Ali decided she wanted to join in, adding her own sloppy kisses to the mix.

"Well I guess I'm not going to have to worry about having a shower this morning," laughed Sami, wiping away toddler drool from her face.

"There is a certain moist quantity to their love," agreed EJ with a deep laugh which made the twins burst out laughing at hearing it, "Oh think that's funny do you?"

EJ grabbed both twins and gently threw them back on the bed.

"I'll show you funny shall I eh?" he asked his children who were grinning up at him madly.

EJ turned and looked at Sami expectantly.

"A little help Mummy?" he asked her and gave her a playful wink.

"Why yes Daddy," said Sami with a wink back, "I'd love to."

EJ pulled up Ali's little singlet and Sami did the same with Johnny before they both leant down and blew very noisy raspberries on each twin's exposed stomach. The twins howled with laughter, writhing around on the bed trying to wiggle free but Sami and EJ held each of them captive and just continued their merciless teasing. Marlena paused at Sami and EJ's door and smiled at the sound of the raucous goings on inside. She pushed on the door and looked inside, her smile widening to see them all rolling around on the bed together. Sami noticed her out of the corner of her eye and lifted her head, grinning at her mother.

"Hi Mom," she said happily.

"Hello honey," smiled Marlena, walking into the room more and the twins struggled to sit up, excited at seeing their grandmother.

"Gami!" they cried out and of course demanded a good morning cuddle which Marlena obliged them with of course.

"So are you all ready for the grand lighting of the Christmas tree tonight?" asked Marlena with a smile as she played with her grandchildren, "John is very excited about it."

"Yes," said Sami with a roll of her eyes, "That alone is worrying and the tree he got was absolutely huge!"

"This John certainly doesn't like to do things by half," agreed Marlena ruefully, "But it should be quite the show when all those lights go on, the twins will love it."

"They certainly will," agreed EJ with a smile, "They were so little for their last Christmas so this is going to make far more of an impression."

EJ looked at Sami lovingly then.

"And it will be our first Christmas as a proper family," he said softly, "I get to marry the woman of my dreams again and the next day is Christmas - it doesn't get much better than that I have to say."

"Well neither things are going to happen if I don't get out of bed and get this show on the road," said Sami with a sigh.

"Tell me what I can do Samantha," said EJ firmly, "I've only got to go into the office for a little while this morning and then I've got the next week off over Christmas so I'll be looking for things to do."

"I'll give you a list," relented Sami and then looked down at the twins, "Okay - who's for some breakfast now?"

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami had just put the twins for the morning nap and EJ wasn't back from the office as yet and Sami was getting herself prepared to make a few last minute phone calls to confirm details for the wedding. The marquee had been put up the day before and enclosed the paved patio area and down into an area of the garden. The chairs were all in place and there had been a special arbour erected per Sami's instructions for EJ and herself to exchange their vows under. The marquee provided protection from the cold December air whilst it still maintained an outdoor feel to the whole thing.

A separate marquee had been placed a little further down the garden and that was where the wedding reception would be held. The caterers and wedding organisers had been already in and even though there was another two days to go a lot of things had been installed. Tables, chairs and the infrastructure for the flowers and all the other details that go with a wedding. Everything was going surprisingly well and Sami was actually beginning to believe she was going to pull this off. She'd just picked up the phone in the living room to start making her calls when she heard a resounding cracking sound coming from the marquee outside. Sami gasped and ran out into the marquee and then gave another dismayed gasp at what she saw.

Somehow the intricate arbour that ran the length of the elevated stage that she and EJ were to stand on to exchange their vows had tilted to one side and snapped in the middle. Several pieces of wood were broken and the arch way was listing rather badly and looked like it was going to topple over any minute. Smokey suddenly appeared from the right and side of the little stage, fluffing his feathers and looking around casually.

"YOU!" hissed Sami, pointing an accusing finger at the bird, "You did this you… you… feathered fiend!"

Sami didn't know exactly how Smokey had managed this latest act of vandalism but she just knew it was his fault.

"Why do you do these things?!" she asked Sami in resigned horror, "What have we ever done to you?!"

Smokey turned around and wiggled his half tail feathers at Sami before strolling off.

"That was an accident!" she called out in exasperation after the peacock, "Get over it already why don't you!"

"What's all the shouting about?" asked John casually, strolling out to join Sami.

"Look!" said Sami, pointing at the broken archway, "Look what your feral bird has done John!"

"What makes you think Smokey is responsible?" asked John calmly.

"Because he's pure evil!" snapped Sami, storming back into the living room, "That's why! Now what am I going to do? It's three days before Christmas, the company that built this for me is closed for the Christmas week and now it's practically destroyed!"

"Bummer," said John stoically.

The sound of the front door bell being rung saved John from another blast from his step daughter. Sami frowned at the sound of the male voice and then Rolf walked with their guest into the living room and Sami realised who it was.

"RomanTwo," she said in surprise, "Hi."

"G'day," he grinned at her and John, "Sorry to barge in like this but I'm kind of looking for my pants - I don't suppose you might know anything about that at all Sami?"

"Oh yes," she nodded, "It was on my list of phone calls to make today. You left your um…"

"Stripper pants?" offered RomanTwo helpfully.

"Ah yes," said Sami with a bit of a laugh, "I picked them up and I've got them upstairs. I was going to ring your company and let them know I had them."

"I realised when I got home because I had changed into my sweat pants after the game," smiled RomanTwo, "I rang the paint ball range but they didn't have them so I was kind of hoping someone from the party had picked them up."

"I'll just go get them," said Sami, "I'll just be a minute."

"No probs," said RomanTwo easily.

Sami smiled at him and headed off to retrieve the requested pants leaving John and RomanTwo alone.

"So Stripper Roman," began John casually to which the other man took no offence, "You were going to tell me where I could get some pants like that…"

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ returned home to find John in the living room, pouring himself a drink of scotch.

"Uncle John," he greeted the other man, "Do you know where Samantha is?"

"In the garden marquee with Stripper Roman," John informed him, not turning around properly, "Last I saw them she was fiddling around with his pants."

EJ frowned, almost positive that this was a Johnism and not what was what was actually happening but nonetheless he made his way smartly towards the marquee that ran off the patio.

"That was some erection," EJ heard RomanTwo comment just before he got to them, "I might need a little while to get it back up but when I do I don't think you're going to be disappointed Sami."

EJ knew it was going to turn out to be a perfectly innocent conversation but he couldn't stop himself from stepping a little more lively through the back patio door and making his presence known.

"Hi honey," smiled Sami, her face lighting up at seeing him suddenly standing there.

"Hello sweetheart," said EJ, quickly crossing over and giving Sami a kiss before smiling at RomanTwo and holding his hand out for him to shake, "Good to see you again."

"You too mate," grinned RomanTwo, "Survived your party I see."

"Despite my own team members best efforts," agreed EJ ruefully.

"That Joe was a bit of a menace alright," laughed RomanTwo.

"RomanTwo came to pick up his pants," explained Sami, "He left them at the shooting range and I picked them up."

"Oh," smiled EJ calmly, "It was a bit of a flurry at the end there for sure… we did leave Rolf there after all."

"Oh yeah Rolf," said RomanTwo with a laugh, "He answered the door - I didn't see him at all last night - talk about stealth mode."

"He is pretty sneaky," agreed Sami ruefully.

"So what happened here exactly?" asked EJ with a bit of a frown, walking more into the marquee and surveying the broken arbour.

"Satan happened!" huffed Sami, still very annoyed at the bird.

"How?" frowned EJ, tilting his head and looking at the damage.

"How did he sneak those flamingos in the house?" asked Sami flatly, "How does he do anything - the power of Satan compels him!"

"Are you guys talking in some kind of code?" asked RomanTwo quizzically with a quirk of his lips.

"Smokey is one of our peacocks that gives us a bit of trouble from time to time," EJ explained calmly.

"Oh right," nodded RomanTwo, "There was some talk of peacocks last night. But Sami, come on, I don't really think a peacock could do this kind of damage."

"Tell that to EJ's butt," said Sami dryly, folding her arms in front of her chest.

"Really?" said RomanTwo, arching an interested eyebrow.

"It's a long story," said EJ quickly.

"Not that long honey," said Sami with a sweet smile, looking up at him teasingly.

"Well anyway," said EJ, moving on before Sami could reveal any more details of that little encounter, "I have a plan to take care of Smokey for the wedding so you needn't worry about him on the actual day sweetheart."

"Does this 'taking care of' involve seven secret herbs and spices?" asked Sami hopefully.

"No," laughed EJ, "But hopefully it will be just as effective."

Sami looked over at RomanTwo then.

"So do you think you can get it fixed before the twenty fourth RomanTwo?" she asked him anxiously.

"No worries mate," he said with an easy smile and a wink, "I'll have this as right as rain in no time so don't give it another thought."

"You can do carpentry?" asked EJ in surprise.

"It's my original trade," nodded RomanTwo, "I just do the stripping thing because it pays so well. When Sami told her about her little problem here I offered to help out."

"How well does the other job pay if you don't mind me asking?" asked EJ curiously.

"If I have a few parties on I can easily make a couple of grand no worries in a week including tips," said RomanTwo casually.

"Really?" exclaimed EJ, his eyes widening, "Clearly I've entered the wrong profession in becoming a lawyer."

"Take it from me mate," said RomanTwo with a laugh, "You should take your clobber off while you're doing your thing and you can double your money!"

"Oh no!" said Sami, putting a possessive arm around EJ's waist, "No one sees my man naked except for me!"

"And your mother apparently," interjected John suddenly reappearing again.

"For the very last time Uncle," said EJ in exasperation, "That was an _accident_! Can we please move on!"

"This is some household you've got going here," commented RomanTwo with a shake of his head.

"Stick around," said EJ wryly, "You ain't seen nothing yet."


	75. Chapter 75

**Chapter SEVENTY FIVE **

"Okay little twins," said Eric, taking a hand each of Ali and Johnny, "Big fun time now when Great turns on the Christmas tree lights."

The twins and their uncle toddled out onto the back patio area where the tree John had purchased was eventually placed, not without some drama of course.

"It's a shame John couldn't have gotten a bigger tree," commented Eric to EJ straight faced.

"Indeed," nodded EJ just as seriously, "Apparently this is a reject tree from Rockefeller centre - they wanted something a little less ostentatious as it turned out."

The two men had to crane their heads right back to look up at the simply enormous tree John had secured for the family. It really was huge, standing over fifteen feet tall and had presented quite the challenge to getting it inside. John had insisted it would fit through the doors and into the living room. EJ and Eric and insisted that it wouldn't and after much pushing and pulling, wedging and unwedging, upward and downward angling through the doors John had finally conceded that there was an outside possibility that the tree wouldn't fit through the doors.

"Are you two maligning the tree again?" called out John from the living room.

"No Uncle John," EJ called back and then grinned, "Just the hernias you gave us all trying to fit the thing in through the doors."

"I still say we could have done it," grumped John, "You two just gave up too easily."

"We gave up when it started to get bloody John," answered Eric ruefully, rubbing the still healing wound on his hand.

"Next time move faster," said John unsympathetically.

"I was stuck in a door frame with a forest lodged up against my chest," protested Eric, "I couldn't even move slowly!"

"John why are you yelling like that?" asked Marlena as she and Sami with Roger on her shoulder walked into the room, "Go and join the boys."

"I'm getting my scotch," he informed her, "And they started it."

"Well are we almost ready to do the lighting thing?" asked Sami, putting down Roger and letting him scamper out to find the children, "We need to get the twins to bed soon."

"Hold your stallions wild cat," said John calmly, "We're getting there."

"Horses," corrected Sami with a roll of her eyes, "Hold your horses John."

"A stallion is a kind of a horse right?" asked John with a frown.

"Well yes," nodded Sami.

"So what's the problem?" asked John flatly.

"It's just not how the saying goes," said Sami in exasperation.

"Sweetheart when you come out can you bring the star for the top of the tree please?" EJ called out and negated any further need for Sami to do battle with John and she took the opportunity to escape gladly.

Sami walked out onto the patio and saw EJ and Eric patiently stopping the twins from grabbing at the shiny ornaments within their reach.

"You know," said Sami thoughtfully, "It's probably just as well that the tree ended up outside otherwise we would have been rescuing the tree from the twins all day long."

"Too true," agreed EJ with a little laugh, wrestling a bit of tinsel out of the death grip Ali currently had on it.

"The star," pronounced Sami, holding up the large silver star that was to adorn the top of the Christmas tree.

"You know," she said wistfully, "It's a family tradition that the Mom gets to put the star on top of the tree every year."

"Well I'm afraid I'm going to have to veto that little tradition because there is no way I'm letting either yourself or Marlena go anywhere near the top of that thing sweetheart," said EJ firmly, "It's simply not safe."

"Not to mention you'd probably need an oxygen tank," commented Eric, tongue in cheek.

"I guess you're right," sighed Sami, "So how are we going to do this then."

"Well I suggest we do it the way we did all the top most decorations," said EJ calmly, "Roger."

"Okay little buddy," said Eric, clapping his hands together for Roger to come to him, "It's your turn to shine."

Roger ran over to Eric and jumped up into his arms.

"Do you think the star is too big for him to carry?" worried Sami.

"No," said EJ, "He's surprisingly strong aren't you Roger?"

Roger chattered is agreement and Sami handed him the star.

"Okay Rog," instructed Eric, "Right up the top of the tree with this one."

Roger tucked the star under his arm and leapt from Eric's arms to the tree, climbing up it incredibly quickly.

"Way to hustle there Roger," encouraged Eric with a grin.

"I wonder how many people can say their tree has been decorated by a monkey?" asked Sami ruefully.

"About as many as can say they have thirteen large birds looking on," said EJ with a quirk of his lips and tilting his head towards the garden where the seven peacocks and six flamingos had amassed and were watching the proceedings with great interest.

"Yup," sighed Sami ruefully, "We live in a zoo alright."

"Oh good job Roger," Marlena praised him as the little monkey placed the star squarely on the very top branch, "He's just so very clever, it's amazing really."

Roger scurried down the tree now, not even dislodging any ornaments as he went and returned to Eric's arms.

"Where's Rolf?" asked Sami, looking around, "He should be here for this."

"He's just hooking the last bit up of the wiring up," said John.

Rolf appeared then and nodded at John.

"It iz done John," he said and John nodded back.

"Alright then, let's lose the lights and do this," said John and EJ went and turned off the lights in the living room and patio before returning and taking a seat with Sami, the twins between them on the bench.

John stood to one side of the Christmas tree as Eric came up and put his arm around his mother and Rolf stood by the French doors.

"Boy Baby… Girl Baby," began John, "Seeing as this is your first Christmas in this house I thought we should mark the occasion somehow and seeing as your father…"

John sent EJ a vaguely accusing look then before continuing.

"… nixed my snow leopard idea…" said John blithely.

"Snow leopard?" repeated Sami, suddenly looking stricken.

"It's alright sweetheart," said EJ, reaching over the twins and putting his arm around her shoulder, "Common sense managed to win through on the end with that one."

"Thank goodness," said Sami, looking relieved.

"May I finish?" asked John with a pout.

"Of course Uncle," said EJ calmly, "Carry on."

"Thank you," said John and went back to talking to the twins who were looking at him with rapt attention, "I decided this was not as good but at least it wouldn't mean I'd have to stock up on animals lower down in the food chain to a leopard."

"And I think we can all agree that is a good thing," nodded Eric sagely.

"So," said John with picking up the switch he had that was at his feet, "Here is the runner up in the ideas area - a little traditional but you can blame your father for that."

John flicked the switch then and the tree light up… well, like a Christmas tree really. Everyone made appreciative gasps at the beautiful sight. The twins eyes nearly fell out of their head with how wide their eyes opened at the sight.

"WOW!" said Ali and made everyone laugh at the awe in her voice.

EJ and Sami looked down in delight at the wonderment on their children's faces as they gazed in admiration at the spectacle in front of them. Johnny promptly stood up then and began clapping his hands and Ali quickly followed suit and then the adults and even Roger joined in. John looked pleased at the reaction and nodded at them all.

"That is beautiful John," said Sami with a big smile, "The twins love it."

"It really is something," agreed Eric.

"I don't think I've ever seen a tree so beautiful," announced Marlena.

"You've outdone yourself Uncle," chipped in EJ.

They all made approving noises as they took in the loveliness in front of them and even the peacocks seemed to be making some happy squawks in the back ground.

"You haven't even seen the best bit yet," said John with a self satisfied smile.

"The best bit?" repeated EJ, suddenly feeling afraid.

"This is only low beam," he informed his nephew, "This is high beam."

And with that John flicked another switch and suddenly there was this simply blinding light filling not only the patio but it seemed the entire garden as the Christmas tree lights were kicked up several notches.

Everyone except John cried out in horror and Sami and EJ quickly reacted, covering the twin's eyes before closing their own and praying that no one was going to get permanent eye damage at having to endure such a bright light.

"Uncle John!"

"John!"

Sami and EJ both cried out their disapproval as one.

"Oh my god!" exclaimed Eric, putting a hand to his eyes to shield them from the brilliance, "It would be less bright if we were on the sun!"

"John turn it down!" exclaimed Marlena, having to turn away when simply closing her eyes wasn't enough, "You're blinding everyone!"

Roger had cried out and headed inside the house rather sensibly and the peacocks and flamingos had made a dash for the hills as night suddenly became day. John looked put out at the reaction and returned the lights to 'low beam' as he put it and everyone slowly regained the use of their eyes.

"I told you zey vould not like it John," said Rolf knowingly who, as he'd been forewarned had the foresight to put on sunglasses.

"But they liked the first lights," protested John, "So this had to be better right?"

"Sometimes more isn't better," said EJ in exasperation as both he and Sami checked on the twins who didn't seem to be having any ill effects from it all due to their parent's quick reactions, "Sometimes it is just more!"

"I still say you can't have too much of a good thing," huffed John.

"Please John," said Marlena firmly, "Never put that tree on 'high beam' again alright?"

"Unless you happen to be landing a Boeing 777," said Eric ironically, blinking rapidly as his eyes began to water, "Then go for it."

**oooOOOOooo**

"How hard were the twins to put down tonight?" asked Sami with a laughing groan as she leant back against their bedroom door.

"Yes," nodded EJ ruefully, "There must be something about being exposed to a roomful of blinding light that is very stimulating to a toddler."

"I've still got spots before eyes," said Sami with a shake of her head and blinking rapidly, "Trust John to take something simple like that to the extreme."

"Mm," agreed EJ, "The Great Wall of China and our Christmas tree - the only two man made objects that you can see from space."

Sami laughed at that and EJ joined in.

"Hey," she said and straightened up from the door, putting her hands to the lapels of his coat and sliding them up and down, "Do you know what tonight is EJ?"

"The second last night I have to leave you at the door and go and sleep in my big, lonely and cold bed," offered EJ with an arch of his eyebrow.

"Yes it is," grinned Sami, leaning closer into him and pressing her body up against his as she tilted her head right back to look up at him, "This time in two more days…"

"This time in two more days I'm going to be standing here naked," EJ interrupted her with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

"What right here?" teased Sami, "In the hallway?"

"Where ever you are is where I'll be and if people don't want to get an eyeful then they should close their eyes," said EJ unapologetically.

"Well seeing as we're trying to cut back on the number of people that have seen each other naked in this house I'd better make sure I'm behind closed doors this time in two days hadn't I?" she said in amusement.

"It's up to you but I intend to be making love to my gorgeous wife at that time so if you've happened to pop out to check the mail box at that moment I can't really be held responsible for the fact that I'm ravishing you on the front lawn now can I?" he asked her with a cheeky grin, "I have just warned you after all."

"In the front yard you say?" said Sami with a little laugh, moving in ever closer to him, "Who's an eager boy then?"

"Me," said EJ quickly, putting his arms around Sami's waist, his hands splaying out and cupping her bottom cheeks, "I'm an eager boy, I am, me."

Sami began to laugh but EJ didn't let her continue, swooping down and claiming her mouth in a show of just how eager he really was. Sami groaned and went up on her toes so she could put her arms around his neck and hang onto him tightly as her knees went weak and her head began to spin wildly.

"I promise you Mrs DiMera," said EJ throatily when he finally managed to make himself kissing her, his breathing rough and uneven, "Christmas is going to come early this year for us."

"As long as that is the only thing that… _comes_… early," she purred cheekily, rubbing herself against the hard evidence of his arousal after only a few simple kisses.

"I make no promises," he said to her unsteadily, looking down at her adoringly, "You've put me through hell these last weeks and one look from you is enough nowadays to set me off."

"Oh," said Sami and opened her eyes wide, looking up at him ever so innocently, "So if I was to tell you something like… I'm so wet right now that…"

"God!" said EJ sharply, not letting her finish as he took a couple of steps forward and backed Sami up against the door, pushing his body up against hers, almost lifting her off the ground as he fitted her against him more fully, "Don't!"

"You'd push my legs open…" she whispered in his ear, ignoring his desperate plea, "And find out for yourself how soaking wet I am from what you've already done to me…"

"God… god…" EJ chanted brokenly into Sami's neck as she tortured him with her words, picturing it so clearly in his head.

"You'd push into me in one brutal thrust, knowing I could take it and still beg for more," she said breathlessly, working herself up too as she continued to whisper in his ear, arms around his neck again.

"Yes!" he growled the word now, hands going to her bottom cheeks again and kneading them roughly as his lower body began to rock against hers of its own accord.

"I want you to touch my breasts but there is no time because I need to come so badly," she told him softly, her body echoing his gentle thrusts as they both picked up speed, "I know you're close, can feel you getting bigger all the time inside of me… I'm having to stretch so much to take you… god, it's glorious… I'm getting wetter every second you're in me and you're loving it so much… pounding into me as hard as you can, not even caring if you're hurting me, just needing to get off now and it's getting me so excited to see you out of control like that… I can't stand it and I start to come…"

"Stop… stop…!" he begged her helplessly, feeling himself begin to lose what little control he had if she said one more word, "Oh god sweetheart you're going to make me come right now if you don't stop!"

Sami gave a frustrated groan and pressed her core hard against him one more time, enjoying the little pulse of pleasure it gave her but then pulling away from him a little so her body was so tightly pressed to his. She loosened her grip on EJ's neck and leant back against the door, both of their breathing now laboured. Sami looked up at EJ and saw that he was now covered with a fine sheen of sweat and gave a self satisfied smile even though she knew she must look no better.

"Teasing vixen," EJ complained with a broken groan, resting his sweaty forehead against hers as he looked down at her in doting frustration, "Why do you love to torture me like that?"

"Because it gets me hot," she told him impishly, her arms going around his waist as she playfully nipped at his bottom lip.

"God but I'm going to make you pay for this," EJ growled as he straightened up and hauled her into his arms, "The things I'm going to do to you Mrs DiMera… the revenge I'm going to exact for all this torment… you have no idea."

"I've got a couple of ideas," said Sami mischievously, resting her cheek on his chest and snuggling into him as they stood there hugging, his heart rate still very uneven and she smiled to hear it.

They stood like that for a couple of minutes, just enjoying being in each others arms and basically trying to calm down again.

"You're going to have to let me go soon EJ," said Sami and she meant to say that lightly, teasing him but it was decidedly more regretful in the end.

"Never," he vowed and tightened his grip on her.

"We can't sleep standing up EJ," she giggled against his chest.

"Horses can do it," and she felt him give a little shrug, "I say we give it a crack… what do you say darling?"

Sami giggled again at his silliness but before she could answer him a voice came to them from down the hall.

"I AM COMING OUT OF MY ROOM… I AM CLOSING THE DOOR…"

Eric's voice boomed down to them from further up the hallway as he came out of his room.

"I AM WALKING DOWN THE HALLWAY TOWARDS THE STAIRS… WITH MY EYES CLOSED… BECAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD ANY THERAPY…"

EJ and Sami looked down at Eric as he began to walk down the hallway, one hand running along the wall to guide himself. EJ and Sami looked back at each other and smiled ruefully. Eric had caught them during one particularly heated make out session a few days back and ever since he'd been very careful about not having a repeat performance. The two of them stepped back to let him pass, watching him in amusement.

"NO NEED TO STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING… CAN'T SEE OR HEAR A THING… JUST GOING DOWNSTAIRS TO GET A SNACK…"

Eric had gotten to the staircase now and his hand was flailing around looking for the banister to guide him the rest of the way.

"Open your eyes idiot otherwise you'll break your neck falling down the stairs!" Sami chided him affectionately, "And then I'd have to kill you with my bare hands for not being at my wedding and I just got my nails done and don't want to risk breaking one."

"Is it safe?" asked Eric cautiously, opening one eye hesitantly to see Sami and EJ regarding him with smiles on their faces as they stood side by side in front of their bedroom door.

Eric relaxed then at seeing them like that and smiled.

"Oh," he grinned, "Just didn't want to take any chances."

"Is it really that awful to see your sister kissing her husband?" asked Sami with a roll of her eyes at Eric's dramatics.

"Kissing no," said Eric, "But what you guys were doing the other day was not my definition of kissing and yes… in answer to your question sis… it _was_ awful… really, really awful!"

"You're just jealous," Sami teased him as Eric started down the stairs.

"EJ's not my type," called back Eric easily, "I like them shorter and more breastier!"

Both Sami and EJ both laughed at that.

"What do you know," said EJ with a lecherous look, his hands going to cup her ample breasts now that they were alone again, "Your brother and I look for the same thing in a woman."

"EJ," she laughed back up at him and tried to give him a disapproving look but she wasn't exactly rushing to swat his hands away, "You're such a bad boy."

"Mm," he smiled down at her ducking his head and beginning to lick and nip at the sensitive skin of her neck as his hands began to massage her breasts slowly, "In another forty eight hours Samantha I'm going to show you just how true that statement is."

"Oh yes," sighed Sami happily, leaning back against the door, "Bring it on."


	76. Chapter 76

**Chapter SEVENTY SIX**

Ten minutes later after having left EJ and Sami to it Eric walked from the kitchen into the living room with a glass of milk and several cookies piled up on top of it and a bowl full of Rolf's cheese balls in his other hand. He took a seat on the couch and settled himself in just as EJ walked into the room and gave a little smile to see him so loaded up with food.

"Cheese ball?" he offered, holding the bowl of cheesy goodness out to the other man.

"Thanks," said EJ absently, taking a couple of the snacks as he moved past Eric to sit in one of the arm chairs nearby.

"Man," said Eric with a shake of his head as he popped a couple into his mouth, "I don't know what Rolf puts into these puppies but I just can't get enough of them."

Eric frowned then and looked at the appetisers suspiciously all of a sudden.

"Hey, you don't think there are actual puppies in this do you EJ?" asked Eric, straight faced.

"I wish I could give you a resounding no on that one," replied EJ, just as seriously, "But this is Rolf we're talking about after all."

Eric looked down at the now questionable cheese balls with a considered look.

"Oh well," he said brightly, picking up another couple of the treat and chomping down on them happily.

EJ looked at him in amusement.

"What?" shrugged Eric, "It's not like we can do anything about it now if that is the case and I'd hate to think the little guys died for nothing."

EJ shook his head at Eric's carry on.

"Don't judge me!" said Eric with feigned indignation, "I'm battling a real addiction here!"

"You and your sister both," said EJ indulgently, "I swear I think these things are the only thing Samantha's eating nowadays."

"I know," sighed Eric, "That's why I keep making her have snacks with me throughout the day."

"You do?" asked EJ in surprise.

"Yeah," nodded Eric casually, "Sami's always had a bit of a dicey relationship with food on and off over the years and I like to keep an eye on her with that kind of stuff. The trick is not to do a full frontal attack with her over it though - you've got to kind of edge in under the radar so that she doesn't get her back up and go all defensive."

EJ smiled, very happy to know that Sami had another man in her life that noticed such details about her.

"Don't worry," said Eric, seeing the look of relief on EJ's face, "I've got your back on this one - I love her too you know."

"I know you do," said EJ warmly, "And I'm very glad about that."

"I'm sure this eating thing is just the stress of the wedding," continued on Eric, "Whenever Sami's had food issues she's been really unhappy but anyone can see that she is deliriously happy right now and I love seeing my sister like that."

"It is great isn't it?" grinned EJ, loving that he'd been able to give Sami the safety and security that she'd craved for so long.

"Of course the horniness I could live without," said Eric ruefully, "What were you thinking when you agreed to this whole abstinence thing EJ?"

"We were both naked at the time if that answers your question any," supplied EJ with a quirk of his lips.

"Say no more," said Eric quickly, holding up his hand, "I get the picture… unfortunately."

"I love Samantha so much," sighed EJ happily.

"I can see that," nodded Eric and smiled at the other man, "I can't work out if you're brave or foolhardy taking on Sami Brady you know - she's got a somewhat of a chequered history."

"I like a bit of wildness in my women," said EJ mischievously.

"Then you my friend have hit the jackpot," laughed Eric, knowing his sister's sometimes errant ways but not loving her any the less because of it.

"And then some," agreed EJ blissfully, "She makes me so very happy and I adore that impulsive spirit of hers and the way she is so reactive and heartfelt in everything she does…"

EJ trailed off then and looked at Eric a bit sheepishly.

"But you probably don't want to hear me wax lyrical about your sister," he said.

"I like it," said Eric with a nod, "I've spent many years defending Sami and it's kind of nice to be able to agree with someone for a change. Go for it but just remember before your descriptions get any more graphic - please keep in mind that is my sister we're talking about and in my head she's still a virgin despite having three children."

EJ gave a little chuckle at that.

"So if we can keep all the comments at the PG13 level I won't need to develop a drinking problem to cope," said Eric cheerfully, "So if you can do that feel free to wax on my friend."

"I think I can manage to do that," grinned EJ and for the next twenty minutes he did just that.

**oooOOOOooo**

Marlena smiled up at John as they broke their kiss.

"That was a lovely thing you did before John," she said affectionately, "I really loved it."

"Thanks," said John straight faced, "I've been practicing on my hand with the kissing and if you liked that then you should see what…"

"The lighting of the Christmas tree John," Marlena interrupted him quickly before things got any more graphic, "Going to all that effort for your family was really lovely."

"Oh," said John with a bit of a frown, "But you enjoyed the tongue thing too right?"

"Yes John," said Marlena indulgently, finding herself growing ever more attached to this new John's ways, "It was quite… unexpected but still… very nice."

"Nice but not swoon inducing?" asked John, sounding a little disappointed now, "You didn't feel the earth move or go light headed as your heart beat erratically in your heaving bosom?"

"You know I think it's time we started weaning you off those romance novels," said Marlena with a rueful pout of her lips.

"That was where I got that sucking thing from you seemed to enjoy so much," commented John stoically, "Although I always meant to check on that - were you enjoying yourself or trying to sneeze?"

"I was enjoying myself John," said Marlena with a flush, remembering the incident quite clearly - he'd certainly caught her off guard with that one!

"Oh," said John again, "Good to know - then that is a keeper then."

"I'd like that," said Marlena with a little smile, "John can I ask you something?"

"Sure," he nodded, "Like a math's question you mean?"

"Ah no," said Marlena with a shake of her head.

"Geography question?" he tried again, "Taxidermy question?"

"No it's about… ah… taxidermy?" repeated Marlena sceptically, "What do you know about taxidermy John?"

"I know it makes the job a whole lot easier if the animal is already dead first," said John calmly.

"Okay," said Marlena slowly, "That was a little distressing but we'll move on shall we?"

"Can we move onto the bed?" asked John, ever hopeful.

"No," said Marlena with a shake of her head.

"Alright," said John, not giving up, "We could always do it standing up - I'm pretty confident I could pull that off."

"We're not having sex tonight John," said Marlena firmly.

"Do we have an ETA of when we might actually get around to that Blondie?" asked John calmly, "I want to make sure and mark it on the calendar."

"The one in the kitchen?" asked Marlena, suddenly looking stressed.

"Do we have another?" asked John with interest.

"You see comments like that are the reason that we haven't made love yet John," said Marlena in exasperation.

"I'm being penalised for being organised?" asked John, looking put out, "How is that fair?"

"Look this isn't what I wanted to ask you," said Marlena with a roll of her eyes, "I was wondering how your speech for the wedding was coming along?"

"Fine," said John.

"Fine?" repeated Marlena hesitantly, "You don't want to add anymore to that statement at all?"

"Thank you for asking?" suggested John with a shrug of his shoulders, uncertain what Marlena wanted him to say.

"It's just that EJ and Sami are a little concerned about what might be in that speech John," said Marlena.

"They're just uptight because they're not getting any," dismissed EJ easily, "If they'd go back to having sex on the kitchen table like before then we wouldn't even be having this conversation."

"They had sex on the kitchen table?" asked Marlena in vague horror.

"They've had sex everywhere," said John easily.

"Oh," said Marlena, looking a little stricken.

"Come on Blondie - we had sex on a conference room table," reasoned John, "… apparently."

"That was… different," said Marlena, her cheeks heating at the memory.

"How?" asked John in confusion.

"Well, we… um… ah," Marlena floundered in her explanation, "It just was okay?!"

John just tilted his head and gave her an intent look.

"Do you think I'd be able to have a look at the speech before you give it please John?" requested Marlena, abandoning that conversation and returning to her original question.

"No," said John, "I want it to be a surprise."

"That's pretty much what everyone is worried about," said Marlena ruefully, "Look at the last thing you did to surprise me John. You told me to expect a little something to be delivered to my office last week."

"Yes," nodded John.

"It was a ham!" said Marlena in exasperation, "You had a huge leg of ham sent to my office! I thought you were going to send me flowers!"

"You can't eat flowers," pointed out John practically, "Ham you can eat."

"Yes but you don't have it delivered to a person's place of work," Marlena tried to explain.

"Why not?" frowned John.

"Because you don't!" said Marlena, giving up on yet another conversation with him, "Surprises should be unexpected and something you don't really need - that's what makes them so great and romantic."

"Like if I booked you in for a vasectomy?" offered John completely seriously, "That would be unexpected and something you don't really need."

"NO!" said Marlena in anguish, despairing yet again at how his mind worked, "That is not what I meant at all!"

"Let me think on it some more," said John, looking suddenly thoughtful.

"You do that," said Marlena in exasperation, "And I'm suddenly tired so maybe you should go now John?"

"Alright," he nodded distractedly, obviously thinking hard about what she'd just said.

He turned to head out the door but then turned back around suddenly, raising his hands as he gave her his next idea.

"I leap out of the bushes unexpectedly at you dressed as a giant panda and…" he began but Marlena stopped him before he could get any further.

"GO!" she ordered him with an imperious finger.

"You haven't heard the best bit yet," he pouted.

"And I don't want to," she said firmly, "Good night John."

Marlena closed her bedroom door and leant back on it heavily - just when she thought they were making headway. John meanwhile had some serious thinking to do and as it turned out Marlena was probably going to wish she'd have let him go with the giant panda idea.


	77. Chapter 77

**Chapter SEVENTY SEVEN **

**One Day Until the Wedding…**

"Hi Rolf," said Lexie with a smile, greeting the older man who had opened the door for her, "All recovered from the bachelor party I see."

"I vas left in a tree," said Rolf flatly.

Clearly it was still a sore point with him.

"EJ said he went back for you," said Lexie brightly, trying not to smile.

"I vas half vay home," said Rolf, obviously not mollified by her spin on things, "He nearly hit me vis za car!"

"He said you were walking in the middle of the road," said Lexie in her brother's defence.

Rolf just looked back at her, looking unimpressed.

"Ah… is Sami in?" she asked, still covering the smile that was threatening to escape regardless of her best attempts.

"Ya," said Rolf in resignation, stepping back to let Lexie come in, "Zamantha iz upstairz in her bedroom having za fitting of za vedding dress."

"Oh," smiled Lexie, "Do you think she will mind me going up."

"Who knowz," shrugged Rolf, "Zat vone iz all over za place nowadayz."

"She's organising a wedding Rolf," said Lexie, "It's a very stressful thing."

"Oh ya," said Rolf with a roll of his eyes, "Tell me about it."

His beloved kitchen had been set upon for the last two days now in preparation for the event byt the caterers and he wasn't happy about it. They were touching all his things and rearranging everything. All Rolf knew that if anyone touched his cupboard there would be hell to pay!

"I'll just see myself up," said Lexie, backing away from the suddenly murderous look on Rolf's face, "No need to bother yourself anymore Rolf on my account."

"Hmf," snorted Rolf, "You vould be the only one!"

"Okay," said Lexie slowly and decided that she should leave Rolf to whatever it was that he normally did.

She turned around and headed up the stairs, making a mental note to let her brother know that his butler seemed to be hanging by a thread for some reason. Her amusement at Rolf quickly dissipated though as she climbed the stairs to see Sami, remembering the reason for her visit. She'd gotten Sami's lab results back and she'd found them very troubling. Lexie dreaded doing this so close to the wedding but her professionalism told her that she couldn't let it be - her duty of care was towards her patient, first and foremost. Lexie stood at the bedroom door and knocked quietly.

"That had better not be you EJ DiMera!" she heard Sami call out, "I told you - no previews mister!"

"It's me," called back Lexie.

"You're not working as a spy for that brother of yours are you?" called back Sami with a little laugh and Lexie grimaced to hear Sami so happy and carefree, knowing she was going to ruin that.

"No," replied Lexie with a little laugh, "I promise. Can I come in Sami?"

"Okay," she said, "But no reporting back to EJ - alright?"

"I promise," said Lexie and opened the door.

Lexie paused at the bedroom door and smiled to see Sami standing there, all decked out in her wedding dress, having her final fitting.

"Lexie," Sami smiled, turning around and seeing her there.

Sami made a little sweeping motion with her hand, indicating her dress.

"What do you think?" she asked with a grin, "Do you think EJ will approve?"

"I don't think that is in any doubt of that," smiled Lexie softly, walking into the room, "You could wear a sack to this wedding and my brother would still find you the most beautiful woman in the room."

Sami smile widened at that, knowing it was true, EJ had a way about him that made her feel like no other woman could possibly compare to her in his eyes and she loved it.

"We're going to have to take in a couple of seams," the dressmaker informed Sami who was there making the last adjustments.

"I've lost some weight," nodded Sami happily, "Couldn't have come at a better time!"

Lexie's nerves tightened at that, thinking of the lab results she had in her bag and then gave Sami a troubled look.

"What?" asked Sami, seeing Lexie's expression, "What's wrong Lexie?"

"Sami," she began hesitantly, "I really need to speak to you… alone."

Sami felt her nerves tighten at the expression on her sister in laws face and then turned around and smiled brightly at the seamstress.

"Are we almost done here Eve?" she asked the older woman.

"Sure honey," replied Eve, "I've got all I need, why don't you slip out of the dress and I'll make those adjustments and have it all ready for you first thing tomorrow morning."

"Thanks Eve," smiled Sami.

A few minutes later Eve was on her way and Sami had changed back into her regular clothes. Sami walked back into the bedroom from the bathroom where she'd changed to see Lexie still standing in the middle of the room, looking a little solemn.

"Okay then," sighed Sami, taking a seat on the bed and looking up at Lexie, "Let's hear it then, you've clearly got something on your mind Lexie - what is it?"

"I've got your lab results back Sami," began Lexie.

"And?" she prompted her, "I'm guessing there is some kind of problem because you wouldn't have come all the way over here just to tell me everything is fine. What is it Lexie?"

Sami didn't know why she was being so calm about all this but she just was for some reason.

"Your blood works show you're extremely anaemic Sami," said Lexie hesitantly.

"Anaemic?" repeated Sami, sounding relieved, "Is that all - you had me worried there for a minute Lexie. Anaemia is no big deal… is it?"

"It is common," agreed Lexie with a frown, "But that doesn't mean that it isn't a big deal - especially one as bad as yours is."

"Well how bad is bad?" asked Sami with a frown of her own.

"Your haemoglobin level should be around 115 - at least," Lexie informed her, "Instead it is 76 and I have to say I find that very worrying Sami."

"But don't I just eat more meat or something?" asked Sami, still not thinking it was that big a deal.

"To give you an idea Sami," said Lexie in mild exasperation that Sami wasn't taking this more seriously, "If you were in hospital right now I would seriously be considering giving you a blood transfusion just to get that Hb back up as quickly as I could."

"I can't have a blood transfusion!" said Sami in horror, her hand going unconsciously to her the crook of her arm and covering it protectively, "I'll have bruises for the wedding photos!"

"Samantha!" said Lexie with a roll of her eyes and reverting to using her whole name like her brother did, "I think you've got more pressing things to be concerned about here then wedding photo's!"

"Isn't there something else I can do?" asked Sami anxiously.

"I can give you some tablets that have iron and folate in them to help boost your levels up," said Lexie.

"Pills," said Sami quickly, "That sounds great - let's do that then Lexie."

"Sami my main concern just isn't in treating this but in rather finding out why you've got such an extreme anaemia in the first place," Lexie pressed on, "EJ has said that you haven't been eating much lately, why is that?"

"I just haven't been hungry and I've been busy," said Sami defensively, "I don't have an eating disorder Lexie!"

"No one is saying you do Sami," said Lexie, coming to sit beside her on the bed, "I'm just trying to work out whether this is simply a nutritional problem or something else going on."

"Like?" asked Sami, looking a bit worried.

"Like an absorption problem or some internal bleeding," supplied Lexie.

"Bleeding?" repeated Sami, sounding mildly horrified.

"Look," said Lexie, trying to be reassuring and yet make Sami understand how important this was, "Lack of appropriate nutrition is the number one cause of this kind of anaemia Sami and considering the surgery you've recently undergone and you apparently eating less that could explain it but I'm not willing to make any assumptions here. You have a very severe anaemia Sami - in fact I don't know how it is that you are even standing - you must be exhausted all the time."

"I'm a mom Lexie," said Sami with a shrug, "Aren't all mom's tired?! And life in this house could hardly be called peaceful - there is always something happening. I just thought it was normal."

"Sami," said Lexie with a shake of her head, "I'll give you some pills to take now and you have to promise to start eating better straight away. I still want to do further investigations though, why don't you have EJ bring you to…"

"NO!" said Sami sharply, shaking her head, "You can't tell EJ Lexie, you can't!"

"But…" Lexie went to protest and Sami interrupted her again.

"Lexie," she said, beginning to get upset, "Tomorrow EJ and are getting married again… properly, like it should have been in the first place. We've already put this off two other times and I am not going to allow anything to ruin it now! We have fought so hard to be together and we've had to overcome so many obstacles. I just want one perfect day we can always look back on and remember with happiness. Our last wedding was so horrible for so many reasons and I just don't want anything like that for this one. I want to be able to give EJ the wedding he deserves for having put up with all the things I put him through and I want to be able to tell all my family and friends how much I love him and what his love means to me. I'm not going to let this ruin it for us!"

"Sami we all know how much you and EJ love each other," said Lexie, trying to calm her down, "We don't need to go to your wedding to see that. I think your health is a far more important consideration by far and I'm sure my brother would agree."

"EJ is going to have no say in this because EJ isn't going to know," said Sami determinedly, "All it that will happen is that he'll fret and worry and our day will be ruined and I don't want that."

"Sami this is serious," said Lexie, not giving up, "You need to have this investigated."

"And I will Lexie," said Sami quickly , "But I'm going to have this wedding and Christmas with my family and I'm not going to ruin it by having them worry over me. As soon as Christmas has passed, I promise you I'll be there front and centre to have more tests done - I promise Lexie - just don't tell EJ."

"_Knock, knock sweetheart… is my beautiful wife in there at all?"_

Sami and Lexie both froze at the sound of EJ's voice on the other side of the door. Sami sent a frantic, pleading look at Lexie and though she still looked troubled she nodded, giving in to Sami's request.

"Boxing day," she whispered firmly to Sami, "Without fail, do you hear me Sami?"

"Yes," Sami promised her hastily, her own voice low, "Thank you Lexie!"

"_Samantha?"_

"I'm here EJ," she called back to him.

"_Now I know I'm not allowed to see the wedding dress until the actual day," said EJ and she could hear the teasing tone in his voice, "But what's the tradition regarding your wedding underwear exactly? Is there any chance I can have a sneak preview… check to see how easy it's going to be to rip it from your body come our wedding night and bend…"_

"Hello EJ," interrupted Lexie calmly before things became anymore graphic on her brother's behalf.

There was this long pause in which Sami and Lexie exchanged amused glances, despite their previously serious conversation.

"_Lexie," said EJ smoothly, "How lovely that you've visited us, have you been here long?"_

"No," replied Lexie, tongue in cheek, "Just arrived in fact but don't let me stop you EJ, what were you going to say next?"

"_You know," said EJ calmly, "I think our family has enough issues without me adding to that particular list by answering that question Alexandra."_

Both women laughed at his response.

**oooOOOOooo**

Eric had just completed the last of his errands for Sami and had been very kindly given permission to take the afternoon off by his sister and wandered out onto the patio/marquee area to see how RomanTwo was making out with his resurrecting of the archway.

"Hey," he greeted the other man, "How's it going?"

"Just finished," smiled RomanTwo, who was in the process of packing away his tools as Eric approached him.

"So does my sister have an archway to stand under tomorrow?" asked Eric, surveying RomanTwo's handiwork, "One that isn't going to collapse on top of them both?"

RomanTwo straightened up and patted the archway.

"Safe as houses mate," nodded RomanTwo in satisfaction, "This baby isn't going anywhere unless a tank rolls over the top of it."

"We're not ruling out that possibility," said Eric dryly, walking over to a window in the marquee that had a flap of material hanging over it and directed RomanTwo's attention to look outside with a rueful look.

"Strewth mate!" exclaimed RomanTwo in surprise, "You've got a tank in your back yard - what's that all about then?!"

"You've met John," said Eric wryly.

"Oh right," nodded RomanTwo with a grin, "Enough said."

"He's giving the wedding speech," Eric informed him, "I don't mind telling you RomanTwo I'm a quiver with anticipation. You know, we've got to find a shorter way of saying your name by the way - it takes too long to say."

"How about Artie?" suggested RomanTwo and explained when Eric looked lost, "You know RomanTwo…R - T… ArrTee… Artie."

"Not bad," nodded Eric thoughtfully, "And I recommend that you get in quick and find your own nickname before Joe does it for you."

"Oh yeah," laughed the newly monikered Artie, "Why does he call John Black Bear… I mean I get Sami being the blonde kitten and all but Black Bear?"

"John's last name is Black," Eric explained and then wrinkled his nose a little, "And I think the bear comment is because, you know… John's got his fuzz going on."

RomanTwo laughed out loud at that and then looked at Eric curiously.

"So did you get hit up with a nome de plume for Joe at all?" he asked Eric with a grin.

"Boo," said Eric simply of the recent nickname Joseph had bestowed on him.

"Boo?" repeated RomanTwo, his curiosity piqued now when Eric offered no further information, "What is that short for?"

"I'd rather not talk about it," said Eric, looking suddenly on edge.

"Oh no," said RomanTwo with a shake of his head, "Come on _Boo_… fess up!"

"I am in no way drunk enough to answer that question," said Eric very seriously.

"Ah well just as well Sami invited me to the wedding then," said RomanTwo with a grin, "I see I'm going to have to get the grog into you and get you talking."

Just then both men noticed EJ come out from around the side of the house through the window Eric had opened up, a crate under his arm. They watched as he stopped and looked around himself, looking decidedly suspicious and then headed off into the back garden.

"Oh," said Eric gleefully, "Now _that_ looks interesting!"

"What's he up to?" asked RomanTwo with a questioning look at Eric.

"I have no idea Artie," said Eric, "But I say we find out."

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ looked around himself again rather nervously, hardly able to believe he was about to do this. He sat down on the covered crate he'd carried down with him and put his hand in his pocket, rattling a seed bag. He knew he was in Smokey's favourite haunt and he also knew that Smokey wouldn't let any of the other peacocks near the little clearing amongst a nest of trees so his chances were good that he was going to get the peacock he was after by placing himself so strategically. Sure enough, a minute later Smokey appeared from behind one of the trees and eyed EJ with displeasure, unhappy that his inner sanctum had been invaded.

"Now before you go and get the hump," said EJ quickly, "I'm here in good faith you megalomaniacal creature… I think it's time you and I had a chat… man to…"

EJ paused then and looked Smokey up and down trying to find the right description for the bane of their household.

"Man to the feathered antichrist," continued on EJ straight faced, "Now I realise that we have had a somewhat… chequered… past Smokey and I would like to suggest an amnesty of sorts between us."

Smokey looked him up and down and EJ took that as a sign he was listening.

"Now you may be aware that Samantha and I are due to re-new our vows tomorrow," said EJ, starting to get into it now and forgetting he was talking to a peacock, "After the near catastrophic events of the birthday party I thought we should clear the air between us to avoid a recurrence of that particular nightmare. To that end I bring you a peace offering…"

EJ stood up then and pulled the blanket he'd draped over the crate that he had been sitting on to reveal that the crate had slats and between those slats could be seen a peahen, peering back uncertainly.

"I'll make you a deal Smokey," said EJ firmly, "You behave yourself tomorrow at the wedding - no getting tangled in things, setting things alight, releasing flamingos during the ceremony et al and as a reward I will give you this peahen to be your… umm… companion."

"_Oh my god!"_

EJ whirled around to see both Eric and RomanTwo standing there looking at him in shocked amusement. They'd come up behind him and heard every word he'd said.

"This isn't what it looks like!" said EJ quickly.

"It looks like you're pimping out a peahen," said Eric, a big grin on his face at catching EJ out like this.

"Well… okay then," conceded EJ with a bit of a shrug, "It's a little what it looks like."

"Are you serious?" laughed RomanTwo, "Why are you doing this EJ?"

"I'm doing this because I'm a desperate man and desperate men do desperate things," said EJ straight faced.

"Yeah but pimping out a peahen," said Eric with a shake of his head, "Dude, that's just wrong."

"I agree Eric that I may be on somewhat rocky moral ground here," said EJ with a nod of his head, "But you and I both know that Smokey here is capable of unholy acts of terrorism when the mood takes him. Samantha has her heart set on a perfect wedding day and I for one will do what it takes to ensure that it happens for her. So if that means whoring out a few peahens here and there… well… I'm completely fine with that."

RomanTwo was beginning to laugh out loud now, finding this all too amusing.

"You take the cake EJ, you really do," he said around his laughter, "But do you think this is going to work?"

"It occurred to me the other day that Smokey might be so highly strung because of… umm… lack of female companionship," explained EJ, "I myself have had that highlighted to me in recent times with the agreement Samantha and I have made. There have been times when I've over reacted slightly to some things…"

"You mean like last week when you had that melt down because someone changed the setting on the toaster from 3 to 5?" asked Eric with a smirk, "I thought you were going to burst a blood vessel."

"Well who wants charcoal for breakfast instead of toast?!" huffed EJ unrepentantly, "It's completely ridiculous I tell you!"

RomanTwo and Eric exchanged amused looks at his little outburst and EJ took a deep calming breath.

"Yes well," said EJ, trying to let it go, "It seems to me that if Smokey here were in a happier frame of mind then he might be less inclined to get into the mischief he does."

"So you're thinking he'll get into the peahen instead?" commented RomanTwo straight faced, looking down at the crate thoughtfully.

"I wouldn't have put it exactly like that," said EJ wryly, "But yes, RomanTwo, that was more or less my thinking."

"So did you at least get him a pretty one?" asked Eric, crouching down to look inside the crate which Smokey had been showing great interest in during their whole conversation.

"I don't know," said EJ slowly as both he and RomanTwo crouched down as well and checked out the latest member of the family, "I'm not sure what constitutes a good looking peahen."

"Smokey seems to be giving her the thumbs up," commented RomanTwo, watching as Smokey stuck his head through the slats and nuzzled up to the peahen.

"Alright you," said EJ firmly, as Smokey pulled his head out and looked up at EJ, "Then it's a deal? I get a Smokey free wedding and you get the peahen of your dreams here… _after_ the wedding has gone off without a hitch!"

Smokey gave a little ruffle of his feathers and looked back at the peahen and then at EJ again and blinked a couple of times.

"Is that a yes?" asked RomanTwo in a quiet aside to Eric, watching the exchange with interest.

"Anytime Smokey isn't attacking you or trying to set you on fire is usually a positive thing," mused Eric, straightening up, "So I'm thinking they have a deal."

"Man," said RomanTwo with a shake of his head, "This is like the weirdest household _ever_!"

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami walked into the living room just before she headed to bed to find her mother sitting there reading quietly.

"Hey Mom," she smiled and took a seat next to her, a cup of hot milk in her hand.

"Hello sweetie," she smiled warmly, "All ready for your big day tomorrow?"

"I guess," sighed Sami, "I just wish I knew what John had planned in the best man's speech."

"I'm sorry honey," said Marlena, "I did try but I couldn't find out any information for you."

"That's okay Mom," said Sami with a fatalistic shrug, "Like any of us could have probably stopped him anyway."

Sami looked at her mother curiously then.

"How are things going with you and John anyway?" she asked her, "I mean have you… umm…?"

Sami stalled then, not knowing quite how to finish that question really.

"John and I haven't made love yet," supplied Marlena calmly.

"Oh," said Sami and took a sip of her milk, not sure what else to say.

"It's a big step Sami," said Marlena, almost talking to herself now, "I don't want to give myself to a man that I'm not sure even understands what love is."

"I'm not sure John understands what a blender is," said Sami flatly, "I caught him the other day trying to use it to dispose of food scraps."

Marlena gave a rueful smile at that.

"Mom," said Sami earnestly, putting a hand out to touch her mother's arm, "I'm the first to admit that this John is not without his… quirks I guess but for what it's worth… I think he really does love you and really, can any of us really say we understand love completely?"

A slow smile spread across Marlena's face at that and she reached out a hand and tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear lovingly.

"That was a very wise thing to say Sami Jean Brady DiMera," smiled Marlena warmly, "My little girl is all grown up it would seem."

"Is this grown up still allowed to get a hug from her mother?" asked Sami hopefully, needing to feel the comfort of her mother's arms around her after Lexie's news of earlier today.

She hadn't told anyone of her anaemia and had no intention to do so but somehow a mother's hug always seemed to make things better. Marlena opened her arms to Sami and she gratefully moved into them, lying her head on her mother's chest as Marlena hugged her tightly.

"Always sweetie," said Marlena, kissing the top of her head, "Always."


	78. Chapter 78

**Chapter SEVENTY EIGHT**

**THE WEDDING DAY (at long last)**

**Eric and Joseph's Morning - **

**07:30am…**

Eric was out in the back garden, sitting on one of the benches, feeding the peacocks when EJ walked up to him.

"Good morning," smiled EJ to his brother in law.

"Mornin'," smiled back Eric, "How's the groom to be… kind of… today?"

"Very happy and excited," grinned EJ, taking a seat next to Eric and watching as he handed out the last of the seed to the birds.

"I thought I should feed these guys early and make sure they don't feel the need to come up to the house too much today," said Eric, looking at the peacocks who, having now eaten the last of the grain, were wandering off.

"Good thinking," nodded EJ and then looked around, "Any sign of El Diablo?"

"Nope," Eric shook his head, "Didn't come up with the others and usually he is first - don't know if that is a good sign or a bad sign. Maybe he's on a diet so he'll look good for his lady friend tonight - what do you think?"

Eric waggled his eyebrows suggestively at that and EJ had to laugh.

"Who knows what goes on in the head of that bird?" said EJ, rolling his eyes.

"Have you told Sami about your little deal with Smokey?" asked Eric curiously, tilting his head and looking at EJ.

"No," said EJ firmly, "And I don't intend to - at least until after the wedding. I know that we are technically already married but I really don't want to give her reason to question whether or not she wants to renew her vows to me."

"And what?" asked Eric straight faced, "You think the fact that you've entered the seedy underworld of peacock prostitution that she might think twice about marrying you again?"

"Wouldn't you?" asked EJ wryly.

"I don't know," pondered Eric thoughtfully, "Do I get some kind of percentage in the profits at all?"

"You're a great support to me Eric in my times of trouble," said EJ ironically, "I don't know if I've ever told you that before."

"Happy to help EJ," laughed Eric.

"In that case I have a favour to ask of you," said EJ with a smile.

"Ohh," said Eric mischievously, "I don't have to put on platform shoes, flairs and a felt hat with a big feather on it and put the smack down on some of the other peahens you've got lined up in your stable to keep them in line do I?"

"No Huggie Bear," said EJ dryly, shaking his head at Eric's continued teasing of him, "Your pimp heavy man tactics won't be required of you today."

"Shame," sighed Eric, "I was kind of looking forward to wearing the hat… and the shoes."

"You are making me seriously reconsider asking you this," observed EJ flatly.

"I'm only teasing EJ," grinned Eric, "Geez, who knew that you'd bruise like a peach?! Come on, spill it, what's this favour you want to ask, I'm all a twitter?"

"It's just that as you know Uncle John is my best man," began EJ.

"Oh yeah!" nodded Eric excitedly.

"Could you be a little less thrilled by that please Eric?" asked EJ dryly, "I know it's only because you're expecting there to be some monumental disaster at his hands that will cause untold embarrassment to me and generalised amusement to everyone else."

"And your point being?" asked Eric innocently.

"Apparently I don't have one," said EJ ironically, "So as I was saying, Uncle John is my best man and it is traditional that the best man look after the wedding rings but I must admit to some feelings of trepidation about that. Our wedding rings mean a great deal to Samantha and I, they were the rings Santo had made for Colleen so there is a great deal of sentimentality attached to them. I would just feel a lot happier knowing they were in the hands of someone less prone to… sideway steps of logic shall we say? So I was wondering if you would be able to look after the rings until the ceremony for us Eric and give them to John just before it starts?"

"Sure," nodded Eric casually, "That's an easy favour… and one that requires no heavy lifting so no probs EJ."

EJ reached into his coat pocket and drew out Sami's wedding ring that he'd asked for her to give him last night and handed it to Eric. He then looked down at his own wedding ring and twisted it around on his finger, hesitating.

"So…?" prompted Eric slowly, "Are you taking it off or do I just have to hold your hand all day EJ?"

EJ threw Eric a ruefully amused look.

"I have never taken it off from the first day Samantha put it on my finger," he admitted to Eric with a sigh.

"You can keep it on and just give it to John yourself before the ceremony," suggested Eric, seeing the other man's reluctance.

"No," said EJ, forcing himself to be reasonable, "We'll keep the rings together. I mean, it's only a few more hours before Sami puts it back on my finger anyway. I'm just being silly."

EJ determinedly removed his ring then and there was a clear tan line outlined around his finger as he did. He handed the ring to Eric, his finger feeling strangely bereft now.

"Relax," said Eric confidently, taking the ring from EJ, "They're safe with me EJ. Now turn that frown upside down will you?"

"Thanks Eric," smiled EJ, "I know I can count on you - you're the least crazy member of this blended family of ours."

"Well that isn't saying that much but I'll take it as the compliment it was intended as," grinned Eric, he looked over EJ's shoulder to the man approaching, greeting him, "Oh hey Joe, you're here early."

"I promised the kitten that I'd be here to help in any way I could," said Joseph as he came to stand in front of the two men before giving an excited clap of his hands, "I just _love_ weddings!"

"It's good to see you Joseph," said EJ, smiling at the other man's enthusiasm, "And Samantha and I will take any help we can get today so you are most welcome. Now if you'll please excuse me I left the twins with their Great to finish off their breakfast so I'd better go and oversee that. I'm trying to give Sami the day off from being a mummy so she can just be the bride."

"You are _such_ a catch!" sighed Joseph dreamily, "If only I'd met you first love buns, I would have turned you faster than a bucket of shrimp left out in the midday sun."

Eric chortled away happily at that but EJ only smiled.

"Well unfortunately Joseph," he said as he stood up and put an affectionate hand on the other man's shoulder, "I am indeed, well and truly caught by the beautiful woman that has consented to be my bride again today. Sorry to disappoint."

"Oh well," sighed Joseph, taking a seat beside Eric on the bench as they both watched EJ give them a little wave and head off back to the house, "Timing is everything I guess."

Joseph then turned his head and looked at Eric considering.

"So Boo?" he said brightly, "Have you ever dipped your toe in the dark waters of a love that cannot speak its name?"

"No," laughed Eric at Joseph's turn of phrase.

"Ever been tempted?" pushed Joseph, sidling up closer to Eric and putting an arm along the bench behind Eric and gave him a suitably coquettish look.

"I can honestly say no to that Joe," grinned Eric, not put off by Joseph at all.

"Oh come on," said Joseph with a roll of his eyes, "You can't tell me that you haven't at least thought about it at some point. Come on Boo - if you had your choice of anyone, who would it be? Who would you turn gay for?"

"Ellen Degeneres," replied Eric very seriously.

"Oh you!" said Joseph with a giggle and slapped his arm, "So what are you doing out here anyways? All the action is up at the big house."

"I was just feeding the peacocks," answered Eric easily, "Well all of them except Smokey, he didn't show up for some reason."

"He's right there honey," said Joseph and pointed past Eric's shoulder and he turned around and started to see Smokey standing at the end of the bench, regarding them steadily.

"Man!" exclaimed Eric with a shake of his head, "Talk about a ninja peacock! I totally didn't hear him come up."

"Maybe he's like Nosferatu - comes and goes in a puff of smoke," suggested Joseph and then gave a quick shudder, "Oh, I just gave myself the creeps saying that."

"Relax Joe," said Eric with a smirk, "The only smoke associated with this guy is from the fires he starts himself."

Smokey just stared back at them impassively, obviously not feeling the need to defend himself to the likes of them.

"Don't look at me like that," said Eric with a shake of his head to Smokey, "You got here too late, the seed is all eaten by your peacock brethren - haven't you ever heard that the early bird gets the worm?"

"We should go and get him some more," said Joseph wisely, "We don't want to rock the boat on today of all days."

"I guess," sighed Eric.

He looked around himself and then straightened up, looking around slightly more frantically.

"What is it honey?" asked Joseph brightly, "What are you looking for?"

"The rings," said Eric, standing up and shaking himself down before ducking down to look under and around the bench, "EJ gave me his and Sami's wedding rings to look after before the wedding… and now I can't find them!"

"Well calm down Boo," said Joseph, standing up and looking around as well, "Where did you put them down?"

"You came up and I thought I put them on the seat beside me," said Eric, still looking around but now on his hands and knees looking through the grass, "But they're not there anymore!"

"Maybe you thought you put them on the seat but instead you put it in one of your pockets without thinking about it?" suggested Joseph hopefully, "Stand up."

Eric stood up and started to pat himself down, checking all his pockets.

"How about in this little back pocket?" suggested Joseph, helpfully sticking three of his fingers down into the little pocket located over Eric's right butt cheek and wiggling around, seeing if he could feel the rings at all.

"Interesting."

They both froze in place, Eric standing there and with Joseph rather incriminatingly with his hand on his bottom, looking like he was giving it a good fondle.

"When you two are done your presence is required up at the house," said John calmly and then turned around without another look and headed back the way he came.

Eric blew out a long suffering breath.

"What are the odds this little event is going to make it into John's speech tonight?" asked Eric fatalistically.

"We'll explain to Black Bear later honey," said Joseph, removing his hand and giving Eric an anxious look, "We've got bigger worries right now! We have to find those rings - EJ and Sami will be devastated if they are lost!"

"I know that!" scowled Eric, feeling very badly now, "Don't you think I know that Joe? It's just I can't understand where they can be. They're not on the bench, they're not on the ground, you don't have them, I don't have them and we're the only ones here!"

"Almost," Joseph reminded him.

The two men stared at each other and then both slowly turned their heads as one to look down at Smokey who was scratching at the grass idly. He looked up to see the two deformed flamingo's looking back at him strangely. He cocked his head and looked squarely back at them.

"Oh…," gasped Joseph.

"… no," finished Eric weakly.

**oooOOOOooo**

**08:03am…**

Eric took a deep breath and then knocked gently on Sami's bedroom door.

"Who is it?" she called out.

"It's me sis," replied Eric through the door, "Are you decent?"

"Depends who you talk to," joked his sister, "Come on in."

Eric sent a quick look to Joseph who was standing off to one side. Joseph sent him a quick double thumbs up sign and nodded encouragingly at him. Eric took another deep breath and walked into the lion's den.

"Hi," she grinned at her brother.

Sami was in her bathrobe having just come from the shower.

"Hi," he returned and braced himself to be the bearer of bad news.

He was _not_ looking forward to this at all!

"Did EJ get the twins all organised this morning?" she asked him.

"You bet, like clockwork," nodded Eric, wondering how to broach the subject with her.

Your irreplaceable wedding rings have just been eaten and are currently working their way down a peacock's colon seemed a bit harsh… harsh but true.

However he put it though it was definitely going to put a dampener on his sister's obviously buoyant mood and Eric hated the thought of that. At the time though Eric didn't feel as though he had any choice. The rings were gone - well at least for a ten to twelve hour period anyway so he just had to fess up and face the music.

"You know Eric," said Sami, suddenly sounding emotional and sharing with her beloved twin, "I've put so much into today and I'm just desperate for it to be a perfect day. All my other wedding have been ended badly or not even started and I don't think I could bear it if something went wrong with this one. EJ is the one for me - the man I love and who loves me unconditionally and I just want today to reflect how perfect we are for one another and how perfect our lives are now."

Sami gave a weak little smile at Eric then.

"I know I haven't always been the best person in the world," she said quietly, "And I probably don't deserve a perfect day after some of the stunts I've pulled in the past…"

"Hey!" interrupted Eric and gave her a mock frown, "No one trash talks my sister missy - not even my sister so watch it you!"

Sami smiled at that, his teasing cajoling her out of her sudden bout of emotion.

"Sorry," she said with a little laugh, "I'm all over the place today, I'm just so nervous and happy and scared and excited and…"

"Okay," interrupted Eric again with a half smile, delighting in seeing his twin so happy and realising he couldn't take that away from her, "I get it - all the emotions - check."

Sami gave a little laugh and then looked at Eric, sensing he was holding back something from her.

"Is everything okay?" she asked her brother suddenly, tilting her head at him.

"You bet," said Eric quickly, not being able to bear giving his sister the news now about the unfortunate turn of events regarding the wedding rings, "Could not be more okay in fact that is why I'm here, just to tell you how okay it really is."

Sami arched a distrustful eyebrow at his babbling. Eric pursed his lips, trying to feign casualness.

"Okay then," he said brightly, "Just reiterating that everything is indeed okay and now I'll be off."

"Have you been drinking?" she asked suspiciously.

"No," said Eric straight faced, "But it is rapidly moving up on my list of things to do today."

"But everything is okay?" she pressed him, eyeing him intently, trying to read him like she did when they were kids.

"I promise Sami," said Eric and gave his most charming smile and trying to dispel that suddenly worried look she had on her face.

He walked up to Sami and put his arms around and gave her a hug.

"Today's going to be perfect Sami," he whispered in her ear, "Trust me, I'm your brother and I'm going to do what it takes to make sure that it is."

"Thank you Eric," said Sami softly, returning his embrace, her cheek against his chest, "I'm so glad you're here, it means the world to me to be able to share today with you."

"Same here sis," smiled Eric, pulling back and pressing a kiss to her forehead affectionately, "Now I'd better get out of here. I assume you're about to be descended on by people who are going to try and get you all beautiful for the wedding."

"That's right," smiled Sami, with a nod, quickly checking her watch, "The hairdresser will be here soon."

"Yeah well they've got a big job in front of them to get you presentable," he noted in typical brother fashion.

"Hey!" exclaimed Sami, slapping his arm but taking no offence because she could see the way his eyes were twinkling as he said it, "Be nice - it's my wedding day!"

"I'm always nice," protested Eric with a pout.

"Yeah well take your niceness someplace else for the time being," scoffed his sister.

The twins smiled at each other then, sharing a moment of tender unspoken communication. Sami silently mouthed the words 'I love you' to him and Eric mouthed them back before giving her a wink and leaving the room. The smile fell from his face as soon as he'd closed the door behind him though and stood there.

"How did it go?" asked Joseph with hopeful expectation who had been waiting for him this whole time.

"Plan A is a bust," said Eric stoically, "Time to move on to Plan B."

"Which is Boo?" asked Joseph tentatively.

"I'm thinking," said Eric, staring ahead blankly, "I'm thinking."


	79. Chapter 79

**Chapter SEVENTY NINE**

**Eric and Joseph's morning continues - **

**09:01am…**

"Well this certainly isn't how I pictured my morning turning out," pouted Joseph unhappily.

"Just keep your eyes on Smokey and for his next poop," instructed Eric stoically.

"I never thought I would ever have someone say anything remotely like that to me in my entire life!" wailed Joseph.

The two men were down the back garden with Smokey semi-corralled between the two of them.

"I don't know what you're complaining about Joe," grumped Eric, "I was the one who had to pour the caster oil done Satan's neck!"

"And you were very brave Boo," nodded Joseph solicitously, "How's your arm."

Eric pulled up his sleeve and looked down at the long scratch he'd sustained during the course of that particular little interaction.

"Still bleeding," said Eric sourly, shooting Smokey an unimpressed look which Smokey returned.

He had been subjected to an unprovoked attack by one of these mutant flamingos and he was _not_ happy about it! And now they were standing around, interrupting his morning routine and just generally being annoying - what was all _that_ about anyway?!

"Is this going to work?" asked Joseph worriedly, "I mean, in time for the wedding."

"It has to," said Eric grimly.

Eric looked at Smokey and pointed an accusatory finger at him.

"Hey Hoover!" he chastised the bird, "You'd better come up with the goods or there is going to be roast peacock on the menu for Christmas lunch tomorrow and the turkey gets to live another day!"

Smokey looked back at Eric disdainfully and then promptly squirted out a stream of the requested excrement however it seemed more like a statement about what Smokey thought of Eric's threats then any kind of desire to help them out.

"Okay Joe," said Eric, indicating the latest pile of gloop, "You're turn - are the rings there?"

"Ohh," said Joseph weakly, approaching it with side on steps and trying not to look at it.

They were both wearing washing up gloves in case the goose laid the golden egg or rather in this case, the peacock shat the golden rings.

"Well?" prompted Eric when Joseph kept taking quick glances at the mess on the ground but no more then that.

"There are some lumps in it but I can't bear to get too close!" squeaked Joseph, he then clutched his chest dramatically, "I think I'm having a heart attack!"

"Oh no you don't!" said Eric firmly, "You don't get out of it that easily Joseph Miller! I don't care if you _do_ have a heart attack - you're in this to the bitter end!"

"Oh Boo," said Joseph, breathing hard, "I can't look, I just can't!"

"Fine!" said Eric with a roll of his eyes, "I've done the twin's diapers before today - I'm not afraid of a little poop."

Eric stalked over to the glistening trail, made extra specially so because of all the castor oil they'd pumped into Smokey in a vain hope of getting things moving along as it were. Unfortunately, while Smokey had certainly been pooping like a champion so far they just weren't getting the rings to appear. Eric was hopeful that this time might be luckier for them though as he poked at the lumps Joseph had mentioned with a gloved finger.

"Did you find them?" asked Joseph anxiously, unable to watch.

"No," groaned Eric, straightening up and grimacing at his finger.

As he did he noticed Roger was in a nearby tree, straddling a branch and looking down at them with a vague look of disdain on his face.

"Hey!" huffed Eric, jabbing the same poo encrusted finger up at Roger in his defence, "Don't you look at me like that Roger! You guys are in no position to judge! You fling your own crap around for kicks!"

Roger just arched both his eyebrows at Eric, clearly not finding that to be any kind of argument. Eric was spared having to defend himself any further though when there was suddenly this ear piercing scream cut through the air. Both men turned quickly around just in time to see Anna streak by in a blonde blur from their vantage point of being hidden away behind the bushes. About twenty seconds after that came an ostentation of stampeding peacocks, sans Smokey of course who was otherwise occupied and then about another ten seconds after that EJ hurtled past. Eric and Joseph looked at each other in consternation.

"What was that?" asked a bemused Joseph.

"No idea Joe," said Eric with a shrug, "But we've got problems of our own."

They both looked back at Smokey then.

"Eye on the prize my friend," said Eric resolutely, "Eye on the prize."

**oooOOOOooo**

**10:59am…**

Time was ticking by and Smokey was not delivering on the goods as had been hoped so Eric was seeking some professional help.

"Yes we tried that," nodded Eric as he talked into his cell phone, after removing his glove of course, "… just over two hours ago… no, nothing… just a lot of poop."

Eric listened for a bit and then answered.

"Look I understand that," said Eric in exasperation, "But we don't really have time for nature to take its course here. We've got a bit of a time crunch situation going on and we really need to have those rings before three o'clock this afternoon."

"Well before!" inserted Joseph, listening in, "We're going to have to wash them and clean them and then wash them again!"

Eric nodded in acknowledgement but still kept talking on the phone.

"Look, you're a vet," he continued on, "… yes I know it's the day before Christmas… but this is an emergency… aha… yes… that's right… oh… okay… thanks."

Eric hung up then and turned around to see Joseph looking at him expectantly.

"I spoke to the vet," said Eric rather unnecessarily seeing as Joseph had been standing right there the whole time, "She says we have to go in."

"To the surgery?" asked Joseph hopefully, happy at the thought of a professional finally being called in.

"You wish," said Eric flatly.

"What do you mean Boo?" asked Joseph tentatively.

"It means we have to go in and retrieve the rings ourselves," explained Eric grimly, "Manually."

"Manually?" repeated Joseph nervously, not liking the sound of that at all, "What does the mean honey?"

"It means I will never be able to look at another Lucky Dip the same way," said Eric humourlessly, "Or chew on my fingernails."

"Oh my," said Joseph faintly, looking as though he was going to throw up all of a sudden.

"I think this calls for some privacy," said Eric determinedly, thinking about where they could go.

"Please honey!" exclaimed Joseph in horror, "This calls for some Valium and a big bottle of JD!"

"I can't argue with that," said Eric grimly, "But I promised Sami that she'd have her perfect wedding day and if that means I have to do a cavity search on the occasional peacock to make that happen then that's what I'm going to do! Sami deserves this!"

"Oh honey that is such a lovely thing to say," said Joseph, touched by Eric's outburst and desire to make his twin happy, "Well except for the violating the peacock part… but the rest was lovely, really."

"And I know exactly where we should go," said Eric, his mind made up.

**oooOOOOooo**

**11:22am…**

"This is the single most traumatic event of my life!" Joseph exclaimed dramatically, looking utterly stricken.

"Yeah well Joe this isn't exactly a fantasy come true for me either now stick on that glove and let's get this over and done with already!" exclaimed Eric with a roll of his eyes, "Trust me, no one in this room is looking forward to the next couple of minutes but we have to do this!"

"Isn't there another way?" asked Joseph hopefully.

"I'm open to any suggestions Joe!" said Eric in exasperation.

Joseph grimaced when nothing came to mind.

"Then let's do this already so I can work on repressing this memory forever," said Eric determinedly.

"This is the single most traumatic event of my life," repeated Joseph gloomily, reaching for the latex glove that they'd found in Rolf's now disused laboratory stores.

It had been decided to take Smokey down to one of the basement rooms that had previously been set up for Rolf and his previously nefarious activities as it had a table and the much needed privacy. Fortunately there was so much going on at the house that Joseph had easily distracted people and Eric and sneaked the increasingly annoyed bird down the stairs and into the basement.

"Right," said Eric determinedly moving in and taking a firm hold of Smokey, facing towards Joseph and Smokey's butt and putting an arm over the bird's neck as he gripped his torso, "Let's get this over with!"

Smokey began to scramble around on the table, not liking the feeling of being restrained, his legs kicking wildly and Joseph gave a frightened whimper, backing away from the flailing beast with all of it's pointy bits waving wildly.

"Stop it!" ordered Eric, trying to get a better grip on him, "We all wouldn't have to be going through this if you'd just pooped like we wanted you to Smokey! Scratch that - we all wouldn't be going through this if you hadn't eaten the damn rings in the first place! You bought this on your own head Smokey… well, your own butt anyway!"

"Hey!" said Joseph, a sudden thought occurring to him.

Joseph wrinkled his face in concern as he tentatively walked back towards the business end of Smokey.

"Are you making me do this because I'm gay and you figure I might know something about back entrances?" raged Joseph, "Because if it is then that's discrimination I'll have you know!"

"Actually it's because you've got the smallest hands between you and I and therefore I figured it would be less shall we say… _confronting_… for Smokey here when you go on your search and rescue mission," said Eric, still straining to keep a hold on Smokey, "But you make a good point about the gay thing as well. You're definitely the man for the job Joe!"

"Whoa!"

Both men turned to look at the door where a stunned looking Tracy was standing, taking in the strange scene. Smokey took Eric's momentary distraction as a chance to make a break for freedom. He wiggled free from Eric, wings flapping, legs flailing and tail feathers sweeping and forcing Eric to step back in surprise. Smokey hit the ground running and Eric made a desperate lunge for him but missed, hitting the ground amongst the bits of broken beaker Smokey had taken out on his way down.

"Tracy!" exclaimed Eric excitedly, realising by now he didn't have enough reach to control Smokey by himself, "I need you!

"Look guys," said Tracy, holding his hands up and backing away from them, "I'm not exactly sure what you two are up to but I'm pretty sure it's not my kind of scene so I'll be going now."

"Shut the door!" exclaimed Joseph, waving his hands at Tracy, "He's making a break for it!"

Tracy quickly shut the door he just came through and gave a bemused look at the other two men.

"You know," he said slowly, "I think I should be going now."

"No!" exclaimed Eric urgently, "I need your upper body strength Tracy - we have an emergency on our hands here!"

Eric quickly explained the situation to Tracy who looked in turned amused and then vaguely concerned when Eric looked at him expectantly when he was done explaining the situation.

"Sorry," he said with a shake of his head, looking down at Smokey, as he strutted around the room, looking for a way out, "And what do you want me to do about it exactly?"

"I need some help holding Smokey steady so Joe can do his thing," said Eric, "He's moving around too much."

"Unless you'd prefer to be doing the retrieving?" offered Joseph hopefully, he wiggled the box of gloves at Tracy, "There are plenty of gloves and I don't mind… really!"

"That's really kind of you Joe," said Tracy with a quirk of his lips, "But I think I'll stick with Eric on this one."

"Oh," said Joseph sounding very disappointed.

The three of them managed to chase down the reluctant patient again and Eric and Tracy began to organise themselves as to the best way to restrain Smokey so Joseph would have the best shot at succeeding in his mission.

"You know there is a certain irony that we are looking for some rings in an actual ring," commented Tracy idly as he carefully kept his face away from Smokey's outraged beak.

"I'm glad you're finding this so amusing!" huffed Joseph as he sidled up reluctantly to Smokey's butt which Eric and Tracy were pointing at him conveniently.

"Trust me Joe," said Eric grimly, "Nothing about this is amusing and as soon as we do this then we all make a pact that we _never_ talk about it again!"

"I think that goes without saying Eric," said Tracy with a roll of his eyes as he tightened his hold on Smokey.

"Alright honey," said Joseph worriedly and gave Smokey a comforting pat on the back, "Brace yourself."

Eight minutes, eleven excruciating seconds later mission was accomplished despite the loud shrieks of horror that the event had conjured up… and Smokey had been squawking pretty loudly as well! Joseph had howled the whole way through the procedure but despite it all he'd managed to find both of the rings and return them to the outside world. After the rings were safe the three of them then snuck Smokey back upstairs and released him back into the wild looking completely outraged at the indignities that had been visited upon him.

"You know," said Tracy thoughtfully as the three of them stood there and watch Smokey strut off defiantly, "I kinda feel like we should buy him dinner or something after that."

Eric and Joseph just turned their heads and looked at Tracy in disbelief.

"Just sayin'," shrugged Tracy.

"Well this wedding is off to a rocky start," sighed Eric, "At least we know it can't get any worse then that."

_If only Eric knew how wrong he was going to turn out to be…_


	80. Chapter 80

**Chapter EIGHTY**

**EJ's Morning - **

**06:41am**…

EJ opened his eyes and blinked a couple of times, slowly coming awake. He sat up in bed then, resting against the bed head and turned his head to look at the digital clock he'd set up to count down his misery until he could be with Sami again properly.

_16 hours, 32 minutes and 10 seconds and counting._

A slow smile crept over EJ's face as he let the knowledge that the wedding day and by default, the wedding night was here sink into his consciousness. They'd made it, god only knows how but he and Samantha had managed to perhaps not keep their hands off each other but other body parts at least for nearly a month now. EJ's body tightened in excitement thinking about how it was going to feel to be making love to his wife again at long last. Their time away at the hotel had been simply amazing but EJ somehow thought that tonight was going to top that.

He'd dreamed about this night for what seemed like forever now. The way he was going to make love to Samantha, the many ways he'd find to pleasure her, slowly and deliberately, making that first coming together last all night. Whilst EJ had fantasised literally long and hard about that he doubted he'd be able to manage that after this long time apart. The truth was she was probably going to say his name and he'd be done and EJ gave a rueful grimace at the thought. But then he had all night to make up for it and he fully intended to do just that. He hoped Sami had gotten a good nights sleep last night because there was no way he was going to be letting her get any tonight!

EJ got out of bed and quickly showered and shaved, amazed that the twins weren't awake yet. He wanted to do all the running around for them today and just let Sami have her special day without having to deal with two rambunctious fourteen month old's barrelling around. EJ stopped on his way to the twins room, stalling in front of he and Samantha's bedroom and was overjoyed at the thought that he'd spent his last night alone in his bed and tonight he'd be snuggling up to his gorgeous wife at last. EJ closed his eyes, briefly picturing it in his mind's eye and feeling that all to familiar ache to be near Sami.

EJ lifted his hand and tapped gently on her door, uncertain if she was awake or not.

"Samantha?" he called out to her softly.

Sami walked out of the bathroom just in time to hear EJ quietly call out her name and she gave a pleased smile at hearing his voice.

"You can't come in," she instructed him, "The groom can't see the bride on their wedding day remember EJ?"

EJ gave a little groan and leant heavily against the door.

"How am I meant to last the day with not seeing you?" he asked, sounding so forlorn that Sami felt her heart melt.

"It's not the whole day," she said with a little smile, walking over to the door that separated them and leaning on it as well, imaging she could feel the heat of his body through the wood, "Just until I walk down the aisle at three o'clock this afternoon. I'll be the one in white."

"Glad you mentioned that sweetheart," chuckled EJ, "I have a devil of a time telling you and your father apart."

Sami giggled at that and EJ grinned to hear her laughter.

"God but I want to kiss you," he told her throatily, "I want to touch you and smell you and taste you and never stop Samantha."

"And you will EJ," she promised him breathlessly, "Tonight…"

"Now," said EJ, his voice suddenly urgent as the last of his control began to slip away from him, especially now that he was being denied even the sight and touch of her, "I want to touch you now Samantha… kiss you and make you mine!"

"I am yours EJ," said Sami, shaking at the need in his voice and feeling an answering need in her body, "Yours and no one else's. I'm desperate for you to make love to me again EJ, I need to feel your hands on me again more than I want anything else in this world."

EJ gave a shaky groan at her confession. He couldn't help himself then, crouching down and sticking as much of his fingers as would fit underneath the door and wiggling them around.

"Samantha."

Sami looked down at the sound of his voice suddenly coming from somewhere around her knees and saw his fingers poking out from underneath the door. She giggled at his spontaneous act and knelt down as well, touching her fingers to his.

"I love you Samantha," he told her and there was this deep timbre to his voice that made her just dissolve.

"I love you EJ," she sighed, "And I'm so looking forward to standing in front of all our family and friends and telling them exactly how much I adore you EJ DiMera."

EJ's smile grew so wide that it actually made his face hurt but he didn't care. When he thought back to how long and hard he'd fought for this woman's love he was just overwhelmed with gratitude that they were at this point now and had their whole lives ahead of them.

"Today is going to be perfect Samantha," he told her with great certainty, "I promise you."

**oooOOOOooo**

**07:32am…**

EJ walked back up to the house after giving his and Samantha's wedding rings over into Eric's care. He felt a great wave of relief knowing that Eric was going to be taking care of them now for him. At least that was one less thing to worry about. EJ was back inside the house just as the front door bell rang.

"I'll get it Rolf!" he called out to the other man who he wasn't even sure if he was around.

EJ opened the door and smiled warmly at the couple standing there.

"Happy wedding day little brother," smiled Tony, stepping into the house and hugging the younger man.

"Thank you Tony," grinned EJ and then moved to hug Anna as well as she walked in.

"Are you nervous honey?" asked Anna as she kissed his cheek.

"Yes," admitted EJ ruefully, "Not so much for myself but I really want today to be perfect for Samantha. She's had so many other less than spectacular wedding experiences I just want this one to be one she looks back on and only has good memories of."

"I know what's that like," sighed Anna and then gave Tony a little sideways glance, her lips curving in a little upward smile, "It helps though if you're marrying the right man."

Tony smiled back at her and husband and wife shared a little moment. EJ took both of their coats as Anna went on ahead to look at the marquee now that it was decorated in all its glory, ready for the ceremony.

"I see Anna seems to have forgiven you for all of your crimes," noted EJ with a grin.

"Ah yes little brother," nodded Tony with a nod of his head, "It's amazing what a lot of rigorous, angry sex can do to pour oil on stormy waters… along with letting her find the matching diamond necklace and earrings I got her for Christmas of course."

"Very cunning of you Tony," said EJ with a laugh.

"It's an instinct for survival that all married men acquire if they want to stay that way," commented Tony knowingly, "Especially to the type of women that have stolen our hearts Elvis. Samantha and Anna are not for the faint hearted."

"Then it is indeed fortunate that neither you or I suffer from a faint heart eh brother?" grinned EJ.

"Very fortunate," nodded Tony with a smile of his own.

**oooOOOOooo**

**08:16am…**

EJ and Tony were settled in on the sofa and Anna had just come back from inspecting the marquee and all of the flowers.

"Oh but I love weddings!" gushed Anna, "They make me all tingly - I loved being a bride!"

"You loved being the centre of attention my love," corrected her husband with a chuckle.

"And what's wrong with that?" huffed Anna.

"Nothing is wrong with that Anna," smiled EJ in amusement.

"I'm going up to see Sami," she announced and then looked at EJ, "Do you think she'll mind?"

"I'm sure Samantha would be delighted to see you Anna," EJ replied calmly, "When you go just reassure her that everything is running like clockwork down here and she isn't to worry about a single thing alright?"

"I will," nodded Anna and then looked excited, "Oh I can't wait to see her dress!"

Anna headed off upstairs, passing Eric as she did.

"Good morning Eric," she smiled at the younger man.

"Oh hey Anna," said Eric distractedly, returning her smile, "Good to see you."

"You too honey," said Anna, continuing on her way to see Sami.

"Hey Tony," nodded Eric at Tony and gave him a quick smile, "EJ do we have any castor oil in the house?"

"I believe Rolf has some in his cupboard," said EJ with an arched eyebrow, "Why, what do you need it for?"

"Oh nothing," said Eric with a casual wave of his hand, "Just need something… ah… lubricated. It's no biggy."

Eric turned around then and headed towards the kitchen.

"Don't let Rolf find you in his precious cupboard otherwise he'll give you what for!" called out EJ after Eric but he was already inside the kitchen.

"That was a little odd," commented Tony.

"I'm sure it's fine," said EJ with a casual wave of his hand, "Eric is the one person in this house that I don't have to worry about - he's very calm and level headed."

"If you say so Elvis," said Tony although he thought he'd seen a definite sheen of panic to the younger man's face that he'd been trying to hide.

Tony tapped EJ's leg and nodded at him.

"I have a favour to ask of you," he informed EJ.

"Of course," nodded EJ, "I'm always happy to help you Tony - you know that."

"I do," smiled Tony, "And hopefully you won't find this particular favour to be too much of a nuisance. As you know, there has been some unhappiness on Anna's behalf with me at leaving the fluff covered monster in Italy."

"I believe she may have mentioned that in passing," nodded EJ wryly.

"Well unbeknownst to my beloved wife I've organised for Clarisse to be bought over so that she will be here to share Christmas with us," said Tony.

"That's very sweet of you Tony," smiled EJ.

"Love turns us all into idiots little brother," commented Tony with a roll of his eyes, "But I wanted it to be a surprise for Christmas morning and seeing as we are coming to the mansion to open gifts with the children in the morning…"

"You'd like us to take care of Clarisse in the interim," smiled EJ, "Nothing could be easier Tony. We already have quite the menagerie going on as you've no doubt noticed so one more won't matter."

"Hey guys," said Eric, suddenly appearing again from the kitchen and looking at EJ, "Sorry to interrupt again but do we have a funnel at all around the place?"

"I think there is one in the laundry," said EJ, looking at Eric a little curiously now.

"Still no big deal and thanks," said Eric calmly and headed off.

Before either man could comment on that Anna suddenly appeared in the doorway.

"You have a monkey!" she announced loudly, looking a little shaken up.

"Yes Roger," nodded EJ looking at her in surprise, "Sorry Anna, I thought you knew that."

"I have yet to meet Roger," commented Tony.

"He's lovely," smiled EJ, "A really nice addition to the family."

"He's a _monkey_," said Anna, looking less then convinced.

"A very smart monkey," nodded EJ, "He decorated our tree for us."

Anna looked intrigued but still a little uncertain about this turn of events.

"Why don't you go for a walk in the garden to calm your nerves sweetheart?" suggested Tony, "I've got to make a couple of phone calls but then I'll join you."

"Alright," nodded Anna, "Some fresh airs sounds good about now."

Anna headed off and Tony arched an eyebrow at EJ.

"Anna does not have a natural affinity with animals," he commented, "Unless she gets to wear their fur, feathers or hide. Clarisse is turning out to be the exception to the rule it would seem. That is why I didn't mention John's tendency to acquire animals at random to her - I don't think she'd understand."

"Well Anna is not the only one who doesn't understand," said EJ with a roll of his eyes, "Anyway, I'll leave you to your phone calls Tony, I'm just going to check on Marlena and the twins."

"Thank you," nodded Tony, "Oh and thank you for the matter we discussed earlier. I'll have my driver bring her around after the wedding, I'm sure there are plenty of rooms we can put Clarisse into until Anna and I leave after the reception."

"It won't be a problem," agreed EJ, "Just let me know when she arrives."

EJ disappeared to check on the twins and Tony made his phone calls and when he hung up he noticed John standing there.

"Good morning John," he greeted him.

"Nephew," nodded John and then suddenly tilted his head at him, "I was wondering if I could get your opinion on something?"

"Certainly," said Tony easily, "What is it John?"

"I'm thinking of putting a mink farm in out the back in one area of the gardens," said John expressionlessly, "I was wondering if you think I've mapped out enough space for it."

"A mink farm?" asked Tony, "Why John?"

"I'm going to make jerky out of them," said John expressionlessly.

'Mink _jerky_?" repeated Tony in consternation, "What about their fur John?"

"You can't make jerky out of fur Tony," frowned John, "What's wrong with you?"

Tony opened his mouth, not sure how to answer that but John was already continuing on.

"Come upstairs to the balcony and I'll give you an aerial view of where I'm planning on putting it," offered John, starting to walk towards the stairs.

Tony stood there and watched him go and then shook his head, following after him.

"Does Elvis know about this plan of yours John?" he called out to the other man as he began to climb the steps.

**oooOOOOooo**

**09:00am…**

EJ walked back into the living room after checking on the twins who'd been very happy and full of beans and he found the room now empty. He was about to go and check with the caterers to see that everything was going according to plan when an ear splitting scream cut through the air. EJ jumped, instantly recognising it as Anna's cry and that it was coming from the garden.

"Oh no," he muttered under his breath, "Smokey!"

EJ raced out into the garden fearing the worse. Anna for her part had been enjoying her walk and waiting for her husband to join her when she suddenly had this feeling of being watched. She'd turned slowly around to see what seemed like to her a huge group of peacocks all standing there, looking at her curiously although it seemed more like they were sizing her up to eat her in Anna's mind. She stood stock still, staring in horror at them, not knowing what to do until one of the birds started to walk up to her. Anna panicked, fumbling for her handbag and pulled out the can of mace she always carried with her. She held up the tin and sprayed it directly into the face of the peacock who was approaching her. The peacock screamed, Anna screamed and then she just lost her nerve completely and began to run.

The peacocks who had only come up because they'd figured that there might be some food on the offering were totally confused. Their glorious leader Smokey was nowhere to be seen and he was the one who usually ran the show in these kind of encounters so they were a bit lost. When the screechy creature took off running the peacocks figured that she might be going to take them to food at last so they started off after her. All except for the poor unfortunate one that had been maced of course who was shaking its head, it's eyes watering profusely as it wandered around aimlessly. EJ could see what was happening up ahead and called out to Anna.

"STOP RUNNING!" he shouted to her but Anna either didn't hear him or was too busy running for her life to comply as she ran wildly around the back garden with the peacocks hot on her tail and EJ bringing up the rear and gaining ground on them steadily. John and Tony meanwhile were out on the balcony observing the goings on with some interest. Tony had been listening to John's dreams for a mink jerky farm and where he was going to put it in the back gardens but the drama unfolding below them quickly became more interesting.

"Hmm… my little brother can really move," commented Tony calmly, not at all fazed to see his wife in this kind of predicament, "I guess those long legs of his aren't just for decoration."

"Elvis has been getting a lot of practice at running with the whole no sex thing as well," nodded John impassively as he watched the screaming woman, the stampeding peacocks and EJ attempting to race to the rescue, "I guess things always work out for the best in the end."

Tracy meanwhile had arrived downstairs and only finding catering staff around had started to wander about looking for people. He'd come upstairs and seen the other two men out on the balcony appearing to be watching something.

"Hey," he said casually, joining them on the balcony, "What are you guys doing?"

"Enjoying the show," John informed him casually and nodded at the scene below.

Tracy's eyebrows shot up as he looked down at EJ and Anna and the five peacocks.

"What's happening?" he asked in confusion.

"I think my wife just maced a peacock," said Tony casually and Tracy's eyebrows shot up a little higher at that.

"They hate that," John said expressionlessly.

EJ meanwhile had managed to make up some ground. He'd streaked by the maced peacock who was still staggering around bemusedly and determinedly began to catch up with Anna. He turned a corner to find the peacocks milling around under a tree aimlessly but no Anna. He looked around in confusion.

"EJ!"

The squawk came from above his head and EJ's eyes grew wide.

"How did you get up there?!" he asked in amazement, looking up at Anna in a tree.

"I sat on an acorn and waited for it to grow!" snapped Anna, in no mood for being polite, "How do you think I got up here EJ?! I climbed up!"

EJ looked suitably impressed by that piece of information as he looked up at her.

"Well come on down now," said EJ, holding out his hand to her.

"I'm not coming down there!" she hissed, looking at the peacocks with crazy eyes, "What if one of them bites me and I get poisoned!"

"These are special non venomous peacocks," said EJ straight faced, careful not to show his amusement.

He knew enough by now not to laugh at highly strung women in stressful situations when he couldn't charm his way out of it by having sex with them.

"You're completely safe I promise you," said EJ calmly, "Come on sweetheart, hop down from that tree, you'll do yourself a mischief."

"I'm not coming down until those… those… marauding creatures are gone!" said Anna dramatically.

"Very well then," nodded EJ and turned to the peacocks, "Alright you guys, you've caused enough drama for today, you can all be on your way now… go on with you."

The peacocks looked at EJ and seemed to work out that there was going to be no food forthcoming so did as he asked. EJ looked around as they all headed off as a group wondering where Smokey was. Usually he was front and centre at these kind of happenings. Maybe he really was going to take EJ up on his offer and leave them be for the wedding - he could only hope he supposed.

"They're gone now Anna," EJ informed her and held both his arms out in front of him, "Come on darling, let me help you down."

Roman walked through the gardens wondering where everyone was. He couldn't even find Doc. The place was full of people but just no one he knew. He turned a corner, thinking he'd heard voices and was just in time to see EJ with Anna over his shoulder, his hands on her backside. He stopped in his tracks and stared.

"What is it with you and older women?" he asked in exasperation as he watched his son in law deposit a somewhat dishevelled Anna on the ground carefully.

"HEY!" said Anna indignantly, straightening her clothes with one hand and trying to untangle her hair with the other, "Watch who you're calling old mister! I've got half a can of mace left and I'm not afraid to use it."

"And we've got one bemused peacock willing to testify to that," grinned EJ.

"What happened here?" asked Roman in consternation.

"What happened was that I was set upon by a pack of rabid birds!" exclaimed Anna, flailing her arms around wildly, "I was nearly killed!"

"Birds don't get rabies," said EJ conversationally, "And peacocks come in ostentations, not packs Anna."

Anna just looked at him, clearly unimpressed by the lessons in virology and collective nouns and EJ just tried to give her a charming smile.

"If… I… see… one more… wild animal…" panted Anna dramatically, moving away from then and still brushing herself down, "I am going to start screaming and NEVER stop!"

While Anna had been talking one of the flamingos had come up behind her without Anna noticing. Both EJ and Roman saw it coming but didn't want to upset Anna anymore then she already was. EJ and Roman quickly exchanged glances, seeing disaster looming.

"Tell you what honey," said Roman, moving closer to Anna and trying to keep her attention fixed on him, "Why don't you and I head back to the house and get you cleaned up a bit and maybe a stiff drink? How does that sound?"

"Like the best thing I've heard all day!" exclaimed Anna, looking down at herself, "Look at me, I'm a mess!"

She looked up to see both men looking at her shoulder where unbeknownst to her the flamingo had come up right behind her and was peering over her shoulder.

"What?" she said suddenly concerned, "Do I have something on my shoulder?"

"No!" said EJ quickly but it was too late.

Anna turned her head to look at her shoulder and brush away whatever was there only to come nose to very large beak with the inquisitive flamingo. Anna's eyes widened, her mouth dropped open and for a very long second there was absolutely no sound. The flamingo looked back at her with interest. Until, that is, Anna became unfrozen and started screaming again, her hand looking for and quickly finding the mace still in her handbag and spraying the remainder of its contents into the poor flamingo's face. The flamingo staggered back in shock, its large wings flapping wildly at the sudden assault. EJ grabbed Anna and pulled her out of the way quickly but she'd made good on her promise and had started to scream hysterically, the flamingo adding its own cries to the mix.

"Oh my god now she's maced a flamingo!" exclaimed Tracy in disbelief, "She's on a one woman killing spree… or rather disabling spree I suppose is more accurate but still!"

"That wife of yours sure is loud," commented John calmly, giving his take on the situation.

"You have no idea," agreed Tony stoically, "I suppose I'd better go and help Elvis out - clearly this situation requires the master's touch."


	81. Chapter 81

**Chapter EIGHTY ONE **

**Sami's morning…**

**07:44am…**

"Sami sweetie?" Sami turned and smiled at the sound of her mother's voice, "Can I come in?"

"Of course Mom," said Sami happily, going to the door and opening it to see Marlena standing there with a breakfast try of food.

Her face lit up when she saw the twins were with her also, standing beside their Gami.

"Hello my darlings!" she cooed at them as she crouched down and Ali and Johnny returned in kind, their little faces brightening at seeing their beloved mommy and rushing over to give her a cuddle.

"They wanted to see their mommy," smiled Marlena, "There are people everywhere downstairs and they kept asking for you. I know EJ wanted you to have a day off from being a mom but…"

"Oh of course I want to see my babies Mom!" interrupted Sami happily, "I've missed you guys! Did you have a good breakfast? Did Daddy give you your favourite?"

The twins nodded emphatically at that, both rushing to tell her about their morning so far with excited gabbling. Roger appeared at the doorway, joining in and Sami and Marlena laughed to hear all the excited chatter.

"I've bought you breakfast sweetie," said Marlena, ushering the little crew inside and walking in with the tray of food.

"Oh Mom I'm too nervous and excited to eat," admitted Sami ruefully as she put the twins up on the bed with her and Roger jumped up as well, "My stomach is churning."

"All the more reason to have a good breakfast inside of you," said Marlena, sounding very much like a mom, "You have a big day ahead of you Sami and you'll need your strength."

Lexie's warnings came back to Sami suddenly and she remembered her promise to her sister in law.

"Of course Mom," nodded Sami and smiled, "Thank you, that was very thoughtful of you."

"Well I did think of it," admitted Marlena ruefully as she set the tray down on the bed, "But your husband had already beaten me to it. He made all this for you."

Sami looked down at the tray of food, toast, bacon, eggs, coffee, orange juice, fruit, yoghurt and croissants and her eyes widened.

"I'm only one woman Mom!" she exclaimed with a little laugh, "How does EJ expect me to eat all of this?!"

The twins were already making a grab for various things on the tray and Marlena sat down quickly pulling Johnny into her lap and Sami took Ali into hers so the adults could manage the children a little better.

"It looks like you're going to have some help," laughed Marlena.

"Didn't your daddy feed you enough at breakfast?" Sami teased her children and they just grinned up at her and shook her head.

She handed them both a slice of orange and gave Roger a piece of honeydew and the three little ones munched away happily on that while Sami buttered a piece of toast for herself.

"Is everything going alright downstairs?" asked Sami a little nervously.

It was only early in the morning but Sami was pretty used to things taking a downward turn early when it came to her weddings.

"It's fine honey," Marlena reassured her and stopped Johnny from making a grab for another piece of fruit while he still had a handful of the orange, "Finish what you've already got Johnny, then you can some more."

"Really?" asked Sami sceptically, her brow furrowing nervously, "Nothing's on fire, EJ isn't being deported and is currently in a taxi to the airport or some woman he got married to years ago has turned up and they thought they were divorced but it turns out that they never were and now that means that we haven't been married this whole time and EJ can't marry me because he's already married to some tramp from his past…!"

"Sami, Sami," laughed her mother, putting a calming hand on her daughter's leg as she sat crossed legged on the bed with Ali, her voice starting to rise with growing hysteria, "Calm down. Nothing like that has or will happen. I promise you. Nothing is on fire, EJ is downstairs talking to Tony and Anna and the only other visitor we've had this morning is Joseph and I'm almost certain that he and EJ have never been married."

Sami gave a rueful groan at her mother's teasing and shook her head.

"Sorry Mom," she sighed, "It's just I haven't had the best luck when it comes to weddings - you know that."

"I know," smiled Marlena, looking at her daughter with loving affection, "But I feel like your luck is about to change honey. You've got everyone pulling for you on this one."

"I know," said Sami, suddenly brightening, "Even Dad seems to be slowly coming around to me and EJ being together."

"Your father loves you very much and you're his little girl," said Marlena indulgently, "No man is ever going to be good enough for you in his eyes."

Sami gave a pleased smile at that.

"I know," she said softly, knowing she was going to feel the same way about her children's choices in spouses, "I just want Dad and everyone else to know how very happy EJ has made me. I didn't know that you could even be this happy Mom - it's like a dream."

"Everyone can see how happy the two of you make each other," nodded Marlena, her eyes warm with love for her daughter, "And I'm so glad you've found the contentment that you've looked for so long honey. I'm just sorry I wasn't able to help you better with finding that earlier."

"Oh Mom!" exclaimed Sami, her eyes starting to prick with tears, "Don't say that! You and Dad and everyone did your best by me and I love you all so much for it. You were and are a great mother Mom - I'm so lucky to have you. I love you Mom."

"I love you too honey," said Marlena, smiling back at her through her own suddenly emotional tears.

"Gami?" asked Ali a little uncertainly at seeing her grandmother start to cry a bit.

"Oh it's alright honey bunny," laughed Marlena, seeing her granddaughter's concern and leaning over and giving her a kiss through her tears, "Gami's crying happy tears!"

Johnny instantly felt like he was missing out and planted an slurpy, orangey kiss on Marlena's cheek as well. Mother and daughter wiped away their tears, laughing at the twins carry on.

"Oh I can see I'm going to be crying all day at this rate," joked Marlena, dabbing at her eyes, "I'd better make sure I use my waterproof makeup."

"I know," groaned Sami, "I'm just hoping I can get through saying my vows without bursting into tears!"

Sami gave another groan then and rolled her eyes.

"I'm also worried about doing the same through John's best man's speech," she admitted anxiously, "Did you manage to find out anymore about this speech at all Mom?"

"Sorry honey," said Marlena with a shake of her head and then smiling affectionately at Ali as she picked up another segment of orange and very kindly offered it to Roger who took it with a polite chitter.

He was very gentle when it came to the twins despite them not always being so kind to him in their rush to show him how much they loved him. Roger never seemed to mind though and if it got too much he'd just take himself off to a high place that despite their best attempts the twins just couldn't reach him. Marlena looked at Sami then and gave her a reassuring smile.

"But don't worry Sami," she said confidently, "I've got John under control and we've discussed what is appropriate material for a speech of this kind."

"Mom," said Sami in exasperation, "Siegfried and Roy couldn't control John!"

"There is a certain wildness to the man to be sure," said Marlena with a little smile and wondered why she didn't find that quite as daunting as she used to.

**oooOOOOooo**

**08:18am…**

Eric had left about ten minutes ago and now Sami was just getting everything out that she would need for the day ahead, organising herself and making sure she hadn't forgotten anything. A soft knock came at her door then.

"Yes?" she called out.

"Sami it's Anna," was her answer, "Can I come in?"

"Oh Anna," said Sami happily, "Of course, do."

She walked up to the door and opened it to see Anna standing there. They greeted each other with a hug.

"Come on in," said Sami, stepping back.

"Well I've looked around downstairs," said Anna excitedly, "And Sami honey, everything looks gorgeous!"

"It does doesn't it?" grinned Sami, "It's just how I pictured it in my head and now that RomanTwo has fixed the archway for me everything is just perfect!"

"Oh how did I know that man would be good with his hands as well?" sighed Anna happily and Sami giggled.

"Well he's going to be at the wedding Anna so I'm sure you'll be able to find out what other talents he has," Sami teased the other woman.

"Oh please tell me he's the entertainment at the reception?!" exclaimed Anna excitedly.

"No!" laughed Sami, "He's a guest - sorry to disappoint!"

"Oh a guest is good too," smiled Anna.

"What does Tony think of you flirting with other men?" asked Sami curiously.

"Drives him crazy," said Anna happily.

"I see," said Sami with a shake of her head.

"So…?" asked Anna with expectant excitement, "Do I get to see the wedding dress?"

"Of course," nodded Sami eagerly, happy to show it off.

She walked over to where the dress was hanging on a hanger over the door and pulled away the protective covering on it to reveal the dress underneath.

"Oh my!" gasped Anna in delight as she walked over to the dress, "Oh Sami honey this is to die for!"

The two women stood around the dress as Sami pointed out details to Anna and Anna, ever the fashion doyen took in every little bit of bead work and stitching and made approving noises and observations. Roger watched the two women curiously. He'd been sitting on the dresser when Anna had come in, enjoying playing with the mirror. He liked the looks of the other monkey that looked back at him and enjoyed playing with him when he could. Anna hadn't noticed Roger when she'd come in and now all of her attention was fixated on the wedding dress so when Roger suddenly scampered up Sami's leg and sat on her shoulder Anna let out an almighty scream.

"Oh my god!" she hollered, taking a few hasty steps back, "What is it, what is it?!"

"This is Roger," said Sami in surprise at Anna's extreme reaction, "He's a capuchin monkey."

"He's hideous!" she cried out to which Roger simply stuck his tongue out at Anna for her rudeness.

"No he's not, he's adorable," protested Sami, putting a protective hand up to Roger as he sat on her shoulder, an arm around her head.

"But isn't he covered in fleas and germs?" asked Anna, wrinkling her face in disgust at just the thought of it.

"Of course not Anna," said Sami with a quirk of her lips, "Roger is very clean actually."

"I can't believe you let that thing roam around the house like this," said Anna in disbelief.

"Didn't EJ tell you that John got me a helper monkey when I first got out of hospital?" asked Sami in surprise at Anna's continuing horror.

"He did but I thought he was talking about Rolf," said Anna, still eyeing Roger nervously.

"Oh," said Sami, trying not to laugh at that, "Well he didn't… he meant Roger here. He's really friendly, you can hold him if you like Anna?"

Anna just looked at Sami then like she'd completely lost her mind.

**oooOOOOooo**

**10:37am…**

Sami turned her head at the gentle knock on the bedroom door.

"Who is it?" she called out.

"It's me."

"You can't come in EJ," laughed Sami with a shake of her head, coming to stand by the door.

"I have to kiss you Samantha," said EJ, sounding very desperate now, "I've tried to be strong but I'm starting to get chest pains from withdrawals at not having touched you properly today. I'm a man on the edge sweetheart!"

"EJ!" she groaned, feeling the same way, "We can't!"

"What if I promise, on our children's lives, that I will keep my eyes closed the whole time?" asked EJ hopefully, "I swear Samantha, not even the smallest peek… I just need to hold you in my arms today otherwise I'm pretty certain I'm going to go insane."

Sami bit her lip and looked worried as she weighed up his proposal. She was just as desperate for him to hold her as he was but she couldn't help but fret. Sami knew she was being silly and that it was just an old wives tale about it being bad luck to for the groom to see the bride on their wedding day but with her past history she just didn't feel like she could afford to tempt fate.

"I promise Samantha," he prompted her and Sami couldn't say no to that warm voice of his any longer.

"Alright but you'd better keep your word EJ DiMera!" Sami threatened him, "Or else!"

EJ grinned and pushed open the door, walking triumphantly in, his eyes tightly closed. He knew this room so well he didn't need his eyes to be open to be able to navigate around. The soft smell of her perfume told him where she was standing and he started to walk confidently towards her after closing the bedroom door behind him.

"EJ," she warned him, "The chin up bar…"

"I know," interrupted EJ, easily ducking his head without needing her prompting, "That thing may have been my arch nemesis in the past but I've got it's numbe… AAHAAHGH!"

EJ did a sudden face plant onto the carpet floor with a strangled cry.

"Oh EJ!" exclaimed Sami in horror, her hands going to her mouth before she rushed over to him, "Are you alright?"

Sami knelt down beside him as he lay face down on the ground, making pained little noises.

"I took the chin up bar down this morning so you wouldn't have to worry about it anymore," explained Sami hurriedly, putting her hand on EJ's back.

"That was very thoughtful of you sweetheart," said EJ calmly, his voice muffled by carpet, "And what pray tell did I just trip over exactly?"

"Umm…," said Sami, pulling a rueful face, "The chin up bar?"

"Right," said EJ stoically, "Of course, it just had to have one last go at me on the way out didn't it?"

"I'm so sorry EJ," she said, caught between being horror and amusement.

"It's fine darling," grimaced EJ and put a tentative hand to his forehead as he straightened up, eyes still faithfully closed, "Am I bleeding at all?"

"No," smiled Sami and took his hand, "Come on, sit on the bed and let me have a proper look at it."

EJ let her lead him to the bed, quickly forgetting about his aches and pains as soon as he felt Sami sit next to him, her thigh pressed up against his. He gave a little smile at the gentle touch of her hand to his face as she checked him over.

"You'll live," she pronounced her diagnosis.

"Mm," sighed EJ happily, missing her soft touch as her hand dropped away.

He searched for her hand and encircled her slim wrist, bringing it to his face and holding it there.

"Don't stop," he implored her and Sami obligingly stroked his face, feeling her love for him well up inside of her, almost painful in its intensity.

"What's that smell?" asked Sami suddenly in confusion, momentarily distracted from her ministrations and sniffing the air at the funny scent.

EJ froze for a second, realising he must still have traces of mace on his hands after washing down the poor unfortunate peacock and flamingo that had been a victim of Anna's overenthusiastic self defence techniques. The birds were fine now but decidedly on edge after their encounter with his sister in law. In fact EJ fancied that the flamingo had developed somewhat of a nervous tic after it all but that could have just been due to the after effects of the mace.

"Ah… you know I really don't know," said EJ quickly, "Probably just picked it up from moving things around for the caterers."

No matter what EJ was determined that Sami have her perfect day and there was no need for her to hear about the slight hiccup from earlier that morning. Anna was out of the tree, she'd already had a couple of scotches despite the early hour and the peacocks and flamingos were off somewhere in the back of the garden possibly trying to work out what had just happened as well. All was well and EJ still hadn't seen hide nor feather of Smokey so he was going to put on his happy face and take that as a positive sign.

"You know I though I heard screaming before," said Sami with a bit of a frown.

"Really?" asked EJ, feigning surprise, "I didn't hear anything - maybe someone had the TV on in one of the rooms or something."

"I guess," said Sami, slowly and then looked at EJ who still had his eyes faithfully closed, "You'd tell me if something was wrong wouldn't you EJ?"

"Of course darling," said EJ smoothly, "But there is simply nothing to tell - now please, stop worrying."

"Maybe I could stop worrying if you distracted me for a little while EJ?" she offered up coyly.

"Distracted you eh?" asked EJ, a smile tugging at his lips, "And how would I do that then… maybe a game of cards or something like that?"

"I think I'd win," noted Sami humorously, "You have to keep your eyes closed remember?"

"Excellent point sweetheart," grinned EJ, "Maybe we should play another game then… one I can do with my eyes closed…"

EJ moved closer to Sami on the bed, one of his hands reaching out for her and finding her face, cupping a cheek in one large hand. He moved towards her confidently, knowing her face so well and found her lips easily and Sami melted into his kiss. His first touch was gentle but it instantly became more, the taste of her inflaming EJ and he had to have more. His tongue thrust it's way into Sami's mouth, doing battle with her tongue and demanding more. Sami turned her body more, pressing it into his, loving the way he was all hardness and angles to her softness and curves.

"God!" he groaned, against her mouth before tearing his lips from hers and dragging them down her long neck, "I'm rethinking the kiss at the end of the ceremony now!"

"You… you are?" she panted in surprise.

EJ lifted his head and even though his eyes were still closed she knew they were full of desperate hunger just likes hers were.

"Yes," he said in anguish, his hand coming up and wrapping itself around her neck before he started to kiss along her jaw line, "Because I'm going to start kissing you and not be able to stop - I don't know if I'm going to be able to stop myself from making love to you right there at the altar Samantha!"

"Well that will certainly give everyone something to talk about," said Sami with a little laugh, trying not to picture that in her mind's eye and failing, shuddering wantonly at the thought of it.

"This ceremony is going to go without a hitch Samantha," he told her determinedly, pressing his forehead against hers, "And then we'll make it through the reception and then…"

"And then we'll have our wedding night," she breathed, closing her eyes as well, "And I'll get to show you just exactly how much I adore you EJ DiMera."

Sami moved and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

"Over…" another kiss, this time to her his jaw, "And over…"

Her lips were at his chin now with a soft kiss.

"… and over again," she promised him throatily, kissing his lips then, "Until you're begging me to stop. I'm going to do things to you EJ that are illegal in most states and…"

"Stop!" he groaned painfully, her words driving him crazy, "I'm not going to be able to let you leave this room let alone walk down the aisle if you keep going Samantha. I'm about to blow all that hard work we've put in for the last month if you don't stop sweetheart!"

"But I want you to blow EJ," she whispered huskily into his ear, unable to stop herself from teasing him like this knowing he'd make her pay for it tonight and the thought made her so unbelievably wet, "Deep inside of me as you make me come."

"Sweet Mary Mother of God!" gasped EJ shakily, sweat starting to bead on his forehead, "Samantha!"

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ walked down the stairs on unsteady legs, barely able to believe he'd been able to make himself leave Samantha after what she'd said and done to him. His heart hammered erratically in his chest as he imagined all the things he was going to do to her that night to extract revenge for her latest round of torture of him. EJ walked into the sitting room and attempted to take some deep, calming breaths.

"Lolly!"

The sound of Joseph's nickname for him said so loudly made EJ start a little and he turned around to see a wide eyed Joseph looking back at him. Joseph had settled on the pet name when he'd heard it was the English word for candy. In Joseph's mind it was perfect - something sweet and delicious looking that he wouldn't mind sucking on seemed just about right when he thought of the handsome Brit.

"Hello sweetie!" said Joseph, his voice higher then normal and sounding somewhat stressed although he was obviously trying to hide it, "How are you? I mean you look great but then you always look great so…"

"Are you alright Joseph?" asked EJ, looking him up and down suspiciously.

EJ tried to look behind Joseph when he heard the kitchen door that led out into the foyer corridor swing open and shut but Joseph moved quickly, coming to stand directly in front of EJ and smiled brightly up at him.

"I'm fine love lumps," said Joseph happily despite the definite glint of panic in his eyes, "Why do you ask?"

"Because you're sweating," noted EJ with a little frown.

"Oh I always sweat at weddings honey," said Joseph with a casual wave of his hand, "It's a… um… it's a gay thing."

EJ arched a sceptical eyebrow at that but didn't press him on it.

"And you're wearing washing up gloves," he continued on, looking down at Josephs' pink rubber clad hands.

"Oh," said Joseph faintly, looking down at his hands as well, "Well that's for… umm… for luck!"

EJ gave a confused frown at that but Joseph barrelled on.

"It's… it's a tradition in my family," said Joseph hastily, "One person at the wedding has to wear washing up gloves for a little while before the wedding starts."

"Ah… why?" asked EJ in confusion.

"It… it brings good luck for the couple," said Joseph hastily.

"How?" asked EJ in consternation.

"I don't know sugar!" said Joseph in exasperation, "It's just a family thing - you don't ask why! Just like you don't ask why my Uncle Edgar isn't allowed back in the state of Utah anymore! Sometimes it's best not to question these things alright?!"

"Alright Joseph," said EJ, holding up his hands in a conciliatory fashion, "Calm down, I didn't mean to upset you. If you're doing the… umm… the glove thing for Samantha and I then I thank you for it… on both of our behalves."

"Oh I'm sorry honey," said Joseph, apologising himself quickly, "I just get a little emotional at weddings you know?"

"I know," smiled EJ.

"_Hey Joe - what happened, did you get lost or something?!"_

Eric's voice came to them from out in the foyer.

"I'm coming!" called back Joseph and he smiled brightly up at EJ, "Well I've got to get going."

"What are you and Eric doing?" asked EJ curiously.

"Oh just hanging," said Joseph with a casual wave, "You know, guy stuff."

"I'm glad you and Eric get on so well," smiled EJ, "You've become an important member of this family you know Joseph."

"Oh sweetie!" said Joseph, looking very touched by that, "What a lovely thing to say."

"_Joe! Stuff to do remember?!"_

Eric's insistent call came again.

"Looks like you're in demand," laughed EJ easily, "I know Samantha has you lined up for a few jobs that she insists she only trusts you with today also. It seems to me you're going to have a finger in a few pies today."

"Oh pie," sighed Joseph despondently, "I _wish_!"

"Sorry?" asked EJ in confusion.

"Nothing!" said Joseph quickly, backing up, "Well I'd better go - don't like to keep my men waiting."

"Bye Joseph," said EJ as he disappeared around the corner.

EJ walked out after him to find both Eric and Joseph gone now and shook his head. Whatever they were up to he trusted them enough to know that it wasn't anything that was going to affect the wedding. After all they loved Samantha almost as much as he did. EJ walked back into the sitting room and then onto the kitchen to get a drink of water. He stopped then and looked down at the single peacock feather that was on the floor in the kitchen. EJ tilted his head and bent down, picking up the feather and looking at it with intrigue.

"Hmm."


	82. Chapter 82

**Chapter EIGHTY TWO**

**Eric and Joseph's afternoon…**

**13:41pm…**

"I think we should wash them one more time," observed Joseph as he and Eric stood around the laundry sink.

"Joe, if I scrub these things one more time gold is going to start coming off!" said Eric in exasperation as he washed off the detergent from the pair of wedding rings once again.

"All I can see when I look at them is…" began Joseph, scrunching up his face in horror.

"Alright, alright," said Eric hastily, "We were both there Joe, no need to rehash the past!"

"Oh there you two are."

EJ walked into the laundry room as Eric and Joseph quickly turned around and faced him, acting very casual in a guilty kind of way.

"Hi Lolly," said Joseph brightly, "Boo and I were just… were just…"

Joseph faltered then, not actually being able to come up with a plausible explanation for what they were doing in the laundry.

"Sami asked us to check all the rooms of the house to make sure disaster was looming in any of them," Eric helped him out as he unobtrusively pocketed the wedding rings.

"Really?" asked EJ in surprise and then gave a resigned sigh and seeming to take that at face value, "My poor darling Samantha - she really is worried about this wedding having some kind of disaster isn't she?"

"But there is no disaster here," said Joseph quickly, beginning to sweat slightly, "No siree; we are disaster free - that's for sure and certain. In fact if you look up the word disaster in the dictionary you will _not_ see a picture of us let me tell you…"

"Alright thank you Joe!" said Eric determinedly when it didn't seem like Joseph could get himself to stop talking, "We've got the idea."

EJ gave a bit of a frown then, looking back and forth between the two men suspiciously.

"Eric," he said calmly, fixing the other man with his best lawyer look, the one that always got him the truth, "Nothing's happened to Samantha and mine's wedding rings has it?"

"What do you mean EJ?" asked Eric, pretending affront.

"I mean you and Joseph have been running around the place today - just hangin' - and I'm beginning to think that you're up to something," said EJ, looking between the two of them with growing unease, "Please tell me you still have the rings Eric?"

Eric reached into his pocket and pulled out the dual wedding rings and held them out to EJ who took them, rather sheepishly then. He looked at the two gold bands in his hand and gave the two of them an apologetic smile.

"I'm sorry," said EJ ruefully, "I don't know why I was suddenly so worried about these Eric - as if you would ever let anything happen to them."

"It's fine," said Eric, fixing a bright smile on his face, "You know you can count on me EJ - we're family."

"I know," said EJ with a smile and looked down at the rings with great emotion, "I guess I'm just on edge for this wedding to go just right for Samantha's sake. The fact that my uncle is also about to give a wedding speech that will probably necessitate that Samantha and I leave town directly after it doesn't exactly help either. When I think what Uncle John talks about in casual conversations I can't help but cower in quiet terror as to what he will think is appropriate material for a best man's speech."

"It will be fine honey," said Joseph, trying to be reassuring.

EJ gave him a despondently sceptical look at that and Joseph grimaced.

"Ah… we'll still love you and the blonde kitten," he offered up helpfully instead, knowing that it was unlikely that it would be fine.

"Anyway," sighed EJ, his face still etched with deep concern, "I suppose we'll cross that bridge when we come to it… or throw ourselves off it… whichever option takes our fancy at the time I suppose."

EJ looked down at the rings in his hand and felt a great wave of emotion knowing he was going to be able to place Sami's ring back on her finger very soon and she would do the same with his. EJ smiled and before he handed the rings back to Eric, impulsively kissed each ring in turn. Joseph made a strangled gasping sound at the sight, grabbing Eric's arm as they both tried to remain calm. EJ handed the rings back to Eric who took them with a weak smile.

"I'll see you both when you've finished your mission for Samantha," grinned EJ, "Make sure you report back to her and tell her everything is going swimmingly."

"Aye aye captain," nodded Eric, fixing a smile to his face and the two men watched as EJ headed back out of the laundry.

"Oh my god, oh my god!" exclaimed Joseph when EJ was out of ear shot and flapping his arms around wildly, "Wash them again, wash them again!"

"Agreed," said Eric quickly, turning around and grabbing more detergent and squirting it on the rings, as freaked out as Joseph was at seeing EJ's lips on the gold bands.

_It only he knew._

Joseph watched Eric frantically scrubbing at the rings yet again and made a decision.

"We have to do something to help out Lolly!" announced Joseph dramatically.

"Joe, I'm scrubbing as hard as I can here," said Eric in exasperation.

"No, no," said Joseph with a shake of his head, "We have to make up for this to them both."

"EJ and Sami are _never_ going to know about this!" said Eric with great certainty.

"Oh my heavens no!" agreed Joseph emphatically, "I wish _I_ never knew about it! But I do feel like we owe them for, well, you know. I think they deserve some peace of mind don't you?"

Eric stopped in his cleaning and looked at Joseph curiously.

"What do you have in mind Joe?" he asked Eric with interest, tilting his head at him.

"I have an idea," said Joseph knowingly.

**oooOOOOooo**

**14:21pm…**

"I can't believe you talked me into this Joe!" said Eric, nervously looking around himself as they stood in the kitchen together, being careful to keep his voice down as all the caterers and wait staff were moving around, coming and going.

"Relax," said Joseph with an attempt at a casual wave of his hand, "This will work Boo - don't fret!"

"Don't fret?" repeated Eric incredulously, "Are you kidding me Joe?"

"I've done this before," said Joseph, pouring some of the punch that was on the table into a tall glass, "It will be fine."

"You've done this before?" asked Eric, his eyes wide, "Why… no wait, don't answer that!"

Joseph meanwhile had reached into his pocket and taken out a little white capsule which he was currently snapping open and emptying the contents into the drink he'd just poured while Eric made sure to block what Joseph was up to from any prying eyes.

"Are you sure this won't hurt him?" asked Eric anxiously.

"I would never do anything to hurt my Black Bear!" said Joseph, sounding offended at even the thought of it, "This will just put him to sleep for the reception."

"Won't people think it's odd that John's just nodded off all of a sudden?" asked Eric still uncertain that this was such a good idea.

"First of all this is Black Bear we're talking about," said Joseph reasonably, "Everything he does people think is odd, so it won't seem odd at all… if you know what I mean. Second of all I think everyone is just going to be so relieved that no one is going to ask too many questions Boo!"

Joseph began to stir the powder into the punch.

"And how long before it takes effect?" asked Eric, still fretting.

"Oh this stuff gives you a good hour at least, especially someone of my big old bear's size," said Joseph knowledgably, "I'll just give him this drink, he'll be fine through the ceremony and then sleepy bo bo's for the reception. He'll wake up tomorrow feeling refreshed and revitalised and meanwhile Lolly and Kitten can have an incident free reception and just enjoy themselves."

"I guess," said Eric, still not sounding that certain though, "It's just that I've got a bad feeling about this Joe."

"I had a bad feeling when I was extracting their wedding rings from a peacocks butt hole!" exclaimed Joseph and Eric quickly shushed him, conscious of the people milling around and Joseph continued on more quietly, "We owe them this Eric. No one is going to get hurt and in the end everyone will thank us for it."

"But no one is going to know it's us right?" asked Eric anxiously.

"Oh hell no!" exclaimed Joseph emphatically.

"A little help!"

The sound of one of the caterers calling out distracted Eric and Joseph from their plotting as they saw the man staggering under the weight of a large crate of wine with a tray of food balanced precariously on top of it as he tried to get through the door. Both men rushed to help him, taking the food tray and keeping the door open for him.

"Thanks guys," said the man appreciatively as he deposited the crate on the ground, "Bit off more than I could chew there."

"No problem man," nodded Eric.

A strangled squawk behind Eric made him turn around to see Joseph standing there, looking like something had just been set loose in his pants, his eyes wide and face suddenly sweating.

"What's wrong?" asked Eric, walking over to him.

"It's gone," whimpered Joseph.

"What?" asked Eric in confusion.

"It's gone, it's gone, IT'S GONE!" repeated Joseph with ever increasing volume as he began to panic in earnest, "The drink - it's GONE!"

Eric looked around himself and couldn't see the 'customised' drink anywhere.

"Are you sure you left it here?" asked Eric, his own anxiety level starting to rise.

"I left it on the sink Boo!" said Joseph, his voice getting more and more high pitched, "I know I did and now it's gone!"

Both men turned around and looked at all the people coming and going.

"Oh no," said Joseph weakly.

"Don't panic Joe," said Eric, trying to think on his feet, "It couldn't have gotten far. We'll just go outside and see who's got a glass of punch and intercept it - no problem."

The two of them rushed to the kitchen door and out into the living room before coming to a dead halt.

"Holy crap on a stick!" exclaimed Eric weakly as he looked around at the room full of people, almost all of the guests having arrived by now and all of them appeared to have been served a glass of punch by the industrious wait staff.

There would be no way of telling which was their glass of doctored punch. Eric watched, frozen to the spot in horror as all of his friends and family sipped away at their potentially sleep inducing drinks.

"Boo!" gasped Joseph, grabbing at Eric's arm as his legs began to buckle underneath him, going into a half swoon.

"I'm thinking, I'm thinking," said Eric hurriedly, wondering what the hell they were going to do now.

"And how are two of my favourite boys?" asked Emily, suddenly appearing beside them, glass of punch in her hand.

Joseph gave a strangled cry and knocked the wine glass from Emily's hand just as she went to raise it to her lips. Emily arched a cool eyebrow, looking down at the spilt drink now soaking into the carpet where thankfully the glass hadn't broken.

"Something I said?" she asked them straight faced.

**oooOOOOooo**

"Alright then," said Emily calmly as she settled into a seat across from Eric, "Are you going to tell me what's given you that panicked look in your eye my dear? In both of your eyes actually."

Eric moved around in the chair awkwardly and looked back at Emily's steady gaze. He'd taken her to one of the side rooms figuring if anyone might have a sage suggestion for this particular crisis then it would be Emily.

"I don't really know how to say this," began Eric hesitantly, "At least so it will make any kind of sense."

"Just start at the beginning dear," said Emily easily, "Remember a problem shared is a problem halved."

"I think this problem may need more whittling down then that," observed Eric morosely.

"Perhaps it isn't as bad as you think?" offered up Emily kindly, "These things rarely are you know."

"Oh no," said Eric with great certainty, "This is as bad as I think - that I know for sure. Just how bad it is though kind of depends on who gets the short straw."

"You're being very mysterious Boo," said Emily with a quirk of her lips and looked at him enquiringly, silently suggesting he should go on.

"I'm thinking I'm going to need to put it in context," began Eric hesitantly, "You know, so it makes some kind of sense."

"Alright then," nodded Emily.

"EJ gave his and Sami's wedding rings for me to look after before the wedding," said Eric quickly, "Long story short - Smokey ate them so after a few different attempts at retrieving them in the end Joseph had to shove his fingers up Smokey's back passage to get them back."

"Oh," said Emily, taking the news calmly, "I fear Smokey is not going to let that one go by without some retribution."

"That is the least of our problems right now," said Eric gloomily, not worried at the moment about a peacock with a vendetta, "Besides, EJ's bought Smokey off with sex so I'm hoping that will cover it."

"Oh my," said Emily with a small twitch of her lips, "I see that I've missed a lot in the last couple of days by being out of town. And how exactly does EJ tie into all this? I'm going to go ahead and assume the sex he bought Smokey off with was with a peahen."

"Yeah," nodded Eric, "He showed Smokey the peahen and said he could have her when the ceremony went off without a hitch."

"Well that sounds like my boy," said Emily in amusement, "Ever the pragmatist when it comes to these things. So what exactly is the problem Eric - did EJ get upset when he heard about the rings?"

"NO!" said Eric sharply, "EJ doesn't know about the rings - EJ will _never_ know about the rings!"

"Possibly a wise course of action," nodded Emily with a little smile at Eric's frantic assertions, "But I'm still waiting to hear what the problem is Eric. You have the rings back, no one knows… so…?"

Emily gave a bewildered little shrug at that then.

"We wanted to make sure Sami and EJ's wedding was incident free," said Eric, starting to sweat a little now, "So we figured the only major worry that they have is John's best man speech."

"It does promise to be an unique outing if any of his previous form is anything to go by," nodded Emily with a little smile.

"Well EJ and Sami are really freaking out about it," continued on Eric, "So Joseph suggested that we remove John from the equation."

"So what?" asked Emily straight faced, "Did you put a hit out on him or something?"

"No," said Eric with a grimace wishing they had because at least they could have called that off, "Joseph put some sleeping pills in a drink we were going to give him so he'd be awake for the wedding but would doze off for the reception - therefore, no speech."

"I see," said Emily, apparently unfazed by this information, "So what was… oh."

Emily trailed off and made a little surprised expression then, looking back at Eric who had started sweating again.

"You lost the drink didn't you?" she deduced correctly, "That is why Joseph didn't let me drink mine and now you have no way of knowing who it is that is going to get an unexpected visit from The Sandman, is that correct?"

"Yes," said Eric weakly.

"Oh my," said Emily, sitting back in her seat, "That is a pretty pickle you two have gotten yourself into now isn't it."

"Do you have any suggestions?" asked Eric in desperate hopefulness.

"Well I hear Argentina is lovely this time of year," noted Emily calmly.

"Emily!" groaned Eric, slumping back in his chair.

"Pack light," she encouraged him.

**oooOOOOooo**

"Has anyone seen Roman?" asked Anna, looking around the crowded room at all the wedding guests.

"There he is," pointed out John, nodding at RomanTwo who was standing talking to Tony.

"No, no," said Anna in exasperation, "The one who doesn't take his pants off!"

"Then how does he go to the bathroom?" asked John seriously.

"I think Anna means that he takes his pants off but just not for money," supplied RomanTwo casually, joining the conversation at hearing his name and looking unfazed.

"I wish people would pay me to take my pants off for money," grumbled John.

"I think the general feeling is that we'd be paying you to keep them on John," said Lexie dryly who had been talking to John when Anna had approached.

"Speak for yourself," said Anna and her husband just rolled his eyes at her carry on, unconcerned.

"The last time I saw Roman he was with EJ," offered up Lexie helpfully, "But that was a while ago now and I haven't seen either of them since."

"Well maybe they're still together," commented Tony.

"But where are they?" asked Anna, starting to get worried now, "Marlena sent me to go and get Roman so he could be ready to walk Sami down the aisle and now you're telling me that we don't even know if we have a groom anymore?"

"EJ won't have gone far," said RomanTwo calmly, "He would never do anything to jeopardise this wedding day."

"We should look for them," said Lexie with a frown, "The wedding ceremony is due to start in less than fifteen minutes."

John, RomanTwo, Lexie and Tony all nodded, thinking that was a good idea.

"We've got a lot of area to search," said Lexie, taking charge, "We should split up."

There delegations were interrupted by the sudden sound of the amp system coming to life.

"Oh hello, hello…" Joseph stood up the front of the room, tapping on the microphone to see if it was working.

He looked around at the roomful of people who were all looking back at him now, smiling.

"Hello!" he said chirpily and waved happily back at them, "For those of you who don't know me I'm Joseph and I thought I'd just say a quick hello to you all to introduce myself

"I don't know if this is the most subtle way to go about this," noted Emily dryly as she and Eric looked on at Joseph's little fact finding mission from the side lines.

"Well seeing as the only help you could offer involves me learning a foreign language and stocking up in sunscreen I say we let Joseph give his idea a go," commented Eric flatly.

"Sooo…" said Joseph brightly, looking around the room, "Who here is feeling drowsy…?"


	83. Chapter 83

**Chapter EIGHTY THREE**

**EJ'S Afternoon…**

**14:32pm…**

EJ swallowed the last of his punch and set down the wine glass on a nearby counter, smiling as his sister approached him.

"Don't you look handsome," she smiled up at him, putting a hand out to brush away some imaginary fluff from EJ's dark suit.

"Thank you," smiled EJ, "And you look simply stunning yourself I have to say Alexandra."

"Why thank you little brother," laughed Lexie, "These shoes are killing me though!"

"Ah beauty is pain," grinned EJ, "Isn't that what they say?"

"I believe it is," nodded Lexie with an answering smile, "How's it been going today?"

"Despite a small macing incident it has been a very boring day thus far," EJ informed her, sounding relieved.

"Ah… macing?" repeated Lexie with a raised eyebrow.

"A peacock and a flamingo found out the hard way that Anna is not an animal lover and is not one to keep her feelings to herself," said EJ with a wry smile.

"Oh no!" exclaimed Lexie, "It wasn't Smokey was it?!"

Lexie actually feared for the safety of everyone in this room if that was the case!

"No," EJ shook his head, "I haven't seen Smokey all day in fact which I'm trying to work out if that is a good thing or a bad thing."

"Well until something happens I recommend you taking it as a good thing," nodded Lexie and then smiled up at EJ, "And you can just enjoy your wedding day."

EJ looked down at his watch then and grinned back at his sister.

"Less than half an hour to go and Samantha and I will be exchanging our vows," observed EJ happily.

"Have you seen Sami today?" asked Lexie, looking at her brother curiously and thinking about the conversation she'd had with Sami yesterday.

"No," said EJ with a shake of his head and then gave his sister a playful wink, "Although I did manage to sneak into her room for a little alone time but my eyes were firmly closed the whole time."

"Oh," said Lexie with a little laugh, picturing that, "And how was she?"

"She sounded gorgeous as always," said EJ with a dreamy smile, "I can't wait until she's walking down that aisle towards me Lexie. In fact it's going to take all my will power not to run down and meet her half way and simply sweep her off her feet!"

"You'd better not," said a voice behind them, "I'm intending on walking my little girl all the way down that aisle."

"Roman," said EJ with a smile as he turned around and faced his father in law and gave a little smile, "Don't worry, I intend to control myself."

"Glad to hear that," said Roman wryly and then smiled at Lexie, "You look beautiful today Lexie."

"Thank you Roman," smiled Lexie and then gave a little pained grimace, "I haven't told Abe how much this dress cost yet though, I'm waiting for the right moment."

"Whatever it was it was worth every penny," said EJ with a smile.

"EJ's right," nodded Roman, "That husband of yours is a lucky man."

"I know," said Lexie with a twinkle in her eye, "I tell him that frequently."

They all gave a little laugh at that.

"EJ," said Roman, bringing up why he'd walked over to them, "I was talking to one of the caterers and they said that you were going to organise some special bottles of wine for the toasting?"

"Yes," nodded EJ enthusiastically, "It's one of my most favourite wines - a 1986 Chateau Mouton Rothschild Pauillac - an excellent vintage. It has notes of chocolate, raspberries and spices to it with a wonderfully elongated after taste. I thought it would be perfect to toast with."

"I'm more of a beer man myself," said Roman stoically.

"This wine might change your mind Roman," smiled EJ, undeterred, "It really is quite excellent."

"Well at $600 a bottle it should be," noted Lexie wryly, recognising the name and knowing it didn't come cheaply.

"You get what you pay for," said EJ firmly.

"So the caterers were wondering if they could have the wine so they could get organised for dinner tonight," prompted Roman, "Do I tell them just to go down to the wine cellar?"

"Oh no," said EJ with a shake of his head, "My uncle would have a fit even though he only really drinks scotch. Besides, it's locked away in a special room where the more expensive wines are kept. I'll go and get them myself."

"Well you'll need a hand I suppose," volunteered Roman.

"Seeing as these shoes were not made for walking in I'll leave you to it then," said Lexie, giving a little wave to John who was standing over by the sofa, "I'm going to talk to John."

"Good idea Lexie," nodded EJ approvingly, "And if you don't mind overseeing what he puts in his mouth for me - I just stopped him from eating the garnishes for the appetisers before."

"Oh a little bit of parsley isn't going to hurt him," said Lexie, laughing at her brother's fussing, "It's good for you actually - full of Vitamin C."

"He was eating the little plastic doves Samantha had organised as decoration for the platters," said EJ flatly, "Correct me if I'm wrong Lexie but I don't think there are many vitamins in that. The last thing I want is for this wedding to end with having to race our uncle to the emergency room to have his stomach pumped or some bit of plastic dislodged from his throat!"

"I take your point," grinned Lexie, "I'll keep an eye on him for you."

"That would be much appreciated," grimaced EJ as he and Roman headed off to the wine cellar.

A couple of minutes later they were standing in the wine cellar and Roman was looking about himself at the large, darkened room.

"Stefano had quite the collection didn't he?" observed Roman calmly.

"My father was an avid wine collector," agreed EJ as he retrieved the key from behind one of the barrels.

Roman gave EJ a considered look then, watching as he went to unlock a little side room.

"You know they managed to pull a bullet from the gloop that was your father," commented Roman, watching EJ closely, "The tech guys."

EJ hesitated for the barest fraction of a second but then kept on with unlocking the door.

"Is that right?" he asked coolly, not turning around, "And do you think that will give you any clues as to who actually killed my father?"

Roman came to stand beside him, watching as he undid the lock to the door.

"The bullet was pretty badly messed up from going through the thrasher," Roman informed him, "There is no way the lab guys could match it up to any gun in particular."

"Oh," said EJ casually, opening the door and walking into the tiny room, which was no bigger than a closet really, "I guess we'll never know then eh Roman?"

"Does that bother you?" asked Roman and EJ could hear the cop in the other man's voice coming out.

Roman was no fool and despite the 'Hooters alibi' EJ knew that he had doubts about what actually did happen that night but without proof he was more or less stuck.

"My relationship with my father was complicated, to say the least," said EJ, turning around in the small room and facing Roman as Roman held the door open with his foot, "But the bottom line is that man kidnapped my wife and children, separated our twins and handed one of them over to a man who was clearly unhinged and then tried and very nearly damn well succeeded in killing Samantha…"

EJ paused then, his face suddenly becoming hard as he remembered the fear he'd felt, sitting beside Sami's bed and not knowing whether she was going to live or die and the horror of watching her drown right in front of his eyes.

"My father was an evil man who knew no limits when it came to getting what he wanted," said EJ tightly, "For me to suggest that this world is anything other than a better place without him would be asinine of me Roman. Whoever did this to my father deserves a medal in my opinion."

Roman looked back at him steadily for a long moment before speaking, crossing his arms in front himself.

"As an officer of the law I have to say that whatever Stefano's past misdeeds might have been he is still deserving of having his killer bought to justice," said Roman and EJ slowly nodded his head at that but then Roman continued on, "But as a father and a husband who's life and the lives of everyone he's ever loved has been threatened and destroyed by that man I say he got what he deserved. I for one would like to buy the person responsible for ridding this world of that inhuman monster a beer after you're done pinning a medal on them."

Roman and EJ stared back at each other, holding each other's gaze unblinkingly for a long moment, a silent communication of understanding passing between them.

"Roman," said EJ quietly, turning around to face the older man more squarely, "I've wanted to say something to you for a long time now and today seems a good day for the truth. I know you have always had reservations about Samantha and I being together… and with good reason. You and I both know that there have been times that I have indeed been my father's son."

Roman didn't say anything, just looked back at him steadily.

"There are a great many things I regret about my conduct here in Salem when I first arrived," continued on EJ, determined to say this, "And there is nothing I regret more than… than what I did to Samantha that night on the mountain. My guilt about that haunts me and I know it will until my dying day."

"Good!" snapped Roman, his father's heart both breaking and swelling with rage over what the man in front of him had done to his daughter.

"There is nothing I can say to make up for what I did that night," said EJ, swallowing hard as his own memories of it caused a painful twisting in his stomach, "Samantha, because she is a truly amazing woman, has forgiven me which still amazes me but I don't expect that same level of grace from anyone else… I don't deserve it, never will. It was unforgivable what I did and even though I wish it were so, no amount of apologies about that night will change the fact that I took something from Samantha that wasn't offered freely."

Roman's jaw tightened the muscles in his cheek jumping as he held himself in check.

"Samantha says that none of that matters now," said EJ, talking almost to himself now, "That if it hadn't happened we wouldn't have the joy of Ali and Johnny in our lives and that much is true. But the truth is it does matter… it will always matter."

EJ looked down then, collecting his thoughts for a moment before looking up and continuing.

"I didn't really understand you know," he said with a little frown, "I mean, I knew it was wrong what I'd done but until I held Ali in my arms that very first time I didn't understand properly what it was that I'd done. Even before I knew she was mine I loved that little girl with all of my heart Roman, so much so it almost hurt to look at her I loved her so much."

Roman looked back at EJ and couldn't mistake the sincerity in the younger man's face.

"I know," conceded Roman with a little nod of his head, "I know you did EJ."

"I would hold this precious little creature in my arms and rock her to sleep at night," said EJ, his voice wrought with emotion, "And all I could think about was how I wanted to protect her and keep her safe from anything that might ever hurt her in this world. The thought of someone doing to Ali what I did to Samantha…"

EJ trailed off, his own jaw clenching tightly as he attempted to compose himself again and it was a long minute before he could find his voice.

"I would want to kill them," said EJ through gritted teeth, "With my bare hands for laying even a finger on my little girl, on my child."

EJ held Roman's gaze intently then.

"I understand that you will always hate me for what I did to Samantha," he told him determinedly, "And you're right to do so Roman. What I did should never be forgiven… it was too heinous an act to simply be swept away, no matter what Samantha might say now. But I want to tell you Roman, pledge to you that I am going to spend the rest of my life making up for the mistakes I made with Samantha in the past. I promise you that she and our children will always be first in my heart and I will do what it takes to protect them from any further harm in this world. I love Samantha, more than I thought humanly possible and there is nothing I wouldn't do for her and our children, nothing and I just want to be given a chance to prove that Roman."

Roman didn't speak for a long moment then, weighing up EJ's words until he finally spoke.

"I know my daughter loves you," he said calmly, "And I would be a blind man to see that you aren't making her happy. I know that you love her but…"

"But I'm a DiMera and what do any of us really know about love?" finished off EJ for him a little bitterly.

"You have to admit that you didn't exactly have the healthiest role model in Stefano now did you EJ?" pointed out Roman.

"You're right," nodded EJ, "But I'm more than just my father's son Roman. I'm my own man and I am just asking for you to give me that chance to prove that to you. Samantha's love has changed me… utterly and all I want to do is strive to be worthy of that amazing woman's love."

Roman nodded slowly, accepting EJ's words at face value.

"I appreciate you saying this to me EJ," he conceded, "But you'll understand if I reserve judgement for a little while I'm sure."

"Of course," said EJ with a crooked smile, "I wouldn't expect anything less Roman, Samantha doesn't deserve anything less."

"So we'd better get those bottles of wine upstairs," said Roman, looking at his watch, "There is barely twenty minutes until the ceremony and I want to make sure I'm there in plenty of time to walk Sami down the aisle."

"Agreed," said EJ with a nod, "The last thing I want to do is give Samantha any cause for concern… Roman NO!"

The last part was shouted as Roman let go of the door and stepped into the small space to start helping with carrying the wine out. The door swung shut behind them with an ominous click.

"You can't open the door from the inside!" said EJ, a touch of desperation in his voice now.

"What do you mean?" frowned Roman and pressed on the door seeing as he couldn't find a handle of any kind but the door didn't budge.

"The door is spring loaded so it shuts automatically to protect the wine inside," said EJ, feeling himself starting to become very anxious, "The only way it will open is from the outside now."

Roman stopped and looked up at EJ as they were wedged in the tight space together.

"I see," he said eventually, "So that means…"

"We're stuck in here until someone comes and lets us out," said EJ gloomily, closing his eyes and resting it back against the wall and making a despondent sound, "Bloody hell!"

"Cell phones!" said Roman triumphantly, suddenly remembering as he went for his.

"No signal down here," said EJ stoically but nonetheless Roman gave it a try only to find out that EJ was right.

"I guess we're going to have to resort to the old fashion way," said Roman, not giving up before beginning shouting, "HELP... HELP… DOWN HERE… WE'RE DOWN HERE!"

"Roman," said EJ with a shake of his head, "No one is going to hear us all the way down here!"

"Do you have a better plan?" asked Roman flatly.

EJ looked back at Roman, thinking for a minute before replying.

"HELLO!" EJ shouted, "ANYBODY - A SMALL SITUATION HAS ARISEN REQUIRING SOME HELP HERE!!"

Roman joined in but after a lot of shouting they were no closer to getting out and time was ticking by.

"I don't believe this!" groaned EJ, looking at his watch, "There is barely ten minutes until the ceremony is meant to start and we're stuck down here!"

"Well it's not going to start without either one of us," pointed out Roman reasonably, "They have to wait for you at least EJ!"

"But I didn't want to give Samantha any reason for pause about today," said EJ despondently, "I wanted her to have this one perfect day."

"And it will be," said Roman, trying to be helpful, "Just a slightly delayed perfect day, that's all."

EJ looked at Roman then and gave a rueful smile.

"Thank you for that," said EJ, realising that Roman didn't have to offer him any comfort if he didn't want to, "I appreciate you saying that Roman."

"You may not have been my first choice EJ," shrugged Roman, "But it doesn't mean that I wish you ill and particularly not today."

"I feel like we should hug or something," said EJ with a quirk of his lips.

"I would advise against it," dead panned Roman, "My personal space is being well and truly violated at the moment as it is, I don't really need you any closer than you already are EJ."

"Fair enough," said EJ ruefully.

"_So are you two just having a moment in there or what?"_

"Uncle John!" exclaimed EJ excitedly at hearing john's voice just outside the door, "You found us!"

"Guess so," nodded John even though they couldn't see it.

"Quickly, you have to get us out," said EJ urgently, "The wedding is about to start."

"_Did you find them?"_

"Tony!" called out Roman as they heard the other man join them, "We're in here - you have to get us out!"

"Is EJ in there too?" asked Tony in surprise as he came to stand in front of the door with John.

"Yes," called back EJ.

"What are you two doing in there?" asked Tony in consternation.

"They're having a moment," John informed him knowingly.

"Well that's great but don't you have a prior engagement that you should really be getting along too little brother?" asked Tony wryly, "And you too Roman."

EJ and Roman exchanged exasperated looks at that.

"And we'd love to be doing just that Tony," said EJ flatly, "But first you need to open the door for us!"

"Ah," said Tony, "I see."

He went to open the door but found it locked.

"Where's the key?" he asked calmly.

EJ blanched, suddenly realising. He put his hand in his pocket and withdrew the key to the door, holding it up for both he and Roman to look at.

"It's in my hand," said EJ hopelessly.

"Ah," grimaced Tony, "That's somewhat unhelpful."

"You know what this situation needs?" asked John suddenly.

"What Uncle?" came EJ's muffled voice.

"An axe," said John with great certainty, "I'll be right back."

"NO!"

EJ and Roman cried the word as one.

"What's the problem?" sniffed John, "Just step back."

"We can't John," said Roman quickly, "It's a tiny room, as it is we both practically have our noses to the door and we are as far back as we can get."

"No problem," said John casually, "Just keep talking so I know where your faces are and I'll chop around them."

"NO AXE UNCLE!" said EJ loudly, brooking no further discussion on the subject.

"We need a locksmith," decided Tony.

"We don't have time for a locksmith Tony!" said EJ in agitation as the minutes ticked relentlessly by.

"An axe would be quick," observed John, still not letting go of his idea.

"For the last time Uncle…" began EJ in exasperation.

"Hey what's with the party going on down here, did you find them?"

"Yeah," said John casually, "My nephew and his father in law are in the closet together."

"That isn't how it sounds," called out EJ to the newcomer.

"I figured," grinned RomanTwo, "So sorry, is there some reason why you're not coming out? You don't have cold feet do you EJ?"

"No!" said EJ emphatically, "My feet are most definitely not cold, in fact they are very eager to get to the ceremony!"

RomanTwo looked at John and Tony for some help with what was happening then.

"They're locked in," Tony informed him helpfully, "EJ's got the key with him on the other side."

"Oh," laughed RomanTwo, "Well that's about as useful as tits on a bull mate."

"I'm aware of that thank you RomanTwo," said EJ wryly, "Meanwhile, none of this is helping get us out of here!"

"You know a couple of quick chops with…" interjected John, not understanding why everyone was being so unreasonable about his idea.

"John NO!" chimed in Roman now, "No axes!"

"Look I left my tools here from yesterday," volunteered RomanTwo, "I can go get them and have this hinge off the door quicker than a rat up a drainpipe."

"YES!" said EJ excitedly, "Yes RomanTwo, please, do that!"

"I'll be right back," said RomanTwo, heading back up the stairs quickly.

"And in the meantime you keep your distance George Washington!" said EJ determinedly to John.

"You don't like any of my ideas," pouted John, sulking slightly.

"Not when it means that Roman and I are going to end up looking like extras on 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'!" agreed EJ grimly, "Call me crazy Uncle John but I was hoping for no bloodshed at this wedding!"

"It could have been worse," observed Roman stoically to EJ in a quiet aside, "He could have offered to bust us out with that tank of his."

"I've hidden the keys," said EJ quietly back to him, "That really isn't an option Roman."

"Good thinking," said Roman approvingly.

"Up here for thinking," said EJ, pointing to his head and then down to his feet, "Down there for dancing."

In record time RomanTwo was back and freeing them from their prison.

"Thank you!" exclaimed EJ with great relief when the door finally came off and he and Roman emerged from the little room.

"Thank me later mate," grinned RomanTwo, "You'd better shift yourself, by my estimation you've got about three minutes until the ceremony starts."

EJ sent a grateful look to everyone on the room and then promptly bolted from the room, taking the steps three at a time, racing to get to the marquee.

"And you had better go and collect your daughter," prompted Tony to Roman, "I believe your services are required in the giving away department."

"Thanks buddy," nodded Roman and then at RomanTwo as well, "I appreciate it."

Roman took off up the stairs then, rushing to get to Sami in time.

"Never a dull moment," said RomanTwo with a rueful shake of his head.

"But at least no one got hurt like at their last wedding," said Tony, looking on the upside.

"Day ain't over yet," observed John calmly.


	84. Chapter 84

**Chapter EIGHTY FOUR**

**Sami's Afternoon -**

**14:04pm…**

"Oh my goodness but you guys are soo cute!" exclaimed Sami.

Sami put her hands over her mouth and shook her head her Ali and Johnny as they stood there all dressed for the wedding.

"Oh Grandma, they look so wonderful!"

"I know," laughed Caroline, looking down at her great grandchildren adoringly, "Look how cute little Johnny's tuxedo is?!"

"I know!" said Sami, crouching down so she was on the same level as the twins and they toddled into her arms, "Look at you two!"

Johnny and Ali looked excited to be getting all the attention.

"Turn around honey's," grinned Sami, "Let Mommy have a look at you."

The twins obediently did enthusiastic pirouettes which resulted in both of them falling down making Caroline and Sami laugh out loud and the twins joined in.

"Oh Ali you look so pretty!" praised Sami, taking in her daughters little A-line white dress and the wreath of flowers in her hair.

"I'm rather amazed that she hasn't tried to take the wreath off," commented Caroline, "I thought for sure she wouldn't like it."

"Ali really likes hats," smiled Sami, "Don't you sweetie? She's always sticking things on her head for some reason."

"My great granddaughter has a strong sense of style already," said Caroline proudly,

"That she does," grinned Sami and then took Johnny's hand, "And look at you with your little bow tie on Johnny!"

"EJ dressed them both and you should have seen how adorable it was watching him tie that for Johnny," laughed Caroline.

"Did you take pictures?" asked Sami hopefully.

"Pictures and video," Caroline reassured her, "We've got it all there for you to see honey."

"Thank you for doing this for us Grandma," smiled Sami up at Caroline as she still was crouched beside the twins as they stood there on the floor, "I don't know how Ali and Johnny will go walking down the aisle though, they can be pretty easily distracted."

"Oh well," said Caroline reasonably, "We'll see how far we get and if they get stage fright or lose interest we'll just sit down, it won't be a problem Sami."

"And have there been any problems that I should know about downstairs?" asked Sami, looking at her grandmother a little anxiously.

"No dear," said Caroline calmly, "It's all going perfectly to plan. The only hiccup I saw was Rolf making a bit of a to do about the fact that someone had been in his cupboard and the castor oil was missing."

"Rolf and his cupboard," said Sami with a roll of her eyes.

**oooOOOOooo**

**14:15pm…**

Sami was just putting her earrings in as her mother knock quietly and walked in.

"Hi Mom," smiled Sami, turning around to face her.

"Oh Sami," said Marlena, looking at her daughter a little misty eyed, "You look gorgeous!"

"Really?" asked Sami, looking down at herself in her wedding dress.

The dress had a V-shaped neck, gathered in at the waist and then went onto flow out over her hips in several layers of satin. Sami hadn't opted for any other jewellery other than a single strand pearl necklace and little matching earrings.

"Oh sweetie you're simply breath taking," her mother reassured her, "No one will be able to keep their eyes off you!"

Sami smiled at that and then felt a sudden flush of nerves.

"Mom…?" she began but Marlena interrupted.

"Everything is going perfectly Sami," she informed her daughter patiently, "There is no need to worry about a thing."

"Right… thanks Mom," said Sami a little sheepishly at her continuing unease.

A sharp knock at the door signalled yet another visitor for Sami.

"_It's me."_

"Come in John," said Sami, smiling at her step father as he walked in.

John closed the door behind him and looked Sami up and down, his face typically expressionless.

"Do I pass muster?" asked Sami with a little smile.

"I wouldn't," said John with a shake of his head.

"What?" asked Sami in confusion.

"Pass mustard in that dress," said John, looking at the volumes of white material, "You'll drop it and leave a mark for sure."

"Sami was asking how you thought she looked John," explained Marlena in exasperation.

"Like an avalanche," John informed her calmly.

"John!" squawked Sami with a frown, "Do you mind!"

"What?" asked John, "Avalanches are a force of nature, blinding in their natural beauty and you can't take your eyes off them."

"Oh," said Sami, slightly mollified by his explanation.

"Plus I'm guessing you're going to be the death of my nephew tonight so it all kind of fits," continued on John stoically.

"Alright thank you John," said Marlena with a shake of her head at John's typical bluntness.

"I have something for you," John announced and withdrew a little white box from his coat pocket and handed it to Sami.

"Oh John!" exclaimed Sami in delight, "You shouldn't have."

"I didn't," said John flatly, "It's from the soon to be avalanche victim."

Marlena gave him a little hit on the shoulder for that but Sami was more interested in her present from EJ to care really. She opened the little box tied up with a silver ribbon and gave a little gasp of delight.

"Oh look!" she said, her face lighting up, "It's my charm bracelet EJ gave me for my birthday!"

"Can you do that?" asked John with interest, "Just recycle gifts?"

"He's added a charm to it John," said Sami in exasperation.

Sami took the charm bracelet out of the box and looked for the latest charm. The new addition was a charm with a love heart on it and today's date on it with their initials.

"Oh," said Sami, tears welling up in her eyes, "It's perfect! Mom - can you help me put it on please?"

"Of course honey," said Marlena, going to help Sami put the charm bracelet so she could wear it down the aisle.

"Sappy," announced John to anyone who would listen.

"You gave me a charm bracelet once John," said Marlena, looking back at him with great affection, "It was something thoughtful and sweet that was typical of the old John."

"Apparently the old John was also a woman," commented John with an arched eyebrow.

"You don't really get sentimentality do you John?" asked Sami with a quirk of her lips.

"I'm sentimental," protested John, "I cried in that movie you made me watch Blondie - "An Affair To Remember"."

"They were tears of boredom if I remember correctly," said Marlena dourly.

"Still counts," said John blithely.

"John can you tell EJ I simply adore the present he got me and give him this for me please?" asked Sami, going over and handing another little jewellery box to him.

"When did I become a courier service?" complained John with a pout and then gave in when he saw how Sami and Marlena were looking at him, "Fine but don't you want to see what I got you first wild cat?"

"You said you didn't get me anything John," said Sami in surprise.

"No," said John with a shake of his head, "I said I didn't get you that…"

He nodded his head at the bracelet.

"But I bought you something to commemorate your day as well," said John, looking pleased with himself.

"You mean with a plaque or something?" asked Sami hopefully.

"No," said John, looking at her a bit askew.

"It's alive isn't it?" asked Sami in resignation, looking over at her mother who just shrugged back at her behind John, not knowing anything about this.

"Very," nodded John happily.

"Right," said Sami with a heavy sigh, "What is it John?"

"You sound nervous," said John in confusion, "Why - you loved the last live thing I gave you."

"That's true," said Sami with a quirk of her lips, "I do love Roger - so what have you gotten for me this time seeing as I can cross flamingos and helper monkey off my wish list John?"

"I could see you were going with a white theme for your wedding," began John, looking her up and down.

"Oh no don't tell me you got me a polar bear?!" exclaimed Sami, genuinely in fear for her life and the life of her guests now.

"No," said John with an arched eyebrow.

"Thank goodness good sense prevailed," said Marlena with a heartfelt sigh.

"Couldn't get a permit for one," said John straight faced.

Sami rolled her eyes at that.

"Alright then John," she said, looking at him expectantly, "So what did I end up getting for a white wedding present?"

Sami was wracking her brain but coming up short on white animals - a bunny rabbit didn't seem like John's style somehow.

"Out on the balcony," said John.

"But EJ…" protested Sami and John shook his head.

"He's not upstairs, trust me wild cat, he's not going to see you," John reassured her.

Sami pursed her lips and looked at her mother who shrugged and followed John out the door and trailed behind, peeking cautiously out to make sure the coast was clear. The three of them stood on the balcony and looked out but Sami didn't see any animals, white or any other colour for that matter.

"OKAY ROLF - RELEASE THE WEDDING GIFT!" called out John loudly.

Sami tensed, waiting for what would appear around the corner of the house and then gave a gasp of surprised awe when she saw what it was that John had gotten for her. An albino peacock strutted around into the garden and then, as though knowing it was on show, lifted up its tail feathers and displayed itself in all its luminous glory.

"Wow!" exclaimed Sami, taken aback.

"Oh John!" Marlena echoed Sami's disbelief, "That is simply amazing - an albino peacock - they are so rare!"

"Harold was hard to come by," agreed John, nodding his head.

"Ah… Harold?" repeated Sami with a quirk of her lips.

"I took the liberty of naming him," said John expressionlessly, "And seeing as tomorrow is Christmas day and when he spreads out his tail like that he looks like an angel I thought it was only logical to call him Harold."

Sami and Marlena looked at each other in confusion.

"I'm sorry John," said Marlena with a shake of her head, "How does that work exactly? I'm not seeing the connection."

"I named him for that Christmas carol," said John, looking at her like she was a little dense.

Both Sami and Marlena shook their heads at him, still not understanding what he was getting at.

"You know," said John in exasperation, "Hark, Harold the Angel sings… that one."

With that as though on cue again Harold gave an almighty squawk and John nodded approvingly.

"See," he said, "He's singing along."

Sami and Marlena exchanged looks again.

"Close enough," shrugged Sami and then gave a rueful smile at John, "Thank you for Harold John - he's very beautiful and definitely fits in with the theme of weddings and Christmas."

"You're welcome," said John happily and wander off.

"Six flamingos, a capuchin monkey and now an albino peacock," Sami did a stock take with a resigned sigh, "EJ and I are _never_ going to be able to move out of the mansion."


	85. Chapter 85

**Chapter EIGHTY FIVE**

**THE WEDDING CEREMONY BEGINS…**

Sami smoothed down her dress, looking at herself in the mirror.

"You look stunning sweetie," her mother reassured her, coming to stand behind her at the mirror.

"Thanks Mom," she said and then gave a rueful smile, "I guess we've been here a few times before."

"But I've never seen you look happier or more in love," said Marlena warmly, giving her a hug.

"I never have been," said Sami with a happy sigh.

"I'm so glad Sami," said Marlena and gave her another hug.

"Have you seen Dad?" Sami asked with a little frown before looking up at the clock on the wall, "There is only five minutes until the ceremony, and he should be here by now."

"He's around honey," Marlena comforted her, "Don't worry. You don't have far to go to get to the church after all. I've sent Anna to go and fetch him - I'm sure he'll be here any moment."

"I guess," smiled Sami, "It's just that everything has been going so smoothly so far I just can't believe it - not a single calamity has occurred yet. How can that be?"

"I think you're just about due for a calamity free wedding Sami," said Marlena with a little laugh.

"I'm due for about seven of them," said Sami flatly to which her mother only laughed again.

"I'm here, I'm here!" Roman suddenly burst into the room, red faced and puffing a bit.

"Are you alright Dad?" asked Sami with a frown, taking in the state of him.

"I'm fine honey," said Roman brightly, as he tried to catch his breath, "My watch is a little slow and I didn't realise the time - that's all."

"And everything is alright downstairs?" asked Sami for what was probably the hundredth time that day.

"Absolutely," nodded Roman and then finally took a proper look at Sami and a look of great love came over him, "Oh honey, you look beautiful."

"Thank you Dad," said Sami with a trembling smile.

"I'm going to go down and tell them you're on your way," said Marlena with a soft smile and kissed Sami on the way out and put a gentle hand on Roman's arm, "I'll see you both down there."

"Sure thing Doc," nodded Roman and then looked back at Sami as Marlena closed the door behind her.

"So you ready to do this honey?" asked Roman with a little quirk of his lips.

"So ready Dad," said Sami with an emphatic nod, "My stomach has been tied up in knots all day and I'm about to start vomiting butterflies!"

"Wow that's lovely, you should write poetry sweetie," said Roman, tongue in cheek and Sami giggled, feeling her tensions ease a little with her father's gentle teasing.

"I'm so glad you're here to give me away Dad," said Sami softly, "It means the world to EJ and I. I know you have some reservations about he and I…"

"We don't have to talk about that now honey," Roman interrupted her with a shake of his head.

"Dad," said Sami, not giving up and putting a hand on his arm as she looked him in the eye, "I love EJ and I know we've both made a lot of mistakes in the past but for the first time I feel like I'm with a man who accepts me completely for who I am rather then hoping for me to change into someone else given enough time. I really feel like EJ loves me not in spite of all my flaws but because of them and I can't tell you how liberating that feeling is Dad. It's like I've been sitting in the dark for all these years and he's just come along and turned the light on and now where ever I look I see only sunshine and brightness… and my life with EJ and the twins."

Roman gave a sad little smile at that and Sami made a distressed sound.

"Dad what is it?" she asked, stepping closer to him and giving him a concerned look as she put her hands on his arms, "Have I said something wrong?"

"No," smiled Roman but still looked a little sad, "It's just that it is hard for a father to hear that his little girl loves another man so much. For the longest time I was the only man in your heart and it's a painful thing to see her love another. I'm very happy that you're happy sweetie but it's a bittersweet thing - you'll understand one day when Johnny brings home the girl he wants to marry."

"You're not going to lose me Dad," said Sami, her eyes starting to tear up again, "I love you."

"And I love you," said Roman simply, "More than I think you'll ever know Sami."

Roman pulled her into a hug then and Sami went willingly.

"You'll always be my daddy," said Sami, raw emotion brimming in her voice as she hugged him tightly, "That will never change."

"No it won't honey," agreed Roman, holding onto her just as tightly, "No it won't."

**oooOOOOooo**

"Well you made it in the nick of time I see," smiled Father Thompson with an indulgent smile at EJ as he hurried up the aisle and stood at the front with the priest, John bringing up the rear.

"He was in a closet with his father in law playing touchy feely," offered up John helpfully, "We couldn't get them out."

"It was a wine cellar and we were locked in," EJ clarified quickly to the priest, "But fortunately one of the guests saved the day by being handy with a tool kit."

"I could have been handy with my axe," said John, still put out that _he_ hadn't been allowed to save the day.

"If you'd used an axe on us in that little space then Father Thompson here would be performing a joint funeral rather than a wedding Uncle John," said EJ flatly.

"You worry too much," said John expressionlessly.

"Hence the fact that I'm not dead yet," returned EJ mockingly.

"If you're not nicer to me I won't give you the gift the wild cat gave for me to give you," John warned him straight faced.

"Samantha gave you something for me?" asked EJ in delight, "Why didn't you give it to me earlier Uncle?"

"Because you and Roman were having some alone time together," said John with a shrug.

EJ rolled his eyes and let it go.

"So may I have it now?" asked EJ in exasperation.

"Sure," shrugged John and handed him the little jewellery case.

"Did Samantha like my gift?" asked EJ with a smile, accepting it.

"She cried," offered up John, "Who knows what that means but I think she liked mine better."

"What did you get her?" asked EJ with great trepidation as this being news to him.

He hated it when John got one in under the radar on him - that's how they ended up with tanks in their back garden!

"Harold," said John happily.

"Oh no," groaned EJ, "And who, or more likely _what_, is Harold?"

"An albino peacock," John informed him.

"_Another_ bird Uncle John?!" said EJ in despair.

"Hey, at least my gift didn't make her cry!" sniffed John.

EJ shook his head and opened his gift instead. Inside the jewellers box John had given him from Sami were a set of gold cufflinks in the shape of the number three. There was a note with it - "Third times the charm, Samantha XXX". EJ grinned and immediately went to put them on, dispensing with the cufflinks he already had on.

"I don't get it," said John with a bit of a frown.

"It's a private joke Uncle John," smiled EJ, "Between Samantha and I."

"Oh, you mean like which came first the chicken or the egg?" mused John.

EJ looked back at him and decided now was not the time to go into it.

"Yes Uncle," he nodded in amusement, "Exactly like that. Now did you get the rings from Eric?"

"Yup," nodded John, patting his coat pocket.

Marlena hurried up to them then and joined them at the front of the church.

"Is everything alright?" asked EJ, feeling his nerves start to tighten.

"Sami and Roman are on their way down now," Marlena reassured him, "Everything is fine EJ."

"Right," said EJ with a deep breath, looking back to the entrance of the marquee, "This is it then."

**oooOOOOooo**

"Stop fidgeting and stop looking to see if anyone is passed out yet!" exclaimed Eric in agitation to Joseph, "You told me that the drug should only take effect after the wedding ceremony."

Joseph turned back to him on the front pew as they waited for the ceremony to start. Beside him was Eric and beside Eric was Emily with Roger, quietly occupying himself with looking around and playing with a feather he had found from outside. He was wearing a little bow tie and vest and despite John's horror and saying it demeaned him, Roger seemed to quite like it and didn't try and take it off at all which he could have quite easily.

"Theoretically," nodded Joseph with a vague wave of his hand and then went back to looking at the other wedding guests behind them, "Is Kayla yawning?"

Eric looked to see his aunt with her mouth open but then she suddenly sneezed.

"Oh, false alarm," said Joseph with a sigh of relief.

"Joe what is that about the theoretically thing that you just said?" asked Eric anxiously, looking at Joseph rather accusingly.

"It's not an exact science Boo!" said Joseph with a helpless shrug.

"What do you mean?" asked Eric in horror, "You said you knew what you were doing."

"There's a lot of things to consider dear," said Emily casually, joining in from where she was sitting beside Eric, "How big was the dosage, did the person drink all the drink, how large or small was the person, have they eaten much today or drunk any alcohol, perhaps they are more sensitive or immune to drugs then regular people, how much activity that person has engaged in since taking the drug…"

Emily trailed off to see Eric and Tracy looking at her both agog with the detail she was going into.

"What?" she shrugged unapologetically, "So I've drugged the occasional person before? It's not like it is illegal."

"I'm pretty sure it is Em," said Eric wryly.

"That's only if they catch you dear boy," said Emily with a smug smile, "If you're good enough no one will ever know what happened. You should have come to me before deciding to put what we shall loosely refer to as a plan into action."

"Well next time we need to roofie someone we'll know who to call," said Eric flatly, "But right now, unless what appears to be your extensive expertise can help us work out who has actually taken the drug then none of this is helping Em!"

"Maybe it will be one of the caterers," suggested Joseph, clinging to that hope blindly.

"Or even better that particular drink didn't even get drunk," Eric put in his own best case scenario.

"Oh let's face reality here boys," said Emily blithely, settling back into the pew, "You're both screwed. This little game of accidental Russian Roulette that you set in motion can only end one way and you know what that means don't you…?"

"Yes," sighed Eric heavily, leaning back in the pew dejectedly, "Hola senor… no hablo español!"

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami and Roman stood in the living room, waiting for the music to cue so they could walk into the marquee and down the aisle. The twins had their baskets of rose petals and the plan was that they were going to walk down the aisle first and scatter rose petals as they went with Great Grandma Caroline overseeing them as they walked down the aisle.

"Johnny no," said Sami firmly, removing yet more rose petals from Johnny's mouth, "Honestly, sometimes I could kill John!"

"John?" asked Roman in confusion as he fished out the masticated petal from his grandson's mouth.

"Oh I caught him eating a handful of these petals before and the twins saw him and everything their Great does they think they should do the same thing!" said Sami in exasperation.

"Is John still doing that?" asked Roman in surprise as he attempted to remove the last soggy petal from Johnny's mouth but the toddler wasn't making it easy.

Roman decided to attack the problem from another angle, starting to tickle Johnny's ribs.

He squealed in laughter and Roman quickly extricated the rose petal from the slobbery jaws of death.

"PA!" cried out Ali, throwing herself at Roman and demanding the same treatment which her brother had received and Roman happily obliged, delighting in making his grandchildren laugh.

"It's so cute how they both call you Pa," laughed Sami, watching the carry on.

"Isn't it?" agreed Caroline, watching her family with great pleasure.

It somehow suited Roman to a tee with the slight drawl he had to his speech and there were many times that Sami herself had thought of her father as an old western type sheriff and Pa just seemed to fit that perfectly. The music began to swell then and it was time for the ceremony to start.

"Alright you two," said Sami, crouching down and addressing the twins together, "Now you be a good boy and girl and walk down to Daddy like we practiced yesterday alright - just do what Grandma tells you okay?"

The twins nodded emphatically and Sami quickly kissed them both and mouthed good luck to Caroline as she began to usher them into the marquee. Sami and Roman moved so they could watch their progress through one of the cracks in the marquee. The twins stood at the top of the aisle and looked back wide eyed as everyone in the church turned around to look at them with huge smiles on their faces. Ali looked back at them and gave a happy wave and her brother followed her cue making everyone giggle and wave back at them. That seemed to make the twins feel at ease then as they began to toddle down the aisle at their grandmother's gentle prompting.

"Throw out the rose petals darlings," she reminded them softly as they walked along slowly.

EJ took a deep breath, his heart swelling painfully in his chest as he looked at his babies walking down the aisle towards him. A love he'd never known existed before he had children swamped him and he felt his eyes prick with tears at seeing the adorable sight of his children tottering down towards him, all dressed up and obviously having a ball. Ali had decided that she couldn't be bothered with this slow scattering of the petals and promptly upended her basket, dumping all her rose petals at once on the floor and then finding a better use for her basket as a makeshift hat.

"Oh that really doesn't go with those shoes," noted Joseph, ever shoe conscious, "But how cute is that?!"

Eric laughed to see his nieces' carry on as did everyone else in the church. Johnny on the other hand was being much more frugal with his rose petals and was handing them out, one by one to the people on the end of the cue. He was working very industriously at it and the laughter in the church continued to see him hard at work. The twins delighted in being the centre of attention and Ali joined in with handing out the petals but she grabbed great fistfuls of them unlike her more restrained brother who was still doing it a petal at a time. With Ali's help Johnny's petals were all gone very quickly and they were about to turn around and go and retrieve some more from the pile Ali had dumped but EJ stopped them.

"Ali… Johnny," he called out and went down on one knee and held his arms open wide to them.

Both of the children gave little squeals of delight, not having seen their father before now and they both ran as fast as they could towards EJ, almost falling down a couple of times in their haste to get to him. When they got to EJ he encompassed them both in a big bear hug, making the children giggle in delight and the entire church just burst into applause at the tender sight.

"Alright my little monkeys," grinned EJ, kissing them both after taking off Ali's new hat for her, "You did very well now off you go and sit down with Dunk and Aunty Joseph please."

Eric stood up and took the twins hands, settling them in between himself and Joseph back on the front pew. The music swelled again and the bridal march began and EJ straightened up, his eyes riveted on the other end of the aisle, waiting for Samantha to appear. He felt his hands begin to sweat and he nervously wiped them on his trouser pants. He knew it was silly to be this nervous because this was only a vow renewal and he and Samantha were already married after all but as his memories of their last wedding could only be called hazy at best this felt like the real thing to him.

Sami tightened her grip on her father's arm and they smiled at each other.

"Ready sweetie?" he asked her softly and Sami nodded, already feeling too emotional to speak.

Roman began to walk them through the walk way so that they were now standing at the top of the aisle. Everyone turned to look at them, happy smiles on everyone's faces as they looked back at the radiant bride.

"Oh god she's so beautiful," whispered EJ weakly, wondering how it was that just the mere sight of this woman made him want to fall in a heap at her feet.

Sami and EJ's gazes met and she felt herself almost stumble, momentarily forgetting how to walk when she looked at him. He looked so unbearably handsome standing there and he had such an adoring look on his face as she and Roman drew closer that Sami found she couldn't breathe all of a sudden. Her heart hammered painfully in her chest and the blood raced in her veins.

EJ smiled at her then, his dark eyes lighting up and making Sami feel warm all over. She held his gaze, unable to look away as they drew closer, completely oblivious to anyone else, only seeing him. Sami's mouth went dry as she looked at him and her head began to spin, hardly able to believe that their wedding day as it always should have been was finally here.

"Sami?" her father's voice came to her softly and she tore her eyes from EJ to look at his concerned face, "You're shaking, are you alright?"

"Yes," said Sami faintly, suddenly unable to focus properly, "I'm fine Dad."

"SAMANTHA!"

Sami didn't even hear EJ call out her name urgently as she suddenly crumpled to the ground. Her anxious family immediately all crowding around her as she lay cradled in her father's arms. She didn't see the terror in EJ's eyes as he got to her and scooped her up in his arms or the general chaos that ensued.

All Sami knew was the blissful darkness of unconsciousness.


	86. Chapter 86

**Chapter EIGHTY SIX**

"I'll just go and tell everyone to stay where they are and we'll have some news for them soon," offered Abe helpfully.

"Thanks pardner," nodded Roman, "We'd appreciate that."

Abe nodded and headed back down the stairs, leaving them to it.

"EJ calm down," said Marlena, watching her son in law pace frantically up and down the hallway in front of his and Samantha's bedroom and trying to reassure him, "I'm sure Sami is going to be fine, stop panicking."

"I knew something was wrong!" EJ berated himself under his breath, not even seeming to have noticed that Marlena had spoken, "She hasn't been well and all this stress of organising this wedding by herself… what was I thinking?! I should have just insisted that we postpone it again until Samantha was completely recovered from her surgery!"

"You couldn't have stopped the wildcat even if you wanted to," said John reasonably, keeping vigil with him as was his usual practice, "She was having this wedding with our without you - the woman's a force of nature."

"Everyone thinks that Samantha is indomitable but she's not!" exclaimed EJ anxiously, "I knew something hasn't been right these last weeks but I didn't do anything about it!"

"That's not true EJ," said Marlena with a shake of her head, "You made Sami go and see Lexie."

"And what good has that done?!" asked EJ despairingly, "Samantha has just collapsed!"

"And Lexie is in with her now," said Marlena, putting a hand on his shoulder and making him stop in his wild pacing, "Please EJ, this is doing no one any good."

EJ looked away and drew in a shaky breath, trying to calm himself down. He knew Marlena was right but that didn't help him feel any less desperate about this situation. He couldn't help but blame himself for letting this happen. Why hadn't he put his foot down and simply said that if the wedding was to go ahead then Sami was to let him help? EJ was riddled with guilt and an overriding feeling of desolation that this was something very serious. His stomach churned painfully at the thought as he looked at the door Sami and Lexie were behind.

"What is taking so long?" asked EJ with great anguish.

**oooOOOOooo**

"Okay," said Joseph anxiously whilst giving a big smile for Johnny and Ali's benefit and building the blocks that they'd gotten out from their play chest into a stack for them to knock over, "Tell me again how this can't possibly be due to our little miscalculation Boo?"

The two of them were sitting in the living room waiting for word on Sami whilst distracting the twins by playing with them. The rest of the people were in the church, waiting for news of Sami's condition.

"The punch that we put the drug in had pineapple in it," said Eric firmly, "Sami hates pineapple with the fire of ten thousand suns, there is no way that she would even take a sip of that drink. She can smell it a mile off - in fact you can't even say the word pineapple around her without her pitching a fit - that's how much she hates it. It doesn't matter how distracted she was today there is no way she would have had any of that punch. There is no doubt in my mind about that!"

"Right," said Joseph, slightly mollified but still sounding anxious, "And I suppose the fact that she was coming round a bit when EJ carried her out probably rules out this was due to us as well. Oh my poor little blonde kitten - I wonder what's wrong with her?!"

"I know," said Eric worriedly, looking up at the floor above them where he knew Sami was, "Whilst I'm very happy to know that I didn't drug my own sister on her wedding day at least we'd know what was wrong with her now if we had."

Eric made an unhappy face, the concerns over Sami's sudden weight loss weighing heavily on his mind in light of these new events.

**oooOOOOooo**

"We should have just gone straight to the hospital!" fretted EJ, unable to stop himself from resuming his pacing, "This is taking too long!"

"I'm sure Lexie is just being thorough," Marlena tried to reassure him again although she had to admit to a certain amount of worry on her part for her daughter as well.

"Well you could be even more thorough in a hospital," point out EJ tightly.

John opened his mouth but EJ held up an imperious hand to him before he could speak.

"Please Uncle," said EJ tersely, "Now is _not_ a good time for you to attempt to comfort me - seriously, I don't think I could take it!"

If John was offended by that comment no one would even know because just then Lexie emerged from the bedroom.

"Lexie!" exclaimed EJ, practically jumping on her, "How is she? Do we need to go to the hospital? Is she awake?!"

"Hold on EJ," said Lexie, putting her hands up and trying to get a word in, "Calm down, one question at a time."

"Lexie?" asked Roman, his brow creasing with worry.

"Sami's awake and no, we don't need to go to the hospital," said Lexie calmly, "She just fainted."

"Fainted?" repeated EJ nervously, "Why? What happened Lexie - healthy people don't faint just like that?!"

"Lexie do we need to tell everyone to go home?" asked Marlena with concern, "It sounds like Sami isn't up to having a wedding today."

"You're right Marlena," said EJ firmly, "Could you please let everyone know and…"

"I think you should talk to Sami about that," said Lexie, interrupting EJ's plans with a little frown, "She wants to see you EJ and I think you should talk to her before calling off this wedding otherwise I'm going to have another patient to care for today."

"She can't possibly think she can continue on with today?" asked EJ in disbelief, "Lexie - come on - back me up here. She should be in bed right, getting some rest. Samantha's health comes before anything else!"

"I think you need to talk to Sami and the two of you can make a decision from there," said Lexie firmly, "Now go on in little brother, she's waiting to see you."

EJ nodded, knowing that there was more to this then what Lexie was telling him, he could see it in his sister's eyes, the way she wouldn't quite hold his gaze. Without another word he moved past Lexie and headed into the bedroom. He'd expected to find Sami on the bed but the room was actually empty and he frowned as he looked around. EJ walked more into the room just as Sami emerged from the bathroom and she gave him a weak smile.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hi," he croaked, his throat closing over with so much emotion at seeing her.

"So," said Sami ruefully, walking up to him, "Do I know how to make an entrance or what huh?"

"Samantha," said EJ urgently, closing the last distance between them and cupping her face in his hands and dropping his forehead to hers, "Oh god sweetheart are you alright, I've been going crazy with worry!"

"I know," she said, biting her lip, her hands coming up to cover his as they still cupped her face, "I'm sorry EJ, I didn't mean to frighten you."

"You terrified me sweetheart," EJ corrected her shakily, "Seeing you just fall to the ground like that… I thought I was going to have a heart attack!"

"The twins?" frowned Sami, pulling back and looking up at EJ worriedly.

"Are with Eric and Joseph and are as happy as Larry," EJ reassured her hastily, "You're the only one we have to worry about right now Samantha. I'm going to tell everyone to go home and then we are going to go to the hospital to get you checked our properly and if they let you come home then you're going to go back to bed and rest until…"

"I'm pregnant."

Sami's announcement interrupted EJ's scheduling for her for what looked like being well into the new year. Sami held his stunned gaze steadily, the moment feeling decidedly surreal to her as the words left her own mouth.

"Wh… what?" stammered EJ.

"Pregnant," reiterated Sami, hoping her saying it again would make it a little more real for her as well as EJ, "I'm pregnant. Lexie just did a test on me and I'm pregnant."

"But… but how?" asked EJ weakly to which Sami arched an eyebrow at and he clarified, "I mean… you're on the pill."

"Turns out that if you're taking antibiotics it can make the pill ineffective," Sami informed him ruefully, "Kind of wish now I'd paid more attention to the details when they released me from hospital."

"The hotel?" supplied EJ, slowly piecing it together.

"Yup," nodded Sami stoically, "The hotel."

"You're pregnant?" repeated EJ slowly, sounding absolutely stunned, "You're going to have a baby?"

"That is my understanding of the process," nodded Sami wryly, still trying to get a bead on how EJ was feeling about this.

"You're going to have _my_ baby," said EJ, the information slowly sinking in.

"HEY!" exclaimed Sami in annoyance at that last statement and smacking his arm, "Of course I'm going be having _your_ baby EJ, who else's do you think?!"

EJ didn't even notice her ire though and Sami felt her breath hitch in her throat at the absolute joy that was slowly spreading over EJ's face.

"You're having my baby Samantha!" he announced joyously and then suddenly swept her off her feet, swinging her around and around ecstatically, "You're having my baby!"

"EJ stop!" laughed Sami, "You're going to make me sick!"

EJ stopped instantly, moving quickly and picked her up in his arms,. He walked with her to the bed, sitting down on the edge of it and settled Sami in his lap.

"I'm sorry sweetheart," he said, an anxious frown on his face, "Did I hurt you? I didn't mean to be so rough but I was just so excited I couldn't contain myself!"

"You didn't hurt me EJ," she said with a rueful smile, "You just made me dizzy EJ."

"Samantha," he whispered her name, looking down at her adoringly, "We're going to have another child together."

"I know," said Sami, her voice a little strained.

"You're… you're happy about this right?" asked EJ hesitantly, calming down enough now to notice the slightly anxious look on Sami's face, "You want this child… don't you?"

"Oh EJ of course I do," Sami quickly reassured him, putting a hand up to cup his face, "It's just that it was so… so unexpected… so unplanned - I guess I'm still in shock."

"But happy shock right?" he pushed her tentatively, his own happiness written all over his face.

"We're going to have three children under two when this baby is born EJ," said Sami, looking a little stressed at that thought.

"Maybe not," said EJ cheerfully, "Your first pregnancy you had one child, your second one you had the twins so if you follow through with the pattern then this third pregnancy could be triplets! You know there is a lot of history of multiple births in our families - your mother and her twin, you and Eric, Ali and Johnny and of course, my mother was a triplet so really when you think about it anything is possible Samantha!"

EJ had been talking quickly, becoming enamoured of his theories but meanwhile Sami was looking decidedly less thrilled.

"Please tell my your kidding me EJ?!" said Sami giving him a distressed look, "Triplets?!"

"Would that be such a bad thing?" asked EJ with a hopeful little smile at her.

"Oh sure," she huffed, "You have all the fun getting them in there and it's up to me to get them back out which, let me tell you is _way_ less fun mister!"

"I'm going to get to see you give birth!" exclaimed EJ excitedly, "Oh how I wish I'd been there for Johnny and Ali's birth, Samantha, you have no idea! I'm going to get to all those things with you that I missed out on last time!"

"The swelling ankles, the running to the toilet constantly, the crazed mood swings, the…" Sami began to list off all the wonders of pregnancy for him.

"Yes!" he interrupted her in delight, "Every single second of it Samantha, I can't wait!"

"I'm going to remind you of that when I wake you up at three o'clock in the morning to go and get me sardines and waffles," said Sami wryly.

"Anything my gorgeous, blossoming wife wants my gorgeous, blossoming wife gets!" beamed EJ, his enthusiasm in no way dampened by her warnings.

"Okay," said Sami with a roll of her eyes, "Less of the blossoming comments, you make me sound like a cauliflower or something.!"

"So that's why you fainted?" asked EJ, his eyes suddenly growing concerned again, "From the pregnancy? You're sure nothing else is wrong Samantha?"

Sami hesitated for the briefest second but then decided against telling EJ about the anaemia. There would be plenty of time for that later and right now all she wanted to do was to share this happy moment with her husband without some dark cloud looming over them.

"I'm fine EJ," she said firmly, "But I'm late for my own wedding and I'd really like to be getting back to that some time soon."

"You sure you feel up to it sweetheart?" asked EJ solicitously.

"Hey!" said Sami teasingly, "You're not trying to get out of this now are you EJ?"

"I guess not," he said playfully, "I figure I have to marry you now that I've knocked you up!"

"You bet you do!" growled Sami, putting her arms around his neck, "You've got responsibilities Mr DiMera!"

"I love you Samantha," said EJ adoringly, hardly able to believe that all of his worries had been so quickly turned to joy at her news.

"I love you too EJ," she smiled up at him, "Always."

EJ ducked his head and kissed her then, his lips finding hers in a joyous expression of their love. He held her tightly in his arms, kissing her deeply until finally Sami broke away.

"EJ," she said breathlessly, looking up at him through her lashes cheekily, "You're making me dizzy again. Much more of that and I'll be forced to stay in bed after all."

EJ's eyes lit up at her teasing.

"Well in that case," grinned EJ, leaning down and beginning to kiss her hungrily now as Sami giggled.

**oooOOOOooo**

"Okay remember," said Sami quietly to EJ as they walked up the aisle together hand in hand to make an announcement to the church that she was okay, "We agreed, we don't tell anyone until my third trimester okay EJ?"

"Of course sweetheart," grinned EJ, "What ever you want I'm happy to go along with."

It had been touch and go there for a minute as the urge to celebrate their news with a little lovin' had almost become overwhelming but a knock on the door from Marlena had interrupted things before it had gotten too far. Sami had gone and freshened up her hair and make up whilst EJ had reassured her parents and John that she was alright and that the wedding was going ahead as planned.

"And stop grinning like a loon," she chastised him, trying not to smile herself, "You look like a crazy man!"

"I am crazy," said EJ, his smile in no way lessening, "Crazy in love with you Samantha."

"Cheesy," commented Sami but the look she gave him told EJ that she in no way minded.

They walked up the couple of steps to stand in the front of the church.

"Sorry for the hold up Father," said EJ quietly to the priest who was waiting for them, "I hope it is alright by you to continue."

"Of course my son," nodded the priest with a smile, "You're not the first bride to faint on her wedding day Sami, as long as you feel up to continuing."

"More than up for it Father," smiled Sami, looking at EJ, her eyes shining with love for him.

"We'll just say a few words to everyone and then we can start if that's alright Father?" asked EJ and the priest smiled and nodded, waving his hand and indicating they should do just that.

Sami and EJ turned, hand in hand and faced everyone's smiling but still concerned faces and smiled back at them all.

"Thank you everyone for being so patient," said EJ, addressing the congregation as a whole, "Samantha and I very much appreciate it."

"As you can see I'm fine," smiled Sami and felt EJ give her hand a squeeze at that, "I guess I shouldn't have skipped lunch and between that and this dress I guess it was inevitable that I was going to pass out. And hey, it can't be a Sami Brady wedding without some drama right?"

Everyone gave a little laugh at that and Sami laughed with them.

"So if it's alright with everyone we're going to go ahead with the ceremony," Sami continued on, "I know I speak for both EJ and myself when we say how much it means to us having you all here and we want to thank…"

"We're having a baby!" interrupted EJ suddenly, obviously unable to contain himself any longer, his face beaming as he announced their news to everyone there.

Sami looked up at him in exasperation and EJ shrugged ruefully around his face splitting smile.

"It came up in conversation sweetheart," he told her sheepishly and she couldn't be mad at him when he was obviously this excited about it.

The whole church gave a collective gasp and everyone burst out in applause, calling out their congratulations over the top of the thunderous clapping. Sami and EJ grinned back at them all as they stood there together under the archway.

"You're hopeless," she said with a little laugh to him as an aside while everyone continued in their applause.

"But you're going to marry me again anyway aren't you?" he asked her, eyes twinkling impishly.

"Yes," breathed Sami, looking up at him dreamily, "Always."

"In that case," beamed EJ, looking back at the crowd who had now calmed down a bit and asking them a question, "Who here wants to go to a wedding?!"


	87. Chapter 87

**Chapter EIGHTY SEVEN**

"Well," smiled Father Thompson to the congregation, "Shall we try that again?"

Everyone gave a little laugh and nodded as EJ and Sami turned to face the priest and Sami looked up at EJ, a big smile on her face as she realised that at long last the moment was finally here. Marlena smiled to see the way her daughter was looking at EJ and looked across to John who was standing on the other side EJ with a typically stoic expression on his face and couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking right then.

"I'm going to remember every second of this sweetheart," EJ promised her softly with a playful little wink at Sami and Sami's smile widened.

"You'd better," she whispered back teasingly.

"What's wrong now?" asked Eric of Joseph as he began to squirm in his seat again, sending furtive backwards glances to the pews behind them.

"Oh," said Joseph, looking stressed, "I'm so glad the kitten is alright and I'm thrilled that there is another little lolly kitten on the way but…"

"But?" prompted Eric under his breath as things began to get underway up the front.

"But it's put us about forty minutes behind in our schedule," fretted Joseph, looking decidedly anxious.

Eric frowned, his sister's good news and the relief at knowing she was alright making him temporarily forget about the direness of their situation and in particular how time sensitive it was.

"Ah," grimaced Eric, suddenly looking ill.

Joseph glanced down at his watch.

"Ohh I hope this priest isn't chatty," grimaced Joseph, "Because I really don't know how much longer we've got Boo."

Sami and EJ held hands and faced the priest as he started the ceremony at last.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered together here in the sight of God, and in the face of this congregation, to join together this Man and this Woman in holy Matrimony," began Father Thompson, his voice echoing out to the entire congregation confidently, "Which is an honourable estate, instituted of God in the time of man's innocence, signifying unto us the mystical union that is between Christ and his Church; which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence, and first miracle that he wrought, in Cana of Galilee; and is commended of Saint Paul to be honourable among all men:"

"I feel like I'm waiting for a bomb to go off," said Eric fatalistically, feeling himself beginning to sweat.

"It doesn't help that this one looks like a talker," lamented Joseph with a roll of his eyes.

"Therefore is not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly, to satisfy men's carnal lusts and appetites, as those with no understanding," continued on Father Thompson, oblivious to Eric and Joseph's time concerns, "But reverently, discreetly, advisedly, soberly, and in the fear of God; duly considering the causes for which Matrimony was ordained."

The priest looked out at everyone then and smiled, pausing for effect.

"But here I must diverge," he smiled to everyone.

"Oh no," groaned Joseph quietly, "He's going to milk this for all that it is worth! Just get on with it!"

"Now normally I would go onto say that if anyone one has just cause that this couple should not be lawfully joined together in marriage they are to speak now or forever hold their peace," said the Father, "But seeing as Elvis and Sandra here are already married I fear that it might be a little late for that."

EJ and Sami looked at each other at that last part as did the rest of the congregation.

"It's Samantha," corrected EJ quietly to the priest.

"Yes of course it is," frowned Father Thompson, "What's your point my son?"

"You called me Sandra," said Sami hesitantly.

"Sami I've known you for many years," laughed the priest easily, "I wouldn't do that - you're just nervous my dear."

He patted Sami's shoulder comfortingly and Sami gave a rueful shrug to EJ who just shook his head a little and smiled back at her.

"Now where was I?" asked Father Thompson, blinking rapidly and seeming to be having trouble with focusing all of a sudden.

"Ah… you're not going to do the normal ceremony?" prompted Sami, starting to look a little concerned by the priests seeming vagueness.

"Oh yes!" said the Father happily, "Of course. Now seeing as these two lovely young people are already married we are here today to witness their renewing of their cows and in so doing we join with them in the unity of their marriage."

"Uh oh," said Joseph, biting his lip and grimacing.

"Did he just say cows?" asked Eric in a quiet aside to Joseph, sitting up a little straighter in his seat as his concern began to grow.

"Maybe it's the acoustics?" offered up Joseph hopefully but it was quickly becoming apparent that it wasn't the case.

Father Johnson began to sway a little as he stood there and Sami and EJ exchanged concerned looks.

"Father?" said EJ quietly to him, "Are you alright?"

"No," said the priest, blinking at him blearily, "I'm not a kite my son, why do you ask?"

"EJ?" said Sami worriedly as she looked back between EJ and the now yawning priest, "What's going on?"

"I'm not sure," said EJ, dropping Sami's hand and turning to the priest.

"Father," he began, a little uncertainly, "You don't seem well, do you need to lie down or something?"

"What an excellent suggestion my son," said Father Thompson happily and then promptly fell forward in a dead sleep.

He would have fallen heavily on the ground if EJ hadn't have reacted so quickly and caught him mid plummet.

"Oh my god they are dropping like flies at this wedding," said Steve with a shake of his head.

"Lexie!" called out EJ urgently as he carefully lowered the now unconscious priest to the ground.

"I've had less busy nights when I worked in the ER!" muttered Lexie as she stood up and hurried down the aisle to where EJ had lain out Father Thompson.

"Ladies and gentleman we have a winner," commented Emily calmly, watching the goings on.

"Oh my," said Joseph weakly.

Tracy and RomanTwo had come forward in the meantime to see if there was anything they could do.

"Maybe he's pregnant too," joked Tracy as he came up to see if EJ needed a hand with moving the man.

"Nah," said John with a shake of his head from where he was still standing at the front of the church, "He's a priest - they do the no sex thing."

"And the fact that he's a man would be another big indicator that it probably wasn't that John," pointed out RomanTwo, tongue firmly planted in cheek to which John just shrugged, obviously considering that a lesser consideration.

"We just roofied a priest!" exclaimed Eric, looking distressed but trying to act natural and not draw any attention to himself as he and Joseph distracted the twins who were sitting between them, "We are so going to hell!"

"But our intentions were good!" fretted Joseph.

"Good or not we still have an unconscious priest on our hands!" exclaimed Eric, keeping his voice low and looking on anxiously as Lexie examined their hapless victim.

"He's… umm… asleep," pronounced Lexie, looking a bit puzzled, "Fast asleep."

"Asleep?" queried Sami, looking perplexed, "What, just like that, in the middle of a wedding ceremony?"

"Perhaps he's a necrophiliac?" suggested John expressionlessly.

Everyone who had heard him stopped and turned to look at John as one, their eyes wide.

"John!" gasped Sami in horror.

"What?" shrugged John, "He can't help it - you shouldn't judge the man wild cat."

"I think you mean maybe he's a narcoleptic John," said Lexie dryly.

"Same thing," shrugged John.

"Not really," said Lexie with a roll of her eyes, "Narcolepsy is a condition whereby people suddenly and without warning just fall into a deep sleep. It's a neurological disorder. Necrophilia meanwhile is when you have sex with dead people."

"It's probably the first thing then," conceded John, "Although the second thing would make you sleepy too I guess… agh!"

John didn't get to finish his sentence as Sami walloped him as hard as she could with her bouquet.

"Another thing for the list?" he asked her stoically, spitting out baby's breath and rose petals.

"Talking about… about _that_ kind of thing at my wedding of all places gets a list all of it's own John!" hissed Sami, giving him a death stare.

"You know maybe the good Father does suffer from narcolepsy?" said Joseph brightly, clinging to the last of his hope.

"Boys," said Emily firmly, "You need to come clean and tell Lexie what you've done so she can look after the poor man properly."

"You're right," sighed Eric heavily, dreading this so much as he gave a hopeful look at Emily, "You'll come and visit us in the hospital right Em?"

"I don't think they allow visitors in intensive care," said Joseph fatalistically.

Emily rolled her eyes at their carry on.

"Just a gentle reminder that you two are not the victims here my darling boys," said Emily wryly, "Rather that unconscious man on the floor is but that being said there is no reason to advertise your well intentioned but nonetheless misguided attempts at helping to the entire church. Simply speak to Lexie privately and explain the situation and then the good Father can sleep it off in one of the bedrooms."

Eric grimaced, knowing Emily was right so he and Joseph reluctantly got up and pulled Lexie to one side and told her the whole story. Emily watched all the range of emotions pass over the younger woman's face as she looked on - confusion, surprise, shock, horror and then finally annoyance as she obviously told them off for being so irresponsible. Lexie then gave them a final glare and hurried back to her patient while Eric and Joseph came to sit back down beside Emily looking exactly like chastised children.

"Well the good news is that Lexie thinks Father Thompson is going to be fine - just needs to sleep it off like you said Emily," said Eric, still looking a little sheepish for his part in the dramas.

"She's not going to say anything to anyone but she's made us promise that we'll confess all to the Father when he comes to," said Joseph, looking stricken.

"Well that sounds like a suitable punishment," nodded Emily approvingly with a little smile.

"I haven't done a confession for years," mused Joseph idly, "I wonder what shoes I should wear to that?"

"Joe, I don't think that is our main concern somehow," said Eric with a roll of his eyes as he watched Tracy and RomanTwo carry the now softly snoring priest out of the church between them.

"Ah… it turns out that the Father was on some medication that didn't agree with him," Lexie told EJ and Sami as she sent a quick unimpressed look Eric and Joseph's way, "He'll be out for the duration I'm afraid."

"So who's going to do the ceremony now?" asked Sami despondently.

She was happy there was nothing seriously wrong with Father Thompson but without him they were kind of at an impasse.

"I'll marry you."

Everyone turned to look at who had spoken wide eyed.

"Dad?" Sami said, looking at him questioningly.

"Well as the Father was trying to say before lights out," began Roman calmly, having a few suspicions about Lexie's explanation but deciding he'd leave that be for the time being, "You and EJ are already married so you don't need to have anyone actually legally marrying you. I'm thinking you just need someone to officiate over the ceremony."

"And you'd do that for us Roman?" asked EJ hesitantly, realising what a big thing this was for Roman to volunteer for such a thing.

Roman looked steadily back at him.

"I would," said Roman firmly.

"Oh Dad!" cried out Sami and going to hug him, "Thank you, thank you!"

"Yes thank you Roman," said EJ warmly, shaking his hand, "I can't tell you what this means to Samantha and I."

"Arlighty then," nodded Roman, "So shall we give this another go."

"Third times the charm," agreed EJ and shared a smile at Sami at their little private joke.

Everyone settled back down in their pews as Roman took position where the unfortunate priest had been clubbed over the head by Mr Sandman rather unexpectedly.

"So we are all gathered here today to witness Sami and EJ renewing their vows," began Roman as EJ and Sami smiled up at him, "They have had an… unusual journey to get to where they are now…"

"My brother," commented Bo quietly to Hope, "King of the understatements."

"Is there a story?" asked RomanTwo with interest, pretty sure it was going to be a good one if his somewhat limited experience with this family was anything to go by.

"You could say that," nodded Tracy with a grin, talking softly.

"Please," snorted Nicole who had managed to position herself between the two good looking men, "EJ and Sami's story makes 'War and Peace' look like a comic book!"

"I've heard you've got a little comic book action going on with your past as well Nicole," grinned Tracy.

"Whatever Sami told you is a complete and utter lie," said Nicole flatly.

"Oh," said Tracy cheekily, "That's a shame."

Nicole turned her head so fast to look at Tracy with renewed interest that there was an audible clicking sound.

"We've all come here today because we love and care about these young people," continued on Roman, "And we want to support them in their lives together and the family that they have made for themselves."

"And continue on with the making apparently," noted Tony wryly to his wife.

"It's so romantic," sighed Anna, leaning in to him and looking up at Tony wistfully, "Another baby."

"Don't give me that look Anna," said Tony firmly, "That particular horse bolted long ago my darling."

"Do you have the rings?" asked Roman with a little smile.

"Uncle John?" prompted EJ, looking back at him.

John reached into his pocket and handed the rings to Roman and then Roman handed EJ's ring to Sami and Sami's ring to EJ.

"I know EJ and Sami have prepared things they want to say to one another," said Roman, looking at Sami then, "Do you want to go first Sami?"

"Yes," smiled Sami and took a deep breath.

Sami tilted her head back to look up at EJ and the way he was smiling so tenderly down at her made it difficult for her to catch her breath again. EJ took her hands and they faced one another as Sami began to speak.

"I wrote these vows on a hundred pieces of paper and tore up each one," she told him, her voice full of emotion, "I don't know where to even begin. You make me so happy EJ… and so mad and crazy and frustrated and delirious. It's like every day with you I live a whole life time. You're my morning and my evening and all the hours in between."

EJ swallowed hard, his eyes misting up at her heartfelt words. Even though he'd known for a long time now how much Sami loved him it never failed to affect him when she spoke those feelings aloud.

"You make me feel loved," she told him earnestly, "And safe and like I'm finally home at long last. I know I can be difficult sometimes but no matter how crazy I might get I never feel like I'm going to lose your love and…"

Sami stopped then and had to check herself as her heart nearly burst with love for this man standing in front of her looking at her with so much love on his face.

"This is so beautiful," whimpered Joseph, tears running unashamedly down his face.

"Joey dear," said Emily softly, handing him a handkerchief.

"No thanks Emmy," sniffled Joseph, "I've come prepared."

Joseph reached down underneath one of the pews and pulled out a huge box of tissues and pulled out a several of them and dabbed his eyes with them. The twins found this quite fascinating and wanted to pull out tissues like their Aunty Joseph but Emily stopped them with one tissue each, gently but firmly. The twins then rubbed the tissues over their faces, mimicking Joseph and making everyone who saw it smile.

"And you'll never know what that means to me," Sami managed to finish, "You're love has made me whole EJ, you've healed me and set me free. I love you… I will always love you. Every time I think I can't love you more you do something that makes me realise that there will never be an end to the ways I love you. You're my other half and I'm so grateful that we've found each other and now that we have I am never going to let you go."

A tear rolled down EJ's face at her emotional words and he closed his eyes against all the emotion.

Sami choked back a little sob of her own, albeit a happy one and she wiped away his tear with her thumb. Sami looked up at him and mouthed the words 'I love you' to him and EJ smiled through his tears. She picked up his hand and placed EJ's wedding ring back on his finger and EJ felt like he could breathe again now that it was back where it belonged and made a silent promise to himself that he'd never take it off again. She slid it into place and they looked at each other for a long moment.

"EJ," prompted Roman quietly, touched by Sami's obviously sincere words.

EJ gave a little smile of acknowledgement to Roman and then looked back at Sami.

"Words are too small for how I feel about you," said EJ earnestly, "So I have no words for you Samantha other than this promise I make to you now, in front of all our family and friends. I pledge to you that I will spend the rest of my days showing you how much I love you and how your love has changed me. You've made me want to strive to be a better man and to be worthy of your love. I am going to be the best father I can be to all of our children and they will always know that they have the unconditional love of their father… no matter what. My life began the day I met you and I will only ever know true happiness, true peace when you are by my side sweetheart."

"OHH!"

A choked cry followed by a loud sniffle and blowing of a nose followed EJ's heartfelt words. Everyone turned to look at Joseph who's quiet sobs had finally overflowed into something more vocal and decidedly more moist.

"Sorry Lolly," he sniffled, wiping at his nose as he looked at EJ and waved an encouraging hand at him, "That was beautiful - keep going honey, you're doing great!"

"Thank you for that Joseph," said EJ wryly and then looked back at Sami who was smiling at Joseph's antics.

EJ tightened his hold on Sami's hands as he finished what he was trying to say to her.

"I promise you Samantha," he said earnestly, "That I am going to be by your side for the rest of my life and loving every part of you the entire time… you're my whole world, my beginning and my end… I love you."

Sami made a little choked noise of her own, her hand going to her heart and pressing on it as she felt it beating wildly away in her chest at his beautiful words.

"EJ," she whispered, looking up at him adoringly as stray tears began to streak down her cheeks, loving him so much in that moment that it was painful.

EJ gave a tender smile and gently wiped away her tears as she had done for him earlier. He then picked up Sami's hand and placed the ring that Santo had made for Colleen all those years ago and slipped it onto her finger and prayed there would never be another reason for her to take it off ever again.

"They are never to find out," said Eric flatly to Joseph as he watched the loving moment between the pair, "To our graves Joe."

"I wish we'd given them one more wash," said Joseph with a regretful sigh.

"I wish we hadn't had to pull them out of a peacock's ass in the first place," muttered Eric morosely.

"If I remember correctly I did the pulling Boo!" huffed Joseph.

"And your sacrifice has been duly noted and much appreciated," nodded Eric calmly, "But I'm still intending on getting blind drunk at the reception and blocking out the horror from my memory."

"Way ahead of you Boo," conceded Joseph, opening his coat and revealing a little flask.

"Joseph," nodded Eric appreciatively, "My man with the plan."

"You may now kiss the bride," announced Roman.

Two identical smiles split EJ and Sami's face.

"Mrs DiMera," he grinned down at her.

"Mr DiMera," she replied breathlessly.

EJ leant down and kissed her then and Sami tried her best to remember that she was standing there in front of all of her friends and family and that she should try and keep this as chaste as possible but EJ was not making it easy for her. She could hear everyone applauding them but all Sami cared about was that EJ never stop kissing her.

Thankfully EJ broke the kiss in the end because Sami just couldn't seem to find the strength to somehow. They turned around and faced everyone, EJ's arm around Sami as they smiled out happily to everyone who were mirroring their happiness.

"Now then," laughed Sami, "Who's up for a party?"


	88. Chapter 88

**Chapter EIGHTY EIGHT**

**THE WEDDING RECEPTION:**

The wedding reception was in full swing and people had just finished their main meals and dessert was about to be served. People were taking advantage of the break to get up and talk to different people and it was all going surprisingly well after the couple of hiccups at the wedding.

"So that's the new acquisition huh?" said Tracy who, with Eric and RomanTwo had gone to check out Harold who was wandering around outside the marquee where the reception was being held.

"So what is that now?" asked RomanTwo in amusement, "Seven peacocks?"

"Seven regular ones and one albino," Eric corrected him, "Six flamingos and a monkey in a tree."

He inclined his head towards Roger who had decided that he'd needed a little time out and had scaled a nearby tree and was looking down on the proceedings with mild interest.

"Mate," said RomanTwo with a rueful shake of his head, "You've got a regular twelve days of Christmas scenario going on here!"

"In that case pencil me in for the eight maids a milking," grinned Tracy.

Just then Nicole appeared, walking determinedly towards the three men.

"Well we're half way there," said Eric straight faced, "Here comes the cow."

Nicole pulled an unimpressed face at him, having overheard the comment which had pretty much been Eric's intention.

"You know Eric," she said flatly, "I realise I'm a hard girl to get over but at some point, you've got to suck it up and get off my back."

"Well from what I hear I'd have to get to the back of a very long queue to do that," said Eric, smiling at her sweetly.

"Well," RomanTwo straight faced to Tracy as they look on at the ex-lovers, "This isn't awkward _at_ _all_."

Nicole and Eric didn't hear him though, they were too busy glaring at one another.

**oooOOOOooo**

The desserts had been served now and everyone had been enjoying them and John decided it was time for his speech. He stood up then and picked up a teaspoon and began tapping his backside with it. EJ who was sitting to his right with Sami on the other side of him at the head table looked him up and down in despair and shook his head.

"What _are_ you doing Uncle John?" he asked in mild horror.

"I'm tapping on my ass to get everyone's attention," said John, looking back at him steadily, "It's tradition - I read it in one of those wedding book's of the wildcats."

"Perhaps it's time for you to consider getting glasses then Uncle," said EJ in exasperation, "The tradition is that you tap on your _glass_ to get everyone's attention, not your _ass_!" EJ informed him through gritted teeth.

John arched an eyebrow at EJ's, in his opinion unnecessary, vehemence with that last statement. He turned his head to see that everyone in the marquee had stopped what they were doing and were looking up at John in varying degrees of amusement, except for Marlena of course who was taking a big drink of her wine.

"My way worked," commented John stoically, nodding at everyone and how he now had their rapt attention.

EJ gave a little groan and gave up trying to reason with him.

"Well this speech is off to a great start," muttered EJ sarcastically to himself.

"This speech is off to a _great_ start!" said Tracy enthusiastically to Eric and the other's at the table, "I've been looking forward to this since John won that bet with EJ and he got to be best man!"

"Won a bet?" asked Roman with a quirk of his lips.

The more he found out about this wacky family, the more he liked them.

"It involved the twins, a slippery dip and clothes with an unexpected amount of traction," grinned Tracy, filling him in.

"Ohh," said Joseph with a little giggle, "Remember how the blonde kitten threw a dumb bell at his head when Lolly told her what he'd done?!"

"Do you remember how she accused him of trying to ruin their wedding because they were doing the no sex thing and offered for him to take her on the ground right then if that would make him happy?" chortled Tracy, remembering Sami's hysterics with great amusement.

"I didn't," said Eric darkly, scowling at Tracy, "But thanks for reminding me about that man, like I haven't had enough traumas today!"

"What kind of traumas?" asked RomanTwo with great interest.

"Nothing," said Eric quickly, taking another mouthful of his beer.

"Come on mate," grinned RomanTwo who had a definite mission that night of finding out how Eric got the nickname Boo from Joseph and now to find out what else had gone on today that he didn't know about, "I'll tell you why your brother in law was almost late for his own wedding… it involves me having to use a screwdriver!"

RomanTwo waggled his eyebrows at Eric, trying to entice the secret out of him but Eric shook his head at him.

"No way man," he said firmly, "To my grave… to my grave!"

Sami meanwhile was starting to fidget anxiously up the front as she watched John organising himself with the microphone, ready to finally give his dreaded best man's speech.

"Relax sweetheart," said EJ confidently, putting a hand over hers and smiled at Sami.

"How can you be so calm EJ?" asked Sami in anguish, "We're unleashing John on a roomful of our family and friends?! There's no way of telling what he's going to say or do now!"

"I found the piece of paper with his speech on it earlier today," EJ informed her, "I read it through and it's not that bad - kind of standard stuff actually. I think Uncle John found a book to help him write it."

"Really?" asked Sami, the relief on her face obvious now, "Oh thank god!"

"I know," grinned EJ, "So just sit back and relax sweetheart - this is going to be fine."

Sami returned his smile and stopped worrying and they both turned to look as John stood up at the bridal table and prepared to give his speech. John picked up the microphone and pulled out a couple of sheets of paper from his coat pocket while everyone looked with polite expectation up at him. John looked down at the papers in his hands, then over at EJ and Sami who were looking at him with silent encouragement and then at the wedding guests.

"So when I got this gig as Super Man," began John, "I was told there would be a speech to be made…"

"Superman?" repeated Bo in confusion.

"I think it's John interpretation of best man honey," Hope informed him knowingly.

"You know I think I like that better," commented Steve, "They should change it."

"… so I went and read all the books about speeches and toasts and wrote one," continued on John, looking down at the pieces of paper in his hand again thoughtfully, "But now I'm here I realise that was the wrong thing to do…"

"Oh no," said EJ weakly.

John threw the papers away and looked out at the crowd happily.

"So I'm just going to wing it," he informed them all.

"No!" gasped Sami.

"Yes!" said Eric excitedly.

He too was eager to see what an unscripted John would come up with, like the rest of his table.

EJ grabbed Sami's hand then and leaned in close to her, his eyes suddenly desperate.

"Now just remember that no matter what happens next we have two children together, you're pregnant with our third child and you just declared your love for me publicly to all of our friends and family," EJ reminded her urgently, "No matter what my uncle says next you can't leave me Samantha!"

Sami bit her lip and felt a similar desperation well up in her, wondering if now would be a good time to stage another fainting.

"You know," said John conversationally, "I've been accused of not knowing what love is before now and maybe they're right. I do have a few blanks about the whole thing since the resurrection…"

"My but I do wish he'd stop referring to it like that," sighed EJ unhappily, "I keep feeling like every time he does the heavens will open and he'll be struck down."

"I wish!" said Sami morosely, taking a sip of her drink and wishing so badly that it could be alcoholic so this could all be a beautiful alcoholic blur when she thought back on it.

"But I've learnt a few things about love since I've been back," said John, "I do know that love is all you need, that it lifts you up where you belong and is a many splendour thing."

"Ahh…" frowned Tracy, trying to work out why that sounded familiar.

"Moulin Rouge Addy," supplied Joseph helpfully, recognising it immediately, "Ohh, I so loved that movie!"

"Addy?" asked RomanTwo with an arched eyebrow to Eric.

"Joe used to call Tracy his blonde Adonis but it ended up being shortened to Addy," Eric filled him in.

"Joe should be Australian with his love for nick names," laughed RomanTwo, "We love to shorten names but generally we just put an 'o' or a 'y' on the end - like, Jacko or Jacky. You know, _Boo_, you still haven't…"

"Not… gonna… happen," interrupted Eric flatly, knowing where he was going with that.

"If you say so," grinned RomanTwo, handing him a fresh beer which Eric accepted without thinking about it.

RomanTwo smirked to himself and watched Eric take a swig from the bottle - he was going to get to the bottom of the mystery of Joseph's nickname for him even if it meant Eric was going to have the mother of all hangovers tomorrow!

"You know a wise man once said…" said John, starting to get really into it now, "… that you should diversify your stock holdings and limit the amount of high risk, high return investments…"

Everyone waited expectantly for John to tie that back into the wedding speech but apparently that wasn't to be.

"A marriage is like a windmill…" continued on John blithely, his scatological way of thinking being a bit of a challenge to keep up with so everyone was having to pay close attention but even then there were still some decidedly confused looking people looking back at John.

"Hm," noted Steve to his wife in a quiet aside, "A wedding toast and sound financial advice… this speech has it all."

"Shh," Kayla shushed him but had to admit, she'd never quite heard a speech like this.

"… and that is how I know that the kids here…" said John.

"Oh sorry," said Joseph, suddenly raising his hand, "Sorry to interrupt Black Bear but how exactly is a marriage like a windmill sweetie?"

"And question and answer time," noted Bo with a nod of his head, "This speech really _does_ have it all."

"Black Bear?" repeated Roman in consternation.

"Isn't it obvious?" asked John in surprise and looked around at the crowd of people who were all shaking their heads at him and looking back at him in bemusement.

John rolled his eyes at their obtuseness and clarified.

"Windmills are big in Holland," he prompted them and they all still just looked blankly back at him.

"I have a bad feeling about where this is going," muttered EJ and he wasn't wrong.

"Holland is the sex capital of the world," continued on John, waiting for them to catch on, "You get a lot of sex in marriage…"

"I missed _that_ memo," commented Abe under his breath and was rewarded with a slap from his wife.

"You do okay mister," Lexie informed him and then gave him a warning look that was only slightly ruined by the way her lips were curving up in a smile, "Unless you keep talking of course."

"And let me tell you, Elvis and the wild cat have _that_ covered," continued on John casually, "You have to knock before going into any given room of the house unless you want an eyeful… and I recommend checking who's on the phone line before trying to make any phone calls otherwise you can find out more than you ever wanted to know about some things…"

"EJ!" squeaked Sami, burying her head in EJ's shoulder, blushing furiously.

"Hang in there sweetheart," said EJ, patting her hand and trying to be strong for them both, "It can't be much longer."

"Of course it's been safe to get up and make yourself a cheese sandwich in the middle of the night lately because they've been doing the whole abseiling thing…"

"They did it abseiling?" asked Steve, raising an eyebrow and echoing everyone else's confusion but he was the only one who voiced the question, "How is that even possible?"

"Remind me again why we had that no gun policy at this wedding sweetheart?" said EJ faintly.

"Maybe it's got something to do with the ropes?" suggested RomanTwo helpfully and a few people nodded, thinking that possible.

Sami groaned and buried her face deeper into EJ's shoulder; quite certain she was going to have to kill herself after the reception at this rate.

"I do believe John was meaning to say abstinence," announced Emily, the ever calm voice of reason and there was a general murmur from the crowd that that sounded about right.

"Okay sweetie," said Joseph brightly, "We're with you - carry on won't you."

"Alright then," nodded John stoically, "As I was saying marriage is like a windmill but that isn't all it's about. I've watched these two kids of mine go through some interesting challenges and obstacles and pull together to overcome them and get each other through. Of course, it wouldn't have been the way I'd go about it a lot of the times but then, they don't own a tank either so I guess their resources are somewhat limited…"

"You did hide the keys to that tank didn't you EJ?" asked Sami anxiously, finding that last statement of John's a little worrying.

"Oh yes," said EJ happily, patting her hand comfortingly, "Most definitely sweetheart."

"I know there is still a lot I've got to learn," said John, "There are lots of things I don't understand… like why you have to spell the word sex to be polite and yet it's perfectly alright to go for it on top of my billiard table…"

Everyone turned and looked at Sami and EJ then who were doing their best to look unfazed by all this but it was a struggle.

"I told you I heard someone!" squeaked Sami, hitting EJ's arm and blushing so brightly that it was almost painful.

"I guess I just had my mind focused on other things at the time sweetheart," said EJ wryly to her in a quiet aside.

_That_ had been quite the game of pool to be sure and EJ couldn't help the little smile at the memory of what the wager had been over that game. All EJ knew that at the end of it he certainly didn't _feel_ like a loser!

"I don't know why meat products aren't an acceptable romantic gift," continued on John carelessly, "I mean pork must be romantic otherwise why would you say that you've porked someone when you've…"

"JOHN!" exclaimed Marlena, refusing to let that sentence go on any longer and gave him a firm look, "NO!"

John pursed his lips and looked a little put out but obviously decided to let it go.

"Wow," noted Tracy with an arch of an eyebrow, "That could have gotten pretty graphic!"

"Could have?" repeated Eric weakly, trying not to think about his mom and John in that way… ever!

"Anyway," said John, continuing on undaunted, "Like I said - there are still a lot of things I don't understand. But these are the things I do know… you should never leave home without a pocket full of straws… you can't make a clockwise circle with your right leg while drawing the number six in the air with your right hand…"

Steve pursed his lips and tried to do just that, only to find he couldn't.

"Hey," he said in surprise, "John's right."

"No he's not," said Kayla with a shake of her head, "Look."

Kayla attempted it and failed and Steve gave her a challenging look.

"See?" he teased her.

"… and I know that my nephew and Samantha are devoted to one another," finished off John, "They see each other for who they truly are, deep down inside…"

Sami and EJ smiled tenderly at one another at John's observations, knowing them to be true.

"… but they love each other anyway," said John with a resigned shrug, "Go figure."

"My uncle gives and he takes away," said EJ flatly, rolling his eyes as John destroyed the lovely sentiment he'd started with those words.

"So to my Nephew and the wildcat…" announced John, holding his glass out as he toasted them.

Sami and EJ both breathed a sigh of relief, knowing their torment was almost over with but their relief was a little premature as it turned out.

"…they love the crap outta each other."

A few eyebrows shot up and jaws dropped open but Caroline Brady simply smiled, stood up and raised her glass as well, smiling lovingly at EJ and Sami who were looking a little tense themselves.

"To EJ and Sami," she toasted them, a big smile on her face, "… they love the crap out of each other."

Caroline's actions seemed to burst the dam because immediately everyone stood up and followed suit, glasses were raised and as one they chorused.

"TO EJ AND SAMI… THEY LOVE THE CRAP OUT OF EACH OTHER!"

"Well I think it's safe to say that is probably the first wedding toast that contained a profanity in it," noted Tracy in a quiet aside to Eric as they all toasted EJ and Sami.

"My grandmother just said the word 'crap'," said Eric, sounding a bit dazed and taking a big swig of his drink.

"Do you think Hallmark makes a card that says that?" pondered Steve thoughtfully.

EJ and Sami meanwhile were just looking at each other, lost in the other's eyes.

"That could have been worse," noted EJ softly as everyone toasted them, looking at her lovingly.

"Yes," said Sami quietly, a slow smile spreading across her face.

"I love you," he told her achingly.

"I love you," she sighed as he closed the distance between them and caught her up in a blinding kiss.

Everything else faded for them, they were alone in the room, the people applauding and laughing didn't exist, it was only the two of them. They broke the kiss and smiled adoringly at one another.

"Well I guess if we can survive a speech by John in our honour we can survive anything," Sami grinned up at him.

"Sweetheart," said EJ with great certainty, "Wild horses couldn't drag me away from you… ever."

Sami's face lit up at that.

"That is a very nice thing to know," she said softly, leaning in to kiss him again, still oblivious to all the people smiling and clapping at them.


	89. Chapter 89

**Chapter EIGHTY NINE**

After everyone had recovered from the speech the cake had been cut and the reception was in full swing. EJ and Sami had done their bridal waltz earlier while everyone looked on and it had taken all of EJ's powers of restraint to remind himself that they were in public and for him not to just throw Sami down on the floor and have his evil way with her and be done with it. Having her in his arms tended to have that effect on him, especially as every ticking minute bought them closer to being finally able to end their self imposed fast of their sex lives.

At the moment EJ was busy trying to distract himself and not be rude to all his guests when all he really wanted to do was to say to hell with it and throw Sami over his shoulder, take her upstairs and ravish her endlessly. He'd set his watch to match the clock counting down upstairs in the bedroom he'd been relegated to this last month - 68 minutes, 22 seconds and counting.

_God give him the strength._

EJ tried to drag his attention back to what was going on around him and saw his uncle standing by himself and walked over to him, hoping to distract himself for the remainder of the time and let's face it - no one was quite as distracting as John!

"Well thank you for that speech Uncle John," said EJ with only a touch of irony in his voice, "It was memorable to say the least. You do have a way with words - I'll give you that much."

"I like to think I conduct myself with a quiet dignity," commented John expressionlessly, nodding.

"So quiet in fact that one might be forgiven for finding it inaudible Uncle," said EJ dryly.

Rolf walked by them then, mumbling to himself.

"Rolf?" called out EJ, "Are you alright? Is there a problem?"

"Za problem iz Elvis zat zere are urwüchsiges Volk in my Küche!" said Rolf, his English slipping somewhat when he was agitated.

"Oh Rolf," laughed EJ and shook his head, "Is that really a big problem?"

"It _sounds_ like a big problem," commented John thoughtfully, "I wouldn't want worgersicker vulk in my kusher."

"Uncle John," said EJ patiently translating for him, "Rolf is just complaining that his kitchen is full of 'primitive people' - that's all."

"Zat iz not all Elvis!" raged Rolf, not to be placated, "Zomevone haz touched my cupboard!"

"What exactly is in that cupboard of yours that you are so protective about?" asked EJ, suddenly suspicious.

"Nozing Elvis," said Rolf firmly, "I just like it a zertain vay and ven people touch zings it upsets me!"

"Clearly," said EJ wryly, deciding to keep his knowledge of Eric taking castor oil from the cupboard to himself.

EJ gave a little frown then - he never did find out what Eric had wanted with the stuff but it must have been important for him to brave Rolf's cupboard like he obviously did.

"Zere she iz!" said Rolf, suddenly pointing an accusing finger at a woman across the room.

She was a woman probably in her early fifties, quite generously built with blonde hair piled up on top of her head and dressed in a caterers uniform. EJ knew who she was having met her before. Her name was Ursula and was the head of the caterers who had organised all the meals for the evening. She was Scandinavian and EJ had found her to be very professional and efficient in his dealings with her. Rolf on the other hand didn't seem to be quite so enamoured.

"Zat iz za… za… terroristin!" exclaimed Rolf dramatically.

"You don't think you're being a little extreme in referring to the woman as a terrorist Rolf?" asked EJ ruefully.

Obviously Rolf didn't because he was heading off determinedly in the unsuspecting Ursula's direction. EJ wasn't too concerned though, Ursula struck him as a woman who knew how to handle herself and one irate Austrian wasn't going to ruffle her feathers too much.

**oooOOOOooo**

Eric blinked blearily at RomanTwo and continued on with his story.

"So I'd come back from a run and I was going to take a shower," said Eric, his words slurring ever so slightly.

RomanTwo nodded at him encouragingly, finally having gotten him drunk enough that he was spilling on the 'Boo' story.

"I went into the bathroom and didn't realise Joe was already there after having a work out in the downstairs gym," said Eric, swaying a little as they stood outside in the fresh air.

"Yes," prompted RomanTwo, hanging off every word, "And then…"

"I walked in and there is Joe," said Eric with a drunken wave of his hand that was still holding a bottle of beer, sloshing liquid everywhere as he did, "Naked as the day is long!"

RomanTwo began to laugh at that but tried to keep himself in check.

"So he was starkers eh?" said RomanTwo, his face starting to ache with holding back his laughter.

"I don't know what that word means," said Eric very seriously, facing him and swaying quite badly now so much so that RomanTwo had to put his hand up to steady the other man, "But if it means I could see Joe's pee pee, then yes, he was starkers!"

RomanTwo made a pained gasping sound as the laughter threatened to just burst out of him at that.

"To be fair I did offer to see him nude to even things up," said Joseph brightly, walking up with Nicole who had overheard their conversation as well.

Joseph made a disappointed face then.

"He said no," said Joseph regretfully.

"So I still don't get the Boo thing," said RomanTwo, his voice sounding strained now as he could feel himself losing it.

"I'm standing there praying to God that I can remember how to blink again… Joseph's naked and he just goes… he goes… Peekaboo!" said Eric, making another expansive hand gesture.

"Well I had to say something," said Joseph in his defence, "And 'how about those Yankee's' didn't really seem to cut it under the circumstances!"

RomanTwo just dissolved in laughter at that, completely lost as he laughed hysterically.

"Oi!" protested Eric at the other man's mirth, "That was a traumatic event for me okay?!"

"Oh please," said Nicole with a roll of her eyes, "So you've seen Joseph naked, you and a couple hundred other men."

"Hey!" said Joseph and Nicole arched an eyebrow at him and he gave her a bright smile, "That's it sugar, don't have anything to add seeing as it's true - just thought I should protest."

Nicole rolled her eyes at that and turned her attention back to Eric.

"I've seen you naked and you don't see me getting all worked up about it," she said blithely.

"Yeah well," sniped back Eric, "I've seen both you and Joseph naked now and guess what Nicole… Joe's got bigger boobs than you do!"

"Hey!" Nicole and Eric chorused in outraged unison at that comment.

"Sorry man," said Eric with an apologetic wave of his hand at Joseph, "I was aiming for her, you were just caught in the crossfire."

RomanTwo meanwhile was struggling to breath because he was laughing so hard at all the carry on. Eric turned away then, suddenly feeling queasy, all the beer and wine he'd consumed giving him some payback now.

"Don't you turn your back on me," she huffed, grabbing his shoulders and jerking him around to face her.

This was not the smartest thing that Nicole could have done considering the state of Eric which she was about to find out in the worst possible way.

"You think you can just say or do anything to me Eric Brady well you got another thin… OH MY GOD!"

Eric couldn't help himself, the alcohol he'd consumed exacting the ultimate revenge as he vomited and unfortunately for Nicole she'd positioned herself directly in front of him and Eric had no choice but to throw up all over her. She screeched and began to hop around and Eric suddenly felt a whole let better. RomanTwo by this stage was on the ground, laughing so hard he was crying.

**oooOOOOooo**

"EJ," said Tony, coming up to his brother and putting a hand on his arm, "A moment?"

"Of course," said EJ with a smile to Caroline and Emily, "Excuse me won't you ladies?"

The two women smiled and nodded and EJ moved over to a corner with Tony.

"That package I was telling you about has arrived," Tony informed him, keeping a wary eye out for Anna.

"Oh right," nodded EJ, "I spoke to Marlena and she is happy for… the package… to stay in her room for the night."

"My driver is at the door," nodded Tony, "We should go and get it all organised now while Anna is distracted."

There was suddenly a peal of laughter and both men looked over to see Anna laughing up at RomanTwo and leaning into him a little as she fluttered her eyelashes at the younger man.

"I'd better take care of that," said Tony in exasperation, "Will you be alright to handle things on your own little brother?"

"I routinely wrangle giant birds Tony," said EJ wryly, "I don't see this being a problem somehow."

Tony gave a quirk of his lips at that.

"Thank you Elvis," he said and then looked over as Anna gave another laugh, "I appreciate this."

"It's not a problem," smiled EJ and watched as Tony hurried off and put himself between his wife and the stripper come handyman.

EJ went out into the foyer, being careful not to be noticed and took receipt of the package and quickly whisked both Clarisse and all the bits and pieces that came with the small dog up the stairs before anyone noticed what he was doing.

"So Clarisse," said EJ conversationally as he walked down the hall, "You're the one who's created a rift in my brother's marriage eh?"

He held the little dog up in front of him to have a better look at her.

"You don't look so tough to me," he smiled at the teacup Pomeranian and Clarisse wiggled a bit in his hands and attempted to lick EJ's face.

EJ laughed at that.

"Well it's very nice to meet you too Clarisse," he said, continuing on down the hall, the bag with her bedding and other belongings over one shoulder, "You're going to be in with Marlena tonight until you get to see your mummy tomorrow. I don't see it being much of a problem - you don't exactly take up a lot of room do you eh Clarisse?"

EJ smiled down at the little dog.

"I bet you're no bigger than a hamster underneath all the fluff," he teased the tiny creature, "Fancy my brother being afraid of you - what's that all about eh? Got him on the run?"

EJ was at Marlena's door then and he pushed the door open, still talking to the dog.

"We'll just get you all set up in here and…" EJ trailed off as he took in the unbelievable sight that met his stunned gaze, "Oo… kaay."

EJ closed the door then calmly and looked down at Clarisse.

"On second thoughts Clarisse that doesn't appear to be the room for you after all," said EJ calmly, "What's say we put you in Eric's room for the time being and then once I've done that I'm thinking I'm going to have to have a rather serious talk with my uncle."

EJ turned around and headed towards Eric's room, shaking his head.

"Like the speech wasn't bad enough?" groaned EJ under his breath.


	90. Chapter 90

**Chapter NINETY**

EJ walked back into the house and made a determined bee line for John who was regaling a group of people over in the corner and EJ shuddered to think what other family secrets he was in the process of broadcasting. Sami intercepted him though before he'd gotten very far. She stalled him with a hand on his arm and then slipped her hand into his and every other thought left EJ's head except for the vision looking up at him so lovingly.

"There you are," said Sami softly, "I thought I'd lost you - where did you get to EJ? Why were you outside?"

EJ had come back from settling Clarisse and decided that seeing as the evening was almost over he had one more order of business to deal with.

_Smokey wandered around the grounds, his ego, along with another part of his anatomy still smarting. He looked up when one of the flamingos from the big box approached him and he looked back at him warily. He'd had enough of these deformed flamingos for one day and if they thought for one moment that he was going to let the events of today just slide then they really were as stupid as they looked! _

"_Well Smokey," said EJ with a smile, "The evening is almost over and I just want to say how pleased I am that you lived up to your end of our deal and that there were no calamities."_

_Smokey just looked back at him unimpressed - no calamities indeed - tell that to his back package!_

"_And seeing as everything has gone so smoothly and Samantha and I are about to retire for the night I thought it appropriate to tie up some loose ends," said EJ, addressing the bird as though he would a person. _

_Smokey tilted his head at EJ, looking at him suspiciously._

_Was that loose end comment some kind of crack about the indignities he'd suffered at the hands of the other mutant flamingos earlier that day he wondered? Did this elongated flamingo know about what had been done to him and if so, why shouldn't he just peck out all his soft bits right now?! _

_Unaware of Smokey's dark thoughts or even the reason for his ire EJ placed the crate he'd carried out onto the ground and opened it up. The peahen stuck her head out cautiously and looked around. Smokey instantly forgot all his thoughts of revenge as soon as the peahen gathered up her courage and walked out of the courage. The stretched out flamingo completely forgotten now, Smokey turned around and faced the newcomer. She looked back at him and blinked a couple of times._

_YOWZERS!_

_She was a complete babe!!!_

_Smokey immediately lifted up his tail and spread his tail feathers for her proudly and began to strut around. The peahen looked back at him with interest - clearly she didn't mind a few scars in her men because there was still a section of Smokey's tail feathers missing that looked unlikely to ever grow back at this point. _

"_Alright then," said EJ, backing up and sensing his company was no longer required, "I'll let you kids get to know one another shall I?"_

_Neither one of them looked up at EJ as he turned around and left them to it. _

"Just felt like a breath of fresh air sweetheart," said EJ, telling the little white lie because he was uncertain if Sami would find it cute and romantic what he'd done or have him certified.

EJ was a little hazy on that point himself and he really didn't want to spend his wedding night in a padded cell and straight jacket if the vote didn't come out in his favour.

"Well I was thinking that it might be time for us to start our own… private… party upstairs," said EJ, smiling up at him seductively.

EJ's heart gave a leap at the suggestion, his body already starting to throb in answer. He threw a desperate look over at John and then looked over at Marlena who was chatting with Emily, oblivious to what was going on in her room. He really should warn her about that in all good conscious.

"What do you say Mr DiMera," purred Sami, leaning into him and fitting her body up against his, "Shall we go and consummate this marriage of ours at long last?"

The way Sami had moved closer to him EJ was treated with a very good view of her generous breasts which of course had been Sami's intention no doubt. EJ felt all the blood in his body suddenly head due south and he swallowed hard.

_Ah screw it - Marlena was a big girl and a trained professional - she was on her own!_

At least that was what EJ told himself before any other thought other then ones of Sami left his head.

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami and EJ were saying their final goodbyes now and EJ was trying his best not to seem too eager to be getting Sami alone but doubted he was pulling it off. He looked over out of the corner of his eye as he hugged Maggie and saw Sami and her father hugging. It had been a nice surprise to EJ when Roman had offered to stand in for the ceremony. Perhaps the time in the cupboard had been time well spent after all.

Sami and EJ walked to the bottom of the stairs, all of their friends and family lined up and waving to them and calling out their congratulations. Sami turned around to give a final wave to everyone and as she did EJ simply bent down and swept her off her feet.

"EJ!" she laughed, caught off guard.

EJ grinned down at her and started to climb the stairs as everyone laughed at EJ's enthusiasm. He began to climb the stairs with Sami in his arms.

"I have to carry my bride over the threshold," he told her happily as carried her easily up the stairs.

"Just don't get too tired doing that," she teased him, "You're going to need all your strength for tonight mister."

"Trust me sweetheart," he grinned down at her, "After all the running and swimming I've been doing this last month instead of making love to my gorgeous wife, I have the endurance of an Olympic triathelete!"

"I'll reserve judgement," giggled Sami, "Until I put you through your paces."

EJ's body tightened in a delicious anticipation of the night ahead. He quickened his pace and was standing at their door and was about to push it open when Sami forestalled him.

"Wrong threshold," she told him.

"Sorry?" asked EJ in confusion.

"I thought it would be nice if we had something a little special for our room tonight," said Sami, looking up at him coyly.

"Sweetheart," said EJ very seriously, "As long as you are in that room, preferably naked, then it's special!"

"You're sounding a bit eager there EJ," she teased him although there was an answering need in her own body to his impatience.

Sami could feel how tensely he was holding his body and she knew it was because of her and her body responded in kind.

"As a beaver," confirmed EJ with a self depreciating smile, "So where am I heading sweetheart?"

"Down the hall, up the next flight of stairs," she informed him with a smile, "Perhaps you should put me down and I can walk - it's a little bit of a trek EJ."

"You're legs are too short," said EJ firmly, turning around and striding off down the hall, "This will be quicker."

Sami had to start laughing again at EJ's rampant keenness but she wasn't complaining. There was something so wonderful about being in his arms and knowing that he carried her about so easily. It made her feel safe and secure in so many ways.

"Keep going," she instructed him when they were on the third floor, "Down the end."

"Wait a minute," said EJ, suddenly piecing it together, "Are we heading for our infamous make out room?"

"If memory serves we did a little more than just make out," said Sami impishly.

"That's right," grinned EJ, "It's where you erected my marquee if I remember correctly."

"EJ!" she laughed at his teasing, giving him a playful slap on the chest for remembering her attempt at sexy banter.

They were at the door now and EJ looked down lovingly at her.

"At last," he sighed, holding her gaze steadily, "After all this time I get to carry my bride over the threshold."

"Oh EJ," said Sami, her voice wobbling a little at all the emotion she heard in his voice.

She had so many regrets about how their first go around at this had played out.

"No," said EJ with a shake of his head, seeming to know what she was thinking, "None of that matters now Samantha - all that matters is that we're getting it right this time. And you have been so worth the wait sweetheart, I would have waited my entire life just for one kind look from you and have died a happy man."

"Oh EJ," said Sami again, tears welling up in her eyes, touched yet again by his beautiful words.

Sami gazed up at him lovingly.

"Take me to bed lover," she whispered up at him.

EJ pushed open the door with his foot, still holding her gaze, unable to tear his eyes from her face until they were in the room and he gave a little gasp of surprise.

"Like it?" she asked him shyly.

EJ looked around and saw that somehow Sami had organised a bed for the room and what had once been a place for storing bits and bots in was now empty except for the bed and the many candles and fairy lights strewn all over the place. The bed was lavishly made up, rich looking coverlet and pillows, all set out perfectly and there was one other item of furniture - a bedside table all set out with champagne, strawberries and chocolate.

"I had it changed for non alcoholic wine this afternoon once I found out about the baby," smiled Sami, taking in his enraptured gaze at knowing she done all of this for them.

"It's beautiful Samantha," said EJ in awe, looking down at her, "I can't believe you found the time to do this as well - you're simply amazing!"

Sami's face lit up at his praise.

"But just tell me that you didn't get this bed in here by yourself somehow," said EJ, sounding a little nervous all of a sudden.

"I had Eric and Tracy do it for me," she reassured him.

"Good," said EJ with a relieved sigh, "Now that we know you're pregnant and the wedding is over with you are going to be taking things a lot easier from now on young lady!"

"What?" she teased him as he put her carefully down on the ground again, as though she was made of china all of a sudden, "No more moving armoires around?"

"Definitely not!" said EJ firmly.

"But that worked out so well for us," she pouted up at him cheekily.

"Yes it did," smiled EJ, pulling her into his arms, his hands resting on the small of her back as he bent down and kissed her neck.

"Today was just perfect EJ," she sighed happily as she felt his lips moving along her neck.

EJ lifted his head, pulling back and looking down at her with arched eyebrows.

"Sweetheart," he began, one hand going to loosen his tie as he was about to remind her of a couple of facts but Sami got in first.

"Oh two people fainting is not even a blip on the radar for one of my weddings," said Sami blithely with a dismissive wave of her hand, "And we always knew John's speech was going to be a doosey! But everything else was simply perfect - no calamities, no close calls, no ex-wives turning up out of the blue pregnant with your child…"

"Was there a huge possibility of that?" asked EJ with a quirk of his lips, "I don't recall marrying any woman other then you Samantha Jean and certainly no one else is having my babies."

A great wave of emotion came over EJ then as he pulled back a little from her to place his hand over Sami's midriff.

"My babies," he repeated softly, rubbing his hand back and forth over her stomach.

"Baby," Sami corrected him quickly.

EJ grinned at that and shrugged.

"Baby," he agreed, "… until we have our first sonagram anyway."

"Ever the optimist aren't you?" sighed Sami with a little smile, not really upset with him.

"It's that can do attitude that has gotten me where I am today," nodded EJ triumphantly.

"Aha," said Sami wryly with an arch of her eyebrow.

"So how are you feeling darling?" asked EJ solicitously, "It's been a big day and you've had a bit of a shock to boot. With all the runnings around you've been doing you must be exhausted."

"I am tired," agreed Sami and gave a heavy sigh, closing her eyes briefly, "Now that it's just the two of us I have to say it feels like everything is catching up with me a bit."

"Sweetheart," said EJ with a bit of a frown, "You should have said something, we could have retired earlier."

"I didn't want to miss out on my own party," said Sami ruefully.

"Well if you're tired then maybe you should just lie down and rest," offered up EJ.

"Really?" said Sami in surprise, "I thought that you were keen to… well, you know… snuggle."

"Darling your health comes before any other consideration," said EJ determinedly, "If you just need to get some sleep tonight then that is exactly what we will do."

EJ's voice cracked a little on that last past despite his very best attempts to sound calm and in control. He really did mean what he was saying but his body was calling him ten kinds of fools for saying it! EJ just hoped that he was up to the challenge of just lying beside Sami all night in a completely platonic way. He'd managed it last time because Sami had been sick and he tried to convince himself that this was exactly the same thing and that he could do this. The trouble was his body was completely starving for hers after being denied her so long that EJ feared he might not be as in control of his faculties as he would have liked to be able to make good on his promise.

"Oh EJ," said Sami brightly, "That is so very sweet of you - thank you for being so understanding."

"Absolutely darling," said EJ, his smile frozen to his face as Sami smiled back at him gratefully, "Whatever you want."

_Being understanding, EJ decided gloomily, bit the big one…_


	91. Chapter 91

**Chapter NINETY ONE**

**THE WEDDING NIGHT…**

"Of course if you're tired then you must rest Samantha," said EJ, trying his hardest to be noble and not to simply burst into tears of frustration, "We can just go to bed and hold each other and it will be lovely and just as good as making love, I mean just because it's our wedding night doesn't automatically…"

EJ trailed off as he saw Sami's lips begin to twitch as he tried to talk himself into this being a good idea. He suddenly looked at her suspiciously and Sami couldn't contain herself any longer, a big smile coming to her lips.

"Are you… are you toying with me?!" asked EJ in real horror.

Sami began to laugh out loud then and meanwhile EJ grabbed his chest, his heart hammering painfully against his hand as he realised she had been teasing him.

"That is _not_ funny Samantha!" he said indignantly but his own smile was threatening to escape his control.

"That's because you can't see your face," chortled Sami knowingly, "Seriously EJ… you should see it…"

Sami pulled this face that looked like she was constipated and having a Brazilian done on her all at the same time, mimicking EJ's expression for him.

"… it's hysterical!" she said and began to laugh in earnest then.

"You are the most… cruel… heartless little vixen I have ever known!" exclaimed EJ, his eyes lighting up and dancing impishly even as he rattled off less then complimentary descriptions of her.

"Yeah?" she said teasingly, fluttering her eyes at him, "So don't you think I should be punished EJ?"

"Mercilessly," agreed EJ, an impish look in his eyes as he started to advance on her.

He pulled Sami into his arms and began to kiss her, slowly, languorously as though they had all the time in the world. His hands ran up and down her back lightly. EJ was carefully holding himself in check, very conscious of the fact that Sami was pregnant with their next child. He'd never made love to a pregnant woman before and wanted to be gentle and tender with her, although the effort it was costing him to move slowly was actually beginning to make EJ shake. Sami pulled back then and looked up at him, a little smile on her lips.

"EJ," said Sami, very calmly, "I've been without you now for nearly a month. We've worked each other up on so many occasions and in all that time there has been absolutely no release for either of us."

"I am aware of that little fact," said EJ ruefully, stroking her face with his finger tips, "Painfully aware in fact."

Sami looked down at the decided bulge going on in the front of EJ's pants and gave a self satisfied little smile.

"So I see," she purred and then looked back up at him, "So the very last thing I want from you right now Mr DiMera is some slow, gentle, extended lovemaking session…"

EJ's eyes flared at that and Sami began to back up slowly, her devilish gaze holding his rapt one.

"So what is it that you want Mrs DiMera?" he asked her, his voice strained.

She moved until she could feel the wall against her back and then she addressed him again.

"What I want you to throw me up against this wall and take me as hard as you can," said Sami, her voice low and dripping with seduction, "Right… now."

"The baby…?" asked EJ, still uncertain.

"Will be fine," she told him firmly and then gave him a challengingly mischievous look, "All you've got to worry about is satisfying his or her mother right now EJ."

"Oh thank god!" exclaimed EJ with such an expression of relief on his face as he quickly closed the distance between them and picked Sami up, pinning her to the wall with his body, "Because there is no way in hell that I can do the other thing yet sweetheart!"

He kissed her hungrily then, a man dying for the taste of her and Sami returned it just as wildly. She wrapped her legs around his waist as they desperately fumbled with each other's clothing. EJ pushed up the voluminous folds of her wedding dress, trying to find her underneath all of that satin while Sami's hands went to his trousers. She pulled down the zipper, finding his swollen length in his boxer and liberating his straining member. EJ pulled aside her panties, not even having time to remove them before he pushed himself into her in one frantic thrust. They both cried out, orgasming instantly and they clung tightly to each other as their bodies pulsated against each other. EJ's knees buckled and he took them both to the ground, still tightly encased in her heat. He managed to turn around then so he was sitting up, his back was against the wall and legs out in front of him while Sami straddling him.

"That… that doesn't count," EJ panted, drawing back to look at her blearily.

"Hell no!" growled Sami, beginning to move up and down on his thankfully still very rigid staff.

EJ groaned and leant back against the wall, the sight of his wife riding him so vigorously almost enough to set him off again.

"God yes Samantha!" he called out, squeezing his eyes close at feeling her picking up her pace, tightening herself more and more around him.

Sami leant forward, arms going around his neck as she quickened her pace even more. EJ's hands went to her hips, encouraging her on, forcing himself as deep into her as he could get.

"Come for me EJ," she growled in his ear, clenching around him so hard then that EJ could only helplessly obey.

EJ gave a long groan followed by a series of sharps grunting noises as he did as she commanded and then Sami felt the gratifying sensation of EJ squirting his maleness into her and she joined him, core pulsating and quivering from her own release as they held on tightly to one another.

"EJ," breathed shakily, resting her forehead against his.

"Mm, yes," replied EJ dreamily, his second orgasm longer then the first but he was in no ways satisfied yet.

Sami went to move off him then but EJ tightened his grip on her, holding her in place.

"Don't!" he groaned, holding onto her tightly, "I'm not done with you yet sweetheart."

Sami could feel that he was still as hard as a rock inside of her and gave a little shudder of delight at the knowledge.

"And I'm not done with you yet either," she said huskily, whispering the words into his ear, "But I thought you might like to open an early Christmas gift from me."

"Really?" asked EJ, his breathing still uneven as he pulled back to look at her, his interest obviously piqued.

"Aha," nodded Sami with a playful little smile, "Tell you what EJ, I'm going to go into the bathroom and get your gift…"

"Mm," murmured EJ happily, his hand going up to her lips and tracing them seductively as she spoke.

"And in the meantime…" Sami brought her walls tightly around his rigid staff as she said that, bearing down on him hard.

EJ gave a strangled groan at the sensation and Sami looked pleased at his response and continued on.

"… I want you to get naked…" she purred, clenching around him tightly again.

"G… god!" bit out EJ, throwing his head back, ready to just blow again if she didn't stop teasing him like this.

Sami could feel him beginning to shake underneath her and couldn't help but thrill to the power she had over this man.

"… get into bed…" she commanded him huskily, bearing down fiercely on him again and held onto it for a long moment.

That was too much for EJ and he just exploded inside of her at her forceful treatment of his already highly sensitised manhood. Sami swallowed hard at the feeling of him flooding her with even more of his seed and felt a deep surge of femininity at the sensation, knowing he was defenceless against her and loving having him in this state. EJ went rigid underneath her, his face screwing up tightly as he rode out his latest orgasm.

It was over too quickly and he looked groggily at Sami when he was done, blinking rapidly and trying to regain some of his senses. Sami gave a knowing smile back at him, pleased at his response to her teasing but she wasn't done with him yet… not by a long shot. Sami slowly released him from her wet cavern, raising herself off him and going to stand beside him on somewhat shaky legs. She looked down at EJ who still had his back against the wall, long legs stretched out in front of him as he looked up at her adoringly.

"I want you hard again before I come back out," she informed him throatily as she slowly turned around and headed out of the room.

"Not… not really seeing that as being a problem sweetheart," EJ promised unsteadily, his eyes on her swaying hips as she left the room.

EJ lay back on the floor in a crumpled heap and groaned loudly as she disappeared behind the bathroom door, in complete and utter ecstasy from what had already passed between them but knowing it was only the beginning of what promised to be a very long night.

"EJ… NAKED… BED… HARD… NOW!"

Her shouted order to him through the bathroom door went a long way towards helping with that last command and EJ grimaced as he felt a new surge of blood to his manhood. God but he loved it when she was domineering in bed. Hell, he loved it when she was submissive, playful, teasing, in bed, out of bed… whenever, however. EJ hauled himself to his feet, using the wall to brace himself. Despite having just had three orgasms in quick succession EJ found himself still aching for Sami and he shook his head. Clearly the woman was a witch to have him so enchanted decided EJ and couldn't have been happier at that thought.

He pulled his tie off and then his coat, quickly discarding the rest of his clothes. EJ went and lay on the bed, completely naked now and propped up by some pillows. He thought of all the things he'd fantasised about doing with Sami all those long lonely nights alone in his bed and felt himself stiffen even more at the thought that he was going to be able to get to do them all with her tonight. Sami meanwhile had changed out of her wedding dress and into the lingerie that she had bought especially for their wedding night. It was a matching white lace half tank top with boy leg panties, it was simple but tasteful and Sami hoped EJ would approve.

"Close your eyes EJ!" she called out to him and EJ smiled, complying.

Sami took a deep breath before walking out into the bedroom again. She saw EJ stretched out on the bed, propped up on some pillows with his eyes dutifully closed and almost at full attention again.

"I do like a man who can follow orders," she giggled and EJ grinned back, still with his eyes closed.

"It wasn't a very hard order to follow," he observed cheekily, "So can I open my eyes yet?"

"Not yet," said Sami, walking over to the bed, "Sit on the side of the bed EJ."

EJ gave a little groan of anticipation and did as she said, managing to keep his eyes closed and sat on the edge of the bed, his feet on the floor. Sami went and stood directly in front of him and struck a pose, one hand to her throat, the other hanging down by her side and turned her head.

"Alright," she said, "You can open you eyes EJ."

EJ opened his eyes and was greeted with the sight of Sami in all her glory. His eyes opened wide, his jaw dropped and words seemed to fail him as he sucked in a strangled breath.

"So?" she teased him with a little smile on her lips, "What do you think EJ?"

"I think…," and EJ had to cough then to clear his suddenly constricted throat, his eyes riveted to her body, "I think I must have been a _very_ good boy this year because Father Christmas bought me _exactly_ what I asked for."

"But EJ," said Sami coyly, "This isn't your Christmas gift."

"It isn't?" asked EJ, sounding a little disappointed and somehow managing to drag his eyes off the gorgeousness of her body on full display for him and look Sami in the eye with a hopeful smile, "But I can still keep it right? I don't have to return this?"

Sami giggled a little at how desperate that last question sounded and bit her lip, suddenly feeling nervous about this. It had been a spur of the moment purchase for her - something she was famous for and now Sami was feeling a little hesitant about whether or not EJ was going to like her gift for him. She took a deep breath, knowing now was not the time for a faint heart and she gave EJ a slow, sultry smile as she advanced on him. EJ watched her move towards him, his face a picture of eager anticipation. Sami came to a halt when she was between his legs and then with a very carefully measured movement she turned slowly around. Looking back over her shoulder she watched as EJ's eyes wandered down her back and then suddenly widened and he made a little gasp of surprise. He looked up at her and she smiled back, trying to gauge his reaction. EJ's eyes dropped back down and then up again to her.

"You… you got a tattoo," he said, his voice full of amazement.

"Aha," she nodded and looked down at him a little hesitantly, "Do you like it?"

"Like it?" he repeated as though she was out of her mind to even think of asking that question, "Samantha, sweetheart… I love it!"

"Really?" she asked delightedly, feeling a wave of relief wash over her at that, she really hadn't fancied getting laser removal if he'd hated it.

EJ looked back down at her backside in wonderment. The tattoo lay just above Sami's panty line and below the little depression in the base of her spine that he'd always found so utterly sexy.

**EJ **

His name, permanently etched on her body.

The idea was a thoroughly erotic one and a very base male part of him adored the thought of her being indelibly branded with his name. His manhood hardened even more, screaming at him to claim what had already been staked out for him but EJ couldn't seem to tear his eyes off the sight of his name imprinted on Sami's body.

"Can I touch it?" he asked and Sami gave a little giggle at the question.

"Of course you can silly," she said, "It's your present."

EJ lifted a suddenly shaking hand to graze the tattoo lightly with a finger. Sami trembled a little under the gentle caress and then shuddered when she felt him replace his fingers with his hot tongue tracing out the same. EJ's hands went to her hips, fingers moving up under the material of her panties. She should have known they weren't going to be staying on for long. He hooked the material with his fingers and dragged down the little scrap of lace and Sami dutifully stepped out of them when they were at her ankles.

"I shouldn't have bothered," she noted with a little laugh.

"Don't say that sweetheart," he told her with a throaty laugh of his own, "I enjoyed that. Besides, I'll never tire of removing clothing from your body… it's one of the great joys of my life."

"EJ," she said and laughed again, shaking her head and then looking back over her shoulder at him just in time to see his large hands take a hold of her bottom cheeks, one in each hand.

He squeezed their fullness rhythmically as he began to press kisses along the curve of her back, the slight stubble on his chin tickling her as he headed downwards. Sami bit her lip as she watched him reach the tattoo and begin kissing all around it before finally kissing the mark itself. He looked up at her then, his hands still grasping and massaging her bottom cheeks.

"You're ass is mine," he purred up at her, that wicked look in his eye that made her knees go weak and her insides turn to jelly.

"Is it now?" she asked him with a little smirk, enjoying the possessiveness in his tone.

"Of course it is darling," he said impishly, "There's my name, right there."

He rubbed his scratchy chin over the tattoo, just to make his point.

"Oh EJ," she said, suddenly all innocence as she looked at him coyly, "I don't think that is how it works EJ. I mean I could write my name on the White House but it wouldn't make it mine now would it?"

EJ moved suddenly, reacting to her teasing. He flung an arm around her waist and used it to swing her around and push her onto the bed. Sami made a shock little sound as she landed face down on the bed, her head spinning from the rapid movement but EJ gave her no time to recover her senses. Immediately she felt his hands go to her hips and dragged her up onto her knees.

"But there is this point of law sweetheart…" he told her, his voice roughened with his escalating excitement.

EJ was pushing her legs wide apart as he was talking and angling her backside upwards as he stood behind her.

"… that possession…" EJ began the slow process of mounting her then, taking his time in claiming her.

Sami made a low groan in the back of her throat at the feeling of him invading her bit by bit, that seemingly always impressively swollen shaft of his moving to penetrate her deeply and she couldn't wait until his possession of her was complete. She gasped as she felt the last of EJ slide home into her, her walls quivering excitedly at having him stretch them again.

"… is nine tenths of the law," he finished with a growl, "Tell me that your ass is mine Samantha."

Sami stubbornly shook her head, wanting him to prove it to her.

"Guess I'm just going to have to show you then aren't I sweetheart?" said EJ throatily, clearly relishing the thought of that task.

He pulled Sami even closer to him, his hands grasping tightly at her hips, his fingers spreading out as he began his assault. EJ remained perfectly still and made her hips the one doing all the work. With a forcefulness that Sami thrilled at he began to push and pull on her hips, jamming her repeatedly on and off his rigid length with a speed and strength that made Sami groan loudly and drop her face into the bed, her fingers clutching at the bed spread. As suddenly as he started he stopped then and made Sami groan again, this time in complaint.

"Tell me who this ass belongs to Samantha," he ordered her, his voice thick and laboured from the exertion of holding himself back.

Sami shook her head again, wanting him to continue what he'd been doing, wanting to prolong his sweet torture of her. EJ growled and resumed his fierce possession of her until Sami was whimpering helplessly into the covers. She could feel her orgasm building, her core tightening in sweet anticipation of her release but EJ stopped again and Sami almost cried in frustration.

"Don't stop!" she begged him, trying to continue with what he'd been doing by herself but EJ held her hips determinedly still, denying them both the pleasure of her doing just that.

"Tell me who's this is Samantha," he rasped the demand of her, his hands running all over her backside and lower back now.

Sami could feel her legs beginning to shake, the need for release overriding every other consideration. She couldn't play anymore, she just needed to come.

"It's yours EJ!" she sobbed brokenly, "My ass is yours EJ - please, please, make me come now - I can't stand it!"

Sami felt him unconsciously jerk inside of her, her words obviously stimulating him further.

"Good girl," he rumbled the praise and leant down over her, his chest against her back and whispered in her ear, "Now you're going to be loud for me now aren't you sweetheart… your penance for making me wait for that."

"EJ," she said shakily, quivering against the domineering demand in his tone, her body responding to all his rampant maleness by pushing out a fresh burst of wetness for them both to enjoy.

"I'll take that as a yes shall I darling?" he purred into her ear, feeling his thigh being treated with the sensation of her extra moisture and the need to just start slamming himself into her becoming a physical pain inside his chest.

EJ began to straighten up, nipping and biting along the length of her back as he did.

"Scream for me sweetheart," he reminded her, with a final gentle bite to her hip, "I want to hear how much you want me."

"Oh yes," sighed Sami, more than happy to comply if he gave her the orgasm she was so hungry for.

"Up darling," he instructed her, "I don't want your screams to be muffled in any way."

Sami groaned and shakily obeyed him, putting her hands on the bed and pushing herself up so that she was on all fours properly. It changed the position of EJ inside her slightly and they both had to struggle to contain themselves at her simple action.

"Am I being too rough sweetheart?" he asked her unsteadily and Sami could feel his hands sweeping over her back, a gentle caress as he made certain that this was going to be okay.

"God no EJ!" she groaned, looking back at him over her shoulder in frustration, "I need you to take me really hard… right now!"

"My pleasure," he growled and began to do just that.

EJ pulled all the way out of Sami and then drove himself home into her hard and Sami gave a yelp of approval.

"Oh yes!" she cried out, "Just like that, more EJ, more!"

This time EJ held Sami steady while he pounded his aching member into her, Sami screaming out her enjoyment for him which got EJ so worked up he could barely breath. Every shout, every cry and groan for more made him harden even more inside of her and if she wasn't so enthusiastically begging for more EJ might have worried that his ever increasing size was hurting her. He put his palms flat down on Sami's backside, holding her still as best he could for his assault, his eyes drawn time and time again to his name staring back at him on her pale flesh. God but he loved it, loved that she'd done such a thing for him. EJ had no idea a tattoo could be this stimulating to him but riding her like this, knowing that Sami had wanted to have his name permanently on her body did things to EJ that he just couldn't fathom.

"OH PLEASE… OH PLEASE!" Sami's screams were getting louder and it turned out that it was probably a very good thing that they'd taken a room a good distance away from everyone else.

Sami couldn't hold back any longer, her orgasm ripping through her like a wild animal attacking. EJ couldn't hold her hips still any longer as she bucked and writhed mindlessly on him. The sight and sensation of it drove him over that hungered for precipice as well and he tumbled down with her.

"Samantha!" he grunted out her name again and again around her choked sobs of climatic release.

How his body even had anything left to give her was beyond him but EJ still felt the sweet sensation of his seed spurting out of him, bathing her womb in it's sticky goodness. All EJ was trying to do as he rode out the intense orgasm was to find a way when he was done not to simply just collapse on top of Sami and crush her to death. His only chance was to pull out of her while he still had a modicum of strength and he did just that, still spasming as he withdrew and threw himself sideways on the bed. Sami collapsed forward as well, face down on the bed, unable to move for a long time and her hips still jerking sporadically. Their combined laboured breathing was all that could be heard for a long time. Eventually Sami rolled over onto her side, facing EJ who was lying on his back, eyes closed, chest heaving.

"Well," giggled Sami, her breathing still rushed and uneven as she snuggled into EJ, not caring that they were both so sweaty, "I'm glad I went with the tattoo instead of my second choice for your Christmas gift."

"Which was?" panted EJ, despite all of the running he'd been doing, it had obviously in no way prepared him for the rigors of satisfying his wife.

"Socks," she told him straight faced.

They looked at each other then and burst out laughing.

"For the record sweetheart," chuckled EJ, settling his chin on top of Sami's as she spooned into him, "That was WAY better than socks."


	92. Chapter 92

**Chapter NINETY TWO**

Water sluiced down EJ's muscled chest as he leant heavily against the wall in the shower, rivulets of water streaking down his flat stomach and darking the blonde hair of the woman currently kneeling in front of him. They'd decided that a shower was called for after the exertions of earlier on that evening and though it had started innocently enough things had quickly taken a turn. Somewhere between Sami soaping up his back and him washing her hair Sami had taken it upon herself to renew his 'interest' as it were and she was certainly doing that. Watching her service his manhood with that skilful mouth of hers, little hands wrapped around his steadily swelling shaft did things to him that EJ had no words to describe.

"You're killing me Samantha!" he groaned, his head lolling to one side but unable to tear his eyes from the way her mouth was so hungrily devouring him.

Sami slowly pulled her mouth off him then, making him whimper slightly as she released him.

"Do you want me to stop?" she asked him, looking up at him oh so innocently, the way his hardness was pulsating underneath her hand pretty much giving her an answer to her impish question.

"God no!" he grunted.

"What do you want EJ?" she teased him, standing up then, the shower stream hitting both of their bodies now.

"You," he said throatily, "You… always Samantha… endlessly."

Sami began to rub her water slicked body up against his then, her breasts sliding over his chest and felt his now fully erect member jerk against her thigh.

"So it would appear," she purred, looking up at him, "You really are a machine EJ DiMera… has anyone ever told you that before?"

"No," he said impishly, combing his fingers through her long hair and brushing it back from her face, "But no one has ever inspired me like you do sweetheart."

"Yeah?" she teased him with a sultry look, "Care to demonstrate some of that inspiration to me at all EJ?"

"I thought you'd never ask," he growled.

EJ bent down and began to kiss her passionately and Sami quickly lost herself in his kisses so it came as a surprise when EJ suddenly spun her around and pressed her to the tiled wall. She gave a little gasp of shock as the sensitive skin of her breasts and stomach made contact with the cold tiles but they quickly warmed against her heated flesh. EJ's hand went to the back of one of Sami's legs as he stood behind her, lifting it and resting her foot on ledge of the bath tub they were standing in. Sami smiled to herself as she felt his thumbs brush over her tattoo then and didn't have to work too hard at guessing why he'd put her in this particular position. It looked like her Christmas gift had been a definite winner.

Sami's smile quickly left her face as she gave a choked gasp of delight as EJ mounted her without warning, his engorged length claiming her in one fierce stroke. She pressed her cheek against the tiles and closed her eyes at how good it felt to have him inside her again. EJ had closed his eyes at that moment of penetration as well. Every single time this first coming into her body floored him with how perfect it was. This first moment of each and every one of their couplings astounded EJ and he knew he would never tire of being inside this woman… ever. It was just too perfect.

He leaned into her more, one arm reaching up above Sami's head, resting his forearm on the tiles there. EJ's other hand went to hold onto Sami's hip as he began to move determinedly inside of her, his strokes sure and steady.

"God sweetheart!" he said achingly, already feeling the need to pick up his pace and they'd barely started, "No matter how many times I take you, you are always so beautifully tight!"

"No one has ever filled me like you do EJ," Sami gasped, pushing her hips back to met each of his thrusts.

"I never want another man to touch you ever again Samantha!" said EJ, his tone suddenly commanding and urgent, unable to stop himself from thrusting into her more roughly now, "I'd kill them with my bare hands if they so much laid a finger on you!"

"EJ!" said Sami, shocked by the sudden vehemence in his tone but excited by it too.

She wanted to chastise him for even thinking that she could ever want another man to even look at her twice now that she had his love but her core had been enjoying EJ's assault on it too much and she could feel her next orgasm building rapidly. Sami went up on her tip toes, her breathing ragged staccatos of helpless attempts to draw enough oxygen into her lungs to survive this next onslaught of her senses. Her walls began to bear down on him with increasing strength, urging him to release his maleness into her with growing demand. EJ groaned loudly, the sound echoing around the small room.

"Already sweetheart?" he grunted, his hips beginning to thrust in earnest now, pushing his rigid length into her so hard and so often that it was killing them both, "You're so close already?"

"I can't help it," she said, her voice strained, barely coherent now, "You just have to say my name and I want to come EJ!"

EJ gave an appreciative growl at her disclosure and rewarded her duly.

"Saman… tha!"

On the last syllable of her name he slammed himself as deeply as he could into her, making Sami squeak as he almost lifted her feet off the ground, her womb quivering wildly. EJ withdrew himself almost completely from her and Sami gave a sigh of relief, her feet dropping back flat on the ground.

"Saman… tha!"

He invaded her again and made Sami go up on her toes again as she moaned helplessly. Those warm accented tones saying her name, the only person to say her name that way… it drove her crazy at the best of times and with her being currently impaled on his impressive member it just gave it something else again.

"Samantha… Samantha… Samantha…"

Again and again he said her name, pushing into her each time and Sami felt herself cease to exist outside him. The dual sensation of hearing her name so forcefully on his lips as he drove himself home inside of her was utterly maddening.

"Oh… oh… OOOHHH!"

Sami clawed at the tiles with finger nails, trying to find something to grip onto against all the pleasure he was giving her but found nothing. Sami could only hope that EJ had enough in him to keep them both upright as she dissolved into a orgasmic series of frantic spasmings, her climax long and deeply pleasurable. EJ allowed himself the luxury of coming with her, knowing he still had time to pleasure here as slowly as he wanted to but now was not that time. Sami was coming too violently around him to hold himself in check anyway. He felt himself spill his seed into her, tensing as his body delivered its gift to her in short, excited bursts. No woman had ever made him come so hard and often as this one currently sobbing underneath him. EJ gritted his teeth, guttural sounds escaping his throat as he enjoyed the fruits of his labours and was already thinking with eager anticipation of their next encounter.

**oooOOOOooo**

Marlena and John walked up the stairs together. At long last everyone bar the occupants of the house had gone home. The caterers had just finished cleaning up and everything was ready for Christmas day which was less than an hour away now. John went to keep on going to his room but Marlena stalled him. He turned back round and looked at her questioningly.

"John," she said softly, smiling at him, "I just want to say… your speech…"

"What did I say wrong?" sighed John, he'd thought it had been pretty good himself but he and Blondie rarely seemed to agree on that kind of thing he'd noticed.

"No John," said Marlena with a little laugh, "While I admit that there were a few… shall we say… grey areas in your best man's speech there were also some things that really rang true for me."

"Oh?" said John with an arched eyebrow.

"I guess all this time I've been trying to tell you what love is or should be and the truth is…" Marlena trailed off then and looked to be thinking for a moment.

Marlena shook her head and gathered her thoughts again.

"The truth is John is that sometimes I'm just as in the dark as you," she admitted with a rueful smile, "Love can be so many different things at different times… I don't know if any one of us is capable of truly pinning down the exact nature of love."

"Yeah it's tricky to understand," agreed John stoically, "That and the rules of synchronized swimming."

"Right," said Marlena, ignoring that last part and determinedly keeping this on track, "John… I loved the man you were… he was my soul mate, we shared so many things, so many joys and sadness's… our lives. When you lost your memory it was hard for me. I know that probably sounds selfish of me to say because you were the one going through it…"

"You could never be selfish Blondie," John interrupted her, watching her intently, "It's not in you."

"I wish that were true John," she said with a sad smile, "Because I have been selfish all this time. I've been waiting for a man that doesn't exist anymore and punishing you for not being that man. It wasn't right… and I'm sorry. Neither one of us chose for this to be the way it has turned out."

Marlena looked down at her feet then and swallowed hard.

"It's just that…" she looked up at him then, definite tears in her eyes, "You seem so happy to be this John and I'm glad for you… but it feels like I don't have anyone to share my memories with any more. All that time John… it feels lost. I want so much for you to remember how we were… all the things in our lives. I don't even know if this makes sense but my past feels empty and pointless without you in it."

Marlena shook her head then, frustrated at herself for not being more articulate but not knowing how else to say it.

"I miss you John," she said simply, "The way we were."

"I'm right here Blondie," he told her, stepping closer, "Right in front of you. Maybe I'm not the man you remember and I'm sorry that makes you sad but I can't do anything to change who I am now. I don't know if my memories will ever come back and to be honest Blondie… you're right, I am happy being who I am now."

"I know," said Marlena, smiling through her tears and putting a hand on his chest, "I know you do John."

"I know I can't offer you the things the other John could," he said, gazing at her steadily, "But I do still have things to offer you Blondie."

Marlena looked at him, curious as to what he was going to say.

"I can't share your old memories with you Blondie but I can make new ones," he told her, his deep voice steady and unwavering, "… the two of us together… if you wanted to. Every memory I have now has you in it… all of them, without exception. There has never been another for me… not for a second. You Blondie, are the only woman I have ever loved."

"Oh John," said Marlena, putting a hand to her chest, deeply touched by his obviously sincere words.

Marlena moved into his arms, initiating a deeply passionate kiss. John's hand went to her face, touching her cheek.

She pulled back after a long minute and looked up at him lovingly.

"Let's go to bed John," she told him, a sultry smile on her lips.

"But it was just getting good," complained John with what was a definite pout.

"Together John," she said with a little laugh, "I'm saying we should go to bed together."

"You mean share a bed?" said John, looking at her intently.

"That's right," nodded Marlena with a smile.

"And when we're in bed together…" said John, fishing for more details, "What exactly will we be doing?"

"What do you think John?" asked Marlena, snuggling into him a bit more, resting her body more fully against his.

"I think a lot of things," he told her, still a bit hesitant, "And that usually ends me up in a lot of trouble."

"I want you to make love to me John," said Marlena in amusement, clarifying it so there was no confusion.

John just stood there with her in his arms for a long moment and then a slow smile spread over his face and Marlena had to laugh at the self satisfied look he was suddenly sporting.

"You're sure?" he pushed her, wanting to be absolutely certain this is what Marlena wanted.

"Very, very sure John," she said, taking his hand and starting to move towards her bedroom.

"And this is before I even got to surprise you with my grand, romantic gesture," grinned John, clearly pleased with himself as he let her lead him down the hall.

"You did something for me John?" asked Marlena happily.

"Aha," he nodded, "I've been thinking about it ever since you told me what romance was and I think I've found the perfect gift for you."

"Really?" asked Marlena with a smile, clearly intrigued.

Even though she was more discrete about her love of gifts then her excitable daughter Marlena certainly didn't mind the odd gift here or there.

"I wanted to get you something extravagant," he told her, smiling at Marlena's obvious enthusiasm, "Something no one else has ever given you, something unique like you are. I wanted this gift to show you that I'm really getting to know you and know what you like."

"Well I have to say I'm very curious John," said Marlena, stopping in front of her bedroom door and looking at him before going in, "So when exactly can I expect this extravagant, thoughtful, unique gift of yours?"

Marlena looked up at him expectantly.

"Open the door," smiled John.

"It's in my bedroom?" asked Marlena delightedly.

John just nodded and Marlena gave him a last happy look before opening her bedroom door and looking inside, thinking that perhaps the room might be filled with roses or candles or…

"Holy crap John!"

Marlena never swore, it wasn't in her nature but the sight that met her eyes could only elicit one type of response. She stood there, mouth hanging open, trying to fathom what she was seeing. Everywhere she looked in her bedroom was a cat - black ones, tabby ones, grey ones, white ones, stripped ones. There was no way of being able to count them all as they lounged all over any flat surface in her bedroom - the dressers, the bed, the love seat - they were simply everywhere!

"Wha… what… who… why… when… how… why?" Marlena stammered out the series of questions as she walked into the room and looked around herself in absolute shock.

"I had them delivered earlier today, Rolf put them up here," said John with a smug smile, "I knew you'd love them."

"But John…" said Marlena weakly, unable to believe he hadn't answered her most important question first, "Why?!"

"I wanted to show you how well I've gotten to know you," said John, happy to explain, "This is a sentimental gesture Blondie."

"A sentimental gesture?" repeated Marlena faintly, all the while thinking that this gesture definitely had a 'mental' factor to it if nothing else!

"Your favourite musical," he prompted her, "We went out and had that really nice evening together. You really enjoyed yourself. I wanted to show you that I noticed these kinds of things Blondie."

"My favourite musical?" she repeated, finally starting to have it fall into place for her.

"Cats," said John proudly, "You said you loved that musical. It wasn't really my thing but that's romantic isn't it - suffering through things to make the other person happy?"

"Just exactly how many of my 'favourite thing' is in here John?" asked Marlena, looking around herself.

She'd been trying to count them but kept getting distracted and losing count.

"Twenty one," John informed her casually, "The same number of principal characters in the musical. And if you notice too, I made sure to get them all to match up to the cats in the show."

John pointed at a black and silver tom.

"Munkustrap," he named the musicals narrator before pointing at a fluffy white Persian, "Griddlebone…"

"John!" gasped Marlena, looking at him in real amazement, having no idea he'd put this much thought and detail into his 'romantic gift', "You've gone to so much trouble!"

"Of course," he said, looking at her in confusion that she would even think otherwise, "It's for you Blondie."

"Oh John," sighed Marlena as she was hit with a very profound realisation.

She looked at him and realised that even though she was standing in her bedroom, surrounded by twenty one cats which was only going to end in disaster of course, that no man had ever loved her the way this John did. His way of going about things was decidedly strange but absolutely sincere and Marlena realised something else she'd been suppressing for so long now.

"I love you," she said simply and looked at him ruefully, "I love you John."

John grinned then and moved to pull her into his arms but she stalled him.

"Not here John," she said firmly with a shake of her head, looking about herself as the cats that weren't fast asleep were watching them intently, "Let's go to your room."

Marlena looked at him, suddenly anxious.

"There's no animals in your room is there?" she asked him worriedly.

"No," said John calmly, "But we can take a couple of cats if it would make you feel better about it."

"It wouldn't," said Marlena flatly.

She looked at all the cats in the room and shook her head. Rolf had thoughtfully put down a lot of kitty litter trays but still - she had twenty one cats in her room! Marlena suddenly felt John's hand in hers and he bought it to his lips, kissing the back of it softly and she quickly forgot about the cats. His fingers tightened around her hand as he looked at her with real love in his eyes and all of a sudden the cats were a problem for another day.

"Bedtime?" John asked her hopefully.

"Bedtime," Marlena agreed with a big smile, turning around and heading back towards John's room.

John stood there for a minute, enjoying watching her walk away from him.

"Home base," he said with a self satisfied smirk, "Here I come."

_Never a truer word spoken…_


	93. Chapter 93

**Chapter NINETY THREE**

"It's past midnight," noted Sami, looking over to the clock.

Sami looked back at EJ who was snuggled in next to her. They'd finally finished their shower, towelled each other off and after drying Sami's hair, fallen into bed together. After that they most have both dozed off for a bit but when Sami came awake again it was to find EJ propped up on one elbow and looking down at her adoringly.

"Merry Christmas Mr DiMera," she said, a big grin on her face.

"The merriest," agreed EJ with an answering giant smile on his face as he leant in and kissed Sami, lingering over the simple act, taking his time to savour her fully.

"What?" she asked him with a little laugh when he pulled back eventually and was looking at her with a kind of amazement, "What's that look for EJ?"

"I can't believe how happy I am," said EJ simply, looking completely in awe, "I didn't know a person could be this happy and not die from it Samantha. Every time I think I you can't possibly be any happier you seem to find a way to make it happen."

"I feel the same way," said Sami softly, touching his face, "This is going to be the best Christmas…ever."

"It already is," said EJ with great certainty, "We're having another baby Samantha… there is nothing that could make me more joyful or thankful then that."

EJ thought about that for a few seconds and then gave her a teasing look.

"Except for maybe you having two babies… or three," he said with a wink.

"Again with that?" asked Sami in exasperation and shook her head at him, feigning an annoyed look, "You'll get what you're given mister!"

"And I am perfectly aright with that," grinned EJ, moving in to nuzzle her neck, "As long as you and this baby or babies are healthy that's all I care about."

Sami gave a little smile at his heartfelt sentiment, feeling a flash of guilt over holding back the information of her anaemia from him but she didn't want to ruin these moments of pure bliss with such things. She was sure she was fine and that Lexie was just being overly dramatic - particularly now that Sami knew she was pregnant.

"Hey," said EJ with a curious look, tapping her nose lightly with one finger, "Where did you go just then sweetheart?"

"No where," said Sami quickly, "I was just thinking I've never been happier either EJ. We've just done our wedding right now at long last and now you're going to get the chance to be apart of this pregnancy in a way you weren't with the twins. It feels like everything is kind of going full circle - like we're getting this chance to have a huge do ever with our lives."

Sami pulled a rueful face then.

"Sorry," she said, "Did that sound kind of crazy then?"

"No," said EJ firmly, "That's exactly how I feel sweetheart - like fate has given us a second chance at everything."

They smiled at each other lovingly then until a suddenly mischievous look came over EJ's face.

"So which of our numerous bouts of lovemaking at the hotel sealed the deal so to speak do you think?" he asked her teasingly.

"EJ," said Sami in exasperation, rolling her eyes at his cheekiness.

"Do you think it was the first or second time in the elevator?" he pondered thoughtfully, a twinkle in his eyes, "Or maybe in the bath tub… or maybe when you threw me up against the wall and relieved my… discomfort… so we could go dancing?"

"We only had oral sex that time EJ," said Sami with a giggle, "Unless my high school science teacher was lying to me, you can't get pregnant that way."

"Oh right, we did too," said EJ sheepishly, "It was kind of a blur of endorphinic ecstasy for me at that time."

"Well all I know is that no child of mine is going to be conceived in an elevator!" huffed Sami, pretending disdain, "She was conceived in a beautiful, romantic act of love making in a bed."

"She?" he quirked his lips at her.

"A mother has a feeling about these kinds of things," said Sami with a definite nod, "We just know, it's like an internal radar."

"Really?" he said, looking at her in amusement, "Because up until a couple of hours ago you didn't even know you were going to be a mother again."

Sami gave him a dark look at his quite correct reasoning but her lips twitched wildly so she didn't exactly pull it off.

"Perhaps your radar was on the fritz?" suggested EJ innocently, "A bug in the wiring maybe?"

"I'll have you know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with my wiring EJ DiMera!" she said haughtily.

"Oh I know," purred EJ, his eyes drifting up and down her sheet covered body with a decidedly heated look, "I know."

"Stop looking at me like that you bad man," she said, feigning annoyance at him.

"Like what?" he asked her oh so innocently.

"You know how," she told him with a warning look.

EJ grinned at that and stole a quick kiss from her which quickly became two then three, then four. Finally he broke away from her, looking at her adoringly.

"I can't wait to see your body change and grow Samantha," he told her excitedly, his hand drifting over her flat stomach, "You have no idea."

"I have a bit of an idea," she said in amusement, "You're hanging out for my boobs to get bigger aren't you?"

"I have to say that during your last pregnancy there was a delightful extra… fullness… that I found to be most diverting," he agreed impishly.

EJ's fingers went to the sheet that covered her from him, a suddenly playful look on his face as he began to pull the sheet from her body.

"You're already a handful Samantha but I can't deny that I'm pretty excited to find out how I'll go with more than a handful," he told her mischievously.

"EJ!" she said, trying to look mad at him as she slapped his shoulder, "Can't you ever get enough?"

"Nope," he informed her quickly, "Never. Not with all this gorgeousness that is my wife lying beside me I can't."

His gaze became fixated on her breasts underneath the sheet then.

"You've been ignoring them," pouted Sami prettily, seeing where he was looking.

"I still owe you an orgasm," said EJ with a sultry smile, managing to drag his eyes from them, "Let's see what we can do about that hmm?"

He moved so that his body was half over hers and then pulled down the thin sheet that hid her from his view. EJ slowly dragged the sheet from her body then, revealing her to his avid gaze. The feeling of the sheet scratching over the top of Sami's nipples made them harden of their own accord and they sat up begging for EJ's attention which he didn't hesitate to give them.

"Hello my darlings," he purred at her exposed breast, "Daddy's home."

Sami couldn't help but giggle at that but then shook her head.

"EJ," she said in amusement, "I know you're very skilled at getting me to…"

"Come by just touching your breasts?" he asked sweetly and Sami flushed a little at that but nodded.

"Yes," she said ruefully.

"Don't be embarrassed sweetheart," he told her throatily, "It's as sexy as hell and nothing gets me harder knowing I can do that for you."

"I'd noticed," she said with a quirk of her lips, remembering how one of those encounters always ended up with him mounting her pretty forcefully and there was no other words for it… screwing her brains out, "But that is usually at the beginning of these kind of encounters and seeing as you've already…"

"Given you plenty to scream about?" he suggested cheekily when Sami faltered a little.

"Yes," she said dryly, "And then some… I just don't think I'm going to be able to ahh… come to the party on that one this time round so to speak."

"Well Mrs DiMera," said EJ throatily, "That sounds like a challenge if ever I heard one."

EJ ripped the last of the sheet away from her body and surveyed the bounty laid out in front of him with great interest. Sami expected him to go slowly and work her up again with slow, deliberate ministrations on her body but he caught her off guard when EJ suddenly cupped both of her breasts in his large hands and squeezed them hard, making her cry out. He didn't apologise for his roughness, simply gripping one breast tightly so her nipple was presented to him which he hungrily fastened on to, sucking the bud deeply into his mouth.

Sami gave a little groan at his vigour, her core becoming instantly damp because of it. She loved it when he was forceful like this and didn't he just know it. EJ eventually lifted his head, surveying his handiwork. Her teat stood at full attention, swollen and glistening from all of his attentions. Sami moved under him a little impatiently underneath him, eager to begin work on her other breast but he shook his head.

"Not yet sweetheart," he said, his voice roughened from his own arousal, "I think I may need a little help after all."

Mainly because his own arousal was becoming a pressing issue for EJ. He was fully erect again after simply having her breast in his mouth again and more than ready to mount her. But he'd set himself a task and EJ was trying his best to fulfil it… preferably before he just blew all over her thigh. The trouble was her breasts just drove him utterly mad with desire and it was pretty hard for him to hang onto his self control when it came to them.

"Touch yourself," he ordered her huskily and Sami bit her lip, happy to comply.

Her hand went to the breast he'd been worrying at, fingers gliding over the puckered flesh of her nipple and gave a pleased smile at how tender it felt.

"Ah ah," he corrected her, taking her hand and guiding it further down.

He pushed her hand between her legs and pressed it tightly against her.

"Touch yourself," he repeated the order, his voice low.

Sami gave a little smile, seeking out her bud which was waiting impatiently for her and beginning to rub on it steadily, encouraging it into ever greater stiffness just like EJ had done for her teat. EJ's hand went to one of her legs, pushing if further apart so he could watch her pleasuring herself for him properly. Sami began to make little purring noises, watching his eyes darken and become hooded as he became captivated by what she was doing. Just as Sami began to pick up the pace, her body demanding more as her breath became more ragged he stopped her.

"Enough," he said tightly, pulling on her wrist and removing her hand from between her legs.

"EJ," she began to complain but he'd already found her other breast, treating it to the same attention he'd given the other and Sami quickly lost the ability to speak beyond a few guttural noises.

Her core began to pulsate, tightening and releasing with growing intensity but Sami couldn't seem to make herself fall over that ledge into the bliss that she knew that was waiting for her. Her hand crept back down between her legs, needing to find her release now before she went crazy but EJ was too quick for her.

"NO!" he said sharply, releasing her breast briefly from his mouth to issue the command and pulling her hand away.

"Please EJ!" she choked, beginning to writhe under him, "I need to come… I can't stand it! PLEASE!"

Her begging almost made EJ lose is load and he knew he didn't have much longer so he decided to oblige her, giving up his goal temporarily and promising himself that he'd return to it at a later date.

"EJ please!" groaned Sami, beginning to throw her head from side to side, the frustration damn near killing her, "Please… please… pleAAAHHH!"

Sami cried out loudly as without warning EJ thrust three fingers deep inside of her. Sami bucked up, clenching hard around their length but he was quickly making her ride them before she could gather her senses and the orgasm she'd been so desperate for was finally there. She gritted her teeth against the intense flood of sensation, everything other than what her body was going through fading into nothingness. It was only when she'd managed to draw in a few ragged breaths of desperately needed oxygen did Sami realise that EJ had replaced his fingers with his swollen manhood and was urgently working for his own release inside of her, her orgasm having sent her into a complete oblivious delirium up until then.

Sami groaned tiredly, spent from her own release but as always, there was just something about the way he would take her that never failed to give her new reserves of energy when he was thrusting himself so frantically inside of her. She felt EJ suddenly tense and then there was the gratifying sensation of him shooting his seed into her and the gentle sensation caused another volley of spasms to rock Sami's body. EJ held himself above Sami with arms that shook from the effort, his body still pumping itself into hers and his jaw clenched against the gloriousness of her hungry walls milking more and more from his body.

"I love you!" Sami sobbed weakly, her body still shaking and jerking under his, pleasuring him endlessly.

"Samantha!" he cried out hopelessly, collapsing on top of her and kissing her deeply, "Oh god Samantha!"

**oooOOOOooo**

John lay in the bed, staring unseeingly up at the dark ceiling as a glowing Marlena snuggled in next to him. She looked at his expression and had to smile at the complete look of awe on his face.

"So was it what you expected John?" she asked him curiously as he turned his sweaty head to look at her.

"No," he rasped, blinking rapidly then.

"Oh," said Marlena a little uncertainly, "Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"

"I read in a book somewhere that climaxing is like sneezing," John informed her.

Marlena's lips quirked a little at that.

"I've sneezed before," said John, very seriously, "And either I'm doing the sneezing wrong or the climaxing because I've got to tell you Blondie… they are _nothing_ alike!"

"So you enjoyed it then?" she asked him with a smile, amused by his observations.

"No," said John flatly.

Marlena frowned at that and John clarified.

"I enjoy having a cigar," he told her, "I enjoy talking to the peacocks in the morning, I enjoy watching synchronised swimming…"

"You do?" asked Marlena in surprise.

"I like the nose plugs," nodded John calmly, "There is no way I just _enjoyed_ what happened between us Blondie… no way in hell!"

"Not the right word huh?" she asked with a twinkle in her eye.

"No," said John forcefully, "I'm going to have to make up a whole new word for how I feel about what just happened…"

John frowned then and seemed to be giving it serious thought and Marlena shook her head at him, watching him indulgently.

"Flumtingly," he announced finally.

"Flumtingly?" repeated Marlena sceptically.

"It's a cross between flummoxed and spine tingling," John informed her.

He looked her dead in the eye then, very serious.

"You flumtinglied my brains out Blondie and it was fansational!" he told her.

"Fansational?" asked Marlena, starting to get the giggles now.

"Fantastic and sensational all rolled into one," John informed her blithely and then looked at her questioningly, "Did… did you enjoy yourself?"

"No John," said Marlena seriously and John suddenly looked crestfallen, "It was superbsome and I was absolutely ecstalirious."

"Really?" asked John, brightening at that, "So ecstalirious that you might want to go again Blondie?"

"John we've already made love twice," said Marlena hesitantly, "Are you sure you're up for it?"

John ducked his head under the sheet and looked down at his crotch before looking back at Marlena.

"Pretty sure," he nodded, "How about you?"

"I guess I could be convinced," said Marlena, a slow smile spreading across her face, "If you play your cards right."

John leapt out of bed then and made a bee line for the door.

"John!" said Marlena in surprise, sitting up in bed, "Where are you going?"

"To get my cards," he said earnestly, "But I should warn you, I only remember how to play Gin Rummy."

"John," said Marlena with great affection as she shook her head at him, "Get back into bed…"


	94. Chapter 94

**Chapter NINETY FOUR**

**CHRISTMAS DAY…**

Sami woke slowly to the sensation of EJ's mouth on her breast and she opened her eyes to see his dark head attached to one teat, lavishing it with attention and could feel herself on the brink of orgasming as he treated her to the kind of attention she adored. Obviously he felt he had a point to prove after last night and he was showing himself to be more than up to the task of bringing her to climax just through his mouth on her breast this time round. Her core tightened and then she realised that he was already inside her, his thickness occupying her and the knowledge made her come violently around him in an instant.

"AHH!" EJ threw his head right back at the feeling of her walls convulsing wildly him, working hard to keep himself still inside of her.

He'd woken up next to this gorgeous woman and found he just couldn't bear not to be touching her. Her naked breasts had called to him like the siren song and even though Sami was still asleep she encouraged him with little mewing sounds and sighs as he suckled at her breast, teasing and tormenting her nipples into a pleasing stiffness, his labours causing a similar effect on his own body. When one of his hands found its way between her legs only to find her wet for him EJ was undone. It was an agony not to be inside her body so he'd moved himself over her, careful to keep all of his weight off her and mounted her in one aching motion. Sami had gasped in her sleep and made a pleasured groaning sound and EJ knew he was giving her sweet dreams. He forced himself to remain still inside of her, returning to her breasts and waiting for her to wake up, wanting her to be fully conscious in those last moments.

"EJ," she whispered shakily, her senses still spinning from her orgasm.

"Samantha," he said softly, starting to move inside of her.

Sami relaxed under him, enjoying the feeling of his hardness claiming her body over and over again. She put her hands up and cupped his face, looking deeply into his eyes.

The morning light streamed through the window, dancing across his handsome face and broad shoulders and Sami knew she could look at him forever and never tire of it. EJ had picked up his pace and Sami loved knowing him so well that she could tell he was very close to his end.

"Yes," she encouraged him throatily, "Yes EJ, keep going… don't stop sweetheart…"

EJ gave a long, low guttural noise, shuddering as he heaved himself into her one last desperate time and Sami sighed happily as she felt him flood her with his maleness yet again.

EJ rolled over, retaining his place inside of Sami and moving so now she was in top of him.

"Good morning," she smiled down at him, long hair trailing down and framing his face.

"Mm," EJ nodded happily, combing his fingers through her hair and holding it back from her face, "A _very_ good morning."

"I suppose we should get up," said Sami, with a little quirk of her lips.

"Absolutely," nodded EJ, not moving a muscle.

Sami put her head down on EJ's chest and sighed.

"It's Christmas," she pointed out.

"It will be Christmas all day," said EJ reasonably.

"That's true," nodded Sami against his chest.

Twenty minutes later EJ had finally managed to get himself out of bed and Sami smiled as she watched him walk around naked, looking for his pants.

Sami had had the foresight of bringing a change of clothes with them to their honeymoon suite.

"What's that smile for?" he asked her with a grin.

"Just checking out the merchandise," she said teasingly, "Very nice."

"I'm glad I meet with your approval sweetheart," he said with a laugh, pulling on his pants, "Because let me tell you - you're never getting rid of me now."

"Mm," said Sami with a smirk, "What if I want to upgrade at some point?"

"I guess I'm going to have to prove to you that I'm worthwhile keeping around eh darling?" he returned smoothly.

"I guess," sighed Sami, sitting up and pretending to be uninterested in that idea as she swung her legs over the side of the bed.

She stopped then and frowned a little.

"You feeling sick sweetheart?" asked EJ he asked with concern, walking over to her.

"I don't think so," said Sami, trying to decide.

"Have you had any morning sickness before now?" he asked her, crouching down in front of her and putting his hands on her knees as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"I've been too busy for that kind of thing," Sami admitted with a quirk of her lips, "No time."

"I didn't realise that was how it works," said EJ with a little laugh.

"Yeah well," shrugged Sami ruefully.

"I thought you had to eat something before you got up to make sure that you didn't get sick," said EJ, tilting his head at her and looking at Sami closely, "Are you sure you're not feeling sick sweetheart?"

Sami wrinkled her nose, thinking about that.

"Nope," she said and then gave EJ a cheeky grin, "Looks like early morning sex also seems to do the trick for me."

"Well it certainly did the trick for me," EJ informed her straight faced.

"You do realise what this means don't you EJ?" asked Sami, looking very serious all of a sudden.

"I'm thinking I do," grinned EJ, "But I'd rather like to hear you say it my darling."

"Well it looks like I'm going to be requiring your services every morning EJ," noted Sami coyly.

"Is that right?" asked EJ, looking at her with great interest.

"Well seeing as you're the reason I'm in this condition I think it is the least you can do EJ," said Sami looking at him challengingly.

"You make a valid point my darling," nodded EJ thoughtfully, "So I supposed I'd better make sure and do my duty then - like a good husband."

EJ tried to make it sound like it would be a trial but the devilish glint in his eyes suggested otherwise.

"So EJ," said Sami sweetly, looking down at him as he was still crouched in front of her, "While you're down there… you may as well start as you intend to go on."

"But I thought we had to go downstairs sweetheart?" pointed out EJ reasonably.

"It's Christmas all day EJ," she revisited his own logic on him.

"So it is," he agreed with a deep chuckle, his hands sliding up from her knees to Sami's thighs, pushing them apart, "So it is."

Sami gave a happy groan as EJ's knelt before her and buried his head between her thighs. Sami leant back on the bed, supporting herself with one arm while her other hand buried it's fingers into his dark brown hair, holding him tightly to her. His tongue sort out her nub, flicking and teasing it before drawing it into his mouth, teeth grazing the sensitive peak. Sami moaned loudly, her body responding to his ministrations in an instant. They'd made love all night and not even half an hour ago but Sami wanted more, could never seem to get enough of him.

"Oh yes!" she hissed, as his tongue quickly bought her towards her end.

Sami threw back her head, giving a prolonged moan as she felt one of his long fingers begin to plumb her depths, finding that spot inside of her that made Sami lose all reason.

"EJ… EJ… EJ…" she said his name mindlessly, her breath nothing more than desperate panting noises now.

The sound of his name on her lips like that was too much for EJ. He pushed down his sweat pants with one hand before sliding his hands up behind Sami's knees and lifting them up. His action caused Sami to have to lie back down on the bed as EJ guided her knees to her chest, keeping his hands on the backs of her legs and holding her in position. Sami shuddered to see him fully engorged again already - they were as bad as each other! Sami was presented to him in all her glory in the position he had her in and EJ took full advantage, plunging his rigid, swollen length into her. Sami was so very tender from all of their lovemaking of that night and morning and she cried out, a strange mix of pleasure and pain bombarding her senses.

"Can I keep going?" asked EJ raggedly, seeing her face tense up a little as he penetrated her, "Am I hurting you sweetheart?"

He too was feeling decidedly sensitive in one area in particular but he couldn't seem to stop himself from wanting to claim this woman over and over again. Sami propped herself up on her elbows and looked up at EJ, the action making her walls clench harder around his distended manhood and forcing EJ to swallow a loud moan.

"I don't care EJ," she panted, "Just make me come!"

"Yes!" he grunted triumphantly and began to do just that, pounding himself into her body and making them both forget about any tenderness that they might be suffering from.

Their bodies quickly adjusted to one another and then there was only the drive to bring each other to completion, nothing else mattered. Sami's fingernails dug into EJ's forearms as he rode her hard, the sensations mounting in her body as once again EJ managed to drive her relentlessly towards her next climax.

"Samantha!" he gritted out between clenched teeth, fine beads of sweat appearing across the bridge of his nose as he laboured away inside of her.

Too many climaxes over such a short period of time ensured that this was going to take awhile and Sami lay back on the bed and surrendered herself to the sweet torture of what EJ was doing to her body.

**oooOOOOooo**

At long last EJ and Sami emerged from their room, the twins being the only real reason that they'd managed it at all in the end. EJ closed the door behind them and then took Sami's hand unwilling to not be touching her for the entire trip back down the two flights of stairs. His fingers tangled in hers and she smiled up at him.

"You are soo lucky that today is Christmas day young lady," he told her teasingly, pressing his lips against her ear as they walked along, "Otherwise there was no way in God's green earth that I was going to let you out of that bed today."

"That's funny," said Sami with a giggle, "I was going to say the same thing to you."

EJ looked down at Sami's face that was literally glowing in the morning light and his heart gave a painful lurch at how much he loved her.

"You are absolutely radiant this morning my love," he told her, unable to tear his eyes away from her, "Being pregnant definitely agrees with you."

"Having my husband back in my bed where he belongs agrees with me," Sami corrected him impishly and tightened her hold on his hand, "Promise me you'll never let me talk you into doing anything like that abstinence thing again EJ! I mean, last night was simply…"

"Magical… life altering… beyond exquisite?" offered up EJ helpfully with a big grin.

"Yes," agreed Sami, unable to help the answering smile on her face, "But I don't want to wake up in our bed alone ever again. I've missed you so much this last month, it was just awful."

"Don't worry sweetheart," said EJ determinedly, "I don't care how naked you are or how spectacular your breasts might look… if you ever ask me to go without you voluntarily for that long again the answer is going to be no!"

EJ said that last part with such vehemence that Sami couldn't help but giggle again. They were at Marlena's door then and Sami stopped walking, looking up at EJ.

"I want to go and wish Mom Merry Christmas," she told EJ.

"No!" said EJ sharply as her hand went to her mother's bedroom door knob.

Sami looked up at him in surprise, taken aback by his forceful reluctance.

"Do you think it is still too early?" Sami quizzed him, looking down at her watch.

It was just past seven and it was unlikely that even the twins were up yet.

"It's not that," said EJ with a bit of a grimace.

"EJ?" she pushed him, seeing the look on his face.

"I have somewhat of a confession to make Samantha," he said sheepishly, "I discovered something last night and then in the heat of the moment I kind of… let it slide somewhat."

"What did you let slide?" asked Sami in confusion, frowning up at him.

"Your mother's room is full of cats," EJ told her straight faced.

"What does _that_ mean?" asked Sami, looking totally bewildered now.

"It means your mother's room is full of cats," said EJ stoically.

"Cats?" repeated Sami.

"Yes cats," nodded EJ, "You know… meow… nine lives… whiskers… cats."

"Why?" asked Sami, totally bemused.

"I'm going to take a wild stab in the dark and say the answer to that question in my uncle," said EJ ruefully.

"But why would John put cats in my mother's room?" asked Sami, totally confused.

"I'm uncertain sweetheart," said EJ wryly, "Perhaps we should ask the seven… sorry eight peacocks and six flamingo's in our back garden?"

"Do you think Mom slept in there?" asked Sami, still trying to piece it all together.

"It's unlikely darling," said EJ with a shake of his head, "There were a lot of cats."

"How many is a lot?" asked Sami with a frown.

"More than Clarisse and I could count at a glance," said EJ with a chuckle.

"Who's Clarisse?" asked Sami with a scowl, momentarily forgetting about the cats as a stab of jealousy ran through her at the mention of another woman's name on EJ's lips.

"Anna's little Pomeranian," EJ said in amusement, "Remember, I told you that we were going to look after her for the night so Tony could surprise her with the dog for Christmas?"

"Oh right," said Sami, blushing slightly which only made EJ find her even more appealing, "Well we can't leave cats locked up in a room forever - it's cruel. We'll have to let them out."

"I'm don't know if that is the best idea sweetheart," said EJ with an arched eyebrow, "There are a lot of cats."

Sami shook her head at his reservations and opened the door, thinking he was being overly dramatic. After all exactly how many cats could John think was alright to put in one room together in all good conscience? Sami's jaw dropped as she walked into the room and saw all the cats littered around the room.

"E… EJ?" she stammered, hardly able to believe her eyes.

"Like I said sweetheart," said EJ mildly, "There is a _lot_ of cats."

Sami turned around on the spot slowly but everywhere she looked there were cats and more cats. EJ began to count them, just as a matter of interest.

"Fifteen… sixteen… seventeen…"

Sami shook her head as EJ continued to count and walked further into the room, still trying to work out what could have possibly possessed John to do such a thing.

"Twenty!" announced EJ triumphantly, "Twenty cats… oh my god what _was_ he thinking?! The weird thing is I know Uncle John will actually have some twisted, convoluted and perfectly logical, in a bizarre kind of way, reason for doing this."

EJ shook his head.

"Twenty cats," muttered EJ again, shaking his head.

"Ah actually you might want to do a recount EJ," said Sami ruefully, who had crouched down beside Marlena's bed, "Look."

EJ came up behind Sami and looked down to where she was indicating. Sami pulled down the sheet and on the bed was a tiny ball of white fluff - a kitten, obviously only born hours ago, it's tiny eyes still firmly closed.

"Oh my god _and_ they're multiplying!" exclaimed EJ in exasperation.

"Oh EJ!" cooed Sami, scooping up the tiny creature and cuddling it to her, "It's soo gorgeous!"

"So where is mum then?" asked EJ, not willing to buy into the cuteness thing until he found out exactly how much 'cuteness' there was to be overjoyed about.

EJ moved to the other side of Marlena's bed and crouched down.

"Bingo," he said, seeing the mother cat curled up with the rest of her kitten, "Looks like we have the culprit here."

"Don't be so mean EJ," said Sami, coming up behind him, still cuddling the little white newborn, "She's just given birth."

The tabby was fast asleep as the remaining kittens suckled from her and Sami frowned down at the little kitten she was holding.

"I wonder how you managed to get all the way up there little fella?" asked Sami, looking back at the bed, knowing the kitten could barely move let alone climb up the bed.

"Perhaps the mum moved it there or one of the other cats," shrugged EJ, doing a quick head count, "Well including Sir Edmund Hilary that you've got there that brings the total up to twenty one full grown cats and six kittens - twenty seven cats in total!"

"It's a Christmas miracle," said Sami with a grin, the tiny kitten's melting her heart.

"I'm doubtful Marlena will see it that way when she sees the condition of her coverlet," said EJ wrinkling his nose and practical as ever.

The mother cat must have dragged it off the bed to lie on to give birth because the white satin looked decidedly worse for wear. Sami meanwhile had reluctantly put little Sir Edmund back down to be with his litter mates and more importantly, where the milk was flowing freely.

"It's a sign EJ," said Sami happily, straightening up and going to stand beside him as they both down look at the contented scene, "That this new year is going to be a bountiful one."

"It's a sign it's time I started looking into psychiatric institutes to send my uncle to," said EJ wryly, putting an arm around Sami's waist, before looking down at Sami with a twinkle in his eyes, "But maybe you're right sweetheart - maybe it is a sign. Mama cat here just gave birth to six little babies… you're pregnant so maybe it's a foreshadowing of a multiple birth for you as well?"

He looked as Sami teasingly as she put her arm around his waist then and leaned into him, smiling up at him sweetly.

"And if I had six nipples then that might not be such a problem EJ," she said, pretending to be annoyed and held up an imperious finger as EJ opened his mouth to respond to that, "Enough! It's Christmas day - we are going to keep the smutty talk to a minimum EJ DiMera!"

"That's a shame," said EJ with a grin, bending his head and nuzzling her ear.

His hot breath tickled Sami's ear and she had to admit… that was a bit of shame.


	95. Chapter 95

**Chapter NINETY FIVE**

"We have to bring them more food later," said Sami as they closed the door behind them.

She and EJ had just changed all of the cats water bowls and surprisingly they all seemed happy enough to stay put.

"And we have to find a place for them all," said Sami, "They can't stay in Mom's room forever."

"I know," nodded EJ thoughtfully, "Maybe we can divide them up over a couple of rooms? Or even let them go outside… although catching them all again could be a bit of a buggar."

"Not if we put food down," reasoned Sami as they headed towards the twins room to see if their children were awake yet.

"You're probably right," agreed EJ absently.

They had just about gotten to John's room when he suddenly walked out of his room.

"Uncle John," said EJ calmly, "Merry Christmas."

He had meant to go on and ask about the cats in Marlena's room but that question quickly went from his mind when Marlena appeared from behind John, dressed only in his dress shirt from the night before.

"Mom!" gasped Sami, her eyes wide as it was quite clear what had gone on last night between her and John.

"Oh hello dear," said Marlena, flushing a little but remaining calm, "I checked on the twins an hour ago but they were still sound asleep and there hasn't been a peep since."

She handed the baby monitor she was holding to Sami who still looked a little shell shocked.

"We had sex!" announced John triumphantly to the question no one asked.

"John!" said Marlena in exasperation, "We talked about this remember - we were going to keep this to ourselves for the time being."

"I thought you meant that thing I did with my tongue and this finger," said John, holding up his right pinky.

"Oh," groaned Sami faintly, grabbing onto EJ for support.

"I meant the whole thing John," said Marlena, trying to maintain her dignity which she managed of course, the only sign of her discomfort was the heightened colour to her cheeks.

"Oh," said John, pursing his lips before looking back at EJ and Sami, "In that case we didn't have sex."

"Actually I think the horse may have bolted on that one Uncle," said EJ wryly.

EJ looked down at Sami who was still clinging to him and looking decidedly stunned.

"Well thank you for looking after the twins for us Marlena," said EJ smoothly, seeing as the power of speech seemed to have left Sami for the time being, "We'll just go and check on them and let you get on with your morning."

"Good," said John bluntly, "Cause I was hoping not to have sex again this morning."

Sami whimpered and EJ smiled brightly, moving them both on and out of the line of fire. It was just too early for John he decided. They made it to the twins room to find that both the twins were awake, sitting up in their cots and chatting away to one another happily.

"Merry Christmas you two!" exclaimed Sami, hurrying over to give both her children a big hug and a kiss.

The sight of Ali and Johnny helped distract Sami from the unwanted revelations of John a few minutes ago. Both EJ and Sami fussed over the twins, playing with them and getting them dressed for the day.

"We'll dress them properly for Christmas lunch later," said Sami, pulling out a little matching out fit for Johnny as EJ changed his diaper, "Otherwise they are going to be filthy when everyone arrives - they always make such a mess at breakfast."

"There is a certain gusto factor to the way you two eat isn't there?" agreed EJ, tickling Johnny's toes and making him laugh.

Once dressed the four of them headed down the stairs, Sami carrying Ali and EJ carrying Johnny.

"Can you believe that about Mom and John?" asked Sami as they descended the stairs and headed towards the kitchen, finally obviously able to talk about it.

"They are married sweetheart," EJ reminded her gently, "Married people are allowed to have sex remember."

"I know," said Sami with a rueful sigh, "And I'm happy for them but it's just a little…"

"Confronting?" suggested EJ, trying not to grimace at the thought of the conversations that were likely to be in his future with his uncle.

The phone rang then, distracting them both.

"I'll get it," said EJ, turning back round with Johnny and heading back down the hallway to the foyer, "You keep going darling."

Ali and Sami continued on into the kitchen while EJ answered the phone in the foyer.

"Hello?"

A smile came to EJ's lips.

"And Merry Christmas to you too Tony," he replied, "Yes… she's fine… not so much as a whimper. We'll have Clarisse all ready to go when you arrive with Anna… yes… see you then."

EJ hung up and then gave a little grimace.

"I guess we'd better go and check that Dunk took good care of little Clarisse last night eh Johnny?" he said, "But first we'll have some breakfast - how does that…"

EJ's last words stalled as he looked up to see Rolf walking down the stairs and behind him, none other than Ursula. It was clear they'd spent the night together and Ursula had been trying to make a discrete getaway.

"Merry Christmas, Rolf… Ursula," said EJ cordially, not letting his expression change one bit.

"Zame to you Elvis," replied Rolf calmly.

"Merry Christmas Mr DiMera," said Ursula, looking a little uncomfortable at being caught out.

"We are all about to have breakfast in the kitchen," said EJ graciously, wanting to put the older woman at ease, "We'd love it if you joined us Ursula."

"Oh no," said Ursula quickly, with a shake of her head, "I couldn't do that."

"You'd be more than welcome," said EJ with a smile, "Rolf - why don't you convince Ursula to stay for breakfast?"

"I have to get home," said Ursula, "My sons are coming over to have Christmas breakfast with me."

"Well that sounds lovely," said EJ warmly, "I won't hold you up any longer then. Lovely to see you Ursula and once again can I just say how delighted Samantha and I were with your catering of our wedding. We'll be pleased to give you glowing references if you should ever need it."

"Thank you Mr DiMera," touched by his words and the way he was treating her with such respect.

"Come on you," said EJ, addressing his son playfully, "We've got some honey on toast calling our name."

With a last smile at Rolf and Ursula EJ walked unhurriedly back down the hallway, heading for the kitchen.

"Well Johnny," said EJ in a quiet aside to his son, "Looks like there is life in the old dog yet eh?"

Johnny grinned back at EJ, not understanding but finding it amusing when Daddy whispered like that.

**oooOOOOooo**

Sami meanwhile had gone on into the kitchen with Ali to start breakfast and the first thing she saw was Eric at the stove.

"Oh hey you," she said with a smile.

Eric started violently and turned around and flashed her a nervous smile.

"Oh hey Sami, Ali," he said, shooting a quick look at the door that lead out into the living room, "Ah… Merry Christmas you guys."

"Same to you," said Sami, eyeing him a little suspiciously, "What's up with you - you look weird."

"No I don't," said Eric, straightening up and looking defensive, "I just… just slept funny."

"Okay," said Sami, holding up a hand to him, "No need to get all huffy there - just saying is all."

"You know why don't I make you guys breakfast in bed?" offered Eric, too brightly.

"But we're not in bed anymore," pointed out Sami reasonably, "What is this Eric - why are you being all nervous and fidgety?"

"There is nothing wrong with me," said Eric with a pout, "Why are you being all accusatory?! You make it sound like I've done something wrong?!"

"No I'm not," protested Sami in exasperation, confused why Eric was being so antsy, "I was just…"

"Well they're not there," announced Nicole blithely, throwing open the door into the kitchen and sailing through, "I don't know where they… oh… it's you."

Sami drew in her second dismayed gasp of the morning, quickly putting her hand over Ali's eyes to protect her from the sight of Nicole only dressed in a t-shirt of Eric's.

"Well I guess that answers the question about what you've done wrong," said Sami bitingly, "Or rather _who_ you've done!"

"Now sis…" began Eric, trying to calm Sami down before she went nuclear.

"And what were you looking for in my living room exactly?" raged Sami, not giving Eric a chance to finish.

"Shoes."

"Earrings."

Nicole and Eric answered at the same time but unfortunately they hadn't had time to get their story's straight.

Sami arched a disbelieving eye at that, glaring at them both.

"Ah screw it," said Nicole with an unconcerned shrug, "My underwear."

"Your underwear?" repeated Sami in horror, "Somewhere out there… where my children play… are your crusty knickers Nicole?!"

"My underwear isn't crusty!" said Nicole, offended.

"Oh right," sneered Sami, "It's not like you can keep them on long enough for that to ever happen!"

"Ladies, ladies," said Eric, holding up both hands trying to calm them down, "Why don't we just…"

"Shut up Eric!"

Both of them snapped the command at Eric who pulled a face and sat down at the breakfast table, deciding to keep his head down.

"I can't believe you slept with Nicole Eric!" said Sami in horror.

"To be fair we actually stayed awake more than we slept," smirked Nicole, enjoying Sami's obvious outrage.

"Sami I'm a grown man," said Eric firmly, "I can sleep with whomever I choose - I don't need your permission."

"But _her_!" Sami spat out the word and pulled a face that looked like she'd thrown up a little in her mouth as she said it, "Why Nicole of all people?! She broke your heart once Eric - why would you want to have anything to do with her? What possessed you?!"

"Admittedly the end of last night was a bit blurry but I'm sure I had a good reason!" said Eric defensively.

"You will never guess who got lucky last night…" said EJ, walking into the kitchen and wanting to share his news about Rolf.

He stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Nicole standing there, Eric looking a little put upon and a fuming Sami.

"Ahh… never mind," he said quickly, "On second thoughts it can wait."

"I don't know who got lucky but I can tell you who got _un_lucky!" bit out Sami, putting Ali in her high chair who was looking a bit bemused by the tone her mother was using.

"Sweetheart, Eric and Nicole are both adults and it is none of our business how they spend their time," said EJ reasonably, putting Johnny in the high chair beside Ali.

"That's what I said," said Eric triumphantly, "Thank you EJ."

"Yes thank you EJ," said Sami sarcastically, glaring at him unhappily, "But this has nothing to do with you!"

"Technically my love this has nothing to do with you either," he corrected her calmly, taking his life in his hands with that last statement.

"Eric is my brother!" exclaimed Sami in annoyance.

"Yes your brother, not your child," agreed EJ, trying to reason with her.

"I hope you enjoyed last night mister because if you keep going like this then that is the last you're going to be getting of anything even remotely like it for a long time!" growled Sami, unhappy at this turn of events.

"Well it looks like the honeymoon is over," noted Eric ruefully, looking up at EJ, "Sorry man."

"How did it even happen?" asked Sami in despair.

"Not that it is any of your business Sami but Eric threw up on me," began Nicole, still looking none too pleased about it, "And I had to change out of my clothes…"

"And so you ended up sleeping together?" asked Sami in horror, "What, is being vomited on like foreplay for you Nicole??!"

"I'd just like to remind everyone that we have two, small impressionable children in the room and that it is Christmas," said EJ mildly, handing a piece of banana to Ali and a slice of apple to Johnny.

"First Mom and John and now this," grumbled Sami, "We should have just gone and gotten the twins and stayed in our room for the rest of the day EJ."

"Mom and John?" repeated Eric, this being new to him.

"And Rolf and Ursula," nodded EJ to which everyone looked at him in surprise, "The woman who ran the catering service last night."

"Really?" said Sami in disbelief, "Last time I saw them they were fighting!"

"That's often how it starts," mused Eric, almost to himself.

"Oh Eric," said EJ, suddenly remembering his phone call, "Whilst you were ah… entertaining… what did you do with Clarisse?"

"Clarisse?" said Nicole, looking at Eric suspiciously, "Who's Clarisse."

"Another bitch that found its way into Eric's bedroom," said Sami with a saccharine sweet smile at Nicole.

"Samantha!" chided EJ lightly, shooting her a warning look, "Anna's Pomeranian - remember Eric, I told you last night that I was going to put her in your room and you said it was okay."

"Oh yeah," said Eric, his brow scrunching up as he tried to remember, "Again… a bit hazy but I don't remember her being there when I went up."

"Nicole?" frowned EJ, starting to worry now about the whereabouts of the little dog that had been entrusted into his care.

"Nope," she shrugged, "I didn't see a dog."

"Oh," said Sami, starting to get worried now too, "You don't suppose Clarisse managed to find her way into Mom's room somehow EJ?"

"What's so bad about going into Mom's room?" asked Eric, bewildered by the serious looks EJ and Sami were exchanging.

"Let's just say that in its current state it is no fit place for a little dog," said EJ wryly.

"You don't suppose Smokey might have done something do you?" asked Eric, joining in on the worrying.

"Why would he?" asked Sami in confusion.

"Ahh…" Eric hesitated, realising he may have given a little too much away, "No reason! Forget I said anything."

Rolf walked into the kitchen again and EJ turned his attention to the older man.

"Rolf have you seen Clarisse in your wanderings this morning?" asked EJ with a bit of a frown.

"Oh ya," nodded Rolf easily, "She is in za living room verhätschelnd."

"Thank goodness," sighed EJ in relief, "I was beginning to… wait… with whom Rolf?"

"With whom what?" asked Sami, not understanding German like her husband did.

EJ looked confused but Rolf had already headed on back out the kitchen so that left the rest of them to investigate. EJ and Sami both picked up a twin again and headed out into the living room. Sure enough Clarisse was there, up on one of the sofas but she wasn't alone.

"Huh," said EJ, taking in the surprising sight, "I guess Rolf was right, she is verhätschelnd… with Roger… she and Roger are cuddling."

It appeared that Roger and Clarisse at some point in the night had discovered one another and taken quite a shine to each other. Roger had Clarisse up on the sofa, his arms wrapped around her, snuggling into her fluffy fur and Clarisse didn't seem to mind. She wagged a piece of fluff that was probably her tail at them when she saw them.

"Well whatever floats your boat I suppose," said Nicole with a shrug, taking in the comical but still very cute sight.

"Oh they're in love," sighed Sami, with a big smile at the sweet sight.

"Oh yeah," snipped Nicole, "A monkey and a Pomeranian get it on and it's love - Eric and I do it and you'd think we'd started selling kidneys on the black market together!"

"Shut up Nicole," said Sami flatly, not taking her eyes off the two animals as Roger began to groom Clarisse now, picking at her fur.

"My only question is…" said Eric, watching as fascinated as everyone else was, "Do we call their offspring Pomkeys or Monkeranians?"

"My only question is who is going to tell Anna that her beloved Clarisse has fallen for someone on the wrong side of the species track?" commented EJ idly.

A raucous series of peacock cries then turned everyone's attention at last from the cute couple and they all went to the window to see what the noise was about. Smokey was outside, his ragged plumage in full display as he strutted his stuff for the latest member of the family.

"What is wrong with that peacock?" asked Sami, squinting to see properly the bird Smokey was putting on a show for because it seemed to be missing all of its tail feathers.

"What's wrong with it is that it's a peahen," said John, suddenly appearing behind them, "Would someone care to explain how a peahen made it into the ostentation?"

"Actually," said EJ with a bright smile, "It's a rather cute story and you'll laugh… hopefully… when I tell it."

Smokey gave another cry and then leapt on top of the peahen and began to do what male peacocks do with peahens when the opportunity arises.

"Ohh," said Sami as she and EJ quickly covered the twins eyes again, "He might be a fighter but I'm not sure he's much of a lover with that technique!"

"Now that is something I could have definitely lived without seeing first thing Christmas morning," commented EJ dryly.

"Or any morning," nodded Eric.

"Well this place is veritable love shack this morning isn't it?" commented Nicole casually.

"What are you all looking at?" asked Marlena, walking into the room whilst putting her earrings on.

"Peacocks having sex," said Nicole bluntly.

"We don't have any peahens," said Marlena, looking a bit uncertain at that information.

"We didn't," said John, smiling and walking over to her, "But we do now."

"Why?" asked Marlena, still looking confused as John slipped his arm around her waist.

"Apparently it's a cute story," said Eric, tongue in cheek and looking at EJ teasingly.

"Yes what was the reason you bought a peahen EJ?" asked Sami, looking at EJ with interest.

"Why not?" asked EJ brightly, trying a tactic his uncle often seemed to get away with.

"You're going to have to do better than that EJ," said Sami, arching an eyebrow at him.

"Right," said EJ slowly, pursing his lips, "Like I said, funny story…"


	96. Chapter 96

**Chapter NINETY SIX**

As EJ and Sami were hosting the Brady Christmas lunch it was organised that everyone would be heading back to the mansion after they all attended church that morning. This would give them enough time for everyone to open their presents and then Christmas lunch would be next. Caroline, Bo, Hope, Ciara, Roman, Steve, Kayla, little Joe, Tony, Anna, Lexie, Abe and Theo were all attending and on the guest list also was Joseph who hadn't had any particular plans so it went without question that he should be there as well. Everything was more or less set up by the caterers last night in the marquee that had served as the wedding reception along with all the food already being prepared by the same so it was just a matter of heating up the hot things and serving.

EJ had had the foresight to organise such things seeing as he knew everyone was going to be pretty well spent after the wedding but it was something he'd really wanted to do. He'd never had the big family Christmas and now that his in laws weren't spitting on him or trying to put him in jail EJ thought it was a perfect time to celebrate that fact and Christmas at the same time. Breakfast was done and Sami and EJ had dressed themselves and the twins all ready to go to church and were entertaining them in the living room. Nicole had gone back upstairs to change into her dress that she'd washed out the night before.

"So Uncle," said EJ, bracing himself for this conversation as he handed a block to Ali, "Enquiring minds want to know… what's with all the cats in Marlena's room exactly?"

"It was a romantic gesture," said John proudly, moving in closer to Marlena.

"Is that right?" asked EJ dryly, looking between the two of them, "Well I don't know if you know this or not but your romantic gesture just dropped a litter of kittens at some point last night."

"It did?" asked Marlena, looking a little distressed by that information.

"Aha," nodded EJ calmly and then gave her a rueful look, "You'll be needing new bed linen unfortunately Marlena."

"Oh great," groaned Marlena.

"So John," said Eric, joining in on the conversation, "What's romantic about a roomful of cats?"

"It was a memento of one of Marlena's favourite musicals - 'Cats'," said John, still very pleased with himself for thinking of it, "One cat to match each of the main characters in the show."

"Thank god Mom's favourite play isn't the 'Elephant Man' then," said Eric with a roll of his eyes.

"I was tossing up between that musical or the first play that we ever saw together," mused John thoughtfully.

EJ's brow wrinkled at that as he realised what that was.

"Uncle John you took Marlena to see the Vagina Monologues," EJ reminded him hesitantly, his hand going distractedly to the back of his head.

"I know," nodded John calmly, "I wasn't really sure how to fill the room with vaginas… although I had a couple of ideas…"

"Stop!" ordered Sami loudly, scowling fiercely at John before he could go any further, "This is Christmas John! There is no talking about vagina's on Christmas day!"

"So what day is an acceptable day to talk about them I wonder?" asked Eric curiously, unable to help himself teasing his sister.

"Vagina Day," said John knowingly.

There was this deathly silence as everyone just stared at John, lost for words.

"John," squeaked Marlena faintly.

"What?" frowned John with how they were all looking at him, "It's in February."

"I think you mean Valentine's Day Uncle John," said EJ finally, grimacing while Sami drew in a sharp breath, too shocked to speak.

"Are you sure?" asked John, frowning a little, "I've seen those bears hugging the hearts that say 'Happy Vagina Day'."

"I am _very_ sure and we are _definitely_ getting your eyes checked in the new year!" said EJ in exasperation.

"Well Valentine's Day doesn't make any sense if I understand the celebration correctly," said John in confusion, "Don't men send woman gifts and stuff all so they can get into their v…"

EJ slapped the back of John's head then, resorting to physical violence to stop him from finishing that sentence.

"You know," chortled Eric, "John does have a point - they should rename it Vagina Day - truth in advertising and all."

Eric's reward from his observations was a slap up the back of his head from his twin then, the same as John had received from EJ.

"This is Christmas - I forbid anyone else to say _that_ word again today?!" said Sami, her voice raising as she grew more and more upset.

"What word?" asked Nicole blithely, walking in on the end of that conversation.

"Vagina," John informed her casually.

"Mom!" said Sami in despair, looking to her mother for a little help.

"John," said Marlena determinedly, "It is inappropriate to talk about female genitalia in polite company."

"But we're family," pointed out John with a shrug.

"Which actually makes it even more disturbing," noted EJ ruefully.

"So is this what one of those famous Brady Christmas' is all about?" asked Nicole mockingly, "You all sitting around the kitchen table and talking about hoo hoo's? Well that certainly isn't what I imagined but it sure makes you all more interesting all of a sudden."

The doorbell sounded then and everyone cried out as one.

"ROLF!"

"Wow," noted Nicole mockingly, "Lurch must love it when you all do that!"

"That's probably Joseph," said Sami, glancing at her watch, "He said he'd be around earlier to help set up for the present giving before we all go to church."

Sami gave a happy grin then.

"He's volunteered to be Santa and give out the presents today," she informed them.

"That should be interesting," said EJ with a laugh, "Joseph as Santa… I wonder what that would look like?"

"Whatever it looks like I know Santa's probably going to have kick ass boots!" said Eric with a smirk, knowing well Joseph's love for fine shoes.

"Oh shoot," said Nicole with a frown, "I left my purse up in your Eric - I'll be right back."

"Don't hurry on our account," said Sami with a sweet smile.

"Hello Legs," smiled Joseph as he passed Nicole, "Fancy seeing you here."

Joseph had a devilish twinkle in his eye as he said that.

"Fruit boy," nodded Nicole, not pausing.

"You knew what they were up to and you didn't put a stop to it Joe?" asked Sami in horror.

"Oh honey," said Joseph blithely, sailing into the room, "It's against my code of ethics to stop anyone from getting' some lovin'! Mo Mo… Black Bear…"

He kissed both Marlena and John hello then.

"We had sex!" announced John, still pretty happy about that fact.

"Oh good for you honey bunny!" said Joseph, clapping his hands together delightedly, "How was it?"

"Not like sneezing," said John casually.

"Well… good then…" said Joseph, a little uncertain of what the correct response to that was as he hugged and kiss Sami, EJ and Eric.

"Lolly… my Blonde kitten… Boo… Merry Christmas my darlings," he said each ones name and they all hugged and kissed him back, wishing him the same.

Finally Joseph had made it to the twins and they tottered over excitedly to see their Aunty Joe.

"My little ducklings!" he cooed at them, crouching down and giving them both a cuddle at the same time, "Guess what my loves… Santa's coming to visit today!"

The children looked suitably excited by that fact but mainly because Joseph was being so animated about it.

"John we'd better get organised for church," Marlena prompted him as they weren't really dressed yet as she smiled at everyone, "We'll be back in a minute."

Marlena headed out of the room and John gave a pleased smirk.

"The woman's insatiable," he informed them, following her out of the room.

"Is it just me or has this Christmas had the most sex of any I can remember?!" asked Eric in bemusement.

"Thank you for organising Santa for us Aunty Joe," said Sami, sending Eric a warning glare and changing the subject.

"No problem Kitty," said Joseph with an excited wave of his hand, "The big guy and I are like this!"

Joseph crossed his fingers then to demonstrate and winked at her.

"So I have a question," said Eric, tongue in cheek, "Is it only the children that gets to sit on Santa's lap today?"

"Oh honey," said Joseph, batting his eyes at Eric, "I have a feeling Santa's lap will always have a place for your taunt buttocks."

"Okay enough!" said Sami with a cutting motion of her hands, "I've had to deal with Mom and John having… well, Mom and John… and you and the seven eleven…"

Everyone looked at Sami in confusion at that.

"You know… open all hours for business," said Sami with a smirk.

"Samantha," said EJ warningly, "If you don't have something nice to say could you please not say anything at all?"

"No," said Sami flatly.

"Excuse me darlings," said Joseph, interjecting Sami's tirade, "But what is going on there exactly?"

He pointed to Roger and Clarisse who were still sitting together, Roger having pulled Clarisse onto his lap and not seeming to be interested in letting her go.

"Roger and Clarisse have taken a shine to one another," said EJ with a shrug.

"Is there something in the water here?" asked Joseph in consternation, "And if so can I take a few bottles to go?"

"Nicole's taking her time," noted Eric, "I'd better check everything is alright."

"I spilt some wine on the hallway carpet last night," said Sami dourly, "She's probably face down on the ground trying to suck out the alcohol."

The three men looked at her with expressions ranging from amusement to disapproval.

"The woman sleeps with men who _vomit_ on her!" exclaimed Sami in her defence.

"I'll be right back," said Eric with a shake of his head.

"Do you know what I think a nice thing would be Samantha?" asked EJ as he bent down and picked up Ali.

Sami eyed him suspiciously, not liking his tone all of a sudden.

"What?" she asked.

"I think we should invite Nicole to Christmas dinner with us," said EJ, pulling a face for Ali's benefit and then giving her a piece of dried apricot to chew on.

"Yeah right," snorted Sami, "That's exactly what we should do."

EJ just looked back at her steadily, not saying anything.

"You're serious?!" squawked Sami, suddenly realising that EJ hadn't been kidding, "Are you insane EJ?!"

"Not yet but give it time," said EJ with a quirk of his lips.

"Oh do it sugar hips!" exclaimed Joseph, loving the thought of Nicole and Sami going at it during the entire Christmas lunch - he just loved dinner and a show!

"She's already had my brother!" grumped Sami, "Why do I have to feed her as well?!"

"Because it is Christmas, good will to all men, the spirit of giving," EJ chided her gently, "Nicole doesn't have anyone to spend Christmas with sweetheart, it would be a nice gesture."

"Didn't Eric already give her a nice gesture?" asked Sami in despair, "Why do we both have to throw her a bone?!"

EJ arched an eyebrow at her turn of phrase and Sami had the grace to look chagrined.

"That came out wrong but the sentiment remains!" said Sami, not backing down.

"Samantha," said EJ warningly as Nicole started to walk towards them, obviously having found her purse.

"Fine!" she huffed and then more loudly, "Nicole - do you want to come to Christmas lunch?"

Nicole looked surprised at her offer, as did Eric but beyond that Sami couldn't tell if this was something he wanted or not.

"Why?" she asked, looking at Sami suspiciously.

"EJ's making me," replied Sami truthfully and was rewarded with a nudge from her husband, "… and because it would make our Christmas complete."

The way Sami said that it was clear that she couldn't have meant it any less and Nicole pouted.

"I don't want to be where I'm not wanted," she sniffed.

"That's not true," replied Sami straight faced, "You've been in Salem for months now and no one wants you here."

"Samantha!" EJ chastised her lightly, "Play nicely will you - it's Christmas!"

"Like I need your pity Sami Brady," scowled Nicole.

"DiMera," EJ corrected her automatically, "Samantha is my wife Nicole… twice over in fact."

"Whatever," said dismissed Nicole blithely, "Besides, maybe I've got plans of my own for Christmas. Ever think of that Sami?"

"I didn't know bars were open on Christmas day," shot back Sami, "What do they do Nicole, give you cranberry sauce instead of nuts to nibble on while you get plastered?"

"Nicole we would be very pleased if you would join us for Christmas lunch," interjected EJ, before things got anymore heated between the two women.

"Would I have to sit next to her?" pouted Nicole, eyeing Sami with disdain.

"You can sit next to me Legs," offered Joseph with a grin.

Nicole made a big show of considering the offer which Sami rolled her eyes at in disgust.

"Stop milking it Nicole," she said flatly, "It's not like you've got people beating down your door with offers to spend Christmas day with now is it?"

"I'll come as long as I can bring Pookie," huffed Nicole.

"Oh yay!!" declared Joseph, clapping his hands together excitedly, "You can help me get into my Santa costume Nikkei - it's a bit tricky."

"That will be a first," smirked Sami, "Nicole helping a man into his pants rather than out of them."

"Samantha," said EJ firmly, handing Ali to Joseph, "Can I see you in the kitchen for a minute please… privately?"

Sami blew out a frustrated breath and started to walk into the kitchen, EJ right behind her. She knew he was going to chastise her for being so unfriendly towards Nicole but Sami couldn't seem to help herself around the other woman.

"Before you say anything," began Sami as they entered the kitchen and she turned around to face EJ, "I just want to say that you have no idea EJ of what that woman has put me through in the pas…"

Sami's defensive tirade was interrupted by EJ wordlessly pulling her into his arms and beginning to kiss her passionately. His hands went to her bottom cheeks and cupped them and then lifting her up off the ground, causing Sami to wrap her legs around his waist. EJ took a couple of steps and deposited Sami on the kitchen table, still kissing her wildly. He didn't stop until they both could barely breath. Finally EJ tore his mouth from hers, kissing his way down her neck and across Sami's chest.

"God but I was going crazy not being able to kiss you for all this time," he groaned against her skin and Sami shuddered at the naked need in his voice.

"Me too," she breathed, grabbing his lapels and dragging his head back up so she could kiss him again.

"Do you realise I haven't made love to you for nearly three hours now?" he asked her anguish.

"I know," she said huskily.

"I'm dying here Samantha," he groaned.

"Well you have to," she said with a little smile, lamenting the fact as much as he did, "We're about to leave for church and…"

Sami moved her core against EJ's already hardening member as he stood between her legs.

"… and I don't think _that_ is going to be an acceptable look to be sporting when we do," she teased him, amazed yet again at her husband's ability to still be able to perform after the marathon sex of the previous night.

EJ grimaced, knowing she was right.

"In that case I suppose I should let you go," he sighed regretfully, knowing he had no chance of calming down while Sami was in his arms and pressed up against him to tightly.

"I suppose," nodded Sami with a little smile.

They looked at each other rather lustfully then.

"I'm sure one more minute won't hurt," commented EJ with a mischievous grin, bending down and claiming Sami's mouth for more of the same fierce kisses.

Four minutes later Sami and EJ emerged from the kitchen and Nicole took in Sami's flushed expression approving.

"I see your husband gave you a good tongue lashing for being so rude to me," she said smugly, "Good!"

Sami walked past Nicole not saying anything and bent down to pick up Ali, a little smirk on her lips.

_A very good tongue lashing indeed…_


	97. Chapter 97

**Chapter NINETY SEVEN**

EJ turned his head and studied Sami's profile openly, the serene little smile on her face, the look of concentration as she looked straight ahead and most of all contentment. His love for her welled up inside of him in a rush and EJ felt his throat almost close over at the feelings of adoration he had for this woman.

They were in church together, sitting on the pews with Johnny and Ali between them with the pleasant sounds of the Christmas sermon drifting down from the pulpit. EJ had his arm stretched out across the back of the pew, his fingers loosely around Sami's neck as he gently stroked the soft skin of the back of her neck. Sami's long blonde hair hung like a shimmering curtain down her back and tickled the back of EJ's hand slightly as he caressed her neck.

EJ looked down then, taking in his children who were wonders of wonders, quietly occupying themselves. Johnny was playing with one of his trucks while Ali was intently 'reading' one of her little books, albeit the book was upside down. It didn't seem to matter because the little girl was appearing to enjoy the story just as much. It was an alphabet book filled with pictures of animals made of suitably sturdy cardboard pages to take the rough treatment a fifteen month old child dished out. She particularly liked to turn to the pages of the animals that she knew from her own home - F is for flamingo, M is for monkey, P is for peacock. Sami had been rather excited when she'd found the book and it had had so many of the animals they had in their own back garden.

Guess the K is for kitten was going to be a new favourite when the twins got a load of what was in their Gami's bedroom thought EJ ruefully. He still wasn't exactly sure what they were going to do with twenty seven cats but he was seriously considering wrapping quite a few of them and making each of their guests for Christmas dinner take at least one home… otherwise they couldn't leave! That should see their numbers whittled down somewhat EJ decided. A little smile touched EJ's lips to see his children so happy and content and new there was no greater joy in life to be able to know that about your children.

He looked up again to where Father Thompson, having now regained consciousness, was giving the Christmas sermon. EJ remembered what Christmas last year had been like for him - still struggling to regain use of his legs, Sami leaving him for Lucas and the way he'd come to this very church to beg God for a second chance at loving Samantha and being a good father. So much had happened since then and EJ couldn't believe how utterly his life was now to back then.

He knew the unimaginable joy of having the woman he loved above all other return his love whole heartedly and they were raising their children together with the promise of more to come. EJ was unbelievably thankful for how it had all turned out and he turned his head to look at Sami again, tears pricking his eyes at the sight of her beautiful profile, knowing she was his now, forever. It was hard to put into words just how joyous and humbled that made EJ feel. Sami turned her head and saw EJ looking at her, his eyes bright with unshed tears.

"What is it honey?" she asked softly, her brow furrowing in concern, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong," he whispered back, "Everything is perfect Samantha, utterly perfect and I'm just so very grateful. I came to this church a year ago today and begged God for a second chance with you and that if he'd allow it all I'd ever strive to do was love you and make you happy and be a good father to my children."

"EJ," choked out Sami, very touched by his revelations as he'd never told her this before.

"I'm going to hold up my end of the bargain Samantha," he swore to her softly, "I promise you."

"You already have," she said simply, her own eyes stinging with tears at the high emotion in his voice.

Sami put a hand up to EJ's face and gently stroked it.

"You already have EJ," she said, her voice wavering emotionally.

"If we weren't in church right now I'd so be kissing you now Mrs DiMera," he told her huskily and Sami had to giggle a little at that even as she felt his hand that was at her neck move down her back a little, tracing imaginary circles on her bare skin.

"Broommm, brroom, brroommm!"

Johnny's increasingly louder truck noises broke the emotional moment between the two adults. Marlena who was sitting in front of them, turned back around and smiled down at her grandson. The Brady/Carter/Blacks/DiMera/Carvers/Johnson's and of course Millers took up three of the church pews with their numbers and the feeling of family and belonging seemed particularly right just then.

"Quietly darling," EJ shushed his son before reminding him, "Quiet voices for church Johnny."

Johnny gave EJ a very winsome smile then and EJ just had to kiss his son's podgy cheek. The sermon had just finished then and now everyone stood up as the organ swelled for the final Christmas hymn. The twins stood up on the pews as well and Sami bent down and picked up Ali and EJ did the same with Johnny. EJ and Sami moved closer together and EJ held out the hymn book for he and Sami to read from despite Ali's best attempt to get her hands on it - she really did love books.

"Joy to the World" boomed out through the church, everyone lifting their voices in song to the rollicking carol and even the twins joined in, singing at the top of their voices and making EJ and Sami start to get a fit of the giggles at the cute sight. When the hymn was over the twins burst into spontaneous clapping, applauding away madly. The rest of the church laughed at their antics but Ali and Johnny often did singing and dancing with their Aunty Joe and there was always clapping after that so it only made sense to do so to the children.

Church was finished now and the children were at last allowed to roam free, within limits. Johnny immediately toddled off to find Theo, loving to hang out with the 'big boys' whilst Ciara sort out her cousin Ali, loving to give her lots of cuddles. The adults all mingled, chatting together, Sami begging to have a hold of little Joe whom Kayla was holding.

"Oh he's so tiny," gushed Sami, looking down at the little baby, "It seems like forever since Johnny was this small and even longer than that with Will."

"They grow too quickly," agreed Kayla with a little sigh and missing Stephanie who had opted to have Christmas out of town this year with all of her young friends.

"That will be you soon enough again," noted Steve with a little smile, looking on dotingly at his son in the arms of his niece as Sami cooed over him.

"I can't wait," grinned EJ and then caught movement out of the corner of his eye, "Don't run in the church boys…"

EJ cautioned Theo and Johnny as they began to gallop up and down the aisle, Johnny's chubby legs, as long as they were, no match for his much older cousin but it was rather sweet watching him try so very hard.

"My Mediterranean blood says the more the better when it comes to children," said EJ happily, "If I had my way I'd fill every room in the DiMera mansion with children."

"Doesn't that place have like twenty rooms or something?" asked Steve with a raised eyebrow.

"Twenty eight," confirmed EJ straight faced.

"And how does Sami feel about your plan?" asked Steve in amusement.

"She doesn't exactly know about it yet," admitted EJ ruefully, "But I've got a plan. I'm going to shoot for a soccer teams worth in the beginning and then just work up from there."

"Sucker for punishment I see," noted Steve wryly.

"Up until now that has been a defining quality of mine I'd have to agree with you Steven," said EJ with a quirk of his lips.

"Alright," said Eric, standing on the other side of the aisle, talking to Joseph and watching as Father Thompson farewelled everyone at the door of the church, "It's now or never Joe."

"Can I make a pitch for never?" asked Joseph hopefully.

"We promised Lexie," said Eric, not looking any more excited about the prospect of confessing all to the Father than Joseph obviously was.

"Looked we've already sodomised a peacock and drugged a priest," reasoned Joseph, "What's one broken promise to add to our list of crimes?"

"Lexie will check up on us Joe," said Eric flatly, "We have to do this… and it's the right thing to do."

"Ohhh," said Joseph, making a pained expression, "I don't wanna Boo!"

"Shut up and start walking Joe," said Eric, unmoved by Joseph's plea, "It was your idea in the first place."

Joseph made a very unhappy face now and pouted but let Eric drag him along.

"It's Christmas day Joe," reasoned Eric as they went, "It's all about good will and stuff like that besides - it's his job to forgive us."

"If you say so Boo," said Joseph, not sounding very convinced.

They came to a halt in front of the priest and both gave him big smiles, albeit nervous ones.

"Eric, Joseph," he greeted them both by name, "Good to see both of you."

"You too Father," said Eric, his smile fixed determinedly to his face as they shook hands in turn with him.

"I have to say I'm most terribly embarrassed about my fainting at the wedding yesterday," apologised Father Thompson, shaking his head ruefully, "I simply don't know what happened - it's all a blur for me. I can't imagine why I fainted away like that."

"Actually we might be able to help you out with that one Father," said Eric, making a pained expression of his own, "Is there any chance that we can talk to you privately for a moment?"

"Oh," said the priest, looking at them curiously, "Of course, come into the prayer room, no one will hear us there."

"Even if we're screaming?" asked Joseph nervously, not as confident as Eric was that this wouldn't result in some kind of bloodshed.

"You know I'm not certain," said Father Thompson with raised eyebrows, "Curiously enough it's never come up before."

He turned around then, indicating that they should follow which Eric and Joseph did, into a little ante chamber that was behind the pulpit.

"So what exactly seems to be the prob…" began Father Thompson once they were safely tucked away in the room but Eric interrupted him before he could go any further.

"We drugged you!" he blurted out, unable to keep it in anymore.

"You… you drugged me?" repeated Father Thompson in consternation.

"We drugged you," agreed Joseph, nodding his head emphatically.

"You drugged me?" he said again, looking between the two of them in confusion.

"We drugged you," nodded Eric earnestly.

"Yup," said Joseph who got a bit chatty when he was nervous, "We drug-diddly-ugged you!"

"Not helping Joe," said Eric flatly, shooting him a sideways glance.

"Sorry, nervous," mumbled Joseph, "Babbling and gas… that's what happens when I'm nervous."

"So you two drugged me?" said Father Thompson yet again, still trying to wrap his head around it.

"But in our defence we weren't intending for you to be the one who got drugged," said Joseph brightly.

"So who was the poor unfortunate that you were trying to drug?" asked Father Thompson, clearly bemused.

"Black Bear," volunteered Joseph happily which only made the priest look more confused.

"He means John," Eric clarified quickly.

"Why?" asked Father Thompson with a frown.

"Well John's last name is Black and have you ever seen the man without his shirt on Father?" supplied Joseph helpfully, he made a clawing gesture in the air with one hand then, "Grrrrowll."

"Thanks for that Joe," said Eric with a shake of his head at the other man, "Very graphic but I think what Father Thompson meant was why John?"

"I was actually," agreed the Father, looking like he really didn't need to know that last piece of information, "Why would either of you want to knock out John Black?"

"You weren't there for John's best man speech but if you had been then you wouldn't be asking us that question," said Eric wryly.

"We were trying to do EJ and Sami a favour and spare them the embarrassment of John toasting them," said Eric, realising in hindsight how ridiculous their plan really had been, "I guess we didn't really think it through properly Father."

"I think that would be a fair assessment Eric Brady," nodded the priest calmly.

"But our intentions were good and your drugging was accidental Father," Joseph pleaded their case, "It wasn't like we were knocking you out so we could have sex with you or anything like that!"

"Oh no," whimpered Eric, closing his eyes.

Joseph realised what he'd said then and hurried to make sure that he hadn't offended the other man at all.

"Not that you aren't a very attractive man Father," said Joseph quickly, "I mean if you weren't a priest and all, I'd do you for sure…"

Eric was just staring at Joseph now with open horror but now Joseph was getting right into it, in full chatty mode.

"You know I've always had a thing for priests," he confessed, nodding away to himself musingly, "I blame it on 'The Thornbirds' myself. Richard Chamberlain all dressed up in those black robes and white collar…"

Joseph seemed to drift off then, a happy little smile on his face.

"Mmm… yummy," he announced, obviously in his own little dream world now.

"What are you doing Joe?!" asked Eric in obvious anguish, "We're trying to apologise here for something that we could go to jail for and you're propositioning a priest and having what I'm going to take a stab at is wildly inappropriate thoughts in a church! None of this helps our cause Joe!"

"I feel a little better," offered up Joseph brightly, "That kind of helps doesn't it?"

Eric rolled his eyes at Joseph, not even knowing where to begin but Father Thompson saved him the trouble by intervening.

"So I'm assuming that this is an apology on your behalf for the… mishap of yesterday?" he asked, his face inscrutable.

"Yes," said Eric with a definite nod of his head, "I am… we both are, very, very sorry Father and we will accept any punishment you deem necessary - even if that means police involvement."

"Oh!" whimpered Joseph melodramatically, "I'm too pretty to go to jail - I'll be passed around like Twinkies at a fat camp!"

"I don't think the police need to be included in all of this," commented Father Thompson, his lips twitching a little in amusement at Joseph's carry on, "I accept your apologies and there was no real harm done in the end I suppose. However, I think some acts of contrition would not completely go astray considering the seriousness of the act."

"Absolutely Father," agreed Eric hastily, "You name it, we'll be there."

"Oh yes," nodded Joseph eagerly, "We'll happily contrition our brains out for you Father!"

Eric and Father Thompson looked at him a bit awry at that.

"What?" shrugged Joseph defensively, "I'm Jewish - what do I know about being Catholic!"

"About as much as what it takes to make an apology it would seem," said Eric flatly.

He looked over at Father Thompson again, deciding that now would probably be a good time to get while the going is good.

"Thank you for your understanding Father," said Eric sincerely.

"Yes thank you honey," nodded Joseph vigorously, "You've been simply wonderful!"

"Well I understand it was an honest mistake," said Father Thompson, "Although I don't know if that is exactly the right turn of phrase to use, all things considered."

"You know I feel like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders," announced Joseph happily with a big grin, "I feel sooo much better. I should do this confession thing more often!"

"Our doors are always open my son," said Father Thompson with a little smile of amusement, "After all, confession is good for the soul you know."

"I've heard that," said Joseph, nodding his head eagerly, "So while I've got you here and in the general theme of confession and forgiveness… what exactly is the church's stance of violating animals… peacocks in particular?"

"We're pretty much against it," said Father Thompson calmly but looking a little concerned now.

"Ah yes," said Joseph with great interest, "What if again it was for a good cause and to help a friend out and the peacock was fine afterwards and I'm pretty sure he even got lucky that night…"

"He's just joking with you Father!" said Eric, grabbing hold of Joseph's arm and jerking on it hard in a desperate attempt to get Joseph out of the room before he dug their hole any deeper, "He's such a joker our Joe! We'll come and see you in the new year I promise and I'm sure we can work something out for those acts of contrition."

Eric began hustling Joseph to the door before the other man let anything else slip and Joseph waved to Father Thompson over Eric's shoulder.

"Merry Christmas Father!" he said cheerily, "And thank you!"

"Merry Christmas," nodded Father Thompson in return, "Oh and boys…"

Eric stopped bustling Joseph out of the room so that they could both look back at the priest with some trepidation.

"Behave yourselves won't you?" said the priest wryly.

"Count on it Father!" said Eric quickly, fresh relief coursing through his body.

Eric hurried Joseph out of the room and back into the church where the congregation had thinned somewhat by this stage.

"Well," said Joseph cheerfully, "I think that went well."

Eric didn't say anything but the look he gave Joseph spoke volumes.


	98. Chapter 98

**Chapter NINETY EIGHT**

The church was almost empty now, most of the people heading off to their Christmas lunches. Sami bent down to retrieve Ali's book from the ground so they could get the twins all packed up and in the car. She felt a felt a little wave of nausea come over her and she put a hand out to steady herself on the pew, pressing a hand to her stomach and swallowing hard.

"Are you alright sweetheart?" asked EJ, suddenly appearing beside her and taking her arm, looking at her in concern, "Are you feeling sick?"

"A little," confessed Sami with a bit of a grimace, "Think my blood sugar has dropped a bit."

EJ looked around and spied one of the twin's half drunk juice boxes on the pew and retrieved it for her, offering it to Sami.

"Here," he said, "This will give you a little sugar hit until we can get you home."

Sami took it gratefully and sucked on the straw, the taste of blackcurrants and apples suddenly in her mouth. EJ moved in closer to her and protectively put his hand on her back, rubbing it for her.

"Any better?" he asked her solicitously when she was done.

Sami thought about that for a moment, the need to vomit starting to settle again as the juice took effect.

"Mm," she said, nodding as she leant into EJ, borrowing his strength for a minute.

She could see Anna and Tony by the door, amusing the twins and a little smile touched her lips.

"I see my morning sickness cure didn't quite last," said EJ impishly, the hand that had been rubbing her back slipping down and stroking her lower back now.

His fingers drifted back and forth over the exact spot her tattoo was, already having committed its position to memory as EJ couldn't see it through her dress.

"Perhaps it's something that I have to take regular doses of?" she suggested cheekily, leaning into EJ more.

"Is that right?" asked EJ teasingly, looking suddenly very interested, "Well I'll see if I can do my best to keep up to the demand."

"You'd better mister," growled Sami, her eyes full of temptation, "Because I can be pretty hard to live with if I don't get what I want all the time."

"Which is what sweetheart?" he asked her with a quirk of his lips, completely captivated by her as always and unable to look away.

Sami looked at him then, seduction simply oozing from her as she put a hand out and grabbed his tie, slowly pulling on it so EJ had to duck his head or be choked. Sami pressed her lips to his ear then, whispering into it with a voice that made EJ's toes curl.

"I'll tell you EJ," she purred so that only he could hear, "What I want is for you to be hard all the time… think you can manage it?"

"I'm pretty certain," said EJ shakily, feeling his blood pressure begin to rise as she toyed with him relentlessly.

"I'm very pleased to hear that EJ," she murmured, rubbing her body ever so slightly against him as they stood there together.

"Samantha," EJ squeaked, "We are in a church!"

"So?" she asked, looking up at him innocently.

"So I am thinking very un-church like thoughts right now," said EJ with a mischievous grin, "So behave yourself young lady."

Sami just smiled up at him, looking as though butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

**oooOOOOooo**

"Alright is everyone here?" asked EJ, looking around the crowded room, "Is everyone back from church now?"

There was a general consensus that everyone was there and EJ did a quick head count to make sure.

"I'll go and start bringing out things for the children to eat," said Sami, heading towards the kitchen.

"Oh no you don't Samantha," said EJ firmly, grabbing her arm before she could get too far, "You have done enough running around for our wedding. You are going to sit down and put you're feet up and get some well deserved rest."

"But…" Sami went to protest but EJ wouldn't hear any argument on the subject.

"No sweetheart," he said firmly, guiding her to the couch and making her sit down, "You are not going to lift a finger do you hear me?"

"I'm pregnant EJ," she said with a roll of her eyes, "Not an invalid."

"Sit, stay," said EJ determinedly, "I'll take care of the children and bring you back something to eat - we don't want you feeling sick again now do we?"

EJ made sure Sami was settled on the sofa and picked up Johnny who was all set to clamber over Sami now that he had the opportunity.

"Would you watch her for me please Lexie?" asked EJ as his sister approached them, "I don't trust my wife to stay put."

"I'll keep an eye on her little brother," grinned Lexie, taking a seat next to Sami on the sofa.

"He's being ridiculous," commented Sami to her as EJ bustled off with Johnny in his arms, "You know that right?"

"I know my brother loves to fuss over you," smiled Lexie, "My advice is to sit back and enjoy it because once this latest little one arrives you'll be run off your feet wrangling three of children under two!"

"EJ's hoping for twins," confided Sami with a sigh, "Or even triplets."

"Yeah that's because he doesn't have to push them out of an opening the size of a silver dollar," said Lexie dryly,

"That's what I said," grinned Sami and the sister in laws shared a bonding moment together.

"So can I expect to see you tomorrow at the hospital?" Lexie asked Sami, "Like you promised Sami."

"It's Boxing Day Lexie," said Sami in exasperation.

"Rather surprisingly the hospital doesn't close for holidays Sami," said Lexie with an arch of an eyebrow, "And you need to go and get checked out properly, especially now."

"But isn't my anaemia most likely due to the pregnancy?" asked Sami with a shrug, "We know what's causing it so it shouldn't be a big deal."

"Sami," said Lexie firmly, "You are only a month pregnant and there is no way that you should be that anaemic because of it. You need to have more tests run, if not for you then for the baby."

"What do you mean?" asked Sami, suddenly worried, "How can the anaemia affect the baby?"

"Haemoglobin carries oxygen around the body Sami," explained Lexie, "And yours is very low due to the anaemia, it means less oxygen for you and for the baby you're carrying."

Sami put a protective hand to her stomach and looked upset.

"My baby is going to be alright though?" she asked her anxiously, "Lexie?"

"I'm sure everything will be fine Sami," Lexie said reassuringly, "But you really need to do as I say and let them run some more tests on you… as soon as possible - for the sake of both you and the baby."

"What's this about the baby?" asked EJ, just overhearing the last part as he bought back a plate of food for Sami to snack on before lunch was served in another hour or so.

"Lexie was just wondering if we were hoping for a boy or a girl," said Sami quickly, throwing Lexie a quick warning look before smiling up at EJ who still had Johnny on his hip whilst his sister was being carried around by her Gami.

"All I want is for this baby to be healthy," said EJ with a smile, "I don't care what the sex is."

He turned to Johnny then and grinned at him.

"So what do you think my boy?" he quizzed him, tickling his chubby cheeks with one finger and making him giggle, "Would you like another sister or a little brother eh?"

Sami and Lexie exchanged looks while EJ chatted with his son, Sami's quietly pleading with the other woman to say nothing for the time being and Lexie's was one of resignation.

"Tomorrow," Lexie mouthed to Sami and Sami nodded which was enough for Lexie.

**oooOOOOooo**

"I need a room to change into my you know what costume," announced as he was standing outside on the patio talking to John, Eric and Nicole, "So we can start handing out the presents."

"You can use my room," offered John expressionlessly, looking at Joseph, "How do you feel about pussies?"

Before church it had been decided to divide up the cats a little bit - mainly at Marlena's insistence and now John's room had ten of the cats in his room.

"Well…," mused Joseph, considering this as Eric began to quietly choke on a cheese ball, "It's not my area of expertise obviously…"

"What's there to know?" shrugged John, "You just grab them and hold on tight… and try not to let them get anywhere near your face other wise all that fur goes right up your nose."

"Ohhh," said Joseph wrinkling his nose, "To be perfectly honest I've always been a bit frightened of them… they are so weird looking!"

"I don't know," shrugged John, "I don't mind them but I don't like those ones you can get with no fur at all on them… now that's weird looking."

"And a lot of maintenance," mused Joseph thoughtfully.

"Yeah like having to put sunscreen on it when they go out in the sun," nodded John to which Joseph looked mildly perplexed by that statement but appeared to think about it and decide John was right.

Nicole just shook her head and rolled her eyes, taking a sip of her drink as she listened to the two men talk at cross purposes but did nothing to correct either men. Eric meanwhile had doubled over by this stage and was beginning to flail around a bit as he continued to choke helplessly while everyone just stood around chatting. John looked him up and down and then slapped him hard on the back, much as he'd done to Eric's twin not so long ago. The cheesy treat dislodged from his throat and landed squarely on Nicole's open toed shoes, a gelatinous mess of cheesy goo.

"Gross!" she cried out, shaking her foot frantically and then glared at Eric, "Stop bringing up food on me Eric! What is this??!"

"What this is, is me choking!" snapped Eric, still gasping for breath and red in the face.

"Oh poor Boo!" said Joseph, putting a sympathetic hand on his back, "Is my darling alright?"

"Those things should come with some kind of warning label," commented John stoically, "Or you lot should just learn to chew every now and then."

"I'm fine," coughed Eric in answer to Joseph's concerned question, "Thank you for asking Joe."

He looked over at Nicole who was still pulling a face and shaking her foot to dislodge the last bit of cheese and spittle from her foot.

"I didn't worry you there did I Nicole?" he asked bitterly, still coughing a bit, "Didn't make you spill your drink or anything?"

"Sorry," said Nicole off handedly, "I thought you were just playing around."

"Here's a hint for you sweetheart," said Eric sarcastically, "When I go blue like that it's a pretty safe bet that I'm not joking!"

"So I'll know for next time," she shrugged and gave him a sweet smile.

"Black Bear," said Joseph with a little frown, looking uncertainly at him, "There really isn't a woman in your room is there?"

"No," frowned John, looking confused, wondering what would make Joseph think that.

"Oh good," said Joseph in relief.

"It will be fine to use my room Joe," said John stoically, "Oh but check out the grey one when you're there - that's Blondie's pussy."

Eric made another strangled noise whilst Nicole's eyebrows shot up at that last statement and Joseph looked a little concerned. John wasn't overly sure why though. Out of all of the cats that John had gotten her Marlena had taken a liking to a little grey female and although she'd told him that they weren't be going to keep all of the cats she'd like to keep the grey one which was fine by John. What he didn't understand was why it seemed to be upsetting people so much.

"Uncle John!" exclaimed EJ as he walked by with Johnny still in his arms and having overheard that last part - much to his complete and utter horror, "Do you mind?! This is hardly the time or the place and is certainly no way to be referring to Marlena!"

"I'm not," said John perplexed, "I'm talking about that grey pussy cat that Blondie is keeping."

"Oohh," said Joseph and made a relieved face who had yet to hear about the cat invasion.

"Oh," said EJ sheepishly, calming down a bit, "Ah sorry Uncle… I thought… umm…"

"Why is everyone being so weird?" asked John, looking around at everyone, "I've got that right - they're called pussy cats right?"

"Yes indeed they are," said EJ quickly.

"So I'm right when I say that Blondie's now got a grey pussy?" John pushed them, trying to understand.

"Ohh," groaned Eric, shaking his head and grabbing Nicole's glass of alcohol and downing it in one gulp.

"Hey!" complained Nicole, frowning at him.

"It's an emergency," said Eric flatly.

"Yes Uncle John," said EJ with a bright smile, "Perfectly correct."

"So what's a big deal about a pussy?" John quizzed him, knowing he'd said something wrong at some point in this conversation judging by everyone's reaction but he just couldn't work out what.

"That's always been my question," said Joseph cheerily to which EJ threw him an exasperated look.

"Yes," said Nicole smirked, enjoying EJ's discomfort, "Do explain counsellor won't you?"

"Please don't," said Eric weakly and then looked around for another glass of alcohol.

"It's just that it can be used as a term for something else Uncle John," said EJ and then gave him a determined look, "But we'll discuss it in private later."

"You mean like a hat?" said John with interest.

"No," said EJ stoically, "Not like a hat."

"A chicken?" guessed John, "Watermelon, wheelbarrow…?"

John threw wild guesses at EJ but he was already moving away, taking his son away before any permanent psychological damage could be done to him.

"Later Uncle," he called back over his shoulder, "And in the meantime please attempt to put the word 'cat' at the end that word would you?"

"That nephew of mine is so weird," said John with a shake of his head.

"Yeah it seems to be something that runs in the family," commented Nicole straight faced.

"Sorry darlings," said Joseph, still a little bemused, "Exactly how many cats are there upstairs?"

"Twenty seven," sighed Eric.

"Holy fur ball Batman!" exclaimed Joseph in surprise, "That's a lot!"

"Yep," nodded John quite proud that his gift was obviously made such an impression on people, "It's wall to wall pussy upstairs."

"Cats Uncle - you have to say cats!"

EJ called out from the other side of the room, obviously still keeping an ear on their conversation.

"I'm going to go and talk to my peacocks," announced John suddenly, unfazed by all the drama and wandering off.

"Well I'd better go and brave all those pussy cats," smiled Joseph happily, now that he knew what he was dealing with even if he was a little uncertain about the why part still.

The two men headed off in different directions and Nicole watched them go with a shake of her head.

"Hmm," she mused to herself, "Cocks and pussy's - this is going to be Christmas for the record books."

_If only Nicole knew just exactly who true that prediction was going to turn out to be…_


	99. Chapter 99

**Chapter NINETY NINE**

Fifteen minutes later everyone was going on a tour of the gardens to find the peacocks and flamingos and check out the Christmas tree. EJ and Eric had stayed behind to set up everything for 'Santa' so that the children could start opening presents once they got back. Nicole had stayed as well because she said she didn't like the outdoors and that children brought her out in a rash. Sami had then suggested that children weren't going to be the reason for any rash Nicole might have but EJ had separated the two women before it got any more graphic than that. Eric and EJ were sorting all the gifts by one of the big chairs that they'd chosen for Santa to sit in while Nicole watched on.

"Ta daaahh!"

They all turned to see Joseph in the doorway, all decked out in his Santa outfit, completely with jolly belly and long white flowing beard. Joseph struck a pose in the doorway for them all.

"You look wonderful Joseph," said EJ with a laugh, "The children will love you."

"Not bad Joe," said Nicole with a nod of her head and looked suitably impressed.

"You look great Santa," grinned Eric and then nodded at the chair, "EJ and I thought this would be the best place for you to hand out the presents from."

"Ohh yes!" said Joseph excitedly, walking over to them, "It looks like my elves have been hard at work. Industrious and gorgeous - what more could Santa ask for?!"

Joseph then managed to pinch them both on the backside at the same time as he did that.

"Hey watch it Santa!" said Eric in mock offence, "We've got a union you know and that's considered sexual harassment in the work place!"

"Oh don't pretend that you both don't love it!" said Joseph cheekily to which both EJ and Eric had to laugh.

"Well my Christmas is complete," said Nicole mockingly, "Watching Santa play grab ass with my boyfriend and my lawyer.

"I'm not your boyfriend Nicole," said Eric firmly, "We just…"

"Got drunk and had sex?" she offered up sweetly, "I was looking for a shorter way to say that hon!"

"Oh I am so glad that Samantha isn't here right now," said EJ looking to the heavens knowing his wife would have come up with a few choice and descriptive words to describe what had passed between Eric and Nicole last night.

EJ was doing his best to try and keep this a PG Christmas but everyone seemed to be working against him on that one.

"So the children will be back soon and I thought you could be waiting for them in the chair," said EJ to Joseph.

"Oh no honey," said Joseph dramatically, "Santa has to make an entrance!"

"And how is Santa planning on doing that exactly?" asked EJ in amusement at how seriously Joseph was taking his role.

"The traditional way," said Joseph blithely, "Down the chimney."

"Joseph this is a three story house," pointed out EJ sensibly, "I'm pretty confident that you'd be killed if you attempted any such thing."

"I'm not going to go all the way down Lolly!" said Joseph in exasperation.

"First time for everything I suppose," quipped Nicole from the sofa.

"Yes thank you Nicole," said EJ with a shake of his head.

Why oh why did everyone insist on filling Christmas days with talk of vaginas, pussy's and oral sex he wondered in despair? Back home in England that was reserved for New Years Day or at the very least until everyone got drunk on the pre-dinner drinks before Christmas lunch! It was rather confronting listening to that kind of talk when one was sober on today of all days EJ decided.

"I'll just go into the fire place and crawl up a little, pull my feet up and then when the children are there I'll drop down and voilà!" said Joseph excitedly with an expressive wave of his hand, "Christmas with all its magic!"

"Are you sure that is going to work Joseph?" asked EJ, typically cautious.

"It's a pretty big fire place," commented Eric, walking over to it, "Joe would probably fit."

"I'll do a dress rehearsal," said Joseph, enjoying the theatrics of it all.

He waddled over in his hefty Santa out fit and crawled into the fireplace.

Joseph stood up then and reached up.

"Ohh!" he said happily, "There is a little ledge I can grab hold of and hang onto."

He looked out from under the chimney with a bright smile.

"I just need a bit of a leg up," he grinned which was a bit hard to see around that big flowing beard of his, "Come my little elves, your Santa needs you."

"I'm so glad I've already got a bit of a buzz on," commented Nicole stoically as she took another mouthful of her egg nog watching the goings on around her.

Eric and EJ meanwhile had helpfully begun to hoist Joseph up the chimney a little ways by both of them grabbing a booted foot each.

"Have you got it Joe?" asked Eric as Joseph scrabbled about a bit.

"Yes Boo," said Joseph's voice, echoing down from above them, "Let go honeys and tell me how this looks."

"Ridiculous!" called out Nicole from her vantage point.

"A little bit of Christmas spirit if you will please Nicole," said EJ firmly as he and Eric exited the fire place and stood back.

"And he doesn't mean the type at the bottom of a bottle either," said Eric sweetly to which Nicole just threw him a disdainful look.

"Alright can you see me at all?"

Joseph's voice bounced out from the fire place, sounding odd because of where he was. He pulled up his legs so that they were no longer hanging down in the fire place.

"No," said EJ impressed, "That looks good, now show us your grand entrance."

"Alrighty!" chirped Joseph, clearly very excited about it all.

Joseph's legs reappeared and the three people in the room waited for the rest of Santa to descend.

"HO HO… oh."

"What's wrong Joe?" asked Eric when it was only Santa's legs that seemed to be making an appearance.

"Ah…"

Santa's legs bent up at the knees and then dropped down again sharply and he did that a few times but nothing was happening. After the third attempt Santa's legs began to flail around wildly.

"Joseph?" queried EJ uncertainly, "What's happening up there?"

"I'm stuck!" called back Joseph, the sounds of panic beginning to creep into his voice.

"I'm sure you're not Joseph," said EJ, trying to sound calming, "You went up there easily enough, I'm sure you'll be fine to come back down again."

"But I can't!" he exclaimed, his voice starting to rise with his panic, "I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'M STUCK!!"

"Ah the magic of Christmas," smirked Nicole, leaning back in the sofa and settling in to enjoy the show.

Santa's legs were now wildly kicking about in the fire place as Joseph worked himself up into hysterics.

"Oh my god I'm going to die here!" he screeched in horror, "Tell my mother I love her!!"

"You're not going to die Joe," called out Eric to him encouragingly and then more quietly to EJ, "Is he?"

"Of course not," said EJ in exasperation as the two men hurried to help the calamity stricken Santa, "Calm down Joseph, it's going to be fine!"

Santa's legs were still flailing about violently and Eric hesitated.

"I'm not going in there while he's doing that," commented Eric, noticing that Joseph's booted feet were somewhat of a lethal weapon at the height they were at.

Eric looked down at his crotch which married up perfectly with the level of Joseph's boots and shook his head.

"It's alright for you EJ, you've already got kids," he said, casting his brother in law a telling look, "But I don't want to be render sterile by a sharp blow from Santa's boots to the baby making factory!"

EJ pulled a face at that and then looked at how Joseph was still thrashing about and had to agree, only an idiot would go in there willingly.

"Just calm down Joseph," he said called up to the other man, "Eric and I are going to help you but you've got to stop moving around like that!"

"Ohh!" groaned Joseph weakly and stopped kicking, his legs hanging limply from the chimney now in a rather comical fashion.

"Okay," said Eric, moving in sideways and protecting himself as best he could, "We're going in Joe - no kicking!"

His only answer was another groan from Joseph. EJ and Eric stepped into the fire place together, each going to stand on either side of his legs.

"Alright Joseph," said EJ, talking up into the chimney, "We're just going to pull on your legs and that should get you free - just try and relax and breath out alright?"

"Oh hurry Lolly," cried Joseph, "I think I'm running out of air."

"It's a chimney Joe," said Eric reassuringly, "You're not going to run out of air."

"Eric's right," said EJ calmly, "Just relax and take it easy and we'll have you out of there in a jiffy."

EJ and Eric both grabbed a hold of a leg each, wrapping their arms around a thigh each of Joseph's.

"Okay," said EJ, "On the count of three… one… two… THREE!"

EJ and Eric both pulled down on Joseph's legs together but nothing happened.

"Again," said EJ, counting them down once more but Santa stubbornly didn't budge.

"Okay," said Eric, thinking about this, "Maybe if we do small, little jerks than Joe will just inch free?"

"Worth a shot," nodded EJ and they began doing that but it was to no avail.

"Alright," said EJ, "Maybe we've moved him fractionally now, let's pull hard one more time and maybe that will do the trick?"

"I'm in," nodded Eric.

EJ and Eric both braced themselves, tightening their holds on Joseph's legs and pressing their cheeks up to his thigh so they could get a good grip on him. On the count of three they both pulled down as hard as they could.

"Stop, stop!" howled Joseph, starting to kick, "You're going to snap me in two!!"

"Well that didn't work," said Eric, stating the obvious.

"I have two gorgeous men with their faces in my nether regions and I'm not enjoying it at all!" Joseph screeched his complaint, "It's a travesty I tell you! A complete and utter travesty!"

"He seems to be getting more and more tightly wedged in there," commented EJ thoughtfully, craning his neck and looked up the chimney, well, to where Joseph was blocking it totally that was.

"It's always been my experience that if you pull on things they only get bigger," said Nicole cheerily from the sofa.

"Don't look at me man," said Eric when EJ looked from Nicole to Eric in exasperation, "You are the one who invited her to stay!"

"Was that a jiffy?" fretted Joseph from above, "I don't know how long a jiffy is but shouldn't I be free now?!"

"Alright," conceded EJ pulling a rueful face, "This may take a jiffy and a half. Despite Nicole's rather disturbing way of putting it I actually think she might be right. I think all that thrashing around by Joseph has made him puff up a little and cause him to be jammed in there pretty tightly."

"So what do we do now?" asked Eric, looking over at EJ enquiringly.

"If you want my advice I'd recommend keeping on going," said Nicole cheekily, crossing her legs and winking at Eric, "I've always found that the swelling problem takes care of itself if you keep on pulling."

"You are not being the least bit helpful here Nicole!" said EJ in irritation.

"Not trying to help counsellor," she said sweetly.

"Well mission accomplished then," bit out EJ in aggravation.

"What's going on down there?"

Joseph's worried voice floated down to them.

"Are you helping me? You don't sound like you're helping me?!"

"We're thinking Joe," called back Eric, "Just hang in there!"

"My options are somewhat limited to do anything but hang in there Boo!" called back Joseph in exasperation.

"Point taken," nodded Eric and then looked at EJ, "Okay, how's this sound? If you're right and Joe's stuck because he's… umm… swelled up a bit then all we have to do is unswell him."

"This oughta be good," said Nicole, watching on with even greater interest now.

"We take out his stomach," said Eric, throwing Nicole a disgruntled look for enjoying this so much.

"Ah," nodded EJ, "Excellent idea. That's going to greatly reduce his girth and Santa should just slide right out then."

The suggestion was explained to Joseph who was in no position or condition to disagree so they set about liberating Santa's jelly belly. The only trouble was that the costume Joseph had rented was very well made and the padded belly was very firm and wouldn't slide out. In the end EJ had to tear away one corner of the padding so that he and Eric could pull the wadding out bit by bit.

**oooOOOOooo**

"You know," said Sami with great excitement in her voice to the twins, Ciara and Theo, "I think I heard some sleigh bells before, who wants to go and check if Santa has arrived yet?!"

They had all just been down to feed the peacocks and flamingos and then the bigger kids had had a climb all over the tank under their parent's watchful eyes and now they were back on the patio. Theo and Ciara both gave suitably excited responses to Sami's question, knowing what she was talking about and the twins joined in just because the big kids were doing it. Little Joe was still too small to know for sure what was going on but kicked his legs happily in his mother's arms at the sound of the other children's happy chatter.

"They are so adorable," said Anna, smiling down at them all.

"Christmas is definitely for the children," agreed Caroline with a doting smile at the little ones.

"Well let's all mosey on in and see who's been good boys and girls this year," suggested Roman with a big smile, jiggling Ali up and down in his arms, "How does that sound princess?"

Ali laughed at her Pa and nodded vigorously so all of the adults trooped from the garden into the living room. They all came to an abrupt halt though at the sight that meant their eyes.

"What the?" exclaimed Roman in surprise.

"Oh my little brother," said Tony, shaking his head.

"I had a dream like this once," commented John thoughtfully which would have drawn more attention if the sight in front of everyone hadn't been quite so mesmerising.

EJ and Eric froze like deers in the headlights, both with great fistfuls of white wadding in their hands, Eric with one hand still buried deep into Santa's stomach as Santa's legs still dangled from the fireplace.

"Ahh…" EJ tried to think of something to say as every member of his extended family stared at him and Eric in horror, "… umm… this isn't what it looks like?"

"It looks like you're disembowelling Santa," commented John in his usual stoic fashion.

"He's pretty much in the ball park," said Nicole thoughtfully.

"EJ?" said Sami, looking between her husband and brother uncertainly, "What's going on?"

"Santa's had a little technical hitch darling," said EJ, smiling brightly and straightening up, quickly putting his hands with great wads of Santa innards in them behind his back.

He smiled reassuringly at the children then.

"But it's nothing to worry about darlings," he said chirpily to the children, "Isn't that right Santa?"

When Joseph didn't reply EJ, nudged his legs.

"I said there's nothing to worry about isn't that right Santa!" said EJ more loudly this time with a smile fixed determinedly to his face.

"Is that the fire brigade?" called back Joseph, "Tell them I've got some terrible chaffing going on and to bring as much lubricant as they can get their hands on… and to hurry!"

"No Santa," said Eric through gritted teeth, his own smile glued to his face as he kept on smiling at the children, "It's the CHILDREN! You know, the little ones with delicate psyches that could be scarred so easily by seeing a beloved figure in a compromising position."

"Oh," said Joseph and then there was the sound of Joseph's voice echoing down from the chimney, all lively and chirpy, "Hello children, it's me Santa - I'm waving to you…"

EJ and Eric both looked back at Joseph at that last part seeing as only Santa's legs were visible at the moment.

"Tell them I'm waving to them," urged Joseph in a quiet aside to them.

"Ahh Santa's waving kiddies," said Eric pulling a rueful face, "Take my word for it."

"Ah Santa?" asked Bo hesitantly, "What happened exactly here?"

"Oh Uncle Bo!" he called back, "Poor old Santa ate one too many Christmas cookies and now he's just the tiniest bit stuck but never fear children - he's got his little helper elves on the job."

"I hope they're not charging by the hour," commented Abe straight faced, noting the mess of wadding that lay strewn around the room.

"Ahh, EJ do you need us to do something?" asked Sami, looking at him worriedly.

"If you could just take everyone outside again for a minute sweetheart," said EJ brightly, "We'll extract Santa from his little predicament and come and get you."

"You sure you don't need any help?" she asked him uncertainly.

"We have it all in hand darling," said EJ with a reassuring smile.

"Alright," said Sami and then gave her own bright smile to the children, "Let's go out side again kiddies and see what Roger is up to shall we?"

Theo and Ciara still looked a bit uncertain about the whole Santa situation but dutifully followed their parents out along with everyone else although there were a few strange looks thrown back over the shoulders of the adults to be sure.

"EJ this isn't working," said Eric quietly to the other man as everyone filed out, "We've all but gutted Santa here and he's just as stuck."

"Mm," said EJ, agreeing with his assessment and then called out, "Ah Steve, can you stay for a minute please?"

Steve smiled and Kayla and indicated she should go on before sauntering back into the room, an amused look on his face.

"You rang?" he said with a quirk of his lips.

"Steve," said EJ, realising they were going to need some help here, "You were in the merchant marines - do you have any suggestions at all?"

"I know there are a lot of wild stories floating around about what sailors get up to," said Steve straight faced, "But seriously - even the merchant marines would draw the line at this kind of thing."

"So you don't have any suggestions then?" asked EJ in exasperation.

"If you leave him for a few days he'll dehydrate and probably just come free of his own accord," commented John expressionlessly as he'd stayed behind as well.

"NOOOO!" cried out Joseph in horror, "You can't leave me in here for day's!!!"

"We're not going to Joe," said Eric, patting his leg reassuringly, "Don't panic."

"You know it's most likely his shoulders that have gotten caught," commented Steve thoughtfully, "You're idea about lubricants isn't a bad one Joe. Do you have any at all?"

"We're out of castor oil," said Eric and then quickly smiled innocently when they looked at him oddly, "I heard that somewhere… don't know for sure."

"Maybe there is something else we can use?" suggested EJ, "Uncle John can you go and get Rolf and meet us in the kitchen please?"

"Sure why not," shrugged John and wandered off out the back in search of Rolf.

"We'll be right back Joseph," EJ called out as he, Eric and Steve headed into the kitchen.

Nicole meanwhile decided that this was as good a time as any to take an intermission, visit the little girl's room and restock up on egg nog. This left Joseph all alone, hanging in the chimney… almost.

Smokey had been sitting unnoticed by one of the French doors, watching the comings and goings with interest.

He had a score to settle with two of the mutant flamingo's and he hadn't forgotten about it - not by a long shot. He'd waited patiently, not quite able to fathom what was going on inside of the giant box but there was a lot of squawking and carrying on. At last though everyone had left the room except for one of them, which although even more oddly deformed then he'd been before Smokey knew instantly who it was. When everyone left the room Smokey knew what time it was…

_It was Smokey time!_

He walked into the house and looked around before making a beeline for the chimney place. He cocked his head and looked at the strange sight in front of him before walking up for a closer inspection. Joseph meanwhile was in the dark, literally and figuratively as he waited for his would be rescuers to return and tried not to panic. He suddenly felt some strange fluttering feelings at his crotch and made a perplexed face… what was that?

"Lolly?" he called out, ever hopeful, "Boo?"

There was no answer and the nuzzling got a little stronger.

"Black Bear?" queried Joseph with an arch of an eyebrow - perhaps there was going to be an upside to all of this after all.

Just as Joseph was starting to find the silver lining in his predicament there was a sharp pain in his southern most parts as Smokey went in for the kill, beginning to peck at Joseph's poor, defenceless groin area.

"MY GENITALS, MY GENITALS!!!" Joseph screamed hysterically, having no idea what was going on but absolutely certain that it was very, very bad.

The others in the kitchen heard Joe's cries and rushed out, just in time to see Smokey making a piñata out of Santa's jingle bells. EJ made a gasping noise and rushed at Smokey, shooing him away but meanwhile Joseph was still flailing about frenziedly and screaming like a banshee as he did his best to protect his man bits from the onslaught. His frantic movements must have done the trick at last though because Santa suddenly dropped from the chimney and landed in an ignominious heap on the ground.

"Mazel Tov!" exclaimed Steve approvingly as Joseph flailed around on the floor in a sooty heap whilst Eric and EJ hurried to help him to his feet, "It's a boy!"

"Demon bird!" said EJ in exasperation, trying to calm down Joseph who had stopped screaming but looked a little worse for wear, "I swear I don't know what gets into him sometimes!"

Eric knew what had gotten into him but he wasn't going to be commenting on that any time soon, instead concentrating on helping Joseph.

"How is everything going?" asked Sami, popping her head around the corner to check on their progress, "The children are getting restless."

"We've just unwedged Santa," said Eric happily as he and EJ supported the dazed looking Joseph between them, "We're good to go!"

"Actually," said EJ, looking down at the bedraggled Joseph, "Perhaps you'd better give us a couple of minutes for us to clean up Santa a bit sweetheart and give him a chance to compose himself and we can restuff his belly while we're at it."

"I'm fine," said Joseph faintly, swaying back and forth rather alarmingly as he said that and pretty much belying his words, "Ho ho hooo!"

"Americanz," commented Rolf with a shake of his head who had returned with John by this stage, "Ze have za strangest traditionz."

"I have to check on my genitals!" announced Joseph loudly, clearly still traumatised by his misadventures and a little out of it.

"Okay Santa," nodded Eric reassuringly, "Why don't you, EJ and I just go into the kitchen so we can sort that out for you?"

"Well there's Joe's Christmas wish just come true," noted Nicole wryly, having just returned, as the two men guided the still wobbly Santa Joseph towards the kitchen, half carrying him between them.

"It's weird to think of Santa having genitals," commented Steve idly to John as they watched the other three men disappear into the kitchen.

"Why?" asked John curiously, "How do Santa's normally reproduce?"

Steve just looked back at John steadily for a moment and then a slow smile crept over his face as he put an arm around John's shoulder.

"Walk with me John," he said, deciding to have a little fun.

**oooOOOOooo**

TWO MONTHS LATER…

"_Look for the last time Uncle John," said EJ, almost driven to his limit with frustration over this particular conversation with John, "I'm telling you that Santa's do not spring forth out of the eggs that the Easter Bunny has dropped!"_

"_Well where do Santa's come from if they don't have their own genitals?" asked John, completely unconvinced, "And answer me this nephew - why is it that Easter falls exactly nine months before Christmas… hm?"_

_EJ just stared back at him, lost for words and having no idea where to even begin with that one._

"_I thought so," said John smugly, settling back in his chair, believing himself to be vindicated._

"_I am going to kill Steve Johnson!" muttered EJ under his breath with a shake of his head._

"_Do you need to borrow a straw?" asked John helpfully._


	100. Chapter 100

**Chapter ONE HUNDRED**

Despite the somewhat rocky start to proceedings the present giving portion of the morning was in full swing. Santa, after self medicating with a stiff drink had settled into handing out presents and was proving to be a real winner. EJ and Eric had even managed to get most of the soot out of the Santa suit and what remained leant somewhat of an authentic air to the big man. The children had been given their presents first and Santa had been a big hit with them all and had gotten lots of cuddles, Ciara in particular had taken a real shine to Santa and refused to get off his lap so the other children had to work round her. But as Santa pointed out - there is always room on his lap for one more! The room was quickly filling with discarded wrapping paper, the children ripping open their presents with gusto while the adults looked on with great enjoyment.

Johnny had just gotten a toy tank in one of his presents and his eyes opened wide, picking it up and immediately toddling over to show his Great that he had a tank just like him now. Ali meanwhile had just opened a present that was a pretty little pink straw hat and was wearing it proudly while everyone fussed over her. Toy trucks and books and things that required batteries - batteries that would be surprisingly lost come Boxing Day mind you - were strewn everywhere and then it was the adults turn. Santa made them all come and sit on his lap for their presents and EJ got more than one snap shot on his cell phone of Tony sitting on Santa's lap - that one was a keeper! Once Tony had managed to free himself from Santa's clutches he sought out his little brother.

"Elvis," he called him to one side, "Did the little package behave itself last night?"

"Indeed she did," nodded EJ with a grin, "Do you want to come with me to collect her?"

"I'll let Santa give her to Anna," said Tony with a smile.

EJ and Tony quietly slipped out into the hallway and headed upstairs.

"So do you think Anna suspects anything?" asked EJ with a grin.

"Seeing as she brought it up yet again this morning and the fact that my father wasn't married to my mother was applied to me when she did suggests no," said Tony, looking very smug about the fact, "My wife is going to have a lot to make up for when she sees what I did."

"Ah that's the Christmas spirit Tony," said EJ teasingly, opening the door to Eric's room, "Oh."

"What is that monkey doing to Clarisse?" asked Tony, tilting his head to one side.

"I meant to tell you," said EJ a bit sheepishly, "Roger and Clarisse have developed somewhat of a fondness for one another."

"Is that why Roger is currently riding her like a small, furry jockey at the Kentucky Derby?" asked Tony with a side ways glance at EJ before looking back at the strange site of Roger astride the little white Pomeranian who had run up to greet them.

"Maybe Anna will think it's cute?" suggested EJ as he crouched down to pat both of the little animals.

"And maybe she'll buy her next pair of shoes from Target," said Tony mockingly.

EJ grimaced and had to agree. Anna's hadn't exactly bonded with Roger on first meeting and it was unlikely that she was going to be thrilled to find out of any kind of liaison had sprung up between him and her precious little dog.

"Perhaps we shouldn't tell her?" suggested EJ, straightening up and handing Clarisse to Tony, Roger jumping onto EJ's shoulder.

"Now you're thinking like a married man," nodded Tony encouragingly, "Keep that up and you and Samantha might have an actual chance at making this marriage work."

"Coming from you Tony that really means a lot," said EJ ironically.

As Tony had predicted Clarisse was a big hit and Anna was suitably chagrined about her behaviour towards him about it.

Then Tony pulled out the big guns and presented Anna with a present for Clarisse. It was a little Santa outfit that Anna had gone wild over a few days ago when she'd seen it, lamenting yet again that she wouldn't be with Clarisse for Christmas and how cute would she look in it?

"You are shameless," said EJ in a quiet aside to Tony as they watched Anna fuss over Clarisse, dressing the small dog in her outfit.

"Call it what you will little brother but I predict I won't be getting much sleep tonight," said Tony with a cocky grin.

The present giving continued with everyone getting gifts - even Nicole. EJ had bought her a lovely scarf from Samantha and himself previously which Sami had agreed to under duress, EJ citing the fact that Nicole was his first client and it was polite to do so. Caroline, ever the grandmother had also bought some spare presents, just in case of unexpected guests and Nicole had been the recipient of a pair of beautiful knitted gloves that Caroline had made herself. Nicole tried not to show it but she was very touched, even tearing up a bit.

Sami crouched down between the twins, whispering it their ear and handing them a brightly wrapped, flat box. They grinned up at their mommy and took an end each of the present and walked it over to where EJ was sitting on the floor across for them.

"For me?" he asked them delightedly and the twins nodded emphatically and EJ grinned, taking it from his children.

He looked over at Sami curiously and she just smiled back at him.

"It's just a little something from the children for their daddy," she told him, moving in closer so she could watch better.

"Is that right?" asked EJ, intrigued, "Well I guess I'm going to be needing some help with opening this then - who's going to help Daddy eh?"

The twins grinned back at him and immediately started to grab at the wrapping paper, tearing it to shreds.

"I've seen less carnage during a shark feeding frenzy," commented Eric with a grin, watching his niece and nephew amongst a flurry of brightly coloured wrapping paper.

"Oh EJ!" said Sami, too far away to reach, "Johnny!"

EJ grimaced and stuck his finger in Johnny's mouth, fishing out some of the afore mentioned wrapping paper.

"Well you are your Great Uncle's great nephew that is for certain Johnny," said EJ wryly, flicking out the mushed up ball of pulp onto another piece of paper and balling the mess up out of harms way, "Just because something looks nice doesn't mean you can food it darling."

Johnny seemed unconvinced about the validity of his father's words… much like his Great Uncle.

"So what do we have here I wonder?" asked EJ playfully, opening the box now that it was free of the wrapping paper.

EJ reached into the box and pulled out a white t-shirt which had the hand and footprints of his children on them in green and blue paint. EJ felt a lump come to his throat as he looked at it. It was easy to tell who's feet and hands belonged to which twin, Johnny's being markedly bigger than his sisters but Sami had carefully written their names beside them anyway.

"Do you like it?" asked Sami with a little smile.

"I love it Samantha," he said, his voice sounding a little choked and then he grinned at the twins, "Did you help your mummy make this for me sweethearts?"

"Yes!" said Ali with an emphatic nod of her head and her brother joined in.

EJ held up the shirt and looked at the twins.

"Which is yours darling?" he asked her and Ali immediately pointed out the green set of prints and EJ and Sami exchanged proud glances.

"Me!" exclaimed Johnny, pointing to the blue set and looking quite pleased with himself.

"And that's Johnny's!" grinned EJ.

He looked down then and gave a little bemused frown.

"Ah… who's are…?" he began but Sami interrupted.

"Rogers," she said flatly.

"Oh," said EJ, a smile dancing around his lips as he looked at the back of the t-shirt then, "And…"

"Barbara," said Sami with a roll of her eyes, "You try getting to get a pair of wriggling twins, a monkey trying to avoid having his tail pulled and an inquisitive flamingo together with paint and see what you come up with EJ!"

EJ began to laugh then.

"Is this why there is blue and green paint on the tree by the patio?" he asked in amusement.

"Yes," said Sami ruefully, "And why Barbara's feet look like they've got frost bite!"

"I love it!" grinned EJ and then to the twins, "I _love_ it - thank you so much you two!"

He kissed them both and then leant over across the little circle they'd made as a family and kissed Sami lingeringly on the lips.

"I love it," he said softly, his eyes warm and full of love, "It's the most precious gift I've ever gotten - thank you sweetheart."

Sami beamed at his words and she put a hand to EJ's face, leaning in and kissing him again.

**oooOOOOooo**

Christmas lunch was noisy and raucous and nothing like any other Christmas lunch EJ had ever experienced and he loved every loud, messy moment of it. He kept looking over at Sami and the twins, trying to absorb it all and remind himself that this was real, not just a fantasy. Everything he'd ever dreamed of and so much more besides was his and EJ couldn't have been happier in that moment. He looked around the rest of the table at his family and friends and couldn't believe how different this Christmas was from his last one and he sent a grateful prayer up to God for all that he'd been given.

Finally Christmas lunch was done and people began to drift back to their own homes until there was only a handful of people left. EJ had been true to his word and not let Sami lift so much as a finger throughout it all and Sami was feeling very spoiled by it all. They had just put the twins down for an afternoon nap and they fell asleep quickly, exhausted by all the excitement of the big day.

"I think it's time for Mummy to have a bit of a lie down as well," commented EJ as he closed the twins door behind him.

"Will you tuck me in?" Sami asked him with a playful grin, slipping her arm around EJ's waist.

"I will," he nodded and gave her an impish look, "And if you're a very good girl I'll even give you a kiss."

"And what if I'm a bad girl?" she asked him, walking into the bedroom first and then turning around to face him, a sultry look on her face, "What do I get then EJ?"

"Well it's straight to bed for you then young lady," he said huskily, walking towards her slowly and drawing her into his arms.

"Without my kiss?" she pouted up at him, looking very hard done by.

"I suppose I could be talked round," said EJ throatily, his eyes on Sami's lips as she slowly wet them for his benefit.

"EJ," she breathed, her voice full of need and that was enough for EJ.

He crushed Sami to him, kissing her hungrily, making her pay for her titillation of her at the church and Sami willingly accepted her fate. Their kisses continued to become more heated, EJ's hands going to her full bottom cheeks and squeezing them tightly.

"Can I see my Christmas present again?" he asked her, his voice thick from his rapidly increasing desire as he smiled down at her.

"I think I left the brief case I got you downstairs," Sami teased him but her breathing was equally erratic as his was by this point, "I can go and get it…"

"Not that present," he growled, tightening his hold on her as she playfully went to move away from him.

One of EJ's hand found its' way up under her skirt as he held her in his arms and went immediately to the tattoo of his name, stroking his fingers back and forth over the area.

"_This_ present," he corrected her thickly.

"You just want to look?" she asked him breathlessly, already knowing the answer to that question

Sami bit her lip, already able to feel his raging erection straining against her stomach and there was an equally intense need building inside of her. Sami stepped back out of his arms, holding his gaze unblinkingly and then gave him a small knowing smile. She very slowly turned around then, kicking off her shoes as she did and then put her hands to her skirt. With her back to EJ Sami carefully began to pull her skirt up until she had the material bunched around her waist. She looked back over her shoulder to see EJ that she held his rapt attention.

Suddenly EJ was directly behind her and she felt his lips being pressed up against the small of her back as he crouched down and began to trace the ink markings with his tongue. Sami gave a little whimper at the feeling of his hot tongue on the delicate skin and that was enough for EJ. His fingers hooked themselves in her panties and then they were pulling down Sami's legs and she was stepping out of them before EJ quickly straightened up, his hands going to her hips.

"On the bed sweetheart," he whispered in her ear, gently pushing her forward.

Sami knew what he wanted her to do, climbing onto the bed on her hands and knees. She looked back over her shoulder again to see EJ releasing himself from his pants as he stood behind her.

"I can see this going to be a favourite position for awhile," giggled Sami as EJ pushed her skirt up again, revealing her already slick folds to him in all their glory and so that her tattoo was on full display.

"Is that a complaint darling?" he asked her with smirk as he pushed into her without any more foreplay, making Sami groan loudly.

"Oh god!" she gasped, feeling her walls already begin to pulsate, wanting to come right then, "Not even a little bit!"

EJ wanted to take this slowly but the feeling of Sami's walls so tightly clenched around him, the sight of his name etched permanently into her pale flesh and the choked sounds of pleasure she was making pretty much ensured that wasn't going to be the case this time. He began to move inside of her almost fiercely, the urge to claim her obliterating all other thoughts from his head.

"Yes!" she groaned to him, "Oh god yes EJ! That feels so good, don't stop!"

"Samantha!" he cried out, excruciatingly excited by every single thing about this woman, "God but you're so perfect!"

EJ was so close already, he could feel it and had no way of stopping himself from racing towards that last intense peak, all he could do was ensure that Sami reached it with him. He found her nub, even as his thrusts became more frantic and began to rub it for her and almost instantly they were both climaxing, the lovers crying out their sweet delight for the other to hear.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ and Sami strolled down the staircase of the DiMera mansion, hand in hand and still glowing from their recent lovemaking.

"There you are," said Eric, looking up at them from the bottom of the stairs with Joseph who was standing beside him, "I thought you'd gotten lost putting the twins down."

"Oh honey," grinned Joseph, "Judging by the looks on their faces I don't think it was just the twins that went down."

"Joe!" exclaimed Sami who was within slapping reach now and playfully smacked his arm, "Do you mind!"

"Yes that is my sister you're talking about Joe," said Eric looking suddenly seedy, "Who as far as I'm aware, is still a virgin."

Joseph looked at Eric, clearly about to mention a few salient points but Eric held up an imperious finger.

"Untouched I tell you!" he said firmly, brooking no further discussion on the subject.

"Are you heading home Joseph?" asked EJ with a smile, amused by Eric's carry on.

"I am indeed Lolly," he smiled back.

"Oh thank you Joe," said Sami, throwing her arms around him and hugging him tightly, "You were a wonderful Santa and just made our Christmas for us."

"Thank you Kitten," grinned Joseph, returning her hug, "I had the most fabulous time… except for that middle bit but I'm sure copious amounts of therapy should help me with that."

"Joe," said Sami with a little laugh, shaking her head at him, "We did so appreciate it though."

"Yes Joseph," nodded EJ, taking his turn to embrace the other man then, "You were simply marvellous, the children were enraptured, thank you and thank you for your gift to the twins too."

"What did you get them Joe?" asked Eric curiously, having missed out on that amongst all the activity.

"A Barbra Streisand CD," said Joseph proudly.

"For fifteen month old twins?" asked Eric sceptically.

"Oh honey," gushed Joseph with great certainty, "It is never too early to introduce a little Babs into your world."

"Well the children love singing and dancing with their Aunty Joseph so I'm sure this will be a big hit as well," said EJ with great affection, "And again - I'm really sorry about Smokey's unprovoked attack on you - he really is a menace."

"Water on the bridge," said Joseph quickly, exchanging a look with Eric, "I'm sure it was just an accident."

"That's very generous of you Joseph," said EJ with a shake of his head, "But one more unprovoked attack and I'm going to get that bird's beak wired shut!"

They said their final goodbyes then and Sami and EJ went into the living room whilst Eric saw him to the door.

"It was not an accident Boo!" hissed Joseph dramatically when EJ and Sami were out of earshot, "He's out for revenge and he's gotten me but you're still on his hit list - I'm sure of it!"

"It's alright Joe," said Eric, putting a hand on his back reassuringly, "I'll watch my back."

"Oh honey take it from someone who knows," said Joseph with a roll of his eyes, "It's not your back you need to watch!"

Eric grimaced and had to admit, Joseph probably had a point.

**oooOOOOooo**

"Samantha we cannot keep twenty seven cats!" exclaimed EJ.

They were sitting in the living room and Sami had just returned from checking on the twins and she'd bought the little white kitten that she'd found first that morning with her for a bit of a cuddle and had commented on keeping the cats.

"I don't mean all of them," pouted Sami, "What about just Sir Edmund? I found him first and we kind of bonded."

"Sweetheart you already have six flamingos, an albino peacock and a capuchin monkey," pointed out EJ in exasperation, "Can't you bond with them instead?!"

"It's only one kitten EJ," said Sami with a roll of her eyes at, in her opinion, dramatics.

"As you are so fond of pointing out my love there are lines," told EJ wryly, "And I would like to start drawing some when it comes to our rather frightening tendency to acquire animals. At this rate the only place we'll ever be able to move into is a disused zoo!"

"Or a farm," said Eric helpfully, "You know, somewhere the flamingos can roam free."

"Thank you Eric," said EJ dryly.

"I suppose you're right," sighed Sami sadly, looking down at the little kitten she was nursing on her lap.

She looked up at EJ and did a brave little smile for his benefit which was so forlorn that EJ had to swallow hard.

"I suppose I'd better get Sir Edmund back to his mom," she said softly, getting up and walking out with the kitten.

"Man," laughed Eric once she was gone, "You are soo keeping that cat EJ!"

"I know," said EJ with a heavy sigh, knowing there was no way he'd be able to make Sami give up that cat and be the cause of making her so sad, "But I thought I'd give it the old college try anyway."

"Very admirable," applauded Eric with a smirk, "But going up against my sister when she really wants something is like a broken pencil."

EJ arched an eyebrow at that, wondering what on earth he was talking about.

"Pointless," explained Eric knowingly.

EJ smiled at that observation.

"Yes," he said happily, "My girl is a handful to be sure."

And EJ couldn't be more ecstatic about that fact.


	101. Chapter 101

**Chapter ONE HUNDRED & ONE**

It was getting late on Christmas night. The twins were long in bed and everyone had finally gone home except for the usual inhabitants of the mansion. The house seemed strangely quiet after all the noise and mayhem of Christmas day and the lead up to the wedding. Sami was curled up on the sofa with Sir Edmund on her lap the little kitten was fast asleep and EJ was clearing away the last of the Christmas carnage after ordering Sami to the sofa and that she was not to lift a finger.

"We'll have to get another cot for this new baby," commented Sami as they chatted quietly together, enjoying a little one on one time after all the frenetic activity of the day.

"Mm," nodded EJ, "The twins are still too little for a bed… although Johnny's getting better at escaping his so perhaps not."

"Oh," said Sami with a sad pout, "I don't want my babies to be in big beds yet!"

"I know," smiled EJ, "I want to keep them as babies so I can protect them forever as well."

"Dragons…"

Their conversation was interrupted by John's sudden appearance in the doorway. He'd taken himself off after dinner and they hadn't seen him since which EJ should have known by now was cause for concern.

"Real… or fictitious?"

"Ah… fictitious Uncle John," said EJ with a quirk of his lips.

"Hm," said John expressionlessly, taking that on board, "Leprechaun?"

"Fictitious," said EJ dryly and he and Sami exchanged amused looks.

"Dugong?" continued on John.

"Fictitious John," said Sami in exasperation, having never even heard the word before.

"Actually darling that's real," said EJ with gentle amusement, "Think of a manatee and that's a dugong more or less."

Sami was still looking at him blankly, not finding that very edifying at all.

"They're these quite large mammals that live in the sea," said EJ helpfully, "They're also can be called sea cows - they have a two lobed tail and flippers. In fact there is some speculation that sailors back in the day would see them swimming in the ocean beside the ships and mistake them for mermaids…"

EJ put up an imperious finger to John then and stalled his next question, knowing exactly what it was going to be.

"… which also don't exist Uncle," said EJ firmly.

John looked disappointed with this news but pressed on with the rest of his list.

"Bunyip?" asked John, looking at EJ intently.

"No," sighed EJ with a shake of his head.

Sami looked confused by that one too.

"It's a mythical Australian animal," explained EJ to Sami with a conspiratorial wink, "Amphibious and supposedly likes to dine on the flesh of women and children."

"Oh gross!" said Sami, screwing up her face at that.

"Voles?" asked John.

"That one I know," said Sami confidently, "Real."

"Gremlins, unicorns and centaurs?"

"Fictitious, fictitious and fictitious," replied EJ, wondering exactly how long this list was going to be.

"Martha Stewart?" John posed the question stoically.

"Fictit… sorry, real," said EJ, having to stop himself because he'd been expecting another fantastical animal from John.

"You don't sound very sure," noted John, looking at him suspiciously, "Are you lying to me?"

"Of course not Uncle," said EJ in exasperation, "Whilst I have never met the woman I'm quite certain she's real!"

"Mm," grunted John, not looking overly convinced and turned around, disappearing back into the hallway as abruptly as he'd arrived.

"Why do I get the feeling my uncle was just doing some shopping for another addition to the our menagerie?" asked EJ ruefully.

"Really?" asked Sami in sceptical amusement, "Do you actually think he's going to buy Martha Stewart and release her into the back garden?"

"Well if Martha Stewart does move in then she'd better be keeping her distance from Rolf's cupboard," grinned EJ.

"Yeah," said Eric, suddenly appearing from the kitchen, with a drink of milk in his hand having overheard the last part of that, "I tell you, Rolf is getting weirder about that cupboard by the minute - there is a lock on it now!"

"What could he possibly be keeping in there?" asked Sami in consternation.

"That's what I want to know!" said Eric determinedly, taking a seat beside his sister.

"Didn't you ever hear the expression about curiosity killing the cat?" asked EJ in mild amusement, "Let Rolf be - it's only a cupboard after all."

"A cupboard he feels the need to lock EJ," said Sami, on her twin's side with that, "You can't tell me you're not the least bit curious about what is inside!"

"I'm not actually sweetheart," said EJ with a shrug.

"Yeah well I am," said Eric seriously, "And I'm going to find out exactly what is up with the forbidden cupboard of mystery."

"Perhaps if you didn't refer to it as such you might found it a little less intriguing eh Eric?" suggested EJ in amusement.

"Ignore him," said Sami, turning to Eric, "What are you going to do?"

Eric thought about that for a second and then decided.

"A stake out!" he announced triumphantly, "I know Rolf comes down in the middle of the night and fiddles with the cupboard…"

"He's probably just tidying it up," interjected EJ reasonably, "And chooses to do so when he can have some peace and quiet."

"How convenient," said Eric, not buying it.

"You're as bad as your twin," said EJ with a shake of his head, "Trust me, spying on Rolf never seems to turn out well… just ask your sister."

"I hardly think Rolf is naked when he comes down to the kitchen," said Eric with an easy wave of his hand.

"You told him?" said EJ with a quirk of his lips to Sami.

"Eric always manages to get those things out of me in the end," said Sami ruefully.

"Hey you don't think Rolf is naked when he comes down to the kitchen in the middle of the night do you?" suddenly it was a worried question on Eric's behalf, "I wouldn't like to see that."

"It will scar you for life," agreed Sami stoically, remembering her own encounter, "You could cut the lock and replace it with an identical one."

"But Rolf has the key," protested Eric.

"We'd have to swap out the keys obviously," said Sami with a roll of her eyes, "Geez, you can tell you aren't the sneaky, underhanded one in the family!"

"That's why I've got you sis," grinned Eric, putting his arm around her and giving her a cuddle, "Twin power!"

EJ shook his head and smiled at their carry on.

"Looks like I've got another trip to the police station coming up," he sighed, giving them both a teasing look.

"No guts - no glory EJ," said Eric, looking pleased to be plotting with his sister.

"No crazy - no jail time," countered EJ knowingly and then they all laughed.

**oooOOOOooo**

EJ and Sami climbed the stairs slowly together, an arm around each other's waist, heading for bed.

"Tired sweetheart?" he asked her softly, pressing a kiss to the top of Sami's head as they walked along.

"Mm," she sighed, leaning into him more and then looked up at EJ adoringly.

"Today was great wasn't it?" she asked him, a big smile on her face, "Christmas, both of our family's, the children… everything."

"It was perfect Samantha," he nodded, returning her smile, "Apart from having to dislodge Santa from the chimney at one point and protect his genitals from Smokey…"

"Yeah what was up with that?" asked Sami, looking up at EJ in confusion, "Since when does Smokey have a grudge against Joe? What did he ever do to him?"

"Who knows what goes on the head of that crazy bird?" said EJ with a shrug.

They were at the top of the stairs then and after quickly checking on the soundly sleeping twins EJ and Sami retired to their bedroom.

"I am so happy to be back in this room," announced EJ with a big grin on his face.

"Well I'm very happy to have you back in it as well," said Sami with a smile, walking up and putting her arms around EJ's waist and hugging him tightly.

They stood there for a long moment, just enjoying being together, soaking in each other's presence.

"Well it's been a big day so it's bed time for you young lady," announced EJ, briefly tightening his hold on her before letting Sami go, "You must be exhausted darling."

"I am a bit," admitted Sami and then promptly gave a giant yawn.

"Come on," he laughed, "Bath and then to bed with you - you're sleeping for two now remember."

"I don't think that is how it works EJ," she giggled up at him but let EJ usher her into the bathroom anyway.

They showered together, washing each other down and just generally enjoying being able to touch one another freely again. Once out of the shower EJ dried them both down and neither one bothered with getting dressed after that. Sami wandered out of the bathroom after brushing her hair to find EJ sitting on the side of the bed, feet on the floor as he fiddled with his alarm clock.

"Since when do we need that?" she said with a bit of a laugh, "The twins always remind us when it's time to get up."

"I'm making sure it's turned off," said EJ with an impish grin, "I want to spend every available minute in this bed with my gorgeous wife until such time as our children deem it impossible."

Sami laughed at that and walked over to EJ, coming to stand between his legs and putting her hands on his shoulder.

"I am looking forward to waking up next to you tomorrow," conceded Sami with a sigh, "I've missed you so much EJ."

"I know darling," EJ said, his hands going to Sami's naked hips and caressing them, "I thought I'd go mad from being separated from you for so long."

"We're never going to do that again," said Sami with great certainty.

"Did you hear that little one?"

EJ addressed his question to Sam's flat midriff.

"You're mother just said I never have to leave her bed again so you're my witness on that one alright?" he said teasingly.

Sami giggled at that and EJ looked up at her with a big grin on his face.

"I'm so happy that you're pregnant Samantha," he told her adoringly, "It's the best Christmas present I could ever have hoped for."

"I am too," she said, a soft smile spreading across her face.

"I'm going to be able to do all those things with this baby that I missed out on with the twins," he said with so much wonder in his voice, "Doctor's appointments, ultrasounds, birthing classes, seeing our child being born…"

EJ looked up at her intently then.

"I want to do it all Samantha," he told her earnestly, "I don't want to miss out on a single thing."

"You won't EJ," she promised him, a lump coming to her throat when she thought of all the things EJ had been cheated of with the twins because of circumstances at the time.

EJ looked down at her naked stomach and ran his fingers back and forth over it, a look of absolute reverence on his face.

"I want to see your stomach growing," he whispered, pressing a lingering kiss to her abdomen, "I want to feel it press up against me when I hug you, when we're lying in bed together…"

EJ continued to pepper soft kisses all over her bare midriff and tears well up in Sami's eyes at his tenderness and everything that he was saying. Her hands went to his head, fingers raking though his short, dark hair and making him shudder.

"Make love to me EJ," she said softly.

EJ lifted his head and looked up at her. She could see that he was concerned that she might be too tired after all that had happened in the last couple of days but the last thing Sami was feeling was tired right then.

"Please," she breathed and EJ gave a low groan, undone by her single word.

He lay her down on the bed, almost reverently, as though she might break if he wasn't so very careful with her. EJ stretched out beside Sami on the bed then, collecting her into his arms and beginning to kiss her. The kisses were light and gentle to begin with but they soon deepened into something much hungrier, much more needy. Just from his kisses and the feeling of EJ's naked body against hers was enough to excite Sami to the point of no return and she could feel EJ's swollen manhood rubbing against her thigh, telling her that it was enough for him as well.

"Take me EJ," she groaned, breaking their increasingly heated kisses, "I'm so ready for you!"

"Samantha!" said EJ excitedly, so glad to hear her say that because he didn't know how much longer he could have held on for.

EJ moved so that he was kneeling between Sami's legs, pushing them wider apart. He reached out a hand and cupped her mound, massaging it briefly while his thumb sought out her nub and began to rub it for her. Sami bucked up and moaned loudly and EJ enjoyed watching her writhe around on the bed for a moment because of what he was doing to her but his control was soon at an end. He stopped what he was doing, leaving Sami a panting mess on the bed as she grabbed his aching member in his hand and guided it to her now dripping opening.

"Oh god, oh god, oh god!" he chanted mindlessly as he slowly fed his manhood into her, her tight heat enveloping him and the delirium of the moment almost overwhelmed him.

Sami groaned loudly when he was finally completely enclosed in her, her walls fluttering already at the intrusion, his vast size demanding she make room for him and she obliged him eagerly . EJ moved over her properly now, holding himself above Sami with a hand either side of her shoulder. Sami's hands went to his forearms, resting lightly on them.

"Does that feel good sweetheart?" she asked him breathlessly, looking up at him wide eyed, loving it when he mounted her that slowly.

"God yes!" he hissed, "You're always so damn wet for me, it drives me insane Samantha!"

"It's because I want you so much," she said throatily, "Because I need you to come as hard as you can inside of me EJ."

EJ made a guttural sound at that and Sami gasped as he almost violently jerked his hips, embedding his stiffness as deeply into her as it would go. For a moment EJ worried that he'd been too rough but Sami soon put paid to that.

"More," she moaned up to him, "Harder EJ, don't stop!"

EJ began to move inside of her at her breathy encouragement, continuing to hold his body above hers so the only place they were touching was their joined sexes and Sami's hands on his arms. They held each other's eyes the whole time, not looking away, barely even blinking as their bodies drove each other into a frenzy. They stared deeply into each other's eyes, the only sounds in the room was their combined laboured breathing and the sound of Sami's body taking EJ's over and over again as he relentlessly drilled himself into her and pushed them both towards their peak. Out of the periphery of his vision EJ could see Sami's full breasts jerking up and down with each of his powerful thrusts. He desperately wanted to touch their softness, taste them and have those mouth watering nipples of hers harden under his tongue but he couldn't look away from those blue eyes of hers. He just kept falling into them, ever deeper and knew he would never be able to climb out again and didn't care to try.

"I love you EJ," said Sami unevenly, her eyes wide as she felt herself begin to move ever closer to her climax.

"I adore you Samantha," he told her brokenly, his eyes welling up with tears of such great emotion for this woman, "Never leave me!"

"Never!" Sami promised breathlessly and then her orgasm just swept through her, enveloping her in a white light of exquisite ecstasy.

Seeing and feeling Sami climaxing under and around him EJ lost himself in her as well. His choked cries filled the room as he released himself into her, his seed finding a place deep inside of Sami and claiming her as his own forever more. EJ could no longer hold himself up after such a powerful release and he crumpled, falling down on top of Sami who immediately cradled him in her arms, just as sweaty, spent and breathless as he was.

They remained in each other's arms for a long time, bathed in the exquisiteness of the moment with EJ still deeply inside of her. Neither of them bothered with the inadequacy of words after what had just passed between them…

The best feelings are those that have no words to describe them.  
_~ Michelle Hammersley ~ _

**AUTHOR'S NOTE****:** So there you have it, another instalment in the life and loves of the wonderful occupants of the DiMansion. LOL I have started a sequel to this story called "Birds of a Feather..." but I've only gotten about 20 chapters done on that all year. My other stories have consumed me somewhat but posting this has reminded me how much fun I had writing these stories.

Thank you so much for reading and making it all the way to the end. My hope is that you'll think back on these stories and smile. Stay tuned for the sequel and a new baby on the way for EJ and Sami and all that will entail....


End file.
